English
Mr.Bumblesatintheworkhouseparlour,withhiseyesmoodilyfixedonthecheerlessgrate,whence,asitwassummertime,nobrightergleamproceeded,thanthereflectionofcertainsicklyraysofthesun,whichweresentbackfromitscoldandshiningsurface.
Apaperfly-cagedangledfromtheceiling,towhichheoccasionallyraisedhiseyesingloomythought;and,astheheedlessinsectshoveredroundthegaudynet-work,Mr.Bumblewouldheaveadeepsigh,whileamoregloomyshadowoverspreadhiscountenance.
Mr.Bumblewasmeditating;itmightbethattheinsectsbroughttomind,somepainfulpassageinhisownpastlife.
NorwasMr.Bumble’sgloomtheonlythingcalculatedtoawakenapleasingmelancholyinthebosomofaspectator.
Therewerenotwantingotherappearances,andthosecloselyconnectedwithhisownperson,whichannouncedthatagreatchangehadtakenplaceinthepositionofhisaffairs.
Thelacedcoat,andthecockedhat;wherewerethey?
Hestillworeknee-breeches,anddarkcottonstockingsonhisnetherlimbs;buttheywerenotthebreeches.
Thecoatwaswide-skirted;andinthatrespectlikethecoat,but,ohhowdifferent!
Themightycockedhatwasreplacedbyamodestroundone.Mr.Bumblewasnolongerabeadle.
Therearesomepromotionsinlife,which,independentofthemoresubstantialrewardstheyoffer,requirepeculiarvalueanddignityfromthecoatsandwaistcoatsconnectedwiththem.
Afield-marshalhashisuniform;abishophissilkapron;acounsellorhissilkgown;abeadlehiscockedhat.
Stripthebishopofhisapron,orthebeadleofhishatandlace;whatarethey?Men.Meremen.
Dignity,andevenholinesstoo,sometimes,aremorequestionsofcoatandwaistcoatthansomepeopleimagine.
Mr.BumblehadmarriedMrs.Corney,andwasmasteroftheworkhouse.Anotherbeadlehadcomeintopower.Onhimthecockedhat,gold-lacedcoat,andstaff,hadallthreedescended.
‘Andto-morrowtwomonthsitwasdone!’saidMr.Bumble,withasigh.‘Itseemsaage.’
Mr.Bumblemighthavemeantthathehadconcentratedawholeexistenceofhappinessintotheshortspaceofeightweeks;butthesigh—therewasavastdealofmeaninginthesigh.
‘Isoldmyself,’saidMr.Bumble,pursuingthesametrainofrelection,‘forsixteaspoons,apairofsugar-tongs,andamilk-pot;withasmallquantityofsecond-handfurniture,andtwentypoundinmoney.Iwentveryreasonable.Cheap,dirtcheap!’
‘Cheap!’criedashrillvoiceinMr.Bumble’sear:‘youwouldhavebeendearatanyprice;anddearenoughIpaidforyou,Lordaboveknowsthat!’
Mr.Bumbleturned,andencounteredthefaceofhisinterestingconsort,who,imperfectlycomprehendingthefewwordsshehadoverheardofhiscomplaint,hadhazardedtheforegoingremarkataventure.
‘Mrs.Bumble,ma’am!’saidMr.Bumble,withasentimentalsternness.
‘Well!’criedthelady.
‘Havethegoodnesstolookatme,’saidMr.Bumble,fixinghiseyesuponher.
(Ifshestandssuchaeyeasthat,’saidMr.Bumbletohimself,‘shecanstandanything.
ItisaeyeIneverknewtofailwithpaupers.
Ifitfailswithher,mypowerisgone.’)
Whetheranexceedinglysmallexpansionofeyebesufficienttoquellpaupers,who,beinglightlyfed,areinnoveryhighcondition;orwhetherthelateMrs.Corneywasparticularlyproofagainsteagleglances;aremattersofopinion.
