English
Moremonths,tothenumberoftwelve,hadcomeandgone,andMr.CharlesDarnaywasestablishedinEnglandasahigherteacheroftheFrenchlanguagewhowasconversantwithFrenchliterature.
Inthisage,hewouldhavebeenaProfessor;inthatage,hewasaTutor.
Hereadwithyoungmenwhocouldfindanyleisureandinterestforthestudyofalivingtonguespokenallovertheworld,andhecultivatedatasteforitsstoresofknowledgeandfancy.
Hecouldwriteofthem,besides,insoundEnglish,andrenderthemintosoundEnglish.
Suchmasterswerenotatthattimeeasilyfound;Princesthathadbeen,andKingsthatweretobe,werenotyetoftheTeacherclass,andnoruinednobilityhaddroppedoutofTellson’sledgers,toturncooksandcarpenters.
Asatutor,whoseattainmentsmadethestudent’swayunusuallypleasantandprofitable,andasaneleganttranslatorwhobroughtsomethingtohisworkbesidesmeredictionaryknowledge,youngMr.Darnaysoonbecameknownandencouraged.
Hewaswellacquainted,more-over,withthecircumstancesofhiscountry,andthosewereofever-growinginterest.
So,withgreatperseveranceanduntiringindustry,heprospered.
InLondon,hehadexpectedneithertowalkonpavementsofgold,nortolieonbedsofroses;ifhehadhadanysuchexaltedexpectation,hewouldnothaveprospered.
Hehadexpectedlabour,andhefoundit,anddiditandmadethebestofit.Inthis,hisprosperityconsisted.
AcertainportionofhistimewaspassedatCambridge,wherehereadwithundergraduatesasasortoftoleratedsmugglerwhodroveacontrabandtradeinEuropeanlanguages,insteadofconveyingGreekandLatinthroughtheCustom-house.
TherestofhistimehepassedinLondon.
Now,fromthedayswhenitwasalwayssummerinEden,tothesedayswhenitismostlywinterinfallenlatitudes,theworldofamanhasinvariablygoneoneway—CharlesDarnay’sway—thewayoftheloveofawoman.
HehadlovedLucieManettefromthehourofhisdanger.
Hehadneverheardasoundsosweetanddearasthesoundofhercompassionatevoice;hehadneverseenafacesotenderlybeautiful,asherswhenitwasconfrontedwithhisownontheedgeofthegravethathadbeendugforhim.
But,hehadnotyetspokentoheronthesubject;theassassinationatthedesertedchateaufarawaybeyondtheheavingwaterandthelong,tong,dustyroads—thesolidstonechateauwhichhaditselfbecomethemeremistofadream—hadbeendoneayear,andhehadneveryet,bysomuchasasinglespokenword,disclosedtoherthestateofhisheart.
Thathehadhisreasonsforthis,heknewfullwell.
Itwasagainasummerdaywhen,latelyarrivedinLondonfromhiscollegeoccupation,heturnedintothequietcornerinSoho,bentonseekinganopportunityofopeninghismindtoDoctorManette.
Itwasthecloseofthesummerday,andheknewLucietobeoutwithMissPross.
HefoundtheDoctorreadinginhisarm-chairatawindow.
Theenergywhichhadatoncesupportedhimunderhisoldsufferingsandaggravatedtheirsharpness,hadbeengraduallyrestoredtohim.
Hewasnowaveryenergeticmanindeed,withgreatfirmnessofpurpose,strengthofresolution,andvigourofaction.
Inhisrecoveredenergyhewassometimesalittlefitfulandsudden,ashehadatfirstbeenintheexerciseofhisotherrecoveredfaculties;but,thishadneverbeenfrequentlyobservable,andhadgrownmoreandmorerare.
Hestudiedmuch,sleptlittle,sustainedagreatdealoffatiguewithease,andwasequablycheerful.Tohim,nowenteredCharlesDarnay,atsightofwhomhelaidasidehisbookandheldouthishand.
“CharlesDarnay!Irejoicetoseeyou.
Wehavebeencountingonyourreturnthesethreeorfourdayspast.
Mr.StryverandSydneyCartonwerebothhereyesterday,andbothmadeyououttobemorethandue.”
“Iamobligedtothemfortheirinterestinthematter,”heanswered,alittlecoldlyastothem,thoughverywarmlyastotheDoctor.“MissManette—”
“Iswell,”saidtheDoctor,ashestoppedshort,“andyourreturnwilldelightusall.Shehasgoneoutonsomehouseholdmatters,butwillsoonbehome.”
