English
I
ShehadwalkeduptherailroadtrackwithHugh,thisSundayafternoon.
ShesawErikValborgcoming,inanancienthighwatersuit,trampingsullenlyandalone,strikingattherailswithastick.
Forasecondsheunreasoninglywantedtoavoidhim,butshekepton,andsheserenelytalkedaboutGod,whosevoice,Hughasserted,madethehumminginthetelegraphwires.Erikstared,straightened.Theygreetedeachotherwith"Hello."
"Hugh,sayhow–do–you–dotoMr.Valborg."
"Oh,dearme,he'sgotabuttonunbuttoned,"worriedErik,kneeling.Carolfrowned,thennotedthestrengthwithwhichheswungthebabyintheair.
"MayIwalkalongapiecewithyou?"
"I'mtired.Let'srestonthoseties.ThenImustbetrottingback."
Theysatonaheapofdiscardedrailroadties,oaklogsspottedwithcinnamon–coloreddry–rotandmarkedwithmetallicbrownstreakswhereironplateshadrested.
Hughlearnedthatthepilewasthehiding–placeofInjuns;hewentgunningforthemwhiletheelderstalkedofuninterestingthings.
Thetelegraphwiresthrummed,thrummed,thrummedabovethem;therailswereglaringhardlines;thegoldenrodsmelleddusty.
Acrossthetrackwasapastureofdwarfcloverandsparselawncutbyearthycow–paths;beyonditsplacidnarrowgreen,theroughimmensityofnewstubble,jaggedwithwheat–stackslikehugepineapples.
Eriktalkedofbooks;flamedlikearecentconverttoanyfaith.
Heexhibitedasmanytitlesandauthorsaspossible,haltingonlytoappeal,"Haveyoureadhislastbook?
Don'tyouthinkhe'saterriblystrongwriter?"
Shewasdizzy.Butwhenheinsisted,"You'vebeenalibrarian;tellme;doIreadtoomuchfiction?"
sheadvisedhimloftily,ratherdiscursively.Hehad,sheindicated,neverstudied.
Hehadskippedfromoneemotiontoanother.
Especially—shehesitated,thenflungitathim—hemustnotguessatpronunciations;hemustendurethenuisanceofstoppingtoreachforthedictionary.
"I'mtalkinglikeacrankyteacher,"shesighed.
"No!AndIwillstudy!
Readthedamneddictionaryrightthrough."
Hecrossedhislegsandbentover,clutchinghisanklewithbothhands."Iknowwhatyoumean.
I'vebeenrushingfrompicturetopicture,likeakidletlooseinanartgalleryforthefirsttime.
Yousee,it'ssoawfulrecentthatI'vefoundtherewasaworld—well,aworldwherebeautifulthingscounted.IwasonthefarmtillIwasnineteen.Dadisagoodfarmer,butnothingelse.
Doyouknowwhyhefirstsentmeofftolearntailoring?
Iwantedtostudydrawing,andhehadacousinthat'dmadealotofmoneytailoringoutinDakota,andhesaidtailoringwasalotlikedrawing,sohesentmedowntoapunkholecalledCurlew,toworkinatailorshop.
UptothattimeI'donlyhadthreemonths'schoolingayear—walkedtoschooltwomiles,throughsnowuptomyknees—andDadneverwouldstandformyhavingasinglebookexceptschoolbooks.
"IneverreadanoveltillIgot'DorothyVernonofHaddonHall'outofthelibraryatCurlew.
Ithoughtitwastheloveliestthingintheworld!
NextIread'BarriersBurnedAway'andthenPope'stranslationofHomer.Somecombination,allright!
WhenIwenttoMinneapolis,justtwoyearsago,IguessI'dreadprettymucheverythinginthatCurlewlibrary,butI'dneverheardofRossettiorJohnSargentorBalzacorBrahms.But—Yump,I'llstudy.Lookhere!
ShallIgetoutofthistailoring,thispressingandrepairing?"
"Idon'tseewhyasurgeonshouldspendverymuchtimecobblingshoes."
"ButwhatifIfindIcan'treallydrawanddesign?AfterfussingaroundinNewYorkorChicago,I'dfeellikeafoolifIhadtogobacktoworkinagents'furnishingsstore!"
"Pleasesay'haberdashery.'"
