English
LadyMuriel’ssmileofwelcomecouldnotquiteconcealthelookofsurprisewithwhichsheregardedmynewcompanions.
Ipresentedthemindueform.ThisisSylvie,LadyMuriel.AndthisisBruno.
Anysurname?sheenquired,hereyestwinklingwithfun.
No,Isaidgravely.Nosurname.
Shelaughed,evidentlythinkingIsaiditinfun;andstoopedtokissthechildrenasalutetowhichBrunosubmittedwithreluctance:Sylviereturneditwithinterest.
WhilesheandArthur(whohadarrivedbeforeme)suppliedthechildrenwithteaandcake,ItriedtoengagetheEarlinconversation:buthewasrestlessanddistrait,andwemadelittleprogress.
Atlast,byasuddenquestion,hebetrayedthecauseofhisdisquiet.
Wouldyouletmelookatthoseflowersyouhaveinyourhand?
Willingly!Isaid,handinghimthebouquet.
Botanywas,Iknew,afavoritestudyofhis:andtheseflowersweretomesoentirelynewandmysterious,thatIwasreallycurioustoseewhatabotanistwouldsayofthem.
Theydidnotdiminishhisdisquiet.Onthecontrary,hebecameeverymomentmoreexcitedasheturnedthemover.TheseareallfromCentralIndia!
hesaid,layingasidepartofthebouquet.
Theyarerare,eventhere:andIhaveneverseentheminanyotherpartoftheworld.
ThesetwoareMexicanThisone(Herosehastily,andcarriedittothewindow,toexamineitinabetterlight,theflushofexcitementmountingtohisveryforehead)is.
IamnearlysurebutIhaveabookofIndianBotanyhereHetookavolumefromthebook-shelves,andturnedtheleaveswithtremblingfingers.Yes!Compareitwiththispicture!Itistheexactduplicate!
ThisisthefloweroftheUpas-tree,whichusuallygrowsonlyinthedepthsofforests;andtheflowerfadessoquicklyafterbeingplucked,thatitisscarcelypossibletokeepitsformorcolorevensofarastheoutskirtsoftheforest!Yetthisisinfullbloom!Wheredidyougettheseflowers?headdedwithbreathlesseagerness.
IglancedatSylvie,who,gravelyandsilently,laidherfingeronherlips,thenbeckonedtoBrunotofollowher,andranoutintothegarden;andIfoundmyselfinthepositionofadefendantwhosetwomostimportantwitnesseshavebeensuddenlytakenaway.Letmegiveyoutheflowers!
Istammeredoutatlast,quiteatmywit’send’astohowtogetoutofthedifficulty.
YouknowmuchmoreaboutthemthanIdo!
Iacceptthemmostgratefully!ButyouhavenotyettoldmetheEarlwasbeginning,whenwewereinterrupted,tomygreatrelief,bythearrivalofEricLindon.
ToArthur,however,thenew-comerwas,Isawclearly,anythingbutwelcome.
Hisfacecloudedover:hedrewalittlebackfromthecircle,andtooknofurtherpartintheconversation,whichwaswhollymaintained,forsomeminutes,byLadyMurielandherlivelycousin,whowerediscussingsomenewmusicthathadjustarrivedfromLondon.
Dojusttrythisone!hepleaded.Themusiclookseasytosingatsight,andthesong’squiteappropriatetotheoccasion.
ThenIsupposeit’s
Fiveo’clocktea!
Evertothee
FaithfulI’llbe,
Fiveo’clocktea!”’
laughedLadyMuriel,asshesatdowntothepiano,andlightlystruckafewrandomchords.
Notquite:andyetitisakindofevertotheefaithfulI’llbe!’It’sapairofhaplesslovers:hecrossesthebrinydeep:andsheisleftlamenting.
Thatisindeedappropriate!sherepliedmockingly,asheplacedthesongbeforeher.
AndamItodothelamenting?Andwhofor,ifyouplease?
Sheplayedtheaironceortwicethrough,firstinquick,andfinallyinslow,time;andthengaveusthewholesongwithasmuchgracefuleaseasifshehadbeenfamiliarwithitallherlife:
Hesteptsolightlytotheland,
Allinhismanlypride:
Hekissedhercheek,hepressedherhand,
Yetstillsheglancedaside.
