English
ATTHECLOSEofthoseweeks,Iwasabletoquitmychamber,andmoveaboutthehouse.
Andonthefirstoccasionofmysittingupintheevening,IaskedCatherinetoreadtome,becausemyeyeswereweak.
Wewereinthelibrary,themasterhavinggonetobed:sheconsented,ratherunwillingly,Ifancied;andimaginingmysortofbooksdidnotsuither,Ibidherpleaseherselfinthechoiceofwhatsheperused.
Sheselectedoneofherownfavourites,andgotforwardsteadilyaboutanhour;thencamefrequentquestions.
“Ellen,arenotyoutired?Hadn’tyoubetterliedownnow?You’llbesick,keepingupsolong,Ellen.”
“No,no,dear,I’mnottired,”Ireturnedcontinually.
Perceivingmeimmovable,sheessayedanothermethodofshowingherdisrelishforheroccupation.Itchangedtoyawning,andstretching,and:
“Ellen,I’mtired.”
“Giveoverthenandtalk,”Ianswered.
Thatwasworse:shefrettedandsighed,andlookedatherwatchtilleight,andfinallywenttoherroom,completelyover-donewithsleep;judgingbyherpeevish,heavylook,andtheconstantrubbingsheinflictedonhereyes.
Thefollowingnightsheseemedmoreimpatientstill;andonthethirdfromrecoveringmycompany,shecomplainedofaheadache,andleftme.
Ithoughtherconductodd;andhavingremainedalonealongwhile,Iresolvedongoingandinquiringwhethershewerebetter,andaskinghertocomeandlieonthesofa,insteadofupstairsinthedark.
NoCatherinecouldIdiscoverupstairs,andnonebelow.
Theservantsaffirmedtheyhadnotseenher.
IlistenedatMr.Edgar’sdoor;allwassilence.
Ireturnedtoherapartment,extinguishedmycandle,andseatedmyselfinthewindow.
Themoonshonebright;asprinklingofsnowcoveredtheground,andIreflectedthatshemight,possibly,havetakenitintoherheadtowalkaboutthegarden,forrefreshment.
Ididdetectafigurecreepingalongtheinnerfenceofthepark;butitwasnotmyyoungmistress:onitsmergingintothelight,Irecognizedoneofthegrooms.
Hestoodaconsiderableperiod,viewingthecarriage-roadthroughthegrounds;thenstartedoffatabriskpace,asifhehaddetectedsomething,andreappearedpresently,leadingMiss’spony;andthereshewas,justdismounted,andwalkingbyitsside.
Themantookhischargestealthilyacrossthegrasstowardsthestable.
Cathyenteredbythecasement-windowofthedrawingroom,andglidednoiselesslyuptowhereIawaitedher.
Sheputthedoorgentlyto,slippedoffhersnowyshoes,untiedherhat,andwasproceeding,unconsciousofmyespionage,tolayasidehermantle,whenIsuddenlyroseandrevealedmyself.
Thesurprisepetrifiedheraninstant:sheutteredaninarticulateexclamation,andstoodfixed.
“MydearMissCatherine,”Ibegan,toovividlyimpressedbyherrecentkindnesstobreakintoascold,“wherehaveyoubeenridingoutatthishour?
Andwhyshouldyoutrytodeceiveme,bytellingatale?Wherehaveyoubeen?Speak.”
“Tothebottomofthepark,”shestammered.“Ididn’ttellatale.”
“Andnowhereelse?”Idemanded.
“No,”wasthemutteredreply.
“Oh,Catherine!”Icriedsorrowfully.
“Youknowyouhavebeendoingwrong,oryouwouldn’tbedriventoutteringanuntruthtome.Thatdoesgrieveme.
I’dratherbethreemonthsill,thanhearyouframeadeliberatelie.”
Shesprangforward,andburstingintotears,threwherarmsroundmyneck.
“Well,Ellen,I’msoafraidofyoubeingangry,”shesaid.“Promisenottobeangry,andyoushallknowtheverytruth:Ihatetohideit.”
