English
Pesca’sfaceandmanner,ontheeveningwhenweconfrontedeachotheratmymother’sgate,weremorethansufficienttoinformmethatsomethingextraordinaryhadhappened.
Itwasquiteuseless,however,toaskhimforanimmediateexplanation.
Icouldonlyconjecture,whilehewasdraggingmeinbybothhands,that(knowingmyhabits)hehadcometothecottagetomakesureofmeetingmethatnight,andthathehadsomenewstotellofanunusuallyagreeablekind.
Webothbouncedintotheparlourinahighlyabruptandundignifiedmanner.
Mymothersatbytheopenwindowlaughingandfanningherself.
Pescawasoneofherespecialfavouritesandhiswildesteccentricitieswerealwayspardonableinhereyes.Poordearsoul!
fromthefirstmomentwhenshefoundoutthatthelittleProfessorwasdeeplyandgratefullyattachedtoherson,sheopenedherhearttohimunreservedly,andtookallhispuzzlingforeignpeculiaritiesforgranted,withoutsomuchasattemptingtounderstandanyoneofthem.
MysisterSarah,withalltheadvantagesofyouth,was,strangelyenough,lesspliable.
ShedidfulljusticetoPesca’sexcellentqualitiesofheart;butshecouldnotaccepthimimplicitly,asmymotheracceptedhim,formysake.
HerinsularnotionsofproprietyroseinperpetualrevoltagainstPesca’sconstitutionalcontemptforappearances;andshewasalwaysmoreorlessundisguisedlyastonishedathermother’sfamiliaritywiththeeccentriclittleforeigner.
Ihaveobserved,notonlyinmysister’scase,butintheinstancesofothers,thatweoftheyounggenerationarenothinglikesoheartyandsoimpulsiveassomeofourelders.
Iconstantlyseeoldpeopleflushedandexcitedbytheprospectofsomeanticipatedpleasurewhichaltogetherfailstorufflethetranquillityoftheirserenegrandchildren.
Arewe,Iwonder,quitesuchgenuineboysandgirlsnowasourseniorswereintheirtime?
Hasthegreatadvanceineducationtakenrathertoolongastride;andareweinthesemoderndays,justtheleasttrifleintheworldtoowellbroughtup?
Withoutattemptingtoanswerthosequestionsdecisively,ImayatleastrecordthatIneversawmymotherandmysistertogetherinPesca’ssociety,withoutfindingmymothermuchtheyoungerwomanofthetwo.
Onthisoccasion,forexample,whiletheoldladywaslaughingheartilyovertheboyishmannerinwhichwetumbledintotheparlour,Sarahwasperturbedlypickingupthebrokenpiecesofateacup,whichtheProfessorhadknockedoffthetableinhisprecipitateadvancetomeetmeatthedoor.
“Idon’tknowwhatwouldhavehappened,Walter,”saidmymother,“ifyouhaddelayedmuchlonger.
Pescahasbeenhalfmadwithimpatience,andIhavebeenhalfmadwithcuriosity.
TheProfessorhasbroughtsomewonderfulnewswithhim,inwhichhesaysyouareconcerned;andhehascruellyrefusedtogiveusthesmallesthintofittillhisfriendWalterappeared.”
“Veryprovoking:itspoilstheSet,”murmuredSarahtoherself,mournfullyabsorbedovertheruinsofthebrokencup.
Whilethesewordswerebeingspoken,Pesca,happilyandfussilyunconsciousoftheirreparablewrongwhichthecrockeryhadsufferedathishands,wasdraggingalargearm-chairtotheoppositeendoftheroom,soastocommandusallthree,inthecharacterofapublicspeakeraddressinganaudience.
Havingturnedthechairwithitsbacktowardsus,hejumpedintoitonhisknees,andexcitedlyaddressedhissmallcongregationofthreefromanimpromptupulpit.
“Now,mygooddears,”beganPesca(whoalwayssaid“gooddears”whenhemeant“worthyfriends”),“listentome.Thetimehascome—Irecitemygoodnews—Ispeakatlast.”
“Hear,hear!”saidmymother,humouringthejoke.
“Thenextthinghewillbreak,mamma,”whisperedSarah,“willbethebackofthebestarm-chair.”
“Igobackintomylife,andIaddressmyselftothenoblestofcreatedbeings,”continuedPesca,vehementlyapostrophisingmyunworthyselfoverthetoprailofthechair.
“Whofoundmedeadatthebottomofthesea(throughCramp);andwhopulledmeuptothetop;andwhatdidIsaywhenIgotintomyownlifeandmyownclothesagain?”
