WhenToadfoundhimselfimmuredinadankandnoisomedungeon,andknewthatallthegrimdarknessofamedievalfortresslaybetweenhimandtheouterworldofsunshineandwell-metalledhighroadswherehehadlatelybeensohappy,disportinghimselfasifhehadboughtupeveryroadinEngland,heflunghimselfatfulllengthonthefloor,andshedbittertears,andabandonedhimselftodarkdespair.
'Thisistheendofeverything'(hesaid),'atleastitistheendofthecareerofToad,whichisthesamething;thepopularandhandsomeToad,therichandhospitableToad,theToadsofreeandcarelessanddebonair!
HowcanIhopetobeeversetatlargeagain'(hesaid),'whohavebeenimprisonedsojustlyforstealingsohandsomeamotor-carinsuchanaudaciousmanner,andforsuchluridandimaginativecheek,bestoweduponsuchanumberoffat,red-facedpolicemen!'(Herehissobschokedhim.)
'StupidanimalthatIwas'(hesaid),'nowImustlanguishinthisdungeon,tillpeoplewhowereproudtosaytheyknewme,haveforgottentheverynameofToad!OwiseoldBadger!'
Withlamentationssuchasthesehepassedhisdaysandnightsforseveralweeks,refusinghismealsorintermediatelightrefreshments,thoughthegrimandancientgaoler,knowingthatToad'spocketswerewelllined,frequentlypointedoutthatmanycomforts,andindeedluxuries,couldbyarrangementbesentin—ataprice—fromoutside.
Nowthegaolerhadadaughter,apleasantwenchandgood-hearted,whoassistedherfatherinthelighterdutiesofhispost.
Shewasparticularlyfondofanimals,and,besideshercanary,whosecagehungonanailinthemassivewallofthekeepbyday,tothegreatannoyanceofprisonerswhorelishedanafter-dinnernap,andwasshroudedinanantimacassarontheparlourtableatnight,shekeptseveralpiebaldmiceandarestlessrevolvingsquirrel.
Ican'tbeartoseethatpoorbeastsounhappy,andgettingsothin!Youletmehavethemanagingofhim.YouknowhowfondofanimalsIam.
'Now,cheerup,Toad,'shesaid,coaxingly,onentering,'andsitupanddryyoureyesandbeasensibleanimal.Anddotryandeatabitofdinner.
ThepenetratingsmellofcabbagereachedthenoseofToadashelayprostrateinhismiseryonthefloor,andgavehimtheideaforamomentthatperhapslifewasnotsuchablankanddesperatethingashehadimagined.
Sothewisegirlretiredforthetime,but,ofcourse,agooddealofthesmellofhotcabbageremainedbehind,asitwilldo,andToad,betweenhissobs,sniffedandreflected,andgraduallybegantothinknewandinspiringthoughts:ofchivalry,andpoetry,anddeedsstilltobedone;ofbroadmeadows,andcattlebrowsinginthem,rakedbysunandwind;ofkitchen-gardens,andstraightherb-borders,andwarmsnap-dragonbesetbybees;andofthecomfortingclinkofdishessetdownonthetableatToadHall,andthescrapeofchair-legsontheflooraseveryonepulledhimselfcloseuptohiswork.
Theairofthenarrowcelltookarosytinge;hebegantothinkofhisfriends,andhowtheywouldsurelybeabletodosomething;oflawyers,andhowtheywouldhaveenjoyedhiscase,andwhatanasshehadbeennottogetinafew;andlastly,hethoughtofhisowngreatclevernessandresource,andallthathewascapableofifheonlygavehisgreatmindtoit;andthecurewasalmostcomplete.
Whenthegirlreturned,somehourslater,shecarriedatray,withacupoffragrantteasteamingonit;andaplatepiledupwithveryhotbutteredtoast,cutthick,verybrownonbothsides,withthebutterrunningthroughtheholesinitingreatgoldendrops,likehoneyfromthehoneycomb.
ThesmellofthatbutteredtoastsimplytalkedtoToad,andwithnouncertainvoice;talkedofwarmkitchens,ofbreakfastsonbrightfrostymornings,ofcosyparlourfiresidesonwinterevenings,whenone'sramblewasoverandslipperedfeetwereproppedonthefender;ofthepurringofcontentedcats,andthetwitterofsleepycanaries.
