English
Withamindthusfullofhappiness,Catherinewashardlyawarethattwoorthreedayshadpassedaway,withoutherseeingIsabellaformorethanafewminutestogether.
Shebeganfirsttobesensibleofthis,andtosighforherconversation,asshewalkedalongthepump–roomonemorning,byMrs.Allen’sside,withoutanythingtosayortohear;andscarcelyhadshefeltafiveminutes’longingoffriendship,beforetheobjectofitappeared,andinvitinghertoasecretconference,ledthewaytoaseat.
“Thisismyfavouriteplace,”saidsheastheysatdownonabenchbetweenthedoors,whichcommandedatolerableviewofeverybodyenteringateither;“itissooutoftheway.”
Catherine,observingthatIsabella’seyeswerecontinuallybenttowardsonedoorortheother,asineagerexpectation,andrememberinghowoftenshehadbeenfalselyaccusedofbeingarch,thoughtthepresentafineopportunityforbeingreallyso;andthereforegailysaid,“Donotbeuneasy,Isabella,Jameswillsoonbehere.”
“Psha!Mydearcreature,”shereplied,“donotthinkmesuchasimpletonastobealwayswantingtoconfinehimtomyelbow.
Itwouldbehideoustobealwaystogether;weshouldbethejestoftheplace.AndsoyouaregoingtoNorthanger!Iamamazinglygladofit.
ItisoneofthefinestoldplacesinEngland,Iunderstand.
Ishalldependuponamostparticulardescriptionofit.”
“Youshallcertainlyhavethebestinmypowertogive.Butwhoareyoulookingfor?Areyoursisterscoming?”
“Iamnotlookingforanybody.One’seyesmustbesomewhere,andyouknowwhatafoolishtrickIhaveoffixingmine,whenmythoughtsareanhundredmilesoff.
Iamamazinglyabsent;IbelieveIamthemostabsentcreatureintheworld.
Tilneysaysitisalwaysthecasewithmindsofacertainstamp.”
“ButIthought,Isabella,youhadsomethinginparticulartotellme?”
“Oh!Yes,andsoIhave.ButhereisaproofofwhatIwassaying.Mypoorhead,Ihadquiteforgotit.Well,thethingisthis:IhavejusthadaletterfromJohn;youcanguessthecontents.”
“No,indeed,Icannot.”
“Mysweetlove,donotbesoabominablyaffected.Whatcanhewriteabout,butyourself?Youknowheisoverheadandearsinlovewithyou.”
“Withme,dearIsabella!”
“Nay,mysweetestCatherine,thisisbeingquiteabsurd!
Modesty,andallthat,isverywellinitsway,butreallyalittlecommonhonestyissometimesquiteasbecoming.
Ihavenoideaofbeingsooverstrained!Itisfishingforcompliments.
Hisattentionsweresuchasachildmusthavenoticed.
AnditwasbuthalfanhourbeforeheleftBaththatyougavehimthemostpositiveencouragement.
Hesayssointhisletter,saysthatheasgoodasmadeyouanoffer,andthatyoureceivedhisadvancesinthekindestway;andnowhewantsmetourgehissuit,andsayallmannerofprettythingstoyou.Soitisinvaintoaffectignorance.”
Catherine,withalltheearnestnessoftruth,expressedherastonishmentatsuchacharge,protestingherinnocenceofeverythoughtofMr.Thorpe’sbeinginlovewithher,andtheconsequentimpossibilityofherhavingeverintendedtoencouragehim.
“Astoanyattentionsonhisside,Idodeclare,uponmyhonour,Ineverwassensibleofthemforamoment—exceptjusthisaskingmetodancethefirstdayofhiscoming.
Andastomakingmeanoffer,oranythinglikeit,theremustbesomeunaccountablemistake.
Icouldnothavemisunderstoodathingofthatkind,youknow!
And,asIeverwishtobebelieved,Isolemnlyprotestthatnosyllableofsuchanatureeverpassedbetweenus.Thelasthalfhourbeforehewentaway!
Itmustbeallandcompletelyamistake—forIdidnotseehimoncethatwholemorning.”
