English
Wornoutbyanxiouswatching,Mr.Lorryfellasleepathispost.
Onthetenthmorningofhissuspense,hewasstartledbytheshiningofthesunintotheroomwhereaheavyslumberhadovertakenhimwhenitwasdarknight.
Herubbedhiseyesandrousedhimself;buthedoubted,whenhehaddoneso,whetherhewasnotstillasleep.
For,goingtothedooroftheDoctor’sroomandlookingin,heperceivedthattheshoemaker’sbenchandtoolswereputasideagain,andthattheDoctorhimselfsatreadingatthewindow.
Hewasinhisusualmorningdress,andhisface(whichMr.Lorrycoulddistinctlysee),thoughstillverypale,wascalmlystudiousandattentive.
Evenwhenhehadsatisfiedhimselfthathewasawake,Mr.Lorryfeltgiddilyuncertainforsomefewmomentswhetherthelateshoemakingmightnotbeadisturbeddreamofhisown;for,didnothiseyesshowhimhisfriendbeforehiminhisaccustomedclothingandaspect,andemployedasusual;andwasthereanysignwithintheirrange,thatthechangeofwhichhehadsostronganimpressionhadactuallyhappened?
Itwasbuttheinquiryofhisfirstconfusionandastonishment,theanswerbeingobvious.
Iftheimpressionwerenotproducedbyarealcorrespondingandsufficientcause,howcamehe,JarvisLorry,there?
Howcamehetohavefallenasleep,inhisclothes,onthesofainDoctorManette’sconsulting-room,andtobedebatingthesepointsoutsidetheDoctor’sbedroomdoorintheearlymorning?
Withinafewminutes,MissProssstoodwhisperingathisside.
Ifhehadhadanyparticleofdoubtleft,hertalkwouldofnecessityhaveresolvedit;buthewasbythattimeclear-headed,andhadnone.
Headvisedthattheyshouldletthetimegobyuntiltheregularbreakfast-hour,andshouldthenmeettheDoctorasifnothingunusualhadoccurred.
Ifheappearedtobeinhiscustomarystateofmind,Mr.Lorrywouldthencautiouslyproceedtoseekdirectionandguidancefromtheopinionhehadbeen,inhisanxiety,soanxioustoobtain.
MissPross,submittingherselftohisjudgment,theschemewasworkedoutwithcare.
Havingabundanceoftimeforhisusualmethodicaltoilette,Mr.Lorrypresentedhimselfatthebreakfast-hourinhisusualwhitelinen,andwithhisusualneatleg.
TheDoctorwassummonedintheusualway,andcametobreakfast.
SofarasitwaspossibletocomprehendhimwithoutoversteppingthosedelicateandgradualapproacheswhichMr.Lorryfelttobetheonlysafeadvance,heatfirstsupposedthathisdaughter’smarriagehadtakenplaceyesterday.
Anincidentalallusion,purposelythrownout,tothedayoftheweek,andthedayofthemonth,sethimthinkingandcounting,andevidentlymadehimuneasy.
Inallotherrespects,however,hewassocomposedlyhimself,thatMr.Lorrydeterminedtohavetheaidhesought.Andthataidwashisown.
Therefore,whenthebreakfastwasdoneandclearedaway,andheandtheDoctorwerelefttogether,Mr.Lorrysaid,feelingly:
“MydearManette,Iamanxioustohaveyouropinion,inconfidence,onaverycuriouscaseinwhichIamdeeplyinterested;thatistosay,itisverycurioustome;perhaps,toyourbetterinformationitmaybelessso.”
Glancingathishands,whichwerediscolouredbyhislatework,theDoctorlookedtroubled,andlistenedattentively.Hehadalreadyglancedathishandsmorethanonce.
“DoctorManette,”saidMr.Lorry,touchinghimaffectionatelyonthearm,“thecaseisthecaseofaparticularlydearfriendofmine.
Praygiveyourmindtoit,andadvisemewellforhissake—andaboveall,forhisdaughter’s—hisdaughter’s,mydearManette.”
“IfIunderstand,”saidtheDoctor,inasubduedtone,“somementalshock—?”
“Yes!”
“Beexplicit,”saidtheDoctor.“Sparenodetail.”
Mr.Lorrysawthattheyunderstoodoneanother,andproceeded.
