English
‘Andsoitwasyouthatwasyourownfriend,wasit?’
askedMr.Claypole,otherwiseBolter,when,byvirtueofthecompactenteredintobetweenthem,hehadremovednextdaytoFagin’shouse.’’Cod,Ithoughtasmuchlastnight!’
‘Everyman’shisownfriend,mydear,’repliedFagin,withhismostinsinuatinggrin.‘Hehasn’tasgoodaoneashimselfanywhere.’
‘Exceptsometimes,’repliedMorrisBolter,assumingtheairofamanoftheworld.‘Somepeoplearenobody’senemiesbuttheirown,yerknow.’
‘Don’tbelievethat,’saidFagin.‘Whenaman’shisownenemy,it’sonlybecausehe’stoomuchhisownfriend;notbecausehe’scarefulforeverybodybuthimself.Pooh!pooh!Thereain’tsuchathinginnature.’
‘Thereoughn’ttobe,ifthereis,’repliedMr.Bolter.
‘Thatstandstoreason.Someconjurerssaythatnumberthreeisthemagicnumber,andsomesaynumberseven.It’sneither,myfriend,neither.It’snumberone.
‘Ha!ha!’criedMr.Bolter.‘Numberoneforever.’
‘Inalittlecommunitylikeours,mydear,’saidFagin,whofeltitnecessarytoqualifythisposition,‘wehaveageneralnumberone,withoutconsideringmetooasthesame,andalltheotheryoungpeople.’
‘Oh,thedevil!’exclaimedMr.Bolter.
‘Yousee,’pursuedFagin,affectingtodisregardthisinterruption,‘wearesomixeduptogether,andidentifiedinourinterests,thatitmustbeso.
Forinstance,it’syourobjecttotakecareofnumberone—meaningyourself.’
‘Certainly,’repliedMr.Bolter.‘Yeraboutrightthere.’
‘Well!Youcan’ttakecareofyourself,numberone,withouttakingcareofme,numberone.’
‘Numbertwo,youmean,’saidMr.Bolter,whowaslargelyendowedwiththequalityofselfishness.
‘No,Idon’t!’retortedFagin.‘I’mofthesameimportancetoyou,asyouaretoyourself.’
‘Isay,’interruptedMr.Bolter,‘yeraveryniceman,andI’mveryfondofyer;butweain’tquitesothicktogether,asallthatcomesto.’
‘Onlythink,’saidFagin,shrugginghisshoulders,andstretchingouthishands;‘onlyconsider.
You’vedonewhat’saveryprettything,andwhatIloveyoufordoing;butwhatatthesametimewouldputthecravatroundyourthroat,that’ssoveryeasilytiedandsoverydifficulttounloose—inplainEnglish,thehalter!’
Mr.Bolterputhishandtohisneckerchief,asifhefeltitinconvenientlytight;andmurmuredanassent,qualifiedintonebutnotinsubstance.
‘Thegallows,’continuedFagin,‘thegallows,mydear,isanuglyfinger-post,whichpointsoutaveryshortandsharpturningthathasstoppedmanyaboldfellow’scareeronthebroadhighway.
Tokeepintheeasyroad,andkeepitatadistance,isobjectnumberonewithyou.’
‘Ofcourseitis,’repliedMr.Bolter.‘Whatdoyertalkaboutsuchthingsfor?’
‘Onlytoshowyoumymeaningclearly,’saidtheJew,raisinghiseyebrows.
‘Tobeabletodothat,youdependuponme.
Tokeepmylittlebusinessallsnug,Idependuponyou.
Thefirstisyournumberone,thesecondmynumberone.
Themoreyouvalueyournumberone,themorecarefulyoumustbeofmine;sowecomeatlasttowhatItoldyouatfirst—thataregardfornumberoneholdsusalltogether,andmustdoso,unlesswewouldallgotopiecesincompany.’
‘That’strue,’rejoinedMr.Bolter,thoughtfully.‘Oh!yeracunningoldcodger!’