“Muchmorethanwasatallnecessary,”Iansweredasdoggedlyaspossible;fortheleastencouragementinconnectionwiththissubjectinvariablyletloosetheProfessor’semotionsinafloodoftears.
“Isaid,”persistedPesca,“thatmylifebelongedtomydearfriend,Walter,fortherestofmydays—andsoitdoes.
IsaidthatIshouldneverbehappyagaintillIhadfoundtheopportunityofdoingagoodSomethingforWalter—andIhaveneverbeencontentedwithmyselftillthismostblessedday.
Now,”criedtheenthusiasticlittlemanatthetopofhisvoice,“theoverflowinghappinessburstsoutofmeateveryporeofmyskin,likeaperspiration;foronmyfaith,andsoul,andhonour,thesomethingisdoneatlast,andtheonlywordtosaynowis—Right-all-right!”
ItmaybenecessarytoexplainherethatPescapridedhimselfonbeingaperfectEnglishmaninhislanguage,aswellasinhisdress,manners,andamusements.
Havingpickedupafewofourmostfamiliarcolloquialexpressions,hescatteredthemaboutoverhisconversationwhenevertheyhappenedtooccurtohim,turningthem,inhishighrelishfortheirsoundandhisgeneralignoranceoftheirsense,intocompoundwordsandrepetitionsofhisown,andalwaysrunningthemintoeachother,asiftheyconsistedofonelongsyllable.
“AmongthefineLondonHouseswhereIteachthelanguageofmynativecountry,”saidtheProfessor,rushingintohislong-deferredexplanationwithoutanotherwordofpreface,“thereisone,mightyfine,inthebigplacecalledPortland.Youallknowwherethatis?Yes,yes—course-of-course.
Thefinehouse,mygooddears,hasgotinsideitafinefamily.
AMamma,fairandfat;threeyoungMisses,fairandfat;twoyoungMisters,fairandfat;andaPapa,thefairestandthefattestofall,whoisamightymerchant,uptohiseyesingold—afinemanonce,butseeingthathehasgotanakedheadandtwochins,finenolongeratthepresenttime.Nowmind!
IteachthesublimeDantetotheyoungMisses,andah!—my-soul-bless-my-soul!
—itisnotinhumanlanguagetosayhowthesublimeDantepuzzlestheprettyheadsofallthree!
Nomatter—allingoodtime—andthemorelessonsthebetterforme.Nowmind!
ImaginetoyourselvesthatIamteachingtheyoungMissesto-day,asusual.
WeareallfourofusdowntogetherintheHellofDante.
AttheSeventhCircle—butnomatterforthat:alltheCirclesarealiketothethreeyoungMisses,fairandfat,—attheSeventhCircle,nevertheless,mypupilsarestickingfast;andI,tosetthemgoingagain,recite,explain,andblowmyselfupred-hotwithuselessenthusiasm,when—acreakofbootsinthepassageoutside,andincomesthegoldenPapa,themightymerchantwiththenakedheadandthetwochins.
—Ha!
mygooddears,Iamcloserthanyouthinkfortothebusiness,now.Haveyoubeenpatientsofar?
orhaveyousaidtoyourselves,‘Deuce-what-the-deuce!Pescaislong-windedto-night?’”
Wedeclaredthatweweredeeplyinterested.TheProfessorwenton:
“Inhishand,thegoldenPapahasaletter;andafterhehasmadehisexcusefordisturbingusinourInfernalRegionwiththecommonmortalBusinessofthehouse,headdresseshimselftothethreeyoungMisses,andbegins,asyouEnglishbegineverythinginthisblessedworldthatyouhavetosay,withagreatO.‘O,mydears,’saysthemightymerchant,‘Ihavegotherealetterfrommyfriend,Mr.——’(thenamehasslippedoutofmymind;butnomatter;weshallcomebacktothat;yes,yes—right-all-right).
SothePapasays,‘Ihavegotaletterfrommyfriend,theMister;andhewantsarecommendfromme,ofadrawing-master,togodowntohishouseinthecountry.’My-soul-bless-my-soul!
whenIheardthegoldenPapasaythosewords,ifIhadbeenbigenoughtoreachuptohim,Ishouldhaveputmyarmsroundhisneck,andpressedhimtomybosominalongandgratefulhug!
Asitwas,Ionlybounceduponmychair.
Myseatwasonthorns,andmysoulwasonfiretospeakbutIheldmytongue,andletPapagoon.
