English
ArcherhadbeenstunnedbyoldCatherine'snews.
ItwasonlynaturalthatMadameOlenskashouldhavehastenedfromWashingtoninresponsetohergrandmother'ssummons;butthatsheshouldhavedecidedtoremainunderherroof—especiallynowthatMrs.Mingotthadalmostregainedherhealth—waslesseasytoexplain.
ArcherwassurethatMadameOlenska'sdecisionhadnotbeeninfluencedbythechangeinherfinancialsituation.
Heknewtheexactfigureofthesmallincomewhichherhusbandhadallowedherattheirseparation.
Withouttheadditionofhergrandmother'sallowanceitwashardlyenoughtoliveon,inanysenseknowntotheMingottvocabulary;andnowthatMedoraManson,whosharedherlife,hadbeenruined,suchapittancewouldbarelykeepthetwowomenclothedandfed.
YetArcherwasconvincedthatMadameOlenskahadnotacceptedhergrandmother'sofferfrominterestedmotives.
Shehadtheheedlessgenerosityandthespasmodicextravaganceofpersonsusedtolargefortunes,andindifferenttomoney;butshecouldgowithoutmanythingswhichherrelationsconsideredindispensable,andMrs.LovellMingottandMrs.WellandhadoftenbeenheardtodeplorethatanyonewhohadenjoyedthecosmopolitanluxuriesofCountOlenski'sestablishmentsshouldcaresolittleabout"howthingsweredone."
Moreover,asArcherknew,severalmonthshadpassedsinceherallowancehadbeencutoff;yetintheintervalshehadmadenoefforttoregainhergrandmother'sfavour.
Thereforeifshehadchangedhercourseitmustbeforadifferentreason.
Hedidnothavefartoseekforthatreason.
Onthewayfromtheferryshehadtoldhimthatheandshemustremainapart;butshehadsaiditwithherheadonhisbreast.
Heknewthattherewasnocalculatedcoquetryinherwords;shewasfightingherfateashehadfoughthis,andclingingdesperatelytoherresolvethattheyshouldnotbreakfaithwiththepeoplewhotrustedthem.
ButduringthetendayswhichhadelapsedsinceherreturntoNewYorkshehadperhapsguessedfromhissilence,andfromthefactofhismakingnoattempttoseeher,thathewasmeditatingadecisivestep,astepfromwhichtherewasnoturningback.
Atthethought,asuddenfearofherownweaknessmighthaveseizedher,andshemighthavefeltthat,afterall,itwasbettertoacceptthecompromiseusualinsuchcases,andfollowthelineofleastresistance.
Anhourearlier,whenhehadrungMrs.Mingott'sbell,Archerhadfanciedthathispathwasclearbeforehim.
HehadmeanttohaveawordalonewithMadameOlenska,andfailingthat,tolearnfromhergrandmotheronwhatday,andbywhichtrain,shewasreturningtoWashington.
Inthattrainheintendedtojoinher,andtravelwithhertoWashington,orasmuchfartherasshewaswillingtogo.HisownfancyinclinedtoJapan.
Atanyrateshewouldunderstandatoncethat,wherevershewent,hewasgoing.
HemeanttoleaveanoteforMaythatshouldcutoffanyotheralternative.
Hehadfanciedhimselfnotonlynervedforthisplungebuteagertotakeit;yethisfirstfeelingonhearingthatthecourseofeventswaschangedhadbeenoneofrelief.
Now,however,ashewalkedhomefromMrs.Mingott's,hewasconsciousofagrowingdistasteforwhatlaybeforehim.
Therewasnothingunknownorunfamiliarinthepathhewaspresumablytotread;butwhenhehadtroddenitbeforeitwasasafreeman,whowasaccountabletonooneforhisactions,andcouldlendhimselfwithanamuseddetachmenttothegameofprecautionsandprevarications,concealmentsandcompliances,thatthepartrequired.
Thisprocedurewascalled"protectingawoman'shonour";andthebestfiction,combinedwiththeafter–dinnertalkofhiselders,hadlongsinceinitiatedhimintoeverydetailofitscode.
Nowhesawthematterinanewlight,andhispartinitseemedsingularlydiminished.
Itwas,infact,thatwhich,withasecretfatuity,hehadwatchedMrs.ThorleyRushworthplaytowardafondandunperceivinghusband:asmiling,bantering,humouring,watchfulandincessantlie.
Aliebyday,aliebynight,alieineverytouchandeverylook;alieineverycaressandeveryquarrel;alieineverywordandineverysilence.
Itwaseasier,andlessdastardlyonthewhole,forawifetoplaysuchaparttowardherhusband.
