English
ThateveningwhenArchercamedownbeforedinnerhefoundthedrawing–roomempty.
HeandMaywerediningalone,allthefamilyengagementshavingbeenpostponedsinceMrs.MansonMingott'sillness;andasMaywasthemorepunctualofthetwohewassurprisedthatshehadnotprecededhim.
Heknewthatshewasathome,forwhilehedressedhehadheardhermovingaboutinherroom;andhewonderedwhathaddelayedher.
Hehadfallenintothewayofdwellingonsuchconjecturesasameansoftyinghisthoughtsfasttoreality.
Sometimeshefeltasifhehadfoundthecluetohisfather–in–law'sabsorptionintrifles;perhapsevenMr.Welland,longago,hadhadescapesandvisions,andhadconjuredupallthehostsofdomesticitytodefendhimselfagainstthem.
WhenMayappearedhethoughtshelookedtired.
Shehadputonthelow–neckedandtightly–laceddinner–dresswhichtheMingottceremonialexactedonthemostinformaloccasions,andhadbuiltherfairhairintoitsusualaccumulatedcoils;andherface,incontrast,waswanandalmostfaded.
Butsheshoneonhimwithherusualtenderness,andhereyeshadkeptthebluedazzleofthedaybefore.
"Whatbecameofyou,dear?"sheasked."IwaswaitingatGranny's,andEllencamealone,andsaidshehaddroppedyouonthewaybecauseyouhadtorushoffonbusiness.There'snothingwrong?"
"OnlysomelettersI'dforgotten,andwantedtogetoffbeforedinner."
"Ah—"shesaid;andamomentafterward:"I'msorryyoudidn'tcometoGranny's—unlesstheletterswereurgent."
"Theywere,"herejoined,surprisedatherinsistence."Besides,Idon'tseewhyIshouldhavegonetoyourgrandmother's.Ididn'tknowyouwerethere."
Sheturnedandmovedtothelooking–glassabovethemantel–piece.
Asshestoodthere,liftingherlongarmtofastenapuffthathadslippedfromitsplaceinherintricatehair,Archerwasstruckbysomethinglanguidandinelasticinherattitude,andwonderedifthedeadlymonotonyoftheirliveshadlaiditsweightonheralso.
Thenherememberedthat,ashehadleftthehousethatmorning,shehadcalledoverthestairsthatshewouldmeethimathergrandmother'ssothattheymightdrivehometogether.Hehadcalledbackacheery"Yes!"
andthen,absorbedinothervisions,hadforgottenhispromise.
Nowhewassmittenwithcompunction,yetirritatedthatsotriflinganomissionshouldbestoredupagainsthimafternearlytwoyearsofmarriage.
Hewaswearyoflivinginaperpetualtepidhoneymoon,withoutthetemperatureofpassionyetwithallitsexactions.
IfMayhadspokenouthergrievances(hesuspectedherofmany)hemighthavelaughedthemaway;butshewastrainedtoconcealimaginarywoundsunderaSpartansmile.
Todisguisehisownannoyanceheaskedhowhergrandmotherwas,andsheansweredthatMrs.Mingottwasstillimproving,buthadbeenratherdisturbedbythelastnewsabouttheBeauforts.
"Whatnews?"
"Itseemsthey'regoingtostayinNewYork.Ibelievehe'sgoingintoaninsurancebusiness,orsomething.They'relookingaboutforasmallhouse."
Thepreposterousnessofthecasewasbeyonddiscussion,andtheywentintodinner.
Duringdinnertheirtalkmovedinitsusuallimitedcircle;butArchernoticedthathiswifemadenoallusiontoMadameOlenska,nortooldCatherine'sreceptionofher.
Hewasthankfulforthefact,yetfeltittobevaguelyominous.
Theywentuptothelibraryforcoffee,andArcherlitacigarandtookdownavolumeofMichelet.
HehadtakentohistoryintheeveningssinceMayhadshownatendencytoaskhimtoreadaloudwhenevershesawhimwithavolumeofpoetry:notthathedislikedthesoundofhisownvoice,butbecausehecouldalwaysforeseehercommentsonwhatheread.
Inthedaysoftheirengagementshehadsimply(ashenowperceived)echoedwhathetoldher;butsincehehadceasedtoprovideherwithopinionsshehadbeguntohazardherown,withresultsdestructivetohisenjoymentoftheworkscommentedon.
Seeingthathehadchosenhistoryshefetchedherworkbasket,drewupanarm–chairtothegreen–shadedstudentlamp,anduncoveredacushionshewasembroideringforhissofa.
Shewasnotacleverneedle–woman;herlargecapablehandsweremadeforriding,rowingandopen–airactivities;butsinceotherwivesembroideredcushionsfortheirhusbandsshedidnotwishtoomitthislastlinkinherdevotion.
