English
Whatisthesecretmesmerismwhichfriendshippossesses,andundertheoperationofwhichapersonordinarilysluggish,orcold,ortimid,becomeswise,active,andresolute,inanother’sbehalf?
AsAlexis,afterafewpassesfromDr.Elliotson,despisespain,readswiththebackofhishead,seesmilesoff,looksintonextweek,andperformsotherwonders,ofwhich,inhisownprivatenormalcondition,heisquiteincapable;soyousee,intheaffairsoftheworldandunderthemagnetismoffriendships,themodestmanbecomesbold,theshyconfident,thelazyactive,ortheimpetuousprudentandpeaceful.
Whatisit,ontheotherhand,thatmakesthelawyereschewhisowncause,andcallinhislearnedbrotherasanadviser?
Andwhatcausesthedoctor,whenailing,tosendforhisrival,andnotsitdownandexaminehisowntongueinthechimneyBass,orwritehisownprescriptionathisstudy-table?
Ithrowoutthesequeriesforintelligentreaderstoanswer,whoknow,atonce,howcredulousweare,andhowsceptical,howsoftandhowobstinate,howfirmforothersandhowdiffidentaboutourselves:meanwhile,itiscertainthatourfriendWilliamDobbin,whowaspersonallyofsocomplyingadispositionthatifhisparentshadpressedhimmuch,itisprobablehewouldhavesteppeddownintothekitchenandmarriedthecook,andwho,tofurtherhisowninterests,wouldhavefoundthemostinsuperabledifficultyinwalkingacrossthestreet,foundhimselfasbusyandeagerintheconductofGeorgeOsborne’saffairs,asthemostselfishtacticiancouldbeinthepursuitofhisown.
WhilstourfriendGeorgeandhisyoungwifewereenjoyingthefirstblushingdaysofthehoneymoonatBrighton,honestWilliamwasleftasGeorge’splenipotentiaryinLondon,totransactallthebusinesspartofthemarriage.
HisdutyitwastocalluponoldSedleyandhiswife,andtokeeptheformeringoodhumour:todrawJosandhisbrother-in-lawnearertogether,sothatJos’spositionanddignity,ascollectorofBoggleyWollah,mightcompensateforhisfather’slossofstation,andtendtoreconcileoldOsbornetothealliance:andfinally,tocommunicateittothelatterinsuchawayasshouldleastirritatetheoldgentleman.
Now,beforehefacedtheheadoftheOsbornehousewiththenewswhichitwashisdutytotell,Dobbinbethoughthimthatitwouldbepolitictomakefriendsoftherestofthefamily,and,ifpossible,havetheladiesonhisside.
Theycan’tbeangryintheirhearts,thoughthe.
Nowomaneverwasreallyangryataromanticmarriage.
Alittlecryingout,andtheymustcomeroundtotheirbrother;whenthethreeofuswilllaysiegetooldMr.Osborne.
SothisMachiavelliancaptainofinfantrycastabouthimforsomehappymeansorstratagembywhichhecouldgentlyandgraduallybringtheMissesOsbornetoaknowledgeoftheirbrother’ssecret.
Byalittleinquiryregardinghismother’sengagements,hewasprettysoonabletofindoutbywhomofherladyship’sfriendspartiesweregivenatthatseason;wherehewouldbelikelytomeetOsborne’ssisters;and,thoughhehadthatabhorrenceofroutsandeveningpartieswhichmanysensiblemen,alas!
entertain,hesoonfoundonewheretheMissesOsborneweretobepresent.
Makinghisappearanceattheball,wherehedancedacoupleofsetswithbothofthem,andwasprodigiouslypolite,heactuallyhadthecouragetoaskMissOsborneforafewminutes’conversationatanearlyhourthenextday,whenhehad,hesaid,tocommunicatetohernewsoftheverygreatestinterest.
Whatwasitthatmadeherstartback,andgazeuponhimforamoment,andthenonthegroundatherfeet,andmakeasifshewouldfaintonhisarm,hadhenotbyopportunelytreadingonhertoes,broughttheyoungladybacktoself-control?
