Thequarter-deckawningswereup,andthebenchesandgangwayscrowdedwithscoresofrosychildren,bustlingnursemaids;ladiesintheprettiestpinkbonnetsandsummerdresses;gentlemenintravellingcapsandlinen-jackets,whosemustachioshadjustbeguntosproutfortheensuingtour;andstouttrimoldveteranswithstarchedneckclothsandneat-brushedhats,suchashaveinvadedEuropeanytimesincetheconclusionofthewar,andcarrythenationalGoddemintoeverycityoftheContinent.
TherewerejauntyyoungCambridge-mentravellingwiththeirtutor,andgoingforareadingexcursiontoNonnenwerthorKonigswinter;therewereIrishgentlemen,withthemostdashingwhiskersandjewellery,talkingabouthorsesincessantly,andprodigiouslypolitetotheyoungladiesonboard,whom,onthecontrary,theCambridgeladsandtheirpale-facedtutoravoidedwithmaidencoyness;therewereoldPallMallloungersboundforEmsandWiesbadenandacourseofwaterstoclearoffthedinnersoftheseason,andalittlerouletteandtrente-et-quarantetokeeptheexcitementgoing;therewasoldMethuselah,whohadmarriedhisyoungwife,withCaptainPapillonoftheGuardsholdingherparasolandguide-books;therewasyoungMaywhowascarryingoffhisbrideonapleasuretour(Mrs.Winterthatwas,andwhohadbeenatschoolwithMay’sgrandmother);therewasSirJohnandmyLadywithadozenchildren,andcorrespondingnursemaids;andthegreatgrandeeBareacresfamilythatsatbythemselvesnearthewheel,staredateverybody,andspoketonoone.
Theircarriages,emblazonedwithcoronetsandheapedwithshiningimperials,wereontheforedeck,lockedinwithadozenmoresuchvehicles:itwasdifficulttopassinandoutamongstthem;andthepoorinmatesofthefore-cabinhadscarcelyanyspaceforlocomotion.
TheseconsistedofafewmagnificentlyattiredgentlemenfromHoundsditch,whobroughttheirownprovisions,andcouldhaveboughthalfthegaypeopleinthegrandsaloon;afewhonestfellowswithmustachiosandportfolios,whosettosketchingbeforetheyhadbeenhalfanhouronboard;oneortwoFrenchfemmesdechambrewhobegantobedreadfullyillbythetimetheboathadpassedGreenwich;agroomortwowholoungedintheneighbourhoodofthehorse-boxesundertheircharge,orleanedoverthesidebythepaddle-wheels,andtalkedaboutwhowasgoodfortheLeger,andwhattheystoodtowinorlosefortheGoodwoodcup.
Allthecouriers,whentheyhaddoneplungingabouttheshipandhadsettledtheirvariousmastersinthecabinsoronthedeck,congregatedtogetherandbegantochatterandsmoke;theHebrewgentlemenjoiningthemandlookingatthecarriages.
TherewasSirJohn’sgreatcarriagethatwouldholdthirteenpeople;myLordMethuselah’scarriage,myLordBareacres’chariot,britzska,andfourgon,thatanybodymightpayforwholiked.
“Aquicettevoiturela?”saidonegentleman-courierwithalargemoroccomoney-bagandear-ringstoanotherwithear-ringsandalargemoroccomoney-bag.
“C’estaKirschjebense—jel’aivutouteal’heure—quibrenoitdessangvichesdanslavoiture,”saidthecourierinafineGermanFrench.
Kirschemergingpresentlyfromtheneighbourhoodofthehold,wherehehadbeenbellowinginstructionsintermingledwithpolyglotoathstotheship’smenengagedinsecretingthepassengers’luggage,cametogiveanaccountofhimselftohisbrotherinterpreters.
HeinformedthemthatthecarriagebelongedtoaNabobfromCalcuttaandJamaicaenormouslyrich,andwithwhomhewasengagedtotravel;andatthismomentayounggentlemanwhohadbeenwarnedoffthebridgebetweenthepaddle-boxes,andwhohaddroppedthenceontotheroofofLordMethuselah’scarriage,fromwhichhemadehiswayoverothercarriagesandimperialsuntilhehadclamberedontohisown,descendedthenceandthroughthewindowintothebodyofthecarriage,totheapplauseofthecourierslookingon.
