English
AfterBecky’sappearanceatmyLordSteyne’sprivateandselectparties,theclaimsofthatestimablewomanasregardsfashionweresettled,andsomeoftheverygreatestandtallestdoorsinthemetropoliswerespeedilyopenedtoher—doorssogreatandtallthatthebelovedreaderandwriterhereofmayhopeinvaintoenteratthem.
Dearbrethren,letustremblebeforethoseaugustportals.
Ifancythemguardedbygroomsofthechamberwithflamingsilverforkswithwhichtheyprongallthosewhohavenottherightoftheentree.
Theysaythehonestnewspaper-fellowwhositsinthehallandtakesdownthenamesofthegreatoneswhoareadmittedtothefeastsdiesafteralittletime.
Hecan’tsurvivetheglareoffashionlong.
Itscorcheshimup,asthepresenceofJupiterinfulldresswastedthatpoorimprudentSemele—agiddymothofacreaturewhoruinedherselfbyventuringoutofhernaturalatmosphere.
HermythoughttobetakentoheartamongsttheTyburnians,theBelgravians—herstory,andperhapsBecky’stoo.Ah,ladies!
—asktheReverendMr.ThuriferifBelgraviaisnotasoundingbrassandTyburniaatinklingcymbal.Thesearevanities.Eventhesewillpassaway.
Andsomedayorother(butitwillbeafterourtime,thankgoodness)HydeParkGardenswillbenobetterknownthanthecelebratedhorticulturaloutskirtsofBabylon,andBelgraveSquarewillbeasdesolateasBakerStreet,orTadmorinthewilderness.
Ladies,areyouawarethatthegreatPittlivedinBakerStreet?
WhatwouldnotyourgrandmothershavegiventobeaskedtoLadyHester’spartiesinthatnowdecayedmansion?
Ihavedinedinit—moiquivousparle,Ipeopledthechamberwithghostsofthemightydead.
Aswesatsoberlydrinkingclarettherewithmenofto-day,thespiritsofthedepartedcameinandtooktheirplacesroundthedarksomeboard.
Thepilotwhoweatheredthestormtossedoffgreatbumpersofspiritualport;theshadeofDundasdidnotleavetheghostofaheeltap.
Addingtonsatbowingandsmirkinginaghastlymanner,andwouldnotbebehindhandwhenthenoiselessbottlewentround;Scott,fromunderbushyeyebrows,winkedattheapparitionofabeeswing;Wilberforce’seyeswentuptotheceiling,sothathedidnotseemtoknowhowhisglasswentupfulltohismouthandcamedownempty;uptotheceilingwhichwasaboveusonlyyesterday,andwhichthegreatofthepastdayshavealllookedat.
Theyletthehouseasafurnishedlodgingnow.
Yes,LadyHesteroncelivedinBakerStreet,andliesasleepinthewilderness.
Eothensawherthere—notinBakerStreet,butintheothersolitude.
Itisallvanitytobesure,butwhowillnotowntolikingalittleofit?
Ishouldliketoknowwhatwell-constitutedmind,merelybecauseitistransitory,dislikesroastbeef?
Thatisavanity,butmayeverymanwhoreadsthishaveawholesomeportionofitthroughlife,Ibeg:aye,thoughmyreaderswerefivehundredthousand.
Sitdown,gentlemen,andfallto,withagoodheartyappetite;thefat,thelean,thegravy,thehorse-radishasyoulikeit—don’tspareit.
Anotherglassofwine,Jones,myboy—alittlebitoftheSundayside.
Yes,letuseatourfillofthevainthingandbethankfultherefor.
AndletusmakethebestofBecky’saristocraticpleasureslikewise—forthesetoo,likeallothermortaldelights,werebuttransitory.
TheupshotofhervisittoLordSteynewasthatHisHighnessthePrinceofPeterwaradintookoccasiontorenewhisacquaintancewithColonelCrawley,whentheymetonthenextdayattheClub,andtocomplimentMrs.CrawleyintheRingofHydeParkwithaprofoundsaluteofthehat.
SheandherhusbandwereinvitedimmediatelytooneofthePrince’ssmallpartiesatLevantHouse,thenoccupiedbyHisHighnessduringthetemporaryabsencefromEnglandofitsnobleproprietor.
Shesangafterdinnertoaverylittlecomite.
TheMarquisofSteynewaspresent,paternallysuperintendingtheprogressofhispupil.
AtLevantHouseBeckymetoneofthefinestgentlemenandgreatestministersthatEuropehasproduced—theDucdelaJabotiere,thenAmbassadorfromtheMostChristianKing,andsubsequentlyMinistertothatmonarch.
IdeclareIswellwithprideastheseaugustnamesaretranscribedbymypen,andIthinkinwhatbrilliantcompanymydearBeckyismoving.
ShebecameaconstantguestattheFrenchEmbassy,wherenopartywasconsideredtobecompletewithoutthepresenceofthecharmingMadameRavdonnCravley.
MessieursdeTruffigny(ofthePerigordfamily)andChampignac,bothattachesoftheEmbassy,werestraightwaysmittenbythecharmsofthefairColonel’swife,andbothdeclared,accordingtothewontoftheirnation(forwhoeveryetmetaFrenchman,comeoutofEngland,thathasnotlefthalfadozenfamiliesmiserable,andbroughtawayasmanyheartsinhispocket-book?)
,both,Isay,declaredthattheywereaumieuxwiththecharmingMadameRavdonn.
ButIdoubtthecorrectnessoftheassertion.
Champignacwasveryfondofecarte,andmademanypartieswiththeColonelofevenings,whileBeckywassingingtoLordSteyneintheotherroom;andasforTruffigny,itisawell-knownfactthathedarednotgototheTravellers’,whereheowedmoneytothewaiters,andifhehadnothadtheEmbassyasadining-place,theworthyyounggentlemanmusthavestarved.
Idoubt,Isay,thatBeckywouldhaveselectedeitheroftheseyoungmenasapersononwhomshewouldbestowherspecialregard.
