Idonot,ofcourse,meanthattherearenotbattles,conspiracies,tumults,factions,andallthoseotherphenomenawhicharesupposedtomakeHistoryinteresting;norwouldIdenythatthestrangemixtureoftheproblemsoflifeandtheproblemsofMathematics,continuallyinducingconjectureandgivinganopportunityofimmediateverification,impartstoourexistenceazestwhichyouinSpacelandcanhardlycomprehend.
IspeaknowfromtheaestheticandartisticpointofviewwhenIsaythatlifewithusisdull;aestheticallyandartistically,verydullindeed.
Howcanitbeotherwise,whenallone'sprospect,allone'slandscapes,historicalpieces,portraits,flowers,stilllife,arenothingbutasingleline,withnovarietiesexceptdegreesofbrightnessandobscurity?
Itwasnotalwaysthus.Colour,ifTraditionspeaksthetruth,onceforthespaceofhalfadozencenturiesormore,threwatransientsplendouroverthelivesofourancestorsintheremotestages.
Someprivateindividual—aPentagonwhosenameisvariouslyreported—havingcasuallydiscoveredtheconstituentsofthesimplercoloursandarudimentarymethodofpainting,issaidtohavebegunbydecoratingfirsthishouse,thenhisslaves,thenhisFather,hisSons,andGrandsons,lastlyhimself.
WhereverChromatistes,—forbythatnamethemosttrustworthyauthoritiesconcurincallinghim,—turnedhisvariegatedframe,thereheatonceexcitedattention,andattractedrespect.
Noonenowneededto"feel"him;noonemistookhisfrontforhisback;allhismovementswerereadilyascertainedbyhisneighbourswithouttheslighteststrainontheirpowersofcalculation;noonejostledhim,orfailedtomakewayforhim;hisvoicewassavedthelabourofthatexhaustingutterancebywhichwecolourlessSquaresandPentagonsareoftenforcedtoproclaimourindividualitywhenwemoveamidacrowdofignorantIsosceles.
Thefashionspreadlikewildfire.Beforeaweekwasover,everySquareandTriangleinthedistricthadcopiedtheexampleofChromatistes,andonlyafewofthemoreconservativePentagonsstillheldout.
Needlesstosay,thecustomsoonmadeitswayfromthedistrictofChromatistestosurroundingregions;andwithintwogenerationsnooneinallFlatlandwascolourlessexcepttheWomenandthePriests.
"DistinctionofsidesisintendedbyNaturetoimplydistinctionofcolours"—suchwasthesophismwhichinthosedaysflewfrommouthtomouth,convertingwholetownsatatimetoanewculture.
Theformer—ifatleasttheywouldasserttheirclaimtobereadilyandtrulyCircles,andnotmerehigh-classPolygons,withaninfinitelylargenumberofinfinitesimallysmallsides—wereinthehabitofboasting(whatWomenconfessedanddeplored)thattheyalsohadnosides,beingblessedwithaperimeterofonlyoneline,or,inotherwords,aCircumference.
HenceitcametopassthatthesetwoClassescouldseenoforceintheso-calledaxiomabout"DistinctionofSidesimplyingDistinctionofColour;"andwhenallothershadsuccumbedtothefascinationsofcorporaldecoration,thePriestsandtheWomenalonestillremainedpurefromthepollutionofpaint.
Immoral,licentious,anarchical,unscientific—callthembywhatnamedyouwill—yet,fromanaestheticpointofview,thoseancientdaysoftheColourRevoltwerethegloriouschildhoodofArtinFlatland—achildhood,alas,thatneverripenedintomanhood,norevenreachedtheblossomofyouth.
Evenatasmallparty,thecompanywasapleasuretobehold;therichlyvariedhuesoftheassemblyinachurchortheatrearesaidtohavemorethanonceprovedtoodistractingfromourgreatestteachersandactors;butmostravishingofallissaidtohavebeentheunspeakablemagnificenceofamilitaryreview.
ThesightofalineofbattleoftwentythousandIsoscelessuddenlyfacingabout,andexchangingthesombreblackoftheirbasesfortheorangeofthetwosidesincludingtheiracuteangle;themilitiaoftheEquilateralTrianglestricolouredinred,white,andblue;themauve,ultra-marine,gamboge,andburntumberoftheSquareartillerymenrapidlyrotatingneartheirvermillionguns;thedashingandflashingofthefive-colouredandsix-colouredPentagonsandHexagonscareeringacrossthefieldintheirofficesofsurgeons,geometriciansandaides-de-camp—allthesemaywellhavebeensufficienttorendercrediblethefamousstoryhowanillustriousCircle,overcomebytheartisticbeautyoftheforcesunderhiscommand,threwasidehismarshal'sbatonandhisroyalcrown,exclaimingthathehenceforthexchangedthemfortheartist'spencil.
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