English
IwasfollowingtheVice-Warden,but,onsecondthoughts,wentaftermyLady,beingcurioustoseehowshewouldmanagetokeepthechildrenoutofsight.
IfoundherholdingSylvie’shand,andwithherotherhandstrokingBruno’shairinamosttenderandmotherlyfashion:bothchildrenwerelookingbewilderedandhalf-frightened.
“Myowndarlings,”shewassaying,“I’vebeenplanningalittletreatforyou!
TheProfessorshalltakeyoualongwalkintothewoodsthisbeautifulevening:andyoushalltakeabasketoffoodwithyou,andhavealittlepicnicdownbytheriver!”
Brunojumped,andclappedhishands.“Thatarenice!”hecried.“Aren’tit,Sylvie?”
Sylvie,whohadn’tquitelosthersurprisedlook,putuphermouthforakiss.“Thankyouverymuch,”shesaidearnestly.
MyLadyturnedherheadawaytoconcealthebroadgrinoftriumphthatspreadoverhervastface,likearippleonalake.“Littlesimpletons!”
shemutteredtoherself,asshemarcheduptothehouse.Ifollowedherin.
“Quiteso,yourExcellency,”theBaronwassayingasweenteredtheLibrary.“Alltheinfantrywereundermycommand.”Heturned,andwasdulypresentedtomyLady.
“Amilitaryhero?”saidmyLady.Thefatlittlemansimpered.“Well,yes,”hereplied,modestlycastingdownhiseyes.“Myancestorswereallfamousformilitarygenius.”
MyLadysmiledgraciously.“Itoftenrunsinfamilies,”sheremarked:“justasaloveforpastrydoes.”
TheBaronlookedslightlyoffended,andtheVice-Wardendiscreetlychangedthesubject.“Dinnerwillsoonbeready,”hesaid.“MayIhavethehonorofconductingyourAdipositytotheguest-chamber?”
“Certainly,certainly!”theBaroneagerlyassented.“Itwouldneverdotokeepdinnerwaiting!”AndhealmosttrottedoutoftheroomaftertheVice-Warden.
HewasbackagainsospeedilythattheVice-wardenhadbarelytimetoexplaintomyLadythatherremarkabout“aloveforpastry”was“unfortunate.
Youmighthaveseen,withhalfaneye,”headded,“thatthat’shisline.Militarygenius,indeed!Pooh!”
“Dinnerreadyyet?”theBaronenquired,ashehurriedintotheroom.
“Willbeinafewminutes,”theVice-Wardenreplied.“Meanwhile,let’stakeaturninthegarden.Youweretellingme,”hecontinued,
asthetrioleftthehouse,“somethingaboutagreatbattleinwhichyouhadthecommandoftheinfantry—”
“True,”saidtheBaron.“Theenemy,asIwassaying,faroutnumberedus:butImarchedmymenrightintothemiddleof—what’sthat?”
theMilitaryHeroexclaimedinagitatedtones,drawingbackbehindtheVice-Warden,asastrangecreaturerushedwildlyuponthem,brandishingaspade.
“It’sonlytheGardener!”theVice-Wardenrepliedinanencouragingtone.“Quiteharmless,Iassureyou.Hark,he’ssinging!Itshisfavoriteamusement.”
Andoncemorethoseshrilldiscordanttonesrangout:—
“HethoughthesawaBanker’sClerk
Descendingfromthebus:
Helookedagain,andfounditwas
AHippopotamus:
‘Ifthisshouldstaytodine,’hesaid,
‘Therewon’tbemutchforus!’”
Throwingawaythespade,hebrokeintoafranticjig,snappinghisfingers,andrepeating,againandagain,
“Therewon’tbemuchforus!
Therewon’tbemuchforus!”
OncemoretheBaronlookedslightlyoffended,buttheVice-Wardenhastilyexplainedthatthesonghadnoallusiontohim,andinfacthadnomeaningatall.
