English
WELL,Igotagoodgoing-overinthemorningfromoldMissWatsononaccountofmyclothes;butthewidowshedidn’tscold,butonlycleanedoffthegreaseandclay,andlookedsosorrythatIthoughtIwouldbehaveawhileifIcould.
ThenMissWatsonshetookmeintheclosetandprayed,butnothingcomeofit.
Shetoldmetoprayeveryday,andwhateverIaskedforIwouldgetit.Butitwarn’tso.Itriedit.OnceIgotafish-line,butnohooks.Itwarn’tanygoodtomewithouthooks.
Itriedforthehooksthreeorfourtimes,butsomehowIcouldn’tmakeitwork.
Byandby,oneday,IaskedMissWatsontotryforme,butshesaidIwasafool.
Shenevertoldmewhy,andIcouldn’tmakeitoutnoway.
Isetdownonetimebackinthewoods,andhadalongthinkaboutit.
Isaystomyself,ifabodycangetanythingtheyprayfor,whydon’tDeaconWinngetbackthemoneyhelostonpork?
Whycan’tthewidowgetbackhersilversnuffboxthatwasstole?Whycan’tMissWatsonfatup?
No,saysItomyself,thereain’tnothinginit.
Iwentandtoldthewidowaboutit,andshesaidthethingabodycouldgetbyprayingforitwas“spiritualgifts.”
Thiswastoomanyforme,butshetoldmewhatshemeant–Imusthelpotherpeople,anddoeverythingIcouldforotherpeople,andlookoutforthemallthetime,andneverthinkaboutmyself.
ThiswasincludingMissWatson,asItookit.
Iwentoutinthewoodsandturneditoverinmymindalongtime,butIcouldn’tseenoadvantageaboutit–exceptfortheotherpeople;soatlastIreckonedIwouldn’tworryaboutitanymore,butjustletitgo.
SometimesthewidowwouldtakemeonesideandtalkaboutProvidenceinawaytomakeabody’smouthwater;butmaybenextdayMissWatsonwouldtakeholdandknockitalldownagain.
IjudgedIcouldseethattherewastwoProvidences,andapoorchapwouldstandconsiderableshowwiththewidow’sProvidence,butifMissWatson’sgothimtherewarn’tnohelpforhimanymore.
Ithoughtitallout,andreckonedIwouldbelongtothewidow’sifhewantedme,thoughIcouldn’tmakeouthowhewasa-goingtobeanybetteroffthenthanwhathewasbefore,seeingIwassoignorant,andsokindoflow-downandornery.
Paphehadn’tbeenseenformorethanayear,andthatwascomfortableforme;Ididn’twanttoseehimnomore.
Heusedtoalwayswhalemewhenhewassoberandcouldgethishandsonme;thoughIusedtotaketothewoodsmostofthetimewhenhewasaround.
Well,aboutthistimehewasfoundintheriverdrownded,abouttwelvemileabovetown,sopeoplesaid.
Theyjudgeditwashim,anyway;saidthisdrowndedmanwasjusthissize,andwasragged,andhaduncommonlonghair,whichwasalllikepap;buttheycouldn’tmakenothingoutoftheface,becauseithadbeeninthewatersolongitwarn’tmuchlikeafaceatall.
Theysaidhewasfloatingonhisbackinthewater.
Theytookhimandburiedhimonthebank.
ButIwarn’tcomfortablelong,becauseIhappenedtothinkofsomething.
Iknowedmightywellthatadrowndedmandon’tfloatonhisback,butonhisface.
SoIknowed,then,thatthiswarn’tpap,butawomandressedupinaman’sclothes.SoIwasuncomfortableagain.
Ijudgedtheoldmanwouldturnupagainbyandby,thoughIwishedhewouldn’t.
Weplayedrobbernowandthenaboutamonth,andthenIresigned.Alltheboysdid.
Wehadn’trobbednobody,hadn’tkilledanypeople,butonlyjustpretended.
Weusedtohopoutofthewoodsandgochargingdownonhog-driversandwomenincartstakinggardenstufftomarket,butweneverhivedanyofthem.
TomSawyercalledthehogs“ingots,”andhecalledtheturnipsandstuff“julery,”andwewouldgotothecaveandpowwowoverwhatwehaddone,andhowmanypeoplewehadkilledandmarked.ButIcouldn’tseenoprofitinit.
OnetimeTomsentaboytorunabouttownwithablazingstick,whichhecalledaslogan(whichwasthesignfortheGangtogettogether),andthenhesaidhehadgotsecretnewsbyhisspiesthatnextdayawholeparcelofSpanishmerchantsandrichA-rabswasgoingtocampinCaveHollowwithtwohundredelephants,andsixhundredcamels,andoverathousand“sumter”mules,allloadeddownwithdi’monds,andtheydidn’thaveonlyaguardoffourhundredsoldiers,andsowewouldlayinambuscade,ashecalledit,andkillthelotandscoopthethings.
