English
TheMajor’svisitleftoldJohnSedleyinagreatstateofagitationandexcitement.
Hisdaughtercouldnotinducehimtosettledowntohiscustomaryoccupationsoramusementsthatnight.
Hepassedtheeveningfumblingamongsthisboxesanddesks,untyinghispaperswithtremblinghands,andsortingandarrangingthemagainstJos’sarrival.
Hehadtheminthegreatestorder—histapesandhisfiles,hisreceipts,andhisletterswithlawyersandcorrespondents;thedocumentsrelativetothewineproject(whichfailedfromamostunaccountableaccident,aftercommencingwiththemostsplendidprospects),thecoalproject(whichonlyawantofcapitalpreventedfrombecomingthemostsuccessfulschemeeverputbeforethepublic),thepatentsaw-millsandsawdustconsolidationproject,&c.,&c.Allnight,untilaverylatehour,hepassedinthepreparationofthesedocuments,tremblingaboutfromoneroomtoanother,withaquiveringcandleandshakyhands.
Here’sthewinepapers,here’sthesawdust,here’sthecoals;here’smyletterstoCalcuttaandMadras,andrepliesfromMajorDobbin,C.B.,andMr.JosephSedleytothesame.
“HeshallfindnoirregularityaboutME,Emmy,”theoldgentlemansaid.
Emmysmiled.“Idon’tthinkJoswillcareaboutseeingthosepapers,Papa,”shesaid.
“Youdon’tknowanythingaboutbusiness,mydear,”answeredthesire,shakinghisheadwithanimportantair.
AnditmustbeconfessedthatonthispointEmmywasveryignorant,andthatisapitysomepeoplearesoknowing.
Allthesetwopennydocumentsarrangedonasidetable,oldSedleycoveredthemcarefullyoverwithacleanbandannahandkerchief(oneoutofMajorDobbin’slot)andenjoinedthemaidandlandladyofthehouse,inthemostsolemnway,nottodisturbthosepapers,whichwerearrangedforthearrivalofMr.JosephSedleythenextmorning,“Mr.JosephSedleyoftheHonourableEastIndiaCompany’sBengalCivilService.”
Ameliafoundhimupveryearlythenextmorning,moreeager,morehectic,andmoreshakythanever.
“Ididn’tsleepmuch,Emmy,mydear,”hesaid.“IwasthinkingofmypoorBessy.
Iwishshewasalive,torideinJos’scarriageonceagain.
Shekeptherownandbecameitverywell.”
Andhiseyesfilledwithtears,whichtrickleddownhisfurrowedoldface.
Ameliawipedthemaway,andsmilinglykissedhim,andtiedtheoldman’sneckclothinasmartbow,andputhisbroochintohisbestshirtfrill,inwhich,inhisSundaysuitofmourning,hesatfromsixo’clockinthemorningawaitingthearrivalofhisson.
However,whenthepostmanmadehisappearance,thelittlepartywereputoutofsuspensebythereceiptofaletterfromJostohissister,whoannouncedthathefeltalittlefatiguedafterhisvoyage,andshouldnotbeabletomoveonthatday,butthathewouldleaveSouthamptonearlythenextmorningandbewithhisfatherandmotheratevening.
Amelia,asshereadoutthelettertoherfather,pausedoverthelatterword;herbrother,itwasclear,didnotknowwhathadhappenedinthefamily.
Norcouldhe,forthefactisthat,thoughtheMajorrightlysuspectedthathistravellingcompanionneverwouldbegotintomotioninsoshortaspaceastwenty-fourhours,andwouldfindsomeexcusefordelaying,yetDobbinhadnotwrittentoJostoinformhimofthecalamitywhichhadbefallentheSedleyfamily,beingoccupiedintalkingwithAmeliauntillongafterpost-hour.
