English
TheWardenenteredatthismoment:andclosebehindhimcametheLordChancellor,alittleflushedandoutofbreath,andadjustinghiswig,whichappearedtohavebeendraggedpartlyoffhishead.
“Butwhereismypreciouschild?”myLadyenquired,asthefourtooktheirseatsatthesmallside-tabledevotedtoledgersandbundlesandbills.
“HelefttheroomafewminutesagowiththeLordChancellor,”theSub-Wardenbrieflyexplained.
“Ah!”saidmyLady,graciouslysmilingonthathighofficial.
“YourLordshiphasaverytakingwaywithchildren!
IdoubtifanyonecouldgaintheearofmydarlingUggugsoquicklyasyoucan!”
Foranentirelystupidwoman,myLady’sremarkswerecuriouslyfullofmeaning,ofwhichsheherselfwaswhollyunconscious.
TheChancellorbowed,butwithaveryuneasyair.“IthinktheWardenwasabouttospeak,”heremarked,evidentlyanxioustochangethesubject.
ButmyLadywouldnotbechecked.“Heisacleverboy,”shecontinuedwithenthusiasm,“butheneedsamanlikeyourLordshiptodrawhimout!”
TheChancellorbithislip,andwassilent.
Heevidentlyfearedthat,stupidasshelooked,sheunderstoodwhatshesaidthistime,andwashavingajokeathisexpense.
Hemighthavesparedhimselfallanxiety:whateveraccidentalmeaningherwordsmighthave,sheherselfnevermeantanythingatall.
“Itisallsettled!”theWardenannounced,wastingnotimeoverpreliminaries.
“TheSub-Wardenshipisabolished,andmybrotherisappointedtoactasVice-WardenwheneverIamabsent.
So,asIamgoingabroadforawhile,hewillenteronhisnewdutiesatonce.”
“AndtherewillreallybeaViceafterall?”myLadyenquired.
“Ihopeso!”theWardensmilinglyreplied.
MyLadylookedmuchpleased,andtriedtoclapherhands:butyoumightaswellhaveknockedtwofeather-bedstogether,foranynoiseitmade.
“WhenmyhusbandisVice,”shesaid,“itwillbethesameasifwehadahundredVices!”
“Hear,hear!”criedtheSub-Warden.
“Youseemtothinkitveryremarkable,”myLadyremarkedwithsomeseverity,“thatyourwifeshouldspeakthetruth!”
“No,notremarkableatall!”herhusbandanxiouslyexplained.“Nothingisremarkablethatyousay,sweetone!”
MyLadysmiledapprovalofthesentiment,andwenton.“AndamIVice-Wardeness?”
“Ifyouchoosetousethattitle,”saidtheWarden:“but‘YourExcellency’willbetheproperstyleofaddress.
AndItrustthatboth‘HisExcellency’and‘HerExcellency’willobservetheAgreementIhavedrawnup.
TheprovisionIammostanxiousaboutisthis.”
Heunrolledalargeparchmentscroll,andreadaloudthewords“‘item,thatwewillbekindtothepoor.’
TheChancellorwordeditforme,”headded,glancingatthatgreatFunctionary.
“Isuppose,now,thatword‘item’hassomedeeplegalmeaning?”
“Undoubtedly!”repliedtheChancellor,asarticulatelyashecouldwithapenbetweenhislips.
Hewasnervouslyrollingandunrollingseveralotherscrolls,andmakingroomamongthemfortheonetheWardenhadjusthandedtohim.
“Thesearemerelytheroughcopies,”heexplained:“and,assoonasIhaveputinthefinalcorrections—”makingagreatcommotionamongthedifferentparchments,“—asemi-colonortwothatIhaveaccidentallyomitted—”herehedartedabout,peninhand,fromonepartofthescrolltoanother,spreadingsheetsofblotting-paperoverhiscorrections,“allwillbereadyforsigning.”
“Shoulditnotbereadout,first?”myLadyenquired.
“Noneed,noneed!”theSub-WardenandtheChancellorexclaimedatthesamemoment,withfeverisheagerness.
“Noneedatall,”theWardengentlyassented.
“YourhusbandandIhavegonethroughittogether.