Thematteroffact,is,thatthematronwasinnowayoverpoweredbyMr.Bumble’sscowl,but,onthecontrary,treateditwithgreatdisdain,andevenraisedalaughthereat,whichsoundedasthoughitweregenuine.
Onhearingthismostunexpectedsound,Mr.Bumblelooked,firstincredulous,andafterwardsamazed.
Hethenrelapsedintohisformerstate;nordidherousehimselfuntilhisattentionwasagainawakenedbythevoiceofhispartner.
‘Areyougoingtositsnoringthere,allday?’inquiredMrs.Bumble.
‘Iamgoingtosithere,aslongasIthinkproper,ma’am,’rejoinedMr.Bumble;‘andalthoughIwasnotsnoring,Ishallsnore,gape,sneeze,laugh,orcry,asthehumourstrikesme;suchbeingmyprerogative.’
‘Yourprerogative!’sneeredMrs.Bumble,withineffablecontempt.
‘Isaidtheword,ma’am,’saidMr.Bumble.‘Theprerogativeofamanistocommand.’
‘Andwhat’stheprerogativeofawoman,inthenameofGoodness?’criedtherelictofMr.Corneydeceased.
‘Toobey,ma’am,’thunderedMr.Bumble.‘Yourlateunfortunatehusbandshouldhavetaughtityou;andthen,perhaps,hemighthavebeenalivenow.Iwishhewas,poorman!’
Mrs.Bumble,seeingataglance,thatthedecisivemomenthadnowarrived,andthatablowstruckforthemastershipononesideorother,mustnecessarilybefinalandconclusive,nosoonerheardthisallusiontothedeadandgone,thanshedroppedintoachair,andwithaloudscreamthatMr.Bumblewasahard-heartedbrute,fellintoaparoxysmoftears.
But,tearswerenotthethingstofindtheirwaytoMr.Bumble’ssoul;hisheartwaswaterproof.
Likewashablebeaverhatsthatimprovewithrain,hisnerveswererenderedstouterandmorevigorous,byshowersoftears,which,beingtokensofweakness,andsofartacitadmissionsofhisownpower,pleasedandexaltedhim.
Heeyedhisgoodladywithlooksofgreatsatisfaction,andbegged,inanencouragingmanner,thatsheshouldcryherhardest:theexercisebeinglookedupon,bythefaculty,asstronglyconducivetohealth.
‘Itopensthelungs,washesthecountenance,exercisestheeyes,andsoftensdownthetemper,’saidMr.Bumble.‘Socryaway.’
Ashedischargedhimselfofthispleasantry,Mr.Bumbletookhishatfromapeg,andputtingiton,ratherrakishly,ononeside,asamanmight,whofelthehadassertedhissuperiorityinabecomingmanner,thrusthishandsintohispockets,andsaunteredtowardsthedoor,withmucheaseandwaggishnessdepictedinhiswholeappearance.
Now,Mrs.Corneythatwas,hadtriedthetears,becausetheywerelesstroublesomethanamanualassault;but,shewasquitepreparedtomaketrialofthelattermodeofproceeding,asMr.Bumblewasnotlongindiscovering.
Thefirstproofheexperiencedofthefact,wasconveyedinahollowsound,immediatelysucceededbythesuddenflyingoffofhishattotheoppositeendoftheroom.
Thispreliminaryproceedinglayingbarehishead,theexpertlady,claspinghimtightlyroundthethroatwithonehand,inflictedashowerofblows(dealtwithsingularvigouranddexterity)uponitwiththeother.
Thisdone,shecreatedalittlevarietybyscratchinghisface,andtearinghishair;and,having,bythistime,inflictedasmuchpunishmentasshedeemednecessaryfortheoffence,shepushedhimoverachair,whichwasluckilywellsituatedforthepurpose:anddefiedhimtotalkabouthisprerogativeagain,ifhedared.
