English
Hiswife'sdarkbluebrougham(withtheweddingvarnishstillonit)metArcherattheferry,andconveyedhimluxuriouslytothePennsylvaniaterminusinJerseyCity.
Itwasasombresnowyafternoon,andthegaslampswerelitinthebigreverberatingstation.
Ashepacedtheplatform,waitingfortheWashingtonexpress,herememberedthattherewerepeoplewhothoughttherewouldonedaybeatunnelundertheHudsonthroughwhichthetrainsofthePennsylvaniarailwaywouldrunstraightintoNewYork.
TheywereofthebrotherhoodofvisionarieswholikewisepredictedthebuildingofshipsthatwouldcrosstheAtlanticinfivedays,theinventionofaflyingmachine,lightingbyelectricity,telephoniccommunicationwithoutwires,andotherArabianNightmarvels.
"Idon'tcarewhichoftheirvisionscomestrue,"Archermused,"aslongasthetunnelisn'tbuiltyet."
InhissenselessschoolboyhappinesshepicturedMadameOlenska'sdescentfromthetrain,hisdiscoveryofheralongwayoff,amongthethrongsofmeaninglessfaces,herclingingtohisarmasheguidedhertothecarriage,theirslowapproachtothewharfamongslippinghorses,ladencarts,vociferatingteamsters,andthenthestartlingquietoftheferryboat,wheretheywouldsitsidebysideunderthesnow,inthemotionlesscarriage,whiletheearthseemedtoglideawayunderthem,rollingtotheothersideofthesun.
Itwasincredible,thenumberofthingshehadtosaytoher,andinwhateloquentordertheywereformingthemselvesonhislips...
Theclangingandgroaningofthetraincamenearer,anditstaggeredslowlyintothestationlikeapreyladenmonsterintoitslair.
Archerpushedforward,elbowingthroughthecrowd,andstaringblindlyintowindowafterwindowofthehighhungcarriages.
Andthen,suddenly,hesawMadameOlenska'spaleandsurprisedfacecloseathand,andhadagainthemortifiedsensationofhavingforgottenwhatshelookedlike.
Theyreachedeachother,theirhandsmet,andhedrewherarmthroughhis."ThiswayIhavethecarriage,"hesaid.
Afterthatitallhappenedashehaddreamed.
Hehelpedherintothebroughamwithherbags,andhadafterwardthevaguerecollectionofhavingproperlyreassuredherabouthergrandmotherandgivenherasummaryoftheBeaufortsituation(hewasstruckbythesoftnessofher:"PoorRegina!").
Meanwhilethecarriagehadworkeditswayoutofthecoilaboutthestation,andtheywerecrawlingdowntheslipperyinclinetothewharf,menacedbyswayingcoalcarts,bewilderedhorses,dishevelledexpresswagons,andanemptyhearseah,thathearse!
Sheshuthereyesasitpassed,andclutchedatArcher'shand.
"Ifonlyitdoesn'tmeanpoorGranny!"
"Oh,no,noshe'smuchbettershe'sallright,really.Therewe'vepassedit!"
heexclaimed,asifthatmadeallthedifference.
Herhandremainedinhis,andasthecarriagelurchedacrossthegangplankontotheferryhebentover,unbuttonedhertightbrownglove,andkissedherpalmasifhehadkissedarelic.
Shedisengagedherselfwithafaintsmile,andhesaid:"Youdidn'texpectmetoday?"
"Oh,no."
"ImeanttogotoWashingtontoseeyou.I'dmadeallmyarrangementsIverynearlycrossedyouinthetrain."
"Oh"sheexclaimed,asifterrifiedbythenarrownessoftheirescape.
"DoyouknowIhardlyrememberedyou?"
"Hardlyrememberedme?"
"Imean:howshallIexplain?Iit'salwaysso.EACHTIMEYOUHAPPENTOMEALLOVERAGAIN."
"Oh,yes:Iknow!Iknow!"
"DoesitdoItoo:toyou?"heinsisted.
Shenodded,lookingoutofthewindow.
"EllenEllenEllen!"
Shemadenoanswer,andhesatinsilence,watchingherprofilegrowindistinctagainstthesnowstreakedduskbeyondthewindow.
Whathadshebeendoinginallthosefourlongmonths,hewondered?
Howlittletheyknewofeachother,afterall!
Thepreciousmomentswereslippingaway,buthehadforgotteneverythingthathehadmeanttosaytoherandcouldonlyhelplesslybroodonthemysteryoftheirremotenessandtheirproximity,whichseemedtobesymbolisedbythefactoftheirsittingsoclosetoeachother,andyetbeingunabletoseeeachother'sfaces.