Toogayheseems,’shedarklydreams,
Toogallantandtoogay
Tothinkofmepoorsimpleme
Whenheisfaraway!’
IbringmyLovethisgoodlypearl
Acrosstheseas,’hesaid:
Agemtodeckthedearestgirl
Thateversailorwed!’
Sheclaspsittight’hereyesarebright:
Herthrobbingheartwouldsay
Hethoughtofmehethoughtofme
Whenhewasfaraway!’
TheshiphassailedintotheWest:
Herocean-birdisflown:
Adulldeadpainisinherbreast,
Andsheisweakandlone:
Yetthere’sasmileuponherface,
Asmilethatseemstosay
He’llthinkofmehe’llthinkofme
Whenheisfaraway!
Thoughwaterswidebetweenusglide,
Ourlivesarewarmandnear:
Nodistancepartstwofaithfulhearts
Twoheartsthatlovesodear:
AndIwilltrustmysailor-lad,
Foreverandaday,
Tothinkofmetothinkofme
Whenheisfaraway!’
Thelookofdispleasure,whichhadbeguntocomeoverArthur’sfacewhentheyoungCaptainspokeofLovesolightly,fadedawayasthesongproceeded,andhelistenedwithevidentdelight.
ButhisfacedarkenedagainwhenEricdemurelyremarkedDon’tyouthinkmysoldier-lad’wouldhavefittedthetunejustaswell!
Why,soitwould!LadyMurielgailyretorted.Soldiers,sailors,tinkers,tailors,whatalotofwordswouldfitin!Ithinkmytinker-ladsoundsbest.Don’tyou?
Tosparemyfriendfurtherpain,Irosetogo,justastheEarlwasbeginningtorepeathisparticularlyembarrassingquestionabouttheflowers.
Youhavenotyet—’
Yes,I’vehadsometea,thankyou!Ihastilyinterruptedhim.Andnowwereallymustbegoing.Goodevening,LadyMuriel!
Andwemadeouradieux,andescaped,whiletheEarlwasstillabsorbedinexaminingthemysteriousbouquet.
LadyMurielaccompaniedustothedoor.Youcouldn’thavegivenmyfatheramoreacceptablepresent!shesaid,warmly.HeissopassionatelyfondofBotany.
I’mafraidIknownothingofthetheoryofit,butIkeephisHortusSiccusinorder.
Imustgetsomesheetsofblotting-paper,anddrythesenewtreasuresforhimbeforetheyfade.
Thatwon’tbenogoodatall!saidBruno,whowaswaitingforusinthegarden.
Whywon’tit?saidI.YouknowIhadtogivetheflowers,tostopquestions?
Yes,itca’n’tbehelped,saidSylvie:buttheywillbesorrywhentheyfindthemgone!
Buthowwilltheygo?
Well,Idon’tknowhow.Buttheywillgo.ThenosegaywasonlyaPhlizz,youknow.Brunomadeitup.
Theselastwordswereinawhisper,assheevidentlydidnotwishArthurtohear.
Butofthisthereseemedtobelittlerisk:hehardlyseemedtonoticethechildren,butpacedon,silentandabstracted;andwhen,attheentrancetothewood,theybidusahastyfarewellandranoff,heseemedtowakeoutofaday-dream.
Thebouquetvanished,asSylviehadpredicted;andwhen,adayortwoafterwards,ArthurandIoncemorevisitedtheHall,wefoundtheEarlandhisdaughter,withtheoldhousekeeper,outinthegarden,examiningthefasteningsofthedrawing-roomwindow.
WeareholdinganInquest,LadyMurielsaid,advancingtomeetus:andweadmityou,asAccessoriesbeforetheFact,totellusallyouknowaboutthoseflowers.
TheAccessoriesbeforetheFactdeclinetoansweranyquestions,Igravelyreplied.Andtheyreservetheirdefense.
Wellthen,turnQueen’sEvidence,please!