Awoman'sstandardoftruthfulnesswastacitlyheldtobelower:shewasthesubjectcreature,andversedintheartsoftheenslaved.
Thenshecouldalwayspleadmoodsandnerves,andtherightnottobeheldtoostrictlytoaccount;andeveninthemoststrait–lacedsocietiesthelaughwasalwaysagainstthehusband.
ButinArcher'slittleworldnoonelaughedatawifedeceived,andacertainmeasureofcontemptwasattachedtomenwhocontinuedtheirphilanderingaftermarriage.
Intherotationofcropstherewasarecognisedseasonforwildoats;buttheywerenottobesownmorethanonce.
Archerhadalwayssharedthisview:inhishearthethoughtLeffertsdespicable.
ButtoloveEllenOlenskawasnottobecomeamanlikeLefferts:forthefirsttimeArcherfoundhimselffacetofacewiththedreadargumentoftheindividualcase.
EllenOlenskawaslikenootherwoman,hewaslikenootherman:theirsituation,therefore,resemblednooneelse's,andtheywereanswerabletonotribunalbutthatoftheirownjudgment.
Yes,butintenminutesmorehewouldbemountinghisowndoorstep;andtherewereMay,andhabit,andhonour,andalltheolddecenciesthatheandhispeoplehadalwaysbelievedin...
Athiscornerhehesitated,andthenwalkedondownFifthAvenue.
Aheadofhim,inthewinternight,loomedabigunlithouse.
Ashedrewnearhethoughthowoftenhehadseenitblazingwithlights,itsstepsawningedandcarpeted,andcarriageswaitingindoublelinetodrawupatthecurbstone.
Itwasintheconservatorythatstretcheditsdead–blackbulkdownthesidestreetthathehadtakenhisfirstkissfromMay;itwasunderthemyriadcandlesoftheball–roomthathehadseenherappear,tallandsilver–shiningasayoungDiana.
Nowthehousewasasdarkasthegrave,exceptforafaintflareofgasinthebasement,andalightinoneupstairsroomwheretheblindhadnotbeenlowered.
AsArcherreachedthecornerhesawthatthecarriagestandingatthedoorwasMrs.MansonMingott's.
WhatanopportunityforSillertonJackson,ifheshouldchancetopass!
ArcherhadbeengreatlymovedbyoldCatherine'saccountofMadameOlenska'sattitudetowardMrs.Beaufort;itmadetherighteousreprobationofNewYorkseemlikeapassingbyontheotherside.
Butheknewwellenoughwhatconstructiontheclubsanddrawing–roomswouldputonEllenOlenska'svisitstohercousin.
Hepausedandlookedupatthelightedwindow.
Nodoubtthetwowomenweresittingtogetherinthatroom:Beauforthadprobablysoughtconsolationelsewhere.
TherewereevenrumoursthathehadleftNewYorkwithFannyRing;butMrs.Beaufort'sattitudemadethereportseemimprobable.
ArcherhadthenocturnalperspectiveofFifthAvenuealmosttohimself.
Atthathourmostpeoplewereindoors,dressingfordinner;andhewassecretlygladthatEllen'sexitwaslikelytobeunobserved.
Asthethoughtpassedthroughhismindthedooropened,andshecameout.
Behindherwasafaintlight,suchasmighthavebeencarrieddownthestairstoshowhertheway.
Sheturnedtosayawordtosomeone;thenthedoorclosed,andshecamedownthesteps.
"Ellen,"hesaidinalowvoice,asshereachedthepavement.
Shestoppedwithaslightstart,andjustthenhesawtwoyoungmenoffashionablecutapproaching.
Therewasafamiliarairabouttheirovercoatsandthewaytheirsmartsilkmufflerswerefoldedovertheirwhiteties;andhewonderedhowyouthsoftheirqualityhappenedtobediningoutsoearly.
ThenherememberedthattheReggieChiverses,whosehousewasafewdoorsabove,weretakingalargepartythateveningtoseeAdelaideNeilsoninRomeoandJuliet,andguessedthatthetwowereofthenumber.
Theypassedunderalamp,andherecognisedLawrenceLeffertsandayoungChivers.
AmeandesirenottohaveMadameOlenskaseenattheBeauforts'doorvanishedashefeltthepenetratingwarmthofherhand.
"Ishallseeyounow—weshallbetogether,"hebrokeout,hardlyknowingwhathesaid.
"Ah,"sheanswered,"Grannyhastoldyou?"
WhilehewatchedherhewasawarethatLeffertsandChivers,onreachingthefarthersideofthestreetcorner,haddiscreetlystruckawayacrossFifthAvenue.
