English
WhenArcherwalkeddownthesandymainstreetofSt.AugustinetothehousewhichhadbeenpointedouttohimasMr.Welland's,andsawMayWellandstandingunderamagnoliawiththesuninherhair,hewonderedwhyhehadwaitedsolongtocome.
Herewasthetruth,herewasreality,herewasthelifethatbelongedtohim;andhe,whofanciedhimselfsoscornfulofarbitraryrestraints,hadbeenafraidtobreakawayfromhisdeskbecauseofwhatpeoplemightthinkofhisstealingaholiday!
Herfirstexclamationwas:"Newland—hasanythinghappened?"
anditoccurredtohimthatitwouldhavebeenmore"feminine"ifshehadinstantlyreadinhiseyeswhyhehadcome.
Butwhenheanswered:"Yes—IfoundIhadtoseeyou,"herhappyblushestookthechillfromhersurprise,andhesawhoweasilyhewouldbeforgiven,andhowsoonevenMr.Letterblair'smilddisapprovalwouldbesmiledawaybyatolerantfamily.
Earlyasitwas,themainstreetwasnoplaceforanybutformalgreetings,andArcherlongedtobealonewithMay,andtopouroutallhistendernessandhisimpatience.
ItstilllackedanhourtothelateWellandbreakfast–time,andinsteadofaskinghimtocomeinsheproposedthattheyshouldwalkouttoanoldorange–gardenbeyondthetown.
Shehadjustbeenforarowontheriver,andthesunthatnettedthelittlewaveswithgoldseemedtohavecaughtherinitsmeshes.
Acrossthewarmbrownofhercheekherblownhairglitteredlikesilverwire;andhereyestoolookedlighter,almostpaleintheiryouthfullimpidity.
AsshewalkedbesideArcherwithherlongswinginggaitherfaceworethevacantserenityofayoungmarbleathlete.
ToArcher'sstrainednervesthevisionwasassoothingasthesightoftheblueskyandthelazyriver.
Theysatdownonabenchundertheorange–treesandheputhisarmaboutherandkissedher.
Itwaslikedrinkingatacoldspringwiththesunonit;buthispressuremayhavebeenmorevehementthanhehadintended,forthebloodrosetoherfaceandshedrewbackasifhehadstartledher.
"Whatisit?"heasked,smiling;andshelookedathimwithsurprise,andanswered:"Nothing."
Aslightembarrassmentfellonthem,andherhandslippedoutofhis.
ItwastheonlytimethathehadkissedheronthelipsexceptfortheirfugitiveembraceintheBeaufortconservatory,andhesawthatshewasdisturbed,andshakenoutofhercoolboyishcomposure.
"Tellmewhatyoudoallday,"hesaid,crossinghisarmsunderhistilted–backhead,andpushinghishatforwardtoscreenthesun–dazzle.
Tolethertalkaboutfamiliarandsimplethingswastheeasiestwayofcarryingonhisownindependenttrainofthought;andhesatlisteningtohersimplechronicleofswimming,sailingandriding,variedbyanoccasionaldanceattheprimitiveinnwhenaman–of–warcamein.
AfewpleasantpeoplefromPhiladelphiaandBaltimorewerepicknickingattheinn,andtheSelfridgeMerryshadcomedownforthreeweeksbecauseKateMerryhadhadbronchitis.
Theywereplanningtolayoutalawntenniscourtonthesands;butnoonebutKateandMayhadracquets,andmostofthepeoplehadnotevenheardofthegame.
Allthiskeptherverybusy,andshehadnothadtimetodomorethanlookatthelittlevellumbookthatArcherhadsenthertheweekbefore(the"SonnetsfromthePortuguese");butshewaslearningbyheart"HowtheybroughttheGoodNewsfromGhenttoAix,"becauseitwasoneofthefirstthingshehadeverreadtoher;anditamusedhertobeabletotellhimthatKateMerryhadneverevenheardofapoetcalledRobertBrowning.
Presentlyshestartedup,exclaimingthattheywouldbelateforbreakfast;andtheyhurriedbacktothetumble–downhousewithitspointlessporchandunprunedhedgeofplumbagoandpinkgeraniumswheretheWellandswereinstalledforthewinter.
Mr.Welland'ssensitivedomesticityshrankfromthediscomfortsoftheslovenlysouthernhotel,andatimmenseexpense,andinfaceofalmostinsuperabledifficulties,Mrs.Wellandwasobliged,yearafteryear,toimproviseanestablishmentpartlymadeupofdiscontentedNewYorkservantsandpartlydrawnfromthelocalAfricansupply.