Hesaidwemustslickupourswordsandguns,andgetready.
Henevercouldgoafterevenaturnip-cartbuthemusthavetheswordsandgunsallscouredupforit,thoughtheywasonlylathandbroomsticks,andyoumightscouratthemtillyourotted,andthentheywarn’tworthamouthfulofashesmorethanwhattheywasbefore.
Ididn’tbelievewecouldlicksuchacrowdofSpaniardsandA-rabs,butIwantedtoseethecamelsandelephants,soIwasonhandnextday,Saturday,intheambuscade;andwhenwegotthewordwerushedoutofthewoodsanddownthehill.
Buttherewarn’tnoSpaniardsandA-rabs,andtherewarn’tnocamelsnornoelephants.
Itwarn’tanythingbutaSunday-schoolpicnic,andonlyaprimer-classatthat.
Webusteditup,andchasedthechildrenupthehollow;butwenevergotanythingbutsomedoughnutsandjam,thoughBenRogersgotaragdoll,andJoHarpergotahymn-bookandatract;andthentheteacherchargedin,andmadeusdropeverythingandcut.
Ididn’tseenodi’monds,andItoldTomSawyerso.
Hesaidtherewasloadsofthemthere,anyway;andhesaidtherewasA-rabsthere,too,andelephantsandthings.Isaid,whycouldn’tweseethem,then?
HesaidifIwarn’tsoignorant,buthadreadabookcalledDonQuixote,Iwouldknowwithoutasking.Hesaiditwasalldonebyenchantment.
Hesaidtherewashundredsofsoldiersthere,andelephantsandtreasure,andsoon,butwehadenemieswhichhecalledmagicians;andtheyhadturnedthewholethingintoaninfantSundayschool,justoutofspite.
Isaid,allright;thenthethingforustodowastogoforthemagicians.TomSawyersaidIwasanumskull.
“Why,”saidhe,“amagiciancouldcallupalotofgenies,andtheywouldhashyouuplikenothingbeforeyoucouldsayJackRobinson.Theyareastallasatreeandasbigaroundasachurch.”
“Well,”Isays,“s’posewegotsomegeniestohelpUS–can’twelicktheothercrowdthen?”
“Howyougoingtogetthem?”
“Idon’tknow.HowdoTHEYgetthem?”
“Why,theyrubanoldtinlamporanironring,andthenthegeniescometearingin,withthethunderandlightninga-rippingaroundandthesmokea-rolling,andeverythingthey’retoldtodotheyupanddoit.
Theydon’tthinknothingofpullingashot-towerupbytheroots,andbeltingaSunday-schoolsuperintendentovertheheadwithit–oranyotherman.”
“Whomakesthemteararoundso?”
“Why,whoeverrubsthelamporthering.
Theybelongtowhoeverrubsthelamporthering,andthey’vegottodowhateverhesays.
Ifhetellsthemtobuildapalacefortymileslongoutofdi’monds,andfillitfullofchewing-gum,orwhateveryouwant,andfetchanemperor’sdaughterfromChinaforyoutomarry,they’vegottodoit–andthey’vegottodoitbeforesun-upnextmorning,too.
Andmore:they’vegottowaltzthatpalacearoundoverthecountrywhereveryouwantit,youunderstand.”
“Well,”saysI,“Ithinktheyareapackofflatheadsfornotkeepingthepalacethemselves‘steadoffoolingthemawaylikethat.
Andwhat’smore–ifIwasoneofthemIwouldseeamaninJerichobeforeIwoulddropmybusinessandcometohimfortherubbingofanoldtinlamp.”
“Howyoutalk,HuckFinn.Why,you’dHAVEtocomewhenherubbedit,whetheryouwantedtoornot.”
“What!andIashighasatreeandasbigasachurch?Allright,then;IWOULDcome;butIlayI’dmakethatmanclimbthehighesttreetherewasinthecountry.”
“Shucks,itain’tnousetotalktoyou,HuckFinn.Youdon’tseemtoknowanything,somehow–perfectsaphead.”
Ithoughtallthisoverfortwoorthreedays,andthenIreckonedIwouldseeiftherewasanythinginit.
Igotanoldtinlampandanironring,andwentoutinthewoodsandrubbedandrubbedtillIsweatlikeanInjun,calculatingtobuildapalaceandsellit;butitwarn’tnouse,noneofthegeniescome.
SothenIjudgedthatallthatstuffwasonlyjustoneofTomSawyer’slies.
IreckonedhebelievedintheA-rabsandtheelephants,butasformeIthinkdifferent.
IthadallthemarksofaSunday-school.
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