English
THATwasallfixed.Sothenwewentawayandwenttotherubbage-pileinthebackyard,wheretheykeeptheoldboots,andrags,andpiecesofbottles,andwore-outtinthings,andallsuchtruck,andscratchedaroundandfoundanoldtinwashpan,andstoppeduptheholesaswellaswecould,tobakethepiein,andtookitdowncellarandstoleitfullofflourandstartedforbreakfast,andfoundacoupleofshingle-nailsthatTomsaidwouldbehandyforaprisonertoscrabblehisnameandsorrowsonthedungeonwallswith,anddroppedoneoftheminAuntSally’sapron-pocketwhichwashangingonachair,andt’otherwestuckinthebandofUncleSilas’shat,whichwasonthebureau,becauseweheardthechildrensaytheirpaandmawasgoingtotherunawaynigger’shousethismorning,andthenwenttobreakfast,andTomdroppedthepewterspooninUncleSilas’scoat-pocket,andAuntSallywasn’tcomeyet,sowehadtowaitalittlewhile.
Andwhenshecomeshewashotandredandcross,andcouldn’thardlywaitfortheblessing;andthenshewenttosluicingoutcoffeewithonehandandcrackingthehandiestchild’sheadwithherthimblewiththeother,andsays:
“I’vehuntedhighandI’vehuntedlow,anditdoesbeatallwhatHASbecomeofyourothershirt.”
Myheartfelldownamongstmylungsandliversandthings,andahardpieceofcorn-cruststarteddownmythroatafteritandgotmetontheroadwithacough,andwasshotacrossthetable,andtookoneofthechildrenintheeyeandcurledhimuplikeafishing-worm,andletacryoutofhimthesizeofawarwhoop,andTomheturnedkinderbluearoundthegills,anditallamountedtoaconsiderablestateofthingsforaboutaquarterofaminuteorasmuchasthat,andIwouldasoldoutforhalfpriceiftherewasabidder.
Butafterthatwewasallrightagain–itwasthesuddensurpriseofitthatknockedussokindofcold.UncleSilashesays:
“It’smostuncommoncurious,Ican’tunderstandit.IknowperfectlywellItookitOFF,because–”
“Becauseyouhain’tgotbutoneON.JustLISTENattheman!
Iknowyoutookitoff,andknowitbyabetterwaythanyourwool-getheringmemory,too,becauseitwasontheclo’s-lineyesterday–Iseeittheremyself.
Butit’sgone,that’sthelongandtheshortofit,andyou’lljusthavetochangetoaredflann’lonetillIcangettimetomakeanewone.
Andit‘llbethethirdI’vemadeintwoyears.
Itjustkeepsabodyonthejumptokeepyouinshirts;andwhateveryoudomanagetoDOwith‘mallismore’nIcanmakeout.
Abody‘dthinkyouWOULDlearntotakesomesortofcareof‘ematyourtimeoflife.”
“Iknowit,Sally,andIdotryallIcan.
Butitoughtn’ttobealtogethermyfault,because,youknow,Idon’tseethemnorhavenothingtodowiththemexceptwhenthey’reonme;andIdon’tbelieveI’veeverlostoneofthemOFFofme.”
“Well,itain’tYOURfaultifyouhaven’t,Silas;you’dadoneitifyoucould,Ireckon.
Andtheshirtain’tallthat’sgone,nuther.
Ther’saspoongone;andTHATain’tall.
Therewasten,andnowther’sonlynine.
Thecalfgottheshirt,Ireckon,butthecalfnevertookthespoon,THAT’Scertain.”
“Why,whatelseisgone,Sally?”
“Ther’ssixCANDLESgone–that’swhat.Theratscouldagotthecandles,andIreckontheydid;Iwondertheydon’twalkoffwiththewholeplace,thewayyou’realwaysgoingtostoptheirholesanddon’tdoit;andiftheywarn’tfoolsthey’dsleepinyourhair,Silas–YOU’Dneverfinditout;butyoucan’tlaytheSPOONontherats,andthatIknow.”
“Well,Sally,I’minfault,andIacknowledgeit;I’vebeenremiss;butIwon’tletto-morrowgobywithoutstoppingupthemholes.”
“Oh,Iwouldn’thurry;nextyear‘lldo.MatildaAngelinaAramintaPHELPS!”
Whackcomesthethimble,andthechildsnatchesherclawsoutofthesugar-bowlwithoutfoolingaroundany.Justthentheniggerwomanstepsontothepassage,andsays:
“Missus,dey’sasheetgone.”
“ASHEETgone!Well,fortheland’ssake!”
“I’llstopupthemholesto-day,”saysUncleSilas,lookingsorrowful.
“Oh,DOshetup!–s’posetheratstooktheSHEET?WHERE’Sitgone,Lize?”