"Thedoctorswantmyhusbandtofeelthatheisinhisownhome;otherwisehewouldbesowretchedthattheclimatewouldnotdohimanygood,"sheexplained,winterafterwinter,tothesympathisingPhiladelphiansandBaltimoreans;andMr.Welland,beamingacrossabreakfasttablemiraculouslysuppliedwiththemostvarieddelicacies,waspresentlysayingtoArcher:"Yousee,mydearfellow,wecamp—weliterallycamp.
ItellmywifeandMaythatIwanttoteachthemhowtoroughit."
Mr.andMrs.Wellandhadbeenasmuchsurprisedastheirdaughterbytheyoungman'ssuddenarrival;butithadoccurredtohimtoexplainthathehadfelthimselfonthevergeofanastycold,andthisseemedtoMr.Wellandanall–sufficientreasonforabandoninganyduty.
"Youcan'tbetoocareful,especiallytowardspring,"hesaid,heapinghisplatewithstraw–colouredgriddle–cakesanddrowningthemingoldensyrup.
"IfI'donlybeenasprudentatyourageMaywouldhavebeendancingattheAssembliesnow,insteadofspendingherwintersinawildernesswithanoldinvalid."
"Oh,butIloveithere,Papa;youknowIdo.IfonlyNewlandcouldstayIshouldlikeitathousandtimesbetterthanNewYork."
"Newlandmuststaytillhehasquitethrownoffhiscold,"saidMrs.Wellandindulgently;andtheyoungmanlaughed,andsaidhesupposedtherewassuchathingasone'sprofession.
Hemanaged,however,afteranexchangeoftelegramswiththefirm,tomakehiscoldlastaweek;anditshedanironiclightonthesituationtoknowthatMr.Letterblair'sindulgencewaspartlyduetothesatisfactorywayinwhichhisbrilliantyoungjuniorpartnerhadsettledthetroublesomematteroftheOlenskidivorce.
Mr.LetterblairhadletMrs.WellandknowthatMr.Archerhad"renderedaninvaluableservice"tothewholefamily,andthatoldMrs.MansonMingotthadbeenparticularlypleased;andonedaywhenMayhadgoneforadrivewithherfatherintheonlyvehicletheplaceproducedMrs.Wellandtookoccasiontotouchonatopicwhichshealwaysavoidedinherdaughter'spresence.
"I'mafraidEllen'sideasarenotatalllikeours.
ShewasbarelyeighteenwhenMedoraMansontookherbacktoEurope—youremembertheexcitementwhensheappearedinblackathercoming–outball?
AnotherofMedora'sfads—reallythistimeitwasalmostprophetic!
Thatmusthavebeenatleasttwelveyearsago;andsincethenEllenhasneverbeentoAmerica.
NowondersheiscompletelyEuropeanised."
"ButEuropeansocietyisnotgiventodivorce:CountessOlenskathoughtshewouldbeconformingtoAmericanideasinaskingforherfreedom."
ItwasthefirsttimethattheyoungmanhadpronouncedhernamesincehehadleftSkuytercliff,andhefeltthecolourrisetohischeek.
Mrs.Wellandsmiledcompassionately."Thatisjustliketheextraordinarythingsthatforeignersinventaboutus.
Theythinkwedineattwoo'clockandcountenancedivorce!
ThatiswhyitseemstomesofoolishtoentertainthemwhentheycometoNewYork.
Theyacceptourhospitality,andthentheygohomeandrepeatthesamestupidstories."
Archermadenocommentonthis,andMrs.Wellandcontinued:"ButwedomostthoroughlyappreciateyourpersuadingEllentogiveuptheidea.
HergrandmotherandheruncleLovellcoulddonothingwithher;bothofthemhavewrittenthatherchanginghermindwasentirelyduetoyourinfluence—infactshesaidsotohergrandmother.
Shehasanunboundedadmirationforyou.
PoorEllen—shewasalwaysawaywardchild.Iwonderwhatherfatewillbe?"
"Whatwe'veallcontrivedtomakeit,"hefeltlikeanswering.
"Ifyou'dallofyourathersheshouldbeBeaufort'smistressthansomedecentfellow'swifeyou'vecertainlygonetherightwayaboutit."
HewonderedwhatMrs.Wellandwouldhavesaidifhehadutteredthewordsinsteadofmerelythinkingthem.
Hecouldpicturethesuddendecomposureofherfirmplacidfeatures,towhichalifelongmasteryovertrifleshadgivenanairoffactitiousauthority.
Tracesstilllingeredonthemofafreshbeautylikeherdaughter's;andheaskedhimselfifMay'sfacewasdoomedtothickenintothesamemiddle–agedimageofinvincibleinnocence.
Ah,no,hedidnotwantMaytohavethatkindofinnocence,theinnocencethatsealsthemindagainstimaginationandtheheartagainstexperience!
"Iverilybelieve,"Mrs.Wellandcontinued,"thatifthehorriblebusinesshadcomeoutinthenewspapersitwouldhavebeenmyhusband'sdeath–blow.