ItprovidesthatheshallexercisethefullauthorityofWarden,andshallhavethedisposaloftheannualrevenueattachedtotheoffice,untilmyreturn,or,failingthat,untilBrunocomesofage:andthatheshallthenhandover,tomyselfortoBrunoasthecasemaybe,theWardenship,theunspentrevenue,andthecontentsoftheTreasury,whicharetobepreserved,intact,underhisguardianship.”
AllthistimetheSub-Wardenwasbusy,withtheChancellor’shelp,shiftingthepapersfromsidetoside,andpointingouttotheWardentheplacewherehewastosign.
Hethensignedithimself,andmyLadyandtheChancelloraddedtheirnamesaswitnesses.
“Shortpartingsarebest,”saidtheWarden.“Allisreadyformyjourney.
Mychildrenarewaitingbelowtoseemeoff”HegravelykissedmyLady,shookhandswithhisbrotherandtheChancellor,andlefttheroom.
ThethreewaitedinsilencetillthesoundofwheelsannouncedthattheWardenwasoutofhearing:then,tomysurprise,theybrokeintopealsofuncontrollablelaughter.
“Whatagame,oh,whatagame!”criedtheChancellor.
AndheandtheVice-Wardenjoinedhands,andskippedwildlyabouttheroom.
MyLadywastoodignifiedtoskip,butshelaughedliketheneighingofahorse,andwavedherhandkerchiefaboveherhead:itwascleartoherverylimitedunderstandingthatsomethingverycleverhadbeendone,butwhatitwasshehadyettolearn.
“YousaidIshouldhearallaboutitwhentheWardenhadgone,”sheremarked,assoonasshecouldmakeherselfheard.
“Andsoyoushall,Tabby!”herhusbandgraciouslyreplied,asheremovedtheblotting-paper,andshowedthetwoparchmentslyingsidebyside.
“Thisistheonehereadbutdidn’tsign:andthisistheonehesignedbutdidn’tread!
Youseeitwasallcoveredup,excepttheplaceforsigningthenames—”
“Yes,yes!”myLadyinterruptedeagerly,andbegancomparingthetwoAgreements.
“‘Item,thatheshallexercisetheauthorityofWarden,intheWarden’sabsence.’
Why,that’sbeenchangedinto‘shallbeabsolutegovernorforlife,withthetitleofEmperor,ifelectedtothatofficebythepeople.’What!AreyouEmperor,darling?”
“Notyet,dear,”theVice-Wardenreplied.“Itwon’tdotoletthispaperbeseen,justatpresent.Allingoodtime.”
MyLadynodded,andreadon.“‘Item,thatwewillbekindtothepoor.’Why,that’somittedaltogether!”
“Courseitis!”saidherhusband.“We’renotgoingtobotheraboutthewretches!”
“Good,”saidmyLady,withemphasis,andreadonagain.
“‘Item,thatthecontentsoftheTreasurybepreservedintact.’
Why,that’salteredinto‘shallbeattheabsolutedisposaloftheVice-Warden’!“Well,Sibby,thatwasaclevertrick!AlltheJewels,onlythink!MayIgoandputthemondirectly?”
“Well,notjustyet,Lovey,”herhusbanduneasilyreplied.
“Youseethepublicmindisn’tquiteripeforityet.Wemustfeelourway.
Ofcoursewe’llhavethecoach-and-fourout,atonce.
AndI’lltakethetitleofEmperor,assoonaswecansafelyholdanElection.
Butthey’llhardlystandourusingtheJewels,aslongastheyknowtheWarden’salive.Wemustspreadareportofhisdeath.AlittleConspiracy—”
“AConspiracy!”criedthedelightedlady,clappingherhands.“Ofallthings,IdolikeaConspiracy!It’ssointeresting!”
TheVice-WardenandtheChancellorinterchangedawinkortwo.“Letherconspiretoherheart’scontent!”thecunningChancellorwhispered.“It’lldonoharm!”
“AndwhenwilltheConspiracy—”
“Hist!”,herhusbandhastilyinterruptedher,asthedooropened,andSylvieandBrunocamein,withtheirarmstwinedlovinglyroundeachother—Brunosobbingconvulsively,withhisfacehiddenonhissister’sshoulder,andSylviemoregraveandquiet,butwithtearsstreamingdownhercheeks.