Therearesomesplendidtailors’shopsintheHighStreetofSouthampton,inthefineplate-glasswindowsofwhichhanggorgeouswaistcoatsofallsorts,ofsilkandvelvet,andgoldandcrimson,andpicturesofthelastnewfashions,inwhichthosewonderfulgentlemenwithquizzingglasses,andholdingontolittleboyswiththeexceedinglargeeyesandcurlyhair,ogleladiesinridinghabitsprancingbytheStatueofAchillesatApsleyHouse.
Jos,althoughprovidedwithsomeofthemostsplendidveststhatCalcuttacouldfurnish,thoughthecouldnotgototownuntilhewassuppliedwithoneortwoofthesegarments,andselectedacrimsonsatin,embroideredwithgoldbutterflies,andablackandredvelvettartanwithwhitestripesandarollingcollar,withwhich,andarichbluesatinstockandagoldpin,consistingofafive-barredgatewithahorsemaninpinkenameljumpingoverit,hethoughthemightmakehisentryintoLondonwithsomedignity.
ForJos’sformershynessandblunderingblushingtimidityhadgivenwaytoamorecandidandcourageousself-assertionofhisworth.
“Idon’tcareaboutowningit,”WaterlooSedleywouldsaytohisfriends,“Iamadressyman”;andthoughratheruneasyiftheladieslookedathimattheGovernmentHouseballs,andthoughheblushedandturnedawayalarmedundertheirglances,itwaschieflyfromadreadlesttheyshouldmakelovetohimthatheavoidedthem,beingaversetomarriagealtogether.
ButtherewasnosuchswellinCalcuttaasWaterlooSedley,Ihaveheardsay,andhehadthehandsomestturn-out,gavethebestbachelordinners,andhadthefinestplateinthewholeplace.
Tomakethesewaistcoatsforamanofhissizeanddignitytookatleastaday,partofwhichheemployedinhiringaservanttowaituponhimandhisnativeandininstructingtheagentwhoclearedhisbaggage,hisboxes,hisbooks,whichheneverread,hischestsofmangoes,chutney,andcurry-powders,hisshawlsforpresentstopeoplewhomhedidn’tknowasyet,andtherestofhisPersicosapparatus.
Atlength,hedroveleisurelytoLondononthethirddayandinthenewwaistcoat,thenative,withchatteringteeth,shudderinginashawlontheboxbythesideofthenewEuropeanservant;JospuffinghispipeatintervalswithinandlookingsomajesticthatthelittleboyscriedHooray,andmanypeoplethoughthemustbeaGovernor-General.
HE,Ipromise,didnotdeclinetheobsequiousinvitationofthelandlordstoalightandrefreshhimselfintheneatcountrytowns.
Havingpartakenofacopiousbreakfast,withfish,andrice,andhardeggs,atSouthampton,hehadsofarralliedatWinchesterastothinkaglassofsherrynecessary.
AtAltonhesteppedoutofthecarriageathisservant’srequestandimbibedsomeofthealeforwhichtheplaceisfamous.
AtFarnhamhestoppedtoviewtheBishop’sCastleandtopartakeofalightdinnerofstewedeels,vealcutlets,andFrenchbeans,withabottleofclaret.
HewascoldoverBagshotHeath,wherethenativechatteredmoreandmore,andJosSahibtooksomebrandy-and-water;infact,whenhedroveintotownhewasasfullofwine,beer,meat,pickles,cherry-brandy,andtobaccoasthesteward’scabinofasteam-packet.
ItwaseveningwhenhiscarriagethundereduptothelittledoorinBrompton,whithertheaffectionatefellowdrovefirst,andbeforehieingtotheapartmentssecuredforhimbyMr.DobbinattheSlaughters’.
Allthefacesinthestreetwereinthewindows;thelittlemaidservantflewtothewicket-gate;theMesdamesClapplookedoutfromthecasementoftheornamentedkitchen;Emmy,inagreatflutter,wasinthepassageamongthehatsandcoats;andoldSedleyintheparlourinside,shakingallover.
Josdescendedfromthepost-chaiseanddownthecreakingswayingstepsinawfulstate,supportedbythenewvaletfromSouthamptonandtheshudderingnative,whosebrownfacewasnowlividwithcoldandofthecolourofaturkey’sgizzard.