"Haberdashery?Allright.I'llremember."Heshruggedandspreadhisfingerswide.
Shewashumbledbyhishumility;sheputawayinhermind,totakeoutandworryoverlater,aspeculationastowhetheritwasnotshewhowasnaive.
Sheurged,"Whatifyoudohavetogoback?Mostofusdo!
Wecan'tallbeartists—myself,forinstance.
Wehavetodarnsocks,andyetwe'renotcontenttothinkofnothingbutsocksanddarning–cotton.
I'ddemandallIcouldget—whetherIfinallysettleddowntodesigningfrocksorbuildingtemplesorpressingpants.Whatifyoudodropback?You'llhavehadtheadventure.Don'tbetoomeektowardlife!Go!You'reyoung,you'reunmarried.Tryeverything!
Don'tlistentoNatHicksandSamClarkandbea'steadyyoungman'—inordertohelpthemmakemoney.You'restillablessedinnocent.
GoandplaytilltheGoodPeoplecaptureyou!"
"ButIdon'tjustwanttoplay.Iwanttomakesomethingbeautiful.God!AndIdon'tknowenough.Doyougetit?Doyouunderstand?Nobodyelseeverhas!Doyouunderstand?"
"Yes."
"Andso—Buthere'swhatbothersme:Ilikefabrics;dinkythingslikethat;littledrawingsandelegantwords.Butlookoverthereatthosefields.Big!New!
Don'titseemkindofashametoleavethisandgobacktotheEastandEurope,anddowhatallthosepeoplehavebeendoingsolong?
Beingcarefulaboutwords,whenthere'smillionsofbushelsoffwheathere!
ReadingthisfellowPater,whenI'vehelpedDadtoclearfields!"
"It'sgoodtoclearfields.Butit'snotforyou.
It'soneofourfavoriteAmericanmythsthatbroadplainsnecessarilymakebroadminds,andhighmountainsmakehighpurpose.
Ithoughtthatmyself,whenIfirstcametotheprairie.'Big—new.'
Oh,Idon'twanttodenytheprairiefuture.Itwillbemagnificent.
ButequallyI'mhangedifIwanttobebulliedbyit,gotowaronbehalfofMainStreet,bebulliedandBULLIEDbythefaiththatthefutureisalreadyhereinthepresent,andthatallofusmuststayandworshipwheat–stacksandinsistthatthisis'God'sCountry'—andnever,ofcourse,doanythingoriginalorgay–coloredthatwouldhelptomakethatfuture!Anyway,youdon'tbelonghere.
SamClarkandNatHicks,that'swhatourbignewnesshasproduced.Go!
Beforeit'stoolate,asithasbeenfor—forsomeofus.
Youngman,goEastandgrowupwiththerevolution!
ThenperhapsyoumaycomebackandtellSamandNatandmewhattodowiththelandwe'vebeenclearing—ifwe'lllisten—ifwedon'tlynchyoufirst!"
Helookedatherreverently.Shecouldhearhimsaying,
"I'vealwayswantedtoknowawomanwhowouldtalktomelikethat."
Herhearingwasfaulty.Hewassayingnothingofthesort.Hewassaying:
"Whyaren'tyouhappywithyourhusband?"
"I—you—"
"Hedoesn'tcareforthe'blessedinnocent'partofyou,doeshe!"
"Erik,youmustn't—"
"Firstyoutellmetogoandbefree,andthenyousaythatI'mustn't'!"
"Iknow.Butyoumustn't—Youmustbemoreimpersonal!"
Hegloweredatherlikeadownyyoungowl.
Shewasn'tsurebutshethoughtthathemuttered,"I'mdamnedifIwill."
Sheconsideredwithwholesomefeartheperilsofmeddlingwithotherpeople'sdestinies,andshesaidtimidly,"Hadn'twebetterstartbacknow?"
Hemused,"You'reyoungerthanIam.Yourlipsareforsongsaboutriversinthemorningandlakesattwilight.Idon'tseehowanybodycouldeverhurtyou....Yes.Webettergo."
Hetrudgedbesideher,hiseyesaverted.Hughexperimentallytookhisthumb.Helookeddownatthebabyseriously.Heburstout,"Allright.I'lldoit.I'llstayhereoneyear.Save.Notspendsomuchmoneyonclothes.AndthenI'llgoEast,toart–school.
