English
Howtheyweremarriedisnotoftheslightestconsequencetoanybody.
WhatistohinderaCaptainwhoisamajor,andayoungladywhoisofage,frompurchasingalicence,andunitingthemselvesatanychurchinthistown?
Whoneedstobetold,thatifawomanhasawillshewillassuredlyfindaway?
—Mybeliefisthatoneday,whenMissSharphadgonetopasstheforenoonwithherdearfriendMissAmeliaSedleyinRussellSquare,aladyverylikehermighthavebeenseenenteringachurchintheCity,incompanywithagentlemanwithdyedmustachios,who,afteraquarterofanhour’sinterval,escortedherbacktothehackney-coachinwaiting,andthatthiswasaquietbridalparty.
Andwhoonearth,afterthedailyexperiencewehave,canquestiontheprobabilityofagentlemanmarryinganybody?
Howmanyofthewiseandlearnedhavemarriedtheircooks?
DidnotLordEldonhimself,themostprudentofmen,makearunawaymatch?
WerenotAchillesandAjaxbothinlovewiththeirservantmaids?
Andarewetoexpectaheavydragoonwithstrongdesiresandsmallbrains,whohadnevercontrolledapassioninhislife,tobecomeprudentallofasudden,andtorefusetopayanypriceforanindulgencetowhichhehadamind?
Ifpeopleonlymadeprudentmarriages,whatastoptopopulationtherewouldbe!
Itseemstome,formypart,thatMr.Rawdon’smarriagewasoneofthehonestestactionswhichweshallhavetorecordinanyportionofthatgentleman’sbiographywhichhastodowiththepresenthistory.
Noonewillsayitisunmanlytobecaptivatedbyawoman,or,beingcaptivated,tomarryher;andtheadmiration,thedelight,thepassion,thewonder,theunboundedconfidence,andfranticadorationwithwhich,bydegrees,thisbigwarriorgottoregardthelittleRebecca,werefeelingswhichtheladiesatleastwillpronouncewerenotaltogetherdiscreditabletohim.
Whenshesang,everynotethrilledinhisdullsoul,andtingledthroughhishugeframe.
Whenshespoke,hebroughtalltheforceofhisbrainstolistenandwonder.
Ifshewasjocular,heusedtorevolveherjokesinhismind,andexplodeoverthemhalfanhourafterwardsinthestreet,tothesurpriseofthegroominthetilburybyhisside,orthecomraderidingwithhiminRottenRow.
Herwordswereoraclestohim,hersmallestactionsmarkedbyaninfalliblegraceandwisdom.
“Howshesings,—howshepaints,”thoughthe.
“HowsherodethatkickingmareatQueen’sCrawley!”
Andhewouldsaytoherinconfidentialmoments,“ByJove,Beck,you’refittobeCommander-in-Chief,orArchbishopofCanterbury,byJove.”Ishiscasearareone?
anddon’tweseeeverydayintheworldmanyanhonestHerculesattheapron-stringsofOmphale,andgreatwhiskeredSamsonsprostrateinDelilah’slap?
When,then,Beckytoldhimthatthegreatcrisiswasnear,andthetimeforactionhadarrived,Rawdonexpressedhimselfasreadytoactunderherorders,ashewouldbetochargewithhistroopatthecommandofhiscolonel.
TherewasnoneedforhimtoputhisletterintothethirdvolumeofPorteus.
RebeccaeasilyfoundameanstogetridofBriggs,hercompanion,andmetherfaithfulfriendin“theusualplace”onthenextday.
Shehadthoughtovermattersatnight,andcommunicatedtoRawdontheresultofherdeterminations.
Heagreed,ofcourse,toeverything;wasquitesurethatitwasallright:thatwhatsheproposedwasbest;thatMissCrawleywouldinfalliblyrelent,or“comeround,”ashesaid,afteratime.
HadRebecca’sresolutionsbeenentirelydifferent,hewouldhavefollowedthemasimplicitly.
“Youhaveheadenoughforbothofus,Beck,”saidhe.
“You’resuretogetusoutofthescrape.
Ineversawyourequal,andI’vemetwithsomeclippersinmytimetoo.”
Andwiththissimpleconfessionoffaith,thelove-strickendragoonlefthertoexecutehispartoftheprojectwhichshehadformedforthepair.
ItconsistedsimplyinthehiringofquietlodgingsatBrompton,orintheneighbourhoodofthebarracks,forCaptainandMrs.Crawley.