“Butthatyoucertainlydid,foryouspentthewholemorninginEdgar’sBuildings—itwasthedayyourfather’sconsentcame—andIamprettysurethatyouandJohnwerealoneintheparloursometimebeforeyouleftthehouse.”
“Areyou?Well,ifyousayit,itwasso,Idaresay—butforthelifeofme,Icannotrecollectit.
Idoremembernowbeingwithyou,andseeinghimaswellastherest—butthatwewereeveraloneforfiveminutes—However,itisnotwortharguingabout,forwhatevermightpassonhisside,youmustbeconvinced,bymyhavingnorecollectionofit,thatIneverthought,norexpected,norwishedforanythingofthekindfromhim.
Iamexcessivelyconcernedthatheshouldhaveanyregardforme—butindeedithasbeenquiteunintentionalonmyside;Ineverhadthesmallestideaofit.
Prayundeceivehimassoonasyoucan,andtellhimIbeghispardon—thatis—IdonotknowwhatIoughttosay—butmakehimunderstandwhatImean,intheproperestway.
Iwouldnotspeakdisrespectfullyofabrotherofyours,Isabella,Iamsure;butyouknowverywellthatifIcouldthinkofonemanmorethananother—heisnottheperson.”Isabellawassilent.
“Mydearfriend,youmustnotbeangrywithme.
Icannotsupposeyourbrothercaressoverymuchaboutme.
And,youknow,weshallstillbesisters.”
“Yes,yes”(withablush),“therearemorewaysthanoneofourbeingsisters.ButwhereamIwanderingto?
Well,mydearCatherine,thecaseseemstobethatyouaredeterminedagainstpoorJohn—isnotitso?”
“Icertainlycannotreturnhisaffection,andascertainlynevermeanttoencourageit.”
“Sincethatisthecase,IamsureIshallnotteaseyouanyfurther.
Johndesiredmetospeaktoyouonthesubject,andthereforeIhave.
ButIconfess,assoonasIreadhisletter,Ithoughtitaveryfoolish,imprudentbusiness,andnotlikelytopromotethegoodofeither;forwhatwereyoutoliveupon,supposingyoucametogether?
Youhavebothofyousomething,tobesure,butitisnotatriflethatwillsupportafamilynowadays;andafterallthatromancersmaysay,thereisnodoingwithoutmoney.
IonlywonderJohncouldthinkofit;hecouldnothavereceivedmylast.”
“Youdoacquitme,then,ofanythingwrong?—YouareconvincedthatInevermeanttodeceiveyourbrother,neversuspectedhimoflikingmetillthismoment?”
“Oh!Astothat,”answeredIsabellalaughingly,“Idonotpretendtodeterminewhatyourthoughtsanddesignsintimepastmayhavebeen.Allthatisbestknowntoyourself.
Alittleharmlessflirtationorsowilloccur,andoneisoftendrawnontogivemoreencouragementthanonewishestostandby.
ButyoumaybeassuredthatIamthelastpersonintheworldtojudgeyouseverely.
Allthosethingsshouldbeallowedforinyouthandhighspirits.
Whatonemeansoneday,youknow,onemaynotmeanthenext.Circumstanceschange,opinionsalter.”
“Butmyopinionofyourbrotherneverdidalter;itwasalwaysthesame.Youaredescribingwhatneverhappened.”
“MydearestCatherine,”continuedtheotherwithoutatalllisteningtoher,“Iwouldnotforalltheworldbethemeansofhurryingyouintoanengagementbeforeyouknewwhatyouwereabout.
Idonotthinkanythingwouldjustifymeinwishingyoutosacrificeallyourhappinessmerelytoobligemybrother,becauseheismybrother,andwhoperhapsafterall,youknow,mightbejustashappywithoutyou,forpeopleseldomknowwhattheywouldbeat,youngmenespecially,theyaresoamazinglychangeableandinconstant.
WhatIsayis,whyshouldabrother’shappinessbedearertomethanafriend’s?
YouknowIcarrymynotionsoffriendshipprettyhigh.