Itwasthekindofmasculinesolidaritythathehimselfoftenpractised;nowhesickenedattheirconnivance.
Didshereallyimaginethatheandshecouldlivelikethis?Andifnot,whatelsedidsheimagine?
"TomorrowImustseeyou—somewherewherewecanbealone,"hesaid,inavoicethatsoundedalmostangrytohisownears.
Shewavered,andmovedtowardthecarriage.
"ButIshallbeatGranny's—forthepresentthatis,"sheadded,asifconsciousthatherchangeofplansrequiredsomeexplanation.
"Somewherewherewecanbealone,"heinsisted.
Shegaveafaintlaughthatgratedonhim.
"InNewYork?Buttherearenochurches...nomonuments."
"There'stheArtMuseum—inthePark,"heexplained,asshelookedpuzzled."Athalf–pasttwo.Ishallbeatthedoor..."
Sheturnedawaywithoutansweringandgotquicklyintothecarriage.
Asitdroveoffsheleanedforward,andhethoughtshewavedherhandintheobscurity.
Hestaredafterherinaturmoilofcontradictoryfeelings.
Itseemedtohimthathehadbeenspeakingnottothewomanhelovedbuttoanother,awomanhewasindebtedtoforpleasuresalreadyweariedof:itwashatefultofindhimselftheprisonerofthishackneyedvocabulary.
"She'llcome!"hesaidtohimself,almostcontemptuously.
Avoidingthepopular"Wolfecollection,"whoseanecdoticcanvasesfilledoneofthemaingalleriesofthequeerwildernessofcast–ironandencaustictilesknownastheMetropolitanMuseum,theyhadwandereddownapassagetotheroomwherethe"Cesnolaantiquities"moulderedinunvisitedloneliness.
Theyhadthismelancholyretreattothemselves,andseatedonthedivanenclosingthecentralsteam–radiator,theywerestaringsilentlyattheglasscabinetsmountedinebonisedwoodwhichcontainedtherecoveredfragmentsofIlium.
"It'sodd,"MadameOlenskasaid,"Inevercameherebefore."
"Ah,well—.Someday,Isuppose,itwillbeagreatMuseum."
"Yes,"sheassentedabsently.
Shestoodupandwanderedacrosstheroom.
Archer,remainingseated,watchedthelightmovementsofherfigure,sogirlishevenunderitsheavyfurs,thecleverlyplantedheronwinginherfurcap,andthewayadarkcurllaylikeaflattenedvinespiraloneachcheekabovetheear.
Hismind,asalwayswhentheyfirstmet,waswhollyabsorbedinthedeliciousdetailsthatmadeherherselfandnoother.
Presentlyheroseandapproachedthecasebeforewhichshestood.
Itsglassshelveswerecrowdedwithsmallbrokenobjects—hardlyrecognisabledomesticutensils,ornamentsandpersonaltrifles—madeofglass,ofclay,ofdiscolouredbronzeandothertime–blurredsubstances.
"Itseemscruel,"shesaid,"thatafterawhilenothingmatters...anymorethantheselittlethings,thatusedtobenecessaryandimportanttoforgottenpeople,andnowhavetobeguessedatunderamagnifyingglassandlabelled:'Useunknown.'"
"Yes;butmeanwhile—"
"Ah,meanwhile—"
Asshestoodthere,inherlongsealskincoat,herhandsthrustinasmallroundmuff,herveildrawndownlikeatransparentmasktothetipofhernose,andthebunchofvioletshehadbroughtherstirringwithherquickly–takenbreath,itseemedincrediblethatthispureharmonyoflineandcolourshouldeversufferthestupidlawofchange.
"Meanwhileeverythingmatters—thatconcernsyou,"hesaid.
Shelookedathimthoughtfully,andturnedbacktothedivan.
Hesatdownbesideherandwaited;butsuddenlyheheardastepechoingfaroffdowntheemptyrooms,andfeltthepressureoftheminutes.
"Whatisityouwantedtotellme?"sheasked,asifshehadreceivedthesamewarning.
"WhatIwantedtotellyou?"herejoined."Why,thatIbelieveyoucametoNewYorkbecauseyouwereafraid."
"Afraid?"
"OfmycomingtoWashington."
Shelookeddownathermuff,andhesawherhandsstirinituneasily.
"Well—?"
"Well—yes,"shesaid.
"YouWEREafraid?Youknew—?"
"Yes:Iknew..."
"Well,then?"heinsisted.
"Well,then:thisisbetter,isn'tit?"shereturnedwithalongquestioningsigh.
"Better—?"