ForRebeccahaddetermined,andveryprudently,wethink,tofly.
Rawdonwasonlytoohappyatherresolve;hehadbeenentreatinghertotakethismeasureanytimeforweekspast.
Heprancedofftoengagethelodgingswithalltheimpetuosityoflove.
Heagreedtopaytwoguineasaweeksoreadily,thatthelandladyregrettedshehadaskedhimsolittle.
Heorderedinapiano,andhalfanursery-housefullofflowers:andaheapofgoodthings.
Asforshawls,kidgloves,silkstockings,goldFrenchwatches,braceletsandperfumery,hesenttheminwiththeprofusionofblindloveandunboundedcredit.
Andhavingrelievedhismindbythisoutpouringofgenerosity,hewentanddinednervouslyattheclub,waitinguntilthegreatmomentofhislifeshouldcome.
Rebeccainrefusinganoffersoadvantageoustoher,thesecretunhappinesspreyinguponher,thesweetnessandsilencewithwhichsheboreheraffliction,madeMissCrawleymuchmoretenderthanusual.
Aneventofthisnature,amarriage,orarefusal,oraproposal,thrillsthroughawholehouseholdofwomen,andsetsalltheirhystericalsympathiesatwork.
Asanobserverofhumannature,IregularlyfrequentSt.George’s,HanoverSquare,duringthegenteelmarriageseason;andthoughIhaveneverseenthebridegroom’smalefriendsgivewaytotears,orthebeadlesandofficiatingclergyanywayaffected,yetitisnotatalluncommontoseewomenwhoarenotintheleastconcernedintheoperationsgoingon—oldladieswhoarelongpastmarrying,stoutmiddle-agedfemaleswithplentyofsonsanddaughters,letaloneprettyyoungcreaturesinpinkbonnets,whoareontheirpromotion,andmaynaturallytakeaninterestintheceremony—Isayitisquitecommontoseethewomenpresentpiping,sobbing,sniffling;hidingtheirlittlefacesintheirlittleuselesspocket-handkerchiefs;andheaving,oldandyoung,withemotion.
Whenmyfriend,thefashionableJohnPimlico,marriedthelovelyLadyBelgraviaGreenParker,theexcitementwassogeneralthateventhelittlesnuffyoldpew-openerwholetmeintotheseatwasintears.Andwherefore?
Iinquiredofmyownsoul:shewasnotgoingtobemarried.
Theoccurrencesofthepreviousday;theadmirableconductof
MissCrawleyandBriggsinaword,aftertheaffairofSirPitt,indulgedintheutmostluxuryofsentiment,andRebeccabecameanobjectofthemosttenderinteresttothem.
InherabsenceMissCrawleysolacedherselfwiththemostsentimentalofthenovelsinherlibrary.
LittleSharp,withhersecretgriefs,wastheheroineoftheday.
ThatnightRebeccasangmoresweetlyandtalkedmorepleasantlythanshehadeverbeenheardtodoinParkLane.
ShetwinedherselfroundtheheartofMissCrawley.
ShespokelightlyandlaughinglyofSirPitt’sproposal,ridiculeditasthefoolishfancyofanoldman;andhereyesfilledwithtears,andBriggs’sheartwithunutterablepangsofdefeat,asshesaidshedesirednootherlotthantoremainforeverwithherdearbenefactress.
“Mydearlittlecreature,”theoldladysaid,“Idon’tintendtoletyoustirforyears,thatyoumaydependuponit.
Asforgoingbacktothatodiousbrotherofmineafterwhathaspassed,itisoutofthequestion.HereyoustaywithmeandBriggs.
Briggswantstogotoseeherrelationsveryoften.Briggs,youmaygowhenyoulike.
Butasforyou,mydear,youmuststayandtakecareoftheoldwoman.”
IfRawdonCrawleyhadbeenthenandtherepresent,insteadofbeingattheclubnervouslydrinkingclaret,thepairmighthavegonedownontheirkneesbeforetheoldspinster,avowedall,andbeenforgiveninatwinkling.
Butthatgoodchancewasdeniedtotheyoungcouple,doubtlessinorderthatthisstorymightbewritten,inwhichnumbersoftheirwonderfuladventuresarenarrated—adventureswhichcouldneverhaveoccurredtothemiftheyhadbeenhousedandshelteredunderthecomfortableuninterestingforgivenessofMissCrawley.
