English
“YourImperialHighnesses!”hebegan.“It’stheoldBeggaragain!Shallwesetthedogsathim?”
“Bringhimhere!”saidtheEmperor.
TheChancellorcouldscarcelybelievehisears.“HereyourImperialHighness?DidIrightlyunderstand—”
Bringhimhere!”theEmperorthunderedoncemore.TheChancellortottereddownthehall—andinanotherminutethecrowddivided,andthepooroldBeggarwasseenenteringtheBanqueting-Hall.
Hewasindeedapitiableobject:therags,thathungabouthim,wereallsplashedwithmud:hiswhitehairandhislongbeardweretossedaboutinwilddisorder.
Yethewalkedupright,withastatelytread,asifusedtocommand:and—strangestsightofall—SylvieandBrunocamewithhim,clingingtohishands,andgazingathimwithlooksofsilentlove.
MenlookedeagerlytoseehowtheEmperorwouldreceivetheboldintruder.
Wouldhehurlhimfromthestepsofthedais?Butno.
TotheirutterastonishmenttheEmperorkneltasthebeggarapproached,andwithbowedheadmurmured“Forgiveus!”
“Forgiveus!”theEmpress,kneelingatherhusband’sside,meeklyrepeated.
TheOutcastsmiled.“Riseup!”hesaid.“Iforgiveyou!”
Andmensawwithwonderthatachangehadpassedovertheoldbeggar,evenashespoke.
Whathadseemed,butnow,tobevileragsandsplashesofmud,wereseentobeintruthkinglytrappings,broideredwithgold,andsparklingwithgems.
Allknewhimnow,andbentlowbeforetheElderBrother,thetrueWarden.
“Brothermine,andSistermine!”theWardenbegan,inaclearvoicethatwasheardallthroughthatvasthall.“Icomenottodisturbyou.Ruleon,asEmperor,andrulewisely.ForIamchosenKingofElfland.
To-morrowIreturnthere,takingnoughtfromthence,saveonly—saveonly—”hisvoicetrembled,andwithalookofineffabletenderness,helaidhishandsinsilenceontheheadsofthetwolittleoneswhoclungaroundhim.
Butherecoveredhimselfinamoment,andbeckonedtotheEmperortoresumehisplaceatthetable.
Thecompanyseatedthemselvesagain—roombeingfoundfortheElfin-Kingbetweenhistwochildren—andtheLordChancellorroseoncemore,toproposethenexttoast.
“Thenexttoast—theherooftheday—why,heisn’there!”hebrokeoffinwildconfusion.
Goodgracious!EverybodyhadforgottenPrinceUggug!
“HewastoldoftheBanquet,ofcourse?”saidtheEmperor.
“Undoubtedly!”repliedtheChancellor.“ThatwouldbethedutyoftheGoldStickinWaiting.”
“LettheGoldStickcomeforwards!”theEmperorgravelysaid.
TheGoldStickcameforwards.“IattendedonHisImperialFatness,”wasthestatementmadebythetremblingofficial.“ItoldhimoftheLectureandtheBanquet—.”
“Whatfollowed!”saidtheEmperor:fortheunhappymanseemedalmosttoofrightenedtogoon.
“HisImperialFatnesswasgraciouslypleasedtobesulky.HisImperialFatnesswasgraciouslypleasedtoboxmyears.HisImperialFatnesswasgraciouslypleasedtosay‘Idon’tcare!’”
“‘Don’t-care’cametoabadend,”SylviewhisperedtoBruno.“I’mnotsure,butIbelievehewashanged.”
TheProfessoroverheardher.“Thatresult”,heblandlyremarked,wasmerelyacaseofmistakenidentity.”
Bothchildrenlookedpuzzled.
“Permitmetoexplain.‘Don’t-care’and‘Care’weretwin-brothers.‘Care’,youknow,killedtheCat.
AndtheycaughtDon’t-care’bymistake,andhangedhiminstead.Andso‘Care’isalivestill.
Buthe’sveryunhappywithouthisbrother.
That’swhytheysay‘Begone,dullCare!’”
“Thankyou!”Sylviesaid,heartily.“It’sveryextremelyinteresting.Why,itseemstoexplaineverything!”
“Well,notquiteeverything,”theProfessormodestlyrejoined.“Therearetwoorthreescientificdifficulties—”
WhatwasyourgeneralimpressionastoHisImperialFatness?”theEmperoraskedtheGoldStick.