Theyranofhermessages,purchasedherglovesandflowers,wentindebtforopera-boxesforher,andmadethemselvesamiableinathousandways.
AndtheytalkedEnglishwithadorablesimplicity,andtotheconstantamusementofBeckyandmyLordSteyne,shewouldmimiconeorothertohisface,andcomplimenthimonhisadvanceintheEnglishlanguagewithagravitywhichneverfailedtotickletheMarquis,hersardonicoldpatron.
TruffignygaveBriggsashawlbywayofwinningoverBecky’sconfidante,andaskedhertotakechargeofaletterwhichthesimplespinsterhandedoverinpublictothepersontowhomitwasaddressed,andthecompositionofwhichamusedeverybodywhoreaditgreatly.
LordSteynereadit,everybodybuthonestRawdon,towhomitwasnotnecessarytotelleverythingthatpassedinthelittlehouseinMayFair.
Here,beforelong,Beckyreceivednotonly“thebest”foreigners(asthephraseisinournobleandadmirablesocietyslang),butsomeofthebestEnglishpeopletoo.
Idon’tmeanthemostvirtuous,orindeedtheleastvirtuous,orthecleverest,orthestupidest,ortherichest,orthebestborn,but“thebest,”—inaword,peopleaboutwhomthereisnoquestion—suchasthegreatLadyFitz-Willis,thatPatronSaintofAlmack’s,thegreatLadySlowbore,thegreatLadyGrizzelMacbeth(shewasLadyG.Glowry,daughterofLordGreyofGlowry),andthelike.
WhentheCountessofFitz-Willis(herLadyshipisoftheKingstreetfamily,seeDebrettandBurke)takesupaperson,heorsheissafe.
Thereisnoquestionaboutthemanymore.
NotthatmyLadyFitz-Willisisanybetterthananybodyelse,being,onthecontrary,afadedperson,fifty-sevenyearsofage,andneitherhandsome,norwealthy,norentertaining;butitisagreedonallsidesthatsheisofthe“bestpeople.”
Thosewhogotoherareofthebest:andfromanoldgrudgeprobablytoLadySteyne(forwhosecoronetherladyship,thentheyouthfulGeorginaFrederica,daughterofthePrinceofWales’sfavourite,theEarlofPortansherry,hadoncetried),thisgreatandfamousleaderofthefashionchosetoacknowledgeMrs.RawdonCrawley;madeheramostmarkedcurtseyattheassemblyoverwhichshepresided;andnotonlyencouragedherson,St.Kitts(hislordshipgothisplacethroughLordSteyne’sinterest),tofrequentMrs.Crawley’shouse,butaskedhertoherownmansionandspoketohertwiceinthemostpublicandcondescendingmannerduringdinner.
TheimportantfactwasknownalloverLondonthatnight.
PeoplewhohadbeencryingfieaboutMrs.Crawleyweresilent.
Wenham,thewitandlawyer,LordSteyne’sright-handman,wentabouteverywherepraisingher:somewhohadhesitated,cameforwardatonceandwelcomedher;littleTomToady,whohadwarnedSouthdownaboutvisitingsuchanabandonedwoman,nowbesoughttobeintroducedtoher.
Inaword,shewasadmittedtobeamongthe“best”people.
Ah,mybelovedreadersandbrethren,donotenvypoorBeckyprematurely—glorylikethisissaidtobefugitive.
Itiscurrentlyreportedthatevenintheveryinmostcircles,theyarenohappierthanthepoorwanderersoutsidethezone;andBecky,whopenetratedintotheverycentreoffashionandsawthegreatGeorgeIVfacetoface,hasownedsincethattheretoowasVanity.
Wemustbebriefindescantinguponthispartofhercareer.
AsIcannotdescribethemysteriesoffreemasonry,althoughIhaveashrewdideathatitisahumbug,soanuninitiatedmancannottakeuponhimselftoportraythegreatworldaccurately,andhadbestkeephisopinionstohimself,whatevertheyare.
Beckyhasoftenspokeninsubsequentyearsofthisseasonofherlife,whenshemovedamongtheverygreatestcirclesoftheLondonfashion.
Hersuccessexcited,elated,andthenboredher.
Atfirstnooccupationwasmorepleasantthantoinventandprocure(thelatteraworkofnosmalltroubleandingenuity,bytheway,inapersonofMrs.RawdonCrawley’sverynarrowmeans)—toprocure,wesay,theprettiestnewdressesandornaments;todrivetofinedinnerparties,whereshewaswelcomedbygreatpeople;andfromthefinedinnerpartiestofineassemblies,whitherthesamepeoplecamewithwhomshehadbeendining,whomshehadmetthenightbefore,andwouldseeonthemorrow—theyoungmenfaultlesslyappointed,handsomelycravatted,withtheneatestglossybootsandwhitegloves—theeldersportly,brass-buttoned,noble-looking,polite,andprosy—theyoungladiesblonde,timid,andinpink—themothersgrand,beautiful,sumptuous,solemn,andindiamonds.
TheytalkedinEnglish,notinbadFrench,astheydointhenovels.
Theytalkedabouteachothers’houses,andcharacters,andfamilies—justastheJonesesdoabouttheSmiths.
Becky’sformeracquaintanceshatedandenviedher;thepoorwomanherselfwasyawninginspirit.
“IwishIwereoutofit,”shesaidtoherself.
“Iwouldratherbeaparson’swifeandteachaSundayschoolthanthis;orasergeant’sladyandrideintheregimentalwaggon;or,oh,howmuchgayeritwouldbetowearspanglesandtrousersanddancebeforeaboothatafair.”
“Youwoulddoitverywell,”saidLordSteyne,laughing.Sheusedtotellthegreatmanherennuisandperplexitiesinherartlessway—theyamusedhim.
“RawdonwouldmakeaverygoodEcuyer—MasteroftheCeremonies—whatdoyoucallhim—themaninthelargebootsandtheuniform,whogoesroundtheringcrackingthewhip?