“MydearManette,itisthecaseofanoldandaprolongedshock,ofgreatacutenessandseveritytotheaffections,thefeelings,the—the—asyouexpressit—themind.Themind.
Itisthecaseofashockunderwhichthesuffererwasbornedown,onecannotsayforhowlong,becauseIbelievehecannotcalculatethetimehimself,andtherearenoothermeansofgettingatit.
Itisthecaseofashockfromwhichthesuffererrecovered,byaprocessthathecannottracehimself—asIonceheardhimpubliclyrelateinastrikingmanner.
Itisthecaseofashockfromwhichhehasrecovered,socompletely,astobeahighlyintelligentman,capableofcloseapplicationofmind,andgreatexertionofbody,andofconstantlymakingfreshadditionstohisstockofknowledge,whichwasalreadyverylarge.
But,unfortunately,therehasbeen,”hepausedandtookadeepbreath—”aslightrelapse.”
TheDoctor,inalowvoice,asked,“Ofhowlongduration?”
“Ninedaysandnights.”
“Howdiditshowitself?Iinfer,”glancingathishandsagain,“intheresumptionofsomeoldpursuitconnectedwiththeshock?”
“Thatisthefact.”
“Now,didyoueverseehim,”askedtheDoctor,distinctlyandcollectedly,thoughinthesamelowvoice,“engagedinthatpursuitoriginally?”
“Once.”
“Andwhentherelapsefellonhim,washeinmostrespects—orinallrespects—ashewasthen?”
“Ithinkinallrespects.”
“Youspokeofhisdaughter.Doeshisdaughterknowoftherelapse?”
“No.Ithasbeenkeptfromher,andIhopewillalwaysbekeptfromher.Itisknownonlytomyself,andtooneotherwhomaybetrusted.”
TheDoctorgraspedhisband,andmurmured,“Thatwasverykind.Thatwasverythoughtful!”Mr.Lorrygraspedhishandinreturn,andneitherofthetwospokeforalittlewhile.
“Now,mydearManette,”saidMr.Lorry,atlength,inhismostconsiderateandmostaffectionateway,“Iamameremanofbusiness,andunfittocopewithsuchintricateanddifficultmatters.
Idonotpossessthekindofinformationnecessary;Idonotpossessthekindofintelligence;Iwantguiding.
ThereisnomaninthisworldonwhomIcouldsorelyforrightguidance,asonyou.
Tellme,howdoesthisrelapsecomeabout?Istheredangerofanother?Couldarepetitionofitbeprevented?
Howshouldarepetitionofitbetreated?Howdoesitcomeaboutatall?WhatcanIdoformyfriend?
Nomanevercanhavebeenmoredesirousinhishearttoserveafriend,thanIamtoservemine,ifIknewhow.
ButIdon’tknowhowtooriginate,insuchacase.
Ifyoursagacity,knowledge,andexperience,couldputmeontherighttrack,Imightbeabletodosomuch;unenlightenedandundirected,Icandosolittle.
Praydiscussitwithme;prayenablemetoseeitalittlemoreclearly,andteachmehowtobealittlemoreuseful.”
DoctorManettesatmeditatingaftertheseearnestwordswerespoken,andMr.Lorrydidnotpresshim.
“Ithinkitprobable,”saidtheDoctor,breakingsilencewithaneffort,“thattherelapseyouhavedescribed,mydearfriend,wasnotquiteunforeseenbyitssubject.”
“Wasitdreadedbyhim?”Mr.Lorryventuredtoask.
“Verymuch.”Hesaiditwithaninvoluntaryshudder.
“Youhavenoideahowsuchanapprehensionweighsonthesufferer’smind,andhowdifficult—howalmostimpossible—itis,forhimtoforcehimselftoutteraworduponthetopicthatoppresseshim.”
“Wouldhe,”askedMr.Lorry,“besensiblyrelievedifhecouldprevailuponhimselftoimpartthatsecretbroodingtoanyone,whenitisonhim?”
“Ithinkso.Butitis,asIhavetoldyou,nexttoimpossible.Ievenbelieveit—insomecases—tobequiteimpossible.”