“MyimpressionwasthatHisImperialFatnesswasgettingmore—”
“Morewhat?”
Alllistenedbreathlesslyforthenextword.
“MorePRICKLY!”
“Hemustbesentforatonce!”theEmperorexclaimed.AndtheGoldStickwentofflikeashot.TheElfin-Kingsadlyshookhishead.“Nouse,nouse!”hemurmuredtohimself.“Loveless,loveless!”
Pale,trembling,speechless,theGoldStickcameslowlybackagain.
“Well?”saidtheEmperor.“WhydoesnotthePrinceappear?”
“Onecaneasilyguess,”saidtheProfessor.“HisImperialFatnessis,withoutdoubt,alittlepreoccupied.”
Brunoturnedalookofsolemnenquiryonhisoldfriend.“Whatdothatwordmean?”
ButtheProfessortooknonoticeofthequestion.HewaseagerlylisteningtotheGoldStick’sreply.
“PleaseyourHighness!HisImperialFatnessis—”Notawordmorecouldheutter.
TheEmpressroseinanagonyofalarm.“Letusgotohim!”shecried.Andtherewasageneralrushforthedoor.
Brunoslippedoffhischairinamoment.“Maywegotoo?”heeagerlyasked.
ButtheKingdidnothearthequestion,astheProfessorwasspeakingtohim.“Preoccupied,yourMajesty!”hewassaying.“Thatiswhatheis,nodoubt!”
“Maywegoandseehim?”Brunorepeated.
TheKingnoddedassent,andthechildrenranoff.
Inaminuteortwotheyreturned,slowlyandgravely.“Well?”saidtheKing.“What’sthematterwiththePrince?”
“He’s—whatyousaid,”BrunorepliedlookingattheProfessor.“Thathardword.”AndhelookedtoSylvieforassistance.
“Porcupine,”saidSylvie.
“No,no!”theProfessorcorrectedher.Pre-occupied,youmean.”
“No,it’sporcupine,”persistedSylvie.“Notthatotherwordatall.Andpleasewillyoucome?Thehouseisallinanuproar.”(”Andoo’dbetterbringanuproar-glasswizoo!”addedBruno.)
Wegotupingreathaste,andfollowedthechildrenupstairs.
Noonetooktheleastnoticeofme,butIwasn’tatallsurprisedatthis,asIhadlongrealizedthatIwasquiteinvisibletothemall—eventoSylvieandBruno.
Allalongthegallery,thatledtothePrince’sapartment,anexcitedcrowdwassurgingtoandfro,andtheBabelofvoiceswasdeafening:againstthedooroftheroomthreestrongmenwereleaning,vainlytryingtoshutit—forsomegreatanimalinsidewasconstantlyburstingithalfopen,andwehadaglimpse,beforethemencouldpushitbackagain,oftheheadofafuriouswildbeast,withgreatfieryeyesandgnashingteeth.
Itsvoicewasasortofmixture—therewastheroaringofalion,andthebellowingofabull,andnowandthenascreamlikeagiganticparrot.“Thereisnojudgingbythevoice!”
theProfessorcriedingreatexcitement.“Whatisit?”heshoutedtothemenatthedoor.
Andageneralchorusofvoicesansweredhim“Porcupine!
PrinceUggughasturnedintoaPorcupine!”
“AnewSpecimen!”exclaimedthedelightedProfessor.“Prayletmegoin.Itshouldbelabeledatonce!”
Butthestrongmenonlypushedhimback.“Labelit,indeed!Doyouwanttobeeatenup?”theycried.
“NevermindaboutSpecimens,Professor!”saidtheEmperor,pushinghiswaythroughthecrowd.“Tellushowtokeephimsafe!”
“Alargecage!”theProfessorpromptlyreplied.
“Bringalargecage,”hesaidtothepeoplegenerally,“withstrongbarsofsteel,andaportcullismadetogoupanddownlikeamouse-trap!
Doesanyonehappentohavesuchathingabouthim?”
Itdidn’tsoundalikelysortofthingforanyonetohaveabouthim;however,theybroughthimonedirectly:curiouslyenough,therehappenedtobeonestandinginthegallery.
“Putitfacingtheopeningofthedoor,anddrawuptheportcullis!”Thiswasdoneinamoment.
“Blanketsnow”criedtheProfessor.“ThisisamostinterestingExperiment!”
Therehappenedtobeapileofblanketscloseby:andtheProfessorhadhardlysaidtheword,whentheywereallunfoldedandhelduplikecurtainsallaround.
