ShewassilentwhenVidaravedthatthoughAmericahatedwarasmuchasever,wemustinvadeGermanyandwipeouteveryman,becauseitwasnowproventhattherewasnosoldierintheGermanarmywhowasnotcrucifyingprisonersandcuttingoffbabies'hands.
InherfuneralprocessionweretheelevenpeopleleftoutoftheGrandArmyandtheTerritorialPioneers,oldmenandwomen,veryoldandweak,whoafewdecadesagohadbeenboysandgirlsofthefrontier,ridingbroncosthroughtherankwindygrassofthisprairie.
Theyhobbledbehindabandmadeupofbusinessmenandhigh–schoolboys,whostraggledalongwithoutuniformsorranksorleader,tryingtoplayChopin'sFuneralMarch—ashabbygroupofneighborswithgraveeyes,stumblingthroughtheslushunderasolemnityoffalteringmusic.
Farmerscominginwithsled–loadsofwheatcomplainedthatChampcouldnotreadthescale,thatheseemedalwaystobewatchingsomeonebackinthedarknessofthebins.
Hewasseenslippingthroughalleys,talkingtohimself,tryingtoavoidobservation,creepingatlasttothecemetery.
OnceCarolfollowedhimandfoundthecoarse,tobacco–stained,unimaginativeoldmanlyingonthesnowofthegrave,histhickarmsspreadoutacrosstherawmoundasiftoprotectherfromthecold,herwhomhehadcarefullycoveredupeverynightforsixtyyears,whowasalonetherenow,uncaredfor.
Theelevatorcompany,EzraStowbodypresident,lethimgo.Thecompany,EzraexplainedtoCarol,hadnofundsforgivingpensions.
Shetriedtohavehimappointedtothepostmastership,which,sincealltheworkwasdonebyassistants,wastheonesinecureintown,theonerewardforpoliticalpurity.
AthersolicitationLymanCassgaveChampawarmberthasnightwatchman.SmallboysplayedagoodmanytricksonChampwhenhefellasleepatthemill.
Hewaswell,butstillweakfromhavingbeengassed;hehadbeendischargedandhecamehomeasthefirstofthewarveterans.
ItwasrumoredthathesurprisedVidabycomingunannounced,thatVidafaintedwhenshesawhim,andforanightanddaywouldnotsharehimwiththetown.
WhenCarolsawthemVidawashazyabouteverythingexceptRaymie,andneverwentsofarfromhimthatshecouldnotslipherhandunderhis.
AndRaymie—surelythiswasnotRaymie,butasternerbrotherofhis,thismanwiththetightblouse,theshoulderemblems,thetrimlegsinboots.
HewasnotRaymie;hewasMajorWutherspoon;andKennicottandCarolweregratefulwhenhedivulgedthatPariswasn'thalfasprettyasMinneapolis,thatalloftheAmericansoldiershadbeendistinguishedbytheirmoralitywhenonleave.
KennicottwasrespectfulasheinquiredwhethertheGermanshadgoodaeroplanes,andwhatasalientwas,andacootie,andGoingWest.
HarryHaydockwasgoingtodevotehimselftothehalf–dozenbranchstoreswhichhewasestablishingatcrossroadshamlets.
Harrywouldbethetown'srichmaninthecominggeneration,andMajorWutherspoonwouldrisewithhim,andVidawasjubilant,thoughshewasregretfulathavingtogiveupmostofherRedCrosswork.
WhenCarolsawhimwithhisuniformoff,inapepper–andsaltsuitandanewgrayfelthat,shewasdisappointed.HewasnotMajorWutherspoon;hewasRaymie.
Foramonthsmallboysfollowedhimdownthestreet,andeverybodycalledhimMajor,butthatwaspresentlyshortenedtoMaje,andthesmallboysdidnotlookupfromtheirmarblesashewentby.
Butwhoeverboughtorsoldormortgaged,thetownsmeninvitedthemselvestothefeast—millers,real–estatemen,lawyers,merchants,andDr.WillKennicott.
InthreemonthsKennicottmadeseventhousanddollars,whichwasrathermorethanfourtimesasmuchassocietypaidhimforhealingthesick.
