English
Thekindreadermustpleasetoremember—whilethearmyismarchingfromFlanders,and,afteritsheroicactionsthere,isadvancingtotakethefortificationsonthefrontiersofFrance,previoustoanoccupationofthatcountry—thatthereareanumberofpersonslivingpeaceablyinEnglandwhohavetodowiththehistoryatpresentinhand,andmustcomeinfortheirshareofthechronicle.
Duringthetimeofthesebattlesanddangers,oldMissCrawleywaslivingatBrighton,verymoderatelymovedbythegreateventsthatweregoingon.
Thegreateventsrenderedthenewspapersratherinteresting,tobesure,andBriggsreadouttheGazette,inwhichRawdonCrawley’sgallantrywasmentionedwithhonour,andhispromotionwaspresentlyrecorded.
“Whatapitythatyoungmanhastakensuchanirretrievablestepintheworld!”
hisauntsaid;“withhisrankanddistinctionhemighthavemarriedabrewer’sdaughterwithaquarterofamillion—likeMissGrains;orhavelookedtoallyhimselfwiththebestfamiliesinEngland.
Hewouldhavehadmymoneysomedayorother;orhischildrenwould—forI’mnotinahurrytogo,MissBriggs,althoughyoumaybeinahurrytoberidofme;andinsteadofthat,heisadoomedpauper,withadancing-girlforawife.”
“WillmydearMissCrawleynotcastaneyeofcompassionupontheheroicsoldier,whosenameisinscribedintheannalsofhiscountry’sglory?”
saidMissBriggs,whowasgreatlyexcitedbytheWaterlooproceedings,andlovedspeakingromanticallywhentherewasanoccasion.
“HasnottheCaptain—ortheColonelasImaynowstylehim—donedeedswhichmakethenameofCrawleyillustrious?”
“Briggs,youareafool,”saidMissCrawley:“ColonelCrawleyhasdraggedthenameofCrawleythroughthemud,MissBriggs.
Marryadrawing-master’sdaughter,indeed!
—marryadamedecompagnie—forshewasnobetter,Briggs;no,shewasjustwhatyouare—onlyyounger,andagreatdealprettierandcleverer.
Wereyouanaccompliceofthatabandonedwretch,Iwonder,ofwhosevileartshebecameavictim,andofwhomyouusedtobesuchanadmirer?Yes,Idaresayyouwereanaccomplice.
Butyouwillfindyourselfdisappointedinmywill,Icantellyou:andyouwillhavethegoodnesstowritetoMr.Waxy,andsaythatIdesiretoseehimimmediately.”
MissCrawleywasnowinthehabitofwritingtoMr.Waxyhersolicitoralmosteverydayintheweek,forherarrangementsrespectingherpropertywereallrevoked,andherperplexitywasgreatastothefuturedispositionofhermoney.
Thespinsterhad,however,ralliedconsiderably;aswasprovedbytheincreasedvigourandfrequencyofhersarcasmsuponMissBriggs,allwhichattacksthepoorcompanionborewithmeekness,withcowardice,witharesignationthatwashalfgenerousandhalfhypocritical—withtheslavishsubmission,inaword,thatwomenofherdispositionandstationarecompelledtoshow.Whohasnotseenhowwomenbullywomen?
Whattortureshavementoendure,comparabletothosedailyrepeatedshaftsofscornandcrueltywithwhichpoorwomenareriddledbythetyrantsoftheirsex?Poorvictims!
Butwearestartingfromourproposition,whichis,thatMissCrawleywasalwaysparticularlyannoyingandsavagewhenshewasrallyingfromillness—astheysaywoundstinglemostwhentheyareabouttoheal.
Whilethusapproaching,asallhoped,toconvalescence,MissBriggswastheonlyvictimadmittedintothepresenceoftheinvalid;yetMissCrawley’srelativesafaroffdidnotforgettheirbelovedkinswoman,andbyanumberoftokens,presents,andkindaffectionatemessages,strovetokeepthemselvesaliveinherrecollection.