‘Getup!’saidMrs.Bumble,inavoiceofcommand.‘Andtakeyourselfawayfromhere,unlessyouwantmetodosomethingdesperate.’
Mr.Bumblerosewithaveryruefulcountenance:wonderingmuchwhatsomethingdesperatemightbe.Pickinguphishat,helookedtowardsthedoor.
‘Areyougoing?’demandedMrs.Bumble.
‘Certainly,mydear,certainly,’rejoinedMr.Bumble,makingaquickermotiontowardsthedoor.‘Ididn’tintendto—I’mgoing,mydear!Youaresoveryviolent,thatreallyI—’
Atthisinstant,Mrs.Bumblesteppedhastilyforwardtoreplacethecarpet,whichhadbeenkickedupinthescuffle.
Mr.Bumbleimmediatelydartedoutoftheroom,withoutbestowinganotherthoughtonhisunfinishedsentence:leavingthelateMrs.Corneyinfullpossessionofthefield.
Mr.Bumblewasfairlytakenbysurprise,andfairlybeaten.
Hehadadecidedpropensityforbullying:derivednoinconsiderablepleasurefromtheexerciseofpettycruelty;and,consequently,was(itisneedlesstosay)acoward.
Thisisbynomeansadisparagementtohischaracter;formanyofficialpersonages,whoareheldinhighrespectandadmiration,arethevictimsofsimilarinfirmities.
Theremarkismade,indeed,ratherinhisfavourthanotherwise,andwithaviewofimpressingthereaderwithajustsenseofhisqualificationsforoffice.
But,themeasureofhisdegradationwasnotyetfull.
Aftermakingatourofthehouse,andthinking,forthefirsttime,thatthepoor-lawsreallyweretoohardonpeople;andthatmenwhoranawayfromtheirwives,leavingthemchargeabletotheparish,ought,injusticetobevisitedwithnopunishmentatall,butratherrewardedasmeritoriousindividualswhohadsufferedmuch;Mr.Bumblecametoaroomwheresomeofthefemalepauperswereusuallyemployedinwashingtheparishlinen:whenthesoundofvoicesinconversation,nowproceeded.
‘Hem!’saidMr.Bumble,summoningupallhisnativedignity.‘Thesewomenatleastshallcontinuetorespecttheprerogative.Hallo!hallothere!Whatdoyoumeanbythisnoise,youhussies?’
Withthesewords,Mr.Bumbleopenedthedoor,andwalkedinwithaveryfierceandangrymanner:whichwasatonceexchangedforamosthumiliatedandcoweringair,ashiseyesunexpectedlyrestedontheformofhisladywife.
‘Mydear,’saidMr.Bumble,‘Ididn’tknowyouwerehere.’
‘Didn’tknowIwashere!’repeatedMrs.Bumble.‘Whatdoyoudohere?’
‘Ithoughttheyweretalkingrathertoomuchtobedoingtheirworkproperly,mydear,’repliedMr.Bumble:glancingdistractedlyatacoupleofoldwomenatthewash-tub,whowerecomparingnotesofadmirationattheworkhouse-master’shumility.
‘Youthoughttheyweretalkingtoomuch?’saidMrs.Bumble.‘Whatbusinessisitofyours?’
‘Why,mydear—’urgedMr.Bumblesubmissively.
‘Whatbusinessisitofyours?’demandedMrs.Bumble,again.
‘It’sverytrue,you’rematronhere,mydear,’submittedMr.Bumble;‘butIthoughtyoumightn’tbeinthewayjustthen.’
‘I’lltellyouwhat,Mr.Bumble,’returnedhislady.
‘Wedon’twantanyofyourinterference.
You’reagreatdealtoofondofpokingyournoseintothingsthatdon’tconcernyou,makingeverybodyinthehouselaugh,themomentyourbackisturned,andmakingyourselflooklikeafooleveryhourintheday.Beoff;come!’