Heislarge,heavy,andofamilitaryfigure.
Irecollect,”Beckycontinuedpensively,“myfathertookmetoseeashowatBrookgreenFairwhenIwasachild,andwhenwecamehome,Imademyselfapairofstiltsanddancedinthestudiotothewonderofallthepupils.”
“Ishouldhavelikedtoseeit,”saidLordSteyne.
“Ishouldliketodoitnow,”Beckycontinued.
“HowLadyBlinkeywouldopenhereyes,andLadyGrizzelMacbethwouldstare!Hush!silence!thereisPastabeginningtosing.”
Beckyalwaysmadeapointofbeingconspicuouslypolitetotheprofessionalladiesandgentlemenwhoattendedatthesearistocraticparties—offollowingthemintothecornerswheretheysatinsilence,andshakinghandswiththem,andsmilingintheviewofallpersons.
Shewasanartistherself,asshesaidverytruly;therewasafranknessandhumilityinthemannerinwhichsheacknowledgedherorigin,whichprovoked,ordisarmed,oramusedlookers-on,asthecasemightbe.
“Howcoolthatwomanis,”saidone;“whatairsofindependencesheassumes,wheresheoughttositstillandbethankfulifanybodyspeakstoher!”
“Whatanhonestandgood-naturedsoulsheis!”saidanother.
“Whatanartfullittleminx”saidathird.
Theywereallrightverylikely,butBeckywentherownway,andsofascinatedtheprofessionalpersonagesthattheywouldleaveofftheirsorethroatsinordertosingatherpartiesandgiveherlessonsfornothing.
Yes,shegavepartiesinthelittlehouseinCurzonStreet.
Manyscoresofcarriages,withblazinglamps,blockedupthestreet,tothedisgustofNo.100,whocouldnotrestforthethunderoftheknocking,andof102,whocouldnotsleepforenvy.
ThegiganticfootmenwhoaccompaniedthevehiclesweretoobigtobecontainedinBecky’slittlehall,andwerebilletedoffintheneighbouringpublic-houses,whence,whentheywerewanted,call-boyssummonedthemfromtheirbeer.
ScoresofthegreatdandiesofLondonsqueezedandtrodoneachotheronthelittlestairs,laughingtofindthemselvesthere;andmanyspotlessandsevereladiesoftonwereseatedinthelittledrawing-room,listeningtotheprofessionalsingers,whoweresingingaccordingtotheirwont,andasiftheywishedtoblowthewindowsdown.
Andthedayafter,thereappearedamongthefashionablereunionsintheMorningPostaparagraphtothefollowingeffect:
“Yesterday,ColonelandMrs.CrawleyentertainedaselectpartyatdinnerattheirhouseinMayFair.
TheirExcellenciesthePrinceandPrincessofPeterwaradin,H.E.PapooshPasha,theTurkishAmbassador(attendedbyKibobBey,dragomanofthemission),theMarquessofSteyne,EarlofSouthdown,SirPittandLadyJaneCrawley,Mr.Wagg,&c.
AfterdinnerMrs.CrawleyhadanassemblywhichwasattendedbytheDuchess(Dowager)ofStilton,DucdelaGruyere,MarchionessofCheshire,MarcheseAlessandroStrachino,ComtedeBrie,BaronSchapzuger,ChevalierTosti,CountessofSlingstone,andLadyF.Macadam,Major-GeneralandLadyG.Macbeth,and(2)MissMacbeths;ViscountPaddington,SirHoraceFogey,Hon.SandsBedwin,BobachyBahawder,”andan&c.,whichthereadermayfillathispleasurethroughadozencloselinesofsmalltype.
Andinhercommercewiththegreatourdearfriendshowedthesamefranknesswhichdistinguishedhertransactionswiththelowlyinstation.
Ononeoccasion,whenoutataveryfinehouse,Rebeccawas(perhapsratherostentatiously)holdingaconversationintheFrenchlanguagewithacelebratedtenorsingerofthatnation,whiletheLadyGrizzelMacbethlookedoverhershoulderscowlingatthepair.
“HowverywellyouspeakFrench,”LadyGrizzelsaid,whoherselfspokethetongueinanEdinburghaccentmostremarkabletohear.
“Ioughttoknowit,”Beckymodestlysaid,castingdownhereyes.“Itaughtitinaschool,andmymotherwasaFrenchwoman.”
LadyGrizzelwaswonbyherhumilityandwasmollifiedtowardsthelittlewoman.
Shedeploredthefatallevellingtendenciesoftheage,whichadmittedpersonsofallclassesintothesocietyoftheirsuperiors,butherladyshipownedthatthisoneatleastwaswellbehavedandneverforgotherplaceinlife.
Shewasaverygoodwoman:goodtothepoor;stupid,blameless,unsuspicious.
Itisnotherladyship’sfaultthatshefanciesherselfbetterthanyouandme.
Theskirtsofherancestors’garmentshavebeenkissedforcenturies;itisathousandyears,theysay,sincethetartansoftheheadofthefamilywereembracedbythedefunctDuncan’slordsandcouncillors,whenthegreatancestoroftheHousebecameKingofScotland.
LadySteyne,afterthemusicscene,succumbedbeforeBecky,andperhapswasnotdisinclinedtoher.
TheyoungerladiesofthehouseofGauntwerealsocompelledintosubmission.
Onceortwicetheysetpeopleather,buttheyfailed.
ThebrilliantLadyStunningtontriedapassageofarmswithher,butwasroutedwithgreatslaughterbytheintrepidlittleBecky.
Whenattackedsometimes,Beckyhadaknackofadoptingademureingenueair,underwhichshewasmostdangerous.
Shesaidthewickedestthingswiththemostsimpleunaffectedairwheninthismood,andwouldtakecareartlesslytoapologizeforherblunders,sothatalltheworldshouldknowthatshehadmadethem.