Toadsatuponendoncemore,driedhiseyes,sippedhisteaandmunchedhistoast,andsoonbegantalkingfreelyabouthimself,andthehousehelivedin,andhisdoingsthere,andhowimportanthewas,andwhatalothisfriendsthoughtofhim.
Thegaoler'sdaughtersawthatthetopicwasdoinghimasmuchgoodasthetea,asindeeditwas,andencouragedhimtogoon.
'ToadHall,'saidtheToadproudly,'isaneligibleself-containedgentleman'sresidenceveryunique;datinginpartfromthefourteenthcentury,butrepletewitheverymodernconvenience.Up-to-datesanitation.
'Blesstheanimal,'saidthegirl,laughing,'Idon'twanttoTAKEit.TellmesomethingREALaboutit.ButfirstwaittillIfetchyousomemoreteaandtoast.'
Shetrippedaway,andpresentlyreturnedwithafreshtrayful;andToad,pitchingintothetoastwithavidity,hisspiritsquiterestoredtotheirusuallevel,toldherabouttheboathouse,andthefish-pond,andtheoldwalledkitchen-garden;andaboutthepig-styes,andthestables,andthepigeon-house,andthehen-house;andaboutthedairy,andthewash-house,andthechina-cupboards,andthelinen-presses(shelikedthatbitespecially);andaboutthebanqueting-hall,andthefuntheyhadtherewhentheotheranimalsweregatheredroundthetableandToadwasathisbest,singingsongs,tellingstories,carryingongenerally.
Thenshewantedtoknowabouthisanimal-friends,andwasveryinterestedinallhehadtotellheraboutthemandhowtheylived,andwhattheydidtopasstheirtime.
Ofcourse,shedidnotsayshewasfondofanimalsasPETS,becauseshehadthesensetoseethatToadwouldbeextremelyoffended.
Whenshesaidgoodnight,havingfilledhiswater-jugandshakenuphisstrawforhim,Toadwasverymuchthesamesanguine,self-satisfiedanimalthathehadbeenofold.
Hesangalittlesongortwo,ofthesortheusedtosingathisdinner-parties,curledhimselfupinthestraw,andhadanexcellentnight'srestandthepleasantestofdreams.
Theyhadmanyinterestingtalkstogether,afterthat,asthedrearydayswenton;andthegaoler'sdaughtergrewverysorryforToad,andthoughtitagreatshamethatapoorlittleanimalshouldbelockedupinprisonforwhatseemedtoheraverytrivialoffence.
Toad,ofcourse,inhisvanity,thoughtthatherinterestinhimproceededfromagrowingtenderness;andhecouldnothelphalf-regrettingthatthesocialgulfbetweenthemwassoverywide,forshewasacomelylass,andevidentlyadmiredhimverymuch.
Onemorningthegirlwasverythoughtful,andansweredatrandom,anddidnotseemtoToadtobepayingproperattentiontohiswittysayingsandsparklingcomments.
'There,there,'saidToad,graciouslyandaffably,'nevermind;thinknomoreaboutit.IhaveseveralauntswhoOUGHTtobewasherwomen.'
AsIsaid,Ihaveanauntwhoisawasherwoman;shedoesthewashingforalltheprisonersinthiscastle—wetrytokeepanypayingbusinessofthatsortinthefamily,youunderstand.
Now,Ithinkifshewereproperlyapproached—squared,Ibelieveisthewordyouanimalsuse—youcouldcometosomearrangementbywhichshewouldletyouhaveherdressandbonnetandsoon,andyoucouldescapefromthecastleastheofficialwasherwoman.
'Sohasmyaunt,'repliedthegirl,'forwhatSHEis.Buthaveityourownway.Youhorrid,proud,ungratefulanimal,whenI'msorryforyou,andtryingtohelpyou!'
'Yes,yes,that'sallright;thankyouverymuchindeed,'saidtheToadhurriedly.'Butlookhere!youwouldn'tsurelyhaveMr.ToadofToadHall,goingaboutthecountrydisguisedasawasherwoman!'
Introducemetoyourworthyaunt,ifyouwillbesokind,andIhavenodoubtthattheexcellentladyandIwillbeabletoarrangetermssatisfactorytobothparties.'
Theoldladyhadbeenpreparedbeforehandfortheinterview,andthesightofcertaingoldsovereignsthatToadhadthoughtfullyplacedonthetableinfullviewpracticallycompletedthematterandleftlittlefurthertodiscuss.