Hecreatedanimmensesensationinthepassagepresently,whereMrs.andMissClapp,comingperhapstolistenattheparlourdoor,foundLollJewabshakinguponthehall-benchunderthecoats,moaninginastrangepiteousway,andshowinghisyelloweyeballsandwhiteteeth.
For,yousee,wehaveadroitlyshutthedooruponthemeetingbetweenJosandtheoldfatherandthepoorlittlegentlesisterinside.
Theoldmanwasverymuchaffected;so,ofcourse,washisdaughter;norwasJoswithoutfeeling.
Inthatlongabsenceoftenyears,themostselfishwillthinkabouthomeandearlyties.Distancesanctifiesboth.
Longbroodingoverthoselostpleasuresexaggeratestheircharmandsweetness.
Joswasunaffectedlygladtoseeandshakethehandofhisfather,betweenwhomandhimselftherehadbeenacoolness—gladtoseehislittlesister,whomherememberedsoprettyandsmiling,andpainedatthealterationwhichtime,grief,andmisfortunehadmadeintheshatteredoldman.
Emmyhadcomeouttothedoorinherblackclothesandwhisperedtohimofhermother’sdeath,andnottospeakofittotheirfather.
Therewasnoneedofthiscaution,fortheelderSedleyhimselfbeganimmediatelytospeakoftheevent,andprattledaboutit,andweptoveritplenteously.
ItshockedtheIndiannotalittleandmadehimthinkofhimselflessthanthepoorfellowwasaccustomedtodo.
Theresultoftheinterviewmusthavebeenverysatisfactory,forwhenJoshadreascendedhispost-chaiseandhaddrivenawaytohishotel,Emmyembracedherfathertenderly,appealingtohimwithanairoftriumph,andaskingtheoldmanwhethershedidnotalwayssaythatherbrotherhadagoodheart?
Indeed,JosephSedley,affectedbythehumblepositioninwhichhefoundhisrelations,andintheexpansivenessandoverflowingofheartoccasionedbythefirstmeeting,declaredthattheyshouldneversufferwantordiscomfortanymore,thathewasathomeforsometimeatanyrate,duringwhichhishouseandeverythinghehadshouldbetheirs:andthatAmeliawouldlookveryprettyattheheadofhistable—untilshewouldacceptoneofherown.
Sheshookherheadsadlyandhad,asusual,recoursetothewaterworks.Sheknewwhathemeant.
Sheandheryoungconfidante,MissMary,hadtalkedoverthemattermostfully,theverynightoftheMajor’svisit,beyondwhichtimetheimpetuousPollycouldnotrefrainfromtalkingofthediscoverywhichshehadmade,anddescribingthestartandtremorofjoybywhichMajorDobbinbetrayedhimselfwhenMr.BinnypassedwithhisbrideandtheMajorlearnedthathehadnolongerarivaltofear.
“Didn’tyouseehowheshookalloverwhenyouaskedifhewasmarriedandhesaid,‘Whotoldyouthoselies?’
Oh,M’am,”Pollysaid,“heneverkepthiseyesoffyou,andI’msurehe’sgrowngreyathinkingofyou.”
ButAmelia,lookingupatherbed,overwhichhungtheportraitsofherhusbandandson,toldheryoungprotegeenever,never,tospeakonthatsubjectagain;thatMajorDobbinhadbeenherhusband’sdearestfriendandherownandGeorge’smostkindandaffectionateguardian;thatshelovedhimasabrother—butthatawomanwhohadbeenmarriedtosuchanangelasthat,andshepointedtothewall,couldneverthinkofanyotherunion.
PoorPollysighed:shethoughtwhatsheshoulddoifyoungMr.Tomkins,atthesurgery,whoalwayslookedathersoatchurch,andwho,bythosemereaggressiveglanceshadputhertimorouslittleheartintosuchaflutterthatshewasreadytosurrenderatonce,—whatsheshoulddoifheweretodie?
Sheknewhewasconsumptive,hischeeksweresoredandhewassouncommonthininthewaist.
