English
Forthenexteightortenmonths,Oliverwasthevictimofasystematiccourseoftreacheryanddeception.Hewasbroughtupbyhand.
Thehungryanddestitutesituationoftheinfantorphanwasdulyreportedbytheworkhouseauthoritiestotheparishauthorities.
Theparishauthoritiesinquiredwithdignityoftheworkhouseauthorities,whethertherewasnofemalethendomiciledin‘thehouse’whowasinasituationtoimparttoOliverTwist,theconsolationandnourishmentofwhichhestoodinneed.
Theworkhouseauthoritiesrepliedwithhumility,thattherewasnot.
Uponthis,theparishauthoritiesmagnanimouslyandhumanelyresolved,thatOlivershouldbe‘farmed,’or,inotherwords,thatheshouldbedispatchedtoabranch-workhousesomethreemilesoff,wheretwentyorthirtyotherjuvenileoffendersagainstthepoor-laws,rolledaboutthefloorallday,withouttheinconvenienceoftoomuchfoodortoomuchclothing,undertheparentalsuperintendenceofanelderlyfemale,whoreceivedtheculpritsatandfortheconsiderationofsevenpence-halfpennypersmallheadperweek.
Sevenpence-halfpenny’sworthperweekisagoodrounddietforachild;agreatdealmaybegotforsevenpence-halfpenny,quiteenoughtooverloaditsstomach,andmakeituncomfortable.
Theelderlyfemalewasawomanofwisdomandexperience;sheknewwhatwasgoodforchildren;andshehadaveryaccurateperceptionofwhatwasgoodforherself.
So,sheappropriatedthegreaterpartoftheweeklystipendtoherownuse,andconsignedtherisingparochialgenerationtoevenashorterallowancethanwasoriginallyprovidedforthem.
Therebyfindinginthelowestdepthadeeperstill;andprovingherselfaverygreatexperimentalphilosopher.
Everybodyknowsthestoryofanotherexperimentalphilosopherwhohadagreattheoryaboutahorsebeingabletolivewithouteating,andwhodemonstrateditsowell,thathehadgothisownhorsedowntoastrawaday,andwouldunquestionablyhaverenderedhimaveryspiritedandrampaciousanimalonnothingatall,ifhehadnotdied,four-and-twentyhoursbeforehewastohavehadhisfirstcomfortablebaitofair.
Unfortunatelyfor,theexperimentalphilosophyofthefemaletowhoseprotectingcareOliverTwistwasdeliveredover,asimilarresultusuallyattendedtheoperationofhersystem;forattheverymomentwhenthechildhadcontrivedtoexistuponthesmallestpossibleportionoftheweakestpossiblefood,itdidperverselyhappenineightandahalfcasesoutoften,eitherthatitsickenedfromwantandcold,orfellintothefirefromneglect,orgothalf-smotheredbyaccident;inanyoneofwhichcases,themiserablelittlebeingwasusuallysummonedintoanotherworld,andtheregatheredtothefathersithadneverknowninthis.
Occasionally,whentherewassomemorethanusuallyinterestinginquestuponaparishchildwhohadbeenoverlookedinturningupabedstead,orinadvertentlyscaldedtodeathwhentherehappenedtobeawashing—thoughthelatteraccidentwasveryscarce,anythingapproachingtoawashingbeingofrareoccurrenceinthefarm—thejurywouldtakeitintotheirheadstoasktroublesomequestions,ortheparishionerswouldrebelliouslyaffixtheirsignaturestoaremonstrance.
Buttheseimpertinenceswerespeedilycheckedbytheevidenceofthesurgeon,andthetestimonyofthebeadle;theformerofwhomhadalwaysopenedthebodyandfoundnothinginside(whichwasveryprobableindeed),andthelatterofwhominvariablysworewhatevertheparishwanted;whichwasveryself-devotional.
Besides,theboardmadeperiodicalpilgrimagestothefarm,andalwayssentthebeadlethedaybefore,tosaytheyweregoing.
Thechildrenwereneatandcleantobehold,whentheywent;andwhatmorewouldthepeoplehave!