Theflowershavedisappearedinthenight,shewenton,turningtoArthur,andwearequitesurenooneinthehousehasmeddledwiththem.
Somebodymusthaveenteredbythewindow
Butthefasteningshavenotbeentamperedwith,saidtheEarl.
Itmusthavebeenwhileyouweredining,myLady,saidthehousekeeper.
Thatwasit,saidtheEarl.Thethiefmusthaveseenyoubringtheflowers,turningtome,andhavenoticedthatyoudidnottakethemaway.
Andhemusthaveknowntheirgreatvaluetheyaresimplypriceless!heexclaimed,insuddenexcitement.
Andyounevertoldushowyougotthem!saidLadyMuriel.
Someday,Istammered,Imaybefreetotellyou.Justnow,wouldyouexcuseme?
TheEarllookeddisappointed,butkindlysaidVerywell,wewillasknoquestions.
ButweconsideryouaverybadQueen’sEvidence,LadyMurieladdedplayfully,asweenteredthearbor.
Wepronounceyoutobeanaccomplice:andwesentenceyoutosolitaryconfinement,andtobefedonbreadandbutter.Doyoutakesugar?
Itisdisquieting,certainly,sheresumed,whenallcreature-comforts’hadbeendulysupplied,tofindthatthehousehasbeenenteredbyathiefinthisout-of-the-wayplace.
Ifonlytheflowershadbeeneatables,onemighthavesuspectedathiefofquiteanothershape
Youmeanthatuniversalexplanationforallmysteriousdisappearances,thecatdidit’?saidArthur.
Yes,shereplied.Whataconvenientthingitwouldbeifallthieveshadthesameshape!It’ssoconfusingtohavesomeofthemquadrupedsandothersbipeds!
Ithasoccurredtome,saidArthur,asacuriousprobleminTeleologytheScienceofFinalCauses,headded,inanswertoanenquiringlookfromLadyMuriel.
AndaFinalCauseis?
Well,supposewesaythelastofaseriesofconnectedeventseachoftheseriesbeingthecauseofthenextforwhosesakethefirsteventtakesplace.
Butthelasteventispracticallyaneffectofthefirst,isn’tit?Andyetyoucallitacauseofit!
Arthurponderedamoment.Thewordsareratherconfusing,Igrantyou,hesaid.Willthisdo?
Thelasteventisaneffectofthefirst:butthenecessityforthateventisacauseofthenecessityforthefirst.
Thatseemsclearenough,saidLadyMuriel.Nowletushavetheproblem.
It’smerelythis.Whatobjectcanweimagineinthearrangementbywhicheachdifferentsize(roughlyspeaking)oflivingcreatureshasitsspecialshape?
Forinstance,thehumanracehasonekindofshapebipeds.
Anotherset,rangingfromtheliontothemouse,arequadrupeds.
Godownasteportwofurther,andyoucometoinsectswithsixlegshexapodsabeautifulname,isitnot?
Butbeauty,inoursenseoftheword,seemstodiminishaswegodown:thecreaturebecomesmoreIwon’tsayugly’ofanyofGod’screaturesmoreuncouth.
And,whenwetakethemicroscope,andgoafewstepslowerstill,wecomeuponanimalculae,terriblyuncouth,andwithaterriblenumberoflegs!
Theotheralternative,saidtheEarl,wouldbeadiminuendoseriesofrepetitionsofthesametype.
Nevermindthemonotonyofit:let’sseehowitwouldworkinotherways.
Beginwiththeraceofmen,andthecreaturestheyrequire:letussayhorses,cattle,sheep,anddogswedon’texactlyrequirefrogsandspiders,dowe,Muriel?
LadyMurielshudderedperceptibly:itwasevidentlyapainfulsubject.Wecandispensewiththem,shesaidgravely.
Well,thenwe’llhaveasecondraceofmen,half-a-yardhigh
whowouldhaveonesourceofexquisiteenjoyment,notpossessedbyordinarymen!Arthurinterrupted.
Whatsource?saidtheEarl.
Why,thegrandeurofscenery!Surelythegrandeurofamountain,tome,dependsonitssize,relativetome?
Doubletheheightofthemountain,andofcourseit’stwiceasgrand.
