English
ITwasaftersun-upnow,butwewentrightonanddidn’ttieup.
Thekingandtheduketurnedoutbyandbylookingprettyrusty;butafterthey’djumpedoverboardandtookaswimitchipperedthemupagooddeal.
Afterbreakfastthekinghetookaseatonthecorneroftheraft,andpulledoffhisbootsandrolleduphisbritches,andlethislegsdangleinthewater,soastobecomfortable,andlithispipe,andwenttogettinghisRomeoandJulietbyheart.
Whenhehadgotitprettygoodhimandthedukebeguntopracticeittogether.
Thedukehadtolearnhimoverandoveragainhowtosayeveryspeech;andhemadehimsigh,andputhishandonhisheart,andafterawhilehesaidhedoneitprettywell;“only,”hesays,“youmustn’tbellowoutROMEO!
thatway,likeabull–youmustsayitsoftandsickandlanguishy,so–R-o-o-meo!
thatistheidea;forJuliet’sadearsweetmerechildofagirl,youknow,andshedoesn’tbraylikeajackass.”
Well,nexttheygotoutacoupleoflongswordsthatthedukemadeoutofoaklaths,andbeguntopracticetheswordfight–thedukecalledhimselfRichardIII.;andthewaytheylaidonandprancedaroundtheraftwasgrandtosee.
Butbyandbythekingtrippedandfelloverboard,andafterthattheytookarest,andhadatalkaboutallkindsofadventuresthey’dhadinothertimesalongtheriver.
Afterdinnerthedukesays:
“Well,Capet,we’llwanttomakethisafirst-classshow,youknow,soIguesswe’lladdalittlemoretoit.Wewantalittlesomethingtoanswerencoreswith,anyway.”
“What’sonkores,Bilgewater?”
Theduketoldhim,andthensays:
“I’llanswerbydoingtheHighlandflingorthesailor’shornpipe;andyou–well,letmesee–oh,I’vegotit–youcandoHamlet’ssoliloquy.”
“Hamlet’swhich?”
“Hamlet’ssoliloquy,youknow;themostcelebratedthinginShakespeare.Ah,it’ssublime,sublime!Alwaysfetchesthehouse.
Ihaven’tgotitinthebook–I’veonlygotonevolume–butIreckonIcanpieceitoutfrommemory.
I’lljustwalkupanddownaminute,andseeifIcancallitbackfromrecollection’svaults.”
Sohewenttomarchingupanddown,thinking,andfrowninghorribleeverynowandthen;thenhewouldhoistuphiseyebrows;nexthewouldsqueezehishandonhisforeheadandstaggerbackandkindofmoan;nexthewouldsigh,andnexthe’dletontodropatear.Itwasbeautifultoseehim.Byandbyhegotit.Hetoldustogiveattention.
Thenhestrikesamostnobleattitude,withonelegshovedforwards,andhisarmsstretchedawayup,andhisheadtiltedback,lookingupatthesky;andthenhebeginstoripandraveandgrithisteeth;andafterthat,allthroughhisspeech,hehowled,andspreadaround,andswelleduphischest,andjustknockedthespotsoutofanyactingeverIseebefore.
Thisisthespeech–Ilearnedit,easyenough,whilehewaslearningittotheking:
Tobe,ornottobe;thatisthebarebodkinThatmakescalamityofsolonglife;Forwhowouldfardelsbear,tillBirnamWooddocometoDunsinane,ButthatthefearofsomethingafterdeathMurderstheinnocentsleep,Greatnature’ssecondcourse,AndmakesusratherslingthearrowsofoutrageousfortuneThanflytoothersthatweknownotof.
There’stherespectmustgiveuspause:WakeDuncanwiththyknocking!