WhywasshesoviolentlyagitatedatDobbin’srequest?Thiscanneverbeknown.
Butwhenhecamethenextday,Mariawasnotinthedrawing-roomwithhersister,andMissWirtwentoffforthepurposeoffetchingthelatter,andtheCaptainandMissOsbornewerelefttogether.
TheywerebothsosilentthattheticktockoftheSacrificeofIphigeniaclockonthemantelpiecebecamequiterudelyaudible.
“Whatanicepartyitwaslastnight,”MissOsborneatlengthbegan,encouragingly;“and—andhowyou’reimprovedinyourdancing,CaptainDobbin.
Surelysomebodyhastaughtyou,”sheadded,withamiablearchness.
“YoushouldseemedanceareelwithMrs.MajorO’Dowdofours;andajig—didyoueverseeajig?ButIthinkanybodycoulddancewithyou,MissOsborne,whodancesowell.”
“IstheMajor’sladyyoungandbeautiful,Captain?”thefairquestionercontinued.
“Ah,whataterriblethingitmustbetobeasoldier’swife!
Iwondertheyhaveanyspiritstodance,andinthesedreadfultimesofwar,too!
OCaptainDobbin,ItremblesometimeswhenIthinkofourdearestGeorge,andthedangersofthepoorsoldier.
Aretheremanymarriedofficersofthe—th,CaptainDobbin?”
“Uponmyword,she’splayingherhandrathertooopenly,”MissWirtthought;butthisobservationismerelyparenthetic,andwasnotheardthroughthecreviceofthedooratwhichthegovernessutteredit.
“Oneofouryoungmenisjustmarried,”Dobbinsaid,nowcomingtothepoint.
“Itwasaveryoldattachment,andtheyoungcoupleareaspooraschurchmice.”“O,howdelightful!O,howromantic!”
MissOsbornecried,astheCaptainsaid“oldattachment”and“poor.”Hersympathyencouragedhim.
“Thefinestyoungfellowintheregiment,”hecontinued.
“Notabraverorhandsomerofficerinthearmy;andsuchacharmingwife!Howyouwouldlikeher!
howyouwilllikeherwhenyouknowher,MissOsborne.”
Theyoungladythoughttheactualmomenthadarrived,andthatDobbin’snervousnesswhichnowcameonandwasvisibleinmanytwitchingsofhisface,inhismannerofbeatingthegroundwithhisgreatfeet,intherapidbuttoningandunbuttoningofhisfrock-coat,&c.—MissOsborne,Isay,thoughtthatwhenhehadgivenhimselfalittleair,hewouldunbosomhimselfentirely,andpreparedeagerlytolisten.
Andtheclock,inthealtaronwhichIphigeniawassituated,beginning,afterapreparatoryconvulsion,totolltwelve,themeretollingseemedasifitwouldlastuntilone—soprolongedwastheknelltotheanxiousspinster.
“Butit’snotaboutmarriagethatIcametospeak—thatisthatmarriage—thatis—no,Imean—mydearMissOsborne,it’saboutourdearfriendGeorge,”Dobbinsaid.
“AboutGeorge?”shesaidinatonesodiscomfitedthatMariaandMissWirtlaughedattheothersideofthedoor,andeventhatabandonedwretchofaDobbinfeltinclinedtosmilehimself;forhewasnotaltogetherunconsciousofthestateofaffairs:Georgehavingoftenbanteredhimgracefullyandsaid,“Hangit,Will,whydon’tyoutakeoldJane?She’llhaveyouifyouaskher.I’llbetyoufivetotwoshewill.”
“Yes,aboutGeorge,then,”hecontinued.
“TherehasbeenadifferencebetweenhimandMr.Osborne.
AndIregardhimsomuch—foryouknowwehavebeenlikebrothers—thatIhopeandpraythequarrelmaybesettled.Wemustgoabroad,MissOsborne.
Wemaybeorderedoffataday’swarning.
Whoknowswhatmayhappeninthecampaign?