‘Perhapsyouknow,’saysthisgoodmanofmoney,twiddlinghisfriend’sletterthiswayandthat,inhisgoldenfingersandthumbs,‘perhapsyouknow,mydears,ofadrawing-masterthatIcanrecommend?’
ThethreeyoungMissesalllookateachother,andthensay(withtheindispensablegreatOtobegin)“O,dearno,Papa!
ButhereisMr.Pesca’AtthementionofmyselfIcanholdnolonger—thethoughtofyou,mygooddears,mountslikebloodtomyhead—Istartfrommyseat,asifaspikehadgrownupfromthegroundthroughthebottomofmychair—Iaddressmyselftothemightymerchant,andIsay(Englishphrase)‘Dearsir,Ihavetheman!
Thefirstandforemostdrawing-masteroftheworld!
Recommendhimbythepostto-night,andsendhimoff,bagandbaggage(Englishphraseagain—ha!)
,sendhimoff,bagandbaggage,bythetrainto-morrow!’
‘Stop,stop,’saysPapa;‘isheaforeigner,oranEnglishman?’
‘Englishtotheboneofhisback,’Ianswer.‘Respectable?’saysPapa.
‘Sir,’Isay(forthislastquestionofhisoutragesme,andIhavedonebeingfamiliarwithhim—‘Sir!
theimmortalfireofgeniusburnsinthisEnglishman’sbosom,and,whatismore,hisfatherhaditbeforehim!’
‘Nevermind,’saysthegoldenbarbarianofaPapa,‘nevermindabouthisgenius,Mr.Pesca.
Wedon’twantgeniusinthiscountry,unlessitisaccompaniedbyrespectability—andthenweareverygladtohaveit,verygladindeed.
Canyourfriendproducetestimonials—lettersthatspeaktohischaracter?’Iwavemyhandnegligently.‘Letters?’Isay.‘Ha!my-soul-bless-my-soul!Ishouldthinkso,indeed!
Volumesoflettersandportfoliosoftestimonials,ifyoulike!’
‘Oneortwowilldo,’saysthismanofphlegmandmoney.
‘Lethimsendthemtome,withhisnameandaddress.
And—stop,stop,Mr.Pesca—beforeyougotoyourfriend,youhadbettertakeanote.’‘Bank-note!’Isay,indignantly.
‘Nobank-note,ifyouplease,tillmybraveEnglishmanhasearneditfirst.’‘Bank-note!’
saysPapa,inagreatsurprise,‘whotalkedofbank-note?
Imeananoteoftheterms—amemorandumofwhatheisexpectedtodo.
Goonwithyourlesson,Mr.Pesca,andIwillgiveyouthenecessaryextractfrommyfriend’sletter.’
Downsitsthemanofmerchandiseandmoneytohispen,ink,andpaper;anddownIgoonceagainintotheHellofDante,withmythreeyoungMissesafterme.
Intenminutes’timethenoteiswritten,andthebootsofPapaarecreakingthemselvesawayinthepassageoutside.
Fromthatmoment,onmyfaith,andsoul,andhonour,Iknownothingmore!
ThegloriousthoughtthatIhavecaughtmyopportunityatlast,andthatmygratefulserviceformydearestfriendintheworldisasgoodasdonealready,fliesupintomyheadandmakesmedrunk.
HowIpullmyyoungMissesandmyselfoutofourInfernalRegionagain,howmyotherbusinessisdoneafterwards,howmylittlebitofdinnerslidesitselfdownmythroat,Iknownomorethanamaninthemoon.
Enoughforme,thathereIam,withthemightymerchant’snoteinmyhand,aslargeaslife,ashotasfire,andashappyasaking!Ha!ha!ha!right-right-right-all-right!”
HeretheProfessorwavedthememorandumoftermsoverhishead,andendedhislongandvolublenarrativewithhisshrillItalianparodyonanEnglishcheer.
Mymotherrosethemomenthehaddone,withflushedcheeksandbrightenedeyes.Shecaughtthelittlemanwarmlybybothhands.
“Mydear,goodPesca,”shesaid,“IneverdoubtedyourtrueaffectionforWalter—butIammorethaneverpersuadedofitnow!”
“IamsureweareverymuchobligedtoProfessorPesca,forWalter’ssake,”addedSarah.
Shehalfrose,whileshespoke,asiftoapproachthearmchair,inherturn;but,observingthatPescawasrapturouslykissingmy,mother’shands,lookedserious,andresumedherseat.
“Ifthefamiliarlittlemantreatsmymotherinthatway,howwillhetreatME?”