Iwouldthoucouldst;Forwhowouldbearthewhipsandscornsoftime,Theoppressor’swrong,theproudman’scontumely,Thelaw’sdelay,andthequietuswhichhispangsmighttake,Inthedeadwasteandmiddleofthenight,whenchurchyardsyawnIncustomarysuitsofsolemnblack,Butthattheundiscoveredcountryfromwhosebournenotravelerreturns,Breathesforthcontagionontheworld,Andthusthenativehueofresolution,likethepoorcati’theadage,Issickliedo’erwithcare,Andallthecloudsthatloweredo’erourhousetops,Withthisregardtheircurrentsturnawry,Andlosethenameofaction.
‘Tisaconsummationdevoutlytobewished.
Butsoftyou,thefairOphelia:Openotthyponderousandmarblejaws,Butgettheetoanunnery–go!
Well,theoldmanhelikedthatspeech,andhemightysoongotitsohecoulddoitfirst-rate.
Itseemedlikehewasjustbornforit;andwhenhehadhishandinandwasexcited,itwasperfectlylovelythewayhewouldripandtearandrairupbehindwhenhewasgettingitoff.
Thefirstchancewegotthedukehehadsomeshowbillsprinted;andafterthat,fortwoorthreedaysaswefloatedalong,theraftwasamostuncommonlivelyplace,fortherewarn’tnothingbutswordfightingandrehearsing–asthedukecalledit–goingonallthetime.
Onemorning,whenwewasprettywelldowntheStateofArkansaw,wecomeinsightofalittleone-horsetowninabigbend;sowetiedupaboutthree-quartersofamileaboveit,inthemouthofacrickwhichwasshutinlikeatunnelbythecypresstrees,andallofusbutJimtookthecanoeandwentdowntheretoseeiftherewasanychanceinthatplaceforourshow.
Westruckitmightylucky;therewasgoingtobeacircustherethatafternoon,andthecountrypeoplewasalreadybeginningtocomein,inallkindsofoldshacklywagons,andonhorses.
Thecircuswouldleavebeforenight,soourshowwouldhaveaprettygoodchance.
Thedukehehiredthecourthouse,andwewentaroundandstuckupourbills.Theyreadlikethis:
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Thenwewentloafingaroundtown.Thestoresandhouseswasmostallold,shackly,driedupframeconcernsthathadn’teverbeenpainted;theywassetupthreeorfourfootabovegroundonstilts,soastobeoutofreachofthewaterwhentheriverwasoverflowed.
Thehouseshadlittlegardensaroundthem,buttheydidn’tseemtoraisehardlyanythinginthembutjimpson-weeds,andsunflowers,andashpiles,andoldcurled-upbootsandshoes,andpiecesofbottles,andrags,andplayed-outtinware.
Thefenceswasmadeofdifferentkindsofboards,nailedonatdifferenttimes;andtheyleanedeverywhichway,andhadgatesthatdidn’tgenerlyhavebutonehinge–aleatherone.
Someofthefenceshadbeenwhitewashedsometimeoranother,butthedukesaiditwasinClumbus’time,likeenough.
Therewasgenerlyhogsinthegarden,andpeopledrivingthemout.
Allthestoreswasalongonestreet.Theyhadwhitedomesticawningsinfront,andthecountrypeoplehitchedtheirhorsestotheawning-posts.
Therewasemptydrygoodsboxesundertheawnings,andloafersroostingonthemalldaylong,whittlingthemwiththeirBarlowknives;andchawingtobacco,andgapingandyawningandstretching–amightyornerylot.
Theygenerlyhadonyellowstrawhatsmostaswideasanumbrella,butdidn’twearnocoatsnorwaistcoats,theycalledoneanotherBill,andBuck,andHank,andJoe,andAndy,andtalkedlazyanddrawly,andusedconsiderablemanycusswords.
Therewasasmanyasoneloaferleaningupagainsteveryawning-post,andhemostalwayshadhishandsinhisbritches-pockets,exceptwhenhefetchedthemouttolendachawoftobaccoorscratch.
Whatabodywashearingamongstthemallthetimewas:
“Gimmeachaw‘vtobacker,Hank“
“Cain’t;Ihain’tgotbutonechawleft.AskBill.”
MaybeBillhegiveshimachaw;maybeheliesandsaysheain’tgotnone.