“Mustn’tcrylikethat!”theVice-Wardensaidsharply,butwithoutanyeffectontheweepingchildren.“Cheer‘emupabit!”hehintedtomyLady.
“Cake!”myLadymutteredtoherselfwithgreatdecision,crossingtheroomandopeningacupboard,fromwhichshepresentlyreturnedwithtwoslicesofplum-cake.“Eat,anddon’tcry!”
werehershortandsimpleorders:andthepoorchildrensatdownsidebyside,butseemedinnomoodforeating.
Forthesecondtimethedooropened—orratherwasburstopen,thistime,asUggugrushedviolentlyintotheroom,shouting“thatoldBeggarscomeagain!”
“He’snottohaveanyfood—”theVice-wardenwasbeginning,buttheChancellorinterruptedhim.“It’sallright,”hesaid,inalowvoice:“theservantshavetheirorders.”
“He’sjustunderhere,”saidUggug,whohadgonetothewindow,andwaslookingdownintothecourt-yard.
“Where,mydarling?”saidhisfondmother,flingingherarmsroundtheneckofthelittlemonster.
Allofus(exceptSylvieandBruno,whotooknonoticeofwhatwasgoingon)followedhertothewindow.
TheoldBeggarlookedupatuswithhungryeyes.“Onlyacrustofbread,yourHighness!”hepleaded.
Hewasafineoldman,butlookedsadlyillandworn.“AcrustofbreadiswhatIcrave!”herepeated.“Asinglecrust,andalittlewater!”
“Here’ssomewater,drinkthis!”
Uggugbellowed,emptyingajugofwateroverhishead.
“Welldone,myboy!”criedtheVice-Warden.
“That’sthewaytosettlesuchfolk!”
“Cleverboy!”,theWardenesschimedin.“Hasn’thegoodspirits?”
“Takeasticktohim!”shoutedtheVice-Warden,astheoldBeggarshookthewaterfromhisraggedcloak,andagaingazedmeeklyupwards.
“Takeared-hotpokertohim!”myLadyagainchimedin.
Possiblytherewasnored-hotpokerhandy:butsomestickswereforthcominginamoment,andthreateningfacessurroundedthepooroldwanderer,whowavedthembackwithquietdignity.
“Noneedtobreakmyoldbones,”hesaid.“Iamgoing.Notevenacrust!”
“Poor,pooroldman!”exclaimedalittlevoiceatmyside,halfchokedwithsobs.Brunowasatthewindow,tryingtothrowouthissliceofplum-cake,butSylvieheldhimback.
“Heshalthavemycake!”Brunocried,passionatelystrugglingoutofSylvie’sarms.
“Yes,yes,darling!”Sylviegentlypleaded.“Butdon’tthrowitout!He’sgoneaway,don’tyousee?Let’sgoafterhim.”
Andsheledhimoutoftheroom,unnoticedbytherestoftheparty,whowerewhollyabsorbedinwatchingtheoldBeggar.
TheConspiratorsreturnedtotheirseats,andcontinuedtheirconversationinanundertone,soasnottobeheardbyUggug,whowasstillstandingatthewindow.
“Bytheway,therewassomethingaboutBrunosucceedingtotheWardenship,”saidmyLady.“HowdoesthatstandinthenewAgreement?”
TheChancellorchuckled.“Justthesame,wordforword,”hesaid,“withoneexception,myLady.
Insteadof‘Bruno,’I’vetakenthelibertytoputin—”hedroppedhisvoicetoawhisper,“toputin‘Uggug,’youknow!”
“Uggug,indeed!”Iexclaimed,inaburstofindignationIcouldnolongercontrol.
Tobringouteventhatonewordseemedagiganticeffort:but,thecryonceuttered,alleffortceasedatonce:asuddengustsweptawaythewholescene,andIfoundmyselfsittingup,staringattheyoungladyintheoppositecornerofthecarriage,whohadnowthrownbackherveil,andwaslookingatmewithanexpressionofamusedsurprise.
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