ShewassoplacedthatArcher,bymerelyraisinghiseyes,couldseeherbentaboveherwork–frame,herruffledelbow–sleevesslippingbackfromherfirmroundarms,thebetrothalsapphireshiningonherlefthandaboveherbroadgoldwedding–ring,andtherighthandslowlyandlaboriouslystabbingthecanvas.
Asshesatthus,thelamplightfullonherclearbrow,hesaidtohimselfwithasecretdismaythathewouldalwaysknowthethoughtsbehindit,thatnever,inalltheyearstocome,wouldshesurprisehimbyanunexpectedmood,byanewidea,aweakness,acrueltyoranemotion.
Shehadspentherpoetryandromanceontheirshortcourting:thefunctionwasexhaustedbecausetheneedwaspast.
Nowshewassimplyripeningintoacopyofhermother,andmysteriously,bytheveryprocess,tryingtoturnhimintoaMr.Welland.
Helaiddownhisbookandstoodupimpatiently;andatoncesheraisedherhead.
"What'sthematter?"
"Theroomisstifling:Iwantalittleair."
Hehadinsistedthatthelibrarycurtainsshoulddrawbackwardandforwardonarod,sothattheymightbeclosedintheevening,insteadofremainingnailedtoagiltcornice,andimmovablyloopedupoverlayersoflace,asinthedrawing–room;andhepulledthembackandpushedupthesash,leaningoutintotheicynight.
ThemerefactofnotlookingatMay,seatedbesidehistable,underhislamp,thefactofseeingotherhouses,roofs,chimneys,ofgettingthesenseofotherlivesoutsidehisown,othercitiesbeyondNewYork,andawholeworldbeyondhisworld,clearedhisbrainandmadeiteasiertobreathe.
Afterhehadleanedoutintothedarknessforafewminutesheheardhersay:"Newland!Doshutthewindow.You'llcatchyourdeath."
Hepulledthesashdownandturnedback."Catchmydeath!"heechoed;andhefeltlikeadding:"ButI'vecaughtitalready.IAMdead—I'vebeendeadformonthsandmonths."
Andsuddenlytheplayofthewordflashedupawildsuggestion.WhatifitwereSHEwhowasdead!
Ifsheweregoingtodie—todiesoon—andleavehimfree!
Thesensationofstandingthere,inthatwarmfamiliarroom,andlookingather,andwishingherdead,wassostrange,sofascinatingandovermastering,thatitsenormitydidnotimmediatelystrikehim.
Hesimplyfeltthatchancehadgivenhimanewpossibilitytowhichhissicksoulmightcling.
Yes,Maymightdie—peopledid:youngpeople,healthypeoplelikeherself:shemightdie,andsethimsuddenlyfree.
Sheglancedup,andhesawbyherwideningeyesthattheremustbesomethingstrangeinhisown.
"Newland!Areyouill?"
Heshookhisheadandturnedtowardhisarm–chair.Shebentoverherwork–frame,andashepassedhelaidhishandonherhair."PoorMay!"hesaid.
"Poor?Whypoor?"sheechoedwithastrainedlaugh.
"BecauseIshallneverbeabletoopenawindowwithoutworryingyou,"herejoined,laughingalso.
Foramomentshewassilent;thenshesaidverylow,herheadbowedoverherwork:"Ishallneverworryifyou'rehappy."
"Ah,mydear;andIshallneverbehappyunlessIcanopenthewindows!"
"InTHISweather?"sheremonstrated;andwithasighheburiedhisheadinhisbook.
Sixorsevendayspassed.ArcherheardnothingfromMadameOlenska,andbecameawarethathernamewouldnotbementionedinhispresencebyanymemberofthefamily.
Hedidnottrytoseeher;todosowhileshewasatoldCatherine'sguardedbedsidewouldhavebeenalmostimpossible.
Intheuncertaintyofthesituationhelethimselfdrift,conscious,somewherebelowthesurfaceofhisthoughts,ofaresolvewhichhadcometohimwhenhehadleanedoutfromhislibrarywindowintotheicynight.
Thestrengthofthatresolvemadeiteasytowaitandmakenosign.
ThenonedayMaytoldhimthatMrs.MansonMingotthadaskedtoseehim.
Therewasnothingsurprisingintherequest,fortheoldladywassteadilyrecovering,andshehadalwaysopenlydeclaredthatshepreferredArchertoanyofherothergrandsons–in–law.
Maygavethemessagewithevidentpleasure:shewasproudofoldCatherine'sappreciationofherhusband.
Therewasamoment'spause,andthenArcherfeltitincumbentonhimtosay:"Allright.Shallwegotogetherthisafternoon?"
Hiswife'sfacebrightened,butsheinstantlyanswered:"Oh,you'dmuchbettergoalone.ItboresGrannytoseethesamepeopletoooften."