Someofthemkindsofloafersneverhasacentintheworld,norachawoftobaccooftheirown.
Theygetalltheirchawingbyborrowing;theysaytoafellow,“Iwishtyou’dlen’meachaw,Jack,IjistthisminutegiveBenThompsonthelastchawIhad”–whichisalieprettymucheverytime;itdon’tfoolnobodybutastranger;butJackain’tnostranger,sohesays:
“YOUgivehimachaw,didyou?Sodidyoursister’scat’sgrandmother.
Youpaymebackthechawsyou’veawreadyborry’doff’nme,LafeBuckner,thenI’llloanyouoneortwotonofit,andwon’tchargeyounobackintrust,nuther.”
“Well,IDIDpayyoubacksomeofitwunst.”
“Yes,youdid–‘boutsixchaws.Youborry’dstoretobackerandpaidbacknigger-head.”
Storetobaccoisflatblackplug,butthesefellowsmostlychawsthenaturalleaftwisted.
Whentheyborrowachawtheydon’tgenerlycutitoffwithaknife,butsetthepluginbetweentheirteeth,andgnawwiththeirteethandtugattheplugwiththeirhandstilltheygetitintwo;thensometimestheonethatownsthetobaccolooksmournfulatitwhenit’shandedback,andsays,sarcastic:
“Here,gimmetheCHAW,andyoutakethePLUG.”
Allthestreetsandlaneswasjustmud;theywarn’tnothingelseBUTmud–mudasblackastarandnighaboutafootdeepinsomeplaces,andtwoorthreeinchesdeepinALLtheplaces.
Thehogsloafedandgruntedaroundeverywheres.
You’dseeamuddysowandalitterofpigscomelazyingalongthestreetandwhollopherselfrightdownintheway,wherefolkshadtowalkaroundher,andshe’dstretchoutandshuthereyesandwaveherearswhilstthepigswasmilkingher,andlookashappyasifshewasonsalary.
Andprettysoonyou’dhearaloafersingout,“Hi!SOboy!sickhim,Tige!”
andawaythesowwouldgo,squealingmosthorrible,withadogortwoswingingtoeachear,andthreeorfourdozenmorea-coming;andthenyouwouldseealltheloafersgetupandwatchthethingoutofsight,andlaughatthefunandlookgratefulforthenoise.
Thenthey’dsettlebackagaintilltherewasadogfight.
Therecouldn’tanythingwakethemupallover,andmakethemhappyallover,likeadogfight–unlessitmightbeputtingturpentineonastraydogandsettingfiretohim,ortyingatinpantohistailandseehimrunhimselftodeath.
Ontheriverfrontsomeofthehouseswasstickingoutoverthebank,andtheywasbowedandbent,andaboutreadytotumblein,Thepeoplehadmovedoutofthem.
Thebankwascavedawayunderonecornerofsomeothers,andthatcornerwashangingover.
Peoplelivedinthemyet,butitwasdangersome,becausesometimesastripoflandaswideasahousecavesinatatime.
Sometimesabeltoflandaquarterofamiledeepwillstartinandcavealongandcavealongtillitallcavesintotheriverinonesummer.
Suchatownasthathastobealwaysmovingback,andback,andback,becausetheriver’salwaysgnawingatit.
Theneareritgottonoonthatdaythethickerandthickerwasthewagonsandhorsesinthestreets,andmorecomingallthetime.
Familiesfetchedtheirdinnerswiththemfromthecountry,andeattheminthewagons.
Therewasconsiderablewhiskydrinkinggoingon,andIseenthreefights.Byandbysomebodysingsout:
“HerecomesoldBoggs!–infromthecountryforhislittleoldmonthlydrunk;herehecomes,boys!”
Alltheloaferslookedglad;IreckonedtheywasusedtohavingfunoutofBoggs.Oneofthemsays:
“Wonderwhohe’sa-gwynetochawupthistime.Ifhe’da-chawedupallthemenhe’sbena-gwynetochawupinthelasttwentyyearhe’dhaveconsiderableruputationnow.”