Wesatdowninthewindow-seat;IassuredherIwouldnotscold,whateverhersecretmightbe,andIguesseditofcourse;soshecommenced:
“I’vebeentoWutheringHeights,Ellen,andI’venevermissedgoingadaysinceyoufellill;exceptthricebefore,andtwiceafteryouleftyourroom.
IgaveMichaelbooksandpicturestoprepareMinnyeveryevening,andtoputherbackinthestable:youmustn’tscoldhimeither,mind.
IwasattheHeightsbyhalf-pastsix,andgenerallystayedtillhalf-pasteight,andthengallopedhome.
ItwasnottoamusemyselfthatIwent:Iwasoftenwretchedallthetime.
NowandthenIwashappy;onceinaweekperhaps.
Atfirst,IexpectedtherewouldbesadworkpersuadingyoutoletmekeepmywordtoLinton;forIhadengagedtocallagainnextday,whenwequittedhim;but,asyoustayedupstairsonthemorrow,Iescapedthattrouble.
WhileMichaelwasrefasteningthelockoftheparkdoorintheafternoon,Igotpossessionofthekey,andtoldhimhowmycousinwishedmetovisithim,becausehewassick,andcouldn’tcometotheGrange;andhowpapawouldobjecttomygoing:andthenInegotiatedwithhimaboutthepony.
Heisfondofreading,andhethinksofleavingsoontogetmarried;soheoffered,ifIwouldlendhimbooksoutofthelibrary,todowhatIwished:butIpreferredgivinghimmyown,andthatsatisfiedhimbetter.
“Onmysecondvisit,Lintonseemedinlivelyspirits;andZillah(thatistheirhousekeeper)madeusacleanroomandagoodfire,andtoldusthat,asJosephwasoutataprayer-meetingandHaretonEarnshawwasoffwithhisdogs—robbingourwoodsofpheasants,asIheardafterwards—wemightdowhatweliked.
Shebroughtmesomewarmwineandgingerbread,andappearedexceedinglygood-natured;andLintonsatinthearmchair,andIinthelittlerocking-chaironthehearth-stone,andwelaughedandtalkedsomerrily,andfoundsomuchtosay:weplannedwherewewouldgo,andwhatwewoulddoinsummer.
Ineedn’trepeatthat,becauseyouwouldcallitsilly.
“Onetime,however,wewerenearquarrelling.
HesaidthepleasantestmannerofspendingahotJulydaywaslyingfrommorningtilleveningonabankofheathinthemiddleofthemoors,withthebeeshummingdreamilyaboutamongthebloom,andthelarkssinginghighupoverhead,andtheblueskyandbrightsunshiningsteadilyandcloudlessly.
Thatwashismostperfectideaofheaven’shappiness:minewasrockinginarustlinggreentree,withawestwindblowing,andbrightwhitecloudsflittingrapidlyabove;andnotonlylarks,butthrostles,andblackbirds,andlinnets,andcuckoospouringoutmusiconeveryside,andthemoorsseenatadistance,brokenintocoolduskydells;butclosebygreatswellsoflonggrassundulatinginwavestothebreeze;andwoodsandsoundingwater,andthewholeworldawakeandwildwithjoy.
Hewantedalltolieinanecstasyofpeace;Iwantedalltosparkleanddanceinagloriousjubilee.
Isaidhisheavenwouldbeonlyhalfalive;andhesaidminewouldbedrunk;IsaidIshouldfallasleepinhis;andhesaidhecouldnotbreatheinmine,andbegantogrowverysnappish.
Atlast,weagreedtotryboth,assoonastherightweathercame;andthenwekissedeachotherandwerefriends.
“Aftersittingstillanhour,Ilookedatthegreatroomwithitssmoothuncarpetedfloor,andthoughthowniceitwouldbetoplayin,ifweremovedthetable;andIaskedLintontocallZillahintohelpus,andwe’dhaveagameatblind-man’sbuff;sheshouldtrytocatchus:youusedto,youknow,Ellen.
