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Soonafterthis,thegeneralfoundhimselfobligedtogotoLondonforaweek;andheleftNorthangerearnestlyregrettingthatanynecessityshouldrobhimevenforanhourofMissMorland’scompany,andanxiouslyrecommendingthestudyofhercomfortandamusementtohischildrenastheirchiefobjectinhisabsence.
HisdeparturegaveCatherinethefirstexperimentalconvictionthatalossmaybesometimesagain.
Thehappinesswithwhichtheirtimenowpassed,everyemploymentvoluntary,everylaughindulged,everymealasceneofeaseandgoodhumour,walkingwheretheylikedandwhentheyliked,theirhours,pleasures,andfatiguesattheirowncommand,madeherthoroughlysensibleoftherestraintwhichthegeneral’spresencehadimposed,andmostthankfullyfeeltheirpresentreleasefromit.
Sucheaseandsuchdelightsmadeherlovetheplaceandthepeoplemoreandmoreeveryday;andhaditnotbeenforadreadofitssoonbecomingexpedienttoleavetheone,andanapprehensionofnotbeingequallybelovedbytheother,shewouldateachmomentofeachdayhavebeenperfectlyhappy;butshewasnowinthefourthweekofhervisit;beforethegeneralcamehome,thefourthweekwouldbeturned,andperhapsitmightseemanintrusionifshestayedmuchlonger.
Thiswasapainfulconsiderationwheneveritoccurred;andeagertogetridofsuchaweightonhermind,sheverysoonresolvedtospeaktoEleanoraboutitatonce,proposegoingaway,andbeguidedinherconductbythemannerinwhichherproposalmightbetaken.
Awarethatifshegaveherselfmuchtime,shemightfeelitdifficulttobringforwardsounpleasantasubject,shetookthefirstopportunityofbeingsuddenlyalonewithEleanor,andofEleanor’sbeinginthemiddleofaspeechaboutsomethingverydifferent,tostartforthherobligationofgoingawayverysoon.
Eleanorlookedanddeclaredherselfmuchconcerned.
Shehad“hopedforthepleasureofhercompanyforamuchlongertime—hadbeenmisled(perhapsbyherwishes)tosupposethatamuchlongervisithadbeenpromised—andcouldnotbutthinkthatifMr.andMrs.Morlandwereawareofthepleasureitwastohertohaveherthere,theywouldbetoogeneroustohastenherreturn.”Catherineexplained:“Oh!
Astothat,PapaandMammawereinnohurryatall.
Aslongasshewashappy,theywouldalwaysbesatisfied.”
“Thenwhy,mightsheask,insuchahurryherselftoleavethem?”
“Oh!Becauseshehadbeentheresolong.”
“Nay,ifyoucanusesuchaword,Icanurgeyounofarther.Ifyouthinkitlong—”
“Oh!No,Idonotindeed.
Formyownpleasure,Icouldstaywithyouaslongagain.”
Anditwasdirectlysettledthat,tillshehad,herleavingthemwasnoteventobethoughtof.
Inhavingthiscauseofuneasinesssopleasantlyremoved,theforceoftheotherwaslikewiseweakened.
Thekindness,theearnestnessofEleanor’smannerinpressinghertostay,andHenry’sgratifiedlookonbeingtoldthatherstaywasdetermined,weresuchsweetproofsofherimportancewiththem,asleftheronlyjustsomuchsolicitudeasthehumanmindcanneverdocomfortablywithout.
Shedid—almostalways—believethatHenrylovedher,andquitealwaysthathisfatherandsisterlovedandevenwishedhertobelongtothem;andbelievingsofar,herdoubtsandanxietiesweremerelysportiveirritations.
Henrywasnotabletoobeyhisfather’sinjunctionofremainingwhollyatNorthangerinattendanceontheladies,duringhisabsenceinLondon,theengagementsofhiscurateatWoodstonobliginghimtoleavethemonSaturdayforacoupleofnights.
Hislosswasnotnowwhatithadbeenwhilethegeneralwasathome;itlessenedtheirgaiety,butdidnotruintheircomfort;andthetwogirlsagreeinginoccupation,andimprovinginintimacy,foundthemselvessowellsufficientforthetimetothemselves,thatitwaseleveno’clock,ratheralatehourattheabbey,beforetheyquittedthesupper–roomonthedayofHenry’sdeparture.