Anotheronesays,“IwishtoldBoggs‘dthreatenme,‘cuzthenI’dknowIwarn’tgwynetodieforathousan’year.”
Boggscomesa-tearingalongonhishorse,whoopingandyellinglikeanInjun,andsingingout:
“Clerthetrack,thar.I’monthewaw-path,andthepriceuvcoffinsisa-gwynetoraise.”
Hewasdrunk,andweavingaboutinhissaddle;hewasoverfiftyyearold,andhadaveryredface.
Everybodyyelledathimandlaughedathimandsassedhim,andhesassedback,andsaidhe’dattendtothemandlaythemoutintheirregularturns,buthecouldn’twaitnowbecausehe’dcometotowntokilloldColonelSherburn,andhismottowas,“Meatfirst,andspoonvittlestotopoffon.”
Heseeme,androdeupandsays:
“Whar’dyoucomef’m,boy?Youpreparedtodie?”
Thenherodeon.Iwasscared,butamansays:
“Hedon’tmeannothing;he’salwaysa-carryin’onlikethatwhenhe’sdrunk.He’sthebestnaturedestoldfoolinArkansaw–neverhurtnobody,drunknorsober.”
Boggsrodeupbeforethebiggeststoreintown,andbenthisheaddownsohecouldseeunderthecurtainoftheawningandyells:
“Comeouthere,Sherburn!Comeoutandmeetthemanyou’veswindled.You’rethehoun’I’mafter,andI’ma-gwynetohaveyou,too!”
Andsohewenton,callingSherburneverythinghecouldlayhistongueto,andthewholestreetpackedwithpeoplelisteningandlaughingandgoingon.
Byandbyaproud-lookingmanaboutfifty-five–andhewasaheapthebestdressedmaninthattown,too–stepsoutofthestore,andthecrowddropsbackoneachsidetolethimcome.
HesaystoBoggs,mightyca’mandslow–hesays:
“I’mtiredofthis,butI’llendureittilloneo’clock.Tilloneo’clock,mind–nolonger.Ifyouopenyourmouthagainstmeonlyonceafterthattimeyoucan’ttravelsofarbutIwillfindyou.”
Thenheturnsandgoesin.Thecrowdlookedmightysober;nobodystirred,andtherewarn’tnomorelaughing.
BoggsrodeoffblackguardingSherburnasloudashecouldyell,alldownthestreet;andprettysoonbackhecomesandstopsbeforethestore,stillkeepingitup.
Somemencrowdedaroundhimandtriedtogethimtoshutup,buthewouldn’t;theytoldhimitwouldbeoneo’clockinaboutfifteenminutes,andsoheMUSTgohome–hemustgorightaway.Butitdidn’tdonogood.
Hecussedawaywithallhismight,andthrowedhishatdowninthemudandrodeoverit,andprettysoonawayhewenta-ragingdownthestreetagain,withhisgrayhairaflying.
Everybodythatcouldgetachanceathimtriedtheirbesttocoaxhimoffofhishorsesotheycouldlockhimupandgethimsober;butitwarn’tnouse–upthestreethewouldtearagain,andgiveSherburnanothercussing.Byandbysomebodysays:
“Goforhisdaughter!–quick,goforhisdaughter;sometimeshe’lllistentoher.Ifanybodycanpersuadehim,shecan.”
Sosomebodystartedonarun.Iwalkeddownstreetawaysandstopped.
InaboutfiveortenminutesherecomesBoggsagain,butnotonhishorse.
Hewasa-reelingacrossthestreettowardsme,bareheaded,withafriendonbothsidesofhima-holtofhisarmsandhurryinghimalong.
Hewasquiet,andlookeduneasy;andhewarn’thangingbackany,butwasdoingsomeofthehurryinghimself.Somebodysingsout:
“Boggs!”
Ilookedovertheretoseewhosaidit,anditwasthatColonelSherburn.
