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SOIstartedfortowninthewagon,andwhenIwashalf-wayIseeawagoncoming,andsureenoughitwasTomSawyer,andIstoppedandwaitedtillhecomealong.IsaysHoldon!
anditstoppedalongside,andhismouthopeneduplikeatrunk,andstayedso;andheswallowedtwoorthreetimeslikeapersonthat’sgotadrythroat,andthensays:
Ihain’teverdoneyounoharm.Youknowthat.So,then,whatyouwanttocomebackandha’ntMEfor?
Isays:
Ihain’tcomebackIhain’tbeenGONE.
Whenheheardmyvoiceitrightedhimupsome,buthewarn’tquitesatisfiedyet.Hesays:
Don’tyouplaynothingonme,becauseIwouldn’tonyou.Honestinjun,youain’taghost?
Honestinjun,Iain’t,Isays.
WellIIwell,thatoughttosettleit,ofcourse;butIcan’tsomehowseemtounderstanditnoway.Lookyhere,warn’tyouevermurderedATALL?
No.Iwarn’tevermurderedatallIplayeditonthem.Youcomeinhereandfeelofmeifyoudon’tbelieveme.
Sohedoneit;anditsatisfiedhim;andhewasthatgladtoseemeagainhedidn’tknowwhattodo.
Andhewantedtoknowallaboutitrightoff,becauseitwasagrandadventure,andmysterious,andsoithithimwherehelived.
ButIsaid,leaveitalonetillbyandby;andtoldhisdrivertowait,andwedroveoffalittlepiece,andItoldhimthekindofafixIwasin,andwhatdidhereckonwebetterdo?
Hesaid,lethimaloneaminute,anddon’tdisturbhim.
Sohethoughtandthought,andprettysoonhesays:
It’sallright;I’vegotit.Takemytrunkinyourwagon,andletonit’syour’n;andyouturnbackandfoolalongslow,soastogettothehouseaboutthetimeyououghtto;andI’llgotowardstownapiece,andtakeafreshstart,andgetthereaquarterorahalfanhourafteryou;andyouneedn’tletontoknowmeatfirst.
Isays:
Allright;butwaitaminute.There’sonemorethingathingthatNOBODYdon’tknowbutme.
Andthatis,there’saniggerherethatI’ma-tryingtostealoutofslavery,andhisnameisJIMoldMissWatson’sJim.
Hesays:
What!Why,Jimis
Hestoppedandwenttostudying.Isays:
Iknowwhatyou’llsay.You’llsayit’sdirty,lowdownbusiness;butwhatifitis?I’mlowdown;andI’ma-goingtostealhim,andIwantyoukeepmumandnotleton.Willyou?
Hiseyelitup,andhesays:
I’llHELPyoustealhim!
Well,Iletgoallholtsthen,likeIwasshot.
ItwasthemostastonishingspeechIeverheardandI’mboundtosayTomSawyerfellconsiderableinmyestimation.OnlyIcouldn’tbelieveit.TomSawyeraNIGGER-STEALER!
Oh,shucks!Isays;you’rejoking.
Iain’tjoking,either.
Well,then,Isays,jokingornojoking,ifyouhearanythingsaidaboutarunawaynigger,don’tforgettorememberthatYOUdon’tknownothingabouthim,andIdon’tknownothingabouthim.
Thenwetookthetrunkandputitinmywagon,andhedroveoffhiswayandIdrovemine.
ButofcourseIforgotallaboutdrivingslowonaccountsofbeinggladandfullofthinking;soIgothomeaheaptooquickforthatlengthofatrip.
Theoldgentlemanwasatthedoor,andhesays:
Why,thisiswonderful!Whoeverwouldathoughtitwasinthatmaretodoit?Iwishwe’datimedher.
Andshehain’tsweatedahairnotahair.It’swonderful.
Why,Iwouldn’ttakeahundreddollarsforthathorsenowIwouldn’t,honest;andyetI’dasoldherforfifteenbefore,andthoughttwasallshewasworth.
That’sallhesaid.Hewastheinnocentest,bestoldsoulIeversee.
Butitwarn’tsurprising;becausehewarn’tonlyjustafarmer,hewasapreacher,too,andhadalittleone-horselogchurchdownbackoftheplantation,whichhebuiltithimselfathisownexpense,forachurchandschoolhouse,andneverchargednothingforhispreaching,anditwasworthit,too.
Therewasplentyotherfarmer-preacherslikethat,anddonethesameway,downSouth.
InabouthalfanhourTom’swagondroveuptothefrontstile,andAuntSallysheseeitthroughthewindow,becauseitwasonlyaboutfiftyyards,andsays:
Why,there’ssomebodycome!Iwonderwhotis?Why,Idobelieveit’sastranger.Jimmy(that’soneofthechildren)’runandtellLizetoputonanotherplatefordinner.
Everybodymadearushforthefrontdoor,because,ofcourse,astrangerdon’tcomeEVERYyear,andsohelaysovertheyaller-fever,forinterest,whenhedoescome.