“Nousallonsavoirunebelletraversee,MonsieurGeorge,”saidthecourierwithagrin,asheliftedhisgold-lacedcap.
WhereuponKirschansweredhimintheEnglishlanguageorinsuchanimitationofitashecouldcommand—forthoughhewasfamiliarwithalllanguages,Mr.Kirschwasnotacquaintedwithasingleone,andspokeallwithindifferentvolubilityandincorrectness.
Theimperiousyounggentlemanwhogobbledthebiscuits(andindeeditwastimetorefreshhimself,forhehadbreakfastedatRichmondfullthreehoursbefore)wasouryoungfriendGeorgeOsborne.
UncleJosandhismammawereonthequarter-deckwithagentlemanofwhomtheyusedtoseeagooddeal,andthefourwereabouttomakeasummertour.
Joswasseatedatthatmomentondeckundertheawning,andprettynearlyoppositetotheEarlofBareacresandhisfamily,whoseproceedingsabsorbedtheBengaleealmostentirely.
Boththenoblecouplelookedratheryoungerthanintheeventfulyear‘15,whenJosrememberedtohaveseenthematBrussels(indeed,healwaysgaveoutinIndiathathewasintimatelyacquaintedwiththem).
LadyBareacres’hair,whichwasthendark,wasnowabeautifulgoldenauburn,whereasLordBareacres’whiskers,formerlyred,wereatpresentofarichblackwithpurpleandgreenreflectionsinthelight.
Shewasinastrawbonnetwithblackribbons,andotherwisedressedinmourning,butthelittlebustleandholidayofthejourneypleasedandexcitedher,andshelookedparticularlyhappy.
Butnevertheless,travellerashewas,hepassedthenightdirefullysickinhiscarriage,wherehiscouriertendedhimwithbrandy-and-waterandeveryluxury.
InduetimethishappypartylandedatthequaysofRotterdam,whencetheyweretransportedbyanothersteamertothecityofCologne.
Herethecarriageandthefamilytooktotheshore,andJoswasnotalittlegratifiedtoseehisarrivalannouncedintheColognenewspapersas“HerrGrafLordvonSedleynebstBegleitungausLondon.”
Hehadhiscourtdresswithhim;hehadinsistedthatDobbinshouldbringhisregimentalparaphernalia;heannouncedthatitwashisintentiontobepresentedatsomeforeigncourts,andpayhisrespectstotheSovereignsofthecountrieswhichhehonouredwithavisit.
Whereverthepartystopped,andanopportunitywasoffered,Mr.JoslefthisowncardandtheMajor’supon“OurMinister.”
ItwaswithgreatdifficultythathecouldberestrainedfromputtingonhiscockedhatandtightstowaitupontheEnglishconsulattheFreeCityofJudenstadt,whenthathospitablefunctionaryaskedourtravellerstodinner.
Hekeptajournalofhisvoyageandnotedelaboratelythedefectsorexcellencesofthevariousinnsatwhichheputup,andofthewinesanddishesofwhichhepartook.
Dobbinusedtocarryaboutforherherstoolandsketch-book,andadmiredthedrawingsofthegood-naturedlittleartistastheyneverhadbeenadmiredbefore.
Shesatuponsteamers’decksanddrewcragsandcastles,orshemountedupondonkeysandascendedtoancientrobber-towers,attendedbyhertwoaides-de-camp,GeorgyandDobbin.
Hewastheinterpreterfortheparty;havingagoodmilitaryknowledgeoftheGermanlanguage,andheandthedelightedGeorgefoughtthecampaignsoftheRhineandthePalatinate.
Inthecourseofafewweeks,andbyassiduouslyconversingwithHerrKirschontheboxofthecarriage,GeorgymadeprodigiousadvanceintheknowledgeofHighDutch,andcouldtalktohotelwaitersandpostilionsinawaythatcharmedhismotherandamusedhisguardian.
Fairscenesofpeaceandsunshine—noblepurplemountains,whosecrestsarereflectedinthemagnificentstream—whohaseverseenyouthathasnotagratefulmemoryofthosescenesoffriendlyreposeandbeauty?
Atthistimeofsummerevening,thecowsaretroopingdownfromthehills,lowingandwiththeirbellstinkling,totheoldtown,withitsoldmoats,andgates,andspires,andchestnut-trees,withlongblueshadowsstretchingoverthegrass;theskyandtheriverbelowflamein-crimsonandgold;andthemoonisalreadyout,lookingpaletowardsthesunset.