Archer'sheartwasbeatingviolentlywhenherangoldMrs.Mingott'sbell.
Hehadwantedaboveallthingstogoalone,forhefeltsurethevisitwouldgivehimthechanceofsayingawordinprivatetotheCountessOlenska.
Hehaddeterminedtowaittillthechancepresenteditselfnaturally;andhereitwas,andherehewasonthedoorstep.
Behindthedoor,behindthecurtainsoftheyellowdamaskroomnexttothehall,shewassurelyawaitinghim;inanothermomentheshouldseeher,andbeabletospeaktoherbeforesheledhimtothesick–room.
Hewantedonlytoputonequestion:afterthathiscoursewouldbeclear.WhathewishedtoaskwassimplythedateofherreturntoWashington;andthatquestionshecouldhardlyrefusetoanswer.
Butintheyellowsitting–roomitwasthemulattomaidwhowaited.Herwhiteteethshininglikeakeyboard,shepushedbacktheslidingdoorsandusheredhimintooldCatherine'spresence.
Theoldwomansatinavastthrone–likearm–chairnearherbed.
Besideherwasamahoganystandbearingacastbronzelampwithanengravedglobe,overwhichagreenpapershadehadbeenbalanced.
Therewasnotabookoranewspaperinreach,noranyevidenceoffeminineemployment:conversationhadalwaysbeenMrs.Mingott'ssolepursuit,andshewouldhavescornedtofeignaninterestinfancywork.
Archersawnotraceoftheslightdistortionleftbyherstroke.
Shemerelylookedpaler,withdarkershadowsinthefoldsandrecessesofherobesity;and,intheflutedmob–captiedbyastarchedbowbetweenherfirsttwochins,andthemuslinkerchiefcrossedoverherbillowingpurpledressing–gown,sheseemedlikesomeshrewdandkindlyancestressofherownwhomighthaveyieldedtoofreelytothepleasuresofthetable.
Sheheldoutoneofthelittlehandsthatnestledinahollowofherhugelaplikepetanimals,andcalledtothemaid:"Don'tletinanyoneelse.Ifmydaughterscall,sayI'masleep."
Themaiddisappeared,andtheoldladyturnedtohergrandson.
"Mydear,amIperfectlyhideous?"sheaskedgaily,launchingoutonehandinsearchofthefoldsofmuslinonherinaccessiblebosom.
"Mydaughterstellmeitdoesn'tmatteratmyage—asifhideousnessdidn'tmatterallthemoretheharderitgetstoconceal!"
"Mydear,you'rehandsomerthanever!"Archerrejoinedinthesametone;andshethrewbackherheadandlaughed.
"Ah,butnotashandsomeasEllen!"shejerkedout,twinklingathimmaliciously;andbeforehecouldanswersheadded:"Wasshesoawfullyhandsomethedayyoudroveherupfromtheferry?"
Helaughed,andshecontinued:"Wasitbecauseyoutoldhersothatshehadtoputyououtontheway?
Inmyyouthyoungmendidn'tdesertprettywomenunlesstheyweremadeto!"
Shegaveanotherchuckle,andinterruptedittosayalmostquerulously:"It'sapityshedidn'tmarryyou;Ialwaystoldherso.Itwouldhavesparedmeallthisworry.
Butwhoeverthoughtofsparingtheirgrandmotherworry?"
Archerwonderedifherillnesshadblurredherfaculties;butsuddenlyshebrokeout:"Well,it'ssettled,anyhow:she'sgoingtostaywithme,whatevertherestofthefamilysay!
Shehadn'tbeenherefiveminutesbeforeI'dhavegonedownonmykneestokeepher—ifonly,forthelasttwentyyears,I'dbeenabletoseewherethefloorwas!"
Archerlistenedinsilence,andshewenton:"They'dtalkedmeover,asnodoubtyouknow:persuadedme,Lovell,andLetterblair,andAugustaWelland,andalltherestofthem,thatImustholdoutandcutoffherallowance,tillshewasmadetoseethatitwasherdutytogobacktoOlenski.
Theythoughtthey'dconvincedmewhenthesecretary,orwhateverhewas,cameoutwiththelastproposals:handsomeproposalsIconfesstheywere.
Afterall,marriageismarriage,andmoney'smoney—bothusefulthingsintheirway...andIdidn'tknowwhattoanswer—"Shebrokeoffanddrewalongbreath,asifspeakinghadbecomeaneffort.
"ButtheminuteIlaideyesonher,Isaid:'Yousweetbird,you!Shutyouupinthatcageagain?Never!'
Andnowit'ssettledthatshe'stostayhereandnurseherGrannyaslongasthere'saGrannytonurse.
