English
Andsoitcametopassthat,justaweekafterthedaywhenmyFairy-friendsfirstappearedasChildren,Ifoundmyselftakingafarewell-strollthroughthewood,inthehopeofmeetingthemoncemore.
Ihadbuttostretchmyselfonthesmoothturf,andthe‘eerie’feelingwasonmeinamoment.
“Putoorearwellylowdown,”saidBruno,“andI’lltellooasecret!It’stheFrogs’Birthday-Treat—andwe’velosttheBaby!”
“WhatBaby?”Isaid,quitebewilderedbythiscomplicatedpieceofnews.
“TheQueen’sBaby,acourse!”saidBruno.“Titania’sBaby.Andwe’swellysorry.Sylvie,she’s—ohsosorry!”
“Howsorryisshe?”Iasked,mischievously.
“Three-quartersofayard,”Brunorepliedwithperfectsolemnity.“AndI’malittlesorrytoo,”headded,shuttinghiseyessoasnottoseethathewassmiling.
“AndwhatareyoudoingabouttheBaby?”
“Well,thesoldiersarealllookingforit—upanddowneverywhere.”
“Thesoldiers?”Iexclaimed.
“Yes,acourse!”saidBruno.“Whenthere’snofightingtobedone,thesoldiersdoosanylittleoddjobs,ooknow.”
Iwasamusedattheideaofitsbeinga‘littleoddjob’tofindtheRoyalBaby.“Buthowdidyoucometoloseit?”Iasked.
“Weputitinaflower,”Sylvie,whohadjustjoinedus,explainedwithhereyesfulloftears.“Onlyweca’n’trememberwhich!”
“Shesaysusputitinaflower,”Brunointerrupted,“’causeshedoosn’twantItogetpunished.Butitwerereallymewhatputitthere.SylviewerepickingDindledums.”
“Youshouldn’tsay‘usputitinaflower’,”Sylvieverygravelyremarked.
“Well,hus,then,”saidBruno.“InevercanrememberthosehorridH’s!”
“Letmehelpyoutolookforit,”Isaid.SoSylvieandImadea‘voyageofdiscovery’amongalltheflowers;buttherewasnoBabytobeseen.
“What’sbecomeofBruno?”Isaid,whenwehadcompletedourtour.
“He’sdownintheditchthere,”saidSylvie,“amusingayoungFrog.”
Iwentdownonmyhandsandkneestolookforhim,forIfeltverycurioustoknowhowyoungFrogsoughttobeamused.
Afteraminute’ssearch,Ifoundhimsittingattheedgeoftheditch,bythesideofthelittleFrog,andlookingratherdisconsolate.
“Howareyougettingon,Bruno?”Isaid,noddingtohimashelookedup.
“Ca’n’tamuseitnomore,”Brunoanswered,verydolefully,“’causeitwon’tsaywhatitwouldliketodonext!
I’veshoweditalltheduck-weeds—andalivecaddis-worm—butitwon’tsaynuffin!What—wouldoolike?’
heshoutedintotheearoftheFrog:butthelittlecreaturesatquitestill,andtooknonoticeofhim.“It’sdeaf,Ithink!”Brunosaid,turningawaywithasigh.
“Andit’stimetogettheTheatreready.”
“Whoaretheaudiencetobe?”
“OnlybutFrogs,”saidBruno.“Buttheyhaven’tcomedyet.Theywantstobedroveup,likesheep.”
“Woulditsavetime,”Isuggested,“ifIweretowalkroundwithSylvie,todriveuptheFrogs,whileyougettheTheatreready?”
“Thatareagoodplan!”criedBruno.“ButwhereareSylvie?”
“I’mhere!”saidSylvie,peepingovertheedgeofthebank.“IwasjustwatchingtwoFrogsthatwerehavingarace.”
“Whichwonit?“Brunoeagerlyinquired.
Sylviewaspuzzled.“Hedoesasksuchhardquestions!”sheconfidedtome.
“Andwhat’stohappenintheTheatre?”Iasked.
“FirsttheyhavetheirBirthday-Feast,”Sylviesaid:“thenBrunodoessomeBitsofShakespeare;thenhetellsthemaStory.”
“IshouldthinktheFrogsliketheFeastbest.Don’tthey?”
“Well,there’sgenerallyveryfewofthemthatgetany.
Theywillkeeptheirmouthsshutsotight!
Andit’sjustaswelltheydo,”sheadded,“becauseBrunolikestocookithimself:andhecooksveryqueerly.”Nowthey’reallin.