Thesunsinksbehindthegreatcastle-crestedmountains,thenightfallssuddenly,therivergrowsdarkeranddarker,lightsquiverinitfromthewindowsintheoldramparts,andtwinklepeacefullyinthevillagesunderthehillsontheoppositeshore.
SoJosusedtogotosleepagooddealwithhisbandannaoverhisfaceandbeverycomfortable,andreadalltheEnglishnews,andeverywordofGalignani’sadmirablenewspaper(maytheblessingsofallEnglishmenwhohaveeverbeenabroadrestonthefoundersandproprietorsofthatpiraticalprint!)
Theywenttotheoperaoftenofevenings—tothosesnug,unassuming,dearoldoperasintheGermantowns,wherethenoblessesitsandcries,andknitsstockingsontheoneside,overagainstthebourgeoisieontheother;andHisTransparencytheDukeandhisTransparentfamily,allveryfatandgood-natured,comeandoccupythegreatboxinthemiddle;andthepitisfullofthemostelegantslim-waistedofficerswithstraw-colouredmustachios,andtwopenceadayonfullpay.
Anewworldofloveandbeautybrokeuponherwhenshewasintroducedtothosedivinecompositions;thisladyhadthekeenestandfinestsensibility,andhowcouldshebeindifferentwhensheheardMozart?
Thetenderpartsof“DonJuan”awakenedinherrapturessoexquisitethatshewouldaskherselfwhenshewenttosayherprayersofanightwhetheritwasnotwickedtofeelsomuchdelightasthatwithwhich“VedraiCarino”and“BattiBatti”filledhergentlelittlebosom?
ButtheMajor,whomsheconsulteduponthishead,ashertheologicaladviser(andwhohimselfhadapiousandreverentsoul),saidthatforhispart,everybeautyofartornaturemadehimthankfulaswellashappy,andthatthepleasuretobehadinlisteningtofinemusic,asinlookingatthestarsinthesky,oratabeautifullandscapeorpicture,wasabenefitforwhichwemightthankHeavenassincerelyasforanyotherworldlyblessing.
AndinreplytosomefaintobjectionsofMrs.Amelia’s(takenfromcertaintheologicalworksliketheWasherwomanofFinchleyCommonandothersofthatschool,withwhichMrs.OsbornehadbeenfurnishedduringherlifeatBrompton)hetoldheranEasternfableoftheOwlwhothoughtthatthesunshinewasunbearablefortheeyesandthattheNightingalewasamostoverratedbird.
“Itisone’snaturetosingandtheother’stohoot,”hesaid,laughing,“andwithsuchasweetvoiceasyouhaveyourself,youmustbelongtotheBulbulfaction.”
Yousee,shehasnothadtoomuchofthatsortofexistenceasyet,andhasnotfalleninthewayofmeanstoeducatehertastesorherintelligence.
Andaseveryoneofthedearsexistherivaloftherestofherkind,timiditypassesforfollyintheircharitablejudgments;andgentlenessfordulness;andsilence—whichisbuttimiddenialoftheunwelcomeassertionofrulingfolks,andtacitprotestantism—aboveall,findsnomercyatthehandsofthefemaleInquisition.
Thus,mydearandcivilizedreader,ifyouandIweretofindourselvesthiseveninginasocietyofgreengrocers,letussay,itisprobablethatourconversationwouldnotbebrilliant;if,ontheotherhand,agreengrocershouldfindhimselfatyourrefinedandpolitetea-table,whereeverybodywassayingwittythings,andeverybodyoffashionandreputetearingherfriendstopiecesinthemostdelightfulmanner,itispossiblethatthestrangerwouldnotbeverytalkativeandbynomeansinterestingorinterested.
Whichofuscanpointoutmanysuchinhiscircle—menwhoseaimsaregenerous,whosetruthisconstant,andnotonlyconstantinitskindbutelevatedinitsdegree;whosewantofmeannessmakesthemsimple;whocanlooktheworldhonestlyinthefacewithanequalmanlysympathyforthegreatandthesmall?
Weallknowahundredwhosecoatsareverywellmade,andascorewhohaveexcellentmanners,andoneortwohappybeingswhoarewhattheycallintheinnercircles,andhaveshotintotheverycentreandbull’s-eyeofthefashion;butofgentlemenhowmany?