Don’tbeagitated,dearMissOsborne;andthosetwoatleastshouldpartfriends.”
“Therehasbeennoquarrel,CaptainDobbin,exceptalittleusualscenewithPapa,”theladysaid.“WeareexpectingGeorgebackdaily.WhatPapawantedwasonlyforhisgood.
Hehasbuttocomeback,andI’msureallwillbewell;anddearRhoda,whowentawayfromhereinsadsadanger,Iknowwillforgivehim.
Womanforgivesbuttooreadily,Captain.”
“SuchanangelasYOUIamsurewould,”Mr.Dobbinsaid,withatrociousastuteness.“Andnomancanpardonhimselfforgivingawomanpain.Whatwouldyoufeel,ifamanwerefaithlesstoyou?”
“Ishouldperish—Ishouldthrowmyselfoutofwindow—Ishouldtakepoison—Ishouldpineanddie.
IknowIshould,”Misscried,whohadneverthelessgonethroughoneortwoaffairsoftheheartwithoutanyideaofsuicide.
“Andthereareothers,”Dobbincontinued,“astrueandaskind-heartedasyourself.
I’mnotspeakingabouttheWestIndianheiress,MissOsborne,butaboutapoorgirlwhomGeorgeonceloved,andwhowasbredfromherchildhoodtothinkofnobodybuthim.
I’veseenherinherpovertyuncomplaining,broken-hearted,withoutafault.ItisofMissSedleyIspeak.
DearMissOsborne,canyourgenerousheartquarrelwithyourbrotherforbeingfaithfultoher?
Couldhisownconscienceeverforgivehimifhedesertedher?
Beherfriend—shealwayslovedyou—and—andIamcomeherechargedbyGeorgetotellyouthatheholdshisengagementtoherasthemostsacreddutyhehas;andtoentreatyou,atleast,tobeonhisside.”
WhenanystrongemotiontookpossessionofMr.Dobbin,andafterthefirstwordortwoofhesitation,hecouldspeakwithperfectfluency,anditwasevidentthathiseloquenceonthisoccasionmadesomeimpressionupontheladywhomheaddressed.
“Well,”saidshe,“thisis—mostsurprising—mostpainful—mostextraordinary—whatwillPapasay?
—thatGeorgeshouldflingawaysuchasuperbestablishmentaswasofferedtohimbutatanyratehehasfoundaverybravechampioninyou,CaptainDobbin.
Itisofnouse,however,”shecontinued,afterapause;“IfeelforpoorMissSedley,mostcertainly—mostsincerely,youknow.
Weneverthoughtthematchagoodone,thoughwewerealwaysverykindtoherhere—very.ButPapawillneverconsent,Iamsure.
Andawellbroughtupyoungwoman,youknow—withawell-regulatedmind,must—Georgemustgiveherup,dearCaptainDobbin,indeedhemust.”
“Oughtamantogiveupthewomanheloved,justwhenmisfortunebefellher?”Dobbinsaid,holdingouthishand.
“DearMissOsborne,isthisthecounselIhearfromyou?Mydearyounglady!youmustbefriendher.Hecan’tgiveherup.Hemustnotgiveherup.
Wouldaman,thinkyou,giveYOUupifyouwerepoor?”
ThisadroitquestiontouchedtheheartofMissJaneOsbornenotalittle.
“Idon’tknowwhetherwepoorgirlsoughttobelievewhatyoumensay,Captain,”shesaid.
“Thereisthatinwoman’stendernesswhichinduceshertobelievetooeasily.
I’mafraidyouarecruel,crueldeceivers,”—andDobbincertainlythoughthefeltapressureofthehandwhichMissOsbornehadextendedtohim.
Hedroppeditinsomealarm.“Deceivers!”saidhe.
“No,dearMissOsborne,allmenarenot;yourbrotherisnot;GeorgehaslovedAmeliaSedleyeversincetheywerechildren;nowealthwouldmakehimmarryanybuther.Oughthetoforsakeher?Wouldyoucounselhimtodoso?”
WhatcouldMissJanesaytosuchaquestion,andwithherownpeculiarviews?
