English
BYandby,whenwegotup,weturnedoverthetrucktheganghadstoleoffofthewreck,andfoundboots,andblankets,andclothes,andallsortsofotherthings,andalotofbooks,andaspyglass,andthreeboxesofseegars.
Wehadn’teverbeenthisrichbeforeinneitherofourlives.Theseegarswasprime.
Welaidoffalltheafternooninthewoodstalking,andmereadingthebooks,andhavingageneralgoodtime.
ItoldJimallaboutwhathappenedinsidethewreckandattheferryboat,andIsaidthesekindsofthingswasadventures;buthesaidhedidn’twantnomoreadventures.
HesaidthatwhenIwentinthetexasandhecrawledbacktogetontheraftandfoundhergonehenearlydied,becausehejudgeditwasallupwithHIManywayitcouldbefixed;forifhedidn’tgetsavedhewouldgetdrownded;andifhedidgetsaved,whoeversavedhimwouldsendhimbackhomesoastogetthereward,andthenMissWatsonwouldsellhimSouth,sure.
Well,hewasright;hewasmostalwaysright;hehadanuncommonlevelheadforanigger.
IreadconsiderabletoJimaboutkingsanddukesandearlsandsuch,andhowgaudytheydressed,andhowmuchstyletheyputon,andcalledeachotheryourmajesty,andyourgrace,andyourlordship,andsoon,‘steadofmister;andJim’seyesbuggedout,andhewasinterested.Hesays:
“Ididn’knowdeywassomanyunum.Ihain’thearn‘boutnoneunum,skasely,butoleKingSollermun,onlessyoucountsdemkingsdat’sinapackerk’yards.Howmuchdoakinggit?”
“Get?”Isays;“why,theygetathousanddollarsamonthiftheywantit;theycanhavejustasmuchastheywant;everythingbelongstothem.”
“AIN’datgay?Enwhatdeygottodo,Huck?”
“THEYdon’tdonothing!Why,howyoutalk!Theyjustsetaround.”
“No;isdatso?”
“Ofcourseitis.Theyjustsetaround–except,maybe,whenthere’sawar;thentheygotothewar.
Butothertimestheyjustlazyaround;orgohawking–justhawkingandsp–Sh!–d’youhearanoise?”
Weskippedoutandlooked;butitwarn’tnothingbuttheflutterofasteamboat’swheelawaydown,comingaroundthepoint;sowecomeback.
“Yes,”saysI,“andothertimes,whenthingsisdull,theyfusswiththeparlyment;andifeverybodydon’tgojustsohewhackstheirheadsoff.Butmostlytheyhangroundtheharem.”
“Roun’dewhich?”
“Harem.”
“What’sdeharem?”
“Theplacewherehekeepshiswives.Don’tyouknowabouttheharem?Solomonhadone;hehadaboutamillionwives.”
“Why,yes,dat’sso;I–I’ddoneforgotit.Aharem’sabo’d’n-house,Ireck’n.
Mos’likelydeyhasracketytimesindenussery.
EnIreck’ndewivesquarrelsconsidable;endat‘creasederacket.
YitdeysaySollermundewises’mandateverlive’.Idoan’takenostockindat.
Bekasewhy:wouldawisemanwanttoliveindemids’ersichablim-blammin’alldetime?No–‘deedhewouldn’t.
Awiseman‘udtakeenbuil’abiler-factry;endenhecouldshetDOWNdebiler-factrywhenhewanttores’.”
“Well,butheWASthewisestman,anyway;becausethewidowshetoldmeso,herownself.”
“Idoank’yerwhatdewiddersay,heWARN’Tnowisemannuther.Hehadsomeerdedad-fetchedes’waysIeversee.Doesyouknow‘boutdatchiledathe‘uzgwynetochopintwo?”
“Yes,thewidowtoldmeallaboutit.”
“WELL,den!Warn’datdebeatenes’notionindeworl’?Youjes’takeenlookatitaminute.
Dah’sdestump,dah–dat’soneerdewomen;heah’syou–dat’sdeyutherone;I’sSollermun;endishyerdollarbill’sdechile.Bofeunyouclaimsit.WhatdoesIdo?
DoesIshinaroun’mongs’deneighborsenfineoutwhichunyoudebillDOb’longto,enhan’itovertoderightone,allsafeensoun’,dewaydatanybodydathadanygumptionwould?
No;ItakeenwhackdebillinTWO,engivehalfunittoyou,endeyutherhalftodeyutherwoman.
Dat’sdewaySollermunwasgwynetodowiddechile.