Theyhadjustreachedtheheadofthestairswhenitseemed,asfarasthethicknessofthewallswouldallowthemtojudge,thatacarriagewasdrivinguptothedoor,andthenextmomentconfirmedtheideabytheloudnoiseofthehouse–bell.
Afterthefirstperturbationofsurprisehadpassedaway,ina“Goodheaven!Whatcanbethematter?”
itwasquicklydecidedbyEleanortobehereldestbrother,whosearrivalwasoftenassudden,ifnotquitesounseasonable,andaccordinglyshehurrieddowntowelcomehim.
Catherinewalkedontoherchamber,makinguphermindaswellasshecould,toafurtheracquaintancewithCaptainTilney,andcomfortingherselfundertheunpleasantimpressionhisconducthadgivenher,andthepersuasionofhisbeingbyfartoofineagentlemantoapproveofher,thatatleasttheyshouldnotmeetundersuchcircumstancesaswouldmaketheirmeetingmateriallypainful.
ShetrustedhewouldneverspeakofMissThorpe;andindeed,ashemustbythistimebeashamedoftheparthehadacted,therecouldbenodangerofit;andaslongasallmentionofBathsceneswereavoided,shethoughtshecouldbehavetohimverycivilly.
Insuchconsiderationstimepassedaway,anditwascertainlyinhisfavourthatEleanorshouldbesogladtoseehim,andhavesomuchtosay,forhalfanhourwasalmostgonesincehisarrival,andEleanordidnotcomeup.
AtthatmomentCatherinethoughtsheheardherstepinthegallery,andlistenedforitscontinuance;butallwassilent.
Scarcely,however,hadsheconvictedherfancyoferror,whenthenoiseofsomethingmovingclosetoherdoormadeherstart;itseemedasifsomeonewastouchingtheverydoorway—andinanothermomentaslightmotionofthelockprovedthatsomehandmustbeonit.
Shetrembledalittleattheideaofanyone’sapproachingsocautiously;butresolvingnottobeagainovercomebytrivialappearancesofalarm,ormisledbyaraisedimagination,shesteppedquietlyforward,andopenedthedoor.Eleanor,andonlyEleanor,stoodthere.
Catherine’sspirits,however,weretranquillizedbutforaninstant,forEleanor’scheekswerepale,andhermannergreatlyagitated.
Thoughevidentlyintendingtocomein,itseemedanefforttoentertheroom,andastillgreatertospeakwhenthere.
Catherine,supposingsomeuneasinessonCaptainTilney’saccount,couldonlyexpressherconcernbysilentattention,obligedhertobeseated,rubbedhertempleswithlavender–water,andhungoverherwithaffectionatesolicitude.
“MydearCatherine,youmustnot—youmustnotindeed—“wereEleanor’sfirstconnectedwords.“Iamquitewell.
Thiskindnessdistractsme—Icannotbearit—Icometoyouonsuchanerrand!”
“Errand!Tome!”
“HowshallItellyou!Oh!HowshallItellyou!”
AnewideanowdartedintoCatherine’smind,andturningaspaleasherfriend,sheexclaimed,“’TisamessengerfromWoodston!”
“Youaremistaken,indeed,”returnedEleanor,lookingathermostcompassionately;“itisnoonefromWoodston.Itismyfatherhimself.”
Hervoicefaltered,andhereyeswereturnedtothegroundasshementionedhisname.
Hisunlooked–forreturnwasenoughinitselftomakeCatherine’sheartsink,andforafewmomentsshehardlysupposedtherewereanythingworsetobetold.
Shesaidnothing;andEleanor,endeavouringtocollectherselfandspeakwithfirmness,butwitheyesstillcastdown,soonwenton.
“Youaretoogood,Iamsure,tothinktheworseofmeforthepartIamobligedtoperform.Iamindeedamostunwillingmessenger.
Afterwhathassolatelypassed,solatelybeensettledbetweenus—howjoyfully,howthankfullyonmyside!