Inreturnforhiscash,Toadreceivedacottonprintgown,anapron,ashawl,andarustyblackbonnet;theonlystipulationtheoldladymadebeingthatsheshouldbegaggedandboundanddumpeddowninacorner.
Bythisnotveryconvincingartifice,sheexplained,aidedbypicturesquefictionwhichshecouldsupplyherself,shehopedtoretainhersituation,inspiteofthesuspiciousappearanceofthings.
Toadwasdelightedwiththesuggestion.Itwouldenablehimtoleavetheprisoninsomestyle,andwithhisreputationforbeingadesperateanddangerousfellowuntarnished;andhereadilyhelpedthegaoler'sdaughtertomakeherauntappearasmuchaspossiblethevictimofcircumstancesoverwhichshehadnocontrol.
Shakingwithlaughter,sheproceededto'hook-and-eye'himintothecottonprintgown,arrangedtheshawlwithaprofessionalfold,andtiedthestringsoftherustybonnetunderhischin.
'You'retheveryimageofher,'shegiggled,'onlyI'msureyouneverlookedhalfsorespectableinallyourlifebefore.Now,good-bye,Toad,andgoodluck.
Gostraightdownthewayyoucameup;andifanyonesaysanythingtoyou,astheyprobablywill,beingbutmen,youcanchaffbackabit,ofcourse,butrememberyou'reawidowwoman,quitealoneintheworld,withacharactertolose.'
Withaquakingheart,butasfirmafootstepashecouldcommand,Toadsetforthcautiouslyonwhatseemedtobeamosthare-brainedandhazardousundertaking;buthewassoonagreeablysurprisedtofindhoweasyeverythingwasmadeforhim,andalittlehumbledatthethoughtthatbothhispopularity,andthesexthatseemedtoinspireit,werereallyanother's.
Thewasherwoman'ssquatfigureinitsfamiliarcottonprintseemedapassportforeverybarreddoorandgrimgateway;evenwhenhehesitated,uncertainastotherightturningtotake,hefoundhimselfhelpedoutofhisdifficultybythewarderatthenextgate,anxioustobeofftohistea,summoninghimtocomealongsharpandnotkeephimwaitingthereallnight.
Thechaffandthehumouroussalliestowhichhewassubjected,andtowhich,ofcourse,hehadtoprovidepromptandeffectivereply,formed,indeed,hischiefdanger;forToadwasananimalwithastrongsenseofhisowndignity,andthechaffwasmostly(hethought)poorandclumsy,andthehumourofthesalliesentirelylacking.
However,hekepthistemper,thoughwithgreatdifficulty,suitedhisretortstohiscompanyandhissupposedcharacter,anddidhisbestnottooverstepthelimitsofgoodtaste.
Itseemedhoursbeforehecrossedthelastcourtyard,rejectedthepressinginvitationsfromthelastguardroom,anddodgedtheoutspreadarmsofthelastwarder,pleadingwithsimulatedpassionforjustonefarewellembrace.
Butatlastheheardthewicket-gateinthegreatouterdoorclickbehindhim,feltthefreshairoftheouterworlduponhisanxiousbrow,andknewthathewasfree!
Dizzywiththeeasysuccessofhisdaringexploit,hewalkedquicklytowardsthelightsofthetown,notknowingintheleastwhatheshoulddonext,onlyquitecertainofonething,thathemustremovehimselfasquicklyaspossiblefromtheneighbourhoodwheretheladyhewasforcedtorepresentwassowell-knownandsopopularacharacter.
Ashewalkedalong,considering,hisattentionwascaughtbysomeredandgreenlightsalittlewayoff,toonesideofthetown,andthesoundofthepuffingandsnortingofenginesandthebangingofshuntedtrucksfellonhisear.'Aha!'hethought,'thisisapieceofluck!
ArailwaystationisthethingIwantmostinthewholeworldatthismoment;andwhat'smore,Ineedn'tgothroughthetowntogetit,andshan'thavetosupportthishumiliatingcharacterbyreparteeswhich,thoughthoroughlyeffective,donotassistone'ssenseofself-respect.'
Hemadehiswaytothestationaccordingly,consultedatime-table,andfoundthatatrain,boundmoreorlessinthedirectionofhishome,wasduetostartinhalf-an-hour.'Moreluck!'
HegavethenameofthestationthatheknewtobenearesttothevillageofwhichToadHallwastheprincipalfeature,andmechanicallyputhisfingers,insearchofthenecessarymoney,wherehiswaistcoatpocketshouldhavebeen.