NotthatEmmy,beingmadeawareofthehonestMajor’spassion,rebuffedhiminanyway,orfeltdispleasedwithhim.
Suchanattachmentfromsotrueandloyalagentlemancouldmakenowomanangry.
DesdemonawasnotangrywithCassio,thoughthereisverylittledoubtshesawtheLieutenant’spartialityforher(andIformypartbelievethatmanymorethingstookplaceinthatsadaffairthantheworthyMoorishofficereverknewof);why,MirandawasevenverykindtoCaliban,andwemaybeprettysureforthesamereason.
Notthatshewouldencouragehimintheleast—thepooruncouthmonster—ofcoursenot.
NomorewouldEmmybyanymeansencourageheradmirer,theMajor.
Shewouldgivehimthatfriendlyregard,whichsomuchexcellenceandfidelitymerited;shewouldtreathimwithperfectcordialityandfranknessuntilhemadehisproposals,andTHENitwouldbetimeenoughforhertospeakandtoputanendtohopeswhichnevercouldberealized.
Sheslept,therefore,verysoundlythatevening,aftertheconversationwithMissPolly,andwasmorethanordinarilyhappy,inspiteofJos’sdelaying.
“IamgladheisnotgoingtomarrythatMissO’Dowd,”shethought.
“ColonelO’DowdnevercouldhaveasisterfitforsuchanaccomplishedmanasMajorWilliam.”
Whowasthereamongstherlittlecirclewhowouldmakehimagoodwife?
NotMissBinny,shewastoooldandill-tempered;MissOsborne?toooldtoo.LittlePollywastooyoung.
Mrs.OsbornecouldnotfindanybodytosuittheMajorbeforeshewenttosleep.
ThesamemorningbroughtMajorDobbinalettertotheSlaughters’Coffee-housefromhisfriendatSouthampton,beggingdearDobtoexcuseJosforbeinginaragewhenawakenedthedaybefore(hehadaconfoundedheadache,andwasjustinhisfirstsleep),andentreatingDobtoengagecomfortableroomsattheSlaughters’forMr.Sedleyandhisservants.
TheMajorhadbecomenecessarytoJosduringthevoyage.
Hewasattachedtohim,andhunguponhim.
TheotherpassengerswereawaytoLondon.
YoungRickettsandlittleChafferswentawayonthecoachthatday—Rickettsonthebox,andtakingthereinsfromBotley;theDoctorwasofftohisfamilyatPortsea;Bragggonetotowntohisco-partners;andthefirstmatebusyintheunloadingoftheRamchunder.
Mr.JoewasverylonelyatSouthampton,andgotthelandlordoftheGeorgetotakeaglassofwinewithhimthatday,attheveryhouratwhichMajorDobbinwasseatedatthetableofhisfather,SirWilliam,wherehissisterfoundout(foritwasimpossiblefortheMajortotellfibs)thathehadbeentoseeMrs.GeorgeOsborne.
JoswassocomfortablysituatedinSt.Martin’sLane,hecouldenjoyhishookahtherewithsuchperfectease,andcouldswaggerdowntothetheatres,whenminded,soagreeably,that,perhaps,hewouldhaveremainedaltogetherattheSlaughters’hadnothisfriend,theMajor,beenathiselbow.
ThatgentlemanwouldnotlettheBengaleerestuntilhehadexecutedhispromiseofhavingahomeforAmeliaandhisfather.
Joswasasoftfellowinanybody’shands,Dobbinmostactiveinanybody’sconcernsbuthisown;thecivilianwas,therefore,aneasyvictimtotheguilelessartsofthisgood-natureddiplomatistandwasreadytodo,topurchase,hire,orrelinquishwhateverhisfriendthoughtfit.
LollJewab,ofwhomtheboysaboutSt.Martin’sLaneusedtomakecruelfunwheneverheshowedhisduskycountenanceinthestreet,wassentbacktoCalcuttaintheLadyKickleburyEastIndiaman,inwhichSirWilliamDobbinhadashare,havingpreviouslytaughtJos’sEuropeantheartofpreparingcurries,pilaus,andpipes.