Facessometimestelltruth;andthatwasunquestionablythethoughtinSarah’smind,asshesatdownagain.
AlthoughImyselfwasgratefullysensibleofthekindnessofPesca’smotives,myspiritswerehardlysomuchelevatedastheyoughttohavebeenbytheprospectoffutureemploymentnowplacedbeforeme.
WhentheProfessorhadquitedonewithmymother’shand,andwhenIhadwarmlythankedhimforhisinterferenceonmybehalf,Iaskedtobeallowedtolookatthenoteoftermswhichhisrespectablepatronhaddrawnupformyinspection.
Pescahandedmethepaper,withatriumphantflourishofthehand.
“Read!”saidthelittlemanmajestically.“Ipromiseyoumyfriend,thewritingofthegoldenPapaspeakswithatongueoftrumpetsforitself.”
Thenoteoftermswasplain,straightforward,andcomprehensive,atanyrate.Itinformedme,
First,ThatFrederickFairlie,Esquire,ofLimmeridgeHouse.Cumberland,wantedtoengagetheservicesofathoroughlycompetentdrawing-master,foraperiodoffourmonthscertain.
Secondly,Thatthedutieswhichthemasterwasexpectedtoperformwouldbeofatwofoldkind.
Hewastosuperintendtheinstructionoftwoyoungladiesintheartofpaintinginwater-colours;andhewastodevotehisleisuretime,afterwards,tothebusinessofrepairingandmountingavaluablecollectionofdrawings,whichhadbeensufferedtofallintoaconditionoftotalneglect.
Thirdly,Thatthetermsofferedtothepersonwhoshouldundertakeandproperlyperformthesedutieswerefourguineasaweek;thathewastoresideatLimmeridgeHouse;andthathewastobetreatedthereonthefootingofagentleman.
Fourthly,andlastly,Thatnopersonneedthinkofapplyingforthissituationunlesshecouldfurnishthemostunexceptionablereferencestocharacterandabilities.
ThereferencesweretobesenttoMr.Fairlie’sfriendinLondon,whowasempoweredtoconcludeallnecessaryarrangements.
TheseinstructionswerefollowedbythenameandaddressofPesca’semployerinPortlandPlace—andtherethenote,ormemorandum,ended.
Theprospectwhichthisofferofanengagementheldoutwascertainlyanattractiveone.
Theemploymentwaslikelytobebotheasyandagreeable;itwasproposedtomeattheautumntimeoftheyearwhenIwasleastoccupied;andtheterms,judgingbymypersonalexperienceinmyprofession,weresurprisinglyliberal.
Iknewthis;IknewthatIoughttoconsidermyselfveryfortunateifIsucceededinsecuringtheofferedemployment—andyet,nosoonerhadIreadthememorandumthanIfeltaninexplicableunwillingnesswithinmetostirinthematter.
IhadneverinthewholeofmypreviousexperiencefoundmydutyandmyinclinationsopainfullyandsounaccountablyatvarianceasIfoundthemnow.
“Oh,Walter,yourfatherneverhadsuchachanceasthis!”saidmymother,whenshehadreadthenoteoftermsandhadhandeditbacktome.
“Suchdistinguishedpeopletoknow,”remarkedSarah,straighteningherselfinthechair;“andonsuchgratifyingtermsofequalitytoo!”
“Yes,yes;theterms,ineverysense,aretemptingenough,”Irepliedimpatiently.“ButbeforeIsendinmytestimonials,Ishouldlikealittletimetoconsider——”
“Consider!”exclaimedmymother.“Why,Walter,whatisthematterwithyou?”
“Consider!”echoedmysister.“Whataveryextraordinarythingtosay,underthecircumstances!”
“Consider!”chimedintheProfessor.“Whatistheretoconsiderabout?Answermethis!
Haveyounotbeencomplainingofyourhealth,andhaveyounotbeenlongingforwhatyoucallasmackofthecountrybreeze?Well!
thereinyourhandisthepaperthatoffersyouperpetualchokingmouthfulsofcountrybreezeforfourmonths’time.Isitnotso?Ha!Again—youwantmoney.Well!Isfourgoldenguineasaweeknothing?My-soul-bless-my-soul!
onlygiveittome—andmybootsshallcreaklikethegoldenPapa’s,withasenseoftheoverpoweringrichnessofthemanwhowalksinthem!