Wouldyoujusthelpmetoputthemwiththeirheadstherightway?”
Wesoonmanagedthispartofthebusiness,thoughtheFrogskeptupamostdiscontentedcroakingallthetime.
“Whataretheysaying?”IaskedSylvie.
“They’resaying‘Fork!Fork!’It’sverysillyofthem!You’renotgoingtohaveforks!”sheannouncedwithsomeseverity.
“ThosethatwantanyFeasthavejustgottoopentheirmouths,andBruno‘llputsomeofitin!”
AtthismomentBrunoappeared,wearingalittlewhiteaprontoshowthathewasaCook,andcarryingatureenfullofveryqueer-lookingsoup.
IwatchedverycarefullyashemovedaboutamongtheFrogs;butIcouldnotseethatanyofthemopenedtheirmouthstobefed—exceptoneveryyoungone,andI’mnearlysureitdiditaccidentally,inyawning.
HoweverBrunoinstantlyputalargespoonfulofsoupintoitsmouth,andthepoorlittlethingcoughedviolentlyforsometime.
SoSylvieandIhadtosharethesoupbetweenus,andtopretendtoenjoyit,foritcertainlywasveryqueerlycooked.
Ionlyventuredtotakeonespoonfulofit(“Sylvie’sSummer-Soup,”Brunosaiditwas),andmustcandidlyconfessthatitwasnotatallnice;andIcouldnotfeelsurprisedthatsomanyoftheguestshadkepttheirmouthsshutuptight.
“What’sthesoupmadeof,Bruno?”saidSylvie,whohadputaspoonfulofittoherlips,andwasmakingawryfaceoverit.
AndBruno’sanswerwasanythingbutencouraging.“Bitsofthings!”
Theentertainmentwastoconcludewith“BitsofShakespeare,”asSylvieexpressedit,whichwerealltobedonebyBruno,SylviebeingfullyengagedinmakingtheFrogskeeptheirheadstowardsthestage:afterwhichBrunowastoappearinhisrealcharacter,andtellthemaStoryofhisowninvention.
“WilltheStoryhaveaMoraltoit?”IaskedSylvie,whileBrunowasawaybehindthehedge,dressingforthefirst‘Bit.’
“Ithinkso,”Sylviereplieddoubtfully.“TheregenerallyisaMoral,onlyheputsitintoosoon.”
“AndwillhesayalltheBitsofShakespeare?”
“No,he’llonlyactthem,”saidSylvie.“Heknowshardlyanyofthewords.
WhenIseewhathe’sdressedlike,I’vetotelltheFrogswhatcharacteritis.
They’realwaysinsuchahurrytoguess!Don’tyouhearthemallsaying‘What?What?
’”Andsoindeedtheywere:ithadonlysoundedlikecroaking,tillSylvieexplainedit,butIcouldnowmakeoutthe“Wawt?Wawt?”quitedistinctly.
“Butwhydotheytrytoguessitbeforetheyseeit?”
“Idon’tknow,”Sylviesaid:“buttheyalwaysdo.Sometimestheybeginguessingweeksandweeksbeforetheday!”
(Sonow,whenyouheartheFrogscroakinginaparticularlymelancholyway,youmaybesurethey’retryingtoguessBruno’snextShakespeare‘Bit’.Isn’tthatinteresting?)
However,thechorusofguessingwascutshortbyBruno,whosuddenlyrushedonfrombehindthescenes,andtookaflyingleapdownamongtheFrogs,tore-arrangethem.
FortheoldestandfattestFrog—whohadneverbeenproperlyarrangedsothathecouldseethestage,andsohadnoideawhatwasgoingon—wasgettingrestless,andhadupsetseveraloftheFrogs,andturnedothersroundwiththeirheadsthewrongway.
Anditwasnogoodatall,Brunosaid,todoa‘Bit’ofShakespearewhentherewasnobodytolookatit(youseehedidn’tcountmeasanybody).
Sohesettoworkwithastick,stirringthemup,verymuchasyouwouldstirupteainacup,tillmostofthemhadatleastonegreatstupideyegazingatthestage.
“Oomustcomeandsitamongthem,Sylvie,”hesaidindespair,“I’veputthesetwoside-by-side,withtheirnosesthesameway,eversomanytimes,buttheydosquarrelso!”
SoSylvietookherplaceas‘MistressoftheCeremonies,’andBrunovanishedagainbehindthescenes,todressforthefirst‘Bit.’