Mr.Bumble,seeingwithexcruciatingfeelings,thedelightofthetwooldpaupers,whoweretitteringtogethermostrapturously,hesitatedforaninstant.
Mrs.Bumble,whosepatiencebrookednodelay,caughtupabowlofsoap-suds,andmotioninghimtowardsthedoor,orderedhiminstantlytodepart,onpainofreceivingthecontentsuponhisportlyperson.
WhatcouldMr.Bumbledo?Helookeddejectedlyround,andslunkaway;and,ashereachedthedoor,thetitteringsofthepaupersbrokeintoashrillchuckleofirrepressibledelight.Itwantedbutthis.
Hewasdegradedintheireyes;hehadlostcasteandstationbeforetheverypaupers;hehadfallenfromalltheheightandpompofbeadleship,tothelowestdepthofthemostsnubbedhen-peckery.
‘Allintwomonths!’saidMr.Bumble,filledwithdismalthoughts.‘Twomonths!
Nomorethantwomonthsago,Iwasnotonlymyownmaster,buteverybodyelse’s,sofarastheporochialworkhousewasconcerned,andnow!—’
Itwastoomuch.Mr.Bumbleboxedtheearsoftheboywhoopenedthegateforhim(forhehadreachedtheportalinhisreverie);andwalked,distractedly,intothestreet.
Hewalkeduponestreet,anddownanother,untilexercisehadabatedthefirstpassionofhisgrief;andthentherevulsionoffeelingmadehimthirsty.
Hepassedagreatmanypublic-houses;but,atlengthpausedbeforeoneinaby-way,whoseparlour,ashegatheredfromahastypeepovertheblinds,wasdeserted,savebyonesolitarycustomer.
Itbegantorain,heavily,atthemoment.Thisdeterminedhim.
Mr.Bumblesteppedin;andorderingsomethingtodrink,ashepassedthebar,enteredtheapartmentintowhichhehadlookedfromthestreet.
Themanwhowasseatedthere,wastallanddark,andworealargecloak.
Hehadtheairofastranger;andseemed,byacertainhaggardnessinhislook,aswellasbythedustysoilsonhisdress,tohavetravelledsomedistance.
HeeyedBumbleaskance,asheentered,butscarcelydeignedtonodhisheadinacknowledgmentofhissalutation.
Mr.Bumblehadquitedignityenoughfortwo;supposingeventhatthestrangerhadbeenmorefamiliar:sohedrankhisgin-and-waterinsilence,andreadthepaperwithgreatshowofpompandcircumstance.
Itsohappened,however:asitwillhappenveryoften,whenmenfallintocompanyundersuchcircumstances:thatMr.Bumblefelt,everynowandthen,apowerfulinducement,whichhecouldnotresist,tostealalookatthestranger:andthatwheneverhedidso,hewithdrewhiseyes,insomeconfusion,tofindthatthestrangerwasatthatmomentstealingalookathim.
Mr.Bumble’sawkwardnesswasenhancedbytheveryremarkableexpressionofthestranger’seye,whichwaskeenandbright,butshadowedbyascowlofdistrustandsuspicion,unlikeanythinghehadeverobservedbefore,andrepulsivetobehold.
Whentheyhadencounteredeachother’sglanceseveraltimesinthisway,thestranger,inaharsh,deepvoice,brokesilence.
‘Wereyoulookingforme,’hesaid,‘whenyoupeeredinatthewindow?’
‘NotthatIamawareof,unlessyou’reMr.—’HereMr.Bumblestoppedshort;forhewascurioustoknowthestranger’sname,andthoughtinhisimpatience,hemightsupplytheblank.
‘Iseeyouwerenot,’saidthestranger;anexpressionofquietsarcasmplayingabouthismouth;‘oryouhaveknownmyname.Youdon’tknowit.Iwouldrecommendyounottoaskforit.’
‘Imeantnoharm,youngman,’observedMr.Bumble,majestically.
‘Andhavedonenone,’saidthestranger.