Tomwasoverthestileandstartingforthehouse;thewagonwasspinninguptheroadforthevillage,andwewasallbunchedinthefrontdoor.
Tomhadhisstoreclotheson,andanaudienceandthatwasalwaysnutsforTomSawyer.
Inthemcircumstancesitwarn’tnotroubletohimtothrowinanamountofstylethatwassuitable.
Hewarn’taboytomeekyalongupthatyardlikeasheep;no,hecomeca’mandimportant,liketheram.
Whenhegota-frontofusheliftshishateversograciousanddainty,likeitwasthelidofaboxthathadbutterfliesasleepinitandhedidn’twanttodisturbthem,andsays:
Mr.ArchibaldNichols,Ipresume?
No,myboy,saystheoldgentleman,I’msorrytosaytyourdriverhasdeceivedyou;Nichols’splaceisdownamatterofthreemilemore.Comein,comein.
Tomhetookalookbackoverhisshoulder,andsays,"Toolate-he'soutofsight."
"Yes,he'sgone,myson,andyoumustcomeinandeatyourdinnerwithus;andthenwe'llhitchupandtakeyoudowntoNichols's."
Oh,ICAN’Tmakeyousomuchtrouble;Icouldn’tthinkofit.I’llwalkIdon’tmindthedistance.
Butwewon’tLETyouwalkitwouldn’tbeSouthernhospitalitytodoit.Comerightin.
Oh,DO,saysAuntSally;itain’tabitoftroubletous,notabitintheworld.Youmuststay.
It’salong,dustythreemile,andwecan’tletyouwalk.
And,besides,I’vealreadytoldemtoputonanotherplatewhenIseeyoucoming;soyoumustn’tdisappointus.
Comerightinandmakeyourselfathome.
SoTomhethankedthemveryheartyandhandsome,andlethimselfbepersuaded,andcomein;andwhenhewasinhesaidhewasastrangerfromHicksville,Ohio,andhisnamewasWilliamThompsonandhemadeanotherbow.
Well,herunon,andon,andon,makingupstuffaboutHicksvilleandeverybodyinithecouldinvent,andIgettingalittlenervious,andwonderinghowthiswasgoingtohelpmeoutofmyscrape;andatlast,stilltalkingalong,hereachedoverandkissedAuntSallyrightonthemouth,andthensettledbackagaininhischaircomfortable,andwasgoingontalking;butshejumpedupandwipeditoffwiththebackofherhand,andsays:
Youowdaciouspuppy!
Helookedkindofhurt,andsays:
I’msurprisedatyou,m’am.
You’res’rpWhy,whatdoyoureckonIam?I’veagoodnotiontotakeandSay,whatdoyoumeanbykissingme?
Helookedkindofhumble,andsays:
Ididn’tmeannothing,m’am.Ididn’tmeannoharm.IIthoughtyou’dlikeit.
Why,youbornfool!Shetookupthespinningstick,anditlookedlikeitwasallshecoulddotokeepfromgivinghimacrackwithit.WhatmadeyouthinkI’dlikeit?
Well,Idon’tknow.Only,theytheytoldmeyouwould.
THEYtoldyouIwould.Whoevertoldyou’sANOTHERlunatic.Ineverheardthebeatofit.Who’sTHEY?
Why,everybody.Theyallsaidso,m’am.
Itwasallshecoulddotoholdin;andhereyessnapped,andherfingersworkedlikeshewantedtoscratchhim;andshesays:
Who’severybody’?Outwiththeirnames,orther’llbeanidiotshort.
Hegotupandlookeddistressed,andfumbledhishat,andsays:
I’msorry,andIwarn’texpectingit.Theytoldmeto.Theyalltoldmeto.
Theyallsaid,kissher;andsaidshe’dlikeit.Theyallsaiditeveryoneofthem.
ButI’msorry,m’am,andIwon’tdoitnomoreIwon’t,honest.
Youwon’t,won’tyou?Well,Ish’dRECKONyouwon’t!
No’m,I’mhonestaboutit;Iwon’teverdoitagaintillyouaskme.
TillIASKyou!Well,Ineverseethebeatofitinmyborndays!Ilayyou’llbetheMethusalem-numskullofcreationbeforeeverIaskyouorthelikesofyou.
Well,hesays,itdoessurprisemeso.Ican’tmakeitout,somehow.
Theysaidyouwould,andIthoughtyouwould.
ButHestoppedandlookedaroundslow,likehewishedhecouldrunacrossafriendlyeyesomewheres,andfetchedupontheoldgentleman’s,andsays,Didn’tYOUthinkshe’dlikemetokissher,sir?
Why,no;IIwell,no,Ib’lieveIdidn’t.
Thenhelooksonaroundthesamewaytome,andsays:
Tom,didn’tYOUthinkAuntSallydopenoutherarmsandsay,SidSawyer–’
Myland!shesays,breakinginandjumpingforhim,youimpudentyoungrascal,tofoolabodysoandwasgoingtohughim,buthefendedheroff,andsays:
No,nottillyou’veaskedmefirst.