Butherethecottongown,whichhadnoblystoodbyhimsofar,andwhichhehadbaselyforgotten,intervened,andfrustratedhisefforts.
Inasortofnightmarehestruggledwiththestrangeuncannythingthatseemedtoholdhishands,turnallmuscularstrivingstowater,andlaughathimallthetime;whileothertravellers,formingupinalinebehind,waitedwithimpatience,makingsuggestionsofmoreorlessvalueandcommentsofmoreorlessstringencyandpoint.
Atlast—somehow—heneverrightlyunderstoodhow—heburstthebarriers,attainedthegoal,arrivedatwhereallwaistcoatpocketsareeternallysituated,andfound—notonlynomoney,butnopockettoholdit,andnowaistcoattoholdthepocket!
Tohishorrorherecollectedthathehadleftbothcoatandwaistcoatbehindhiminhiscell,andwiththemhispocket-book,money,keys,watch,matches,pencil-case—allthatmakeslifeworthliving,allthatdistinguishesthemany-pocketedanimal,thelordofcreation,fromtheinferiorone-pocketedorno-pocketedproductionsthathoportripaboutpermissively,unequippedfortherealcontest.
Inhismiseryhemadeonedesperateefforttocarrythethingoff,and,withareturntohisfineoldmanner—ablendoftheSquireandtheCollegeDon—hesaid,'Lookhere!IfindI'veleftmypursebehind.
Anoldgentlemanwhohadbeenproddinghiminthebackforsomemomentsherethrusthimaway,and,whatwasworse,addressedhimashisgoodwoman,whichangeredToadmorethananythingthathadoccurredthatevening.
Baffledandfullofdespair,hewanderedblindlydowntheplatformwherethetrainwasstanding,andtearstrickleddowneachsideofhisnose.
Itwashard,hethought,tobewithinsightofsafetyandalmostofhome,andtobebaulkedbythewantofafewwretchedshillingsandbythepettifoggingmistrustfulnessofpaidofficials.
Verysoonhisescapewouldbediscovered,thehuntwouldbeup,hewouldbecaught,reviled,loadedwithchains,draggedbackagaintoprisonandbread-and-waterandstraw;hisguardsandpenaltieswouldbedoubled;andO,whatsarcasticremarksthegirlwouldmake!Whatwastobedone?
Hehadseenthismethodadoptedbyschoolboys,whenthejourney-moneyprovidedbythoughtfulparentshadbeendivertedtootherandbetterends.
Ashepondered,hefoundhimselfoppositetheengine,whichwasbeingoiled,wiped,andgenerallycaressedbyitsaffectionatedriver,aburlymanwithanoil-caninonehandandalumpofcotton-wasteintheother.
'O,sir!'saidToad,cryingafresh,'Iamapoorunhappywasherwoman,andI'velostallmymoney,andcan'tpayforaticket,andImustgethometo-nightsomehow,andwhateverIamtodoIdon'tknow.Odear,Odear!'
'That'sabadbusiness,indeed,'saidtheengine-driverreflectively.'Lostyourmoney—andcan'tgethome—andgotsomekids,too,waitingforyou,Idaresay?'
'Anyamountof'em,'sobbedToad.'Andthey'llbehungry—andplayingwithmatches—andupsettinglamps,thelittleinnocents!—andquarrelling,andgoingongenerally.Odear,Odear!'
Ofcourse,hehadneverwashedashirtinhislife,andcouldn'tifhetriedand,anyhow,hewasn'tgoingtobegin;buthethought:'WhenIgetsafelyhometoToadHall,andhavemoneyagain,andpocketstoputitin,Iwillsendtheengine-driverenoughtopayforquiteaquantityofwashing,andthatwillbethesamething,orbetter.'
Theguardwavedhiswelcomeflag,theengine-driverwhistledincheerfulresponse,andthetrainmovedoutofthestation.
Asthespeedincreased,andtheToadcouldseeoneithersideofhimrealfields,andtrees,andhedges,andcows,andhorses,allflyingpasthim,andashethoughthoweveryminutewasbringinghimnearertoToadHall,andsympatheticfriends,andmoneytochinkinhispocket,andasoftbedtosleepin,andgoodthingstoeat,andpraiseandadmirationattherecitalofhisadventuresandhissurpassingcleverness,hebegantoskipupanddownandshoutandsingsnatchesofsong,tothegreatastonishmentoftheengine-driver,whohadcomeacrosswasherwomenbefore,atlongintervals,butneveroneatalllikethis.