Hewouldn’t:therewasnopleasureinit,hesaid;butheconsentedtoplayatballwithme.
Wefoundtwoinacupboard,amongaheapofoldtoys,tops,andhops,andbattledores,andshuttlecocks.
OnewasmarkedC.,andtheotherH.;IwishedtohavetheC.,becausethatstoodforCatherine,andtheH.mightbeforHeathcliff,hisname;butthebrancameoutofH.,andLintondidn’tlikeit.
Ibeathimconstantly,andhegotcrossagain,andcoughed,andreturnedtohischair.
Thatnight,though,heeasilyrecoveredhisgoodhumour:hewascharmedwithtwoorthreeprettysongs—yoursongs,Ellen;andwhenIwasobligedtogo,hebeggedandentreatedmetocomethefollowingevening;andIpromised.
MinnyandIwentflyinghomeaslightasair;andIdreamtofWutheringHeightsandmysweet,darlingcousin,tillmorning.
“OnthemorrowIwassad;partlybecauseyouwerepoorly,andpartlythatIwishedmyfatherknew,andapprovedofmyexcursions:butitwasbeautifulmoonlightaftertea;and,asIrodeon,thegloomcleared.
Ishallhaveanotherhappyevening,Ithoughttomyself;andwhatdelightsmemore,myprettyLintonwill.
Itrotteduptheirgarden,andwasturningroundtotheback,whenthatfellowEarnshawmetme,tookmybridle,andbidmegoinbythefrontentrance.
HepattedMinny’sneck,andsaidshewasabonnybeast,andappearedasifhewantedmetospeaktohim.
Ionlytoldhimtoleavemyhorsealone,orelseitwouldkickhim.
Heansweredinhisvulgaraccent,‘Itwouldn’tdomitchhurtifitdid’;andsurveyeditslegswithasmile.
Iwashalfinclinedtomakeittry;however,hemovedofftoopenthedoor,and,asheraisedthelatch,helookeduptotheinscriptionabove,andsaid,withastupidmixtureofawkwardnessandelation:
“’MissCatherine!Icanreadyon,now.’
“’Wonderful,’Iexclaimed.‘Prayletushearyou—youaregrownclever!’
“Hespelt,anddrawledoverbysyllables,thename—‘HaretonEarnshaw.’
“’Andthefigures?’Icriedencouragingly,perceivingthathecametoadeadhalt.
“’Icannottellthemyet,”heanswered.
“’Oh,youdunce!’Isaid,laughingheartilyathisfailure.
“Thefoolstared,withagrinhoveringabouthislips,andascowlgatheringoverhiseyes,asifuncertainwhetherhemightnotjoininmymirth:whetheritwerenotpleasantfamiliarity,orwhatitreallywas,contempt.
Isettledhisdoubts,bysuddenlyretrievingmygravityanddesiringhimtowalkaway,forIcametoseeLinton,nothim.
Hereddened—Isawthatbythemoonlight—droppedhishandfromthelatch,andskulkedoffapictureofmortifiedvanity.
HeimaginedhimselftobeasaccomplishedasLinton,Isuppose,becausehecouldspellhisownname;andwasmarvellouslydiscomfitedthatIdidn’tthinkthesame.”
“Stop,MissCatherine,dear!”Iinterrupted.
“Ishallnotscold,butIdon’tlikeyourconductthere.
IfyouhadrememberedthatHaretonwasyourcousinasmuchasMasterHeathcliff,youwouldhavefelthowimproperitwastobehaveinthatway.
Atleast,itwaspraiseworthyambitionforhimtodesiretobeasaccomplishedasLinton;andprobablyhedidnotlearnmerelytoshowoff.
youhadmadehimashamedofhisignorancebefore,Ihavenodoubt;andhewishedtoremedyitandpleaseyou.
Tosneerathisimperfectattemptwasverybadbreeding.