“ClahtogoodnessIhain’tnonotion,Miss’Sally.Shewuzondeclo’slineyistiddy,butshedonegone:sheain’dahnomo’now.”
“IreckontheworldIScomingtoanend.INEVERseethebeatofitinallmyborndays.Ashirt,andasheet,andaspoon,andsixcan–”
“Missus,”comesayoungyallerwench,“dey’sabrasscannelstickmiss’n.”
“Cleroutfromhere,youhussy,erI’lltakeaskillettoye!”
Well,shewasjusta-biling.Ibeguntolayforachance;IreckonedIwouldsneakoutandgoforthewoodstilltheweathermoderated.
Shekepta-ragingrightalong,runningherinsurrectionallbyherself,andeverybodyelsemightymeekandquiet;andatlastUncleSilas,lookingkindoffoolish,fishesupthatspoonoutofhispocket.
Shestopped,withhermouthopenandherhandsup;andasforme,IwishedIwasinJeruslemorsomewheres.Butnotlong,becauseshesays:
“It’sJUSTasIexpected.Soyouhaditinyourpocketallthetime;andlikeasnotyou’vegottheotherthingsthere,too.How’ditgetthere?”
“Ireelydon’tknow,Sally,”hesays,kindofapologizing,“oryouknowIwouldtell.
IwasastudyingovermytextinActsSeventeenbeforebreakfast,andIreckonIputitinthere,notnoticing,meaningtoputmyTestamentin,anditmustbeso,becausemyTestamentain’tin;butI’llgoandsee;andiftheTestamentiswhereIhadit,I’llknowIdidn’tputitin,andthatwillshowthatIlaidtheTestamentdownandtookupthespoon,and–”
“Oh,fortheland’ssake!Giveabodyarest!Go‘longnow,thewholekitandbilingofye;anddon’tcomenighmeagaintillI’vegotbackmypeaceofmind.”
I’Daheardherifshe’dasaidittoherself,letalonespeakingitout;andI’dagotupandobeyedherifI’dabeendead.
Aswewaspassingthroughthesetting-roomtheoldmanhetookuphishat,andtheshingle-nailfelloutonthefloor,andhejustmerelypickeditupandlaiditonthemantel-shelf,andneversaidnothing,andwentout.
Tomseehimdoit,andrememberedaboutthespoon,andsays:
“Well,itain’tnousetosendthingsbyHIMnomore,heain’treliable.”
Thenhesays:“Buthedoneusagoodturnwiththespoon,anyway,withoutknowingit,andsowe’llgoanddohimonewithoutHIMknowingit–stopuphisrat-holes.”
Therewasanoblegoodlotofthemdowncellar,andittookusawholehour,butwedonethejobtightandgoodandshipshape.
Thenweheardstepsonthestairs,andblowedoutourlightandhid;andherecomestheoldman,withacandleinonehandandabundleofstuffint’other,lookingasabsent-mindedasyearbeforelast.
Hewentamooningaround,firsttoonerat-holeandthenanother,tillhe’dbeentothemall.
Thenhestoodaboutfiveminutes,pickingtallowdripoffofhiscandleandthinking.
Thenheturnsoffslowanddreamytowardsthestairs,saying:
“Well,forthelifeofmeIcan’trememberwhenIdoneit.IcouldshowhernowthatIwarn’ttoblameonaccountoftherats.Butnevermind–letitgo.Ireckonitwouldn’tdonogood.”
Andsohewentona-mumblingupstairs,andthenweleft.Hewasamightyniceoldman.Andalwaysis.
Tomwasagooddealbotheredaboutwhattodoforaspoon,buthesaidwe’dgottohaveit;sohetookathink.
Whenhehadciphereditouthetoldmehowwewastodo;thenwewentandwaitedaroundthespoon-baskettillweseeAuntSallycoming,andthenTomwenttocountingthespoonsandlayingthemouttooneside,andIslidoneofthemupmysleeve,andTomsays:
“Why,AuntSally,thereain’tbutninespoonsYET.”
Shesays:
“Go‘longtoyourplay,anddon’tbotherme.Iknowbetter,Icounted‘mmyself.”
“Well,I’vecountedthemtwice,Aunty,andIcan’tmakebutnine.”
Shelookedoutofallpatience,butofcourseshecometocount–anybodywould.
“Ideclaretograciousther’AIN’Tbutnine!”shesays.“Why,whatintheworld–plagueTAKEthethings,I’llcount‘magain.”
SoIslippedbacktheoneIhad,andwhenshegotdonecounting,shesays:
“Hangthetroublesomerubbage,ther’sTENnow!”andshelookedhuffyandbotheredboth.ButTomsays:
“Why,Aunty,Idon’tthinkthere’sten.”
“Younumskull,didn’tyouseemeCOUNT‘m?”
“Iknow,but–”
“Well,I’llcount‘mAGAIN.”