“Hamlet!”wassuddenlyproclaimed,intheclearsweettonesIknewsowell.
Thecroakingallceasedinamoment,andIturnedtothestage,insomecuriositytoseewhatBruno’sideaswereastothebehaviorofShakespeare’sgreatestCharacter.
AccordingtothiseminentinterpreteroftheDrama,Hamletworeashortblackcloak(whichhechieflyusedformufflinguphisface,asifhesufferedagooddealfromtoothache),andturnedouthistoesverymuchashewalked.“Tobeornottobe!”
Hamletremarkedinacheerfultone,andthenturnedhead-over-heelsseveraltimes,hiscloakdroppingoffintheperformance.
Ifeltalittledisappointed:Bruno’sconceptionofthepartseemedsowantingindignity.“Won’thesayanymoreofthespeech?”IwhisperedtoSylvie.
“Ithinknot,”Sylviewhisperedinreply.“Hegenerallyturnshead-over-heelswhenhedoesn’tknowanymorewords.”
Brunohadmeanwhilesettledthequestionbydisappearingfromthestage;andtheFrogsinstantlybeganinquiringthenameofthenextCharacter.
“You’llknowdirectly!”criedSylvie,assheadjustedtwoorthreeyoungFrogsthathadstruggledroundwiththeirbackstothestage.“Macbeth!”sheadded,asBrunore-appeared.
Macbethhadsomethingtwistedroundhim,thatwentoveroneshoulderandundertheotherarm,andwasmeant,Ibelieve,foraScotchplaid.
Hehadathorninhishand,whichheheldoutatarm’slength,asifhewerealittleafraidofit.“Isthisadagger?”
Macbethinquired,inapuzzledsortoftone:andinstantlyachorusof“Thorn!Thorn!”
arosefromtheFrogs(Ihadquitelearnedtounderstandtheircroakingbythistime).
“It’sadagger!”Sylvieproclaimedinaperemptorytone.“Holdyourtongues!”Andthecroakingceasedatonce.
Shakespearehasnottoldus,sofarasIknow,thatMacbethhadanysucheccentrichabitasturninghead-over-heelsinprivatelife:butBrunoevidentlyconsidereditquiteanessentialpartofthecharacter,andleftthestageinaseriesofsomersaults.
However,hewasbackagaininafewmoments,havingtuckedunderhischintheendofatuftofwool(probablyleftonthethornbyawanderingsheep),whichmadeamagnificentbeard,thatreachednearlydowntohisfeet.
“Shylock!”Sylvieproclaimed.“No,Ibegyourpardon!”
shehastilycorrectedherself,“KingLear!Ihadn’tnoticedthecrown.”
(Brunohadverycleverlyprovidedone,whichfittedhimexactly,bycuttingoutthecentreofadandeliontomakeroomforhishead.)
KingLearfoldedhisarms(totheimminentperilofhisbeard)andsaid,inamildexplanatorytone,“Ay,everyinchaking!”
andthenpaused,asiftoconsiderhowthiscouldbestbeproved.
Andhere,withallpossibledeferencetoBrunoasaShakespeariancritic,Imustexpressmyopinionthatthepoetdidnotmeanhisthreegreattragicheroestobesostrangelyalikeintheirpersonalhabits;nordoIbelievethathewouldhaveacceptedthefacultyofturninghead-over-heelsasanyproofatallofroyaldescent.
YetitappearedthatKingLear,afterdeepmeditation,couldthinkofnootherargumentbywhichtoprovehiskingship:and,asthiswasthelastofthe‘Bits’ofShakespeare(“Weneverdomorethanthree,”Sylvieexplainedinawhisper),Brunogavetheaudiencequitealongseriesofsomersaultsbeforehefinallyretired,leavingtheenrapturedFrogsallcryingout“More!More!”
whichIsupposewastheirwayofencoringaperformance.
ButBrunowouldn’tappearagain,tillthepropertimecamefortellingtheStory.
Whenheappearedatlastinhisrealcharacter,Inoticedaremarkablechangeinhisbehavior.
Hetriednomoresomersaults.Itwasclearlyhisopinionthat,howeversuitablethehabitofturninghead-over-heelsmightbetosuchpettyindividualsasHamletandKingLear,itwouldneverdoforBrunotosacrificehisdignitytosuchanextent.
