English
Thenextmorningtheyouthdiscoveredthathistallcomradehadbeenthefast-flyingmessengerofamistake.
Therewasmuchscoffingatthelatterbythosewhohadyesterdaybeenfirmadherentsofhisviews,andtherewasevenalittlesneeringbymenwhohadneverbelievedtherumor.
ThetallonefoughtwithamanfromChatfieldCornersandbeathimseverely.
Theyouthfelt,however,thathisproblemwasinnowiseliftedfromhim.
Therewas,onthecontrary,anirritatingprolongation.
Thetalehadcreatedinhimagreatconcernforhimself.
Now,withthenewbornquestioninhismind,hewascompelledtosinkbackintohisoldplaceaspartofabluedemonstration.
Fordayshemadeceaselesscalculations,buttheywereallwondrouslyunsatisfactory.
Hefoundthathecouldestablishnothing.
Hefinallyconcludedthattheonlywaytoprovehimselfwastogointotheblaze,andthenfigurativelytowatchhislegstodiscovertheirmeritsandfaults.
Hereluctantlyadmittedthathecouldnotsitstillandwithamentalslateandpencilderiveananswer.
Togainit,hemusthaveblaze,blood,anddanger,evenasachemistrequiresthis,that,andtheother.Sohefrettedforanopportunity.
Meanwhile,hecontinuallytriedtomeasurehimselfbyhiscomrades.
Thetallsoldier,forone,gavehimsomeassurance.
Thisman’ssereneunconcerndealthimameasureofconfidence,forhehadknownhimsincechildhood,andfromhisintimateknowledgehedidnotseehowhecouldbecapableofanythingthatwasbeyondhim,theyouth.
Still,hethoughtthathiscomrademightbemistakenabouthimself.
Or,ontheotherhand,hemightbeamanheretoforedoomedtopeaceandobscurity,but,inreality,madetoshineinwar.
Theyouthwouldhavelikedtohavediscoveredanotherwhosuspectedhimself.Asympatheticcomparisonofmentalnoteswouldhavebeenajoytohim.
Heoccasionallytriedtofathomacomradewithseductivesentences.
Helookedabouttofindmeninthepropermood.
Allattemptsfailedtobringforthanystatementwhichlookedinanywaylikeaconfessiontothosedoubtswhichheprivatelyacknowledgedinhimself.
Hewasafraidtomakeanopendeclarationofhisconcern,becausehedreadedtoplacesomeunscrupulousconfidantuponthehighplaneoftheunconfessedfromwhichelevationhecouldbederided.
Inregardtohiscompanionshismindwaveredbetweentwoopinions,accordingtohismood.
Sometimesheinclinedtobelievingthemallheroes.
Infact,heusuallyadmiredinsecretthesuperiordevelopmentofthehigherqualitiesinothers.
Hecouldconceiveofmengoingveryinsignificantlyabouttheworldbearingaloadofcourageunseen,andalthoughhehadknownmanyofhiscomradesthroughboyhood,hebegantofearthathisjudgmentofthemhadbeenblind.
Then,inothermoments,hefloutedthesetheories,andassuredhimthathisfellowswereallprivatelywonderingandquaking.
Hisemotionsmadehimfeelstrangeinthepresenceofmenwhotalkedexcitedlyofaprospectivebattleasofadramatheywereabouttowitness,withnothingbuteagernessandcuriosityapparentintheirfaces.
Itwasoftenthathesuspectedthemtobeliars.
Hedidnotpasssuchthoughtswithoutseverecondemnationofhimself.Hedinnedreproachesattimes.Hewasconvictedbyhimselfofmanyshamefulcrimesagainstthegodsoftraditions.
Inhisgreatanxietyhisheartwascontinuallyclamoringatwhatheconsideredtheintolerableslownessofthegenerals.
Theyseemedcontenttoperchtranquillyontheriverbank,andleavehimboweddownbytheweightofagreatproblem.Hewanteditsettledforthwith.
Hecouldnotlongbearsuchaload,hesaid.
Sometimeshisangeratthecommandersreachedanacutestage,andhegrumbledaboutthecamplikeaveteran.
Onemorning,however,hefoundhimselfintheranksofhispreparedregiment.
Themenwerewhisperingspeculationsandrecountingtheoldrumors.