Hadyoubeenbroughtupinhiscircumstances,wouldyoubelessrude?
Hewasasquickandasintelligentachildaseveryouwere;andI’mhurtthatheshouldbedespisednow,becausethatbaseHeathcliffhastreatedhimsounjustly.”
“Well,Ellen,youwon’tcryaboutit,willyou?”
sheexclaimed,surprisedatmyearnestness.
“Butwait,andyoushallhearifheconnedhisABCtopleaseme;andifitwereworthwhilebeingciviltothebrute.
Ientered;Lintonwaslyingonthesettle,andhalfgotuptowelcomeme.
“’I’millto-night,Catherine,love,’hesaid;‘andyoumusthaveallthetalk,andletmelisten.Come,andsitbyme.
Iwassureyouwouldn’tbreakyourword,andI’llmakeyoupromiseagain,beforeyougo.’
“IknewnowthatImustn’tteasehim,ashewasill;andIspokesoftlyandputnoquestions,andavoidedirritatinghiminanyway.
Ihadbroughtsomeofmynicestbooksforhim;heaskedmetoreadalittleofone,andIwasabouttocomply,whenEarnshawburstthedooropen:havinggatheredvenomwithreflection.
Headvanceddirecttous,seizedLintonbythearm,andswunghimofftheseat.
“’Gettothyownroom!’hesaid,inavoicealmostinarticulatewithpassion;andhisfacelookedswelledandfurious.
‘Takeherthereifshecomestoseethee;thoushalln’tkeepmeoutofthis.Begonewi’yeboth!’
“Hesworeatus,andleftLintonnotimetoanswer,nearlythrowinghimintothekitchen;andheclenchedhisfistasIfollowed,seeminglylongingtoknockmedown.
Iwasafraidforamoment,andIletonevolumefall;hekickeditafterme,andshutusout.
Iheardamalignant,crackylaughbythefire,andturning,beheldthatodiousJosephstandingrubbinghisbonyhands,andquivering.
“’Iwersurehe’dsarveyeout!He’sgrandlad!He’sgettent’raightsperritinhim!
Heknaws—Ay,heknaws,asweelasIdo,whosudbet’maisteryonder—Ech,ech,ech!Hemadeyeskiftproperly!Ech,ech,ech!’
“’Wheremustwego?’Iaskedofmycousin,disregardingtheoldwretch’smockery.
“Lintonwaswhiteandtrembling.Hewasnotprettythen,Ellen:ohno!
helookedfrightful;forhisthinfaceandlargeeyeswerewroughtintoanexpressionoffrantic,powerlessfury.
Hegraspedthehandleofthedoor,andshookit:itwasfastenedinside.
“Ifyoudon’tletmeinI’llkillyou!—Ifyoudon’tletmein,I’llkillyou!”herathershriekedthansaid.‘Devil!devil!—I’llkillyou—I’llkillyou!”
“Josephutteredhiscroakinglaughagain.
“’Thear,that’st’father!’hecried.‘That’sfather!We’veallassummuto’eithersideinus.Niverheed,Hareton,lad—dunnutbe‘feared—hecannotgetatthee!’
“ItookholdofLinton’shands,andtriedtopullhimaway;butheshriekedsoshockinglythatIdarednotproceed.
Atlasthiscrieswerechokedbyadreadfulfitofcoughing;bloodgushedfromhismouth,andhefellontheground.
Iranintotheyard,sickwithterror;andcalledforZillah,asloudasIcould.
Shesoonheardme:shewasmilkingthecowsinashedbehindthebarn,andhurryingfromherwork,sheenquiredwhattherewastodo?
Ihadn’tbreathtoexplain;draggingherin,IlookedaboutforLinton.
Earnshawhadcomeouttoexaminethemischiefhehadcaused,andhewasthenconveyingthepoorthingupstairs.
ZillahandIascendedafterhim;buthestoppedmeatthetopofthesteps,andsaidIshouldn’tgoin:Imustgohome.
