English
Iwasbornanidiot–butI’mclevererthanpeoplethink.IcanthinkthingsOK,butwhenIhavetosaythemorwritethemdown,sometimestheycomeoutallwrong.WhenIwasborn,myMomnamedmeForrest.MydaddydiedjustafterIwasborn.Heworkedontheships.Onedayabigboxofbananasfelldownonmydaddyandkilledhim.
Idon’tlikebananasmuch.Onlybananacake.Ilikethatallright.
AtfirstwhenIwasgrowingup,Iplayedwitheverybody.Butthensomeboyshitme,andmyMomdidn’twantmetoplaywiththemagain.Itriedtoplaywithgirls,buttheyallranawayfromme.
Iwenttoanordinaryschoolforayear.Thenthechildrenstartedlaughingandrunningawayfromme.Butonegirl,JennyCurran,didn’trunaway,andsometimesshewalkedhomewithme.Shewasnice.
Thentheyputmeintoanotherkindofschool,andthereweresomestrangeboysthere.Somecouldn’teatorgotothetoiletwithouthelp.Istayedinthatschoolforfiveorsixyears.ButwhenIwasthirteen,Igrewsixinchesinsixmonths!AndbythetimeIwassixteen,Iwasbiggerandheavierthanalltheotherboysintheschool.
OnedayIwaswalkinghome,andacarstoppednexttome.Thedriveraskedmemyname,andItoldhim.‘Whatschooldoyougoto?’heasked.
Itoldhimabouttheidiotschool.
‘Doyoueverplayfootball?’heasked.
‘No,’Itoldhim.‘Iseeotherpeopleplaying,butIdon’tplayandtheyneveraskmetoplaywiththem.’
‘OK,’themansaid.
Threedayslater,themaninthecarcameandgotmeoutofschool.Momwasthere,andtheygotallthethingsoutofmydeskandputtheminabrownpaperbag.Thentheytoldmetosaygoodbyetotheteacher.
ThemaninthecartookmeandMomtothenewhighschool.There,anoldmanwithgreyhairaskedmelotsofquestions.ButIknewthattheyreallywantedmetoplayfootball.ThemaninthecarwasafootballcoachcalledFellers.CoachFellersaskedmetoputonafootballsuit,thenaskedmetoundressanddressagain,twentytimes,untilIcoulddoiteasily.
Ibegantoplayfootballwiththehighschoolteam,andCoachFellershelpedme.AndIwenttolessonsintheschool.Oneteacher,MissHenderson,wasreallynice.Shetaughtmetoread.AndwhodoyouthinkIsawintheschoolcafe?JennyCurran!Shewasallgrown-upnow,withprettyblackhair,longlegs,andabeautifulface.Iwentandsatwithher,andsherememberedme!
Buttherewasaboyinthecafewhostartedcallingmenames,andsayingthingslike,‘How’sStupid?’.Thenhethrewsomemilkatme,andIjumpedoutofmychairandranaway.Adayortwolater,afterschoolintheafternoon,heandhisfriendscameuptomeandstartedpushingandhittingme.Thentheyranaftermeacrossthefootballfield.Iranawayfast!
IsawthatCoachFellerswaswatchingme.Hehadastrangelookonhisface,andhecameandtoldmetoputonmyfootballsuit.Thatafternoon,hegavemetheballtorunwith.Theothersstartedrunningafterme,andIranasfastasIcould.Whentheycaughtme,itneededeightofthemtopullmedown!CoachFellerswasreallyhappy!Hestartedjumpingupanddownandlaughing.Andafterthat,everybodylikedme.
Wehadourfirstgame,andIwasfrightened.Buttheygavemetheball,andIranoverthegoallinetwoorthreetimes.Peoplewerereallykindtomeafterthat!
Thensomethinghappenedwhichwasnotsogood.
‘IwanttotakeJennyCurrantothecinema,’ItoldMomoneday.
SoshephonedJenny’sMomandexplained.Nextevening,Jennyarrivedatourhouse,wearingawhitedress,andwithapinkflowerinherhair.ShewastheprettiestthingthatIeversaw.
Thecinemawasnotfarfromourhouse.Jennygotthetickets,andwewentinside.Thefilmwasaboutamanandawoman,BonnieandClyde,andtherewasalotofshootingandkilling.Well,Ilaughedalot.ButwhenIdidthis,peoplelookedatme,andJennygotdownlowerandlowerinherplace.OnceIthoughtshewasonthefloor,andIputmyhandonhershouldertopullherup.ButIpulledherdress,anditcameopen,andshescreamed.
Itriedtoputmyhandsinfrontofher,becausetherewerepeoplelookingatus.Thentwomencameandtookmetoanoffice.Afewminuteslater,fourpolicemenarrived,andtookmetothepolicestation!
Momcametothepolicestation.Shewascrying,andIknewthatIwasintroubleagain.AndIwasintrouble,butIwaslucky.Nextday,aletterarrivedfromauniversity.Itwasgoodnews:ifIplayedintheirfootballteam,therewasaplaceformeinschoolthere.
Andthepolicesaid,‘That’sOKwithus.Justgetoutoftown!’
Sothenextmorning,Momputsomethingsintoasuitcaseforme,andputmeonabus.Shewascryingagain.Buttheystartedthebus,andawayIwent.
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