Mr.Wagg,thecelebratedwit,andaledcaptainandtrencher-manofmyLordSteyne,wascausedbytheladiestochargeher;andtheworthyfellow,leeringathispatronessesandgivingthemawink,asmuchastosay,“Nowlookoutforsport,”oneeveningbegananassaultuponBecky,whowasunsuspiciouslyeatingherdinner.
Thelittlewoman,attackedonasudden,butneverwithoutarms,lightedupinaninstant,parriedandripostedwithahome-thrust,whichmadeWagg’sfacetinglewithshame;thenshereturnedtohersoupwiththemostperfectcalmandaquietsmileonherface.
Wagg’sgreatpatron,whogavehimdinnersandlenthimalittlemoneysometimes,andwhoseelection,newspaper,andotherjobsWaggdid,gavethelucklessfellowsuchasavageglancewiththeeyesasalmostmadehimsinkunderthetableandburstintotears.
Helookedpiteouslyatmylord,whoneverspoketohimduringdinner,andattheladies,whodisownedhim.
AtlastBeckyherselftookcompassionuponhimandtriedtoengagehimintalk.
Hewasnotaskedtodinneragainforsixweeks;andFiche,mylord’sconfidentialman,towhomWaggnaturallypaidagooddealofcourt,wasinstructedtotellhimthatifheeverdaredtosayarudethingtoMrs.Crawleyagain,ormakeherthebuttofhisstupidjokes,Milorwouldputeveryoneofhisnotesofhandintohislawyer’shandsandsellhimupwithoutmercy.
WaggweptbeforeFicheandimploredhisdearfriendtointercedeforhim.
HewroteapoeminfavourofMrs.R.C.,whichappearedintheverynextnumberoftheHarum-scarumMagazine,whichheconducted.
Heimploredhergood-willatpartieswherehemether.
HecringedandcoaxedRawdonattheclub.
HewasallowedtocomebacktoGauntHouseafterawhile.
Beckywasalwaysgoodtohim,alwaysamused,neverangry.
Hislordship’svizierandchiefconfidentialservant(withaseatinparliamentandatthedinnertable),Mr.Wenham,wasmuchmoreprudentinhisbehaviourandopinionsthanMr.Wagg.
Howevermuchhemightbedisposedtohateallparvenus(Mr.WenhamhimselfwasastauncholdTrueBlueTory,andhisfatherasmallcoal-merchantinthenorthofEngland),thisaide-de-campoftheMarquisnevershowedanysortofhostilitytothenewfavourite,butpursuedherwithstealthykindnessesandaslyanddeferentialpolitenesswhichsomehowmadeBeckymoreuneasythanotherpeople’soverthostilities.
HowtheCrawleysgotthemoneywhichwasspentupontheentertainmentswithwhichtheytreatedthepoliteworldwasamysterywhichgaverisetosomeconversationatthetime,andprobablyaddedzesttotheselittlefestivities.
SomepersonsaverredthatSirPittCrawleygavehisbrotherahandsomeallowance;ifhedid,Becky’spowerovertheBaronetmusthavebeenextraordinaryindeed,andhischaractergreatlychangedinhisadvancedage.
OtherpartieshintedthatitwasBecky’shabittolevycontributionsonallherhusband’sfriends:goingtothisoneintearswithanaccountthattherewasanexecutioninthehouse;fallingonherkneestothatoneanddeclaringthatthewholefamilymustgotogaolorcommitsuicideunlesssuchandsuchabillcouldbepaid.
LordSouthdown,itwassaid,hadbeeninducedtogivemanyhundredsthroughthesepatheticrepresentations.
YoungFeltham,ofthe—thDragoons(andsonofthefirmofTilerandFeltham,hattersandarmyaccoutrementmakers),andwhomtheCrawleysintroducedintofashionablelife,wasalsocitedasoneofBecky’svictimsinthepecuniaryway.
Peopledeclaredthatshegotmoneyfromvarioussimplydisposedpersons,underpretenceofgettingthemconfidentialappointmentsunderGovernment.
Whoknowswhatstorieswereorwerenottoldofourdearandinnocentfriend?
Certainitisthatifshehadhadallthemoneywhichshewassaidtohavebeggedorborrowedorstolen,shemighthavecapitalizedandbeenhonestforlife,whereas,—butthisisadvancingmatters.
Thetruthis,thatbyeconomyandgoodmanagement—byasparinguseofreadymoneyandbypayingscarcelyanybody—peoplecanmanage,foratimeatleast,tomakeagreatshowwithverylittlemeans:anditisourbeliefthatBecky’smuch-talked-ofparties,whichwerenot,afterallwassaid,verynumerous,costthisladyverylittlemorethanthewaxcandleswhichlightedthewalls.
StillbrookandQueen’sCrawleysuppliedherwithgameandfruitinabundance.
LordSteyne’scellarswereatherdisposal,andthatexcellentnobleman’sfamouscookspresidedoverherlittlekitchen,orsentbymylord’sordertherarestdelicaciesfromtheirown.
Iprotestitisquiteshamefulintheworldtoabuseasimplecreature,aspeopleofhertimeabuseBecky,andIwarnthepublicagainstbelievingone-tenthofthestoriesagainsther.
Ifeverypersonistobebanishedfromsocietywhorunsintodebtandcannotpay—ifwearetobepeeringintoeverybody’sprivatelife,speculatingupontheirincome,andcuttingthemifwedon’tapproveoftheirexpenditure—why,whatahowlingwildernessandintolerabledwellingVanityFairwouldbe!
Everyman’shandwouldbeagainsthisneighbourinthiscase,mydearsir,andthebenefitsofcivilizationwouldbedoneawaywith.
Weshouldbequarrelling,abusing,avoidingoneanother.
Ourhouseswouldbecomecaverns,andweshouldgoinragsbecausewecaredfornobody.Rentswouldgodown.Partieswouldn’tbegivenanymore.
Allthetradesmenofthetownwouldbebankrupt.