UnderMrs.Firkin’sorders,intheParkLaneestablishment,wasayoungwomanfromHampshire,whosebusinessitwas,amongotherduties,toknockatMissSharp’sdoorwiththatjugofhotwaterwhichFirkinwouldratherhaveperishedthanhavepresentedtotheintruder.
Thisgirl,bredonthefamilyestate,hadabrotherinCaptainCrawley’stroop,andifthetruthwereknown,Idaresayitwouldcomeoutthatshewasawareofcertainarrangements,whichhaveagreatdealtodowiththishistory.
Atanyrateshepurchasedayellowshawl,apairofgreenboots,andalightbluehatwitharedfeatherwiththreeguineaswhichRebeccagaveher,andaslittleSharpwasbynomeanstooliberalwithhermoney,nodoubtitwasforservicesrenderedthatBettyMartinwassobribed.
OntheseconddayafterSirPittCrawley’soffertoMissSharp,thesunroseasusual,andattheusualhourBettyMartin,theupstairsmaid,knockedatthedoorofthegoverness’sbedchamber.
Noanswerwasreturned,andsheknockedagain.Silencewasstilluninterrupted;andBetty,withthehotwater,openedthedoorandenteredthechamber.
Thelittlewhitedimitybedwasassmoothandtrimasonthedayprevious,whenBetty’sownhandshadhelpedtomakeit.
Twolittletrunkswerecordedinoneendoftheroom;andonthetablebeforethewindow—onthepincushionthegreatfatpincushionlinedwithpinkinside,andtwilledlikealady’snightcap—layaletter.
Ithadbeenreposingthereprobablyallnight.
Bettyadvancedtowardsitontiptoe,asifshewereafraidtoawakeit—lookedatit,androundtheroom,withanairofgreatwonderandsatisfaction;tookuptheletter,andgrinnedintenselyassheturneditroundandover,andfinallycarrieditintoMissBriggs’sroombelow.
HowcouldBettytellthattheletterwasforMissBriggs,Ishouldliketoknow?
AlltheschoolingBettyhadhadwasatMrs.ButeCrawley’sSundayschool,andshecouldnomorereadwritingthanHebrew.
“La,MissBriggs,”thegirlexclaimed,“O,Miss,somethingmusthavehappened—there’snobodyinMissSharp’sroom;thebedain’tbeenslepin,andshe’verunaway,andleftthisletterforyou,Miss.”
“WHAT!”criesBriggs,droppinghercomb,thethinwispoffadedhairfallingoverhershoulders;“anelopement!MissSharpafugitive!What,whatisthis?”
andsheeagerlybroketheneatseal,and,astheysay,“devouredthecontents”oftheletteraddressedtoher.
DearMissBriggs[therefugeewrote],thekindestheartintheworld,asyoursis,willpityandsympathisewithmeandexcuseme.
Withtears,andprayers,andblessings,Ileavethehomewherethepoororphanhasevermetwithkindnessandaffection.
Claimsevensuperiortothoseofmybenefactresscallmehence.Igotomyduty—tomyHUSBAND.Yes,Iammarried.
MyhusbandCOMMANDSmetoseektheHUMBLEHOMEwhichwecallours.
DearestMissBriggs,breakthenewsasyourdelicatesympathywillknowhowtodoit—tomydear,mybelovedfriendandbenefactress.
Tellher,ereIwent,Ishedtearsonherdearpillow—thatpillowthatIhavesooftensoothedinsickness—thatIlongAGAINtowatch—Oh,withwhatjoyshallIreturntodearParkLane!
HowItremblefortheanswerwhichistoSEALMYFATE!
WhenSirPittdeignedtooffermehishand,anhonourofwhichmybelovedMissCrawleysaidIwasDESERVING(myblessingsgowithherforjudgingthepoororphanworthytobeHERSISTER!)
ItoldSirPittthatIwasalreadyAWIFE.Evenheforgaveme.
Butmycouragefailedme,whenIshouldhavetoldhimall—thatIcouldnotbehiswife,forIWASHISDAUGHTER!
Iamweddedtothebestandmostgenerousofmen—MissCrawley’sRawdonisMYRawdon.
AthisCOMMANDIopenmylips,andfollowhimtoourhumblehome,asIwouldTHROUGHTHEWORLD.