Inthefirstplace,letusmentionhernephew,RawdonCrawley.
AfewweeksafterthefamousfightofWaterloo,andaftertheGazettehadmadeknowntoherthepromotionandgallantryofthatdistinguishedofficer,theDieppepacketbroughtovertoMissCrawleyatBrighton,aboxcontainingpresents,andadutifulletter,fromtheColonelhernephew.
IntheboxwereapairofFrenchepaulets,aCrossoftheLegionofHonour,andthehiltofasword—relicsfromthefieldofbattle:andtheletterdescribedwithagooddealofhumourhowthelatterbelongedtoacommandingofficeroftheGuard,whohavingswornthat“theGuarddied,butneversurrendered,”wastakenprisonerthenextminutebyaprivatesoldier,whobroketheFrenchman’sswordwiththebuttofhismusket,whenRawdonmadehimselfmasteroftheshatteredweapon.
Asforthecrossandepaulets,theycamefromaColonelofFrenchcavalry,whohadfallenundertheaide-de-camp’sarminthebattle:andRawdonCrawleydidnotknowwhatbettertodowiththespoilsthantosendthemtohiskindestandmostaffectionateoldfriend.
ShouldhecontinuetowritetoherfromParis,whitherthearmywasmarching?
Hemightbeabletogiveherinterestingnewsfromthatcapital,andofsomeofMissCrawley’soldfriendsoftheemigration,towhomshehadshownsomuchkindnessduringtheirdistress.
ThespinstercausedBriggstowritebacktotheColonelagraciousandcomplimentaryletter,encouraginghimtocontinuehiscorrespondence.
Hisfirstletterwassoexcessivelylivelyandamusingthatsheshouldlookwithpleasureforitssuccessors.
—”Ofcourse,Iknow,”sheexplainedtoMissBriggs,“thatRawdoncouldnotwritesuchagoodletteranymorethanyoucould,mypoorBriggs,andthatitisthatcleverlittlewretchofaRebecca,whodictateseverywordtohim;butthatisnoreasonwhymynephewshouldnotamuseme;andsoIwishtolethimunderstandthatIaminhighgoodhumour.”
IwonderwhethersheknewthatitwasnotonlyBeckywhowrotetheletters,butthatMrs.Rawdonactuallytookandsenthomethetrophieswhichsheboughtforafewfrancs,fromoneoftheinnumerablepedlarswhoimmediatelybegantodealinrelicsofthewar.
Thenovelist,whoknowseverything,knowsthisalso.
Bethis,however,asitmay,MissCrawley’sgraciousreplygreatlyencouragedouryoungfriends,Rawdonandhislady,whohopedforthebestfromtheiraunt’sevidentlypacifiedhumour:andtheytookcaretoentertainherwithmanydelightfullettersfromParis,whither,asRawdonsaid,theyhadthegoodlucktogointhetrackoftheconqueringarmy.
Totherector’slady,whowentofftotendherhusband’sbrokencollar-boneattheRectoryatQueen’sCrawley,thespinster’scommunicationswerebynomeanssogracious.
Mrs.Bute,thatbrisk,managing,lively,imperiouswoman,hadcommittedthemostfatalofallerrorswithregardtohersister-in-law.
Shehadnotmerelyoppressedherandherhousehold—shehadboredMissCrawley;andifpoorMissBriggshadbeenawomanofanyspirit,shemighthavebeenmadehappybythecommissionwhichherprincipalgavehertowritealettertoMrs.ButeCrawley,sayingthatMissCrawley’shealthwasgreatlyimprovedsinceMrs.Butehadlefther,andbeggingthelatteronnoaccounttoputherselftotrouble,orquitherfamilyforMissCrawley’ssake.