Wine,wax-lights,comestibles,rouge,crinoline-petticoats,diamonds,wigs,Louis-Quatorzegimcracks,andoldchina,parkhacks,andsplendidhigh-steppingcarriagehorses—allthedelightsoflife,Isay,—wouldgotothedeuce,ifpeopledidbutactupontheirsillyprinciplesandavoidthosewhomtheydislikeandabuse.
Whereas,byalittlecharityandmutualforbearance,thingsaremadetogoonpleasantlyenough:wemayabuseamanasmuchaswelike,andcallhimthegreatestrascalunhanged—butdowewishtohanghimtherefore?No.Weshakehandswhenwemeet.
Ifhiscookisgoodweforgivehimandgoanddinewithhim,andweexpecthewilldothesamebyus.
Thustradeflourishes—civilizationadvances;peaceiskept;newdressesarewantedfornewassemblieseveryweek;andthelastyear’svintageofLafittewillremuneratethehonestproprietorwhorearedit.
Atthetimewhereofwearewriting,thoughtheGreatGeorgewasonthethroneandladiesworegigotsandlargecombsliketortoise-shellshovelsintheirhair,insteadofthesimplesleevesandlovelywreathswhichareactuallyinfashion,themannersoftheverypoliteworldwerenot,Itakeit,essentiallydifferentfromthoseofthepresentday:andtheiramusementsprettysimilar.
Tous,fromtheoutside,gazingoverthepoliceman’sshouldersatthebewilderingbeautiesastheypassintoCourtorball,theymayseembeingsofunearthlysplendourandintheenjoymentofanexquisitehappinessbyusunattainable.
ItistoconsolesomeofthesedissatisfiedbeingsthatwearenarratingourdearBecky’sstruggles,andtriumphs,anddisappointments,ofallofwhich,indeed,asisthecasewithallpersonsofmerit,shehadhershare.
AtthistimetheamiableamusementofactingcharadeshadcomeamongusfromFrance,andwasconsiderablyinvogueinthiscountry,enablingthemanyladiesamongstuswhohadbeautytodisplaytheircharms,andthefewernumberwhohadclevernesstoexhibittheirwit.
MyLordSteynewasincitedbyBecky,whoperhapsbelievedherselfendowedwithboththeabovequalifications,togiveanentertainmentatGauntHouse,whichshouldincludesomeoftheselittledramas—andwemusttakeleavetointroducethereadertothisbrilliantreunion,and,withamelancholywelcometoo,foritwillbeamongtheverylastofthefashionableentertainmentstowhichitwillbeourfortunetoconducthim.
Aportionofthatsplendidroom,thepicturegalleryofGauntHouse,wasarrangedasthecharadetheatre.
IthadbeensousedwhenGeorgeIIIwasking;andapictureoftheMarquisofGauntisstillextant,withhishairinpowderandapinkribbon,inaRomanshape,asitwascalled,enactingthepartofCatoinMr.Addison’stragedyofthatname,performedbeforetheirRoyalHighnessesthePrinceofWales,theBishopofOsnaburgh,andPrinceWilliamHenry,thenchildrenliketheactor.
Oneortwooftheoldpropertiesweredrawnoutofthegarrets,wheretheyhadlaineversince,andfurbishedupanewforthepresentfestivities.
YoungBedwinSands,thenanelegantdandyandEasterntraveller,wasmanageroftherevels.
AnEasterntravellerwassomebodyinthosedays,andtheadventurousBedwin,whohadpublishedhisquartoandpassedsomemonthsunderthetentsinthedesert,wasapersonageofnosmallimportance.
InhisvolumetherewereseveralpicturesofSandsinvariousorientalcostumes;andhetravelledaboutwithablackattendantofmostunprepossessingappearance,justlikeanotherBriandeBoisGuilbert.
Bedwin,hiscostumes,andblackman,werehailedatGauntHouseasveryvaluableacquisitions.
Heledoffthefirstcharade.ATurkishofficerwithanimmenseplumeoffeathers(theJanizariesweresupposedtobestillinexistence,andthetarbooshhadnotasyetdisplacedtheancientandmajestichead-dressofthetruebelievers)wasseencouchedonadivan,andmakingbelievetopuffatanarghile,inwhich,however,forthesakeoftheladies,onlyafragrantpastillewasallowedtosmoke.
TheTurkishdignitaryyawnsandexpressessignsofwearinessandidleness.
HeclapshishandsandMesrourtheNubianappears,withbarearms,bangles,yataghans,andeveryEasternornament—gaunt,tall,andhideous.
HemakesasalaambeforemylordtheAga.
Athrillofterroranddelightrunsthroughtheassembly.Theladieswhispertooneanother.
TheblackslavewasgiventoBedwinSandsbyanEgyptianpashainexchangeforthreedozenofMaraschino.
HehassewnupeversomanyodalisquesinsacksandtiltedthemintotheNile.
“Bidtheslave-merchantenter,”saystheTurkishvoluptuarywithawaveofhishand.
Mesrourconductstheslave-merchantintomylord’spresence;hebringsaveiledfemalewithhim.Heremovestheveil.
Athrillofapplauseburststhroughthehouse.
ItisMrs.Winkworth(shewasaMissAbsolom)withthebeautifuleyesandhair.
Sheisinagorgeousorientalcostume;theblackbraidedlocksaretwinedwithinnumerablejewels;herdressiscoveredoverwithgoldpiastres.
TheodiousMahometanexpresseshimselfcharmedbyherbeauty.
Shefallsdownonherkneesandentreatshimtorestorehertothemountainswhereshewasborn,andwhereherCircassianloverisstilldeploringtheabsenceofhisZuleikah.
NoentreatieswillmovetheobdurateHassan.
HelaughsatthenotionoftheCircassianbridegroom.
Zuleikahcoversherfacewithherhandsanddropsdowninanattitudeofthemostbeautifuldespair.
Thereseemstobenohopeforher,when—whentheKislarAgaappears.
TheKislarAgabringsaletterfromtheSultan.
Hassanreceivesandplacesonhisheadthedreadfirman.