TheCommercialClubdecidedthatGopherPrairiewasnotonlyawheat–centerbutalsotheperfectsiteforfactories,summercottages,andstateinstitutions.
InchargeofthecampaignwasMr.JamesBlausser,whohadrecentlycometotowntospeculateinland.Mr.BlausserwasknownasaHustler.HelikedtobecalledHonestJim.
Hewasabulky,gauche,noisy,humorousman,withnarroweyes,arusticcomplexion,largeredhands,andbrilliantclothes.Hewasattentivetoallwomen.
HeputhisarmabouthershoulderwhilehecondescendedtoKennicott,"Nicelilwifey,I'llsay,doc,"andwhensheanswered,notwarmly,"Thankyouverymuchfortheimprimatur,"heblewonherneck,anddidnotknowthathehadbeeninsulted.
Shespokeillofhimathomeandinpublicplaces,butKennicottandtheotherpowersinsisted,"Maybeheiskindofaroughneck,butyougottohandittohim;he'sgotmoregit–up–and–gitthananyfellowthateverhitthisburg.Andhe'sprettycute,too.HearwhathesaidtooldEzra?
HewastheguestofhonorattheCommercialClubBanquetattheMinniemashieHouse,anoccasionformenusprintedingold(butinjudiciouslyproof–read),forfreecigars,softdampslabsofLakeSuperiorwhitefishservedasfilletofsole,drenchedcigar–ashesgraduallyfillingthesaucersofcoffeecups,andoratoricalreferencestoPep,Punch,Go,Vigor,Enterprise,RedBlood,He–Men,FairWomen,God'sCountry,JamesJ.Hill,theBlueSky,theGreenFields,theBountifulHarvest,IncreasingPopulation,FairReturnonInvestments,AlienAgitatorsWhoThreatentheSecurityofOurInstitutions,theHearthstonetheFoundationoftheState,SenatorKnuteNelson,OneHundredPerCent.
"AndIamproudtosay,myfellowcitizens,thatinhisbriefstayhereMr.Blausserhasbecomemywarmpersonalfriendaswellasmyfellowbooster,andIadviseyoualltoverycarefullyattendtothehintsofamanwhoknowshowtoachieve."
Mr.Blausserreareduplikeanelephantwithacamel'sneck—redfaced,redeyed,heavyfisted,slightlybelching—abornleader,divinelyintendedtobeacongressmanbutdeflectedtothemorelucrativehonorsofreal–estate.
ImetthemeanestkindofcritterthatGodevermade—meanerthanthehornedtoadortheTexaslallapaluza!(Laughter.)Anddoyouknowwhattheanimilewas?Hewasaknocker!(Laughterandapplause.)
"Iwanttotellyougoodpeople,andit'sjustassureasGodmadelittleapples,thethingthatdistinguishesourAmericancommonwealthfromthepikersandtin–hornsinothercountriesisourPunch.
Youtakeagenuwine,honest–to–GodhomoAmericanibusandthereain'tanythinghe'safraidtotackle.Snapandspeedarehismiddlename!
He'llputheracrossifhehastoridefromhelltobreakfast,andbelieveme,I'mmightygoodandsorryfortheboobthat'ssounluckyastogetinhisway,becausethatpoorslobisgoingtowonderwherehewasatwhenOldMr.Cyclonehittown!(Laughter.)
"Now,frien's,there'ssomefolkssoyellowandsmallandsofewinthepodthattheygotoworkandclaimthatthoseofusthathavethebigvisionareoffourtrolleys.
Butlemmetellyourighthereandnowthatthereain'tatownunderthebluecanopyofheaventhat'sgotabetterchancetotakearunningjumpandgoscootingrightupintothetwo–hundred–thousandclassthanlittleoldG.P.!
Andifthere'sanybodythat'sgotsuchcoldkismetsthathe'safraidtotagafterJimBlausserontheBigGoingUp,thenwedon'twanthimhere!
WayIfiggerit,youfolksarejustpatrioticenoughsothatyouain'tgoingtostandforanyguysneeringandknockinghisowntown,nomatterhowmuchofasmartAleckheis—andjustonthesideIwanttoaddthatthisFarmers'NonpartisanLeagueandthewholebunchofsocialistsarerightinthesamecategory,or,asthefellowsays,inthesamescategory,meaningThisWayOut,Exit,BeatItWhiletheGoing'sGood,ThisMeansYou,forallknockersofprosperityandtherightsofproperty!