Butitwasequallyclearthathedidnotfeelentirelyathisease,standingallaloneonthestage,withnocostumetodisguisehim:andthoughhebegan,severaltimes,
“TherewereaMouse—,”hekeptglancingupanddown,andonallsides,asifinsearchofmorecomfortablequartersfromwhichtotelltheStory.
Standingononesideofthestage,andpartlyovershadowingit,wasatallfoxglove,whichseemed,astheeveningbreezegentlyswayedithitherandthither,toofferexactlythesortofaccommodationthattheoratordesired.
Havingoncedecidedonhisquarters,itneededonlyasecondortwoforhimtorunupthestemlikeatinysquirrel,andtoseathimselfastrideonthetopmostbend,wherethefairy-bellsclusteredmostclosely,andfromwhencehecouldlookdownonhisaudiencefromsuchaheightthatallshynessvanished,andhebeganhisStorymerrily.
“OncetherewereaMouseandaCrocodileandaManandaGoatandaLion.”
Ihadneverheardthe‘dramatispersonae’tumbledintoastorywithsuchprofusionandinsuchrecklesshaste;anditfairlytookmybreathaway.
EvenSylviegavealittlegasp,andallowedthreeoftheFrogs,whoseemedtobegettingtiredoftheentertainment,tohopawayintotheditch,withoutattemptingtostopthem.
“AndtheMousefoundaShoe,anditthoughtitwereaMouse-trap.Soitgotrightin,anditstayedineversolong.”
“Whydiditstayin?”saidSylvie.
HerfunctionseemedtobemuchthesameasthatoftheChorusinaGreekPlay:shehadtoencouragetheorator,anddrawhimout,byaseriesofintelligentquestions.
“’Causeitthoughtitcouldn’tgetoutagain,”Brunoexplained.“Itwereaclevermouse.Itknewitcouldn’tgetoutoftraps!”
Butwhydiditgoinatall?”saidSylvie.
“—anditjamp,anditjamp,”Brunoproceeded,ignoringthisquestion,“andatlastitgotrightoutagain.AnditlookedatthemarkintheShoe.AndtheMan’snamewereinit.Soitknewitwasn’titsownShoe.”
“Haditthoughtitwas?”saidSylvie.
“Why,didn’tItellooitthoughtitwereaMouse-trap?”theindignantoratorreplied.
“Please,MisterSir,willoomakeSylvieattend?”
Sylviewassilenced,andwasallattention:infact,sheandIweremostoftheaudiencenow,astheFrogskepthoppingaway,andtherewereveryfewofthemleft.
“SotheMousegavetheManhisShoe.
AndtheManwerewellyglad,causehehadn’tgotbutoneShoe,andhewerehoppingtogettheother.”
HereIventuredonaquestion.“Doyoumean‘hopping,’or‘hoping’?”
“Bofe,”saidBruno.“AndtheMantooktheGoatoutoftheSack.”
(“Wehaven’theardofthesackbefore,”Isaid.
“Noryouwon’thearofitagain,”saidBruno).
“AndhesaidtotheGoat,‘OowillwalkaboutheretillIcomesback.’
Andhewentandhetumbledintoadeephole.AndtheGoatwalkedroundandround.AnditwalkedundertheTree.Anditwugitstail.AnditlookedupintheTree.AnditsangasadlittleSong.OoneverheardsuchasadlittleSong!”
“Canyousingit,Bruno?”Iasked.
“Iss,Ican,”Brunoreadilyreplied.“AndIsa’n’t.ItwouldmakeSylviecry—”
“Itwouldn’t!’,Sylvieinterruptedingreatindignation.“AndIdon’tbelievetheGoatsangitatall!”
“Itdid,though!”saidBruno.“Itsingeditrightfroo.Isaweditsingingwithitslongbeard—”
“Itcouldn’tsingwithitsbeard,”Isaid,hopingtopuzzlethelittlefellow:“abeardisn’tavoice.”
“Wellthen,oocouldn’twalkwithSylvie!”Brunocriedtriumphantly.“Sylvieisn’tafoot!”
IthoughtIhadbetterfollowSylvie’sexample,andbesilentforawhile.Brunowastoosharpforus.
“AndwhenithadsingedalltheSong,itranaway—fortogetalongtolookfortheMan,ooknow.
AndtheCrocodilegotalongafterit—fortobiteit,ooknow.
AndtheMousegotalongaftertheCrocodile.”
“Wasn’ttheCrocodilerunning?”Sylvieenquired.Sheappealedtome.“Crocodilesdorun,don’tthey?”