Aghastlyterrorseizeshim,whileontheNegro’sface(itisMesrouragaininanothercostume)appearsaghastlyjoy.“Mercy!mercy!”
criesthePasha:whiletheKislarAga,grinninghorribly,pullsout—abow-string.
Thecurtaindrawsjustasheisgoingtousethatawfulweapon.
Hassanfromwithinbawlsout,“Firsttwosyllables”—andMrs.RawdonCrawley,whoisgoingtoactinthecharade,comesforwardandcomplimentsMrs.Winkworthontheadmirabletasteandbeautyofhercostume.
Thesecondpartofthecharadetakesplace.ItisstillanEasternscene.
Hassan,inanotherdress,isinanattitudebyZuleikah,whoisperfectlyreconciledtohim.
TheKislarAgahasbecomeapeacefulblackslave.
Itissunriseonthedesert,andtheTurksturntheirheadseastwardsandbowtothesand.
Astherearenodromedariesathand,thebandfacetiouslyplays“TheCamelsarecoming.”
AnenormousEgyptianheadfiguresinthescene.
Itisamusicalone—and,tothesurpriseoftheorientaltravellers,singsacomicsong,composedbyMr.Wagg.
TheEasternvoyagersgooffdancing,likePapagenoandtheMoorishKinginTheMagicFlute.“Lasttwosyllables,”roarsthehead.
Thelastactopens.ItisaGreciantentthistime.
Atallandstalwartmanreposesonacouchthere.Abovehimhanghishelmetandshield.Thereisnoneedforthemnow.Iliumisdown.Iphigeniaisslain.
Cassandraisaprisonerinhisouterhalls.
Thekingofmen(itisColonelCrawley,who,indeed,hasnonotionaboutthesackofIliumortheconquestofCassandra),theanaxandronisasleepinhischamberatArgos.
Alampcaststhebroadshadowofthesleepingwarriorflickeringonthewall—theswordandshieldofTroyglitterinitslight.
ThebandplaystheawfulmusicofDonJuan,beforethestatueenters.
Aegisthusstealsinpaleandontiptoe.Whatisthatghastlyfacelookingoutbalefullyafterhimfrombehindthearras?
Heraiseshisdaggertostrikethesleeper,whoturnsinhisbed,andopenshisbroadchestasiffortheblow.
Hecannotstrikethenobleslumberingchieftain.
Clytemnestraglidesswiftlyintotheroomlikeanapparition—herarmsarebareandwhite—hertawnyhairfloatsdownhershoulders—herfaceisdeadlypale—andhereyesarelightedupwithasmilesoghastlythatpeoplequakeastheylookather.
Atremorranthroughtheroom.“GoodGod!”somebodysaid,“it’sMrs.RawdonCrawley.”
ScornfullyshesnatchesthedaggeroutofAegisthus’shandandadvancestothebed.
Youseeitshiningoverherheadintheglimmerofthelamp,and—andthelampgoesout,withagroan,andallisdark.
Thedarknessandthescenefrightenedpeople.
Rebeccaperformedherpartsowell,andwithsuchghastlytruth,thatthespectatorswerealldumb,until,withaburst,allthelampsofthehallblazedoutagain,wheneverybodybegantoshoutapplause.“Brava!brava!”
oldSteyne’sstridentvoicewasheardroaringoveralltherest.
“By—,she’ddoittoo,”hesaidbetweenhisteeth.
Theperformerswerecalledbythewholehouse,whichsoundedwithcriesof“Manager!Clytemnestra!”
Agamemnoncouldnotbegottoshowinhisclassicaltunic,butstoodinthebackgroundwithAegisthusandothersoftheperformersofthelittleplay.
Mr.BedwinSandsledonZuleikahandClytemnestra.
AgreatpersonageinsistedonbeingpresentedtothecharmingClytemnestra.“Heighha?Runhimthroughthebody.Marrysomebodyelse,hay?”
wastheappositeremarkmadebyHisRoyalHighness.
“Mrs.RawdonCrawleywasquitekillinginthepart,”saidLordSteyne.Beckylaughed,gayandsaucylooking,andswepttheprettiestlittlecurtseyeverseen.
Servantsbroughtinsalverscoveredwithnumerouscooldainties,andtheperformersdisappearedtogetreadyforthesecondcharade-tableau.
Thethreesyllablesofthischaradeweretobedepictedinpantomime,andtheperformancetookplaceinthefollowingwise:
Firstsyllable.ColonelRawdonCrawley,C.B.,withaslouchedhatandastaff,agreat-coat,andalanternborrowedfromthestables,passedacrossthestagebawlingout,asifwarningtheinhabitantsofthehour.
Inthelowerwindowareseentwobagmenplayingapparentlyatthegameofcribbage,overwhichtheyyawnmuch.
TothementersonelookinglikeBoots(theHonourableG.Ringwood),whichcharactertheyounggentlemanperformedtoperfection,anddiveststhemoftheirlowercoverings;andpresentlyChambermaid(theRightHonourableLordSouthdown)withtwocandlesticks,andawarming-pan.
Sheascendstotheupperapartmentandwarmsthebed.
Sheusesthewarming-panasaweaponwherewithshewardsofftheattentionofthebagmen.Sheexits.
Theyputontheirnight-capsandpulldowntheblinds.
Bootscomesoutandclosestheshuttersoftheground-floorchamber.
Youhearhimboltingandchainingthedoorwithin.Allthelightsgoout.
ThemusicplaysDormez,dormez,chersAmours.
Avoicefrombehindthecurtainsays,“Firstsyllable.”
Secondsyllable.Thelampsarelightedupallofasudden.
ThemusicplaystheoldairfromJohnofParis,Ahquelplaisird’etreenvoyage.Itisthesamescene.
Betweenthefirstandsecondfloorsofthehouserepresented,youbeholdasignonwhichtheSteynearmsarepainted.
Allthebellsareringingalloverthehouse.
Inthelowerapartmentyouseeamanwithalongslipofpaperpresentingittoanother,whoshakeshisfists,threatensandvowsthatitismonstrous.