Mr.Faginsaw,withdelight,thatthistributetohispowerswasnomerecompliment,butthathehadreallyimpressedhisrecruitwithasenseofhiswilygenius,whichitwasmostimportantthatheshouldentertainintheoutsetoftheiracquaintance.
Tostrengthenanimpressionsodesirableanduseful,hefolloweduptheblowbyacquaintinghim,insomedetail,withthemagnitudeandextentofhisoperations;blendingtruthandfictiontogether,asbestservedhispurpose;andbringingbothtobear,withsomuchart,thatMr.Bolter’srespectvisiblyincreased,andbecametempered,atthesametime,withadegreeofwholesomefear,whichitwashighlydesirabletoawaken.
‘It’sthismutualtrustwehaveineachotherthatconsolesmeunderheavylosses,’saidFagin.‘Mybesthandwastakenfromme,yesterdaymorning.’
‘Youdon’tmeantosayhedied?’criedMr.Bolter.
‘No,no,’repliedFagin,‘notsobadasthat.Notquitesobad.’
‘What,Isupposehewas—’
‘Wanted,’interposedFagin.‘Yes,hewaswanted.’
‘Veryparticular?’inquiredMr.Bolter.
‘No,’repliedFagin,‘notvery.Hewaschargedwithattemptingtopickapocket,andtheyfoundasilversnuff-boxonhim,—hisown,mydear,hisown,forhetooksnuffhimself,andwasveryfondofit.
Theyremandedhimtillto-day,fortheythoughttheyknewtheowner.Ah!
hewasworthfiftyboxes,andI’dgivethepriceofasmanytohavehimback.
YoushouldhaveknowntheDodger,mydear;youshouldhaveknowntheDodger.’
‘Well,butIshallknowhim,Ihope;don’tyerthinkso?’saidMr.Bolter.
‘I’mdoubtfulaboutit,’repliedFagin,withasigh.
‘Iftheydon’tgetanyfreshevidence,it’llonlybeasummaryconviction,andweshallhavehimbackagainaftersixweeksorso;but,iftheydo,it’sacaseoflagging.
Theyknowwhatacleverladheis;he’llbealifer.
They’llmaketheArtfulnothinglessthanalifer.’
‘Whatdoyoumeanbylaggingandalifer?’demandedMr.Bolter.‘What’sthegoodoftalkinginthatwaytome;whydon’tyerspeaksoasIcanunderstandyer?’
Faginwasabouttotranslatethesemysteriousexpressionsintothevulgartongue;and,beinginterpreted,Mr.Bolterwouldhavebeeninformedthattheyrepresentedthatcombinationofwords,‘transportationforlife,’whenthedialoguewascutshortbytheentryofMasterBates,withhishandsinhisbreeches-pockets,andhisfacetwistedintoalookofsemi-comicalwoe.
‘It’sallup,Fagin,’saidCharley,whenheandhisnewcompanionhadbeenmadeknowntoeachother.
‘Whatdoyoumean?’
‘They’vefoundthegentlemanasownsthebox;twoorthreemore’sacomingto‘dentifyhim;andtheArtful’sbookedforapassageout,’repliedMasterBates.
‘Imusthaveafullsuitofmourning,Fagin,andahatband,towisithimin,aforehesetsoutuponhistravels.
TothinkofJackDawkins—lummyJack—theDodger—theArtfulDodger—goingabroadforacommontwopenny-halfpennysneeze-box!
Ineverthoughthe’dadoneitunderagoldwatch,chain,andseals,atthelowest.
Oh,whydidn’therobsomericholdgentlemanofallhiswalables,andgooutasagentleman,andnotlikeacommonprig,withoutnohonournorglory!’
Withthisexpressionoffeelingforhisunfortunatefriend,MasterBatessathimselfonthenearestchairwithanaspectofchagrinanddespondency.
‘Whatdoyoutalkabouthishavingneitherhonournorgloryfor!’
exclaimedFagin,dartinganangrylookathispupil.
‘Wasn’thealwaysthetop-sawyeramongyouall!