Isuggested“crawling”astheproperword.
“Hewasn’trunning,”saidBruno,“andhewasn’tcrawling.Hewentstrugglingalonglikeaportmanteau.Andheheldhischineversohighintheair—”
“Whatdidhedothatfor?”saidSylvie.
“’causehehadn’tgotatoofache!”saidBruno.
“Ca’n’toomakeoutnuffinwizoutI‘splainit?
Why,ifhe’dhadatoofache,acoursehe’dhaveheldhisheaddown—likethis—andhe’dhaveputalotofwarmblanketsroundit!”
“Ifhe’dhadanyblankets,”Sylvieargued.
“Coursehehadblankets!”retortedherbrother.“DoosoothinkCrocodilesgoeswalkswizoutblankets?Andhefrownedwithhiseyebrows.AndtheGoatwaswellyflightenedathiseyebrows!”
“I’dneverbeafraidofeyebrows?”exclaimedSylvie.
“Ishouldthinkoowould,though,ifthey’dgotaCrocodilefastenedtothem,likethesehad!AndsotheManjamp,andhejamp,andatlasthegotrightoutofthehole.”
Sylviegaveanotherlittlegasp:thisrapiddodgingaboutamongthecharactersoftheStoryhadtakenawayherbreath.
“AndherunnedawayfortolookfortheGoat,ooknow.AndheheardtheLiongrunting—”
“Lionsdon’tgrunt,”saidSylvie.
“Thisonedid,”saidBruno.“Anditsmouthwerelikealargecupboard.Andithadplentyofroominitsmouth.
AndtheLionrunnedaftertheManfortoeathim,ooknow.AndtheMouserunnedaftertheLion.”
“ButtheMousewasrunningaftertheCrocodile,”Isaid:“hecouldn’trunafterboth!”
Brunosighedoverthedensityofhisaudience,butexplainedverypatiently.
“Hedidrunnedafterbofe:‘causetheywentthesameway!
AndfirsthecaughttheCrocodile,andthenhedidn’tcatchtheLion.
Andwhenhe’dcaughttheCrocodile,whatdoosoothinkhedid—’causehe’dgotpincersinhispocket?”
“Ica’n’tguess,”saidSylvie.
“Nobodycouldn’tguessit!”Brunocriedinhighglee.“Why,hewrenchedoutthatCrocodile’stoof!”
“Whichtooth?”Iventuredtoask.
ButBrunowasnottobepuzzled.“ThetoofheweregoingtobitetheGoatwith,acourse!”
“Hecouldn’tbesureaboutthat,”Iargued,“unlesshewrenchedoutallitsteeth.”
Brunolaughedmerrily,andhalfsang,asheswunghimselfbackwardsandforwards,“Hedid—wrenched—out—allitsteef!”
“WhydidtheCrocodilewaittohavethemwrenchedout?”saidSylvie.
“Ithadtowait,”saidBruno.
Iventuredonanotherquestion.“ButwhatbecameoftheManwhosaid‘YoumaywaitheretillIcomeback’?”
“Hedidn’tsay‘Oomay,’”Brunoexplained.“Hesaid,‘Oowill.’
JustlikeSylviesaystome‘Oowilldooorlessonstilltwelveo’clock.’
Oh,Iwiss,”headdedwithalittlesigh,“IwissSylviewouldsay‘Oomaydooorlessons’!”
Thiswasadangeroussubjectfordiscussion,Sylvieseemedtothink.ShereturnedtotheStory.“ButwhatbecameoftheMan?”
“Well,theLionspringedathim.Butitcamesoslow,itwerethreeweeksintheair—”
“DidtheManwaitforitallthattime?”Isaid.
“Coursehedidn’t!”Brunoreplied,glidinghead-firstdownthestemofthefox-glove,fortheStorywasevidentlyclosetoitsend.
“Hesoldhishouse,andhepackeduphisthings,whiletheLionwerecoming.
Andhewentandhelivedinanothertown.SotheLionatethewrongman.”
ThiswasevidentlytheMoral:soSylviemadeherfinalproclamationtotheFrogs.“TheStory’sfinished!Andwhateveristobelearnedfromit,”sheadded,asidetome,“I’msureIdon’tknow!”
Ididnotfeelquiteclearaboutitmyself,somadenosuggestion:buttheFrogsseemedquitecontent,MoralornoMoral,andmerelyraisedahuskychorusof“Off!Off!”astheyhoppedaway.
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