“Ostler,bringroundmygig,”criesanotheratthedoor.
HechucksChambermaid(theRightHonourableLordSouthdown)underthechin;sheseemstodeplorehisabsence,asCalypsodidthatofthatothereminenttravellerUlysses.
Boots(theHonourableG.Ringwood)passeswithawoodenbox,containingsilverflagons,andcries“Pots”withsuchexquisitehumourandnaturalnessthatthewholehouseringswithapplause,andabouquetisthrowntohim.Crack,crack,crack,gothewhips.
Landlord,chambermaid,waiterrushtothedoor,butjustassomedistinguishedguestisarriving,thecurtainsclose,andtheinvisibletheatricalmanagercriesout“Secondsyllable.”
“Ithinkitmustbe‘Hotel,’”saysCaptainGriggoftheLifeGuards;thereisagenerallaughattheCaptain’scleverness.Heisnotveryfarfromthemark.
Whilethethirdsyllableisinpreparation,thebandbeginsanauticalmedley—”AllintheDowns,”“CeaseRudeBoreas,”“RuleBritannia,”“IntheBayofBiscayO!”
—somemaritimeeventisabouttotakeplace.
Abenisheardringingasthecurtaindrawsaside.“Now,gents,fortheshore!”avoiceexclaims.Peopletakeleaveofeachother.
Theypointanxiouslyasiftowardstheclouds,whicharerepresentedbyadarkcurtain,andtheynodtheirheadsinfear.
LadySqueams(theRightHonourableLordSouthdown),herlap-dog,herbags,reticules,andhusbandsitdown,andclingholdofsomeropes.Itisevidentlyaship.
TheCaptain(ColonelCrawley,C.B.),withacockedhatandatelescope,comesin,holdinghishatonhishead,andlooksout;hiscoattailsflyaboutasifinthewind.
Whenheleavesgoofhishattousehistelescope,hishatfliesoff,withimmenseapplause.Itisblowingfresh.
Themusicrisesandwhistleslouderandlouder;themarinersgoacrossthestagestaggering,asiftheshipwasinseveremotion.
TheSteward(theHonourableG.Ringwood)passesreelingby,holdingsixbasins.
HeputsonerapidlybyLordSqueams—LadySqueams,givingapinchtoherdog,whichbeginstohowlpiteously,putsherpocket-handkerchieftoherface,andrushesawayasforthecabin.
Themusicrisesuptothewildestpitchofstormyexcitement,andthethirdsyllableisconcluded.
Therewasalittleballet,“LeRossignol,”inwhichMontessuandNobletusedtobefamousinthosedays,andwhichMr.WaggtransferredtotheEnglishstageasanopera,puttinghisverse,ofwhichhewasaskilfulwriter,totheprettyairsoftheballet.
ItwasdressedinoldFrenchcostume,andlittleLordSouthdownnowappearedadmirablyattiredinthedisguiseofanoldwomanhobblingaboutthestagewithafaultlesscrookedstick.
Trillsofmelodywereheardbehindthescenes,andgurglingfromasweetpasteboardcottagecoveredwithrosesandtrelliswork.“Philomele,Philomele,”criestheoldwoman,andPhilomelecomesout.
Moreapplause—itisMrs.RawdonCrawleyinpowderandpatches,themostravissantelittleMarquiseintheworld.
Shecomesinlaughing,humming,andfrisksaboutthestagewithalltheinnocenceoftheatricalyouth—shemakesacurtsey.
Mammasays“Why,child,youarealwayslaughingandsinging,”andawayshegoes,with—
THEROSEUPONMYBALCONY
TheroseuponmybalconythemorningairperfumingWasleaflessallthewintertimeandpiningforthespring;Youaskmewhyherbreathissweetandwhyhercheekisblooming,Itisbecausethesunisoutandbirdsbegintosing.
Thenightingale,whosemelodyisthroughthegreenwoodringing,Wassilentwhentheboughswerebareandwindswereblowingkeen:Andif,Mamma,youaskofmethereasonofhissinging,Itisbecausethesunisoutandalltheleavesaregreen.
Thuseachperformshispart,Mamma,thebirdshavefoundtheirvoices,Theblowingroseaflush,Mamma,herbonnycheektodye;Andthere'ssunshineinmyheart,Mamma,whichwakensandrejoices,AndsoIsingandblush,Mamma,andthat'sthereasonwhy.
Duringtheintervalsofthestanzasofthisditty,thegood-naturedpersonageaddressedasMammabythesinger,andwhoselargewhiskersappearedunderhercap,seemedveryanxioustoexhibithermaternalaffectionbyembracingtheinnocentcreaturewhoperformedthedaughter’spart.
Everycaresswasreceivedwithloudacclamationsoflaughterbythesympathizingaudience.
Atitsconclusion(whilethemusicwasperformingasymphonyasifeversomanybirdswerewarbling)thewholehousewasunanimousforanencore:andapplauseandbouquetswithoutendwereshoweredupontheNightingaleoftheevening.
LordSteyne’svoiceofapplausewasloudestofall.
Becky,thenightingale,tooktheflowerswhichhethrewtoherandpressedthemtoherheartwiththeairofaconsummatecomedian.LordSteynewasfranticwithdelight.
Hisguests’enthusiasmharmonizedwithhisown.
Wherewasthebeautifulblack-eyedHouriwhoseappearanceinthefirstcharadehadcausedsuchdelight?
ShewastwiceashandsomeasBecky,butthebrilliancyofthelatterhadquiteeclipsedher.Allvoiceswereforher.
Stephens,Caradori,RonzideBegnis,peoplecomparedhertooneortheother,andagreedwithgoodreason,verylikely,thathadshebeenanactressnoneonthestagecouldhavesurpassedher.
Shehadreachedherculmination:hervoicerosetrillingandbrightoverthestormofapplause,andsoaredashighandjoyfulashertriumph.
Therewasaballafterthedramaticentertainments,andeverybodypressedroundBeckyasthegreatpointofattractionoftheevening.