Inthegloombeforethebreakofthedaytheiruniformsglowedadeeppurplehue.
Fromacrosstherivertheredeyeswerestillpeering.
Intheeasternskytherewasayellowpatchlikearuglaidforthefeetofthecomingsun;andagainstit,blackandpatternlike,loomedthegiganticfigureofthecolonelonagigantichorse.
Fromoffinthedarknesscamethetramplingoffeet.
Theyouthcouldoccasionallyseedarkshadowsthatmovedlikemonsters.
Theregimentstoodatrestforwhatseemedalongtime.Theyouthgrewimpatient.
Itwasunendurablethewaytheseaffairsweremanaged.
Hewonderedhowlongtheyweretobekeptwaiting.
Ashelookedallabouthimandpondereduponthemysticgloom,hebegantobelievethatatanymomenttheominousdistancemightbeaflare,andtherollingcrashesofanengagementcometohisears.
Staringonceattheredeyesacrosstheriver,heconceivedthemtobegrowinglarger,astheorbsofarowofdragonsadvancing.
Heturnedtowardthecolonelandsawhimlifthisgiganticarmandcalmlystrokehismustache.
Atlastheheardfromalongtheroadatthefootofthehilltheclatterofahorse’sgallopinghoofs.Itmustbethecomingoforders.Hebentforward,scarcebreathing.
Theexcitingclickety-click,asitgrewlouderandlouder,seemedtobebeatinguponhissoul.
Presentlyahorsemanwithjanglingequipmentdrewreinbeforethecoloneloftheregiment.
Thetwoheldashort,sharp-wordedconversation.
Themenintheforemostrankscranedtheirnecks.
Asthehorsemanwheeledhisanimalandgallopedawayheturnedtoshoutoverhisshoulder,“Don’tforgetthatboxofcigars!”Thecolonelmumbledinreply.
Theyouthwonderedwhataboxofcigarshadtodowithwar.
Amomentlatertheregimentwentswingingoffintothedarkness.
Itwasnowlikeoneofthosemovingmonsterswendingwithmanyfeet.Theairwasheavy,andcoldwithdew.
Amassofwetgrass,marchedupon,rustledlikesilk.
Therewasanoccasionalflashandglimmerofsteelfromthebacksofallthesehugecrawlingreptiles.Fromtheroadcamecreakingsandgrumblingsassomesurlygunsweredraggedaway.
Themenstumbledalongstillmutteringspeculations.Therewasasubdueddebate.
Onceamanfelldown,andashereachedforhisrifleacomrade,unseeing,troduponhishand.
Heoftheinjuredfingerssworebitterly,andaloud.
Alow,titteringlaughwentamonghisfellows.
Presentlytheypassedintoaroadwayandmarchedforwardwitheasystrides.Adarkregimentmovedbeforethem,andfrombehindalsocamethetinkleofequipmentsonthebodiesofmarchingmen.
Therushingyellowofthedevelopingdaywentonbehindtheirbacks.
Whenthesunraysatlaststruckfullandmellowinglyupontheearth,theyouthsawthatthelandscapewasstreakedwithtwolong,thin,blackcolumnswhichdisappearedonthebrowofahillinfrontandrearwardvanishedinawood.
Theywereliketwoserpentscrawlingfromthecavernofthenight.
Theriverwasnotinview.Thetallsoldierburstintopraisesofwhathethoughttobehispowersofperception.
Someofthetallone’scompanionscriedwithemphasisthatthey,too,hadevolvedthesamething,andtheycongratulatedthemselvesuponit.
Buttherewereotherswhosaidthatthetallone’splanwasnotthetrueoneatall.Theypersistedwithothertheories.Therewasavigorousdiscussion.
Theyouthtooknopartinthem.Ashewalkedalongincarelesslinehewasengagedwithhisowneternaldebate.
Hecouldnothinderhimselffromdwellinguponit.
Hewasdespondentandsullen,andthrewshiftingglancesabouthim.
Helookedahead,oftenexpectingtohearfromtheadvancetherattleoffiring.
Butthelongserpentscrawledslowlyfromhilltohillwithoutblusterofsmoke.Adun-coloredcloudofdustfloatedawaytotheright.Theskyoverheadwasofafairyblue.
Theyouthstudiedthefacesofhiscompanions,everonthewatchtodetectkindredemotions.Hesuffereddisappointment.