Shecouldnotanswerit,sosheparrieditbysaying,“Well,ifyouarenotadeceiver,atleastyouareveryromantic”;andCaptainWilliamletthisobservationpasswithoutchallenge.
Atlengthwhen,bythehelpoffartherpolitespeeches,hedeemedthatMissOsbornewassufficientlypreparedtoreceivethewholenews,hepoureditintoherear.
“GeorgecouldnotgiveupAmelia—Georgewasmarriedtoher”—andthenherelatedthecircumstancesofthemarriageasweknowthemalready:howthepoorgirlwouldhavediedhadnotherloverkepthisfaith:howOldSedleyhadrefusedallconsenttothematch,andalicencehadbeengot:andJosSedleyhadcomefromCheltenhamtogiveawaythebride:howtheyhadgonetoBrightoninJos’schariot-and-fourtopassthehoneymoon:andhowGeorgecountedonhisdearkindsisterstobefriendhimwiththeirfather,aswomen—sotrueandtenderastheywere—assuredlywoulddo.
Andso,askingpermission(readilygranted)toseeheragain,andrightlyconjecturingthatthenewshehadbroughtwouldbetoldinthenextfiveminutestotheotherladies,CaptainDobbinmadehisbowandtookhisleave.
Hewasscarcelyoutofthehouse,whenMissMariaandMissWirtrushedintoMissOsborne,andthewholewonderfulsecretwasimpartedtothembythatlady.
Todothemjustice,neitherofthesisterswasverymuchdispleased.
Thereissomethingaboutarunawaymatchwithwhichfewladiescanbeseriouslyangry,andAmeliaratherroseintheirestimation,fromthespiritwhichshehaddisplayedinconsentingtotheunion.
Astheydebatedthestory,andprattledaboutit,andwonderedwhatPapawoulddoandsay,camealoudknock,asofanavengingthunder-clap,atthedoor,whichmadetheseconspiratorsstart.ItmustbePapa,theythought.Butitwasnothe.
ItwasonlyMr.FrederickBullock,whohadcomefromtheCityaccordingtoappointment,toconducttheladiestoaflower-show.
Thisgentleman,asmaybeimagined,wasnotkeptlonginignoranceofthesecret.
Buthisface,whenheheardit,showedanamazementwhichwasverydifferenttothatlookofsentimentalwonderwhichthecountenancesofthesisterswore.
Mr.Bullockwasamanoftheworld,andajuniorpartnerofawealthyfirm.
Heknewwhatmoneywas,andthevalueofit:andadelightfulthrobofexpectationlighteduphislittleeyes,andcausedhimtosmileonhisMaria,ashethoughtthatbythispieceoffollyofMr.George’sshemightbeworththirtythousandpoundsmorethanhehadeverhopedtogetwithher.
“Gad!Jane,”saidhe,surveyingeventheeldersisterwithsomeinterest,“Eelswillbesorryhecriedoff.Youmaybeafiftythousandpounderyet.”
Thesistershadneverthoughtofthemoneyquestionuptothatmoment,butFredBullockbanteredthemwithgracefulgaietyaboutitduringtheirforenoon’sexcursion;andtheyhadrisennotalittleintheirownesteembythetimewhen,themorningamusementover,theydrovebacktodinner.
Anddonotletmyrespectedreaderexclaimagainstthisselfishnessasunnatural.
Itwasbutthispresentmorning,asherodeontheomnibusfromRichmond;whileitchangedhorses,thispresentchronicler,beingontheroof,markedthreelittlechildrenplayinginapuddlebelow,verydirty,andfriendly,andhappy.
Tothesethreepresentlycameanotherlittleone.
“POLLY,”saysshe,“YOURSISTER’SGOTAPENNY.”
Atwhichthechildrengotupfromthepuddleinstantly,andranofftopaytheircourttoPeggy.
AndastheomnibusdroveoffIsawPeggywiththeinfantineprocessionathertail,marchingwithgreatdignitytowardsthestallofaneighbouringlollipop-woman.
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