IexclaimedthathehadkilledLinton,andIwouldenter.
Josephlockedthedoor,anddeclaredIshoulddo‘nosichstuff,’andaskedmewhetherIwere‘bahntobeasmadashim.’
Istoodcrying,tillthehousekeeperreappeared.
Sheaffirmedhewouldbebetterinabit,buthecouldn’tdowiththatshriekinganddin;andshetookme,andnearlycarriedmeintothehouse.
“Ellen,Iwasreadytotearmyhairoffmyhead!
Isobbedandweptsothatmyeyeswerealmostblind;andtheruffianyouhavesuchsympathywithstoodopposite:presumingeverynowandthentobidme‘wisht,’anddenyingthatitwashisfault;and,finally,frightenedbymyassertionsthatIwouldtellpapa,andthatheshouldbeputinprisonandhanged,hecommencedblubberinghimself,andhurriedouttohidehiscowardlyagitation.
Still,Iwasnotridofhim:whenatlengththeycompelledmetodepart,andIhadgonesomehundredyardsoffthepremises,hesuddenlyissuedfromtheshadowoftheroadside,andcheckedMinnyandtookholdofme.
“’MissCatherine,I’millgrieved,’hebegan,‘butit’sraythertoobad-’
“Igavehimacutwithmywhip,thinkingperhapshewouldmurderme.Heletgo,thunderingoneofhishorridcurses,andIgallopedhomemorethanhalfoutofmysenses.
“Ididn’tbidyougoodnightthatevening,andIdidn’tgotoWutheringHeightsthenext:Iwishedtogoexceedingly;butIwasstrangelyexcited,anddreadedtohearthatLintonwasdead,sometimes;andsometimesshudderedatthethoughtofencounteringHareton.
OnthethirddayItookcourage:atleast,Icouldn’tbearlongersuspense,andstoleoffoncemore.
Iwentatfiveo’clock,andwalked;fancyingImightmanagetocreepintothehouse,anduptoLinton’sroom,unobserved.
However,thedogsgavenoticeofmyapproach.
Zillahreceivedme,andsaying,‘theladwasmendingnicely,’showedmeintoasmall,tidy,carpetedapartment,where,tomyinexpressiblejoy,IbeheldLintonlaidonalittlesofa,readingoneofmybooks.
Buthewouldneitherspeaktomenorlookatme,throughawholehour.Ellen:hehassuchanunhappytemper.
Andwhatquiteconfoundedme,whenhedidopenhismouth,itwastoutterthefalsehoodthatIhadoccasionedtheuproar,andHaretonwasnottoblame!
Unabletoreply,exceptpassionately,Igotupandwalkedfromtheroom.Hesentaftermeafaint‘Catherine!’
Hedidnotreckononbeingansweredso:butIwouldn’tturnback;andthemorrowwastheseconddayonwhichIstayedathome,nearlydeterminedtovisithimnomore.
Butitwassomiserablegoingtobedandgettingup,andneverhearinganythingabouthim,thatmyresolutionmeltedintoairbeforeitwasproperlyformed.
Ithadappearedwrongtotakethejourneyonce;nowitseemedwrongtorefrain.
MichaelcametoaskifhemustsaddleMinny;Isaid‘Yes,’andconsideredmyselfdoingadutyassheboremeoverthehills.
Iwasforcedtopassthefrontwindowstogettothecourt:itwasnousetryingtoconcealmypresence.
“’Youngmasterisinthehouse,’saidZillah,asshesawmemakingfortheparlour.
Iwentin;Earnshawwastherealso,buthequittedtheroomdirectly.
Lintonsatinthegreatarm-chairhalfasleep;walkinguptothefire,Ibeganinaserioustone,partlymeaningittobetrue:
“’Asyoudon’tlikeme,Linton,andasyouthinkIcomeonpurposetohurtyou,andpretendthatIdosoeverytime,thisisourlastmeeting:letussaygood-bye;andtellMr.Heathcliffthatyouhavenowishtoseeme,andthathemustn’tinventanymorefalsehoodsonthesubject.’