Anothersilencesucceededthisshortdialogue:whichwasagainbrokenbythestranger.
‘Ihaveseenyoubefore,Ithink?’saidhe.‘Youweredifferentlydressedatthattime,andIonlypassedyouinthestreet,butIshouldknowyouagain.Youwerebeadlehere,once;wereyounot?’
‘Iwas,’saidMr.Bumble,insomesurprise;‘porochialbeadle.’
‘Justso,’rejoinedtheother,noddinghishead.‘ItwasinthatcharacterIsawyou.Whatareyounow?’
‘Masteroftheworkhouse,’rejoinedMr.Bumble,slowlyandimpressively,tocheckanyunduefamiliaritythestrangermightotherwiseassume.‘Masteroftheworkhouse,youngman!’
‘Youhavethesameeyetoyourowninterest,thatyoualwayshad,Idoubtnot?’resumedthestranger,lookingkeenlyintoMr.Bumble’seyes,asheraisedtheminastonishmentatthequestion.
‘Don’tscrupletoanswerfreely,man.Iknowyouprettywell,yousee.’
‘Isuppose,amarriedman,’repliedMr.Bumble,shadinghiseyeswithhishand,andsurveyingthestranger,fromheadtofoot,inevidentperplexity,‘isnotmoreaversetoturninganhonestpennywhenhecan,thanasingleone.
Porochialofficersarenotsowellpaidthattheycanaffordtorefuseanylittleextrafee,whenitcomestotheminacivilandpropermanner.’
Thestrangersmiled,andnoddedhisheadagain:asmuchtosay,hehadnotmistakenhisman;thenrangthebell.
‘Fillthisglassagain,’hesaid,handingMr.Bumble’semptytumblertothelandlord.‘Letitbestrongandhot.Youlikeitso,Isuppose?’
‘Nottoostrong,’repliedMr.Bumble,withadelicatecough.
‘Youunderstandwhatthatmeans,landlord!’saidthestranger,drily.
Thehostsmiled,disappeared,andshortlyafterwardsreturnedwithasteamingjorum:ofwhich,thefirstgulpbroughtthewaterintoMr.Bumble’seyes.
‘Nowlistentome,’saidthestranger,afterclosingthedoorandwindow.
‘Icamedowntothisplace,to-day,tofindyouout;and,byoneofthosechanceswhichthedevilthrowsinthewayofhisfriendssometimes,youwalkedintotheveryroomIwassittingin,whileyouwereuppermostinmymind.Iwantsomeinformationfromyou.
Idon’taskyoutogiveitfornothing,slightasitis.Putupthat,tobeginwith.’
Ashespoke,hepushedacoupleofsovereignsacrossthetabletohiscompanion,carefully,asthoughunwillingthatthechinkingofmoneyshouldbeheardwithout.
WhenMr.Bumblehadscrupulouslyexaminedthecoins,toseethattheyweregenuine,andhadputthemup,withmuchsatisfaction,inhiswaistcoat-pocket,hewenton:
‘Carryyourmemoryback—letmesee—twelveyears,lastwinter.’
‘It’salongtime,’saidMr.Bumble.‘Verygood.I’vedoneit.’
‘Thescene,theworkhouse.’
‘Good!’
‘Andthetime,night.’
‘Yes.’
‘Andtheplace,thecrazyhole,whereveritwas,inwhichmiserabledrabsbroughtforththelifeandhealthsooftendeniedtothemselves—gavebirthtopulingchildrenfortheparishtorear;andhidtheirshame,rot‘eminthegrave!’
‘Thelying-inroom,Isuppose?’saidMr.Bumble,notquitefollowingthestranger’sexciteddescription.
‘Yes,’saidthestranger.‘Aboywasbornthere.’
‘Amanyboys,’observedMr.Bumble,shakinghishead,despondingly.