ThistriumphoveraladywhohadbeenveryhaughtyandcruelinherbehaviourtoMissBriggs,wouldhaverejoicedmostwomen;butthetruthis,Briggswasawomanofnospiritatall,andthemomentherenemywasdiscomfited,shebegantofeelcompassioninherfavour.
“HowsillyIwas,”Mrs.Butethought,andwithreason,“evertohintthatIwascoming,asIdid,inthatfoolishletterwhenwesentMissCrawleytheguinea-fowls.
Ioughttohavegonewithoutawordtothepoordeardotingoldcreature,andtakenheroutofthehandsofthatninnyBriggs,andthatharpyofafemmedechambre.Oh!
Bute,Bute,whydidyoubreakyourcollar-bone?”
Why,indeed?WehaveseenhowMrs.Bute,havingthegameinherhands,hadreallyplayedhercardstoowell.
ShehadruledoverMissCrawley’shouseholdutterlyandcompletely,tobeutterlyandcompletelyroutedwhenafavourableopportunityforrebellioncame.
Sheandherhousehold,however,consideredthatshehadbeenthevictimofhorribleselfishnessandtreason,andthathersacrificesinMissCrawley’sbehalfhadmetwiththemostsavageingratitude.
Rawdon’spromotion,andthehonourablementionmadeofhisnameintheGazette,filledthisgoodChristianladyalsowithalarm.
WouldhisauntrelenttowardshimnowthathewasaLieutenant-ColonelandaC.B.?
andwouldthatodiousRebeccaoncemoregetintofavour?
TheRector’swifewroteasermonforherhusbandaboutthevanityofmilitarygloryandtheprosperityofthewicked,whichtheworthyparsonreadinhisbestvoiceandwithoutunderstandingonesyllableofit.
HehadPittCrawleyforoneofhisauditors—Pitt,whohadcomewithhistwohalf-sisterstochurch,whichtheoldBaronetcouldnowbynomeansbebroughttofrequent.
SincethedepartureofBeckySharp,thatoldwretchhadgivenhimselfupentirelytohisbadcourses,tothegreatscandalofthecountyandthemutehorrorofhisson.
TheribbonsinMissHorrocks’scapbecamemoresplendidthanever.
Thepolitefamiliesfledthehallanditsownerinterror.
SirPittwentabouttipplingathistenants’houses;anddrankrum-and-waterwiththefarmersatMudburyandtheneighbouringplacesonmarket-days.
Hedrovethefamilycoach-and-fourtoSouthamptonwithMissHorrocksinside:andthecountypeopleexpected,everyweek,ashissondidinspeechlessagony,thathismarriagewithherwouldbeannouncedintheprovincialpaper.
ItwasindeedarudeburthenforMr.Crawleytobear.
Hiseloquencewaspalsiedatthemissionarymeetings,andotherreligiousassembliesintheneighbourhood,wherehehadbeeninthehabitofpresiding,andofspeakingforhours;forhefelt,whenherose,thattheaudiencesaid,“ThatisthesonoftheoldreprobateSirPitt,whoisverylikelydrinkingatthepublichouseatthisverymoment.”
AndoncewhenhewasspeakingofthebenightedconditionofthekingofTimbuctoo,andthenumberofhiswiveswhowerelikewiseindarkness,somegipsymiscreantfromthecrowdasked,“HowmanyisthereatQueen’sCrawley,YoungSquaretoes?”
tothesurpriseoftheplatform,andtheruinofMr.Pitt’sspeech.
AndthetwodaughtersofthehouseofQueen’sCrawleywouldhavebeenallowedtorunutterlywild(forSirPittsworethatnogovernessshouldeverenterintohisdoorsagain),hadnotMr.Crawley,bythreateningtheoldgentleman,forcedthelattertosendthemtoschool.
Meanwhile,aswehavesaid,whateverindividualdifferencestheremightbebetweenthemall,MissCrawley’sdearnephewsandnieceswereunanimousinlovingherandsendinghertokensofaffection.