Workontheside–tailorshop,dressmaker's.
I'lllearnwhatI'mgoodfor:designingclothes,stage–settings,illustrating,orsellingcollarstofatmen.Allsettled."Hepeeredather,unsmiling.
"Canyoustandithereintownforayear?"
"Withyoutolookat?"
"Please!Imean:Don'tthepeopleherethinkyou'reanoddbird?(Theydome,Iassureyou!)"
"Idon'tknow.Inevernoticemuch.
Oh,theydokidmeaboutnotbeinginthearmy—especiallytheoldwarhorses,theoldmenthataren'tgoingthemselves.AndthisBogartboy.
AndMr.Hicks'sson—he'sahorriblebrat.
Butprobablyhe'slicensedtosaywhathethinksabouthisfather'shiredman!"
"He'sbeastly!"
Theywereintown.TheypassedAuntBessie'shouse.
AuntBessieandMrs.Bogartwereatthewindow,andCarolsawthattheywerestaringsointentlythattheyansweredherwaveonlywiththestifflyraisedhandsofautomatons.
InthenextblockMrs.Dr.Westlakewasgapingfromherporch.Carolsaidwithanembarrassedquaver:
"IwanttoruninandseeMrs.Westlake.I'llsaygood–byhere."
Sheavoidedhiseyes.
Mrs.Westlakewasaffable.Carolfeltthatshewasexpectedtoexplain;andwhileshewasmentallyassertingthatshe'dbehangedifshe'dexplain,shewasexplaining:
"HughcapturedthatValborgboyupthetrack.Theybecamesuchgoodfriends.AndItalkedtohimforawhile.
I'dheardhewaseccentric,butreally,Ifoundhimquiteintelligent.
Crude,buthereads—readsalmostthewayDr.Westlakedoes."
"That'sfine.Whydoeshestickhereintown?What'sthisIhearabouthisbeinginterestedinMyrtleCass?"
"Idon'tknow.Ishe?I'msureheisn't!Hesaidhewasquitelonely!Besides,Myrtleisababeinarms!"
"Twenty–oneifshe'saday!"
"Well—Isthedoctorgoingtodoanyhuntingthisfall?"
II
TheneedofexplainingErikdraggedherbackintodoubting.
Forallhisardentreading,andhisardentlife,washeanythingbutasmall–townyouthbredonanilliberalfarmandincheaptailorshops?Hehadroughhands.
Shehadbeenattractedonlybyhandsthatwerefineandsuave,likethoseofherfather.Delicatehandsandresolutepurpose.
Butthisboy—powerfulseamedhandsandflabbywill.
"It'snotappealingweaknesslikehis,butsanestrengththatwinanimatetheGopherPrairies.Only—Doesthatmeananything?OramIechoingVida?
Theworldhasalwayslet'strong'statesmenandsoldiers—themenwithstrongvoices—takecontrol,andwhathavethethunderingboobiesdone?Whatis'strength'?
"Thisclassifyingofpeople!Isupposetailorsdifferasmuchasburglarsorkings.
"Erikfrightenedmewhenheturnedonme.Ofcoursehedidn'tmeananything,butImustn'tlethimbesopersonal.
"Amazingimpertinence!
"Buthedidn'tmeantobe.
"HishandsareFIRM.Iwonderifsculptorsdon'thavethickhands,too?
"OfcourseiftherereallyisanythingIcandotoHELPtheboy—
"ThoughIdespisethesepeoplewhointerfere.Hemustbeindependent."
III
Shewasn'taltogetherpleased,theweekafter,whenErikwasindependentand,withoutaskingforherinspiration,plannedthetennistournament.
ItprovedthathehadlearnedtoplayinMinneapolis;that,nexttoJuanitaHaydock,hehadthebestserveintown.
TenniswaswellspokenofinGopherPrairieandalmostneverplayed.
Therewerethreecourts:onebelongingtoHarryHaydock,onetothecottagesatthelake,andone,aroughfieldontheoutskirts,laidoutbyadefuncttennisassociation.
Erikhadbeenseeninflannelsandanimitationpanamahat,playingontheabandonedcourtwithWillisWoodford,theclerkinStowbody'sbank.