Hewasstandingperfectlystillinthestreet,andhadapistolraisedinhisrighthand–notaimingit,butholdingitoutwiththebarreltilteduptowardsthesky.
ThesamesecondIseeayounggirlcomingontherun,andtwomenwithher.
Boggsandthementurnedroundtoseewhocalledhim,andwhentheyseethepistolthemenjumpedtooneside,andthepistol-barrelcomedownslowandsteadytoalevel–bothbarrelscocked.
Boggsthrowsupbothofhishandsandsays,“OLord,don’tshoot!”Bang!
goesthefirstshot,andhestaggersback,clawingattheair–bang!
goesthesecondone,andhetumblesbackwardsontotheground,heavyandsolid,withhisarmsspreadout.
Thatyounggirlscreamedoutandcomesrushing,anddownshethrowsherselfonherfather,crying,andsaying,“Oh,he’skilledhim,he’skilledhim!”
Thecrowdcloseduparoundthem,andshoulderedandjammedoneanother,withtheirnecksstretched,tryingtosee,andpeopleontheinsidetryingtoshovethembackandshouting,“Back,back!givehimair,givehimair!”
ColonelSherburnhetossedhispistolontotheground,andturnedaroundonhisheelsandwalkedoff.
TheytookBoggstoalittledrugstore,thecrowdpressingaroundjustthesame,andthewholetownfollowing,andIrushedandgotagoodplaceatthewindow,whereIwasclosetohimandcouldseein.
TheylaidhimonthefloorandputonelargeBibleunderhishead,andopenedanotheroneandspreaditonhisbreast;buttheytoreopenhisshirtfirst,andIseenwhereoneofthebulletswentin.
Hemadeaboutadozenlonggasps,hisbreastliftingtheBibleupwhenhedrawedinhisbreath,andlettingitdownagainwhenhebreatheditout–andafterthathelaidstill;hewasdead.
Thentheypulledhisdaughterawayfromhim,screamingandcrying,andtookheroff.
Shewasaboutsixteen,andverysweetandgentlelooking,butawfulpaleandscared.
Well,prettysoonthewholetownwasthere,squirmingandscrougingandpushingandshovingtogetatthewindowandhavealook,butpeoplethathadtheplaceswouldn’tgivethemup,andfolksbehindthemwassayingallthetime,“Say,now,you’velookedenough,youfellows;‘tain’trightand‘tain’tfairforyoutostaytharallthetime,andnevergivenobodyachance;otherfolkshastheirrightsaswellasyou.”
Therewasconsiderablejawingback,soIslidout,thinkingmaybetherewasgoingtobetrouble.
Thestreetswasfull,andeverybodywasexcited.
Everybodythatseentheshootingwastellinghowithappened,andtherewasabigcrowdpackedaroundeachoneofthesefellows,stretchingtheirnecksandlistening.
Onelong,lankyman,withlonghairandabigwhitefurstovepipehatonthebackofhishead,andacrooked-handledcane,markedouttheplacesonthegroundwhereBoggsstoodandwhereSherburnstood,andthepeoplefollowinghimaroundfromoneplacetot’otherandwatchingeverythinghedone,andbobbingtheirheadstoshowtheyunderstood,andstoopingalittleandrestingtheirhandsontheirthighstowatchhimmarktheplacesonthegroundwithhiscane;andthenhestoodupstraightandstiffwhereSherburnhadstood,frowningandhavinghishat-brimdownoverhiseyes,andsungout,“Boggs!”
andthenfetchedhiscanedownslowtoalevel,andsays“Bang!”staggeredbackwards,says“Bang!”again,andfelldownflatonhisback.
Thepeoplethathadseenthethingsaidhedoneitperfect;saiditwasjustexactlythewayitallhappened.
Thenasmuchasadozenpeoplegotouttheirbottlesandtreatedhim.
Well,byandbysomebodysaidSherburnoughttobelynched.
Inaboutaminuteeverybodywassayingit;soawaytheywent,madandyelling,andsnatchingdowneveryclothes-linetheycometotodothehangingwith.
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