"Weshallhurtothersless.Isn'tit,afterall,whatyoualwayswanted?"
"Tohaveyouhere,youmean—inreachandyetoutofreach?Tomeetyouinthisway,onthesly?It'stheveryreverseofwhatIwant.ItoldyoutheotherdaywhatIwanted."
Shehesitated."Andyoustillthinkthis—worse?"
"Athousandtimes!"Hepaused."Itwouldbeeasytolietoyou;butthetruthisIthinkitdetestable."
"Oh,sodoI!"shecriedwithadeepbreathofrelief.
Hesprangupimpatiently."Well,then—it'smyturntoask:whatisit,inGod'sname,thatyouthinkbetter?"
Shehungherheadandcontinuedtoclaspandunclaspherhandsinhermuff.
Thestepdrewnearer,andaguardianinabraidedcapwalkedlistlesslythroughtheroomlikeaghoststalkingthroughanecropolis.
Theyfixedtheireyessimultaneouslyonthecaseoppositethem,andwhentheofficialfigurehadvanisheddownavistaofmummiesandsarcophagiArcherspokeagain.
"Whatdoyouthinkbetter?"
Insteadofansweringshemurmured:"IpromisedGrannytostaywithherbecauseitseemedtomethathereIshouldbesafer."
"Fromme?"
Shebentherheadslightly,withoutlookingathim.
"Saferfromlovingme?"
Herprofiledidnotstir,buthesawatearoverflowonherlashesandhanginameshofherveil.
"Saferfromdoingirreparableharm.Don'tletusbelikealltheothers!"sheprotested.
"Whatothers?Idon'tprofesstobedifferentfrommykind.I'mconsumedbythesamewantsandthesamelongings."
Sheglancedathimwithakindofterror,andhesawafaintcolourstealintohercheeks.
"ShallI—oncecometoyou;andthengohome?"shesuddenlyhazardedinalowclearvoice.
Thebloodrushedtotheyoungman'sforehead."Dearest!"hesaid,withoutmoving.Itseemedasifheheldhisheartinhishands,likeafullcupthattheleastmotionmightoverbrim.
Thenherlastphrasestruckhisearandhisfaceclouded."Gohome?Whatdoyoumeanbygoinghome?"
"Hometomyhusband."
"Andyouexpectmetosayyestothat?"
Sheraisedhertroubledeyestohis."Whatelseisthere?Ican'tstayhereandlietothepeoplewho'vebeengoodtome."
"Butthat'stheveryreasonwhyIaskyoutocomeaway!"
"Anddestroytheirlives,whenthey'vehelpedmetoremakemine?"
Archersprangtohisfeetandstoodlookingdownonherininarticulatedespair.
Itwouldhavebeeneasytosay:"Yes,come;comeonce."
Heknewthepowershewouldputinhishandsifsheconsented;therewouldbenodifficultytheninpersuadinghernottogobacktoherhusband.
Butsomethingsilencedthewordonhislips.
Asortofpassionatehonestyinhermadeitinconceivablethatheshouldtrytodrawherintothatfamiliartrap.
"IfIweretolethercome,"hesaidtohimself,"Ishouldhavetolethergoagain."Andthatwasnottobeimagined.
Buthesawtheshadowofthelashesonherwetcheek,andwavered.
"Afterall,"hebeganagain,"wehavelivesofourown....There'snouseattemptingtheimpossible.
You'resounprejudicedaboutsomethings,soused,asyousay,tolookingattheGorgon,thatIdon'tknowwhyyou'reafraidtofaceourcase,andseeitasitreallyis—unlessyouthinkthesacrificeisnotworthmaking."
Shestoodupalso,herlipstighteningunderarapidfrown.
"Callitthat,then—Imustgo,"shesaid,drawingherlittlewatchfromherbosom.
Sheturnedaway,andhefollowedandcaughtherbythewrist.
"Well,then:cometomeonce,"hesaid,hisheadturningsuddenlyatthethoughtoflosingher;andforasecondortwotheylookedateachotheralmostlikeenemies.
"When?"heinsisted."Tomorrow?"
Shehesitated."Thedayafter."
"Dearest—!"hesaidagain.
Shehaddisengagedherwrist;butforamomenttheycontinuedtoholdeachother'seyes,andhesawthatherface,whichhadgrownverypale,wasfloodedwithadeepinnerradiance.
Hisheartbeatwithawe:hefeltthathehadneverbeforebeheldlovevisible.
"Oh,Ishallbelate—good–bye.No,don'tcomeanyfartherthanthis,"shecried,walkinghurriedlyawaydownthelongroom,asifthereflectedradianceinhiseyeshadfrightenedher.