Halvemyheight,andyouproducethesameeffect.
Happy,happy,happySmall!LadyMurielmurmuredrapturously.NonebuttheShort,nonebuttheShort,nonebuttheShortenjoytheTall!
Butletmegoon,saidtheEarl.We’llhaveathirdraceofmen,fiveincheshigh;afourthrace,aninchhigh
Theycouldn’teatcommonbeefandmutton,I’msure!LadyMurielinterrupted.
True,mychild,Iwasforgetting.Eachsetmusthaveitsowncattleandsheep.
Anditsownvegetation,Iadded.Whatcouldacow,aninchhigh,dowithgrassthatwavedfaraboveitshead?
Thatistrue.Wemusthaveapasturewithinapasture,sotospeak.
Thecommongrasswouldserveourinch-highcowsasagreenforestofpalms,whileroundtherootofeachtallstemwouldstretchatinycarpetofmicroscopicgrass.
Yes,Ithinkourschemewillworkfairlywell.
Anditwouldbeveryinteresting,comingintocontactwiththeracesbelowus.
Whatsweetlittlethingstheinch-highbull-dogswouldbe!
IdoubtifevenMurielwouldrunawayfromoneofthem!
Don’tyouthinkweoughttohaveacrescendoseries,aswell?saidLadyMuriel.Onlyfancybeingahundredyardshigh!
Onecoulduseanelephantasapaper-weight,andacrocodileasapairofscissors!
Andwouldyouhaveracesofdifferentsizescommunicatewithoneanother?Ienquired.Wouldtheymakewarononeanother,forinstance,orenterintotreaties?
Warwemustexclude,Ithink.Whenyoucouldcrushawholenationwithoneblowofyourfist,youcouldn’tconductwaronequalterms.
Butanything,involvingacollisionofmindsonly,wouldbepossibleinouridealworldforofcoursewemustallowmentalpowerstoall,irrespectiveofsize.
Perhapsthefairestrulewouldbethat,thesmallertherace,thegreatershouldbeitsintellectualdevelopment!
Doyoumeantosay,saidLadyMuriel,thatthesemanikinsofaninchhigharetoarguewithme?
Surely,surely!saidtheEarl.Anargumentdoesn’tdependforitslogicalforceonthesizeofthecreaturethatuttersit!
Shetossedherheadindignantly.Iwouldnotarguewithanymanlessthansixincheshigh!shecried.I’dmakehimwork!
Whatat?saidArthur,listeningtoallthisnonsensewithanamusedsmile.
Embroidery!shereadilyreplied.Whatlovelyembroiderytheywoulddo!
Yet,iftheydiditwrong,Isaid,youcouldn’targuethequestion.Idon’tknowwhy:butIagreethatitcouldn’tbedone.
Thereasonis,saidLadyMuriel,onecouldn’tsacrificeone’sdignitysofar.
Ofcourseonecouldn’t!echoedArthur.Anymorethanonecouldarguewithapotato.Itwouldbealtogetherexcusetheancientpuninfradig.!
Idoubtit,saidI.Evenapundoesn’tquiteconvinceme.
Well,ifthatisnotthereason,saidLadyMuriel,whatreasonwouldyougive?
Itriedhardtounderstandthemeaningofthisquestion:butthepersistenthummingofthebeesconfusedme,andtherewasadrowsinessintheairthatmadeeverythoughtstopandgotosleepbeforeithadgotwellthoughtout:soallIcouldsaywasThatmustdependontheweightofthepotato.
IfelttheremarkwasnotsosensibleasIshouldhavelikedittobe.
ButLadyMurielseemedtotakeitquiteasamatterofcourse.
Inthatcaseshebegan,butsuddenlystarted,andturnedawaytolisten.Don’tyouhearhim?shesaid.He’scrying.Wemustgotohim,somehow.
AndIsaidtomyselfThat’sverystrange.
IquitethoughtitwasLadyMurieltalkingtome.Why,it’sSylvieallthewhile!
AndImadeanothergreatefforttosaysomethingthatshouldhavesomemeaninginit.Isitaboutthepotato?
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