—astoyourcontinuinghereasIhopedformany,manyweekslonger,howcanItellyouthatyourkindnessisnottobeaccepted—andthatthehappinessyourcompanyhashithertogivenusistoberepaidby—ButImustnottrustmyselfwithwords.MydearCatherine,wearetopart.
MyfatherhasrecollectedanengagementthattakesourwholefamilyawayonMonday.
WearegoingtoLordLongtown’s,nearHereford,forafortnight.
Explanationandapologyareequallyimpossible.Icannotattempteither.”
“MydearEleanor,”criedCatherine,suppressingherfeelingsaswellasshecould,“donotbesodistressed.
Asecondengagementmustgivewaytoafirst.
Iamvery,verysorrywearetopart—sosoon,andsosuddenlytoo;butIamnotoffended,indeedIamnot.
Icanfinishmyvisithere,youknow,atanytime;orIhopeyouwillcometome.
Canyou,whenyoureturnfromthislord’s,cometoFullerton?”
“Itwillnotbeinmypower,Catherine.”
“Comewhenyoucan,then.”
Eleanormadenoanswer;andCatherine’sthoughtsrecurringtosomethingmoredirectlyinteresting,sheadded,thinkingaloud,“Monday—sosoonasMonday;andyouallgo.
Well,Iamcertainof—Ishallbeabletotakeleave,however.
Ineednotgotilljustbeforeyoudo,youknow.
Donotbedistressed,Eleanor,IcangoonMondayverywell.
Myfatherandmother’shavingnonoticeofitisofverylittleconsequence.
Thegeneralwillsendaservantwithme,Idaresay,halftheway—andthenIshallsoonbeatSalisbury,andthenIamonlyninemilesfromhome.”
“Ah,Catherine!Wereitsettledso,itwouldbesomewhatlessintolerable,thoughinsuchcommonattentionsyouwouldhavereceivedbuthalfwhatyouought.But—howcanItellyou?
—tomorrowmorningisfixedforyourleavingus,andnoteventhehourislefttoyourchoice;theverycarriageisordered,andwillbehereatseveno’clock,andnoservantwillbeofferedyou.”
Catherinesatdown,breathlessandspeechless.
“Icouldhardlybelievemysenses,whenIheardit;andnodispleasure,noresentmentthatyoucanfeelatthismoment,howeverjustlygreat,canbemorethanImyself—butImustnottalkofwhatIfelt.Oh!
ThatIcouldsuggestanythinginextenuation!GoodGod!Whatwillyourfatherandmothersay!
Aftercourtingyoufromtheprotectionofrealfriendstothis—almostdoubledistancefromyourhome,tohaveyoudrivenoutofthehouse,withouttheconsiderationsevenofdecentcivility!
Dear,dearCatherine,inbeingthebearerofsuchamessage,Iseemguiltymyselfofallitsinsult;yet,Itrustyouwillacquitme,foryoumusthavebeenlongenoughinthishousetoseethatIambutanominalmistressofit,thatmyrealpowerisnothing.”
“HaveIoffendedthegeneral?”saidCatherineinafalteringvoice.
“Alas!Formyfeelingsasadaughter,allthatIknow,allthatIanswerfor,isthatyoucanhavegivenhimnojustcauseofoffence.
Hecertainlyisgreatly,verygreatlydiscomposed;Ihaveseldomseenhimmoreso.
Histemperisnothappy,andsomethinghasnowoccurredtoruffleitinanuncommondegree;somedisappointment,somevexation,whichjustatthismomentseemsimportant,butwhichIcanhardlysupposeyoutohaveanyconcernin,forhowisitpossible?”
ItwaswithpainthatCatherinecouldspeakatall;anditwasonlyforEleanor’ssakethatsheattemptedit.
“Iamsure,”saidshe,“IamverysorryifIhaveoffendedhim.
ItwasthelastthingIwouldwillinglyhavedone.Butdonotbeunhappy,Eleanor.Anengagement,youknow,mustbekept.
Iamonlysorryitwasnotrecollectedsooner,thatImighthavewrittenhome.Butitisofverylittleconsequence.”
“Ihope,Iearnestlyhope,thattoyourrealsafetyitwillbeofnone;buttoeverythingelseitisofthegreatestconsequence:tocomfort,appearance,propriety,toyourfamily,totheworld.