Whenshereachedthedoorsheturnedforamomenttowaveaquickfarewell.
Archerwalkedhomealone.Darknesswasfallingwhenhelethimselfintohishouse,andhelookedaboutatthefamiliarobjectsinthehallasifheviewedthemfromtheothersideofthegrave.
Theparlour–maid,hearinghisstep,ranupthestairstolightthegasontheupperlanding.
"IsMrs.Archerin?"
"No,sir;Mrs.Archerwentoutinthecarriageafterluncheon,andhasn'tcomeback."
Withasenseofreliefheenteredthelibraryandflunghimselfdowninhisarmchair.
Theparlour–maidfollowed,bringingthestudentlampandshakingsomecoalsontothedyingfire.
Whenshelefthecontinuedtositmotionless,hiselbowsonhisknees,hischinonhisclaspedhands,hiseyesfixedontheredgrate.
Hesattherewithoutconsciousthoughts,withoutsenseofthelapseoftime,inadeepandgraveamazementthatseemedtosuspendliferatherthanquickenit.
"Thiswaswhathadtobe,then...thiswaswhathadtobe,"hekeptrepeatingtohimself,asifhehungintheclutchofdoom.
Whathehaddreamedofhadbeensodifferentthattherewasamortalchillinhisrapture.
ThedooropenedandMaycamein.
"I'mdreadfullylate—youweren'tworried,wereyou?"sheasked,layingherhandonhisshoulderwithoneofherrarecaresses.
Helookedupastonished."Isitlate?"
"Afterseven.Ibelieveyou'vebeenasleep!"Shelaughed,anddrawingoutherhatpinstossedhervelvethatonthesofa.Shelookedpalerthanusual,butsparklingwithanunwontedanimation.
"IwenttoseeGranny,andjustasIwasgoingawayEllencameinfromawalk;soIstayedandhadalongtalkwithher.
Itwasagessincewe'dhadarealtalk...."Shehaddroppedintoherusualarmchair,facinghis,andwasrunningherfingersthroughherrumpledhair.Hefanciedsheexpectedhimtospeak.
"Areallygoodtalk,"shewenton,smilingwithwhatseemedtoArcheranunnaturalvividness.
"Shewassodear—justliketheoldEllen.
I'mafraidIhaven'tbeenfairtoherlately.I'vesometimesthought—"
Archerstoodupandleanedagainstthemantelpiece,outoftheradiusofthelamp.
"Yes,you'vethought—?"heechoedasshepaused.
"Well,perhapsIhaven'tjudgedherfairly.
She'ssodifferent—atleastonthesurface.
Shetakesupsuchoddpeople—sheseemstoliketomakeherselfconspicuous.
Isupposeit'sthelifeshe'sledinthatfastEuropeansociety;nodoubtweseemdreadfullydulltoher.
ButIdon'twanttojudgeherunfairly."
Shepausedagain,alittlebreathlesswiththeunwontedlengthofherspeech,andsatwithherlipsslightlypartedandadeepblushonhercheeks.
Archer,ashelookedather,wasremindedoftheglowwhichhadsuffusedherfaceintheMissionGardenatSt.Augustine.
Hebecameawareofthesameobscureeffortinher,thesamereachingouttowardsomethingbeyondtheusualrangeofhervision.
"ShehatesEllen,"hethought,"andshe'stryingtoovercomethefeeling,andtogetmetohelphertoovercomeit."
Thethoughtmovedhim,andforamomenthewasonthepointofbreakingthesilencebetweenthem,andthrowinghimselfonhermercy.
"Youunderstand,don'tyou,"shewenton,"whythefamilyhavesometimesbeenannoyed?
Wealldidwhatwecouldforheratfirst;butsheneverseemedtounderstand.
AndnowthisideaofgoingtoseeMrs.Beaufort,ofgoingthereinGranny'scarriage!
I'mafraidshe'squitealienatedthevanderLuydens..."
"Ah,"saidArcherwithanimpatientlaugh.Theopendoorhadclosedbetweenthemagain.
"It'stimetodress;we'rediningout,aren'twe?"heasked,movingfromthefire.
Sherosealso,butlingerednearthehearth.
Ashewalkedpasthershemovedforwardimpulsively,asthoughtodetainhim:theireyesmet,andhesawthatherswereofthesameswimmingblueaswhenhehadlefthertodrivetoJerseyCity.
Sheflungherarmsabouthisneckandpressedhercheektohis.
"Youhaven'tkissedmetoday,"shesaidinawhisper;andhefelthertrembleinhisarms.
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