“Now,”saidMr.Lorry,gentlylayinghishandontheDoctor’sarmagain,afterashortsilenceonbothsides,“towhatwouldyoureferthisattack?“
“Ibelieve,”returnedDoctorManette,“thattherehadbeenastrongandextraordinaryrevivalofthetrainofthoughtandremembrancethatwasthefirstcauseofthemalady.
Someintenseassociationsofamostdistressingnaturewerevividlyrecalled,Ithink.
Itisprobablethattherehadlongbeenadreadlurkinginhismind,thatthoseassociationswouldberecalled—say,undercertaincircumstances—say,onaparticularoccasion.
Hetriedtopreparehimselfinvain;perhapstheefforttopreparehimselfmadehimlessabletobearit.”
“Wouldherememberwhattookplaceintherelapse?”askedMr.Lorry,withnaturalhesitation.
TheDoctorlookeddesolatelyroundtheroom,shookhishead,andanswered,inalowvoice,“Notatall.”
“Now,astothefuture,”hintedMr.Lorry.
“Astothefuture,”saidtheDoctor,recoveringfirmness,“Ishouldhavegreathope.
AsitpleasedHeaveninitsmercytorestorehimsosoon,Ishouldhavegreathope.
He,yieldingunderthepressureofacomplicatedsomething,longdreadedandlongvaguelyforeseenandcontendedagainst,andrecoveringafterthecloudhadburstandpassed,Ishouldhopethattheworstwasover.”
“Well,well!That’sgoodcomfort.Iamthankful!”saidMr.Lorry.
“Iamthankful!”repeatedtheDoctor,bendinghisheadwithreverence.
“Therearetwootherpoints,”saidMr.Lorry,“onwhichIamanxioustobeinstructed.Imaygoon?”
“Youcannotdoyourfriendabetterservice.”TheDoctorgavehimhishand.
“Tothefirst,then.Heisofastudioushabit,andunusuallyenergetic;heapplieshimselfwithgreatardourtotheacquisitionofprofessionalknowledge,totheconductingofexperiments,tomanythings.Now,doeshedotoomuch?”
“Ithinknot.Itmaybethecharacterofhismind,tobealwaysinsingularneedofoccupation.
Thatmaybe,inpart,naturaltoit;inpart,theresultofaffliction.
Thelessitwasoccupiedwithhealthythings,themoreitwouldbeindangerofturningintheunhealthydirection.
Hemayhaveobservedhimself,andmadethediscovery.”
“Youaresurethatheisnotundertoogreatastrain?”
“IthinkIamquitesureofit.”
“MydearManette,ifhewereoverworkednow—”
“MydearLorry,Idoubtifthatcouldeasilybe.Therehasbeenaviolentstressinonedirection,anditneedsacounterweight.”
“Excuseme,asapersistentmanofbusiness.Assumingforamoment,thatheWASoverworked;itwouldshowitselfinsomerenewalofthisdisorder?”
“Idonotthinkso.Idonotthink,”saidDoctorManettewiththefirmnessofself-conviction,“thatanythingbuttheonetrainofassociationwouldrenewit.
Ithinkthat,henceforth,nothingbutsomeextraordinaryjarringofthatchordcouldrenewit.
Afterwhathashappened,andafterhisrecovery,Ifinditdifficulttoimagineanysuchviolentsoundingofthatstringagain.
Itrust,andIalmostbelieve,thatthecircumstanceslikelytorenewitareexhausted.”
Hespokewiththediffidenceofamanwhoknewhowslightathingwouldoversetthedelicateorganisationofthemind,andyetwiththeconfidenceofamanwhohadslowlywonhisassuranceoutofpersonalenduranceanddistress.
Itwasnotforhisfriendtoabatethatconfidence.
Heprofessedhimselfmorerelievedandencouragedthanhereallywas,andapproachedhissecondandlastpoint.
Hefeltittobethemostdifficultofall;but,rememberinghisoldSundaymorningconversationwithMissPross,andrememberingwhathehadseeninthelastninedays,heknewthathemustfaceit.
“Theoccupationresumedundertheinfluenceofthispassingafflictionsohappilyrecoveredfrom,”saidMr.Lorry,clearinghisthroat,“wewillcall—Blacksmith’swork,Blacksmith’swork.
Wewillsay,toputacaseandforthesakeofillustration,thathehadbeenused,inhisbadtime,toworkatalittleforge.