O,myexcellentandkindfriend,intercedewithmyRawdon’sbelovedauntforhimandthepoorgirltowhomallHISNOBLERACEhaveshownsuchUNPARALLELEDAFFECTION.
AskMissCrawleytoreceiveHERCHILDREN.
Icansaynomore,butblessings,blessingsonallinthedearhouseIleave,prays
YouraffectionateandGRATEFULRebeccaCrawley.Midnight.
JustasBriggshadfinishedreadingthisaffectingandinterestingdocument,whichreinstatedherinherpositionasfirstconfidanteofMissCrawley,Mrs.Firkinenteredtheroom.
“Here’sMrs.ButeCrawleyjustarrivedbythemailfromHampshire,andwantssometea;willyoucomedownandmakebreakfast,Miss?”
AndtothesurpriseofFirkin,claspingherdressing-gownaroundher,thewispofhairfloatingdishevelledbehindher,thelittlecurl-papersstillstickinginbunchesroundherforehead,BriggssaileddowntoMrs.Butewiththeletterinherhandcontainingthewonderfulnews.
“Oh,Mrs.Firkin,”gaspedBetty,“sechabusiness.
MissSharphaveagoneandrunawaywiththeCapting,andthey’reofftoGretneyGreen!”
WewoulddevoteachaptertodescribetheemotionsofMrs.Firkin,didnotthepassionsofhermistressesoccupyourgenteelermuse.
WhenMrs.ButeCrawley,numbedwithmidnighttravelling,andwarmingherselfatthenewlycracklingparlourfire,heardfromMissBriggstheintelligenceoftheclandestinemarriage,shedeclareditwasquiteprovidentialthatsheshouldhavearrivedatsuchatimetoassistpoordearMissCrawleyinsupportingtheshock—thatRebeccawasanartfullittlehussyofwhomshehadalwayshadhersuspicions;andthatasforRawdonCrawley,shenevercouldaccountforhisaunt’sinfatuationregardinghim,andhadlongconsideredhimaprofligate,lost,andabandonedbeing.
Andthisawfulconduct,Mrs.Butesaid,willhaveatleastthisgoodeffect,itwillopenpoordearMissCrawley’seyestotherealcharacterofthiswickedman.
ThenMrs.Butehadacomfortablehottoastandtea;andastherewasavacantroominthehousenow,therewasnoneedforhertoremainattheGlosterCoffeeHousewherethePortsmouthmailhadsetherdown,andwhencesheorderedMr.Bowls’saide-de-campthefootmantobringawayhertrunks.
MissCrawley,beitknown,didnotleaveherroomuntilnearnoon—takingchocolateinbedinthemorning,whileBeckySharpreadtheMorningPosttoher,orotherwiseamusingherselfordawdling.
Theconspiratorsbelowagreedthattheywouldsparethedearlady’sfeelingsuntilsheappearedinherdrawing-room:meanwhileitwasannouncedtoherthatMrs.ButeCrawleyhadcomeupfromHampshirebythemail,wasstayingattheGloster,sentherlovetoMissCrawley,andaskedforbreakfastwithMissBriggs.
ThearrivalofMrs.Bute,whichwouldnothavecausedanyextremedelightatanotherperiod,washailedwithpleasurenow;MissCrawleybeingpleasedatthenotionofagossipwithhersister-in-lawregardingthelateLadyCrawley,thefuneralarrangementspending,andSirPitt’sabruptproposaltoRebecca.
Itwasnotuntiltheoldladywasfairlyensconcedinherusualarm-chairinthedrawing-room,andthepreliminaryembracesandinquirieshadtakenplacebetweentheladies,thattheconspiratorsthoughtitadvisabletosubmithertotheoperation.
Whohasnotadmiredtheartificesanddelicateapproacheswithwhichwomen“prepare”theirfriendsforbadnews?
MissCrawley’stwofriendsmadesuchanapparatusofmysterybeforetheybroketheintelligencetoher,thattheyworkedheruptothenecessarydegreeofdoubtandalarm.
“AndsherefusedSirPitt,mydear,dearMissCrawley,prepareyourselfforit,”Mrs.Butesaid,“because—becauseshecouldn’thelpherself.”
“Ofcoursetherewasareason,”MissCrawleyanswered.“Shelikedsomebodyelse.ItoldBriggssoyesterday.”
“LIKESsomebodyelse!”Briggsgasped.“Omydearfriend,sheismarriedalready.”