ThusMrs.Butesentguinea-fowls,andsomeremarkablyfinecauliflowers,andaprettypurseorpincushionworkedbyherdarlinggirls,whobeggedtokeepaLITTLEplaceintherecollectionoftheirdearaunt,whileMr.PittsentpeachesandgrapesandvenisonfromtheHall.
TheSouthamptoncoachusedtocarrythesetokensofaffectiontoMissCrawleyatBrighton:itusedsometimestoconveyMr.Pittthithertoo:forhisdifferenceswithSirPittcausedMr.Crawleytoabsenthimselfagooddealfromhomenow:andbesides,hehadanattractionatBrightoninthepersonoftheLadyJaneSheepshanks,whoseengagementtoMr.Crawleyhasbeenformerlymentionedinthishistory.
HerLadyshipandhersisterslivedatBrightonwiththeirmamma,theCountessSouthdown,thatstrong-mindedwomansofavourablyknownintheseriousworld.
AfewwordsoughttobesaidregardingherLadyshipandhernoblefamily,whoareboundbytiesofpresentandfuturerelationshiptothehouseofCrawley.
RespectingthechiefoftheSouthdownfamily,ClementWilliam,fourthEarlofSouthdown,littleneedbetold,exceptthathisLordshipcameintoParliament(asLordWolsey)undertheauspicesofMr.Wilberforce,andforatimewasacredittohispoliticalsponsor,anddecidedlyaseriousyoungman.
Butwordscannotdescribethefeelingsofhisadmirablemother,whenshelearned,veryshortlyafterhernoblehusband’sdemise,thathersonwasamemberofseveralworldlyclubs,hadlostlargelyatplayatWattier’sandtheCocoaTree;thathehadraisedmoneyonpost-obits,andencumberedthefamilyestate;thathedrovefour-in-hand,andpatronisedthering;andthatheactuallyhadanopera-box,whereheentertainedthemostdangerousbachelorcompany.
Hisnamewasonlymentionedwithgroansinthedowager’scircle.
TheLadyEmilywasherbrother’sseniorbymanyyears;andtookconsiderablerankintheseriousworldasauthorofsomeofthedelightfultractsbeforementioned,andofmanyhymnsandspiritualpieces.
Amaturespinster,andhavingbutfaintideasofmarriage,herlovefortheblacksoccupiedalmostallherfeelings.
Itistoher,Ibelieve,weowethatbeautifulpoem.
Leadustosomesunnyisle,Yonderinthewesterndeep;Wheretheskiesforeversmile,Andtheblacksforeverweep,&c.
ShehadcorrespondenceswithclericalgentlemeninmostofourEastandWestIndiapossessions;andwassecretlyattachedtotheReverendSilasHornblower,whowastattooedintheSouthSeaIslands.
AsfortheLadyJane,onwhom,asithasbeensaid,Mr.PittCrawley’saffectionhadbeenplaced,shewasgentle,blushing,silent,andtimid.
Inspiteofhisfallingaway,sheweptforherbrother,andwasquiteashamedoflovinghimstill.
Evenyetsheusedtosendhimlittlehurriedsmugglednotes,andpopthemintothepostinprivate.
Theonedreadfulsecretwhichweigheduponherlifewas,thatsheandtheoldhousekeeperhadbeentopaySouthdownafurtivevisitathischambersintheAlbany;andfoundhim—Othenaughtydearabandonedwretch!
—smokingacigarwithabottleofCuracaobeforehim.
Sheadmiredhersister,sheadoredhermother,shethoughtMr.Crawleythemostdelightfulandaccomplishedofmen,afterSouthdown,thatfallenangel:andhermammaandsister,whowereladiesofthemostsuperiorsort,managedeverythingforher,andregardedherwiththatamiablepity,ofwhichyourreallysuperiorwomanalwayshassuchasharetogiveaway.
Hermammaorderedherdresses,herbooks,herbonnets,andherideasforher.