But,aboveallthings,mydearCatherine,donotbeinahurry.
Takemywordforit,thatifyouareintoogreatahurry,youwillcertainlylivetorepentit.
Tilneysaysthereisnothingpeoplearesooftendeceivedinasthestateoftheirownaffections,andIbelieveheisveryright.Ah!
Herehecomes;nevermind,hewillnotseeus,Iamsure.”
Catherine,lookingup,perceivedCaptainTilney;andIsabella,earnestlyfixinghereyeonhimasshespoke,sooncaughthisnotice.
Heapproachedimmediately,andtooktheseattowhichhermovementsinvitedhim.HisfirstaddressmadeCatherinestart.
Thoughspokenlow,shecoulddistinguish,“What!
Alwaystobewatched,inpersonorbyproxy!”
“Psha,nonsense!”wasIsabella’sanswerinthesamehalfwhisper.“Whydoyouputsuchthingsintomyhead?IfIcouldbelieveit—myspirit,youknow,isprettyindependent.”
“Iwishyourheartwereindependent.Thatwouldbeenoughforme.”
“Myheart,indeed!Whatcanyouhavetodowithhearts?Youmenhavenoneofyouanyhearts.”
“Ifwehavenothearts,wehaveeyes;andtheygiveustormentenough.”
“Dothey?Iamsorryforit;Iamsorrytheyfindanythingsodisagreeableinme.Iwilllookanotherway.Ihopethispleasesyou”(turningherbackonhim);“Ihopeyoureyesarenottormentednow.”
“Nevermoreso;fortheedgeofabloomingcheekisstillinview—atoncetoomuchandtoolittle.”
Catherineheardallthis,andquiteoutofcountenance,couldlistennolonger.
AmazedthatIsabellacouldendureit,andjealousforherbrother,sheroseup,andsayingsheshouldjoinMrs.Allen,proposedtheirwalking.
ButforthisIsabellashowednoinclination.
Shewassoamazinglytired,anditwassoodioustoparadeaboutthepump–room;andifshemovedfromherseatsheshouldmisshersisters;shewasexpectinghersisterseverymoment;sothatherdearestCatherinemustexcuseher,andmustsitquietlydownagain.
ButCatherinecouldbestubborntoo;andMrs.Allenjustthencominguptoproposetheirreturninghome,shejoinedherandwalkedoutofthepump–room,leavingIsabellastillsittingwithCaptainTilney.
Withmuchuneasinessdidshethusleavethem.
ItseemedtoherthatCaptainTilneywasfallinginlovewithIsabella,andIsabellaunconsciouslyencouraginghim;unconsciouslyitmustbe,forIsabella’sattachmenttoJameswasascertainandwellacknowledgedasherengagement.
Todoubthertruthorgoodintentionswasimpossible;andyet,duringthewholeoftheirconversationhermannerhadbeenodd.
ShewishedIsabellahadtalkedmorelikeherusualself,andnotsomuchaboutmoney,andhadnotlookedsowellpleasedatthesightofCaptainTilney.
Howstrangethatsheshouldnotperceivehisadmiration!
Catherinelongedtogiveherahintofit,toputheronherguard,andpreventallthepainwhichhertoolivelybehaviourmightotherwisecreatebothforhimandherbrother.
ThecomplimentofJohnThorpe’saffectiondidnotmakeamendsforthisthoughtlessnessinhissister.
Shewasalmostasfarfrombelievingasfromwishingittobesincere;forshehadnotforgottenthathecouldmistake,andhisassertionoftheofferandofherencouragementconvincedherthathismistakescouldsometimesbeveryegregious.
Invanity,therefore,shegainedbutlittle;herchiefprofitwasinwonder.
Thatheshouldthinkitworthhiswhiletofancyhimselfinlovewithherwasamatteroflivelyastonishment.
Isabellatalkedofhisattentions;shehadneverbeensensibleofany;butIsabellahadsaidmanythingswhichshehopedhadbeenspokeninhaste,andwouldneverbesaidagain;anduponthisshewasgladtorestaltogetherforpresenteaseandcomfort.
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