English
LovemaybefeltforanyyoungladyendowedwithsuchqualitiesasMissSwartzpossessed;andagreatdreamofambitionenteredintooldMr.Osborne’ssoul,whichshewastorealize.
Heencouraged,withtheutmostenthusiasmandfriendliness,hisdaughters’amiableattachmenttotheyoungheiress,andprotestedthatitgavehimthesincerestpleasureasafathertoseetheloveofhisgirlssowelldisposed.
“Youwon’tfind,”hewouldsaytoMissRhoda,“thatsplendourandranktowhichyouareaccustomedattheWestEnd,mydearMiss,atourhumblemansioninRussellSquare.
Mydaughtersareplain,disinterestedgirls,buttheirheartsareintherightplace,andthey’veconceivedanattachmentforyouwhichdoesthemhonour—Isay,whichdoesthemhonour.
I’maplain,simple,humbleBritishmerchant—anhonestone,asmyrespectedfriendsHulkerandBullockwillvouch,whowerethecorrespondentsofyourlatelamentedfather.
You’llfindusaunited,simple,happy,andIthinkImaysayrespected,family—aplaintable,aplainpeople,butawarmwelcome,mydearMissRhoda—Rhoda,letmesay,formyheartwarmstoyou,itdoesreally.I’mafrankman,andIlikeyou.AglassofChampagne!Hicks,ChampagnetoMissSwartz.”
ThereislittledoubtthatoldOsbornebelievedallhesaid,andthatthegirlswerequiteearnestintheirprotestationsofaffectionforMissSwartz.
PeopleinVanityFairfastenontorichfolksquitenaturally.
IfthesimplestpeoplearedisposedtolooknotalittlekindlyongreatProsperity(forIdefyanymemberoftheBritishpublictosaythatthenotionofWealthhasnotsomethingawfulandpleasingtohim;andyou,ifyouaretoldthatthemannextyouatdinnerhasgothalfamillion,nottolookathimwithacertaininterest)—ifthesimplelookbenevolentlyonmoney,howmuchmoredoyouroldworldlingsregardit!
Theiraffectionsrushouttomeetandwelcomemoney.
Theirkindsentimentsawakenspontaneouslytowardstheinterestingpossessorsofit.
Iknowsomerespectablepeoplewhodon’tconsiderthemselvesatlibertytoindulgeinfriendshipforanyindividualwhohasnotacertaincompetency,orplaceinsociety.
Theygivealoosetotheirfeelingsonproperoccasions.
Andtheproofis,thatthemajorpartoftheOsbornefamily,whohadnot,infifteenyears,beenabletogetupaheartyregardforAmeliaSedley,becameasfondofMissSwartzinthecourseofasingleeveningasthemostromanticadvocateoffriendshipatfirstsightcoulddesire.
WhatamatchforGeorgeshe’dbe(thesistersandMissWirtagreed),andhowmuchbetterthanthatinsignificantlittleAmelia!
Suchadashingyoungfellowasheis,withhisgoodlooks,rank,andaccomplishments,wouldbetheveryhusbandforher.
VisionsofballsinPortlandPlace,presentationsatCourt,andintroductionstohalfthepeerage,filledthemindsoftheyoungladies;whotalkedofnothingbutGeorgeandhisgrandacquaintancestotheirbelovednewfriend.
OldOsbornethoughtshewouldbeagreatmatch,too,forhisson.
Heshouldleavethearmy;heshouldgointoParliament;heshouldcutafigureinthefashionandinthestate.
HisbloodboiledwithhonestBritishexultation,ashesawthenameofOsborneennobledinthepersonofhisson,andthoughtthathemightbetheprogenitorofagloriouslineofbaronets.
HeworkedintheCityandon‘Change,untilhekneweverythingrelatingtothefortuneoftheheiress,howhermoneywasplaced,andwhereherestateslay.
