Butmyfirstnightinthehunters’steeragewasalsomylast. NextdayJohansen,thenewmate,wasroutedfromthecabinbyWolfLarsen,andsentintothesteeragetosleepthereafter,whileItookpossessionofthetinycabinstate-room,which,onthefirstdayofthevoyage,hadalreadyhadtwooccupants. Thereasonforthischangewasquicklylearnedbythehunters,andbecamethecauseofadealofgrumblingontheirpart. ItseemedthatJohansen,inhissleep,livedovereachnighttheeventsoftheday. HisincessanttalkingandshoutingandbellowingofordershadbeentoomuchforWolfLarsen,whohadaccordinglyfoistedthenuisanceuponhishunters. Afterasleeplessnight,Iaroseweakandinagony,tohobblethroughmyseconddayontheGhost. ThomasMugridgeroutedmeoutathalf-pastfive,muchinthefashionthatBillSykesmusthaveroutedouthisdog;butMr.Mugridge’sbrutalitytomewaspaidbackinkindandwithinterest. Theunnecessarynoisehemade(Ihadlainwide-eyedthewholenight)musthaveawakenedoneofthehunters;foraheavyshoewhizzedthroughthesemi-darkness,andMr.Mugridge,withasharphowlofpain,humblybeggedeverybody’spardon. Lateron,inthegalley,Inoticedthathisearwasbruisedandswollen. Itneverwententirelybacktoitsnormalshape,andwascalleda“cauliflowerear”bythesailors. Thedaywasfilledwithmiserablevariety. Ihadtakenmydriedclothesdownfromthegalleythenightbefore,andthefirstthingIdidwastoexchangethecook’sgarmentsforthem.Ilookedformypurse. Inadditiontosomesmallchange(andIhaveagoodmemoryforsuchthings),ithadcontainedonehundredandeighty-fivedollarsingoldandpaper. ThepurseIfound,butitscontents,withtheexceptionofthesmallsilver,hadbeenabstracted. Ispoketothecookaboutit,whenIwentondecktotakeupmydutiesinthegalley,andthoughIhadlookedforwardtoasurlyanswer,IhadnotexpectedthebelligerentharanguethatIreceived. “Look’ere,’Ump,”hebegan,amaliciouslightinhiseyesandasnarlinhisthroat;“d’yewantyernosepunched? IfyouthinkI’mathief,justkeepittoyerself,oryou’llfind’owbloodywellmistykenyouare. Strikemeblindifthisayn’tgratitudeforyer!’ Ereyoucome,aporemis’rablespecimenof’umanscum,an’Itykesyerintomygalleyan’treatsyer’ansom,an’thisiswotIgetforit. Nex’timeyoucangoto’ell,sayI,an’I’veagoodmindtogiveyouwhat-foranyw’y.” Sosaying,heputuphisfistsandstartedforme. Tomyshamebeit,Icoweredawayfromtheblowandranoutthegalleydoor.WhatelsewasItodo? Force,nothingbutforce,obtainedonthisbrute-ship.Moralsuasionwasathingunknown. Pictureittoyourself:amanofordinarystature,slenderofbuild,andwithweak,undevelopedmuscles,whohaslivedapeaceful,placidlife,andisunusedtoviolenceofanysort—whatcouldsuchamanpossiblydo? TherewasnomorereasonthatIshouldstandandfacethesehumanbeaststhanthatIshouldstandandfaceaninfuriatedbull. SoIthoughtitoutatthetime,feelingtheneedforvindicationanddesiringtobeatpeacewithmyconscience.Butthisvindicationdidnotsatisfy. Nor,tothisdaycanIpermitmymanhoodtolookbackuponthoseeventsandfeelentirelyexonerated. Thesituationwassomethingthatreallyexceededrationalformulasforconductanddemandedmorethanthecoldconclusionsofreason. Whenviewedinthelightofformallogic,thereisnotonethingofwhichtobeashamed;butneverthelessashameriseswithinmeattherecollection,andintheprideofmymanhoodIfeelthatmymanhoodhasinunaccountablewaysbeensmirchedandsullied. Allofwhichisneitherherenorthere.ThespeedwithwhichIranfromthegalleycausedexcruciatingpaininmyknee,andIsankdownhelplesslyatthebreakofthepoop.ButtheCockneyhadnotpursuedme. “Lookat’imrun!Lookat’imrun!”Icouldhearhimcrying.