TheRoyalPersonagedeclaredwithanoaththatshewasperfection,andengagedheragainandagaininconversation.
LittleBecky’ssoulswelledwithprideanddelightatthesehonours;shesawfortune,fame,fashionbeforeher.
LordSteynewasherslave,followedhereverywhere,andscarcelyspoketoanyoneintheroombeside,andpaidherthemostmarkedcomplimentsandattention.
ShestillappearedinherMarquisecostumeanddancedaminuetwithMonsieurdeTruffigny,MonsieurLeDucdelaJabotiere’sattache;andtheDuke,whohadallthetraditionsoftheancientcourt,pronouncedthatMadameCrawleywasworthytohavebeenapupilofVestris,ortohavefiguredatVersailles.
Onlyafeelingofdignity,thegout,andthestrongestsenseofdutyandpersonalsacrificepreventedhisExcellencyfromdancingwithherhimself,andhedeclaredinpublicthataladywhocouldtalkanddancelikeMrs.RawdonwasfittobeambassadressatanycourtinEurope.
HewasonlyconsoledwhenheheardthatshewashalfaFrenchwomanbybirth.
“Nonebutacompatriot,”hisExcellencydeclared,“couldhaveperformedthatmajesticdanceinsuchaway.”
ThenshefiguredinawaltzwithMonsieurdeKlingenspohr,thePrinceofPeterwaradin’scousinandattache.
ThedelightedPrince,havinglessretenuethanhisFrenchdiplomaticcolleague,insistedupontakingaturnwiththecharmingcreature,andtwirledroundtheball-roomwithher,scatteringthediamondsoutofhisboot-tasselsandhussarjacketuntilhisHighnesswasfairlyoutofbreath.
PapooshPashahimselfwouldhavelikedtodancewithherifthatamusementhadbeenthecustomofhiscountry.
ThecompanymadeacircleroundherandapplaudedaswildlyasifshehadbeenaNobletoraTaglioni.
Everybodywasinecstacy;andBeckytoo,youmaybesure.
ShepassedbyLadyStunningtonwithalookofscorn.
ShepatronizedLadyGauntandherastonishedandmortifiedsister-in-law—sheecrasedallrivalcharmers.
AsforpoorMrs.Winkworth,andherlonghairandgreateyes,whichhadmadesuchaneffectatthecommencementoftheevening—wherewasshenow?Nowhereintherace.
Shemighttearherlonghairandcryhergreateyesout,buttherewasnotapersontoheedortodeplorethediscomfiture.
Thegreatesttriumphofallwasatsuppertime.
ShewasplacedatthegrandexclusivetablewithhisRoyalHighnesstheexaltedpersonagebeforementioned,andtherestofthegreatguests.Shewasservedongoldplate.
Shemighthavehadpearlsmeltedintoherchampagneifsheliked—anotherCleopatra—andthepotentateofPeterwaradinwouldhavegivenhalfthebrilliantsoffhisjacketforakindglancefromthosedazzlingeyes.
Jabotierewrotehomeabouthertohisgovernment.
Theladiesattheothertables,whosuppedoffmeresilverandmarkedLordSteyne’sconstantattentiontoher,voweditwasamonstrousinfatuation,agrossinsulttoladiesofrank.
Ifsarcasmcouldhavekilled,LadyStunningtonwouldhaveslainheronthespot.
RawdonCrawleywasscaredatthesetriumphs.Theyseemedtoseparatehiswifefartherthaneverfromhimsomehow.Hethoughtwithafeelingverylikepainhowimmeasurablyshewashissuperior.
Whenthehourofdeparturecame,acrowdofyoungmenfollowedhertohercarriage,forwhichthepeoplewithoutbawled,thecrybeingcaughtupbythelink-menwhowerestationedoutsidethetallgatesofGauntHouse,congratulatingeachpersonwhoissuedfromthegateandhopinghisLordshiphadenjoyedthisnobleparty.
Mrs.RawdonCrawley’scarriage,cominguptothegateafterdueshouting,rattledintotheilluminatedcourt-yardanddroveuptothecoveredway.
Rawdonputhiswifeintothecarriage,whichdroveoff.
Mr.Wenhamhadproposedtohimtowalkhome,andofferedtheColoneltherefreshmentofacigar.
Theylightedtheircigarsbythelampofoneofthemanylink-boysoutside,andRawdonwalkedonwithhisfriendWenham.
Twopersonsseparatedfromthecrowdandfollowedthetwogentlemen;andwhentheyhadwalkeddownGauntSquareafewscoreofpaces,oneofthemencameupand,touchingRawdonontheshoulder,said,“Begyourpardon,Colonel,Ivishtospeaktoyoumostparticular.”
Thisgentleman’sacquaintancegavealoudwhistleasthelatterspoke,atwhichsignalacabcameclatteringupfromthosestationedatthegateofGauntHouse—andtheaide-de-campranroundandplacedhimselfinfrontofColonelCrawley.
Thatgallantofficeratonceknewwhathadbefallenhim.Hewasinthehandsofthebailiffs.Hestartedback,fallingagainstthemanwhohadfirsttouchedhim.
“We’rethreeonus—it’snousebolting,”themanbehindsaid.
“It’syou,Moss,isit?”saidtheColonel,whoappearedtoknowhisinterlocutor.“Howmuchisit?”
“Onlyasmallthing,”whisperedMr.Moss,ofCursitorStreet,ChanceryLane,andassistantofficertotheSheriffofMiddlesex—“Onehundredandsixty-six,sixandeight-pence,atthesuitofMr.Nathan.”
“Lendmeahundred,Wenham,forGod’ssake,”poorRawdonsaid—”I’vegotseventyathome.”
“I’venotgottenpoundsintheworld,”saidpoorMr.Wenham—”Goodnight,mydearfellow.”
“Goodnight,”saidRawdonruefully.AndWenhamwalkedaway—andRawdonCrawleyfinishedhiscigarasthecabdroveunderTempleBar.
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