“DoctorManette,Iknewshewasfromhome.Itooktheopportunityofherbeingfromhome,tobegtospeaktoyou.”
Therewasablanksilence.
“Yes?”saidtheDoctor,withevidentconstraint.“Bringyourchairhere,andspeakon.”
Hecompliedastothechair,butappearedtofindthespeakingonlesseasy.
“Ihavehadthehappiness,DoctorManette,ofbeingsointimatehere,”soheatlengthbegan,“forsomeyearandahalf,thatIhopethetopiconwhichIamabouttotouchmaynot—”
HewasstayedbytheDoctor’sputtingouthishandtostophim.Whenhehadkeptitsoalittlewhile,hesaid,drawingitback:
“IsLuciethetopic?”
“Sheis.”
“Itishardformetospeakofheratanytime.Itisveryhardformetohearherspokenofinthattoneofyours,CharlesDarnay.”
“Itisatoneofferventadmiration,truehomage,anddeeplove,DoctorManette!”hesaiddeferentially.
Therewasanotherblanksilencebeforeherfatherrejoined:
“Ibelieveit.Idoyoujustice;Ibelieveit.”
Hisconstraintwassomanifest,anditwassomanifest,too,thatitoriginatedinanunwillingnesstoapproachthesubject,thatCharlesDarnayhesitated.
“ShallIgoon,sir?”
Anotherblank.
“Yes,goon.”
“YouanticipatewhatIwouldsay,thoughyoucannotknowhowearnestlyIsayit,howearnestlyIfeelit,withoutknowingmysecretheart,andthehopesandfearsandanxietieswithwhichithaslongbeenladen.
DearDoctorManette,Iloveyourdaughterfondly,dearly,disinterestedly,devotedly.
Ifevertherewereloveintheworld,Iloveher.
Youhavelovedyourself;letyouroldlovespeakforme!”
TheDoctorsatwithhisfaceturnedaway,andhiseyesbentontheground.Atthelastwords,hestretchedouthishandagain,hurriedly,andcried:
“Notthat,sir!Letthatbe!Iadjureyou,donotrecallthat!”
Hiscrywassolikeacryofactualpain,thatitranginCharlesDarnay’searslongafterhehadceased.
Hemotionedwiththehandhehadextended,anditseemedtobeanappealtoDarnaytopause.
Thelattersoreceivedit,andremainedsilent.
“Iaskyourpardon,”saidtheDoctor,inasubduedtone,aftersomemoments.“IdonotdoubtyourlovingLucie;youmaybesatisfiedofit.”
Heturnedtowardshiminhischair,butdidnotlookathim,orraisehiseyes.Hischindroppeduponhishand,andhiswhitehairovershadowedhisface:
“HaveyouspokentoLucie?”
“No.”
“Norwritten?”
“Never.”
“Itwouldbeungeneroustoaffectnottoknowthatyourself-denialistobereferredtoyourconsiderationforherfather.Herfatherthanksyou.
Heofferedhishand;buthiseyesdidnotgowithit.
“Iknow,”saidDarnay,respectfully,“howcanIfailtoknow,DoctorManette,Iwhohaveseenyoutogetherfromdaytoday,thatbetweenyouandMissManettethereisanaffectionsounusual,sotouching,sobelongingtothecircumstancesinwhichithasbeennurtured,thatitcanhavefewparallels,eveninthetendernessbetweenafatherandchild.
Iknow,DoctorManette—howcanIfailtoknow—that,mingledwiththeaffectionanddutyofadaughterwhohasbecomeawoman,thereis,inherheart,towardsyou,alltheloveandrelianceofinfancyitself.
Iknowthat,asinherchildhoodshehadnoparent,sosheisnowdevotedtoyouwithalltheconstancyandfervourofherpresentyearsandcharacter,unitedtothetrustfulnessandattachmentoftheearlydaysinwhichyouwerelosttoher.
Iknowperfectlywellthatifyouhadbeenrestoredtoherfromtheworldbeyondthislife,youcouldhardlybeinvested,inhersight,withamoresacredcharacterthanthatinwhichyouarealwayswithher.
Iknowthatwhensheisclingingtoyou,thehandsofbaby,girl,andwoman,allinone,areroundyourneck.