Itcannotbeexpectedthatthissystemoffarmingwouldproduceanyveryextraordinaryorluxuriantcrop.
OliverTwist’sninthbirthdayfoundhimapalethinchild,somewhatdiminutiveinstature,anddecidedlysmallincircumference.
ButnatureorinheritancehadimplantedagoodsturdyspiritinOliver’sbreast.
Ithadhadplentyofroomtoexpand,thankstothesparedietoftheestablishment;andperhapstothiscircumstancemaybeattributedhishavinganyninthbirth-dayatall.
Bethisasitmay,however,itwashisninthbirthday;andhewaskeepingitinthecoal-cellarwithaselectpartyoftwootheryounggentleman,who,afterparticipatingwithhiminasoundthrashing,hadbeenlockedupforatrociouslypresumingtobehungry,whenMrs.Mann,thegoodladyofthehouse,wasunexpectedlystartledbytheapparitionofMr.Bumble,thebeadle,strivingtoundothewicketofthegarden-gate.
‘Goodnessgracious!Isthatyou,Mr.Bumble,sir?’
saidMrs.Mann,thrustingherheadoutofthewindowinwell-affectedecstasiesofjoy.
‘(Susan,takeOliverandthemtwobratsupstairs,andwash‘emdirectly.)—Myheartalive!
Mr.Bumble,howgladIamtoseeyou,sure-ly!’
Now,Mr.Bumblewasafatman,andacholeric;so,insteadofrespondingtothisopen-heartedsalutationinakindredspirit,hegavethelittlewicketatremendousshake,andthenbestoweduponitakickwhichcouldhaveemanatedfromnolegbutabeadle’s.
‘Lor,onlythink,’saidMrs.Mann,runningout,—forthethreeboyshadbeenremovedbythistime,—’onlythinkofthat!
ThatIshouldhaveforgottenthatthegatewasboltedontheinside,onaccountofthemdearchildren!
Walkinsir;walkin,pray,Mr.Bumble,do,sir.’
Althoughthisinvitationwasaccompaniedwithacurtseythatmighthavesoftenedtheheartofachurch-warden,itbynomeansmollifiedthebeadle.
‘Doyouthinkthisrespectfulorproperconduct,Mrs.Mann,’inquiredMr.Bumble,graspinghiscane,‘tokeeptheparishofficersawaitingatyourgarden-gate,whentheycomehereuponporochialbusinesswiththeporochialorphans?
Areyouaweer,Mrs.Mann,thatyouare,asImaysay,aporochialdelegate,andastipendiary?’
‘I’msureMr.Bumble,thatIwasonlyatellingoneortwoofthedearchildrenasissofondofyou,thatitwasyouacoming,’repliedMrs.Mannwithgreathumility.
Mr.Bumblehadagreatideaofhisoratoricalpowersandhisimportance.Hehaddisplayedtheone,andvindicatedtheother.Herelaxed.
‘Well,well,Mrs.Mann,’herepliedinacalmertone;‘itmaybeasyousay;itmaybe.Leadthewayin,Mrs.Mann,forIcomeonbusiness,andhavesomethingtosay.’
Mrs.Mannusheredthebeadleintoasmallparlourwithabrickfloor;placedaseatforhim;andofficiouslydepositedhiscockedhatandcaneonthetablebeforehim.
Mr.Bumblewipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhiswalkhadengendered,glancedcomplacentlyatthecockedhat,andsmiled.Yes,hesmiled.
Beadlesarebutmen:andMr.Bumblesmiled.
‘Nowdon’tyoubeoffendedatwhatI’magoingtosay,’observedMrs.Mann,withcaptivatingsweetness.
‘You’vehadalongwalk,youknow,orIwouldn’tmentionit.
Now,willyoutakealittledropofsomethink,Mr.Bumble?’
‘Notadrop.Noradrop,’saidMr.Bumble,wavinghisrighthandinadignified,butplacidmanner.
‘Ithinkyouwill,’saidMrs.Mann,whohadnoticedthetoneoftherefusal,andthegesturethathadaccompaniedit.‘Justaleetledrop,withalittlecoldwater,andalumpofsugar.’