“Youdidn’tmeananythingbyit,nowdidyou?”
HeappealedtotheGardener,whohadfinishedhissong,andstood,balancinghimselfononeleg,andlookingatthem,withhismouthopen.
“Inevermeansnothing,”saidtheGardener:andUggugluckilycameupatthemoment,andgavetheconversationanewturn.
“Allowmetopresentmyson,”saidtheVice-warden;adding,inawhisper,“oneofthebestandcleverestboysthateverlived!
I’llcontriveforyoutoseesomeofhiscleverness.
Heknowseverythingthatotherboysdon’tknow;andinarchery,infishing,inpainting,andinmusic,hisskillis—butyoushalljudgeforyourself.Youseethattargetoverthere?Heshallshootanarrowatit.
Dearboy,”hewentonaloud,“hisAdipositywouldliketoseeyoushoot.BringhisHighness’bowandarrows!”
Ugguglookedverysulkyashereceivedthebowandarrow,andpreparedtoshoot.Justasthearrowleftthebow,theVice-WardentrodheavilyonthetoeoftheBaron,whoyelledwiththepain.
“Tenthousandpardons!”heexclaimed.“Isteppedbackinmyexcitement.See!Itisabull’s-eye!”
TheBarongazedinastonishment.“Heheldthebowsoawkwardly,itseemedimpossible!”hemuttered.Buttherewasnoroomfordoubt:therewasthearrow,rightinthecentreofthebull’s-eye!
“Thelakeiscloseby,”continuedtheVice-warden.“BringhisHighness’fishing-rod!”AndUggugmostunwillinglyheldtherod,anddangledtheflyoverthewater.
“Abeetleonyourarm!”criedmyLady,pinchingthepoorBaron’sarmworsethaniftenlobstershadseizeditatonce.
“Thatkindispoisonous,”sheexplained.“Butwhatapity!Youmissedseeingthefishpulledout!”
Anenormousdeadcod-fishwaslyingonthebank,withthehookinitsmouth.
“Ihadalwaysfancied,”theBaronfaltered,“thatcodweresalt-waterfish?”
“Notinthiscountry,”saidtheVice-Warden.“Shallwegoin?Askmysonsomequestiononthewayanysubjectyoulike!”Andthesulkyboywasviolentlyshovedforwards,towalkattheBaron’sside.
“CouldyourHighnesstellme,”theBaroncautiouslybegan,“howmuchseventimesninewouldcometo?”
“Turntotheleft!”criedtheVice-Warden,hastilysteppingforwardstoshowtheway—sohastily,thatheranagainsthisunfortunateguest,whofellheavilyonhisface.
“Sosorry!”myLadyexclaimed,assheandherhusbandhelpedhimtohisfeetagain.“Mysonwasintheactofsaying‘sixty-three’asyoufell!”
TheBaronsaidnothing:hewascoveredwithdust,andseemedmuchhurt,bothinbodyandmind.
However,whentheyhadgothimintothehouse,andgivenhimagoodbrushing,matterslookedalittlebetter.
Dinnerwasservedinduecourse,andeveryfreshdishseemedtoincreasethegood-humouroftheBaron:butallefforts,togethimtoexpresshisopinionastoUggug’scleverness,wereinvain,untilthatinterestingyouthhadlefttheroom,andwasseenfromtheopenwindow,prowlingaboutthelawnwithalittlebasket,whichhewasfillingwithfrogs.
“SofondofNaturalHistoryasheis,dearboy!”saidthedotingmother.“Nowdotellus,Baron,whatyouthinkofhim!”
“Tobeperfectlycandid,saidthecautiousBaron,“Iwouldlikealittlemoreevidence.Ithinkyoumentionedhisskillin—”
“Music?”saidtheVice-Warden.“Why,he’ssimplyaprodigy!Youshallhearhimplaythepiano?Andhewalkedtothewindow.“Ug—Imeanmyboy!