Wewillsaythathewasunexpectedlyfoundathisforgeagain.
Isitnotapitythatheshouldkeepitbyhim?”
TheDoctorshadedhisforeheadwithhishand,andbeathisfootnervouslyontheground.
“Hehasalwayskeptitbyhim,”saidMr.Lorry,withananxiouslookathisfriend.“Now,woulditnotbebetterthatheshouldletitgo?”
Still,theDoctor,withshadedforehead,beathisfootnervouslyontheground.
“Youdonotfinditeasytoadviseme?”saidMr.Lorry.“Iquiteunderstandittobeanicequestion.AndyetIthink—”Andthereheshookhishead,andstopped.
“Yousee,”saidDoctorManette,turningtohimafteranuneasypause,“itisveryhardtoexplain,consistently,theinnermostworkingsofthispoorman’smind.
Heonceyearnedsofrightfullyforthatoccupation,anditwassowelcomewhenitcame;nodoubtitrelievedhispainsomuch,bysubstitutingtheperplexityofthefingersfortheperplexityofthebrain,andbysubstituting,ashebecamemorepractised,theingenuityofthehands,fortheingenuityofthementaltorture;thathehasneverbeenabletobearthethoughtofputtingitquiteoutofhisreach.
Evennow,whenIbelieveheismorehopefulofhimselfthanhehaseverbeen,andevenspeaksofhimselfwithakindofconfidence,theideathathemightneedthatoldemployment,andnotfindit,giveshimasuddensenseofterror,likethatwhichonemayfancystrikestotheheartofalostchild.”
Helookedlikehisillustration,asheraisedhiseyestoMr.Lorry’sface.
“Butmaynot—mind!Iaskforinformation,asaploddingmanofbusinesswhoonlydealswithsuchmaterialobjectsasguineas,shillings,andbank-notes—maynottheretentionofthethinginvolvetheretentionoftheidea?
Ifthethingweregone,mydearManette,mightnotthefeargowithit?
Inshort,isitnotaconcessiontothemisgiving,tokeeptheforge?”
Therewasanothersilence.
“Yousee,too,”saidtheDoctor,tremulously,“itissuchanoldcompanion.”
“Iwouldnotkeepit,”saidMr.Lorry,shakinghishead;forhegainedinfirmnessashesawtheDoctordisquieted.“Iwouldrecommendhimtosacrificeit.Ionlywantyourauthority.Iamsureitdoesnogood.Come!
Givemeyourauthority,likeadeargoodman.
Forhisdaughter’ssake,mydearManette!”
Verystrangetoseewhatastruggletherewaswithinhim!
“Inhername,then,letitbedone;Isanctionit.But,Iwouldnottakeitawaywhilehewaspresent.Letitberemovedwhenheisnotthere;lethimmisshisoldcompanionafteranabsence.”
Mr.Lorryreadilyengagedforthat,andtheconferencewasended.
Theypassedthedayinthecountry,andtheDoctorwasquiterestored.
Onthethreefollowingdaysheremainedperfectlywell,andonthefourteenthdayhewentawaytojoinLucieandherhusband.
Theprecautionthathadbeentakentoaccountforhissilence,Mr.Lorryhadpreviouslyexplainedtohim,andhehadwrittentoLucieinaccordancewithit,andshehadnosuspicions.
Onthenightofthedayonwhichheleftthehouse,Mr.Lorrywentintohisroomwithachopper,saw,chisel,andhammer,attendedbyMissProsscarryingalight.
There,withcloseddoors,andinamysteriousandguiltymanner,Mr.Lorryhackedtheshoemaker’sbenchtopieces,whileMissProssheldthecandleasifshewereassistingatamurder—forwhich,indeed,inhergrimness,shewasnounsuitablefigure.
Theburningofthebody(previouslyreducedtopiecesconvenientforthepurpose)wascommencedwithoutdelayinthekitchenfire;andthetools,shoes,andleather,wereburiedinthegarden.
Sowickeddodestructionandsecrecyappeartohonestminds,thatMr.LorryandMissPross,whileengagedinthecommissionoftheirdeedandintheremovalofitstraces,almostfelt,andalmostlooked,likeaccomplicesinahorriblecrime.
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