Mr.Bumblecoughed.
‘Now,justaleetledrop,’saidMrs.Mannpersuasively.
‘Whatisit?’inquiredthebeadle.
‘Why,it’swhatI’mobligedtokeepalittleofinthehouse,toputintotheblessedinfants’Daffy,whentheyain’twell,Mr.Bumble,’repliedMrs.Mannassheopenedacornercupboard,andtookdownabottleandglass.‘It’sgin.I’llnotdeceiveyou,Mr.B.It’sgin.’
‘DoyougivethechildrenDaffy,Mrs.Mann?’inquiredBumble,followingwithhiseyestheinterestingprocessofmixing.
‘Ah,bless‘em,thatIdo,dearasitis,’repliedthenurse.‘Icouldn’tsee‘emsufferbeforemyveryeyes,youknowsir.’
‘No’;saidMr.Bumbleapprovingly;‘no,youcouldnot.Youareahumanewoman,Mrs.Mann.’(Hereshesetdowntheglass.)
‘Ishalltakeaearlyopportunityofmentioningittotheboard,Mrs.Mann.’(Hedrewittowardshim.)‘Youfeelasamother,Mrs.Mann.’(Hestirredthegin-and-water.)
‘I—Idrinkyourhealthwithcheerfulness,Mrs.Mann’;andheswallowedhalfofit.
‘Andnowaboutbusiness,’saidthebeadle,takingoutaleathernpocket-book.‘Thechildthatwashalf-baptizedOliverTwist,isnineyearoldto-day.’
‘Blesshim!’interposedMrs.Mann,inflamingherlefteyewiththecornerofherapron.
‘Andnotwithstandingaofferedrewardoftenpound,whichwasafterwardsincreasedtotwentypound.
Notwithstandingthemostsuperlative,and,Imaysay,supernat’ralexertionsonthepartofthisparish,’saidBumble,‘wehaveneverbeenabletodiscoverwhoishisfather,orwhatwashismother’ssettlement,name,orcon—dition.’
Mrs.Mannraisedherhandsinastonishment;butadded,afteramoment’sreflection,‘Howcomeshetohaveanynameatall,then?’
Thebeadledrewhimselfupwithgreatpride,andsaid,‘Iinwentedit.’
‘You,Mr.Bumble!’
‘I,Mrs.Mann.Wenameourfondlingsinalphabeticalorder.ThelastwasaS,—Swubble,Inamedhim.ThiswasaT,—Twist,Inamedhim.
ThenextonecomeswillbeUnwin,andthenextVilkins.
Ihavegotnamesreadymadetotheendofthealphabet,andallthewaythroughitagain,whenwecometoZ.’
‘Why,you’requitealiterarycharacter,sir!’saidMrs.Mann.
‘Well,well,’saidthebeadle,evidentlygratifiedwiththecompliment;‘perhapsImaybe.PerhapsImaybe,Mrs.Mann.’
Hefinishedthegin-and-water,andadded,‘Oliverbeingnowtoooldtoremainhere,theboardhavedeterminedtohavehimbackintothehouse.
Ihavecomeoutmyselftotakehimthere.Soletmeseehimatonce.’
‘I’llfetchhimdirectly,’saidMrs.Mann,leavingtheroomforthatpurpose.
Oliver,havinghadbythistimeasmuchoftheoutercoatofdirtwhichencrustedhisfaceandhands,removed,ascouldbescrubbedoffinonewashing,wasledintotheroombyhisbenevolentprotectress.
‘Makeabowtothegentleman,Oliver,’saidMrs.Mann.
Olivermadeabow,whichwasdividedbetweenthebeadleonthechair,andthecockedhatonthetable.
‘Willyougoalongwithme,Oliver?’saidMr.Bumble,inamajesticvoice.
Oliverwasabouttosaythathewouldgoalongwithanybodywithgreatreadiness,when,glancingupward,hecaughtsightofMrs.Mann,whohadgotbehindthebeadle’schair,andwasshakingherfistathimwithafuriouscountenance.
Hetookthehintatonce,forthefisthadbeentoooftenimpresseduponhisbodynottobedeeplyimpresseduponhisrecollection.