NowIwanttoastyou:what’sdeuseerdathalfabill?–can’tbuynoth’nwidit.Enwhatuseisahalfachile?
Iwouldn’giveadernforamillionunum.”
“Buthangit,Jim,you’vecleanmissedthepoint–blameit,you’vemisseditathousandmile.”
“Who?Me?Go‘long.Doan’talktome‘boutyo’pints.
Ireck’nIknowssensewhenIseesit;endeyain’nosenseinsichdoin’sasdat.
De‘sputewarn’t‘boutahalfachile,de‘sputewas‘boutawholechile;endemandatthinkhekinsettlea‘spute‘boutawholechilewidahalfachiledoan’knowenoughtocomeinout’nderain.
Doan’talktome‘boutSollermun,Huck,Iknowshimbydeback.”
“ButItellyouyoudon’tgetthepoint.”
“Blamedepoint!Ireck’nIknowswhatIknows.
Enmineyou,deREALpintisdownfurder–it’sdowndeeper.ItlaysindewaySollermunwasraised.
Youtakeamandat’sgoton’yoneortwochillen;isdatmangwynetobewasefulo’chillen?No,heain’t;hecan’t‘fordit.HEknowhowtovalue‘em.
Butyoutakeamandat’sgot‘boutfivemillionchillenrunnin’roun’dehouse,enit’sdiffunt.
HEassoonchopachileintwoasacat.Dey’splentymo’.
Achileertwo,mo’erless,warn’tnoconsekenstoSollermun,dadfatchhim!”
Ineverseesuchanigger.Ifhegotanotioninhisheadonce,therewarn’tnogettingitoutagain.
HewasthemostdownonSolomonofanyniggerIeversee.
SoIwenttotalkingaboutotherkings,andletSolomonslide.
ItoldaboutLouisSixteenththatgothisheadcutoffinFrancelongtimeago;andabouthislittleboythedolphin,thatwouldabeenaking,buttheytookandshuthimupinjail,andsomesayhediedthere.
“Po’littlechap.”
“Butsomesayshegotoutandgotaway,andcometoAmerica.”
“Dat’sgood!Buthe’llbepootylonesome–deyain’nokingshere,isdey,Huck?”
“No.”
“Denhecain’tgitnosituation.Whathegwynetodo?”
“Well,Idon’tknow.Someofthemgetsonthepolice,andsomeofthemlearnspeoplehowtotalkFrench.”
“Why,Huck,doan’deFrenchpeopletalkdesamewaywedoes?”
“NO,Jim;youcouldn’tunderstandawordtheysaid–notasingleword.”
“Well,now,Ibeding-busted!Howdodatcome?”
“Idon’tknow;butit’sso.Igotsomeoftheirjabberoutofabook.S’poseamanwastocometoyouandsayPolly-voo-franzy–whatwouldyouthink?”
“Iwouldn’thinknuff’n;I’dtakeenbusthimoverdehead–datis,ifhewarn’twhite.Iwouldn’t‘lownoniggertocallmedat.”
“Shucks,itain’tcallingyouanything.It’sonlysaying,doyouknowhowtotalkFrench?”
“Well,den,whycouldn’theSAYit?”
“Why,heISa-sayingit.That’saFrenchman’sWAYofsayingit.”
“Well,it’sablameridicklousway,enIdoan’wanttohearnomo’‘boutit.Deyain’nosenseinit.”
“Lookyhere,Jim;doesacattalklikewedo?”
“No,acatdon’t.”
“Well,doesacow?”
“No,acowdon’t,nuther.”
“Doesacattalklikeacow,oracowtalklikeacat?”
“No,deydon’t.”
“It’snaturalandrightfor‘emtotalkdifferentfromeachother,ain’tit?”
“Course.”
“Andain’titnaturalandrightforacatandacowtotalkdifferentfromUS?”
“Why,mos’sholyitis.”
“Well,then,whyain’titnaturalandrightforaFRENCHMANtotalkdifferentfromus?Youanswermethat.”
“Isacataman,Huck?”
“No.”
“Well,den,deyain’tnosenseinacattalkin’likeaman.Isacowaman?–erisacowacat?”
“No,sheain’teitherofthem.”
“Well,den,sheain’tgotnobusinesstotalklikeeitheroneertheyutherof‘em.IsaFrenchmanaman?”
“Yes.”
“WELL,den!Dadblameit,whydoan’heTALKlikeaman?YouanswermeDAT!”
Iseeitwarn’tnousewastingwords–youcan’tlearnaniggertoargue.SoIquit.
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