Fourguineasaweek,and,morethanthat,thecharmingsocietyoftwoyoungmisses!
and,morethanthat,yourbed,yourbreakfast,yourdinner,yourgorgingEnglishteasandlunchesanddrinksoffoamingbeer,allfornothing—why,Walter,mydeargoodfriend—deuce-what-the-deuce!
—forthefirsttimeinmylifeIhavenoteyesenoughinmyheadtolook,andwonderatyou!”
Neithermymother’sevidentastonishmentatmybehaviour,norPesca’sfervidenumerationoftheadvantagesofferedtomebythenewemployment,hadanyeffectinshakingmyunreasonabledisinclinationtogotoLimmeridgeHouse.
AfterstartingallthepettyobjectionsthatIcouldthinkoftogoingtoCumberland,andafterhearingthemanswered,oneafteranother,tomyowncompletediscomfiture,ItriedtosetupalastobstaclebyaskingwhatwastobecomeofmypupilsinLondonwhileIwasteachingMr.Fairlie’syoungladiestosketchfromnature.
Theobviousanswertothiswas,thatthegreaterpartofthemwouldbeawayontheirautumntravels,andthatthefewwhoremainedathomemightbeconfidedtothecareofoneofmybrotherdrawing-masters,whosepupilsIhadoncetakenoffhishandsundersimilarcircumstances.
Mysisterremindedmethatthisgentlemanhadexpresslyplacedhisservicesatmydisposal,duringthepresentseason,incaseIwishedtoleavetown;mymotherseriouslyappealedtomenottoletanidlecapricestandinthewayofmyowninterestsandmyownhealth;andPescapiteouslyentreatedthatIwouldnotwoundhimtotheheartbyrejectingthefirstgratefulofferofservicethathehadbeenabletomaketothefriendwhohadsavedhislife.
Theevidentsincerityandaffectionwhichinspiredtheseremonstranceswouldhaveinfluencedanymanwithanatomofgoodfeelinginhiscomposition.
ThoughIcouldnotconquermyownunaccountableperversity,Ihadatleastvirtueenoughtobeheartilyashamedofit,andtoendthediscussionpleasantlybygivingway,andpromisingtodoallthatwaswantedofme.
TherestoftheeveningpassedmerrilyenoughinhumorousanticipationsofmycominglifewiththetwoyoungladiesinCumberland.
Pesca,inspiredbyournationalgrog,whichappearedtogetintohishead,inthemostmarvellousmanner,fiveminutesafterithadgonedownhisthroat,assertedhisclaimstobeconsideredacompleteEnglishmanbymakingaseriesofspeechesinrapidsuccession,proposingmymother’shealth,mysister’shealth,myhealth,andthehealths,inmass,ofMr.FairlieandthetwoyoungMisses,patheticallyreturningthankshimself,immediatelyafterwards,forthewholeparty.
“Asecret,Walter,”saidmylittlefriendconfidentially,aswewalkedhometogether.
“Iamflushedbytherecollectionofmyowneloquence.Mysoulburstsitselfwithambition.
OneofthesedaysIgointoyournobleParliament.
ItisthedreamofmywholelifetobeHonourablePesca,M.P.!”
ThenextmorningIsentmytestimonialstotheProfessor’semployerinPortlandPlace.
Threedayspassed,andIconcluded,withsecretsatisfaction,thatmypapershadnotbeenfoundsufficientlyexplicit.
Onthefourthday,however,ananswercame.
ItannouncedthatMr.Fairlieacceptedmyservices,andrequestedmetostartforCumberlandimmediately.
Allthenecessaryinstructionsformyjourneywerecarefullyandclearlyaddedinapostscript.
Imademyarrangements,unwillinglyenough,forleavingLondonearlythenextday.TowardseveningPescalookedin,onhiswaytoadinner-party,tobidmegood-bye.
“Ishalldrymytearsinyourabsence,”saidtheProfessorgaily,“withthisgloriousthought.
Itismyauspicioushandthathasgiventhefirstpushtoyourfortuneintheworld.Go,myfriend!
WhenyoursunshinesinCumberland(Englishproverb),inthenameofheavenmakeyourhay.
MarryoneofthetwoyoungMisses;becomeHonourableHartright,M.P.;andwhenyouareonthetopoftheladderrememberthatPesca,atthebottom,hasdoneitall!”
Itriedtolaughwithmylittlefriendoverhispartingjest,butmyspiritswerenottobecommanded.Somethingjarredinmealmostpainfullywhilehewasspeakinghislightfarewellwords.
WhenIwasleftaloneagainnothingremainedtobedonebuttowalktotheHampsteadcottageandbidmymotherandSarahgood-bye.
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