YoungFredBullock,oneofhischiefinformants,wouldhavelikedtomakeabidforherhimself(itwassotheyoungbankerexpressedit),onlyhewasbookedtoMariaOsborne.
Butnotbeingabletosecureherasawife,thedisinterestedFredquiteapprovedofherasasister-in-law.
“LetGeorgecutindirectlyandwinher,”washisadvice.
“Strikewhiletheiron’shot,youknow—whileshe’sfreshtothetown:inafewweekssomed—-fellowfromtheWestEndwillcomeinwithatitleandarottenrent-rollandcutallusCitymenout,asLordFitzrufusdidlastyearwithMissGrogram,whowasactuallyengagedtoPodder,ofPodder&Brown’s.
Thesooneritisdonethebetter,Mr.Osborne;them’smysentiments,”thewagsaid;though,whenOsbornehadleftthebankparlour,Mr.BullockrememberedAmelia,andwhataprettygirlshewas,andhowattachedtoGeorgeOsborne;andhegaveupatleasttensecondsofhisvaluabletimetoregrettingthemisfortunewhichhadbefallenthatunluckyyoungwoman.
WhilethusGeorgeOsborne’sgoodfeelings,andhisgoodfriendandgenius,Dobbin,werecarryingbackthetruanttoAmelia’sfeet,George’sparentandsisterswerearrangingthissplendidmatchforhim,whichtheyneverdreamedhewouldresist.
WhentheelderOsbornegavewhathecalled“ahint,”therewasnopossibilityforthemostobtusetomistakehismeaning.
Hecalledkickingafootmandownstairsahinttothelattertoleavehisservice.
WithhisusualfranknessanddelicacyhetoldMrs.Haggistounthathewouldgiveherachequeforfivethousandpoundsonthedayhissonwasmarriedtoherward;andcalledthatproposalahint,andconsidereditaverydexterouspieceofdiplomacy.
HegaveGeorgefinallysuchanotherhintregardingtheheiress;andorderedhimtomarryheroutofhand,ashewouldhaveorderedhisbutlertodrawacork,orhisclerktowritealetter.
ThisimperativehintdisturbedGeorgeagooddeal.
HewasintheveryfirstenthusiasmanddelightofhissecondcourtshipofAmelia,whichwasinexpressiblysweettohim.
Thecontrastofhermannersandappearancewiththoseoftheheiress,madetheideaofaunionwiththelatterappeardoublyludicrousandodious.
Carriagesandopera-boxes,thoughthe;fancybeingseeninthembythesideofsuchamahoganycharmerasthat!
AddtoallthatthejuniorOsbornewasquiteasobstinateasthesenior:whenhewantedathing,quiteasfirminhisresolutiontogetit;andquiteasviolentwhenangered,ashisfatherinhismoststernmoments.
OnthefirstdaywhenhisfatherformallygavehimthehintthathewastoplacehisaffectionsatMissSwartz’sfeet,Georgetemporisedwiththeoldgentleman.
“Youshouldhavethoughtofthemattersooner,sir,”hesaid.
“Itcan’tbedonenow,whenwe’reexpectingeverydaytogoonforeignservice.
Waittillmyreturn,ifIdoreturn”;andthenherepresented,thatthetimewhentheregimentwasdailyexpectingtoquitEngland,wasexceedinglyill-chosen:thatthefewdaysorweeksduringwhichtheywerestilltoremainathome,mustbedevotedtobusinessandnottolove-making:timeenoughforthatwhenhecamehomewithhismajority;“for,Ipromiseyou,”saidhe,withasatisfiedair,“thatonewayorotheryoushallreadthenameofGeorgeOsborneintheGazette.”
Thefather’sreplytothiswasfoundedupontheinformationwhichhehadgotintheCity:thattheWestEndchapswouldinfalliblycatchholdoftheheiressifanydelaytookplace:thatifhedidn’tmarryMissS.,hemightatleasthaveanengagementinwriting,tocomeintoeffectwhenhereturnedtoEngland;andthatamanwhocouldgettenthousandayearbystayingathome,wasafooltoriskhislifeabroad.