ItwasamatterofgreatdelightandoccupationtoJostosuperintendthebuildingofasmartchariotwhichheandtheMajororderedintheneighbouringLongAcre:andapairofhandsomehorseswerejobbed,withwhichJosdroveaboutinstateinthepark,ortocalluponhisIndianfriends.
Ameliawasnotseldombyhissideontheseexcursions,whenalsoMajorDobbinwouldbeseeninthebackseatofthecarriage.
AtothertimesoldSedleyandhisdaughtertookadvantageofit,andMissClapp,whofrequentlyaccompaniedherfriend,hadgreatpleasureinbeingrecognizedasshesatinthecarriage,dressedinthefamousyellowshawl,bytheyounggentlemanatthesurgery,whosefacemightcommonlybeseenoverthewindow-blindsasshepassed.
ShortlyafterJos’sfirstappearanceatBrompton,adismalscene,indeed,tookplaceatthathumblecottageatwhichtheSedleyshadpassedthelasttenyearsoftheirlife.
Jos’scarriage(thetemporaryone,notthechariotunderconstruction)arrivedonedayandcarriedoffoldSedleyandhisdaughter—toreturnnomore.
Thetearsthatwereshedbythelandladyandthelandlady’sdaughteratthateventwereasgenuinetearsofsorrowasanythathavebeenoutpouredinthecourseofthishistory.
IntheirlongacquaintanceshipandintimacytheycouldnotrecallaharshwordthathadbeenutteredbyAmeliaShehadbeenallsweetnessandkindness,alwaysthankful,alwaysgentle,evenwhenMrs.Clapplostherowntemperandpressedfortherent.
Whenthekindcreaturewasgoingawayforgoodandall,thelandladyreproachedherselfbitterlyforeverhavingusedaroughexpressiontoher—howshewept,astheystuckupwithwafersonthewindow,apapernotifyingthatthelittleroomssolongoccupiedweretolet!
Theyneverwouldhavesuchlodgersagain,thatwasquiteclear.
After-lifeprovedthetruthofthismelancholyprophecy,andMrs.Clapprevengedherselfforthedeteriorationofmankindbylevyingthemostsavagecontributionsuponthetea-caddiesandlegsofmuttonofherlocataires.
Mostofthemscoldedandgrumbled;someofthemdidnotpay;noneofthemstayed.
Thelandladymightwellregretthoseold,oldfriends,whohadlefther.
AsforMissMary,hersorrowatAmelia’sdeparturewassuchasIshallnotattempttodepict.
Fromchildhoodupwardsshehadbeenwithherdailyandhadattachedherselfsopassionatelytothatdeargoodladythatwhenthegrandbarouchecametocarryheroffintosplendour,shefaintedinthearmsofherfriend,whowasindeedscarcelylessaffectedthanthegood-naturedgirl.Amelialovedherlikeadaughter.
Duringelevenyearsthegirlhadbeenherconstantfriendandassociate.
Theseparationwasaverypainfuloneindeedtoher.
ButitwasofcoursearrangedthatMarywastocomeandstayoftenatthegrandnewhousewhitherMrs.Osbornewasgoing,andwhereMarywassureshewouldneverbesohappyasshehadbeenintheirhumblecot,asMissClappcalledit,inthelanguageofthenovelswhichsheloved.
Letushopeshewaswronginherjudgement.
PoorEmmy’sdaysofhappinesshadbeenveryfewinthathumblecot.AgloomyFatehadoppressedherthere.
Sheneverlikedtocomebacktothehouseaftershehadleftit,ortofacethelandladywhohadtyrannizedoverherwhenill-humouredandunpaid,orwhenpleasedhadtreatedherwithacoarsefamiliarityscarcelylessodious.
HerservilityandfulsomecomplimentswhenEmmywasinprosperitywerenotmoretothatlady’sliking.