“An’withagymelegatthat!Comeonback,youporelittlemamma’sdarling.Iwon’t’ityer;no,Iwon’t.” Icamebackandwentonwithmywork;andheretheepisodeendedforthetime,thoughfurtherdevelopmentswereyettotakeplace. Isetthebreakfast-tableinthecabin,andatseveno’clockwaitedonthehuntersandofficers. Thestormhadevidentlybrokenduringthenight,thoughahugeseawasstillrunningandastiffwindblowing. Sailhadbeenmadeintheearlywatches,sothattheGhostwasracingalongundereverythingexceptthetwotopsailsandtheflyingjib. Thesethreesails,Igatheredfromtheconversation,weretobesetimmediatelyafterbreakfast. Ilearned,also,thatWolfLarsenwasanxioustomakethemostofthestorm,whichwasdrivinghimtothesouth-westintothatportionoftheseawhereheexpectedtopickupwiththenorth-easttrades. ItwasbeforethissteadywindthathehopedtomakethemajorportionoftheruntoJapan,curvingsouthintothetropicsandnorthagainasheapproachedthecoastofAsia. AfterbreakfastIhadanotherunenviableexperience. WhenIhadfinishedwashingthedishes,Icleanedthecabinstoveandcarriedtheashesupondecktoemptythem. WolfLarsenandHendersonwerestandingnearthewheel,deepinconversation.Thesailor,Johnson,wassteering. AsIstartedtowardtheweathersideIsawhimmakeasuddenmotionwithhishead,whichImistookforatokenofrecognitionandgood-morning. Inreality,hewasattemptingtowarnmetothrowmyashesovertheleeside. Unconsciousofmyblunder,IpassedbyWolfLarsenandthehunterandflungtheashesoverthesidetowindward. Thewinddrovethemback,andnotonlyoverme,butoverHendersonandWolfLarsen. Thenextinstantthelatterkickedme,violently,asacuriskicked. Ihadnotrealizedtherecouldbesomuchpaininakick. Ireeledawayfromhimandleanedagainstthecabininahalf-faintingcondition. Everythingwasswimmingbeforemyeyes,andIturnedsick. Thenauseaoverpoweredme,andImanagedtocrawltothesideofthevessel.ButWolfLarsendidnotfollowmeup. Brushingtheashesfromhisclothes,hehadresumedhisconversationwithHenderson. Johansen,whohadseentheaffairfromthebreakofthepoop,sentacoupleofsailorsafttocleanupthemess. LaterinthemorningIreceivedasurpriseofatotallydifferentsort. Followingthecook’sinstructions,IhadgoneintoWolfLarsen’sstate-roomtoputittorightsandmakethebed. Againstthewall,neartheheadofthebunk,wasarackfilledwithbooks. Iglancedoverthem,notingwithastonishmentsuchnamesasShakespeare,Tennyson,Poe,andDeQuincey. Therewerescientificworks,too,amongwhichwererepresentedmensuchasTyndall,Proctor,andDarwin. Astronomyandphysicswererepresented,andIremarkedBulfinch’sAgeofFable,Shaw’sHistoryofEnglishandAmericanLiterature,andJohnson’sNaturalHistoryintwolargevolumes. Thentherewereanumberofgrammars,suchasMetcalf’s,andReedandKellogg’s;andIsmiledasIsawacopyofTheDean’sEnglish. IcouldnotreconcilethesebookswiththemanfromwhatIhadseenofhim,andIwonderedifhecouldpossiblyreadthem. ButwhenIcametomakethebedIfound,betweentheblankets,droppedapparentlyashehadsunkofftosleep,acompleteBrowning,theCambridgeEdition. Itwasopenat“InaBalcony,”andInoticed,hereandthere,passagesunderlinedinpencil. Further,lettingdropthevolumeduringalurchoftheship,asheetofpaperfellout. Itwasscrawledoverwithgeometricaldiagramsandcalculationsofsomesort. Itwaspatentthatthisterriblemanwasnoignorantclod,suchasonewouldinevitablysupposehimtobefromhisexhibitionsofbrutality.Atoncehebecameanenigma. Onesideortheotherofhisnaturewasperfectlycomprehensible;butbothsidestogetherwerebewildering. Ihadalreadyremarkedthathislanguagewasexcellent,marredwithanoccasionalslightinaccuracy. Ofcourse,incommonspeechwiththesailorsandhunters,itsometimesfairlybristledwitherrors,whichwasduetothevernacularitself;butinthefewwordshehadheldwithmeithadbeenclearandcorrect. ThisglimpseIhadcaughtofhisothersidemusthaveemboldenedme,forIresolvedtospeaktohimaboutthemoneyIhadlost. “Ihavebeenrobbed,”Isaidtohim,alittlelater,whenIfoundhimpacingupanddownthepoopalone. “Sir,”hecorrected,notharshly,butsternly. “Ihavebeenrobbed,sir,”Iamended. “Howdidithappen?”heasked. ThenItoldhimthewholecircumstance,howmyclotheshadbeenlefttodryinthegalley,andhow,later,IwasnearlybeatenbythecookwhenImentionedthematter. Hesmiledatmyrecital.“Pickings,”heconcluded;“Cooky’spickings. Anddon’tyouthinkyourmiserablelifeworththeprice?Besides,consideritalesson. You’lllearnintimehowtotakecareofyourmoneyforyourself. Isuppose,uptonow,yourlawyerhasdoneitforyou,oryourbusinessagent.” Icouldfeelthequietsneerthroughhiswords,butdemanded,“HowcanIgetitbackagain?” “That’syourlook-out.Youhaven’tanylawyerorbusinessagentnow,soyou’llhavetodependonyourself.Whenyougetadollar,hangontoit. Amanwholeaveshismoneylyingaround,thewayyoudid,deservestoloseit.Besides,youhavesinned. Youhavenorighttoputtemptationinthewayofyourfellow-creatures.YoutemptedCooky,andhefell. Youhaveplacedhisimmortalsoulinjeopardy. Bytheway,doyoubelieveintheimmortalsoul?” Hislidsliftedlazilyasheaskedthequestion,anditseemedthatthedeepswereopeningtomeandthatIwasgazingintohissoul.Butitwasanillusion. Farasitmighthaveseemed,nomanhaseverseenveryfarintoWolfLarsen’ssoul,orseenitatall,—ofthisIamconvinced. Itwasaverylonelysoul,Iwastolearn,thatneverunmasked,thoughatraremomentsitplayedatdoingso. “Ireadimmortalityinyoureyes,”Ianswered,droppingthe“sir,”—anexperiment,forIthoughttheintimacyoftheconversationwarrantedit. Hetooknonotice.“Bythat,Itakeit,youseesomethingthatisalive,butthatnecessarilydoesnothavetoliveforever.” “Ireadmorethanthat,”Icontinuedboldly. “Thenyoureadconsciousness.Youreadtheconsciousnessoflifethatitisalive;butstillnofurtheraway,noendlessnessoflife.” Howclearlyhethought,andhowwellheexpressedwhathethought! Fromregardingmecuriously,heturnedhisheadandglancedoutovertheleadenseatowindward. Ableaknesscameintohiseyes,andthelinesofhismouthgrewsevereandharsh.Hewasevidentlyinapessimisticmood. “Thentowhatend?”hedemandedabruptly,turningbacktome.“IfIamimmortal—why?” Ihalted.HowcouldIexplainmyidealismtothisman? HowcouldIputintospeechasomethingfelt,asomethinglikethestrainsofmusicheardinsleep,asomethingthatconvincedyettranscendedutterance? “Whatdoyoubelieve,then?”Icountered. “Ibelievethatlifeisamess,”heansweredpromptly. “Itislikeyeast,aferment,athingthatmovesandmaymoveforaminute,anhour,ayear,orahundredyears,butthatintheendwillceasetomove. Thebigeatthelittlethattheymaycontinuetomove,thestrongeattheweakthattheymayretaintheirstrength. Theluckyeatthemostandmovethelongest,thatisall.Whatdoyoumakeofthosethings?” Heswepthisarminanimpatientgesturetowardanumberofthesailorswhowereworkingonsomekindofropestuffamidships. “Theymove,sodoesthejelly-fishmove. Theymoveinordertoeatinorderthattheymaykeepmoving.Thereyouhaveit. Theylivefortheirbelly’ssake,andthebellyisfortheirsake.It’sacircle;yougetnowhere.Neitherdothey.Intheendtheycometoastandstill.Theymovenomore.Theyaredead.” “Theyhavedreams,”Iinterrupted,“radiant,flashingdreams—” “Ofgrub,”heconcludedsententiously. “Grub.Ofalargerappetiteandmoreluckinsatisfyingit.”Hisvoicesoundedharsh.Therewasnolevityinit. “For,lookyou,theydreamofmakingluckyvoyageswhichwillbringthemmoremoney,ofbecomingthematesofships,offindingfortunes—inshort,ofbeinginabetterpositionforpreyingontheirfellows,ofhavingallnightin,goodgrubandsomebodyelsetodothedirtywork.YouandIarejustlikethem. Thereisnodifference,exceptthatwehaveeatenmoreandbetter.Iameatingthemnow,andyoutoo. ButinthepastyouhaveeatenmorethanIhave. Youhavesleptinsoftbeds,andwornfineclothes,andeatengoodmeals.Whomadethosebeds?andthoseclothes?andthosemeals?Notyou. Younevermadeanythinginyourownsweat. Youliveonanincomewhichyourfatherearned. Youarelikeafrigatebirdswoopingdownupontheboobiesandrobbingthemofthefishtheyhavecaught. Youareonewithacrowdofmenwhohavemadewhattheycallagovernment,whoaremastersofalltheothermen,andwhoeatthefoodtheothermengetandwouldliketoeatthemselves.Youwearthewarmclothes. Theymadetheclothes,buttheyshiverinragsandaskyou,thelawyer,orbusinessagentwhohandlesyourmoney,forajob.” “Butthatisbesidethematter,”Icried. “Notatall.”Hewasspeakingrapidlynow,andhiseyeswereflashing.“Itispiggishness,anditislife. Ofwhatuseorsenseisanimmortalityofpiggishness?Whatistheend?Whatisitallabout?Youhavemadenofood. Yetthefoodyouhaveeatenorwastedmighthavesavedthelivesofascoreofwretcheswhomadethefoodbutdidnoteatit.Whatimmortalenddidyouserve?ordidthey?Consideryourselfandme. Whatdoesyourboastedimmortalityamounttowhenyourliferunsfoulofmine? Youwouldliketogobacktotheland,whichisafavourableplaceforyourkindofpiggishness. Itisawhimofminetokeepyouaboardthisship,wheremypiggishnessflourishes.AndkeepyouIwill.Imaymakeorbreakyou. Youmaydieto-day,thisweek,ornextmonth. Icouldkillyounow,withablowofmyfist,foryouareamiserableweakling. Butifweareimmortal,whatisthereasonforthis? TobepiggishasyouandIhavebeenallourlivesdoesnotseemtobejustthethingforimmortalstobedoing.Again,what’sitallabout?WhyhaveIkeptyouhere?—” “Becauseyouarestronger,”Imanagedtoblurtout. “Butwhystronger?”hewentonatoncewithhisperpetualqueries.“BecauseIamabiggerbitofthefermentthanyou?Don’tyousee?Don’tyousee?” “Butthehopelessnessofit,”Iprotested. “Iagreewithyou,”heanswered.“Thenwhymoveatall,sincemovingisliving? Withoutmovingandbeingpartoftheyeasttherewouldbenohopelessness. But,—andthereitis,—wewanttoliveandmove,thoughwehavenoreasonto,becauseithappensthatitisthenatureoflifetoliveandmove,towanttoliveandmove. Ifitwerenotforthis,lifewouldbedead. Itisbecauseofthislifethatisinyouthatyoudreamofyourimmortality. Thelifethatisinyouisaliveandwantstogoonbeingaliveforever.Bah!Aneternityofpiggishness!” Heabruptlyturnedonhisheelandstartedforward.Hestoppedatthebreakofthepoopandcalledmetohim. “Bytheway,howmuchwasitthatCookygotawaywith?”heasked. “Onehundredandeighty-fivedollars,sir,”Ianswered. Henoddedhishead.Amomentlater,asIstarteddownthecompanionstairstolaythetablefordinner,Iheardhimloudlycursingsomemenamidships. 