TheProfessorrapidlyarrangedthemintworows,soastomakeadarkpassage,leadingstraightfromthedoortothemouthofthecage.
“Nowflingthedooropen!”Thisdidnotneedtobedone:thethreemenhadonlytoleapoutoftheway,andthefearfulmonsterflungthedooropenforitself,and,withayelllikethewhistleofasteam-engine,rushedintothecage.
“Downwiththeportcullis!”Nosoonersaidthandone:andallbreathedfreelyoncemore,onseeingthePorcupinesafelycaged.
TheProfessorrubbedhishandsinchildishdelight.“TheExperimenthassucceeded!”heproclaimed.“Allthatisneedednowistofeeditthreetimesaday,onchoppedcarrotsand—”
“Nevermindaboutitsfood,justnow!”theEmperorinterrupted.“LetusreturntotheBanquet.Brother,willyouleadtheway?”
Andtheoldman,attendedbyhischildren,headedtheprocessiondownstairs.“Seethefateofalovelesslife!”
hesaidtoBruno,astheyreturnedtotheirplaces.
TowhichBrunomadereply,“IalwayslovedSylvie,soI’llnevergetpricklylikethat!”
“Heisprickly,certainly,”saidtheProfessor,whohadcaughtthelastwords,“butwemustrememberthat,howeverporcupiny,heisroyalstill!
Afterthisfeastisover,I’mgoingtotakealittlepresenttoPrinceUggug—justtosoothehim,youknow:itisn’tpleasantlivinginacage.”
“What’llyougivehimforabirthday-present?”Brunoenquired.
“Asmallsaucerofchoppedcarrots,”repliedtheProfessor.“Ingivingbirthday-presents,mymottois—cheapness!IshouldthinkIsavefortypoundsayearbygiving—oh,whatatwingeofpain!”
“Whatisit?”saidSylvieanxiously.
“Myoldenemy!”groanedtheProfessor.“Lumbago—rheumatism—thatsortofthing.IthinkI’llgoandliedownabit.”AndhehobbledoutoftheSaloon,watchedbythepityingeyesofthetwochildren.
“He’llbebettersoon!”theElfin-Kingsaidcheerily“Brother!”
turningtotheEmperor,“Ihavesomebusinesstoarrangewithyouto-night.
TheEmpresswilltakecareofthechildren.”
AndthetwoBrotherswentawaytogether,arm-in-arm.
TheEmpressfoundthechildrenrathersadcompany.
Theycouldtalkofnothingbut“thedearProfessor”,and“whatapityhe’ssoill”,tillatlastshemadethewelcomeproposal“Let’sgoandseehim!”
Thechildreneagerlygraspedthehandssheofferedthem:andwewentofftotheProfessor’sstudy,andfoundhimlyingonthesofa,coveredupwithblankets,andreadingalittlemanuscript-book.“NotesonVol.Three!”hemurmured,lookingupatus.
Andthere,onatablenearhim,laythebookhewasseekingwhenfirstIsawhim.
“Andhowareyounow,Professor?”theEmpressaskedbendingovertheinvalid.
TheProfessorlookedup,andsmiledfeebly.“AsdevotedtoyourImperialHighnessasever!”hesaidinaweakvoice.“Allofme,thatisnotLumbago,isLoyalty!”
“Asweetsentiment!”theEmpressexclaimedwithtearsinhereyes.“YouseldomhearanythingsobeautifulasthateveninaValentine!”
“Wemusttakeyoutostayattheseaside,”Sylviesaidtenderly.“It’lldoyoueversomuchgood!AndtheSea’ssogrand!”
“ButaMountain’sgrander!”saidBruno.
“WhatistheregrandabouttheSea?”saidtheProfessor.“Why,youcouldputitallintoateacup!”
“Someofit,”Sylviecorrectedhim.
“Well,you’donlywantacertainnumberofteacupstoholditall.Andthenwhere’sthegrandeur?
ThenastoaMountain—why,youcouldcarryitallawayinawheelbarrow,inacertainnumberofyears!”
“Itwouldn’tlookgrand—thebitsofitinthewheelbarrow,”Sylviecandidlyadmitted.
“Butwhenooputittogetheragain—”Brunobegan.
“Whenyou’reolder,”saidtheProfessor,“you’llknowthatyouca’n’tputMountainstogetheragainsoeasily!Onelivesandonelearns,youknow!”