Suddenlyhewasgoingaboutproposingthereorganizationofthetennisassociation,andwritingnamesinafifteen–centnote–bookboughtforthepurposeatDyer's.
WhenhecametoCarolhewassoexcitedoverbeinganorganizerthathedidnotstoptotalkofhimselfandAubreyBeardsleyformorethantenminutes.
Hebegged,"Willyougetsomeofthefolkstocomein?"andshenoddedagreeably.
Heproposedaninformalexhibitionmatchtoadvertisetheassociation;hesuggestedthatCarolandhimself,theHaydocks,theWoodfords,andtheDillonsplaydoubles,andthattheassociationbeformedfromthegatheredenthusiasts.
HehadaskedHarryHaydocktobetentativepresident.
Harry,hereported,hadpromised,"Allright.Youbet.
Butyougoaheadandarrangethings,andI'llO.K.'em."
ErikplannedthatthematchshouldbeheldSaturdayafternoon,ontheoldpubliccourtattheedgeoftown.
Hewashappyinbeing,forthefirsttime,partofGopherPrairie.
ThroughtheweekCarolheardhowselectanattendancetherewastobe.
Kennicottgrowledthathedidn'tcaretogo.
HadheanyobjectionstoherplayingwithErik?
No;surenot;sheneededtheexercise.Carolwenttothematchearly.
ThecourtwasinameadowoutontheNewAntoniaroad.OnlyErikwasthere.
Hewasdashingaboutwitharake,tryingtomakethecourtsomewhatlesslikeaplowedfield.
Headmittedthathehadstagefrightatthethoughtofthecominghorde.
WillisandMrs.Woodfordarrived,Willisinhome–madeknickersandblacksneakersthroughatthetoe;thenDr.andMrs.HarveyDillon,peopleasharmlessandgratefulastheWoodfords.
Carolwasembarrassedandexcessivelyagreeable,likethebishop'sladytryingnottofeeloutofplaceataBaptistbazaar.
Theywaited.
Thematchwasscheduledforthree.Asspectatorsthereassembledoneyouthfulgroceryclerk,stoppinghisForddeliverywagontostarefromtheseat,andonesolemnsmallboy,tuggingasmallersisterwhohadacarelessnose.
"IwonderwheretheHaydocksare?Theyoughttoshowup,atleast,"saidErik.
Carolsmiledconfidentlyathim,andpeereddowntheemptyroadtowardtown.Onlyheat–wavesanddustanddustyweeds.
Athalf–pastthreenoonehadcome,andthegroceryboyreluctantlygotout,crankedhisFord,glaredattheminadisillusionedmanner,andrattledaway.
Thesmallboyandhissisterategrassandsighed.
Theplayerspretendedtobeexhilaratedbypractisingservice,buttheystartledateachdust–cloudfromamotorcar.
Noneofthecarsturnedintothemeadow–nonetillaquartertofour,whenKennicottdrovein.
Carol'sheartswelled."Howloyalheis!Dependonhim!He'dcome,ifnobodyelsedid.Eventhoughhedoesn'tcareforthegame.Theolddarling!"
Kennicottdidnotalight.Hecalledout,"Carrie!
HarryHaydock'phonedmethatthey'vedecidedtoholdthetennismatches,orwhateveryoucall'em,downatthecottagesatthelake,insteadofhere.
Thebuncharedowntherenow:HaydocksandDyersandClarksandeverybody.
HarrywantedtoknowifI'dbringyoudown.
IguessIcantakethetime—comerightbackaftersupper."
BeforeCarolcouldsumitallup,Erikstammered,"Why,Haydockdidn'tsayanythingtomeaboutthechange.Ofcoursehe'sthepresident,but—"
Kennicottlookedathimheavily,andgrunted,"Idon'tknowathingaboutit....Coming,Carrie?"
"Iamnot!Thematchwastobehere,anditwillbehere!
YoucantellHarryHaydockthathe'sbeastlyrude!"
Sheralliedthefivewhohadbeenleftout,whowouldalwaysbeleftout."Comeon!
We'lltosstoseewhichfourofusplaytheOnlyandOriginalFirstAnnualTennisTournamentofForestHills,DelMonte,andGopherPrairie!"
"Don'tknowasIblameyou,"saidKennicott."Wellhavesupperathomethen?"Hedroveoff.