Theyhadcoveredmanyandmanyamile,andToadwasalreadyconsideringwhathewouldhaveforsupperassoonashegothome,whenhenoticedthattheengine-driver,withapuzzledexpressiononhisface,wasleaningoverthesideoftheengineandlisteninghard.
Thenhesawhimclimbontothecoalsandgazeoutoverthetopofthetrain;thenhereturnedandsaidtoToad:'It'sverystrange;we'rethelasttrainrunninginthisdirectionto-night,yetIcouldbeswornthatIheardanotherfollowingus!'
Hebecamegraveanddepressed,andadullpaininthelowerpartofhisspine,communicatingitselftohislegs,madehimwanttositdownandtrydesperatelynottothinkofallthepossibilities.
Bythistimethemoonwasshiningbrightly,andtheengine-driver,steadyinghimselfonthecoal,couldcommandaviewofthelinebehindthemforalongdistance.
Presentlyhecalledout,'Icanseeitclearlynow!Itisanengine,onourrails,comingalongatagreatpace!Itlooksasifwewerebeingpursued!'
Menlikeancientwarders,wavinghalberds;policemenintheirhelmets,wavingtruncheons;andshabbilydressedmeninpot-hats,obviousandunmistakableplain-clothesdetectivesevenatthisdistance,wavingrevolversandwalking-sticks;allwaving,andallshoutingthesamething—"Stop,stop,stop!"'
ThenToadfellonhiskneesamongthecoalsand,raisinghisclaspedpawsinsupplication,cried,'Saveme,onlysaveme,dearkindMr.Engine-driver,andIwillconfesseverything!
Iamatoad—thewell-knownandpopularMr.Toad,alandedproprietor;Ihavejustescaped,bymygreatdaringandcleverness,fromaloathsomedungeonintowhichmyenemieshadflungme;andifthosefellowsonthatenginerecaptureme,itwillbechainsandbread-and-waterandstrawandmiseryoncemoreforpoor,unhappy,innocentToad!'
Ididn'tmeantostealit,really;butpeople—especiallymagistrates—takesuchharshviewsofthoughtlessandhigh-spiritedactions.'
Theengine-driverlookedverygraveandsaid,'Ifearthatyouhavebeenindeedawickedtoad,andbyrightsIoughttogiveyouuptooffendedjustice.
Idon'tholdwithmotor-cars,foronething;andIdon'tholdwithbeingorderedaboutbypolicemenwhenI'monmyownengine,foranother.
Theypiledonmorecoals,shovellingfuriously;thefurnaceroared,thesparksflew,theengineleaptandswungbutstilltheirpursuersslowlygained.
Theengine-driver,withasigh,wipedhisbrowwithahandfulofcotton-waste,andsaid,'I'mafraidit'snogood,Toad.
Now,IwillputonallthespeedIcanwhilewearerunningthroughthetunnel,buttheotherfellowswillslowdownabit,naturally,forfearofanaccident.
Whenwearethrough,IwillshutoffsteamandputonbrakesashardasIcan,andthemomentit'ssafetodosoyoumustjumpandhideinthewood,beforetheygetthroughthetunnelandseeyou.
Theypiledonmorecoals,andthetrainshotintothetunnel,andtheenginerushedandroaredandrattled,tillatlasttheyshotoutattheotherendintofreshairandthepeacefulmoonlight,andsawthewoodlyingdarkandhelpfuluponeithersideoftheline.
Thedrivershutoffsteamandputonbrakes,theToadgotdownonthestep,andasthetrainsloweddowntoalmostawalkingpaceheheardthedrivercallout,'Now,jump!'
Thenoutofthetunnelburstthepursuingengine,roaringandwhistling,hermotleycrewwavingtheirvariousweaponsandshouting,'Stop!stop!stop!'
Buthesoonstoppedlaughingwhenhecametoconsiderthatitwasnowverylateanddarkandcold,andhewasinanunknownwood,withnomoneyandnochanceofsupper,andstillfarfromfriendsandhome;andthedeadsilenceofeverything,aftertheroarandrattleofthetrain,wassomethingofashock.
Hedarednotleavetheshelterofthetrees,sohestruckintothewood,withtheideaofleavingtherailwayasfaraspossiblebehindhim.
Night-jars,soundingtheirmechanicalrattle,madehimthinkthatthewoodwasfullofsearchingwarders,closinginonhim.
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