"Whataprettycarriage!IsitMay's?"sheasked,suddenlyturningherfacefromthewindow.
"Yes."
"ItwasMaywhosentyoutofetchme,then?Howkindofher!"
Hemadenoanswerforamoment;thenhesaidexplosively:"Yourhusband'ssecretarycametoseemethedayafterwemetinBoston."
InhisbrieflettertoherhehadmadenoallusiontoM.Riviere'svisit,andhisintentionhadbeentoburytheincidentinhisbosom.
Butherreminderthattheywereinhiswife'scarriageprovokedhimtoanimpulseofretaliation.
HewouldseeifshelikedhisreferencetoRiviereanybetterthanhelikedherstoMay!
Asoncertainotheroccasionswhenhehadexpectedtoshakeheroutofherusualcomposure,shebetrayednosignofsurprise:andatonceheconcluded:"Hewritestoher,then."
"M.Rivierewenttoseeyou?"
"Yes:didn'tyouknow?"
"No,"sheansweredsimply.
"Andyou'renotsurprised?"
Shehesitated."WhyshouldIbe?HetoldmeinBostonthatheknewyou;thathe'dmetyouinEnglandIthink."
"EllenImustaskyouonething."
"Yes."
"IwantedtoaskitafterIsawhim,butIcouldn'tputitinaletter.ItwasRivierewhohelpedyoutogetawaywhenyouleftyourhusband?"
Hisheartwasbeatingsuffocatingly.Wouldshemeetthisquestionwiththesamecomposure?
"Yes:Iowehimagreatdebt,"sheanswered,withouttheleasttremorinherquietvoice.
Hertonewassonatural,soalmostindifferent,thatArcher'sturmoilsubsided.
Oncemoreshehadmanaged,byhersheersimplicity,tomakehimfeelstupidlyconventionaljustwhenhethoughthewasflingingconventiontothewinds.
"Ithinkyou'rethemosthonestwomanIevermet!"heexclaimed.
"Oh,nobutprobablyoneoftheleastfussy,"sheanswered,asmileinhervoice.
"Callitwhatyoulike:youlookatthingsastheyare."
"AhI'vehadto.I'vehadtolookattheGorgon."
"Wellithasn'tblindedyou!You'veseenthatshe'sjustanoldbogeylikealltheothers."
"Shedoesn'tblindone;butshedriesupone'stears."
TheanswercheckedthepleadingonArcher'slips:itseemedtocomefromdepthsofexperiencebeyondhisreach.
Theslowadvanceoftheferryboathadceased,andherbowsbumpedagainstthepilesoftheslipwithaviolencethatmadethebroughamstagger,andflungArcherandMadameOlenskaagainsteachother.
Theyoungman,trembling,feltthepressureofhershoulder,andpassedhisarmabouther.
"Ifyou'renotblind,then,youmustseethatthiscan'tlast."
"Whatcan't?"
"Ourbeingtogetherandnottogether."
"No.Yououghtnottohavecometoday,"shesaidinanalteredvoice;andsuddenlysheturned,flungherarmsabouthimandpressedherlipstohis.
Atthesamemomentthecarriagebegantomove,andagaslampattheheadoftheslipflasheditslightintothewindow.
Shedrewaway,andtheysatsilentandmotionlesswhilethebroughamstruggledthroughthecongestionofcarriagesabouttheferrylanding.
AstheygainedthestreetArcherbegantospeakhurriedly.
"Don'tbeafraidofme:youneedn'tsqueezeyourselfbackintoyourcornerlikethat.Astolenkissisn'twhatIwant.
Look:I'mnoteventryingtotouchthesleeveofyourjacket.
Don'tsupposethatIdon'tunderstandyourreasonsfornotwantingtoletthisfeelingbetweenusdwindleintoanordinaryholeandcornerloveaffair.
Icouldn'thavespokenlikethisyesterday,becausewhenwe'vebeenapart,andI'mlookingforwardtoseeingyou,everythoughtisburntupinagreatflame.
Butthenyoucome;andyou'resomuchmorethanIremembered,andwhatIwantofyouissomuchmorethananhourortwoeverynowandthen,withwastesofthirstywaitingbetween,thatIcansitperfectlystillbesideyou,likethis,withthatothervisioninmymind,justquietlytrustingtoittocometrue."
Foramomentshemadenoreply;thensheasked,hardlyaboveawhisper:"Whatdoyoumeanbytrustingtoittocometrue?"
"Whyyouknowitwill,don'tyou?"
"Yourvisionofyouandmetogether?"Sheburstintoasuddenhardlaugh."Youchooseyourplacewelltoputittome!"