Idon'tknowanyofthedetails;Ionlyasknotto,asItoldpoorEllenwhenshetriedtotalktomeaboutit.
Havinganinvalidtocarefor,Ihavetokeepmymindbrightandhappy.
ButMr.Wellandwasterriblyupset;hehadaslighttemperatureeverymorningwhilewewerewaitingtohearwhathadbeendecided.
Itwasthehorrorofhisgirl'slearningthatsuchthingswerepossible—butofcourse,dearNewland,youfeltthattoo.
WeallknewthatyouwerethinkingofMay."
"I'malwaysthinkingofMay,"theyoungmanrejoined,risingtocutshorttheconversation.
HehadmeanttoseizetheopportunityofhisprivatetalkwithMrs.Wellandtourgehertoadvancethedateofhismarriage.
Buthecouldthinkofnoargumentsthatwouldmoveher,andwithasenseofreliefhesawMr.WellandandMaydrivinguptothedoor.
HisonlyhopewastopleadagainwithMay,andonthedaybeforehisdeparturehewalkedwithhertotheruinousgardenoftheSpanishMission.
ThebackgroundlentitselftoallusionstoEuropeanscenes;andMay,whowaslookingherloveliestunderawide–brimmedhatthatcastashadowofmysteryoverhertoo–cleareyes,kindledintoeagernessashespokeofGranadaandtheAlhambra.
"Wemightbeseeingitallthisspring—eventheEasterceremoniesatSeville,"heurged,exaggeratinghisdemandsinthehopeofalargerconcession.
"EasterinSeville?AnditwillbeLentnextweek!"shelaughed.
"Whyshouldn'twebemarriedinLent?"herejoined;butshelookedsoshockedthathesawhismistake.
"OfcourseIdidn'tmeanthat,dearest;butsoonafterEaster—sothatwecouldsailattheendofApril.IknowIcouldarrangeitattheoffice."
Shesmileddreamilyuponthepossibility;butheperceivedthattodreamofitsufficedher.
Itwaslikehearinghimreadaloudoutofhispoetrybooksthebeautifulthingsthatcouldnotpossiblyhappeninreallife.
"Oh,dogoon,Newland;Idoloveyourdescriptions."
"Butwhyshouldtheybeonlydescriptions?Whyshouldn'twemakethemreal?"
"Weshall,dearest,ofcourse;nextyear."Hervoicelingeredoverit.
"Don'tyouwantthemtoberealsooner?Can'tIpersuadeyoutobreakawaynow?"
Shebowedherhead,vanishingfromhimunderherconnivinghat–brim.
"Whyshouldwedreamawayanotheryear?Lookatme,dear!Don'tyouunderstandhowIwantyouformywife?"
Foramomentsheremainedmotionless;thensheraisedonhimeyesofsuchdespairingdearnessthathehalf–releasedherwaistfromhishold.
Butsuddenlyherlookchangedanddeepenedinscrutably.
"I'mnotsureifIDOunderstand,"shesaid.
"Isit—isitbecauseyou'renotcertainofcontinuingtocareforme?"
Archersprangupfromhisseat."MyGod—perhaps—Idon'tknow,"hebrokeoutangrily.
MayWellandrosealso;astheyfacedeachothersheseemedtogrowinwomanlystatureanddignity.
Bothweresilentforamoment,asifdismayedbytheunforeseentrendoftheirwords:thenshesaidinalowvoice:"Ifthatisit—istheresomeoneelse?"
"Someoneelse—betweenyouandme?"Heechoedherwordsslowly,asthoughtheywereonlyhalf–intelligibleandhewantedtimetorepeatthequestiontohimself.
Sheseemedtocatchtheuncertaintyofhisvoice,forshewentoninadeepeningtone:"Letustalkfrankly,Newland.
SometimesI'vefeltadifferenceinyou;especiallysinceourengagementhasbeenannounced."
"Dear—whatmadness!"herecoveredhimselftoexclaim.
Shemethisprotestwithafaintsmile."Ifitis,itwon'thurtustotalkaboutit."
Shepaused,andadded,liftingherheadwithoneofhernoblemovements:"Orevenifit'strue:whyshouldn'twespeakofit?
Youmightsoeasilyhavemadeamistake."
Heloweredhishead,staringattheblackleaf–patternonthesunnypathattheirfeet.
"Mistakesarealwayseasytomake;butifIhadmadeoneofthekindyousuggest,isitlikelythatIshouldbeimploringyoutohastenourmarriage?"
Shelookeddownwardtoo,disturbingthepatternwiththepointofhersunshadewhileshestruggledforexpression."Yes,"shesaidatlength.
"Youmightwant—onceforall—tosettlethequestion:it'soneway."
