English
—andthenallthepeoplecheeredagain,andoneman,whowasmoreexcitedthantherest,flunghishathighintotheair,andshouted(aswellasIcouldmakeout)“WhoroarfortheSub-Warden?”
Everybodyroared,butwhetheritwasfortheSub-Warden,ornot,didnotclearlyappear:somewereshouting“Bread!”andsome“Taxes!”
,butnooneseemedtoknowwhatitwastheyreallywanted.
AllthisIsawfromtheopenwindowoftheWarden’sbreakfast-saloon,lookingacrosstheshoulderoftheLordChancellor,whohadsprungtohisfeetthemomenttheshoutingbegan,almostasifhehadbeenexpectingit,andhadrushedtothewindowwhichcommandedthebestviewofthemarket-place.
“Whatcanitallmean?”hekeptrepeatingtohimself,as,withhishandsclaspedbehindhim,andhisgownfloatingintheair,hepacedrapidlyupanddowntheroom.
“Ineverheardsuchshoutingbefore—andatthistimeofthemorning,too!Andwithsuchunanimity!
Doesn’titstrikeyouasveryremarkable?”
Irepresented,modestly,thattomyearsitappearedthattheywereshoutingfordifferentthings,buttheChancellorwouldnotlistentomysuggestionforamoment.
“Theyallshoutthesamewords,Iassureyou!”
hesaid:then,leaningwelloutofthewindow,hewhisperedtoamanwhowasstandingcloseunderneath,“Keep’emtogether,ca’n’tyou?TheWardenwillbeheredirectly.Give’emthesignalforthemarchup!”
Allthiswasevidentlynotmeantformyears,butIcouldscarcelyhelphearingit,consideringthatmychinwasalmostontheChancellor’sshoulder.
The‘marchup’wasaverycurioussight:
astragglingprocessionofmen,marchingtwoandtwo,beganfromtheothersideofthemarket-place,andadvancedinanirregularzig-zagfashiontowardsthePalace,wildlytackingfromsidetoside,likeasailingvesselmakingwayagainstanunfavourablewindsothattheheadoftheprocessionwasoftenfurtherfromusattheendofonetackthanithadbeenattheendofthepreviousone.
Yetitwasevidentthatallwasbeingdoneunderorders,forInoticedthatalleyeswerefixedonthemanwhostoodjustunderthewindow,andtowhomtheChancellorwascontinuallywhispering.
Thismanheldhishatinonehandandalittlegreenflagintheother:wheneverhewavedtheflagtheprocessionadvancedalittlenearer,whenhedippedittheysidledalittlefartheroff,andwheneverhewavedhishattheyallraisedahoarsecheer.“Hoo-roah!”
theycried,carefullykeepingtimewiththehatasitbobbedupanddown.“Hoo-roah!Noo!Consti!Tooshun!Less!Bread!More!Taxes!”
“That’lldo,that’lldo!”theChancellorwhispered.
“Let‘emrestabittillIgiveyoutheword.He’snothereyet!”
Butatthismomentthegreatfolding-doorsofthesaloonwereflungopen,andheturnedwithaguiltystarttoreceiveHisHighExcellency.
HoweveritwasonlyBruno,andtheChancellorgavealittlegaspofrelievedanxiety.
“Morning!”saidthelittlefellow,addressingtheremark,inageneralsortofway,totheChancellorandthewaiters.“DoosooknowwhereSylvieis?I’slookingforSylvie!”
“She’swiththeWarden,Ibelieve,y’reince!”theChancellorrepliedwithalowbow.
Therewas,nodoubt,acertainamountofabsurdityinapplyingthistitle(which,asofcourseyouseewithoutmytellingyou,wasnothingbut‘yourRoyalHighness’condensedintoonesyllable)toasmallcreaturewhosefatherwasmerelytheWardenofOutland:still,largeexcusemustbemadeforamanwhohadpassedseveralyearsattheCourtofFairyland,andhadthereacquiredthealmostimpossibleartofpronouncingfivesyllablesasone.
ButthebowwaslostuponBruno,whohadrunoutoftheroom,evenwhilethegreatfeatofTheUnpronounceableMonosyllablewasbeingtriumphantlyperformed.
Justthen,asinglevoiceinthedistancewasunderstoodtoshout“AspeechfromtheChancellor!”“Certainly,myfriends!”
theChancellorrepliedwithextraordinarypromptitude.“Youshallhaveaspeech!”
Hereoneofthewaiters,whohadbeenforsomeminutesbusymakingaqueer-lookingmixtureofeggandsherry,respectfullypresenteditonalargesilversalver.
TheChancellortookithaughtily,drankitoffthoughtfully,smiledbenevolentlyonthehappywaiterashesetdowntheemptyglass,andbegan.
Tothebestofmyrecollectionthisiswhathesaid.
“Ahem!Ahem!Ahem!