Shehatedhimforhiscomposure.Hehadruinedherdefiance.ShefeltmuchlesslikeSusanB.Anthonyassheturnedtoherhuddledfollowers.
Mrs.DillonandWillisWoodfordlostthetoss.
Theothersplayedoutthegame,slowly,painfully,stumblingontheroughearth,muffingtheeasiestshots,watchedonlybythesmallboyandhissnivelingsister.
Beyondthecourtstretchedtheeternalstubble–fields.
Thefourmarionettes,awkwardlygoingthroughexercises,insignificantinthehotsweepofcontemptuousland,werenotheroic;theirvoicesdidnotringoutinthescore,butsoundedapologetic;andwhenthegamewasovertheyglancedaboutasthoughtheywerewaitingtobelaughedat.
Theywalkedhome.CaroltookErik'sarm.
Throughherthinlinensleeveshecouldfeelthecrumplywarmthofhisfamiliarbrownjerseycoat.
Sheobservedthattherewerepurpleandredgoldthreadsinterwovenwiththebrown.
Sherememberedthefirsttimeshehadseenit.
Theirtalkwasnothingbutimprovisationsonthetheme:"IneverdidlikethisHaydock.Hejustconsidershisownconvenience."
Aheadofthem,theDillonsandWoodfordsspokeoftheweatherandB.J.Gougerling'snewbungalow.
Noonereferredtotheirtennistournament.
AthergateCarolshookhandsfirmlywithErikandsmiledathim.
Nextmorning,Sundaymorning,whenCarolwasontheporch,theHaydocksdroveup.
"Wedidn'tmeantoberudetoyou,dearie!"imploredJuanita."Iwouldn'thaveyouthinkthatforanything.WeplannedthatWillandyoushouldcomedownandhavesupperatourcottage."
"No.I'msureyoudidn'tmeantobe."Carolwassuper–neighborly."ButIdothinkyououghttoapologizetopoorErikValborg.Hewasterriblyhurt."
"Oh.Valborg.Idon'tcaresomuchwhathethinks,"objectedHarry."He'snothingbutaconceitedbuttinsky.JuanitaandIkindoffiguredhewastryingtorunthistennisthingtoodarnmuchanyway."
"Butyouaskedhimtomakearrangements."
"Iknow,butIdon'tlikehim.GoodLord,youcouldn'thurthisfeelings!
Hedressesuplikeachorusman—and,bygolly,helookslikeone!
—buthe'snothingbutaSwedefarmboy,andtheseforeigners,theyallgothideslikeacoveyofrhinoceroses."
"ButheIShurt!"
"Well—Idon'tsupposeIoughttohavegoneoffhalf–cocked,andnotjolliedhimalong.I'llgivehimacigar.He'll—"
JuanitahadbeenlickingherlipsandstaringatCarol.Sheinterruptedherhusband,"Yes,IdothinkHarryoughttofixitupwithhim.YouLIKEhim,DON'Tyou,Carol??"
OverandthroughCarolranafrightenedcautiousness."Likehim?Ihaven'tan�–dea.Heseemstobeaverydecentyoungman.
Ijustfeltthatwhenhe'dworkedsohardontheplansforthematch,itwasashamenottobenicetohim."
"Maybethere'ssomethingtothat,"mumbledHarry;then,atsightofKennicottcomingroundthecornertuggingtheredgardenhosebyitsbrassnozzle,heroaredinrelief,"Whatd'youthinkyou'retryingtodo,doc?"
WhileKennicottexplainedindetailallthathethoughthewastryingtodo,whileherubbedhischinandgravelystated,"Struckmethegrasswaslookingkindofbrowninpatches—didn'tknowbutwhatI'dgiveitasprinkling,"andwhileHarryagreedthatthiswasanexcellentidea,Juanitamadefriendlynoisesand,behindthegiltscreenofanaffectionatesmile,watchedCarol'sface.
IV
ShewantedtoseeErik.Shewantedsomeonetoplaywith!
Therewasn'tevensodignifiedandsoundanexcuseashavingKennicott'strouserspressed;whensheinspectedthem,allthreepairslookeddiscouraginglyneat.
SheprobablywouldnothaveventuredonithadshenotspiedNatHicksinthepool–parlor,beingwittyoverbottle–pool.Erikwasalone!