Iknowthatinlovingyousheseesandloveshermotheratherownage,seesandlovesyouatmyage,loveshermotherbroken-hearted,lovesyouthroughyourdreadfultrialandinyourblessedrestoration.
Ihaveknownthis,nightandday,sinceIhaveknownyouinyourhome.”
Herfathersatsilent,withhisfacebentdown.Hisbreathingwasalittlequickened;butherepressedallothersignsofagitation.
“DearDoctorManette,alwaysknowingthis,alwaysseeingherandyouwiththishallowedlightaboutyou,Ihaveforborne,andforborne,aslongasitwasinthenatureofmantodoit.
Ihavefelt,anddoevennowfeel,thattobringmylove—evenmine—betweenyou,istotouchyourhistorywithsomethingnotquitesogoodasitself.ButIloveher.HeavenismywitnessthatIloveher!”
“Ibelieveit,”answeredherfather,mournfully.“Ihavethoughtsobeforenow.Ibelieveit.”
“But,donotbelieve,”saidDarnay,uponwhoseearthemournfulvoicestruckwithareproachfulsound,“thatifmyfortuneweresocastasthat,beingonedaysohappyastomakehermywife,Imustatanytimeputanyseparationbetweenherandyou,IcouldorwouldbreatheawordofwhatInowsay.
BesidesthatIshouldknowittobehopeless,Ishouldknowittobeabaseness.
IfIhadanysuchpossibility,evenataremotedistanceofyears,harbouredinmythoughts,andhiddeninmyheart—ifiteverhadbeenthere—ifitevercouldbethere—Icouldnotnowtouchthishonouredhand.”
Helaidhisownuponitashespoke.
“No,dearDoctorManette.Likeyou,avoluntaryexilefromFrance;likeyou,drivenfromitbyitsdistractions,oppressions,andmiseries;likeyou,strivingtoliveawayfromitbymyownexertions,andtrustinginahappierfuture;Ilookonlytosharingyourfortunes,sharingyourlifeandhome,andbeingfaithfultoyoutothedeath.
NottodividewithLucieherprivilegeasyourchild,companion,andfriend;buttocomeinaidofit,andbindherclosertoyou,ifsuchathingcanbe.”
Histouchstilllingeredonherfather’shand.
Answeringthetouchforamoment,butnotcoldly,herfatherrestedhishandsuponthearmsofhischair,andlookedupforthefirsttimesincethebeginningoftheconference.
Astrugglewasevidentlyinhisface;astrugglewiththatoccasionallookwhichhadatendencyinittodarkdoubtanddread.
“Youspeaksofeelinglyandsomanfully,CharlesDarnay,thatIthankyouwithallmyheart,andwillopenallmyheart—ornearlyso.HaveyouanyreasontobelievethatLucielovesyou?”
“None.Asyet,none.”
“Isittheimmediateobjectofthisconfidence,thatyoumayatonceascertainthat,withmyknowledge?”
“Notevenso.Imightnothavethehopefulnesstodoitforweeks;Imight(mistakenornotmistaken)havethathopefulnessto-morrow.”
“Doyouseekanyguidancefromme?”
“Iasknone,sir.ButIhavethoughtitpossiblethatyoumighthaveitinyourpower,ifyoushoulddeemitright,togivemesome.”
“Doyouseekanypromisefromme?”
“Idoseekthat.”
“Whatisit?”
“Iwellunderstandthat,withoutyou,Icouldhavenohope.
Iwellunderstandthat,evenifMissManetteheldmeatthismomentinherinnocentheart-donotthinkIhavethepresumptiontoassumesomuch—Icouldretainnoplaceinitagainstherloveforherfather.”
“Ifthatbeso,doyouseewhat,ontheotherhand,isinvolvedinit?”
“Iunderstandequallywell,thatawordfromherfatherinanysuitor’sfavour,wouldoutweighherselfandalltheworld.
Forwhichreason,DoctorManette,”saidDarnay,modestlybutfirmly,“Iwouldnotaskthatword,tosavemylife.”
“Iamsureofit.CharlesDarnay,mysteriesariseoutofcloselove,aswellasoutofwidedivision;intheformercase,theyaresubtleanddelicate,anddifficulttopenetrate.
MydaughterLucieis,inthisonerespect,suchamysterytome;Icanmakenoguessatthestateofherheart.”
“MayIask,sir,ifyouthinksheis—”Ashehesitated,herfathersuppliedtherest.