It'snotagayprospect,butshedoesn'tmind;andofcourseI'vetoldLetterblairthatshe'stobegivenherproperallowance."
Theyoungmanheardherwithveinsaglow;butinhisconfusionofmindhehardlyknewwhetherhernewsbroughtjoyorpain.
Hehadsodefinitelydecidedonthecoursehemeanttopursuethatforthemomenthecouldnotreadjusthisthoughts.
Butgraduallytherestoleoverhimthedelicioussenseofdifficultiesdeferredandopportunitiesmiraculouslyprovided.
IfEllenhadconsentedtocomeandlivewithhergrandmotheritmustsurelybebecauseshehadrecognisedtheimpossibilityofgivinghimup.
Thiswasheranswertohisfinalappealoftheotherday:ifshewouldnottaketheextremestephehadurged,shehadatlastyieldedtohalf–measures.
Hesankbackintothethoughtwiththeinvoluntaryreliefofamanwhohasbeenreadytoriskeverything,andsuddenlytastesthedangeroussweetnessofsecurity.
"Shecouldn'thavegoneback—itwasimpossible!"heexclaimed.
"Ah,mydear,Ialwaysknewyouwereonherside;andthat'swhyIsentforyoutoday,andwhyIsaidtoyourprettywife,whensheproposedtocomewithyou:'No,mydear,I'mpiningtoseeNewland,andIdon'twantanybodytoshareourtransports.'
Foryousee,mydear—"shedrewherheadbackasfarasitstetheringchinspermitted,andlookedhimfullintheeyes—"yousee,weshallhaveafightyet.
Thefamilydon'twantherhere,andthey'llsayit'sbecauseI'vebeenill,becauseI'maweakoldwoman,thatshe'spersuadedme.
I'mnotwellenoughyettofightthemonebyone,andyou'vegottodoitforme."
"I?"hestammered.
"You.Whynot?"
shejerkedbackathim,herroundeyessuddenlyassharpaspen–knives.
Herhandflutteredfromitschair–armandlitonhiswithaclutchoflittlepalenailslikebird–claws."Whynot?"shesearchinglyrepeated.
Archer,undertheexposureofhergaze,hadrecoveredhisself–possession.
"Oh,Idon'tcount—I'mtooinsignificant."
"Well,you'reLetterblair'spartner,ain'tyou?You'vegottogetatthemthroughLetterblair.Unlessyou'vegotareason,"sheinsisted.
"Oh,mydear,Ibackyoutoholdyourownagainstthemallwithoutmyhelp;butyoushallhaveitifyouneedit,"hereassuredher.
"Thenwe'resafe!"shesighed;andsmilingonhimwithallherancientcunningsheadded,asshesettledherheadamongthecushions:"Ialwaysknewyou'dbackusup,becausetheyneverquoteyouwhentheytalkaboutitsbeingherdutytogohome."
Hewincedalittleatherterrifyingperspicacity,andlongedtoask:"AndMay—dotheyquoteher?"Buthejudgeditsafertoturnthequestion.
"AndMadameOlenska?WhenamItoseeher?"hesaid.
Theoldladychuckled,crumpledherlids,andwentthroughthepantomimeofarchness."Nottoday.Oneatatime,please.MadameOlenska'sgoneout."
Heflushedwithdisappointment,andshewenton:"She'sgoneout,mychild:goneinmycarriagetoseeReginaBeaufort."
Shepausedforthisannouncementtoproduceitseffect.
"That'swhatshe'sreducedmetoalready.
Thedayaftershegotheresheputonherbestbonnet,andtoldme,ascoolasacucumber,thatshewasgoingtocallonReginaBeaufort.'Idon'tknowher;whoisshe?'
saysI.'She'syourgrand–niece,andamostunhappywoman,'shesays.
'She'sthewifeofascoundrel,'Ianswered.
'Well,'shesays,'andsoamI,andyetallmyfamilywantmetogobacktohim.'
Well,thatflooredme,andIlethergo;andfinallyonedayshesaiditwasrainingtoohardtogooutonfoot,andshewantedmetolendhermycarriage.'Whatfor?'
Iaskedher;andshesaid:'TogoandseecousinRegina'—COUSIN!
Now,mydear,Ilookedoutofthewindow,andsawitwasn'trainingadrop;butIunderstoodher,andIletherhavethecarriage....Afterall,Regina'sabravewoman,andsoisshe;andI'vealwayslikedcourageaboveeverything."
Archerbentdownandpressedhislipsonthelittlehandthatstilllayonhis.
"Eh—eh—eh!Whosehanddidyouthinkyouwerekissing,youngman—yourwife's,Ihope?"
theoldladysnappedoutwithhermockingcackle;andasherosetogoshecalledoutafterhim:"GiveherherGranny'slove;butyou'dbetternotsayanythingaboutourtalk."
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