Wereyourfriends,theAllens,stillinBath,youmightgotothemwithcomparativeease;afewhourswouldtakeyouthere;butajourneyofseventymiles,tobetakenpostbyyou,atyourage,alone,unattended!”
“Oh,thejourneyisnothing.Donotthinkaboutthat.
Andifwearetopart,afewhourssoonerorlater,youknow,makesnodifference.Icanbereadybyseven.Letmebecalledintime.”
Eleanorsawthatshewishedtobealone;andbelievingitbetterforeachthattheyshouldavoidanyfurtherconversation,nowleftherwith,“Ishallseeyouinthemorning.”
Catherine’sswellingheartneededrelief.
InEleanor’spresencefriendshipandpridehadequallyrestrainedhertears,butnosoonerwasshegonethantheyburstforthintorrents.
Turnedfromthehouse,andinsuchaway!
Withoutanyreasonthatcouldjustify,anyapologythatcouldatonefortheabruptness,therudeness,nay,theinsolenceofit.
Henryatadistance—notableeventobidhimfarewell.
Everyhope,everyexpectationfromhimsuspended,atleast,andwhocouldsayhowlong?
Whocouldsaywhentheymightmeetagain?
AndallthisbysuchamanasGeneralTilney,sopolite,sowellbred,andheretoforesoparticularlyfondofher!
Itwasasincomprehensibleasitwasmortifyingandgrievous.
Fromwhatitcouldarise,andwhereitwouldend,wereconsiderationsofequalperplexityandalarm.
Themannerinwhichitwasdonesogrosslyuncivil,hurryingherawaywithoutanyreferencetoherownconvenience,orallowinghereventheappearanceofchoiceastothetimeormodeofhertravelling;oftwodays,theearliestfixedon,andofthatalmosttheearliesthour,asifresolvedtohavehergonebeforehewasstirringinthemorning,thathemightnotbeobligedeventoseeher.
Whatcouldallthismeanbutanintentionalaffront?
Bysomemeansorothershemusthavehadthemisfortunetooffendhim.
Eleanorhadwishedtospareherfromsopainfulanotion,butCatherinecouldnotbelieveitpossiblethatanyinjuryoranymisfortunecouldprovokesuchillwillagainstapersonnotconnected,or,atleast,notsupposedtobeconnectedwithit.
Heavilypassedthenight.Sleep,orreposethatdeservedthenameofsleep,wasoutofthequestion.
Thatroom,inwhichherdisturbedimaginationhadtormentedheronherfirstarrival,wasagainthesceneofagitatedspiritsandunquietslumbers.
Yethowdifferentnowthesourceofherinquietudefromwhatithadbeenthen—howmournfullysuperiorinrealityandsubstance!
Heranxietyhadfoundationinfact,herfearsinprobability;andwithamindsooccupiedinthecontemplationofactualandnaturalevil,thesolitudeofhersituation,thedarknessofherchamber,theantiquityofthebuilding,werefeltandconsideredwithoutthesmallestemotion;andthoughthewindwashigh,andoftenproducedstrangeandsuddennoisesthroughoutthehouse,shehearditallasshelayawake,hourafterhour,withoutcuriosityorterror.
SoonaftersixEleanorenteredherroom,eagertoshowattentionorgiveassistancewhereitwaspossible;butverylittleremainedtobedone.
Catherinehadnotloitered;shewasalmostdressed,andherpackingalmostfinished.
Thepossibilityofsomeconciliatorymessagefromthegeneraloccurredtoherashisdaughterappeared.
Whatsonatural,asthatangershouldpassawayandrepentancesucceedit?
Andsheonlywantedtoknowhowfar,afterwhathadpassed,anapologymightproperlybereceivedbyher.
Buttheknowledgewouldhavebeenuselesshere;itwasnotcalledfor;neitherclemencynordignitywasputtothetrial—Eleanorbroughtnomessage.
Verylittlepassedbetweenthemonmeeting;eachfoundhergreatestsafetyinsilence,andfewandtrivialwerethesentencesexchangedwhiletheyremainedupstairs,Catherineinbusyagitationcompletingherdress,andEleanorwithmoregoodwillthanexperienceintentuponfillingthetrunk.