"Doyoumeanbecausewe'reinmywife'sbrougham?Shallwegetoutandwalk,then?Idon'tsupposeyoumindalittlesnow?"
Shelaughedagain,moregently."No;Ishan'tgetoutandwalk,becausemybusinessistogettoGranny'sasquicklyasIcan.
Andyou'llsitbesideme,andwe'lllook,notatvisions,butatrealities."
"Idon'tknowwhatyoumeanbyrealities.Theonlyrealitytomeisthis."
Shemetthewordswithalongsilence,duringwhichthecarriagerolleddownanobscuresidestreetandthenturnedintothesearchingilluminationofFifthAvenue.
"Isityouridea,then,thatIshouldlivewithyouasyourmistresssinceIcan'tbeyourwife?"sheasked.
Thecrudenessofthequestionstartledhim:thewordwasonethatwomenofhisclassfoughtshyof,evenwhentheirtalkflittedclosestaboutthetopic.
HenoticedthatMadameOlenskapronounceditasifithadarecognisedplaceinhervocabulary,andhewonderedifithadbeenusedfamiliarlyinherpresenceinthehorriblelifeshehadfledfrom.
Herquestionpulledhimupwithajerk,andhefloundered.
"IwantIwantsomehowtogetawaywithyouintoaworldwherewordslikethatcategorieslikethatwon'texist.
Whereweshallbesimplytwohumanbeingswholoveeachother,whoarethewholeoflifetoeachother;andnothingelseonearthwillmatter."
Shedrewadeepsighthatendedinanotherlaugh."Oh,mydearwhereisthatcountry?Haveyoueverbeenthere?"
sheasked;andasheremainedsullenlydumbshewenton:"Iknowsomanywho'vetriedtofindit;and,believeme,theyallgotoutbymistakeatwaysidestations:atplaceslikeBoulogne,orPisa,orMonteCarloanditwasn'tatalldifferentfromtheoldworldthey'dleft,butonlyrathersmalleranddingierandmorepromiscuous."
Hehadneverheardherspeakinsuchatone,andherememberedthephraseshehadusedalittlewhilebefore.
"Yes,theGorgonHASdriedyourtears,"hesaid.
"Well,sheopenedmyeyestoo;it'sadelusiontosaythatsheblindspeople.
Whatshedoesisjustthecontraryshefastenstheireyelidsopen,sothatthey'reneveragainintheblesseddarkness.
Isn'tthereaChinesetorturelikethat?Thereoughttobe.
Ah,believeme,it'samiserablelittlecountry!"
ThecarriagehadcrossedFortysecondStreet:May'ssturdybroughamhorsewascarryingthemnorthwardasifhehadbeenaKentuckytrotter.
Archerchokedwiththesenseofwastedminutesandvainwords.
"Thenwhat,exactly,isyourplanforus?"heasked.
"ForUS?Butthere'snoUSinthatsense!
We'reneareachotheronlyifwestayfarfromeachother.Thenwecanbeourselves.
Otherwisewe'reonlyNewlandArcher,thehusbandofEllenOlenska'scousin,andEllenOlenska,thecousinofNewlandArcher'swife,tryingtobehappybehindthebacksofthepeoplewhotrustthem."
"Ah,I'mbeyondthat,"hegroaned.
"No,you'renot!You'veneverbeenbeyond.AndIhave,"shesaid,inastrangevoice,"andIknowwhatitlookslikethere."
Hesatsilent,dazedwithinarticulatepain.
Thenhegropedinthedarknessofthecarriageforthelittlebellthatsignalledorderstothecoachman.
HerememberedthatMayrangtwicewhenshewishedtostop.
Hepressedthebell,andthecarriagedrewupbesidethecurbstone.
"Whyarewestopping?ThisisnotGranny's,"MadameOlenskaexclaimed.
"No:Ishallgetouthere,"hestammered,openingthedoorandjumpingtothepavement.
Bythelightofastreetlamphesawherstartledface,andtheinstinctivemotionshemadetodetainhim.
Heclosedthedoor,andleanedforamomentinthewindow.
"You'reright:Ioughtnottohavecometoday,"hesaid,loweringhisvoicesothatthecoachmanshouldnothear.
Shebentforward,andseemedabouttospeak;buthehadalreadycalledouttheordertodriveon,andthecarriagerolledawaywhilehestoodonthecorner.
Thesnowwasover,andatinglingwindhadsprungup,thatlashedhisfaceashestoodgazing.
Suddenlyhefeltsomethingstiffandcoldonhislashes,andperceivedthathehadbeencrying,andthatthewindhadfrozenhistears.
Hethrusthishandsinhispockets,andwalkedatasharppacedownFifthAvenuetohisownhouse.
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