‘Willshegowithme?’inquiredpoorOliver.
‘No,shecan’t,’repliedMr.Bumble.‘Butshe’llcomeandseeyousometimes.’
Thiswasnoverygreatconsolationtothechild.
Youngashewas,however,hehadsenseenoughtomakeafeintoffeelinggreatregretatgoingaway.
Itwasnoverydifficultmatterfortheboytocalltearsintohiseyes.
Hungerandrecentill-usagearegreatassistantsifyouwanttocry;andOlivercriedverynaturallyindeed.
Mrs.Manngavehimathousandembraces,andwhatOliverwantedagreatdealmore,apieceofbreadandbutter,lessheshouldseemtoohungrywhenhegottotheworkhouse.
Withthesliceofbreadinhishand,andthelittlebrown-clothparishcaponhishead,OliverwasthenledawaybyMr.Bumblefromthewretchedhomewhereonekindwordorlookhadneverlightedthegloomofhisinfantyears.
Andyetheburstintoanagonyofchildishgrief,asthecottage-gateclosedafterhim.
Wretchedaswerethelittlecompanionsinmiseryhewasleavingbehind,theyweretheonlyfriendshehadeverknown;andasenseofhislonelinessinthegreatwideworld,sankintothechild’sheartforthefirsttime.
Mr.Bumblewalkedonwithlongstrides;littleOliver,firmlygraspinghisgold-lacedcuff,trottedbesidehim,inquiringattheendofeveryquarterofamilewhethertheywere‘nearlythere.’
TotheseinterrogationsMr.Bumblereturnedverybriefandsnappishreplies;forthetemporaryblandnesswhichgin-and-waterawakensinsomebosomshadbythistimeevaporated;andhewasonceagainabeadle.
Oliverhadnotbeenwithinthewallsoftheworkhouseaquarterofanhour,andhadscarcelycompletedthedemolitionofasecondsliceofbread,whenMr.Bumble,whohadhandedhimovertothecareofanoldwoman,returned;and,tellinghimitwasaboardnight,informedhimthattheboardhadsaidhewastoappearbeforeitforthwith.
Nothavingaveryclearlydefinednotionofwhataliveboardwas,Oliverwasratherastoundedbythisintelligence,andwasnotquitecertainwhetherheoughttolaughorcry.
Hehadnotimetothinkaboutthematter,however;forMr.Bumblegavehimataponthehead,withhiscane,towakehimup:andanotheronthebacktomakehimlively:andbiddinghimtofollow,conductedhimintoalargewhite-washedroom,whereeightortenfatgentlemenweresittingroundatable.
Atthetopofthetable,seatedinanarm-chairratherhigherthantherest,wasaparticularlyfatgentlemanwithaveryround,redface.
‘Bowtotheboard,’saidBumble.Oliverbrushedawaytwoorthreetearsthatwerelingeringinhiseyes;andseeingnoboardbutthetable,fortunatelybowedtothat.
‘What’syourname,boy?’saidthegentlemaninthehighchair.
Oliverwasfrightenedatthesightofsomanygentlemen,whichmadehimtremble:andthebeadlegavehimanothertapbehind,whichmadehimcry.
Thesetwocausesmadehimanswerinaverylowandhesitatingvoice;whereuponagentlemaninawhitewaistcoatsaidhewasafool.
Whichwasacapitalwayofraisinghisspirits,andputtinghimquiteathisease.
‘Boy,’saidthegentlemaninthehighchair,‘listentome.Youknowyou’reanorphan,Isuppose?’
‘What’sthat,sir?’inquiredpoorOliver.
‘Theboyisafool—Ithoughthewas,’saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat.
‘Hush!’saidthegentlemanwhohadspokenfirst.‘Youknowyou’vegotnofatherormother,andthatyouwerebroughtupbytheparish,don’tyou?’
‘Yes,sir,’repliedOliver,weepingbitterly.
‘Whatareyoucryingfor?’inquiredthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat.Andtobesureitwasveryextraordinary.Whatcouldtheboybecryingfor?