Isthereoneofyouthatcouldtouchhimorcomenearhimonanyscent!Eh?’
‘Notone,’repliedMasterBates,inavoicerenderedhuskybyregret;‘notone.’
‘Thenwhatdoyoutalkof?’repliedFaginangrily;‘whatareyoublubberingfor?’
’’Causeitisn’tontherec-ord,isit?’
saidCharley,chafedintoperfectdefianceofhisvenerablefriendbythecurrentofhisregrets;’’causeitcan’tcomeoutinthe‘dictment;‘causenobodywillneverknowhalfofwhathewas.
HowwillhestandintheNewgateCalendar?P’rapsnotbethereatall.Oh,myeye,myeye,wotablowitis!’
‘Ha!ha!’
criedFagin,extendinghisrighthand,andturningtoMr.Bolterinafitofchucklingwhichshookhimasthoughhehadthepalsy;‘seewhatapridetheytakeintheirprofession,mydear.Ain’titbeautiful?’
Mr.Bolternoddedassent,andFagin,aftercontemplatingthegriefofCharleyBatesforsomesecondswithevidentsatisfaction,steppeduptothatyounggentlemanandpattedhimontheshoulder.
‘Nevermind,Charley,’saidFaginsoothingly;‘it’llcomeout,it’llbesuretocomeout.
They’llallknowwhatacleverfellowhewas;he’llshowithimself,andnotdisgracehisoldpalsandteachers.Thinkhowyoungheistoo!
Whatadistinction,Charley,tobelaggedathistimeoflife!’
‘Well,itisahonourthatis!’saidCharley,alittleconsoled.
‘Heshallhaveallhewants,’continuedtheJew.
‘HeshallbekeptintheStoneJug,Charley,likeagentleman.Likeagentleman!
Withhisbeereveryday,andmoneyinhispockettopitchandtosswith,ifhecan’tspendit.’
‘No,shallhethough?’criedCharleyBates.
‘Ay,thatheshall,’repliedFagin,‘andwe’llhaveabig-wig,Charley:onethat’sgotthegreatestgiftofthegab:tocarryonhisdefence;andheshallmakeaspeechforhimselftoo,ifhelikes;andwe’llreaditallinthepapers—”ArtfulDodger—shrieksoflaughter—herethecourtwasconvulsed”—eh,Charley,eh?’
‘Ha!ha!’laughedMasterBates,‘whatalarkthatwouldbe,wouldn’tit,Fagin?Isay,howtheArtfulwouldbother‘emwouldn’the?’
‘Would!’criedFagin.‘Heshall—hewill!’
‘Ah,tobesure,sohewill,’repeatedCharley,rubbinghishands.
‘IthinkIseehimnow,’criedtheJew,bendinghiseyesuponhispupil.
‘SodoI,’criedCharleyBates.‘Ha!ha!ha!
sodoI.Iseeitallaforeme,uponmysoulIdo,Fagin.Whatagame!Whataregulargame!
Allthebig-wigstryingtolooksolemn,andJackDawkinsaddressingof‘emasintimateandcomfortableasifhewasthejudge’sownsonmakingaspeecharterdinner—ha!ha!ha!’
Infact,Mr.Faginhadsowellhumouredhisyoungfriend’seccentricdisposition,thatMasterBates,whohadatfirstbeendisposedtoconsidertheimprisonedDodgerratherinthelightofavictim,nowlookeduponhimasthechiefactorinasceneofmostuncommonandexquisitehumour,andfeltquiteimpatientforthearrivalofthetimewhenhisoldcompanionshouldhavesofavourableanopportunityofdisplayinghisabilities.
‘Wemustknowhowhegetsonto-day,bysomehandymeansorother,’saidFagin.‘Letmethink.’
‘ShallIgo?’askedCharley.
‘Notfortheworld,’repliedFagin.‘Areyoumad,mydear,starkmad,thatyou’dwalkintotheveryplacewhere—No,Charley,no.Oneisenoughtoloseatatime.’