“Marriedalready,”Mrs.Butechimedin;andbothsatewithclaspedhandslookingfromeachotherattheirvictim.
“Sendhertome,theinstantshecomesin.Thelittleslywretch:howdaredshenottellme?”criedoutMissCrawley.
“Shewon’tcomeinsoon.Prepareyourself,dearfriend—she’sgoneoutforalongtime—she’s—she’sgonealtogether.”
“Graciousgoodness,andwho’stomakemychocolate?Sendforherandhaveherback;Idesirethatshecomeback,”theoldladysaid.
“Shedecampedlastnight,Ma’am,”criedMrs.Bute.
“Sheleftaletterforme,”Briggsexclaimed.“She’smarriedto—”
“Prepareher,forheaven’ssake.Don’ttortureher,mydearMissBriggs.”
“She’smarriedtowhom?”criesthespinsterinanervousfury.
“To—toarelationof—”
“SherefusedSirPitt,”criedthevictim.“Speakatonce.Don’tdrivememad.”
“OMa’am—prepareher,MissBriggs—she’smarriedtoRawdonCrawley.”
“RawdonmarriedRebecca—governess—nobod—Getoutofmyhouse,youfool,youidiot—youstupidoldBriggs—howdareyou?
You’reintheplot—youmadehimmarry,thinkingthatI’dleavemymoneyfromhim—youdid,Martha,”thepooroldladyscreamedinhystericsentences.
“I,Ma’am,askamemberofthisfamilytomarryadrawing-master’sdaughter?”
“HermotherwasaMontmorency,”criedouttheoldlady,pullingatthebellwithallhermight.
“Hermotherwasanoperagirl,andshehasbeenonthestageorworseherself,”saidMrs.Bute.
MissCrawleygaveafinalscream,andfellbackinafaint.
Theywereforcedtotakeherbacktotheroomwhichshehadjustquitted.Onefitofhystericssucceededanother.
Thedoctorwassentfor—theapothecaryarrived.
Mrs.Butetookupthepostofnursebyherbedside.
“Herrelationsoughttoberoundabouther,”thatamiablewomansaid.
Shehadscarcelybeencarrieduptoherroom,whenanewpersonarrivedtowhomitwasalsonecessarytobreakthenews.ThiswasSirPitt.“Where’sBecky?”hesaid,comingin.“Where’shertraps?
She’scomingwithmetoQueen’sCrawley.”
“Haveyounotheardtheastonishingintelligenceregardinghersurreptitiousunion?”Briggsasked.
“What’sthattome?”SirPittasked.“Iknowshe’smarried.Thatmakesnoodds.Tellhertocomedownatonce,andnotkeepme.”
“Areyounotaware,sir,”MissBriggsasked,“thatshehasleftourroof,tothedismayofMissCrawley,whoisnearlykilledbytheintelligenceofCaptainRawdon’sunionwithher?”
WhenSirPittCrawleyheardthatRebeccawasmarriedtohisson,hebrokeoutintoafuryoflanguage,whichitwoulddonogoodtorepeatinthisplace,asindeeditsentpoorBriggsshudderingoutoftheroom;andwithherwewillshutthedooruponthefigureofthefrenziedoldman,wildwithhatredandinsanewithbaffleddesire.
OnedayafterhewenttoQueen’sCrawley,heburstlikeamadmanintotheroomshehadusedwhenthere—dashedopenherboxeswithhisfoot,andflungaboutherpapers,clothes,andotherrelics.
MissHorrocks,thebutler’sdaughter,tooksomeofthem.
Thechildrendressedthemselvesandactedplaysintheothers.
Itwasbutafewdaysafterthepoormotherhadgonetoherlonelyburying-place;andwaslaid,unweptanddisregarded,inavaultfullofstrangers.
“Supposetheoldladydoesn’tcometo,”Rawdonsaidtohislittlewife,astheysatetogetherinthesnuglittleBromptonlodgings.
Shehadbeentryingthenewpianoallthemorning.
Thenewglovesfittedhertoanicety;thenewshawlsbecameherwonderfully;thenewringsglitteredonherlittlehands,andthenewwatchtickedatherwaist;“supposeshedon’tcomeround,eh,Becky?”
“I’LLmakeyourfortune,”shesaid;andDelilahpattedSamson’scheek.
“Youcandoanything,”hesaid,kissingthelittlehand.“ByJoveyoucan;andwe’lldrivedowntotheStarandGarter,anddine,byJove.”
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