Shecastaboutnotesofadmirationalloverthenewhouse,extollingeveryarticleoffurnitureorornament;shefingeredMrs.Osborne’sdressesandcalculatedtheirprice.
Nothingcouldbetoogoodforthatsweetlady,shevowedandprotested.
Butinthevulgarsycophantwhonowpaidcourttoher,Emmyalwaysrememberedthecoarsetyrantwhohadmadehermiserablemanyatime,towhomshehadbeenforcedtoputuppetitionsfortime,whentherentwasoverdue;whocriedoutatherextravaganceifsheboughtdelicaciesforherailingmotherorfather;whohadseenherhumbleandtrampleduponher.
Nobodyeverheardofthesegriefs,whichhadbeenpartofourpoorlittlewoman’slotinlife.
Shekeptthemsecretfromherfather,whoseimprovidencewasthecauseofmuchofhermisery.
Shehadtobearalltheblameofhismisdoings,andindeedwassoutterlygentleandhumbleastobemadebynatureforavictim.
Ihopesheisnottosuffermuchmoreofthathardusage.
And,asinallgriefsthereissaidtobesomeconsolation,ImaymentionthatpoorMary,whenleftatherfriend’sdepartureinahystericalcondition,wasplacedunderthemedicaltreatmentoftheyoungfellowfromthesurgery,underwhosecaresheralliedafterashortperiod.
Emmy,whenshewentawayfromBrompton,endowedMarywitheveryarticleoffurniturethatthehousecontained,onlytakingawayherpictures(thetwopicturesoverthebed)andherpiano—thatlittleoldpianowhichhadnowpassedintoaplaintivejinglingoldage,butwhichshelovedforreasonsofherown.
Shewasachildwhenfirstsheplayedonit,andherparentsgaveither.
Ithadbeengiventoheragainsince,asthereadermayremember,whenherfather’shousewasgonetoruinandtheinstrumentwasrecoveredoutofthewreck.
MajorDobbinwasexceedinglypleasedwhen,ashewassuperintendingthearrangementsofJos’snewhouse—whichtheMajorinsistedshouldbeveryhandsomeandcomfortable—thecartarrivedfromBrompton,bringingthetrunksandbandboxesoftheemigrantsfromthatvillage,andwiththemtheoldpiano.
Ameliawouldhaveitupinhersitting-room,aneatlittleapartmentonthesecondfloor,adjoiningherfather’schamber,andwheretheoldgentlemansatcommonlyofevenings.
Whenthemenappearedthenbearingthisoldmusic-box,andAmeliagaveordersthatitshouldbeplacedinthechamberaforesaid,Dobbinwasquiteelated.
“I’mgladyou’vekeptit,”hesaidinaverysentimentalmanner.
“Iwasafraidyoudidn’tcareaboutit.”
“IvalueitmorethananythingIhaveintheworld,”saidAmelia.
“Doyou,Amelia?”criedtheMajor.
Thefactwas,ashehadboughtithimself,thoughheneversaidanythingaboutit,itneverenteredintohisheadtosupposethatEmmyshouldthinkanybodyelsewasthepurchaser,andasamatterofcoursehefanciedthatsheknewthegiftcamefromhim.“Doyou,Amelia?”
hesaid;andthequestion,thegreatquestionofall,wastremblingonhislips,whenEmmyreplied—
“CanIdootherwise?—didnothegiveitme?”
“Ididnotknow,”saidpooroldDob,andhiscountenancefell.
Emmydidnotnotethecircumstanceatthetime,nortakeimmediateheedoftheverydismalexpressionwhichhonestDobbin’scountenanceassumed,butshethoughtofitafterwards.
Andthenitstruckher,withinexpressiblepainandmortificationtoo,thatitwasWilliamwhowasthegiverofthepiano,andnotGeorge,asshehadfancied.
ItwasnotGeorge’sgift;theonlyonewhichshehadreceivedfromherlover,asshethought—thethingshehadcherishedbeyondallothers—herdearestrelicandprize.