Hecertainlyhadverylargehandsandfeet,whichthetwoGeorgeOsbornesusedtocaricatureandlaughat;andtheirjeersandlaughterperhapsledpoorlittleEmmyastrayastohisworth.
Butatallevents,thiscouplewereverydecentlycontented,andenjoyedaspleasantasummertourasanypairthatleftEnglandthatyear.
Georgywasalwayspresentattheplay,butitwastheMajorwhoputEmmy’sshawlonaftertheentertainment;andinthewalksandexcursionstheyoungladwouldbeonahead,andupatower-stairoratree,whilstthesoberercouplewerebelow,theMajorsmokinghiscigarwithgreatplacidityandconstancy,whilstEmmysketchedthesiteortheruin.
ItwasonthisverytourthatI,thepresentwriterofahistoryofwhicheverywordistrue,hadthepleasuretoseethemfirstandtomaketheiracquaintance.
ItwasatthelittlecomfortableDucaltownofPumpernickel(thatveryplacewhereSirPittCrawleyhadbeensodistinguishedasanattache;butthatwasinearlyearlydays,andbeforethenewsoftheBattleofAusterlitzsentalltheEnglishdiplomatistsinGermanytotherightabout)thatIfirstsawColonelDobbinandhisparty.
TheyhadarrivedwiththecarriageandcourierattheErbprinzHotel,thebestofthetown,andthewholepartydinedatthetabled’hote.
EverybodyremarkedthemajestyofJosandtheknowingwayinwhichhesipped,orrathersucked,theJohannisberger,whichheorderedfordinner.
Thelittleboy,too,weobserved,hadafamousappetite,andconsumedschinken,andbraten,andkartoffeln,andcranberryjam,andsalad,andpudding,androastfowls,andsweetmeats,withagallantrythatdidhonourtohisnation.
Afteraboutfifteendishes,heconcludedtherepastwithdessert,someofwhichheevencarriedoutofdoors,forsomeyounggentlemenattable,amusedwithhiscoolnessandgallantfree-and-easymanner,inducedhimtopocketahandfulofmacaroons,whichhediscussedonhiswaytothetheatre,whithereverybodywentinthecheerysociallittleGermanplace.
Theladyinblack,theboy’smamma,laughedandblushed,andlookedexceedinglypleasedandshyasthedinnerwenton,andatthevariousfeatsandinstancesofespieglerieonthepartofherson.
TheColonel—forsohebecameverysoonafterwards—Irememberjokedtheboywithagreatdealofgravefun,pointingoutdisheswhichhehadn’ttried,andentreatinghimnottobaulkhisappetite,buttohaveasecondsupplyofthisorthat.
Itwaswhattheycallagast-rollenightattheRoyalGrandDucalPumpernickelischHof—orCourttheatre—andMadameSchroederDevrient,theninthebloomofherbeautyandgenius,performedthepartoftheheroineinthewonderfuloperaofFidelio.
Fromourplacesinthestallswecouldseeourfourfriendsofthetabled’hoteinthelogewhichSchwendleroftheErbprinzkeptforhisbestguests,andIcouldnothelpremarkingtheeffectwhichthemagnificentactressandmusicproduceduponMrs.Osborne,forsoweheardthestoutgentlemaninthemustachioscallher.
DuringtheastonishingChorusofthePrisoners,overwhichthedelightfulvoiceoftheactressroseandsoaredinthemostravishingharmony,theEnglishlady’sfaceworesuchanexpressionofwonderanddelightthatitstruckevenlittleFipps,theblaseattache,whodrawledout,ashefixedhisglassuponher,“Gayd,itreallydoesonegoodtoseeawomancaypableofthatstaytofexcaytement.”
AndinthePrisonScene,whereFidelio,rushingtoherhusband,cries,“Nichts,nichts,meinFlorestan,”shefairlylostherselfandcoveredherfacewithherhandkerchief.
Everywomaninthehousewassnivellingatthetime,butIsupposeitwasbecauseitwaspredestinedthatIwastowritethisparticularlady’smemoirsthatIremarkedher.
Thencomedrums,trumpets,thundersofartillery,andgroansofthedying,andatlast,inagrandtriumphalswell,“GodSavetheKing”isperformed.