‘Youdon’tmeantogoyourself,Isuppose?’saidCharleywithahumorousleer.
‘Thatwouldn’tquitefit,’repliedFaginshakinghishead.
‘Thenwhydon’tyousendthisnewcove?’askedMasterBates,layinghishandonNoah’sarm.‘Nobodyknowshim.’
‘Why,ifhedidn’tmind—’observedFagin.
‘Mind!’interposedCharley.‘Whatshouldhehavetomind?’
‘Reallynothing,mydear,’saidFagin,turningtoMr.Bolter,‘reallynothing.’
‘Oh,Idaresayaboutthat,yerknow,’observedNoah,backingtowardsthedoor,andshakinghisheadwithakindofsoberalarm.‘No,no—noneofthat.It’snotinmydepartment,thatain’t.’
‘Wotdepartmenthashegot,Fagin?’inquiredMasterBates,surveyingNoah’slankformwithmuchdisgust.
‘Thecuttingawaywhenthere’sanythingwrong,andtheeatingallthewittleswhenthere’severythingright;isthathisbranch?’
‘Nevermind,’retortedMr.Bolter;‘anddon’tyertakelibertieswithyersuperiors,littleboy,oryer’llfindyerselfinthewrongshop.’
MasterBateslaughedsovehementlyatthismagnificentthreat,thatitwassometimebeforeFagincouldinterpose,andrepresenttoMr.Bolterthatheincurrednopossibledangerinvisitingthepolice-office;that,inasmuchasnoaccountofthelittleaffairinwhichhehadengaged,noranydescriptionofhisperson,hadyetbeenforwardedtothemetropolis,itwasveryprobablethathewasnotevensuspectedofhavingresortedtoitforshelter;andthat,ifhewereproperlydisguised,itwouldbeassafeaspotforhimtovisitasanyinLondon,inasmuchasitwouldbe,ofallplaces,theverylast,towhichhecouldbesupposedlikelytoresortofhisownfreewill.
Persuaded,inpart,bytheserepresentations,butoverborneinamuchgreaterdegreebyhisfearofFagin,Mr.Bolteratlengthconsented,withaverybadgrace,toundertaketheexpedition.
ByFagin’sdirections,heimmediatelysubstitutedforhisownattire,awaggoner’sfrock,velveteenbreeches,andleatherleggings:allofwhicharticlestheJewhadathand.
Hewaslikewisefurnishedwithafelthatwellgarnishedwithturnpiketickets;andacarter’swhip.
Thusequipped,hewastosaunterintotheoffice,assomecountryfellowfromCoventGardenmarketmightbesupposedtodoforthegratificationofhiscuriousity;andashewasasawkward,ungainly,andraw-bonedafellowasneedbe,Mr.Faginhadnofearbutthathewouldlooktheparttoperfection.
Thesearrangementscompleted,hewasinformedofthenecessarysignsandtokensbywhichtorecognisetheArtfulDodger,andwasconveyedbyMasterBatesthroughdarkandwindingwaystowithinaveryshortdistanceofBowStreet.
Havingdescribedtheprecisesituationoftheoffice,andaccompanieditwithcopiousdirectionshowhewastowalkstraightupthepassage,andwhenhegotintotheside,andpulloffhishatashewentintotheroom,CharleyBatesbadehimhurryonalone,andpromisedtobidehisreturnonthespotoftheirparting.
NoahClaypole,orMorrisBolterasthereaderpleases,punctuallyfollowedthedirectionshehadreceived,which—MasterBatesbeingprettywellacquaintedwiththelocality—weresoexactthathewasenabledtogainthemagisterialpresencewithoutaskinganyquestion,ormeetingwithanyinterruptionbytheway.
Hefoundhimselfjostledamongacrowdofpeople,chieflywomen,whowerehuddledtogetherinadirtyfrowsyroom,attheupperendofwhichwasaraisedplatformrailedofffromtherest,withadockfortheprisonersonthelefthandagainstthewall,aboxforthewitnessesinthemiddle,andadeskforthemagistratesontheright;theawfullocalitylastnamed,beingscreenedoffbyapartitionwhichconcealedthebenchfromthecommongaze,andleftthevulgartoimagine(iftheycould)thefullmajestyofjustice.