Shewasmadetotakepony-riding,orpiano-exercise,oranyothersortofbodilymedicament,accordingasmyLadySouthdownsawmeet;andherladyshipwouldhavekeptherdaughterinpinaforesuptoherpresentageofsix-and-twenty,butthattheywerethrownoffwhenLadyJanewaspresentedtoQueenCharlotte.
WhentheseladiesfirstcametotheirhouseatBrighton,itwastothemalonethatMr.Crawleypaidhispersonalvisits,contentinghimselfbyleavingacardathisaunt’shouse,andmakingamodestinquiryofMr.Bowlsorhisassistantfootman,withrespecttothehealthoftheinvalid.
WhenhemetMissBriggscominghomefromthelibrarywithacargoofnovelsunderherarm,Mr.Crawleyblushedinamannerquiteunusualtohim,ashesteppedforwardandshookMissCrawley’scompanionbythehand.
HeintroducedMissBriggstotheladywithwhomhehappenedtobewalking,theLadyJaneSheepshanks,saying,“LadyJane,permitmetointroducetoyoumyaunt’skindestfriendandmostaffectionatecompanion,MissBriggs,whomyouknowunderanothertitle,asauthoressofthedelightful‘LyricsoftheHeart,’ofwhichyouaresofond.”
LadyJaneblushedtooassheheldoutakindlittlehandtoMissBriggs,andsaidsomethingverycivilandincoherentaboutmamma,andproposingtocallonMissCrawley,andbeinggladtobemadeknowntothefriendsandrelativesofMr.Crawley;andwithsoftdove-likeeyessalutedMissBriggsastheyseparated,whilePittCrawleytreatedhertoaprofoundcourtlybow,suchashehadusedtoH.H.theDuchessofPumpernickel,whenhewasattacheatthatcourt.
TheartfuldiplomatistanddiscipleoftheMachiavellianBinkie!
ItwashewhohadgivenLadyJanethatcopyofpoorBriggs’searlypoems,whichherememberedtohaveseenatQueen’sCrawley,withadedicationfromthepoetesstohisfather’slatewife;andhebroughtthevolumewithhimtoBrighton,readingitintheSouthamptoncoachandmarkingitwithhisownpencil,beforehepresentedittothegentleLadyJane.
Itwashe,too,wholaidbeforeLadySouthdownthegreatadvantageswhichmightoccurfromanintimacybetweenherfamilyandMissCrawley—advantagesbothworldlyandspiritual,hesaid:forMissCrawleywasnowquitealone;themonstrousdissipationandallianceofhisbrotherRawdonhadestrangedheraffectionsfromthatreprobateyoungman;thegreedytyrannyandavariceofMrs.ButeCrawleyhadcausedtheoldladytorevoltagainsttheexorbitantpretensionsofthatpartofthefamily;andthoughhehimselfhadheldoffallhislifefromcultivatingMissCrawley’sfriendship,withperhapsanimproperpride,hethoughtnowthateverybecomingmeansshouldbetaken,bothtosavehersoulfromperdition,andtosecureherfortunetohimselfastheheadofthehouseofCrawley.
Thestrong-mindedLadySouthdownquiteagreedinbothproposalsofherson-in-law,andwasforconvertingMissCrawleyoff-hand.
Atherownhome,bothatSouthdownandatTrottermoreCastle,thistallandawfulmissionaryofthetruthrodeaboutthecountryinherbarouchewithoutriders,launchedpacketsoftractsamongthecottagersandtenants,andwouldorderGafferJonestobeconverted,asshewouldorderGoodyHickstotakeaJames’spowder,withoutappeal,resistance,orbenefitofclergy.
MyLordSouthdown,herlatehusband,anepilepticandsimple-mindednobleman,wasinthehabitofapprovingofeverythingwhichhisMatildadidandthought.
Sothatwhateverchangesherownbeliefmightundergo(anditaccommodateditselftoaprodigiousvarietyofopinion,takenfromallsortsofdoctorsamongtheDissenters)shehadnottheleastscrupleinorderingallhertenantsandinferiorstofollowandbelieveafterher.