‘Ihopeyousayyourprayerseverynight,’saidanothergentlemaninagruffvoice;‘andprayforthepeoplewhofeedyou,andtakecareofyou—likeaChristian.’
‘Yes,sir,’stammeredtheboy.Thegentlemanwhospokelastwasunconsciouslyright.
ItwouldhavebeenverylikeaChristian,andamarvellouslygoodChristiantoo,ifOliverhadprayedforthepeoplewhofedandtookcareofhim.
Buthehadn’t,becausenobodyhadtaughthim.
‘Well!Youhavecomeheretobeeducated,andtaughtausefultrade,’saidthered-facedgentlemaninthehighchair.
‘Soyou’llbegintopickoakumto-morrowmorningatsixo’clock,’addedthesurlyoneinthewhitewaistcoat.
Forthecombinationofboththeseblessingsintheonesimpleprocessofpickingoakum,Oliverbowedlowbythedirectionofthebeadle,andwasthenhurriedawaytoalargeward;where,onarough,hardbed,hesobbedhimselftosleep.
WhatanovelillustrationofthetenderlawsofEngland!Theyletthepaupersgotosleep!
PoorOliver!Helittlethought,ashelaysleepinginhappyunconsciousnessofallaroundhim,thattheboardhadthatverydayarrivedatadecisionwhichwouldexercisethemostmaterialinfluenceoverallhisfuturefortunes.Buttheyhad.Andthiswasit:
Themembersofthisboardwereverysage,deep,philosophicalmen;andwhentheycametoturntheirattentiontotheworkhouse,theyfoundoutatonce,whatordinaryfolkswouldneverhavediscovered—thepoorpeoplelikedit!
Itwasaregularplaceofpublicentertainmentforthepoorerclasses;atavernwheretherewasnothingtopay;apublicbreakfast,dinner,tea,andsupperalltheyearround;abrickandmortarelysium,whereitwasallplayandnowork.‘Oho!’
saidtheboard,lookingveryknowing;‘wearethefellowstosetthistorights;we’llstopitall,innotime.’
So,theyestablishedtherule,thatallpoorpeopleshouldhavethealternative(fortheywouldcompelnobody,notthey),ofbeingstarvedbyagradualprocessinthehouse,orbyaquickoneoutofit.
Withthisview,theycontractedwiththewater-workstolayonanunlimitedsupplyofwater;andwithacorn-factortosupplyperiodicallysmallquantitiesofoatmeal;andissuedthreemealsofthingrueladay,withanoniontwiceaweek,andhalfarollofSundays.
Theymadeagreatmanyotherwiseandhumaneregulations,havingreferencetotheladies,whichitisnotnecessarytorepeat;kindlyundertooktodivorcepoormarriedpeople,inconsequenceofthegreatexpenseofasuitinDoctors’Commons;and,insteadofcompellingamantosupporthisfamily,astheyhadtheretoforedone,tookhisfamilyawayfromhim,andmadehimabachelor!
Thereisnosayinghowmanyapplicantsforrelief,undertheselasttwoheads,mighthavestartedupinallclassesofsociety,ifithadnotbeencoupledwiththeworkhouse;buttheboardwerelong-headedmen,andhadprovidedforthisdifficulty.
Thereliefwasinseparablefromtheworkhouseandthegruel;andthatfrightenedpeople.
ForthefirstsixmonthsafterOliverTwistwasremoved,thesystemwasinfulloperation.
Itwasratherexpensiveatfirst,inconsequenceoftheincreaseintheundertaker’sbill,andthenecessityoftakingintheclothesofallthepaupers,whichflutteredlooselyontheirwasted,shrunkenforms,afteraweekortwo’sgruel.
Butthenumberofworkhouseinmatesgotthinaswellasthepaupers;andtheboardwereinecstasies.
Theroominwhichtheboyswerefed,wasalargestonehall,withacopperatoneend:outofwhichthemaster,dressedinanapronforthepurpose,andassistedbyoneortwowomen,ladledthegruelatmealtimes.
Ofthisfestivecompositioneachboyhadoneporringer,andnomore—exceptonoccasionsofgreatpublicrejoicing,whenhehadtwoouncesandaquarterofbreadbesides.