Herquietluciditystartledhim,butdidnotmisleadhimintothinkingherinsensible.
Underherhat–brimhesawthepallorofherprofile,andaslighttremorofthenostrilaboveherresolutelysteadiedlips.
"Well—?"hequestioned,sittingdownonthebench,andlookingupatherwithafrownthathetriedtomakeplayful.
Shedroppedbackintoherseatandwenton:"Youmustn'tthinkthatagirlknowsaslittleasherparentsimagine.
Onehearsandonenotices—onehasone'sfeelingsandideas.
Andofcourse,longbeforeyoutoldmethatyoucaredforme,I'dknownthattherewassomeoneelseyouwereinterestedin;everyonewastalkingaboutittwoyearsagoatNewport.
AndonceIsawyousittingtogetherontheverandahatadance—andwhenshecamebackintothehouseherfacewassad,andIfeltsorryforher;Iremembereditafterward,whenwewereengaged."
Hervoicehadsunkalmosttoawhisper,andshesatclaspingandunclaspingherhandsaboutthehandleofhersunshade.
Theyoungmanlaidhisuponthemwithagentlepressure;hisheartdilatedwithaninexpressiblerelief.
"Mydearchild—wasTHATit?Ifyouonlyknewthetruth!"
Sheraisedherheadquickly."ThenthereisatruthIdon'tknow?"
Hekepthishandoverhers."Imeant,thetruthabouttheoldstoryyouspeakof."
"Butthat'swhatIwanttoknow,Newland—whatIoughttoknow.
Icouldn'thavemyhappinessmadeoutofawrong—anunfairness—tosomebodyelse.
AndIwanttobelievethatitwouldbethesamewithyou.
Whatsortofalifecouldwebuildonsuchfoundations?"
Herfacehadtakenonalookofsuchtragiccouragethathefeltlikebowinghimselfdownatherfeet.
"I'vewantedtosaythisforalongtime,"shewenton.
"I'vewantedtotellyouthat,whentwopeoplereallyloveeachother,Iunderstandthattheremaybesituationswhichmakeitrightthattheyshould—shouldgoagainstpublicopinion.
Andifyoufeelyourselfinanywaypledged...pledgedtothepersonwe'vespokenof...andifthereisanyway...anywayinwhichyoucanfulfillyourpledge...evenbyhergettingadivorce...Newland,don'tgiveherupbecauseofme!"
Hissurpriseatdiscoveringthatherfearshadfasteneduponanepisodesoremoteandsocompletelyofthepastashislove–affairwithMrs.ThorleyRushworthgavewaytowonderatthegenerosityofherview.
Therewassomethingsuperhumaninanattitudesorecklesslyunorthodox,andifotherproblemshadnotpressedonhimhewouldhavebeenlostinwonderattheprodigyoftheWellands'daughterurginghimtomarryhisformermistress.
Buthewasstilldizzywiththeglimpseoftheprecipicetheyhadskirted,andfullofanewaweatthemysteryofyoung–girlhood.
Foramomenthecouldnotspeak;thenhesaid:"Thereisnopledge—noobligationwhatever—ofthekindyouthink.
Suchcasesdon'talways—presentthemselvesquiteassimplyas...Butthat'snomatter...Iloveyourgenerosity,becauseIfeelasyoudoaboutthosethings...Ifeelthateachcasemustbejudgedindividually,onitsownmerits...irrespectiveofstupidconventionalities...Imean,eachwoman'srighttoherliberty—"Hepulledhimselfup,startledbytheturnhisthoughtshadtaken,andwenton,lookingatherwithasmile:"Sinceyouunderstandsomanythings,dearest,can'tyougoalittlefarther,andunderstandtheuselessnessofoursubmittingtoanotherformofthesamefoolishconventionalities?
Ifthere'snooneandnothingbetweenus,isn'tthatanargumentformarryingquickly,ratherthanformoredelay?"
Sheflushedwithjoyandliftedherfacetohis;ashebenttoithesawthathereyeswerefullofhappytears.
Butinanothermomentsheseemedtohavedescendedfromherwomanlyeminencetohelplessandtimorousgirlhood;andheunderstoodthathercourageandinitiativewereallforothers,andthatshehadnoneforherself.
Itwasevidentthattheeffortofspeakinghadbeenmuchgreaterthanherstudiedcomposurebetrayed,andthatathisfirstwordofreassuranceshehaddroppedbackintotheusual,asatoo–adventurouschildtakesrefugeinitsmother'sarms.
Archerhadnohearttogoonpleadingwithher;hewastoomuchdisappointedatthevanishingofthenewbeingwhohadcastthatonedeeplookathimfromhertransparenteyes.
Mayseemedtobeawareofhisdisappointment,butwithoutknowinghowtoalleviateit;andtheystoodupandwalkedsilentlyhome.
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