Comeinforaminute,andbringthemusic-masterwithyou!
Toturnoverthemusicforhim,”headdedasanexplanation.
Uggug,havingfilledhisbasketwithfrogs,hadnoobjectiontoobey,andsoonappearedintheroom,followedbyafierce-lookinglittleman,whoaskedtheVice-Warden“Votmusicvillyouhaf?”
“TheSonatathatHisHighnessplayssocharmingly,”saidtheVice-Warden.“HisHighnesshafnot—”themusic-masterbegan,butwassharplystoppedbytheVice-warden.
“Silence,Sir!GoandturnoverthemusicforhisHighness.
Mydear,”(totheWardeness)“willyoushowhimwhattodo?
Andmeanwhile,Baron,I’lljustshowyouamostinterestingmapwehave—ofOutland,andFairyland,andthatsortofthing.”
BythetimemyLadyhadreturned,fromexplainingthingstothemusic-master,themaphadbeenhungup,andtheBaronwasalreadymuchbewilderedbytheVice-Warden’shabitofpointingtooneplacewhileheshoutedoutthenameofanother.
MyLadyjoiningin,pointingoutotherplaces,andshoutingothernames,onlymademattersworse;andatlasttheBaron,indespair,tooktopointingoutplacesforhimself,andfeeblyasked“IsthatgreatyellowsplotchFairyland?”
“Yes,that’sFairyland,”saidtheVice-warden:“andyoumightaswellgivehimahint,”hemutteredtomyLady,“aboutgoingbackto-morrow.Heeatslikeashark!
Itwouldhardlydoformetomentionit.”
Hiswifecaughttheidea,andatoncebegangivinghintsofthemostsubtleanddelicatekind.
“JustseewhatashortwayitisbacktoFairyland!
Why,ifyoustartedto-morrowmorning,you’dgetthereinverylittlemorethanaweek!”
TheBaronlookedincredulous.“Ittookmeafullmonthtocome,”hesaid.
“Butit’seversomuchshorter,goingback,youknow!’
TheBaronlookedappealinglytotheVice-warden,whochimedinreadily.“Youcangobackfivetimes,inthetimeittookyoutocomehereonce—ifyoustartto-morrowmorning!”
AllthistimetheSonatawaspealingthroughtheroom.
TheBaroncouldnothelpadmittingtohimselfthatitwasbeingmagnificentlyplayed:buthetriedinvaintogetaglimpseoftheyouthfulperformer.
Everytimehehadnearlysucceededincatchingsightofhim,eithertheVice-Wardenorhiswifewassuretogetintheway,pointingoutsomenewplaceonthemap,anddeafeninghimwithsomenewname.
Hegaveinatlast,wishedahastygood-night,andlefttheroom,whilehishostandhostessinterchangedlooksoftriumph.
“Deftlydone!”criedtheVice-Warden.“Craftilycontrived!
Butwhatmeansallthattrampingonthestairs?”
Hehalf-openedthedoor,lookedout,andaddedinatoneofdismay,“TheBaron’sboxesarebeingcarrieddown!”
“Andwhatmeansallthatrumblingofwheels?”criedmyLady.Shepeepedthroughthewindowcurtains.“TheBaron’scarriagehascomeround!”shegroaned.
Atthismomentthedooropened:afat,furiousfacelookedin:avoice,hoarsewithpassion,thunderedoutthewords“Myroomisfulloffrogs—Ileaveyou!”:andthedoorclosedagain.
AndstillthenobleSonatawentpealingthroughtheroom:butitwasArthur’smasterlytouchthatrousedtheechoes,andthrilledmyverysoulwiththetendermusicoftheimmortal‘SonataPathetique’:anditwasnottillthelastnotehaddiedawaythatthetiredbuthappytravelercouldbringhimselftoutterthewords“good-night!”andtoseekhismuch-neededpillow.
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