Fellow-sufferers,orrathersufferingfellows—”(“Don’tcall‘emnames!”mutteredthemanunderthewindow.“Ididn’tsayfelons!”theChancellorexplained.)
“YoumaybesurethatIalwayssympa—”(“’Ear,‘ear!”
shoutedthecrowd,soloudlyasquitetodrowntheorator’sthinsqueakyvoice)“—thatIalwayssympa—”herepeated.(“Don’tsimperquitesomuch!”saidthemanunderthewindow.“Itmakesyerlookahidiot!”And,allthistime,“’Ear,‘ear!”
wentrumblingroundthemarket-place,likeapealofthunder.)“ThatIalwayssympathise!”
yelledtheChancellor,thefirstmomenttherewassilence.
“ButyourtruefriendistheSub-Warden!
Dayandnightheisbroodingonyourwrongs—Ishouldsayyourrights—thatistosayyourwrongs—no,Imeanyourrights—”(“Don’ttalknomore!”growledthemanunderthewindow.“You’remakingamessofit!”)
AtthismomenttheSub-Wardenenteredthesaloon.
Hewasathinman,withameanandcraftyface,andagreenish-yellowcomplexion;andhecrossedtheroomveryslowly,lookingsuspiciouslyabouthimasifhethoughttheremightbeasavagedoghiddensomewhere.“Bravo!”
hecried,pattingtheChancellorontheback.“Youdidthatspeechverywellindeed.Why,you’reabornorator,man!”
“Oh,that’snothing!”theChancellorreplied,modestly,withdowncasteyes.“Mostoratorsareborn,youknow.”
TheSub-Wardenthoughtfullyrubbedhischin.“Why,sotheyare!”headmitted.“Ineverconsidereditinthatlight.Still,youdiditverywell.Awordinyourear!”
Therestoftheirconversationwasallinwhispers:so,asIcouldhearnomore,IthoughtIwouldgoandfindBruno.
Ifoundthelittlefellowstandinginthepassage,andbeingaddressedbyoneofthemeninlivery,whostoodbeforehim,nearlybentdoublefromextremerespectfulness,withhishandshanginginfrontofhimlikethefinsofafish.
“HisHighExcellency,”thisrespectfulmanwassaying,“isinhisStudy,y’reince!”
(Hedidn’tpronouncethisquitesowellastheChancellor.)
ThitherBrunotrotted,andIthoughtitwelltofollowhim.
TheWarden,atalldignifiedmanwithagravebutverypleasantface,wasseatedbeforeawriting-table,whichwascoveredwithpapers,andholdingonhiskneeoneofthesweetestandloveliestlittlemaidensithaseverbeenmylottosee.
ShelookedfourorfiveyearsolderthanBruno,butshehadthesamerosycheeksandsparklingeyes,andthesamewealthofcurlybrownhair.
Hereagersmilingfacewasturnedupwardstowardsherfather’s,anditwasaprettysighttoseethemutuallovewithwhichthetwofaces—oneintheSpringofLife,theotherinitslateAutumn—weregazingoneachother.
“No,you’veneverseenhim,”theoldmanwassaying:“youcouldn’t,youknow,he’sbeenawaysolong—travelingfromlandtoland,andseekingforhealth,moreyearsthanyou’vebeenalive,littleSylvie!”
HereBrunoclimbeduponhisotherknee,andagooddealofkissing,onarathercomplicatedsystem,wastheresult.
“Heonlycamebacklastnight,”saidtheWarden,whenthekissingwasover:“he’sbeentravelingpost-haste,forthelastthousandmilesorso,inordertobehereonSylvie’sbirthday.
Buthe’saveryearlyriser,andIdaresayhe’sintheLibraryalready.Comewithmeandseehim.He’salwayskindtochildren.You’llbesuretolikehim.”
“HastheOtherProfessorcometoo?”Brunoaskedinanawe-struckvoice.
“Yes,theyarrivedtogether.TheOtherProfessoris—well,youwon’tlikehimquitesomuch,perhaps.He’salittlemoredreamy,youknow.”
“IwissSylviewasalittlemoredreamy,”saidBruno.
“Whatdoyoumean,Bruno?”saidSylvie.
Brunowentonaddressinghisfather.“Shesayssheca’n’t,ooknow.ButIthinksitisn’tca’n’t,it’swo’n’t.”
“Sayssheca’n’tdream!”thepuzzledWardenrepeated.
“Shedosayit,”Brunopersisted.“WhenIsaystoher‘Let’sstoplessons!’,shesays‘Oh,Ica’n’tdreamoflettingoostopyet!’”
“Healwayswantstostoplessons,”Sylvieexplained,“fiveminutesafterwebegin!”
“Fiveminutes’lessonsaday!”saidtheWarden.“Youwon’tlearnmuchatthatrate,littleman!”