“Sothatyouwouldhavemeshownupasacoward,sir,andournamedishonouredforthesakeofMissSwartz’smoney,”Georgeinterposed.
Thisremarkstaggeredtheoldgentleman;butashehadtoreplytoit,andashismindwasneverthelessmadeup,hesaid,“Youwilldinehereto-morrow,sir,andeverydayMissSwartzcomes,youwillbeheretopayyourrespectstoher.
Ifyouwantformoney,calluponMr.Chopper.”
ThusanewobstaclewasinGeorge’sway,tointerferewithhisplansregardingAmelia;andaboutwhichheandDobbinhadmorethanoneconfidentialconsultation.
Hisfriend’sopinionrespectingthelineofconductwhichheoughttopursue,weknowalready.
AndasforOsborne,whenhewasoncebentonathing,afreshobstacleortwoonlyrenderedhimthemoreresolute.
ThedarkobjectoftheconspiracyintowhichthechiefsoftheOsbornefamilyhadentered,wasquiteignorantofalltheirplansregardingher(which,strangetosay,herfriendandchaperondidnotdivulge),and,takingalltheyoungladies’flatteryforgenuinesentiment,andbeing,aswehavebeforehadoccasiontoshow,ofaverywarmandimpetuousnature,respondedtotheiraffectionwithquiteatropicalardour.
Andifthetruthmaybetold,IdaresaythatshetoohadsomeselfishattractionintheRussellSquarehouse;andinaword,thoughtGeorgeOsborneaveryniceyoungman.
Hiswhiskershadmadeanimpressionuponher,ontheveryfirstnightshebeheldthemattheballatMessrs.Hulkers;and,asweknow,shewasnotthefirstwomanwhohadbeencharmedbythem.
Georgehadanairatonceswaggeringandmelancholy,languidandfierce.
Helookedlikeamanwhohadpassions,secrets,andprivateharrowinggriefsandadventures.Hisvoicewasrichanddeep.
Hewouldsayitwasawarmevening,oraskhispartnertotakeanice,withatoneassadandconfidentialasifhewerebreakinghermother’sdeathtoher,orpreludingadeclarationoflove.
Hetrampledoveralltheyoungbucksofhisfather’scircle,andwastheheroamongthosethird-ratemen.Somefewsneeredathimandhatedhim.
Some,likeDobbin,fanaticallyadmiredhim.
Andhiswhiskershadbeguntodotheirwork,andtocurlthemselvesroundtheaffectionsofMissSwartz.
WhenevertherewasachanceofmeetinghiminRussellSquare,thatsimpleandgood-naturedyoungwomanwasquiteinaflurrytoseeherdearMissesOsborne.
Shewenttogreatexpensesinnewgowns,andbracelets,andbonnets,andinprodigiousfeathers.
SheadornedherpersonwithherutmostskilltopleasetheConqueror,andexhibitedallhersimpleaccomplishmentstowinhisfavour.
Thegirlswouldaskher,withthegreatestgravity,foralittlemusic,andshewouldsingherthreesongsandplayhertwolittlepiecesasoftenasevertheyasked,andwithanalwaysincreasingpleasuretoherself.
Duringthesedelectableentertainments,MissWirtandthechaperonsateby,andconnedoverthepeerage,andtalkedaboutthenobility.
ThedayafterGeorgehadhishintfromhisfather,andashorttimebeforethehourofdinner,hewaslollinguponasofainthedrawing-roominaverybecomingandperfectlynaturalattitudeofmelancholy.
Hehadbeen,athisfather’srequest,toMr.ChopperintheCity(theold-gentleman,thoughhegavegreatsumstohisson,wouldneverspecifyanyfixedallowanceforhim,andrewardedhimonlyashewasinthehumour).