TheremayhavebeenascoreofEnglishmeninthehouse,butattheburstofthatbelovedandwell-knownmusic,everyoneofthem,weyoungfellowsinthestalls,SirJohnandLadyBullminster(whohadtakenahouseatPumpernickelfortheeducationoftheirninechildren),thefatgentlemanwiththemustachios,thelongMajorinwhiteducktrousers,andtheladywiththelittleboyuponwhomhewassosweet,evenKirsch,thecourierinthegallery,stoodboltuprightintheirplacesandproclaimedthemselvestobemembersofthedearoldBritishnation.
AsforTapeworm,theCharged’Affaires,heroseupinhisboxandbowedandsimpered,asifhewouldrepresentthewholeempire.
TapewormwasnephewandheirofoldMarshalTiptoff,whohasbeenintroducedinthisstoryasGeneralTiptoff,justbeforeWaterloo,whowasColonelofthe—thregimentinwhichMajorDobbinserved,andwhodiedinthisyearfullofhonours,andofanaspicofplovers’eggs;whentheregimentwasgraciouslygivenbyhisMajestytoColonelSirMichaelO’Dowd,K.C.B.whohadcommandeditinmanygloriousfields.
TapewormmusthavemetwithColonelDobbinatthehouseoftheColonel’sColonel,theMarshal,forherecognizedhimonthisnightatthetheatre,andwiththeutmostcondescension,hisMajesty’sministercameoverfromhisownboxandpubliclyshookhandswithhisnew-foundfriend.
Georgyburstoutlaughingandsaid,“ByJove,thatwasagood‘un.”EmmyandtheMajorblushed:wesawthemfromthestalls.
“ThisladyisMrs.GeorgeOsborne,”saidtheMajor,“andthisisherbrother,Mr.Sedley,adistinguishedofficeroftheBengalCivilService:permitmetointroducehimtoyourlordship.”
TheDuchessDowagerwentoffinherjinglingoldcoach,attendedbytwofaithfulandwitheredoldmaidsofhonour,andalittlesnuffyspindle-shankedgentlemaninwaiting,inabrownjaseyandagreencoatcoveredwithorders—ofwhichthestarandthegrandyellowcordonoftheorderofSt.MichaelofPumpernickelweremostconspicuous.
ThencamehisTransparencytheDukeandTransparentfamily,withhisgreatofficersofstateandhousehold.Hebowedserenelytoeverybody.
Andamidthesalutingoftheguardsandtheflaringofthetorchesoftherunningfootmen,cladinscarlet,theTransparentcarriagesdroveawaytotheoldDucalschloss,withitstowersandpinaclesstandingontheschlossberg.
NosoonerwasaforeignerseentherethantheMinisterofForeignAffairs,orsomeothergreatorsmallofficerofstate,wentroundtotheErbprinzandfoundoutthenameofthenewarrival.
Tapewormhadjustwalkedoff,envelopedinhiscloak,withwhichhisgiganticchasseurwasalwaysinattendance,andlookingasmuchaspossiblelikeDonJuan.
ThePrimeMinister’sladyhadjustsqueezedherselfintohersedan,andherdaughter,thecharmingIda,hadputonhercalashandclogs;whentheEnglishpartycameout,theboyyawningdrearily,theMajortakinggreatpainsinkeepingtheshawloverMrs.Osborne’shead,andMr.Sedleylookinggrand,withacrushopera-hatononesideofhisheadandhishandinthestomachofavoluminouswhitewaistcoat.
Wetookoffourhatstoouracquaintancesofthetabled’hote,andthelady,inreturn,presenteduswithalittlesmileandacurtsey,forwhicheverybodymightbethankful.
Thecarriagefromtheinn,underthesuperintendenceofthebustlingMr.Kirsch,wasinwaitingtoconveytheparty;butthefatmansaidhewouldwalkandsmokehiscigaronhiswayhomewards,sotheotherthree,withnodsandsmilestous,wentwithoutMr.Sedley,Kirsch,withthecigarcase,followinginhismaster’swake.
Weallwalkedtogetherandtalkedtothestoutgentlemanabouttheagremensoftheplace.ItwasveryagreeablefortheEnglish.
Therewereshooting-partiesandbattues;therewasaplentyofballsandentertainmentsatthehospitableCourt;thesocietywasgenerallygood;thetheatreexcellent;andthelivingcheap.
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