Wheneverythingwasdonetheylefttheroom,Catherinelingeringonlyhalfaminutebehindherfriendtothrowapartingglanceoneverywell–known,cherishedobject,andwentdowntothebreakfast–parlour,wherebreakfastwasprepared.
Shetriedtoeat,aswelltosaveherselffromthepainofbeingurgedastomakeherfriendcomfortable;butshehadnoappetite,andcouldnotswallowmanymouthfuls.
Thecontrastbetweenthisandherlastbreakfastinthatroomgaveherfreshmisery,andstrengthenedherdistasteforeverythingbeforeher.
Itwasnotfourandtwentyhoursagosincetheyhadmettheretothesamerepast,butincircumstanceshowdifferent!
Withwhatcheerfulease,whathappy,thoughfalse,security,hadshethenlookedaroundher,enjoyingeverythingpresent,andfearinglittleinfuture,beyondHenry’sgoingtoWoodstonforaday!Happy,happybreakfast!
ForHenryhadbeenthere;Henryhadsatbyherandhelpedher.
Thesereflectionswerelongindulgedundisturbedbyanyaddressfromhercompanion,whosatasdeepinthoughtasherself;andtheappearanceofthecarriagewasthefirstthingtostartleandrecallthemtothepresentmoment.
Catherine’scolourroseatthesightofit;andtheindignitywithwhichshewastreated,strikingatthatinstantonhermindwithpeculiarforce,madeherforashorttimesensibleonlyofresentment.
Eleanorseemednowimpelledintoresolutionandspeech.
“Youmustwritetome,Catherine,”shecried;“youmustletmehearfromyouassoonaspossible.
TillIknowyoutobesafeathome,Ishallnothaveanhour’scomfort.
Foroneletter,atallrisks,allhazards,Imustentreat.
LetmehavethesatisfactionofknowingthatyouaresafeatFullerton,andhavefoundyourfamilywell,andthen,tillIcanaskforyourcorrespondenceasIoughttodo,Iwillnotexpectmore.
DirecttomeatLordLongtown’s,and,Imustaskit,undercovertoAlice.”
“No,Eleanor,ifyouarenotallowedtoreceivealetterfromme,IamsureIhadbetternotwrite.Therecanbenodoubtofmygettinghomesafe.”
Eleanoronlyreplied,“Icannotwonderatyourfeelings.Iwillnotimportuneyou.
IwilltrusttoyourownkindnessofheartwhenIamatadistancefromyou.”
Butthis,withthelookofsorrowaccompanyingit,wasenoughtomeltCatherine’sprideinamoment,andsheinstantlysaid,“Oh,Eleanor,Iwillwritetoyouindeed.”
TherewasyetanotherpointwhichMissTilneywasanxioustosettle,thoughsomewhatembarrassedinspeakingof.
Ithadoccurredtoherthataftersolonganabsencefromhome,Catherinemightnotbeprovidedwithmoneyenoughfortheexpensesofherjourney,and,uponsuggestingittoherwithmostaffectionateoffersofaccommodation,itprovedtobeexactlythecase.
Catherinehadneverthoughtonthesubjecttillthatmoment,but,uponexaminingherpurse,wasconvincedthatbutforthiskindnessofherfriend,shemighthavebeenturnedfromthehousewithouteventhemeansofgettinghome;andthedistressinwhichshemusthavebeentherebyinvolvedfillingthemindsofboth,scarcelyanotherwordwassaidbyeitherduringthetimeoftheirremainingtogether.
Short,however,wasthattime.
Thecarriagewassoonannouncedtobeready;andCatherine,instantlyrising,alongandaffectionateembracesuppliedtheplaceoflanguageinbiddingeachotheradieu;and,astheyenteredthehall,unabletoleavethehousewithoutsomementionofonewhosenamehadnotyetbeenspokenbyeither,shepausedamoment,andwithquiveringlipsjustmadeitintelligiblethatsheleft“herkindremembranceforherabsentfriend.”
Butwiththisapproachtohisnameendedallpossibilityofrestrainingherfeelings;and,hidingherfaceaswellasshecouldwithherhandkerchief,shedartedacrossthehall,jumpedintothechaise,andinamomentwasdrivenfromthedoor.
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