Therewereonlyacoupleofwomeninthedock,whowerenoddingtotheiradmiringfriends,whiletheclerkreadsomedepositionstoacoupleofpolicemenandamaninplainclotheswholeantoverthetable.
Ajailerstoodrecliningagainstthedock-rail,tappinghisnoselistlesslywithalargekey,exceptwhenherepressedanunduetendencytoconversationamongtheidlers,byproclaimingsilence;orlookedsternlyuptobidsomewoman‘Takethatbabyout,’whenthegravityofjusticewasdisturbedbyfeeblecries,half-smotheredinthemother’sshawl,fromsomemeagreinfant.
Theroomsmeltcloseandunwholesome;thewallsweredirt-discoloured;andtheceilingblackened.
Therewasanoldsmokybustoverthemantel-shelf,andadustyclockabovethedock—theonlythingpresent,thatseemedtogoonasitought;fordepravity,orpoverty,oranhabitualacquaintancewithboth,hadleftataintonalltheanimatematter,hardlylessunpleasantthanthethickgreasyscumoneveryinamimateobjectthatfrowneduponit.
NoahlookedeagerlyabouthimfortheDodger;butalthoughtherewereseveralwomenwhowouldhavedoneverywellforthatdistinguishedcharacter’smotherorsister,andmorethanonemanwhomightbesupposedtobearastrongresemblancetohisfather,nobodyatallansweringthedescriptiongivenhimofMr.Dawkinswastobeseen.
Hewaitedinastateofmuchsuspenseanduncertaintyuntilthewomen,beingcommittedfortrial,wentflauntingout;andthenwasquicklyrelievedbytheappearanceofanotherprisonerwhohefeltatoncecouldbenootherthantheobjectofhisvisit.
ItwasindeedMr.Dawkins,who,shufflingintotheofficewiththebigcoatsleevestuckedupasusual,hislefthandinhispocket,andhishatinhisrighthand,precededthejailer,witharollinggaitaltogetherindescribable,and,takinghisplaceinthedock,requestedinanaudiblevoicetoknowwhathewasplacedinthat‘eredisgracefulsitivationfor.
‘Holdyourtongue,willyou?’saidthejailer.
‘I’manEnglishman,ain’tI?’rejoinedtheDodger.‘Wherearemypriwileges?’
‘You’llgetyourprivilegessoonenough,’retortedthejailer,‘andpepperwith‘em.’
‘We’llseewottheSecretaryofStatefortheHomeAffairshasgottosaytothebeaks,ifIdon’t,’repliedMr.Dawkins.‘Nowthen!Wotisthisherebusiness?
Ishallthankthemadg’stratestodisposeofthisherelittleaffair,andnottokeepmewhiletheyreadthepaper,forI’vegotanappointmentwithagenelmanintheCity,andasIamamanofmywordandwerypunctualinbusinessmatters,he’llgoawayifIain’ttheretomytime,andthenpr’apstherwon’tbeanactionfordamageagainstthemaskepmeaway.Ohno,certainlynot!’
Atthispoint,theDodger,withashowofbeingveryparticularwithaviewtoproceedingstobehadthereafter,desiredthejailertocommunicate‘thenamesofthemtwofilesaswasonthebench.’
Whichsotickledthespectators,thattheylaughedalmostasheartilyasMasterBatescouldhavedoneifhehadheardtherequest.
‘Silencethere!’criedthejailer.
‘Whatisthis?’inquiredoneofthemagistrates.
‘Apick-pocketingcase,yourworship.’
‘Hastheboyeverbeenherebefore?’
‘Heoughttohavebeen,amanytimes,’repliedthejailer.‘Hehasbeenprettywelleverywhereelse.Iknowhimwell,yourworship.’