Someardoroftheairwhichwascausingtheveterancommandstomovewithglee—almostwithsong—hadinfectedthenewregiment.
Themenbegantospeakofvictoryasofathingtheyknew.
Also,thetallsoldierreceivedhisvindication.
Theywerecertainlygoingtocomearoundinbehindtheenemy.
Theyexpressedcommiserationforthatpartofthearmywhichhadbeenleftupontheriverbank,felicitatingthemselvesuponbeingapartofablastinghost.
Theyouth,consideringhimselfasseparatedfromtheothers,wassaddenedbytheblitheandmerryspeechesthatwentfromranktorank.
Thecompanywagsallmadetheirbestendeavors.
Theregimenttrampedtothetuneoflaughter.
Theblatantsoldieroftenconvulsedwholefilesbyhisbitingsarcasmsaimedatthetallone.
Anditwasnotlongbeforeallthemenseemedtoforgettheirmission.Wholebrigadesgrinnedinunison,andregimentslaughed.
Aratherfatsoldierattemptedtopilferahorsefromadooryard.
Heplannedtoloadhisknapsackuponit.
Hewasescapingwithhisprizewhenayounggirlrushedfromthehouseandgrabbedtheanimal’smane.Therefollowedawrangle.
Theyounggirl,withpinkcheeksandshiningeyes,stoodlikeadauntlessstatue.
Theobservantregiment,standingatrestintheroadway,whoopedatonce,andenteredwhole-souleduponthesideofthemaiden.
Themenbecamesoengrossedinthisaffairthattheyentirelyceasedtoremembertheirownlargewar.
Theyjeeredthepiraticalprivate,andcalledattentiontovariousdefectsinhispersonalappearance;andtheywerewildlyenthusiasticinsupportoftheyounggirl.
Toher,fromsomedistance,cameboldadvice.“Hithimwithastick.”
Therewerecrowsandcatcallsshowereduponhimwhenheretreatedwithoutthehorse.Theregimentrejoicedathisdownfall.
Loudandvociferouscongratulationswereshowereduponthemaiden,whostoodpantingandregardingthetroopswithdefiance.
Atnightfallthecolumnbrokeintoregimentalpieces,andthefragmentswentintothefieldstocamp.Tentsspranguplikestrangeplants.Campfires,likered,peculiarblossoms,dottedthenight.
Theyouthkeptfromintercoursewithhiscompanionsasmuchascircumstanceswouldallowhim.
Intheeveninghewanderedafewpacesintothegloom.
Fromthislittledistancethemanyfires,withtheblackformsofmenpassingtoandfrobeforethecrimsonrays,madeweirdandsataniceffects.
Helaydowninthegrass.Thebladespressedtenderlyagainsthischeek.
Themoonhadbeenlightedandwashunginatreetop.
Theliquidstillnessofthenightenvelopinghimmadehimfeelvastpityforhimself.
Therewasacaressinthesoftwinds;andthewholemoodofthedarkness,hethought,wasoneofsympathyforhimselfinhisdistress.
Hewished,withoutreserve,thathewasathomeagainmakingtheendlessroundsfromthehousetothebarn,fromthebarntothefields,fromthefieldstothebarn,fromthebarntothehouse.
Herememberedhehadsooftencursedthebrindlecowandhermates,andhadsometimesflungmilkingstools.
But,fromhispresentpointofview,therewasahaloofhappinessabouteachoftheirheads,andhewouldhavesacrificedallthebrassbuttonsonthecontinenttohavebeenenabledtoreturntothem.
Hetoldhimselfthathewasnotformedforasoldier.
Andhemusedseriouslyupontheradicaldifferencesbetweenhimselfandthosemenwhoweredodgingimplikearoundthefires.
Ashemusedthusheheardtherustleofgrass,and,uponturninghishead,discoveredtheloudsoldier.Hecalledout,“Oh,Wilson!”
Thelatterapproachedandlookeddown.“Why,hello,Henry;isityou?Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Oh,thinking,”saidtheyouth.
Theothersatdownandcarefullylightedhispipe.“You’regettingbluemyboy.You’relookingthunderingpeek-ed.Whatthedickensiswrongwithyou?”
“Oh,nothing,”saidtheyouth.
Theloudsoldierlaunchedthenintothesubjectoftheanticipatedfight.“Oh,we’vegot‘emnow!”