SoIsmouchedone,andtheycomeoutnine,sameastheothertime.
Well,sheWASinatearingway–justa-tremblingallover,shewassomad.
Butshecountedandcountedtillshegotthataddledshe’dstarttocountinthebasketforaspoonsometimes;andso,threetimestheycomeoutright,andthreetimestheycomeoutwrong.
Thenshegrabbedupthebasketandslammeditacrossthehouseandknockedthecatgalley-west;andshesaidcle’routandletherhavesomepeace,andifwecomebotheringaroundheragainbetwixtthatanddinnershe’dskinus.
Sowehadtheoddspoon,anddroppeditinherapron-pocketwhilstshewasa-givingusoursailingorders,andJimgotitallright,alongwithhershinglenail,beforenoon.
Wewasverywellsatisfiedwiththisbusiness,andTomalloweditwasworthtwicethetroubleittook,becausehesaidNOWshecouldn’tevercountthemspoonstwicealikeagaintosaveherlife;andwouldn’tbelieveshe’dcountedthemrightifsheDID;andsaidthataftershe’daboutcountedherheadoffforthenextthreedayshejudgedshe’dgiveitupandoffertokillanybodythatwantedhertoevercountthemanymore.
Soweputthesheetbackonthelinethatnight,andstoleoneoutofhercloset;andkeptonputtingitbackandstealingitagainforacoupleofdaystillshedidn’tknowhowmanysheetsshehadanymore,andshedidn’tCARE,andwarn’ta-goingtobullyragtherestofhersouloutaboutit,andwouldn’tcountthemagainnottosaveherlife;shedrutherdiefirst.
Sowewasallrightnow,astotheshirtandthesheetandthespoonandthecandles,bythehelpofthecalfandtheratsandthemixed-upcounting;andastothecandlestick,itwarn’tnoconsequence,itwouldblowoverbyandby.
Butthatpiewasajob;wehadnoendoftroublewiththatpie.
Wefixeditupawaydowninthewoods,andcookeditthere;andwegotitdoneatlast,andverysatisfactory,too;butnotallinoneday;andwehadtouseupthreewash-pansfullofflourbeforewegotthrough,andwegotburntprettymuchallover,inplaces,andeyesputoutwiththesmoke;because,yousee,wedidn’twantnothingbutacrust,andwecouldn’tpropitupright,andshewouldalwayscavein.
Butofcoursewethoughtoftherightwayatlast–whichwastocooktheladder,too,inthepie.
SothenwelaidinwithJimthesecondnight,andtoreupthesheetallinlittlestringsandtwistedthemtogether,andlongbeforedaylightwehadalovelyropethatyoucouldahungapersonwith.
Weletonittookninemonthstomakeit.
Andintheforenoonwetookitdowntothewoods,butitwouldn’tgointothepie.
Beingmadeofawholesheet,thatway,therewasropeenoughforfortypiesifwe’dawantedthem,andplentyleftoverforsoup,orsausage,oranythingyouchoose.Wecouldahadawholedinner.
Butwedidn’tneedit.Allweneededwasjustenoughforthepie,andsowethrowedtherestaway.
Wedidn’tcooknoneofthepiesinthewash-pan–afraidthesolderwouldmelt;butUncleSilashehadanoblebrasswarming-panwhichhethoughtconsiderableof,becauseitbelongedtooneofhisancesterswithalongwoodenhandlethatcomeoverfromEnglandwithWilliamtheConquerorintheMayfloweroroneofthemearlyshipsandwashidawayupgarretwithalotofotheroldpotsandthingsthatwasvaluable,notonaccountofbeinganyaccount,becausetheywarn’t,butonaccountofthembeingrelicts,youknow,andwesnakedherout,private,andtookherdownthere,butshefailedonthefirstpies,becausewedidn’tknowhow,butshecomeupsmilingonthelastone.
Wetookandlinedherwithdough,andsetherinthecoals,andloadedherupwithragrope,andputonadoughroof,andshutdownthelid,andputhotembersontop,andstoodofffivefoot,withthelonghandle,coolandcomfortable,andinfifteenminutessheturnedoutapiethatwasasatisfactiontolookat.
Butthepersonthatetitwouldwanttofetchacoupleofkagsoftoothpicksalong,forifthatropeladderwouldn’tcramphimdowntobusinessIdon’tknownothingwhatI’mtalkingabout,andlayhiminenoughstomach-achetolasthimtillnexttime,too.
Natdidn’tlookwhenweputthewitchpieinJim’span;andweputthethreetinplatesinthebottomofthepanunderthevittles;andsoJimgoteverythingallright,andassoonashewasbyhimselfhebustedintothepieandhidtheropeladderinsideofhisstrawtick,andscratchedsomemarksonatinplateandthroweditoutofthewindow-hole.
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