HehadthenbeentopassthreehourswithAmelia,hisdearlittleAmelia,atFulham;andhecamehometofindhissistersspreadinstarchedmuslininthedrawing-room,thedowagerscacklinginthebackground,andhonestSwartzinherfavouriteamber-colouredsatin,withturquoisebracelets,countlessrings,flowers,feathers,andallsortsoftagsandgimcracks,aboutaselegantlydecoratedasashechimney-sweeponMay-day.
Thegirls,aftervainattemptstoengagehiminconversation,talkedaboutfashionsandthelastdrawing-roomuntilhewasperfectlysickoftheirchatter.
HecontrastedtheirbehaviourwithlittleEmmy’s—theirshrillvoiceswithhertenderringingtones;theirattitudesandtheirelbowsandtheirstarch,withherhumblesoftmovementsandmodestgraces.
PoorSwartzwasseatedinaplacewhereEmmyhadbeenaccustomedtosit.
Herbejewelledhandslaysprawlinginherambersatinlap.
Hertagsandear-ringstwinkled,andherbigeyesrolledabout.
Shewasdoingnothingwithperfectcontentment,andthinkingherselfcharming.
Anythingsobecomingasthesatinthesistershadneverseen.
“Dammy,”Georgesaidtoaconfidentialfriend,“shelookedlikeaChinadoll,whichhasnothingtodoalldaybuttogrinandwagitshead.
ByJove,Will,itwasallIIcoulddotopreventmyselffromthrowingthesofa-cushionather.”
Herestrainedthatexhibitionofsentiment,however.
ThesistersbegantoplaytheBattleofPrague.
“Stopthatd—-thing,”Georgehowledoutinafuryfromthesofa.“Itmakesmemad.Youplayussomething,MissSwartz,do.
Singsomething,anythingbuttheBattleofPrague.”
“ShallIsing‘BlueEyedMary’ortheairfromtheCabinet?”MissSwartzasked.
“ThatsweetthingfromtheCabinet,”thesisterssaid.
“We’vehadthat,”repliedthemisanthropeonthesofa
“Icansing‘FluvyduTajy,’”Swartzsaid,inameekvoice,“ifIhadthewords.”Itwasthelastoftheworthyyoungwoman’scollection.
“O,‘FleuveduTage,’”MissMariacried;“wehavethesong,”andwentofftofetchthebookinwhichitwas.
Nowithappenedthatthissong,thenintheheightofthefashion,hadbeengiventotheyoungladiesbyayoungfriendoftheirs,whosenamewasonthetitle,andMissSwartz,havingconcludedthedittywithGeorge’sapplause(forherememberedthatitwasafavouriteofAmelia’s),washopingforanencoreperhaps,andfiddlingwiththeleavesofthemusic,whenhereyefelluponthetitle,andshesaw“AmeliaSedley”writteninthecomer.
“Lor!”criedMissSwartz,spinningswiftlyroundonthemusic-stool,“isitmyAmelia?AmeliathatwasatMissP.’satHammersmith?Iknowitis.It’sher.and—Tellmeabouther—whereisshe?”
“Don’tmentionher,”MissMariaOsbornesaidhastily.“Herfamilyhasdisgraceditself.
HerfathercheatedPapa,andasforher,sheisnevertobementionedHERE.”
ThiswasMissMaria’sreturnforGeorge’srudenessabouttheBattleofPrague.
“AreyouafriendofAmelia’s?”Georgesaid,bouncingup.“Godblessyouforit,MissSwartz.Don’tbelievewhatthegirlssay.SHE’Snottoblameatanyrate.She’sthebest—”
“Youknowyou’renottospeakabouther,George,”criedJane.“Papaforbidsit.”
“Who’stopreventme?”Georgecriedout.“Iwillspeakofher.
Isayshe’sthebest,thekindest,thegentlest,thesweetestgirlinEngland;andthat,bankruptorno,mysistersarenotfittoholdcandlestoher.
Ifyoulikeher,goandseeher,MissSwartz;shewantsfriendsnow;andIsay,Godblesseverybodywhobefriendsher.