Ashespokehisboyishfacewaswreathedinagleefulsmile,andhisvoicehadanexultantring.“We’vegot‘emnow.
Atlast,bytheeternalthunders,we’lllike‘emgood!”
“Ifthetruthwasknown,”headded,moresoberly,“they’velickedUSabouteveryclipuptonow;butthistime—thistime—we’lllick‘emgood!”
“Ithoughtyouwasobjectingtothismarchalittlewhileago,”saidtheyouthcoldly.
“Oh,itwasn’tthat,”explainedtheother.
“Idon’tmindmarching,ifthere’sgoingtobefightingattheendofit.
WhatIhateisthisgettingmovedhereandmovedthere,withnogoodcomingofit,asfarasIcansee,exceptingsorefeetanddamnedshortrations.”
“Well,JimConklinsayswe’llgetplentyoffightingthistime.”
“He’srightforonce,Iguess,thoughIcan’tseehowitcome.Thistimewe’reinforabigbattle,andwe’vegotthebestendofit,certainsure.Geerod!howwewillthump‘em!”
Hearoseandbegantopacetoandfroexcitedly.
Thethrillofhisenthusiasmmadehimwalkwithanelasticstep.
Hewassprightly,vigorous,fieryinhisbeliefinsuccess.
Helookedintothefuturewithclearproudeye,andhesworewiththeairofanoldsoldier.
Theyouthwatchedhimforamomentinsilence.Whenhefinallyspokehisvoicewasasbitterasdregs.“Oh,you’regoingtodogreatthings,Is’pose!”
Theloudsoldierblewathoughtfulcloudofsmokefromhispipe.
“Oh,Idon’tknow,”heremarkedwithdignity;“Idon’tknow.Is’poseI’lldoaswellastherest.I’mgoingtotrylikethunder.”
Heevidentlycomplimentedhimselfuponthemodestyofthisstatement.
“Howdoyouknowyouwon’trunwhenthetimecomes?”askedtheyouth.
“Run?”saidtheloudone;“run?—ofcoursenot!”Helaughed.
“Well,”continuedtheyouth,“lotsofgood-a-’noughmenhavethoughttheywasgoingtodogreatthingsbeforethfight,butwhenthetimecometheyskedaddled.”
“Oh,that’salltrue,Is’pose,”repliedtheother;“butI’mnotgoingtoskedaddle.Themanthatbetsonmyrunningwilllosehismoney,that’sall.”Henoddedconfidently.
“Oh,shucks!”saidtheyouth.“Youain’tthebravestmanintheworld,areyou?”
“No,Iain’t,”exclaimedtheloudsoldierindignantly;“andIdidn’tsayIwasthebravestmanintheworld,neither.
IsaidIwasgoingtodomyshareoffighting—that’swhatIsaid.AndIam,too.Whoareyou,anyhow?
YoutalkasifyouthoughtyouwasNapoleonBonaparte.”
Heglaredattheyouthforamoment,andthenstrodeaway.
Theyouthcalledinasavagevoiceafterhiscomrade:“Well,youneedn’tgitmadaboutit!”Buttheothercontinuedonhiswayandmadenoreply.
Hefeltaloneinspacewhenhisinjuredcomradehaddisappeared.
Hisfailuretodiscoveranymiteofresemblanceintheirviewpointsmadehimmoremiserablethanbefore.
Nooneseemedtobewrestlingwithsuchaterrificpersonalproblem.Hewasamentaloutcast.
Hewentslowlytohistentandstretchedhimselfonablanketbythesideofthesnoringtallsoldier.
Inthedarknesshesawvisionsofathousand-tonguedfearthatwouldbabbleathisbackandcausehimtoflee,whileothersweregoingcoollyabouttheircountry’sbusiness.
Headmittedthathewouldnotbeabletocopewiththismonster.
Hefeltthateverynerveinhisbodywouldbeaneartohearthevoices,whileothermenwouldremainstolidanddeaf.
Andashesweatedwiththepainofthesethoughts,hecouldhearlow,serenesentences.“I’llbidfive.”
“Makeitsix.”
“Seven.”
“Sevengoes.”
Hestaredatthered,shiveringreflectionofafireonthewhitewallofhistentuntil,exhaustedandillfromthemonotonyofhissuffering,hefellasleep.
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