Sheflutteredtowardthetailorshop,dashedintoitsslovenlyheatwiththecomicfastidiousnessofahummingbirddippingintoadrytiger–lily.
Itwasaftershehadenteredthatshefoundanexcuse.
Erikwasinthebackroom,cross–leggedonalongtable,sewingavest.Buthelookedasthoughheweredoingthiseccentricthingtoamusehimself.
"Hello.Iwonderifyoucouldn'tplanasports–suitforme?"shesaidbreathlessly.
Hestaredather;heprotested,"No,Iwon't!God!I'mnotgoingtobeatailorwithyou!"
"Why,Erik!"shesaid,likeamildlyshockedmother.
Itoccurredtoherthatshedidnotneedasuit,andthattheordermighthavebeenhardtoexplaintoKennicott.
Heswungdownfromthetable."Iwanttoshowyousomething."
Herummagedintheroll–topdeskonwhichNatHickskeptbills,buttons,calendars,buckles,thread–channeledwax,shotgunshells,samplesofbrocadefor"fancyvests,"fishing–reels,pornographicpost–cards,shredsofbuckramlining.
HepulledoutablurredsheetofBristolboardandanxiouslygaveittoher.Itwasasketchforafrock.
Itwasnotwelldrawn;itwastoofinicking;thepillarsinthebackgroundweregrotesquelysquat.
Butthefrockhadanoriginalback,verylow,withacentraltriangularsectionfromthewaisttoastringofjetbeadsattheneck.
"It'sstunning.ButhowitwouldshockMrs.Clark!"
"Yes,wouldn'tit!"
"Youmustletyourselfgomorewhenyou'redrawing."
"Don'tknowifIcan.I'vestartedkindoflate.Butlisten!WhatdoyouthinkI'vedonethistwoweeks?I'vereadalmostclearthroughaLatingrammar,andabouttwentypagesofCaesar."
"Splendid!Youarelucky.Youhaven'tateachertomakeyouartificial."
"You'remyteacher!"
Therewasadangerousedgeofpersonalitytohisvoice.Shewasoffendedandagitated.
Sheturnedhershoulderonhim,staredthroughthebackwindow,studyingthistypicalcenterofatypicalMainStreetblock,avistahiddenfromcasualstrollers.
Thebacksofthechiefestablishmentsintownsurroundedaquadrangleneglected,dirty,andincomparablydismal.
Fromthefront,Howland&Gould'sgrocerywassmugenough,butattachedtotherearwasalean–toofstormstreakedpinelumberwithasandedtarroof—astaggeringdoubtfulshedbehindwhichwasaheapofashes,splinteredpacking–boxes,shredsofexcelsior,crumpledstraw–board,brokenolive–bottles,rottenfruit,andutterlydisintegratedvegetables:orangecarrotsturningblack,andpotatoeswithulcers.
TherearoftheBonTonStorewasgrimwithblisteredblack–paintedironshutters,underthemapileofonceglossyredshirt–boxes,nowapulpfromrecentrain.
AsseenfromMainStreet,Oleson&McGuire'sMeatMarkethadasanitaryandvirtuousexpressionwithitsnewtilecounter,freshsawdustonthefloor,andahangingvealcutinrosettes.
Butshenowviewedabackroomwithahomemaderefrigeratorofyellowsmearedwithblackgrease.
Amaninanapronspottedwithdrybloodwashoistingoutahardslabofmeat.
BehindBilly'sLunch,thecook,inanapronwhichmustlongagohavebeenwhite,smokedapipeandspatatthepestofstickyflies.
Inthecenteroftheblock,byitself,wasthestableforthethreehorsesofthedrayman,andbesideitapileofmanure.
TherearofEzraStowbody'sbankwaswhitewashed,andbackofitwasaconcretewalkandathree–footsquareofgrass,butthewindowwasbarred,andbehindthebarsshesawWillisWoodfordcrampedoverfiguresinpompousbooks.
Heraisedhishead,jerkilyrubbedhiseyes,andwentbacktotheeternityoffigures.
Thebacksoftheothershopswereanimpressionisticpictureofdirtygrays,drainedbrowns,writhingheapsofrefuse.