‘Amurrainontheyoungdevils!’criedthestranger;‘Ispeakofone;ameek-looking,pale-facedboy,whowasapprenticeddownhere,toacoffin-maker—Iwishhehadmadehiscoffin,andscrewedhisbodyinit—andwhoafterwardsranawaytoLondon,asitwassupposed.
‘Why,youmeanOliver!YoungTwist!’saidMr.Bumble;‘Irememberhim,ofcourse.Therewasn’taobstinateryoungrascal—’
‘It’snotofhimIwanttohear;I’veheardenoughofhim,’saidthestranger,stoppingMr.BumbleintheoutsetofatiradeonthesubjectofpoorOliver’svices.
‘It’sofawoman;thehagthatnursedhismother.Whereisshe?’
‘Whereisshe?’saidMr.Bumble,whomthegin-and-waterhadrenderedfacetious.‘Itwouldbehardtotell.
There’snomidwiferythere,whicheverplaceshe’sgoneto;soIsupposeshe’soutofemployment,anyway.’
‘Whatdoyoumean?’demandedthestranger,sternly.
‘Thatshediedlastwinter,’rejoinedMr.Bumble.
Themanlookedfixedlyathimwhenhehadgiventhisinformation,andalthoughhedidnotwithdrawhiseyesforsometimeafterwards,hisgazegraduallybecamevacantandabstracted,andheseemedlostinthought.
Forsometime,heappeareddoubtfulwhetherheoughttoberelievedordisappointedbytheintelligence;butatlengthhebreathedmorefreely;andwithdrawinghiseyes,observedthatitwasnogreatmatter.Withthatherose,asiftodepart.
ButMr.Bumblewascunningenough;andheatoncesawthatanopportunitywasopened,forthelucrativedisposalofsomesecretinthepossessionofhisbetterhalf.
HewellrememberedthenightofoldSally’sdeath,whichtheoccurrencesofthatdayhadgivenhimgoodreasontorecollect,astheoccasiononwhichhehadproposedtoMrs.Corney;andalthoughthatladyhadneverconfidedtohimthedisclosureofwhichshehadbeenthesolitarywitness,hehadheardenoughtoknowthatitrelatedtosomethingthathadoccurredintheoldwoman’sattendance,asworkhousenurse,upontheyoungmotherofOliverTwist.
Hastilycallingthiscircumstancetomind,heinformedthestranger,withanairofmystery,thatonewomanhadbeenclosetedwiththeoldharridanshortlybeforeshedied;andthatshecould,ashehadreasontobelieve,throwsomelightonthesubjectofhisinquiry.
‘HowcanIfindher?’saidthestranger,thrownoffhisguard;andplainlyshowingthatallhisfears(whatevertheywere)werearousedafreshbytheintelligence.
‘Onlythroughme,’rejoinedMr.Bumble.
‘When?’criedthestranger,hastily.
‘To-morrow,’rejoinedBumble.
‘Atnineintheevening,’saidthestranger,producingascrapofpaper,andwritingdownuponit,anobscureaddressbythewater-side,incharactersthatbetrayedhisagitation;‘atnineintheevening,bringhertomethere.Ineedn’ttellyoutobesecret.It’syourinterest.’
Withthesewords,heledthewaytothedoor,afterstoppingtopayfortheliquorthathadbeendrunk.
Shortlyremarkingthattheirroadsweredifferent,hedeparted,withoutmoreceremonythananemphaticrepetitionofthehourofappointmentforthefollowingnight.
Onglancingattheaddress,theparochialfunctionaryobservedthatitcontainednoname.Thestrangerhadnotgonefar,sohemadeafterhimtoaskit.
‘Whatdoyouwant?’criedtheman,turningquicklyround,asBumbletouchedhimonthearm.‘Followingme?’
‘Onlytoaskaquestion,’saidtheother,pointingtothescrapofpaper.‘WhatnameamItoaskfor?’
‘Monks!’rejoinedtheman;andstrodehastily,away.
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