“That’sjustwhatSylviesays,”Brunorejoined.“ShesaysIwo’n’tlearnmylessons.
AndItellsher,overandover,Ica’n’tlearn‘em.Andwhatdoosoothinkshesays?Shesays‘Itisn’tca’n’t,it’swo’n’t!’”
“Let’sgoandseetheProfessor,”theWardensaid,wiselyavoidingfurtherdiscussion.
Thechildrengotdownoffhisknees,eachsecuredahand,andthehappytriosetofffortheLibrary—followedbyme.
Ihadcometotheconclusionbythistimethatnoneoftheparty(except,forafewmoments,theLordChancellor)wasintheleastabletoseeme.
“What’sthematterwithhim?”Sylvieasked,walkingwithalittleextrasedateness,bywayofexampletoBrunoattheotherside,whoneverceasedjumpingupanddown.
“Whatwasthematter—butIhopehe’sallrightnow—waslumbago,andrheumatism,andthatkindofthing.
He’sbeencuringhimself,youknow:he’saverylearneddoctor.
Why,he’sactuallyinventedthreenewdiseases,besidesanewwayofbreakingyourcollar-bone!”
“Isitaniceway?”saidBruno.
“Well,hum,notvery,”theWardensaid,asweenteredtheLibrary.“AndhereistheProfessor.Goodmorning,Professor!Hopeyou’requiterestedafteryourjourney!”
Ajolly-looking,fatlittleman,inaflowerydressing-gown,withalargebookundereacharm,cametrottinginattheotherendoftheroom,andwasgoingstraightacrosswithouttakinganynoticeofthechildren.“I’mlookingforVol.Three,”hesaid.“Doyouhappentohaveseenit?”
“Youdon’tseemychildren,Professor!”theWardenexclaimed,takinghimbytheshouldersandturninghimroundtofacethem.
TheProfessorlaughedviolently:thenhegazedatthemthroughhisgreatspectacles,foraminuteortwo,withoutspeaking.
AtlastheaddressedBruno.“Ihopeyouhavehadagoodnight,mychild?”Brunolookedpuzzled.“I’shadthesamenightoo’vehad,”hereplied.“There’sonlybeenonenightsinceyesterday!”
ItwastheProfessor’sturntolookpuzzlednow.
Hetookoffhisspectacles,andrubbedthemwithhishandkerchief.Thenhegazedatthemagain.ThenheturnedtotheWarden.“Aretheybound?”heenquired.
“No,wearen’t,”saidBruno,whothoughthimselfquiteabletoanswerthisquestion.
TheProfessorshookhisheadsadly.“Notevenhalf-bound?”
“Whywouldwebehalf-bound?”saidBruno.
“We’renotprisoners!”
ButtheProfessorhadforgottenallaboutthembythistime,andwasspeakingtotheWardenagain.“You’llbegladtohear,”hewassaying,“thattheBarometer’sbeginningtomove—”
“Well,whichway?”saidtheWarden—adding,tothechildren,“NotthatIcare,youknow.Onlyhethinksitaffectstheweather.
He’sawonderfullycleverman,youknow.
SometimeshesaysthingsthatonlytheOtherProfessorcanunderstand.
Sometimeshesaysthingsthatnobodycanunderstand!Whichwayisit,Professor?Upordown?”
“Neither!”saidtheProfessor,gentlyclappinghishands.“It’sgoingsideways—ifImaysoexpressmyself.”
“Andwhatkindofweatherdoesthatproduce?”saidtheWarden.“Listen,children!Nowyou’llhearsomethingworthknowing!”
“Horizontalweather,”saidtheProfessor,andmadestraightforthedoor,verynearlytramplingonBruno,whohadonlyjusttimetogetoutofhisway.
“Isn’thelearned?”theWardensaid,lookingafterhimwithadmiringeyes.“Positivelyherunsoverwithlearning!”
“Butheneedn’trunoverme!”saidBruno.
TheProfessorwasbackinamoment:hehadchangedhisdressing-gownforafrock-coat,andhadputonapairofverystrange-lookingboots,thetopsofwhichwereopenumbrellas.
“Ithoughtyou’dliketoseethem,”hesaid.
“Thesearethebootsforhorizontalweather!”
“Butwhat’stheuseofwearingumbrellasroundone’sknees?”
“Inordinaryrain,”theProfessoradmitted,“theywouldnotbeofmuchuse.Butifeveritrainedhorizontally,youknow,theywouldbeinvaluable—simplyinvaluable!”
“TaketheProfessortothebreakfast-saloon,children,”saidtheWarden.“Andtellthemnottowaitforme.
Ihadbreakfastearly,asI’vesomebusinesstoattendto.”
ThechildrenseizedtheProfessor’shands,asfamiliarlyasiftheyhadknownhimforyears,andhurriedhimaway.Ifollowedrespectfullybehind.
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