‘Oh!youknowme,doyou?’criedtheArtful,makinganoteofthestatement.‘Werygood.That’sacaseofdeformationofcharacter,anyway.’
Heretherewasanotherlaugh,andanothercryofsilence.
‘Nowthen,wherearethewitnesses?’saidtheclerk.
‘Ah!that’sright,’addedtheDodger.‘Wherearethey?Ishouldliketosee‘em.’
Thiswishwasimmediatelygratified,forapolicemansteppedforwardwhohadseentheprisonerattemptthepocketofanunknowngentlemaninacrowd,andindeedtakeahandkerchieftherefrom,which,beingaveryoldone,hedeliberatelyputbackagain,aftertryingitonhisowncountenance.
Forthisreason,hetooktheDodgerintocustodyassoonashecouldgetnearhim,andthesaidDodger,beingsearched,haduponhispersonasilversnuff-box,withtheowner’snameengraveduponthelid.
ThisgentlemanhadbeendiscoveredonreferencetotheCourtGuide,andbeingthenandtherepresent,sworethatthesnuff-boxwashis,andthathehadmisseditonthepreviousday,themomenthehaddisengagedhimselffromthecrowdbeforereferredto.
Hehadalsoremarkedayounggentlemaninthethrong,particularlyactiveinmakinghiswayabout,andthatyounggentlemanwastheprisonerbeforehim.
‘Haveyouanythingtoaskthiswitness,boy?’saidthemagistrate.
‘Iwouldn’tabasemyselfbydescendingtoholdnoconversationwithhim,’repliedtheDodger.
‘Haveyouanythingtosayatall?’
‘Doyouhearhisworshipaskifyou’veanythingtosay?’inquiredthejailer,nudgingthesilentDodgerwithhiselbow.
‘Ibegyourpardon,’saidtheDodger,lookingupwithanairofabstraction.‘Didyouredressyourselftome,myman?’
‘Ineverseesuchanout-and-outyoungwagabond,yourworship,’observedtheofficerwithagrin.‘Doyoumeantosayanything,youyoungshaver?’
‘No,’repliedtheDodger,‘nothere,forthisain’ttheshopforjustice:besideswhich,myattorneyisa-breakfastingthismorningwiththeWicePresidentoftheHouseofCommons;butIshallhavesomethingtosayelsewhere,andsowillhe,andsowillawerynumerousand‘spectablecircleofacquaintanceas’llmakethembeakswishthey’dneverbeenborn,orthatthey’dgottheirfootmentohang‘emuptotheirownhat-pegs,aforetheylet‘emcomeoutthismorningtotryitonuponme.
I’ll—’
‘There!He’sfullycommitted!’interposedtheclerk.‘Takehimaway.’
‘Comeon,’saidthejailer.
‘Ohah!I’llcomeon,’repliedtheDodger,brushinghishatwiththepalmofhishand.‘Ah!
(totheBench)it’snouseyourlookingfrightened;Iwon’tshowyounomercy,notaha’porthofit.You’llpayforthis,myfinefellers.Iwouldn’tbeyouforsomething!
Iwouldn’tgofree,now,ifyouwastofalldownonyourkneesandaskme.Here,carrymeofftoprison!Takemeaway!’
Withtheselastwords,theDodgersufferedhimselftobeledoffbythecollar;threatening,tillhegotintotheyard,tomakeaparliamentarybusinessofit;andthengrinningintheofficer’sface,withgreatgleeandself-approval.
Havingseenhimlockedupbyhimselfinalittlecell,NoahmadethebestofhiswaybacktowherehehadleftMasterBates.
Afterwaitingheresometime,hewasjoinedbythatyounggentleman,whohadprudentlyabstainedfromshowinghimselfuntilhehadlookedcarefullyabroadfromasnugretreat,andascertainedthathisnewfriendhadnotbeenfollowedbyanyimpertinentperson.
Thetwohastenedbacktogether,tobeartoMr.FagintheanimatingnewsthattheDodgerwasdoingfulljusticetohisbringing-up,andestablishingforhimselfagloriousreputation.
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