ThuswhethershereceivedtheReverendSaundersMcNitre,theScotchdivine;ortheReverendLukeWaters,themildWesleyan;ortheReverendGilesJowls,theilluminatedCobbler,whodubbedhimselfReverendasNapoleoncrownedhimselfEmperor—thehousehold,children,tenantryofmyLadySouthdownwereexpectedtogodownontheirkneeswithherLadyship,andsayAmentotheprayersofeitherDoctor.
DuringtheseexercisesoldSouthdown,onaccountofhisinvalidcondition,wasallowedtositinhisownroom,andhavenegusandthepaperreadtohim.
LadyJanewastheoldEarl’sfavouritedaughter,andtendedhimandlovedhimsincerely:asforLadyEmily,theauthoressofthe“WasherwomanofFinchleyCommon,”herdenunciationsoffuturepunishment(atthisperiod,forheropinionsmodifiedafterwards)weresoawfulthattheyusedtofrightenthetimidoldgentlemanherfather,andthephysiciansdeclaredhisfitsalwaysoccurredafteroneofherLadyship’ssermons.
“Iwillcertainlycall,”saidLadySouthdownthen,inreplytotheexhortationofherdaughter’spretendu,Mr.PittCrawley—”WhoisMissCrawley’smedicalman?”
Mr.CrawleymentionedthenameofMr.Creamer.
“Amostdangerousandignorantpractitioner,mydearPitt.
Ihaveprovidentiallybeenthemeansofremovinghimfromseveralhouses:thoughinoneortwoinstancesIdidnotarriveintime.
IcouldnotsavepoordearGeneralGlanders,whowasdyingunderthehandsofthatignorantman—dying.
HeralliedalittleunderthePodgers’pillswhichIadministeredtohim;butalas!itwastoolate.
Hisdeathwasdelightful,however;andhischangewasonlyforthebetter;Creamer,mydearPitt,mustleaveyouraunt.”
Pittexpressedhisperfectacquiescence.
He,too,hadbeencarriedalongbytheenergyofhisnoblekinswoman,andfuturemother-in-law.
HehadbeenmadetoacceptSaundersMcNitre,LukeWaters,GilesJowls,Podgers’Pills,Rodgers’Pills,Pokey’sElixir,everyoneofherLadyship’sremediesspiritualortemporal.
Heneverleftherhousewithoutcarryingrespectfullyawaywithhimpilesofherquacktheologyandmedicine.
O,mydearbrethrenandfellow-sojournersinVanityFair,whichamongyoudoesnotknowandsufferundersuchbenevolentdespots?
Itisinvainyousaytothem,“DearMadam,ItookPodgers’specificatyourorderslastyear,andbelieveinit.
Why,whyamItorecantandaccepttheRodgers’articlesnow?”
Thereisnohelpforit;thefaithfulproselytizer,ifshecannotconvincebyargument,burstsintotears,andtherefusantfindshimself,attheendofthecontest,takingdownthebolus,andsaying,“Well,well,Rodgers’beit.”
“Andasforherspiritualstate,”continuedtheLady,“thatofcoursemustbelookedtoimmediately:withCreamerabouther,shemaygooffanyday:andinwhatacondition,mydearPitt,inwhatadreadfulcondition!
IwillsendtheReverendMr.Ironstoherinstantly.
Jane,writealinetotheReverendBartholomewIrons,inthethirdperson,andsaythatIdesirethepleasureofhiscompanythiseveningatteaathalf-pastsix.
Heisanawakeningman;heoughttoseeMissCrawleybeforeshereststhisnight.
AndEmily,mylove,getreadyapacketofbooksforMissCrawley.
Putup‘AVoicefromtheFlames,’‘ATrumpet-warningtoJericho,’andthe‘FleshpotsBroken;or,theConvertedCannibal.’”