Anybodywhospeakskindlyofherismyfriend;anybodywhospeaksagainstherismyenemy.
Thankyou,MissSwartz”;andhewentupandwrungherhand.
“George!George!”oneofthesisterscriedimploringly.
“Isay,”Georgesaidfiercely,“IthankeverybodywholovesAmeliaSed—”Hestopped.OldOsbornewasintheroomwithafacelividwithrage,andeyeslikehotcoals.
ThoughGeorgehadstoppedinhissentence,yet,hisbloodbeingup,hewasnottobecowedbyallthegenerationsofOsborne;rallyinginstantly,herepliedtothebullyinglookofhisfather,withanothersoindicativeofresolutionanddefiancethattheeldermanquailedinhisturn,andlookedaway.Hefeltthatthetusslewascoming.
“Mrs.Haggistoun,letmetakeyoudowntodinner,”hesaid.
“GiveyourarmtoMissSwartz,George,”andtheymarched.
“MissSwartz,IloveAmelia,andwe’vebeenengagedalmostallourlives,”Osbornesaidtohispartner;andduringallthedinner,Georgerattledonwithavolubilitywhichsurprisedhimself,andmadehisfatherdoublynervousforthefightwhichwastotakeplaceassoonastheladiesweregone.
Thedifferencebetweenthepairwas,thatwhilethefatherwasviolentandabully,thesonhadthricethenerveandcourageoftheparent,andcouldnotmerelymakeanattack,butresistit;andfindingthatthemomentwasnowcomewhenthecontestbetweenhimandhisfatherwastobedecided,hetookhisdinnerwithperfectcoolnessandappetitebeforetheengagementbegan.
OldOsborne,onthecontrary,wasnervous,anddrankmuch.
Heflounderedinhisconversationwiththeladies,hisneighbours:George’scoolnessonlyrenderinghimmoreangry.
ItmadehimhalfmadtoseethecalmwayinwhichGeorge,flappinghisnapkin,andwithaswaggeringbow,openedthedoorfortheladiestoleavetheroom;andfillinghimselfaglassofwine,smackedit,andlookedhisfatherfullintheface,asiftosay,“GentlemenoftheGuard,firefirst.”
Theoldmanalsotookasupplyofammunition,buthisdecanterclinkedagainsttheglassashetriedtofillit.
Aftergivingagreatheave,andwithapurplechokingface,hethenbegan.
“Howdareyou,sir,mentionthatperson’snamebeforeMissSwartzto-day,inmydrawing-room?Iaskyou,sir,howdareyoudoit?”
“Stop,sir,”saysGeorge,“don’tsaydare,sir.Dareisn’tawordtobeusedtoaCaptainintheBritishArmy.”
“IshallsaywhatIliketomyson,sir.IcancuthimoffwithashillingifIlike.IcanmakehimabeggarifIlike.IWILLsaywhatIlike,”theeldersaid.
“I’magentlemanthoughIAMyourson,sir,”Georgeansweredhaughtily.
“Anycommunicationswhichyouhavetomaketome,oranyorderswhichyoumaypleasetogive,IbegmaybecouchedinthatkindoflanguagewhichIamaccustomedtohear.”
Whenevertheladassumedhishaughtymanner,italwayscreatedeithergreataweorgreatirritationintheparent.
OldOsbornestoodinsecretterrorofhissonasabettergentlemanthanhimself;andperhapsmyreadersmayhaveremarkedintheirexperienceofthisVanityFairofours,thatthereisnocharacterwhichalow-mindedmansomuchmistrustsasthatofagentleman.
“Myfatherdidn’tgivemetheeducationyouhavehad,northeadvantagesyouhavehad,northemoneyyouhavehad.
IfIhadkeptthecompanySOMEFOLKShavehadthroughMYMEANS,perhapsmysonwouldn’thaveanyreasontobrag,sir,ofhisSUPERIORITYandWESTENDAIRS(thesewordswereutteredintheelderOsborne’smostsarcastictones).