ShehadspokentoitaboutGeorge;playedhisfavouriteairsuponit;satforlongeveninghours,touching,tothebestofhersimpleart,melancholyharmoniesonthekeys,andweepingovertheminsilence.ItwasnotGeorge’srelic.Itwasvaluelessnow.
ThenexttimethatoldSedleyaskedhertoplay,shesaiditwasshockinglyoutoftune,thatshehadaheadache,thatshecouldn’tplay.
Then,accordingtohercustom,sherebukedherselfforherpettishnessandingratitudeanddeterminedtomakeareparationtohonestWilliamfortheslightshehadnotexpressedtohim,buthadfeltforhispiano.
Afewdaysafterwards,astheywereseatedinthedrawing-room,whereJoshadfallenasleepwithgreatcomfortafterdinner,AmeliasaidwithratherafalteringvoicetoMajorDobbin—
“Ihavetobegyourpardonforsomething.”
“Aboutwhat?”saidhe.
“About—aboutthatlittlesquarepiano.Ineverthankedyouforitwhenyougaveitme,many,manyyearsago,beforeIwasmarried.Ithoughtsomebodyelsehadgivenit.Thankyou,William.”
Sheheldoutherhand,butthepoorlittlewoman’sheartwasbleeding;andasforhereyes,ofcoursetheywereattheirwork.
ButWilliamcouldholdnomore.“Amelia,Amelia,”hesaid,“Ididbuyitforyou.IlovedyouthenasIdonow.Imusttellyou.
IthinkIlovedyoufromthefirstminutethatIsawyou,whenGeorgebroughtmetoyourhouse,toshowmetheAmeliawhomhewasengagedto.
Youwerebutagirl,inwhite,withlargeringlets;youcamedownsinging—doyouremember?—andwewenttoVauxhall.
SincethenIhavethoughtofbutonewomanintheworld,andthatwasyou.
IthinkthereisnohourinthedayhaspassedfortwelveyearsthatIhaven’tthoughtofyou.
IcametotellyouthisbeforeIwenttoIndia,butyoudidnotcare,andIhadn’tthehearttospeak.
YoudidnotcarewhetherIstayedorwent.”
“Iwasveryungrateful,”Ameliasaid.
“No,onlyindifferent,”Dobbincontinueddesperately.
“Ihavenothingtomakeawomantobeotherwise.Iknowwhatyouarefeelingnow.
Youarehurtinyourheartatthediscoveryaboutthepiano,andthatitcamefrommeandnotfromGeorge.
Iforgot,orIshouldneverhavespokenofitso.
Itisformetoaskyourpardonforbeingafoolforamoment,andthinkingthatyearsofconstancyanddevotionmighthavepleadedwithyou.”
“Itisyouwhoarecruelnow,”Ameliasaidwithsomespirit.
“Georgeismyhusband,hereandinheaven.HowcouldIloveanyotherbuthim?
Iamhisnowaswhenyoufirstsawme,dearWilliam.
Itwashewhotoldmehowgoodandgenerousyouwere,andwhotaughtmetoloveyouasabrother.
Haveyounotbeeneverythingtomeandmyboy?
Ourdearest,truest,kindestfriendandprotector?
Hadyoucomeafewmonthssoonerperhapsyoumighthavesparedmethat—thatdreadfulparting.
Oh,itnearlykilledme,William—butyoudidn’tcome,thoughIwishedandprayedforyoutocome,andtheytookhimtooawayfromme.Isn’theanobleboy,William?
Behisfriendstillandmine”—andherehervoicebroke,andshehidherfaceonhisshoulder.
TheMajorfoldedhisarmsroundher,holdinghertohimasifshewasachild,andkissedherhead.
“Iwillnotchange,dearAmelia,”hesaid.“Iaskfornomorethanyourlove.IthinkIwouldnothaveitotherwise.
Onlyletmestaynearyouandseeyouoften.”
“Yes,often,”Ameliasaid.AndsoWilliamwasatlibertytolookandlong—asthepoorboyatschoolwhohasnomoneymaysighafterthecontentsofthetart-woman’stray.
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