“Andthe‘WasherwomanofFinchleyCommon,’Mamma,”saidLadyEmily.“Itisaswelltobeginsoothinglyatfirst.”
“Stop,mydearladies,”saidPitt,thediplomatist.
“WitheverydeferencetotheopinionofmybelovedandrespectedLadySouthdown,IthinkitwouldbequiteunadvisabletocommencesoearlyuponserioustopicswithMissCrawley.
Rememberherdelicatecondition,andhowlittle,howverylittleaccustomedshehashithertobeentoconsiderationsconnectedwithherimmortalwelfare.”
“Canwethenbegintooearly,Pitt?”saidLadyEmily,risingwithsixlittlebooksalreadyinherhand.
“Ifyoubeginabruptly,youwillfrightenheraltogether.
Iknowmyaunt’sworldlynaturesowellastobesurethatanyabruptattemptatconversionwillbetheveryworstmeansthatcanbeemployedforthewelfareofthatunfortunatelady.Youwillonlyfrightenandannoyher.
Shewillverylikelyflingthebooksaway,andrefuseallacquaintancewiththegivers.”
“YouareasworldlyasMissCrawley,Pitt,”saidLadyEmily,tossingoutoftheroom,herbooksinherhand.
“AndIneednottellyou,mydearLadySouthdown,”Pittcontinued,inalowvoice,andwithoutheedingtheinterruption,“howfatalalittlewantofgentlenessandcautionmaybetoanyhopeswhichwemayentertainwithregardtotheworldlypossessionsofmyaunt.
Remembershehasseventythousandpounds;thinkofherage,andherhighlynervousanddelicatecondition;Iknowthatshehasdestroyedthewillwhichwasmadeinmybrother’s(ColonelCrawley’s)favour:itisbysoothingthatwoundedspiritthatwemustleaditintotherightpath,andnotbyfrighteningit;andsoIthinkyouwillagreewithmethat—that—’
“Ofcourse,ofcourse,”LadySouthdownremarked.
“Jane,mylove,youneednotsendthatnotetoMr.Irons.
Ifherhealthissuchthatdiscussionsfatigueher,wewillwaitheramendment.
IwillcalluponMissCrawleytomorrow.”
“AndifImightsuggest,mysweetlady,”Pittsaidinablandtone,“itwouldbeaswellnottotakeourpreciousEmily,whoistooenthusiastic;butratherthatyoushouldbeaccompaniedbyoursweetanddearLadyJane.”
“Mostcertainly,Emilywouldruineverything,”LadySouthdownsaid;andthistimeagreedtoforegoherusualpractice,whichwas,aswehavesaid,beforesheboredownpersonallyuponanyindividualwhomsheproposedtosubjugate,tofireinaquantityoftractsuponthemenacedparty(asachargeoftheFrenchwasalwaysprecededbyafuriouscannonade).
LadySouthdown,wesay,forthesakeoftheinvalid’shealth,orforthesakeofhersoul’sultimatewelfare,orforthesakeofhermoney,agreedtotemporise.
Thenextday,thegreatSouthdownfemalefamilycarriage,withtheEarl’scoronetandthelozenge(uponwhichthethreelambstrottantargentuponthefieldvertoftheSouthdowns,werequarteredwithsableonabendor,threesnuff-mullsgules,thecognizanceofthehouseofBinkie),droveupinstatetoMissCrawley’sdoor,andthetallseriousfootmanhandedintoMr.BowlsherLadyship’scardsforMissCrawley,andonelikewiseforMissBriggs.
Bywayofcompromise,LadyEmilysentinapacketintheeveningforthelatterlady,containingcopiesofthe“Washerwoman,”andothermildandfavouritetractsforMissB.’sownperusal;andafewfortheservants’hall,viz.:“CrumbsfromthePantry,”“TheFryingPanandtheFire,”and“TheLiveryofSin,”ofamuchstrongerkind.
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