“Butitneedn’tbethesameone,needit?”saidBruno“Wo’n’titdo,ifIlive,andifSylvielearns?”
“Ica’n’tlearnwithoutliving!”saidSylvie.
“ButIcanlivewithoutlearning!”Brunoretorted.“Oojusttryme!”
“WhatImeant,was—”theProfessorbegan,lookingmuchpuzzled,“—was—thatyoudon’tknoweverything,youknow.”
“ButIdoknoweverythingIknow!”persistedthelittlefellow.“Iknoweversomanythings!Everything,‘ceptthethingsIdon’tknow.AndSylvieknowsalltherest.”
TheProfessorsighed,andgaveitup.“DoyouknowwhataBoojumis?”
“Iknow!”criedBruno.“It’sthethingwhatwrenchespeopleoutoftheirboots!”
“Hemeans‘bootjack’,”Sylvieexplainedinawhisper.
“Youca’n’twrenchpeopleoutofboots,”theProfessormildlyobserved.
Brunolaughedsaucily.“Oocan,though!Unlessthey’rewellytightin.”
“OnceuponatimetherewasaBoojum—”theProfessorbegan,butstoppedsuddenly.
“IforgettherestoftheFable,”hesaid.
“Andtherewasalessontobelearnedfromit.I’mafraidIforgetthattoo.”
“I’lltellooaFable!”Brunobeganinagreathurry.“OncetherewereaLocust,andaMagpie,andaEngine-driver.AndtheLessonis,tolearntogetupearly—”
“Itisn’tabitinteresting!”Sylviesaidcontemptuously.“Youshouldn’tputtheLessonsosoon.”
“WhendidyouinventthatFable?”saidtheProfessor.“Lastweek?”
“No!”saidBruno.“Adealshorteragothanthat,Guessagain!”
“Ica’n’tguess,”saidtheProfessor.“Howlongago?”
“Why,itisn’tinventedyet!”Brunoexclaimedtriumphantly.“ButIhaveinventedalovelyone!ShallIsayit?”
“Ifyou’vefinishedinventingit,”saidSylvie.“AndlettheLessonbe‘totryagain’!”
“No,”saidBrunowithgreatdecision.“TheLessonare’nottotryagain’!”
“Oncetherewerealovelychinaman,whatstoodonthechimbley-piece.Andhestood,andhestood.
Andonedayhetumblededoff,andhedidn’thurthisselfonebit.Onlyhewouldtryagain.
Andthenexttimehetumblededoff,hehurtedhisselfwellymuch,andbreakedoffeversomuchvarnish.”
“Buthowdidhecomebackonthechimney-pieceafterhisfirsttumble?”saidtheEmpress.(Itwasthefirstsensiblequestionshehadaskedinallherlife.)
“Iputhimthere!”criedBruno.
“ThenI’mafraidyouknowsomethingabouthistumbling,”saidtheProfessor.“Perhapsyoupushedhim?”
TowhichBrunoreplied,veryseriously,“Didn’tpushedhimmuch—hewerealovelychinaman,”headdedhastily,evidentlyveryanxioustochangethesubject.
“Come,mychildren!”saidtheElfin-King,whohadjustenteredtheroom.
“Wemusthavealittlechattogether,beforeyougotobed.”
Andhewasleadingthemaway,butatthedoortheyletgohishands,andranbackagaintowishtheProfessorgoodnight.
“Goodnight,Professor,goodnight!”AndBrunosolemnlyshookhandswiththeoldman,whogazedathimwithalovingsmile,whileSylviebentdowntopresshersweetlipsuponhisforehead.
“Goodnight,littleones!”saidtheProfessor.“Youmayleavemenow—toruminate.
I’masjollyasthedayislong,exceptwhenit’snecessarytoruminateonsomeverydifficultsubject.
Allofme,”hemurmuredsleepilyaswelefttheroom,“allofme,thatisn’tBonhommie,isRumination!”
“Whatdidhesay,Bruno?”Sylvieenquired,assoonasweweresafelyoutofhearing.
“Ithinkhesaid‘Allofmethatisn’tBone-diseaseisRheumatism.’Whateverarethatknocking,Sylvie?”
Sylviestopped,andlistenedanxiously.Itsoundedlikesomeonekickingatadoor,“Ihopeitisn’tthatPorcupinebreakingloose!”sheexclaimed.
“Let’sgoon!”Brunosaidhastily.“There’snuffintowaitfor,ooknow!”
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