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ThroughoutthepreviouspagesIhavebeenassuming—whatperhapsshouldhavebeenlaiddownatthebeginningasadistinctandfundamentalproposition—thateveryhumanbeinginFlatlandisaRegularFigure,thatistosayofregularconstruction.
BythisImeanthataWomanmustnotonlybealine,butastraightline;thatanArtisanorSoldiermusthavetwoofhissidesequal;thatTradesmenmusthavethreesidesequal;Lawyers(ofwhichclassIamahumblemember),foursidesequal,and,generally,thatineveryPolygon,allthesidesmustbeequal.
Thesizesofthesideswouldofcoursedependupontheageoftheindividual.
AFemaleatbirthwouldbeaboutaninchlong,whileatalladultWomanmightextendtoafoot.
AstotheMalesofeveryclass,itmayberoughlysaidthatthelengthofanadult'ssize,whenaddedtogether,istwofeetoralittlemore.
Butthesizeofoursidesisnotunderconsideration.
Iamspeakingoftheequalityofsides,anditdoesnotneedmuchreflectiontoseethatthewholeofthesociallifeinFlatlandrestsuponthefundamentalfactthatNaturewillsallFigurestohavetheirsidesequal.
Ifoursideswereunequalouranglesmightbeunequal.
Insteadofitsbeingsufficienttofeel,orestimatebysight,asingleangleinordertodeterminetheformofanindividual,itwouldbenecessarytoascertaineachanglebytheexperimentofFeeling.
Butlifewouldbetooshortforsuchatediousgroping.
ThewholescienceandartofSightRecognitionwouldatonceperish;Feeling,sofarasitisanart,wouldnotlongsurvive;intercoursewouldbecomeperilousorimpossible;therewouldbeanendtoallconfidence,allforethought;noonewouldbesafeinmakingthemostsimplesocialarrangements;inaword,civilizationmightrelapseintobarbarism.
AmIgoingtoofasttocarrymyReaderswithmetotheseobviousconclusions?
Surelyamoment'sreflection,andasingleinstancefromcommonlife,mustconvinceeveryonethatoursocialsystemisbaseduponRegularity,orEqualityofAngles.
Youmeet,forexample,twoorthreeTradesmeninthestreet,whomyourrecognizeatoncetobeTradesmanbyaglanceattheiranglesandrapidlybedimmedsides,andyouaskthemtostepintoyourhousetolunch.
Thisyoudoatpresentwithperfectconfidence,becauseeveryoneknowstoaninchortwotheareaoccupiedbyanadultTriangle:butimaginethatyourTradesmandragsbehindhisregularandrespectablevertex,aparallelogramoftwelveorthirteeninchesindiagonal:—whatareyoutodowithsuchamonsterstickingfastinyourhousedoor?
ButIaminsultingtheintelligenceofmyReadersbyaccumulatingdetailswhichmustbepatenttoeveryonewhoenjoystheadvantagesofaResidenceinSpaceland.
Obviouslythemeasurementsofasingleanglewouldnolongerbesufficientundersuchportentouscircumstances;one'swholelifewouldbetakenupinfeelingorsurveyingtheperimeterofone'sacquaintances.
Alreadythedifficultiesofavoidingacollisioninacrowdareenoughtotaxthesagacityofevenawell-educatedSquare;butifnoonecouldcalculatetheRegularityofasignlefigureinthecompany,allwouldbechaosandconfusion,andtheslightestpanicwouldcauseseriousinjuries,or—iftherehappenedtobeanyWomenorSoldierspresent—perhapsconsiderablelossoflife.
ExpediencythereforeconcurswithNatureinstampingthesealofitsapprovaluponRegularityofconformation:norhastheLawbeenbackwardinsecondingtheirefforts.
"IrregularityofFigure"meanswithusthesameas,ormorethan,acombinationofmoralobliquityandcriminalitywithyou,andistreatedaccordingly.
Therearenotwanting,itistrue,somepromulgatorsofparadoxeswhomaintainthatthereisnonecessaryconnectionbetweengeometricalandmoralIrregularity.
"TheIrregular,"theysay,"isfromhisbirthscoutedbyhisownparents,deridedbyhisbrothersandsisters,neglectedbythedomestics,scornedandsuspectedbysociety,andexcludedfromallpostsofresponsibility,trust,andusefulactivity.
Hiseverymovementisjealouslywatchedbythepolicetillhecomesofageandpresentshimselfforinspection;thenheiseitherdestroyed,ifheisfoundtoexceedthefixedmarginofdeviation,atanuninterestingoccupationforamiserablestipend;obligedtoliveandboardattheoffice,andtotakeevenhisvacationunderclosesupervision;whatwonderthathumannature,eveninthebestandpurest,isembitteredandpervertedbysuchsurroundings!"
Allthisveryplausiblereasoningdoesnotconvinceme,asithasnotconvincedthewisestofourStatesmen,thatourancestorserredinlayingitdownasanaxiomofpolicythatthetolerationofIrregularityisincompatiblewiththesafetyoftheState.
Doubtless,thelifeofanIrregularishard;buttheinterestsoftheGreaterNumberrequirethatitshallbehard.
IfamanwithatriangularfrontandapolygonalbackwereallowedtoexistandtopropagateastillmoreIrregularposterity,whatwouldbecomeoftheartsoflife?
ArethehousesanddoorsandchurchesinFlatlandtobealteredinordertoaccommodatesuchmonsters?
Areourticket-collectorstoberequiredtomeasureeveryman'sperimeterbeforetheyallowhimtoenteratheatre,ortotakehisplaceinalectureroom?
IsanIrregulartobeexemptedfromthemilitia?
Andifnot,howishetobepreventedfromcarryingdesolationintotheranksofhiscomrades?
Again,whatirresistibletemptationstofraudulentimposturesmustneedsbesetsuchacreature!
Howeasyforhimtoenterashopwithhispolygonalfrontforemost,andtoordergoodstoanyextentfromaconfidingtradesman!
LettheadvocatesofafalselycalledPhilanthropypleadastheymayfortheabrogationoftheIrregularPenalLaws,IformyparthaveneverknownanIrregularwhowasnotalsowhatNatureevidentlyintendedhimtobe—ahypocrite,amisanthropist,and,uptothelimitsofhispower,aperpetratorofallmannerofmischief.
NotthatIshouldbedisposedtorecommend(atpresent)theextrememeasuresadoptedbysomeStates,whereaninfantwhoseangledeviatesbyhalfadegreefromthecorrectangularityissummarilydestroyedatbirth.
Someofourhighestandablestmen,menofrealgenius,haveduringtheirearliestdayslabouredunderdeviationsasgreatas,orevengreaterthanforty-fiveminutes:andthelossoftheirpreciousliveswouldhavebeenanirreparableinjurytotheState.
Theartofhealingalsohasachievedsomeofitsmostglorioustriumphsinthecompressions,extensions,trepannings,colligations,andothersurgicalordiaeteticoperationsbywhichIrregularityhasbeenpartlyorwhollycured.
AdvocatingthereforeaViaMedia,Iwouldlaydownnofixedorabsolutelineofdemarcation;butattheperiodwhentheframeisjustbeginningtoset,andwhentheMedicalBoardhasreportedthatrecoveryisimprobable,IwouldsuggestthattheIrregularoffspringbepainlesslyandmercifullyconsumed.
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