"Fellowcitizens,there'salotoffolks,evenrighthereinthisfairstate,fairestandrichestofallthegloriousunion,thatstandupontheirhindlegsandclaimthattheEastandEuropeputitalloverthegoldenNorthwestland.
'Ah–ha,'saysthey,'soJimBlausserisclaimingthatGopherPrairieisasgoodaplacetoliveinasLondonandRomeand—andalltherestoftheBigBurgs,ishe?Howdoesthepoorfishknow?'saysthey.WellI'lltellyouhowIknow!I'veseen'em!I'vedoneEuropefromsouptonuts!
London—Ispentthreedays,sixteenstraighthoursaday,givingLondontheonce–over,andletmetellyouthatit'snothingbutabunchoffogandout–of–datebuildingsthatnoliveAmericanburgwouldstandforoneminute.
AndthesamethinggoesforthatcrowdofcrabsandsnobsDownEast,andnexttimeyouhearsomezobfromYahooville–on–the–Hudsonchewingtheragandbullingandtryingtogetyourgoat,youtellhimthatnotwo–fistedenterprisingWesternerwouldhaveNewYorkforagift!
"Nowthepointofthisis:I'mnotonlyinsistingthatGopherPrairieisgoingtobeMinnesota'spride,thebrightestrayinthegloryoftheNorthStarState,butalsoandfurthermorethatitisrightnow,andstillmoreshallbe,asgoodaplacetolivein,andlovein,andbringuptheLittleOnesin,andit'sgotasmuchrefinementandculture,asanyburgonthewholebloomin'expanseofGod'sGreenFootstool,andthatgoes,getme,thatgoes!"
Theamateurbaseball–teamhiredasemi–professionalpitcherfromDesMoines,andmadeascheduleofgameswitheverytownforfiftymilesabout.
Thecitizensaccompanieditas"rooters,"inaspecialcar,withbannerslettered"WatchGopherPrairieGrow,"andwiththebandplaying"Smile,Smile,Smile."
WhethertheteamwonorlosttheDauntlessloyallyshrieked,"Boost,Boys,andBoostTogether—PutGopherPrairieontheMap—BrilliantRecordofOurMatchlessTeam."
Theywerecomposedofornamentedpostswithclustersofhigh–poweredelectriclightsalongtwoorthreeblocksonMainStreet.
TheDauntlessconfessed:"WhiteWayIsInstalled—TownLitUpLikeBroadway—SpeechbyHon.JamesBlausser—ComeOnYouTwinCities—OurHatIsIntheRing."
TheCommercialClubissuedabookletpreparedbyagreatandexpensiveliterarypersonfromaMinneapolisadvertisingagency,ared–headedyoungmanwhosmokedcigarettesinalongamberholder.
ShelearnedthatPloverandMinniemashieLakeswereworld–famedfortheirbeauteouswoodedshoresandgameypikeandbassnottobeequalledelsewhereintheentirecountry;thattheresidencesofGopherPrairieweremodelsofdignity,comfort,andculture,withlawnsandgardensknownfarandwide;thattheGopherPrairieschoolsandpubliclibrary,initsneatandcommodiousbuilding,werecelebratedthroughoutthestate;thattheGopherPrairiemillsmadethebestflourinthecountry;thatthesurroundingfarmlandswererenowned,where'ermenatebreadandbutter,fortheirincomparableNo.1HardWheatandHolstein–Friesiancattle;andthatthestoresinGopherPrairiecomparedfavorablywithMinneapolisandChicagointheirabundanceofluxuriesandnecessitiesandtheever–courteousattentionoftheskilledclerks.
KennicottwastriumphantwhentheCommercialClubdidcaptureonesmallshyfactorywhichplannedtomakewoodenautomobile–wheels,butwhenCarolsawthepromotershecouldnotfeelthathiscomingmuchmattered—andayearafter,whenhefailed,shecouldnotbeverysorrowful.
ButCarolcoulddiscovernomorepicturesnorinterestingfoodnorgraciousvoicesnoramusingconversationnorquestingminds.
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