Soshedidn’tlosenotime,butaskedhim;andhuggedhimandkissedhimoverandoveragain,andthenturnedhimovertotheoldman,andhetookwhatwasleft.
Andaftertheygotalittlequietagainshesays:
Why,dearme,Ineverseesuchasurprise.Wewarn’tlookingforYOUatall,butonlyTom.Sisneverwrotetomeaboutanybodycomingbuthim.
It’sbecauseitwarn’tINTENDEDforanyofustocomebutTom,hesays;butIbeggedandbegged,andatthelastminutesheletmecome,too;so,comingdowntheriver,meandTomthoughtitwouldbeafirst-ratesurpriseforhimtocomeheretothehousefirst,andformetobyandbytagalonganddropin,andletontobeastranger.Butitwasamistake,AuntSally.
Thisain’tnohealthyplaceforastrangertocome.
Nonotimpudentwhelps,Sid.Yououghttohadyourjawsboxed;Ihain’tbeensoputoutsinceIdon’tknowwhen.
ButIdon’tcare,Idon’tmindthetermsI’dbewillingtostandathousandsuchjokestohaveyouhere.Well,tothinkofthatperformance!
Idon’tdenyit,Iwasmostputrifiedwithastonishmentwhenyougivemethatsmack.
Wehaddinneroutinthatbroadopenpassagebetwixtthehouseandthekitchen;andtherewasthingsenoughonthattableforsevenfamiliesandallhot,too;noneofyourflabby,toughmeatthat’slaidinacupboardinadampcellarallnightandtasteslikeahunkofoldcoldcannibalinthemorning.
UncleSilasheaskedaprettylongblessingoverit,butitwasworthit;anditdidn’tcoolitabit,neither,thewayI’veseenthemkindofinterruptionsdolotsoftimes.
Therewasaconsiderablegooddealoftalkalltheafternoon,andmeandTomwasonthelookoutallthetime;butitwarn’tnouse,theydidn’thappentosaynothingaboutanyrunawaynigger,andwewasafraidtotrytoworkuptoit.
Butatsupper,atnight,oneofthelittleboyssays:
Pa,mayn’tTomandSidandmegototheshow?
No,saystheoldman,Ireckonthereain’tgoingtobeany;andyoucouldn’tgoiftherewas;becausetherunawayniggertoldBurtonandmeallaboutthatscandalousshow,andBurtonsaidhewouldtellthepeople;soIreckonthey’vedrovetheowdaciousloafersoutoftownbeforethistime.
Sothereitwas!butIcouldn’thelpit.
Tomandmewastosleepinthesameroomandbed;so,beingtired,webidgood-nightandwentuptobedrightaftersupper,andclumboutofthewindowanddownthelightning-rod,andshovedforthetown;forIdidn’tbelieveanybodywasgoingtogivethekingandthedukeahint,andsoifIdidn’thurryupandgivethemonethey’dgetintotroublesure.
OntheroadTomhetoldmeallabouthowitwasreckonedIwasmurdered,andhowpapdisappearedprettysoon,anddidn’tcomebacknomore,andwhatastirtherewaswhenJimrunaway;andItoldTomallaboutourRoyalNonesuchrapscallions,andasmuchoftheraftvoyageasIhadtimeto;andaswestruckintothetownandupthroughtheherecomesaragingrushofpeoplewithtorches,andanawfulwhoopingandyelling,andbangingtinpansandblowinghorns;andwejumpedtoonesidetoletthemgoby;andastheywentbyIseetheyhadthekingandthedukeastraddleofarailthatis,IknoweditWASthekingandtheduke,thoughtheywasallovertarandfeathers,anddidn’tlooklikenothingintheworldthatwashumanjustlookedlikeacoupleofmonstrousbigsoldier-plumes.
Well,itmademesicktoseeit;andIwassorryforthempoorpitifulrascals,itseemedlikeIcouldn’teverfeelanyhardnessagainstthemanymoreintheworld.Itwasadreadfulthingtosee.
HumanbeingsCANbeawfulcrueltooneanother.
Weseewewastoolatecouldn’tdonogood.
Weaskedsomestragglersaboutit,andtheysaideverybodywenttotheshowlookingveryinnocent;andlaidlowandkeptdarktillthepooroldkingwasinthemiddleofhiscavortingsonthestage;thensomebodygiveasignal,andthehouseroseupandwentforthem.
Sowepokedalongbackhome,andIwarn’tfeelingsobrashasIwasbefore,butkindofornery,andhumble,andtoblame,somehowthoughIhadn’tdonenothing.
Butthat’salwaystheway;itdon’tmakenodifferencewhetheryoudorightorwrong,aperson’sconscienceain’tgotnosense,andjustgoesforhimanyway.
IfIhadayallerdogthatdidn’tknownomorethanaperson’sconsciencedoesIwouldpisonhim.
Ittakesupmoreroomthanalltherestofaperson’sinsides,andyetain’tnogood,nohow.TomSawyerhesaysthesame.
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