“’Sitdownandtakeyourhatoff,Catherine,’heanswered.
‘YouaresomuchhappierthanIam,yououghttobebetter.
Papatalksenoughofmydefects,andshowsenoughscornofme,tomakeitnaturalIshoulddoubtmyself.
IdoubtwhetherIamnotaltogetherasworthlessashecallsmefrequently;andthenIfeelsocrossandbitter,Ihateeverybody!
Iamworthless,andbadintemper,andbadinspirit,almostalways;and,ifyouchoose,youmaysaygood-bye:you’llgetridofanannoyance.
Only,Catherine,domethisjustice:believethatifImightbeassweet,andaskind,andasgoodasyouare,Iwouldbe;aswillingly,andmoreso,thanashappyandashealthy.
AndbelievethatyourkindnesshasmademeloveyoudeeperthanifIdeservedyourlove:andthoughIcouldn’t,andcannothelpshowingmynaturetoyou,Iregretitandrepentit;andshallregretandrepentittillIdie!’
“Ifelthespokethetruth;andIfeltImustforgivehim:and,thoughheshouldquarrelthenextmoment,Imustforgivehimagain.
Wewerereconciled;butwecried,bothofus,thewholetimeIstayed:notentirelyforsorrow;yetIwassorryLintonhadthatdistortednature.
He’llneverlethisfriendsbeatease,andhe’llneverbeateasehimself!
Ihavealwaysgonetohislittleparlour,sincethatnight;becausehisfatherreturnedthedayafter.
“Aboutthreetimes,Ithink,wehavebeenmerryandhopeful,aswewerethefirstevening;therestofmyvisitsweredrearyandtroubled:nowwithhisselfishnessandspite,andnowwithhissufferings:butI’velearnedtoenduretheformerwithnearlyaslittleresentmentasthelatter.
Mr.Heathcliffpurposelyavoidsme:Ihavehardlyseenhimatall.
LastSunday,indeed,comingearlierthanusual,IheardhimabusingpoorLinton,cruelly,forhisconductofthenightbefore.
Ican’ttellhowheknewofit,unlesshelistened.
Lintonhadcertainlybehavedprovokingly;however,itwasthebusinessofnobodybutme,andIinterruptedMr.Heathcliff’slecturebyenteringandtellinghimso.
Heburstintoalaugh,andwentaway,sayinghewasgladItookthatviewofthematter.
Sincethen,I’vetoldLintonhemustwhisperhisbitterthings.Now,Ellen,youhaveheardall.
Ican’tbepreventedfromgoingtoWutheringHeights,exceptbyinflictingmiseryontwopeople;whereas,ifyou’llonlynottellpapa,mygoingneeddisturbthetranquillityofnone.You’llnottell,willyou?Itwillbeveryheartlessifyoudo.”
“I’llmakeupmymindonthatpointbyto-morrow,MissCatherine,”Ireplied.“Itrequiressomestudy;andsoI’llleaveyoutoyourrest,andgothinkitover.”
Ithoughtitoveraloud,inmymaster’spresence;walkingstraightfromherroomtohisandrelatingthewholestory:withtheexceptionofherconversationswithhercousin,andanymentionofHareton.
Mr.Lintonwasalarmedanddistressed,morethanhewouldacknowledgetome.
Inthemorning,Catherinelearntmybetrayalofherconfidence,andshelearntalsothathersecretvisitsweretoend.
Invainsheweptandwrithedagainsttheinterdict,andimploredherfathertohavepityonLinton:allshegottocomfortherwasapromisethathewouldwriteandgivehimleavetocometotheGrangewhenhepleased;butexplainingthathemustnolongerexpecttoseeCatherineatWutheringHeights.
Perhaps,hadhebeenawareofhisnephew’sdispositionandstateofhealth,hewouldhaveseenfittowithholdeventhatslightconsolation.
Share this article to
FINISH