Thebowlsneverwantedwashing.Theboyspolishedthemwiththeirspoonstilltheyshoneagain;andwhentheyhadperformedthisoperation(whichnevertookverylong,thespoonsbeingnearlyaslargeasthebowls),theywouldsitstaringatthecopper,withsucheagereyes,asiftheycouldhavedevouredtheverybricksofwhichitwascomposed;employingthemselves,meanwhile,insuckingtheirfingersmostassiduously,withtheviewofcatchingupanystraysplashesofgruelthatmighthavebeencastthereon.
Boyshavegenerallyexcellentappetites.
OliverTwistandhiscompanionssufferedthetorturesofslowstarvationforthreemonths:atlasttheygotsovoraciousandwildwithhunger,thatoneboy,whowastallforhisage,andhadn’tbeenusedtothatsortofthing(forhisfatherhadkeptasmallcook-shop),hinteddarklytohiscompanions,thatunlesshehadanotherbasinofgruelperdiem,hewasafraidhemightsomenighthappentoeattheboywhosleptnexthim,whohappenedtobeaweaklyyouthoftenderage.
Hehadawild,hungryeye;andtheyimplicitlybelievedhim.
Acouncilwasheld;lotswerecastwhoshouldwalkuptothemasteraftersupperthatevening,andaskformore;anditfelltoOliverTwist.
Theeveningarrived;theboystooktheirplaces.
Themaster,inhiscook’suniform,stationedhimselfatthecopper;hispauperassistantsrangedthemselvesbehindhim;thegruelwasservedout;andalonggracewassaidovertheshortcommons.
Thegrueldisappeared;theboyswhisperedeachother,andwinkedatOliver;whilehisnextneighborsnudgedhim.
Childashewas,hewasdesperatewithhunger,andrecklesswithmisery.
Herosefromthetable;andadvancingtothemaster,basinandspooninhand,said:somewhatalarmedathisowntemerity:
‘Please,sir,Iwantsomemore.’
Themasterwasafat,healthyman;butheturnedverypale.
Hegazedinstupefiedastonishmentonthesmallrebelforsomeseconds,andthenclungforsupporttothecopper.
Theassistantswereparalysedwithwonder;theboyswithfear.
‘What!’saidthemasteratlength,inafaintvoice.
‘Please,sir,’repliedOliver,‘Iwantsomemore.’
ThemasteraimedablowatOliver’sheadwiththeladle;pinionedhiminhisarm;andshriekedaloudforthebeadle.
Theboardweresittinginsolemnconclave,whenMr.Bumblerushedintotheroomingreatexcitement,andaddressingthegentlemaninthehighchair,said,
‘Mr.Limbkins,Ibegyourpardon,sir!OliverTwisthasaskedformore!’
Therewasageneralstart.Horrorwasdepictedoneverycountenance.
‘Formore!’saidMr.Limbkins.‘Composeyourself,Bumble,andanswermedistinctly.DoIunderstandthatheaskedformore,afterhehadeatenthesupperallottedbythedietary?’
‘Hedid,sir,’repliedBumble.
‘Thatboywillbehung,’saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat.‘Iknowthatboywillbehung.’
Nobodycontrovertedthepropheticgentleman’sopinion.Ananimateddiscussiontookplace.
Oliverwasorderedintoinstantconfinement;andabillwasnextmorningpastedontheoutsideofthegate,offeringarewardoffivepoundstoanybodywhowouldtakeOliverTwistoffthehandsoftheparish.
Inotherwords,fivepoundsandOliverTwistwereofferedtoanymanorwomanwhowantedanapprenticetoanytrade,business,orcalling.
‘Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife,’saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat,asheknockedatthegateandreadthebillnextmorning:‘Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife,thanIamthatthatboywillcometobehung.’
AsIpurposetoshowinthesequelwhetherthewhitewaistcoatedgentlemanwasrightornot,Ishouldperhapsmartheinterestofthisnarrative(supposingittopossessanyatall),ifIventuredtohintjustyet,whetherthelifeofOliverTwisthadthisviolentterminationorno.
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