Butitwasn’tconsideredthepartofagentleman,inMYtime,foramantoinsulthisfather.
IfI’ddoneanysuchthing,minewouldhavekickedmedownstairs,sir.”
“Ineverinsultedyou,sir.IsaidIbeggedyoutorememberyoursonwasagentlemanaswellasyourself.
Iknowverywellthatyougivemeplentyofmoney,”saidGeorge(fingeringabundleofnoteswhichhehadgotinthemorningfromMr.Chopper).“Youtellitmeoftenenough,sir.There’snofearofmyforgettingit.”
“Iwishyou’drememberotherthingsaswell,sir,”thesireanswered.
“Iwishyou’drememberthatinthishouse—solongasyouchoosetoHONOURitwithyourCOMPANY,Captain—I’mthemaster,andthatname,andthatthat—thatyou—thatIsay—”
“Thatwhat,sir?”Georgeasked,withscarcelyasneer,fillinganotherglassofclaret.
”——!”burstouthisfatherwithascreamingoath—”thatthenameofthoseSedleysneverbementionedhere,sir—notoneofthewholedamnedlotof‘em,sir.”
“Itwasn’tI,sir,thatintroducedMissSedley’sname.
ItwasmysisterswhospokeillofhertoMissSwartz;andbyJoveI’lldefendherwhereverIgo.
Nobodyshallspeaklightlyofthatnameinmypresence.
Ourfamilyhasdoneherquiteenoughinjuryalready,Ithink,andmayleaveoffrevilinghernowshe’sdown.
I’llshootanymanbutyouwhosaysawordagainsther.”
“Goon,sir,goon,”theoldgentlemansaid,hiseyesstartingoutofhishead.
“Goonaboutwhat,sir?aboutthewayinwhichwe’vetreatedthatangelofagirl?Whotoldmetoloveher?Itwasyourdoing.
Imighthavechosenelsewhere,andlookedhigher,perhaps,thanyoursociety:butIobeyedyou.
Andnowthatherheart’smineyougivemeorderstoflingitaway,andpunishher,killherperhaps—forthefaultsofotherpeople.
It’sashame,byHeavens,”saidGeorge,workinghimselfupintopassionandenthusiasmasheproceeded,“toplayatfastandloosewithayounggirl’saffections—andwithsuchanangelasthat—onesosuperiortothepeopleamongstwhomshelived,thatshemighthaveexcitedenvy,onlyshewassogoodandgentle,thatit’sawonderanybodydaredtohateher.
IfIdeserther,sir,doyousupposesheforgetsme?”
“Iain’tgoingtohaveanyofthisdamsentimentalnonsenseandhumbughere,sir,”thefathercriedout.
“Thereshallbenobeggar-marriagesinmyfamily.
Ifyouchoosetoflingawayeightthousandayear,whichyoumayhavefortheasking,youmaydoit:butbyJoveyoutakeyourpackandwalkoutofthishouse,sir.
WillyoudoasItellyou,onceforall,sir,orwillyounot?”
“Marrythatmulattowoman?”Georgesaid,pullinguphisshirt-collars.“Idon’tlikethecolour,sir.AsktheblackthatsweepsoppositeFleetMarket,sir.I’mnotgoingtomarryaHottentotVenus.”
Mr.Osbornepulledfranticallyatthecordbywhichhewasaccustomedtosummonthebutlerwhenhewantedwine—andalmostblackintheface,orderedthatfunctionarytocallacoachforCaptainOsborne.
“I’vedoneit,”saidGeorge,comingintotheSlaughters’anhourafterwards,lookingverypale.
“What,myboy?”saysDobbin.
Georgetoldwhathadpassedbetweenhisfatherandhimself.
“I’llmarryherto-morrow,”hesaidwithanoath.“Ilovehermoreeveryday,Dobbin.”
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