“Issoughtbyanyothersuitor?”
“ItiswhatImeanttosay.”
Herfatherconsideredalittlebeforeheanswered:
“YouhaveseenMr.Cartonhere,yourself.Mr.Stryverisheretoo,occasionally.Ifitbeatall,itcanonlybebyoneofthese.”
“Orboth,”saidDarnay.
“Ihadnotthoughtofboth;Ishouldnotthinkeither,likely.Youwantapromisefromme.Tellmewhatitis.”
“Itis,thatifMissManetteshouldbringtoyouatanytime,onherownpart,suchaconfidenceasIhaveventuredtolaybeforeyou,youwillbeartestimonytowhatIhavesaid,andtoyourbeliefinit.
Ihopeyoumaybeabletothinksowellofme,astourgenoinfluenceagainstme.
Isaynothingmoreofmystakeinthis;thisiswhatIask.
TheconditiononwhichIaskit,andwhichyouhaveanundoubtedrighttorequire,Iwillobserveimmediately.”
“Igivethepromise,”saidtheDoctor,“withoutanycondition.
Ibelieveyourobjecttobe,purelyandtruthfully,asyouhavestatedit.
Ibelieveyourintentionistoperpetuate,andnottoweaken,thetiesbetweenmeandmyotherandfardearerself.
Ifsheshouldevertellmethatyouareessentialtoherperfecthappiness,Iwillgivehertoyou.
Iftherewere—CharlesDarnay,iftherewere—”
Theyoungmanhadtakenhishandgratefully;theirhandswerejoinedastheDoctorspoke:
”—anyfancies,anyreasons,anyapprehensions,anythingwhatsoever,neworold,againstthemanshereallyloved—thedirectresponsibilitythereofnotlyingonhishead—theyshouldallbeobliteratedforhersake.
Sheiseverythingtome;moretomethansuffering,moretomethanwrong,moretome—Well!Thisisidletalk.”
Sostrangewasthewayinwhichhefadedintosilence,andsostrangehisfixedlookwhenhehadceasedtospeak,thatDarnayfelthisownhandturncoldinthehandthatslowlyreleasedanddroppedit.
“Yousaidsomethingtome,”saidDoctorManette,breakingintoasmile.“Whatwasityousaidtome?”
Hewasatalosshowtoanswer,untilherememberedhavingspokenofacondition.Relievedashismindrevertedtothat,heanswered:
“Yourconfidenceinmeoughttobereturnedwithfullconfidenceonmypart.
Mypresentname,thoughbutslightlychangedfrommymother’s,isnot,asyouwillremember,myown.
Iwishtotellyouwhatthatis,andwhyIaminEngland.”
“Stop!”saidtheDoctorofBeauvais.
“Iwishit,thatImaythebetterdeserveyourconfidence,andhavenosecretfromyou.”
“Stop!”
Foraninstant,theDoctorevenhadhistwohandsathisears;foranotherinstant,evenhadhistwohandslaidonDarnay’slips.
“TellmewhenIaskyou,notnow.Ifyoursuitshouldprosper,ifLucieshouldloveyou,youshalltellmeonyourmarriagemorning.Doyoupromise?”
“Willingly.
“Givemeyourhand.Shewillbehomedirectly,anditisbettersheshouldnotseeustogetherto-night.Go!Godblessyou!”
ItwasdarkwhenCharlesDarnaylefthim,anditwasanhourlateranddarkerwhenLuciecamehome;shehurriedintotheroomalone—forMissProsshadgonestraightup-stairs—andwassurprisedtofindhisreading-chairempty.
“Myfather!”shecalledtohim.“Fatherdear!”
Nothingwassaidinanswer,butsheheardalowhammeringsoundinhisbedroom.
Passinglightlyacrosstheintermediateroom,shelookedinathisdoorandcamerunningbackfrightened,cryingtoherself,withherbloodallchilled,“WhatshallIdo!WhatshallIdo!”
Heruncertaintylastedbutamoment;shehurriedback,andtappedathisdoor,andsoftlycalledtohim.
Thenoiseceasedatthesoundofhervoice,andhepresentlycameouttoher,andtheywalkedupanddowntogetherforalongtime.
Shecamedownfromherbed,tolookathiminhissleepthatnight.Hesleptheavily,andhistrayofshoemakingtools,andhisoldunfinishedwork,wereallasusual.
Share this article to
FINISH