"Mineisaback–yardromance—withajourneymantailor!"
Shewassavedfromself–pityasshebegantothinkthroughErik'smind.Sheturnedtohimwithanindignant,"It'sdisgustingthatthisisallyouhavetolookat."
Heconsideredit."Outsidethere?Idon'tnoticemuch.I'mlearningtolookinside.Notawfuleasy!"
"Yes....Imustbehurrying."
Asshewalkedhome—withouthurrying—sherememberedherfathersayingtoaseriousten–year–oldCarol,"Lady,onlyafoolthinkshe'ssuperiortobeautifulbindings,butonlyadouble–distilledfoolreadsnothingbutbindings."
Shewasstartledbythereturnofherfather,startledbyasuddenconvictionthatinthisflaxenboyshehadfoundthegrayreticentjudgewhowasdivinelove,perfectunder–standing.
Shedebatedit,furiouslydeniedit,reaffirmedit,ridiculedit.
Ofonethingshewasunhappilycertain:therewasnothingofthebelovedfatherimageinWillKennicott.
V
Shewonderedwhyshesangsooften,andwhyshefoundsomanypleasantthings—lamplightseenthoughtreesonacoolevening,sunshineonbrownwood,morningsparrows,blackslopingroofsturnedtoplatesofsilverbymoonlight.
Pleasantthings,smallfriendlythings,andpleasantplaces—afieldofgoldenrod,apasturebythecreek—andsuddenlyawealthofpleasantpeople.
VidawaslenienttoCarolatthesurgical–dressingclass;Mrs.DaveDyerflatteredherwithquestionsaboutherhealth,baby,cook,andopinionsonthewar.
Mrs.Dyerseemednottosharethetown'sprejudiceagainstErik.
"He'sanice–lookingfellow;wemusthavehimgoononeofourpicnicssometime."Unexpectedly,DaveDyeralsolikedhim.
Thetight–fistedlittlefarceurhadaconfusedreverenceforanythingthatseemedtohimrefinedorclever.
HeansweredHarryHaydock'ssneers,"That'sallrightnow!
Elizabethmaydollhimselfuptoomuch,buthe'ssmart,anddon'tyouforgetit!
IwasaskingroundtryingtofindoutwherethisUkraineis,anddarnifhedidn'ttellme.
What'sthematterwithhistalkingsopolite?
Hell'sbells,Harry,noharminbeingpolite.
There'ssomeregularhe–menthatarejustaspoliteaswomen,prett'near."
Carolfoundherselfgoingaboutrejoicing,"Howneighborlythetownis!"
Shedrewupwithadismayed"AmIfallinginlovewiththisboy?That'sridiculous!I'mmerelyinterestedinhim.
Iliketothinkofhelpinghimtosucceed."
Butasshedustedtheliving–room,mendedacollar–band,bathedHugh,shewaspicturingherselfandayoungartistanApollonamelessandevasive—buildingahouseintheBerkshiresorinVirginia;exuberantlybuyingachairwithhisfirstcheck;readingpoetrytogether,andfrequentlybeingearnestovervaluablestatisticsaboutlabor;tumblingoutofbedearlyforaSundaywalk,andchattering(whereKennicottwouldhaveyawned)overbreadandbutterbyalake.
Hughwasinherpictures,andheadoredtheyoungartist,whomadecastlesofchairsandrugsforhim.
Beyondtheseplaytimesshesawthe"thingsIcoulddoforErik"—andsheadmittedthatErikdidpartlymakeuptheimageofheraltogetherperfectartist.
InpanicsheinsistedonbeingattentivetoKennicott,whenhewantedtobeleftalonetoreadthenewspaper.
VI
Sheneedednewclothes.Kennicotthadpromised,"We'llhaveagoodtripdowntotheCitiesinthefall,andtakeplentyoftimeforit,andyoucangetyournewglad–ragsthen."
Butassheexaminedherwardrobesheflungherancientblackvelvetfrockonthefloorandraged,"They'redisgraceful.
EverythingIhaveisfallingtopieces."
Therewasanewdressmakerandmilliner,aMrs.Swiftwaite.
Itwassaidthatshewasnotaltogetheranelevatinginfluenceinthewaysheglancedatmen;thatshewouldassoontakeawayalegallyappropriatedhusbandasnot;thatifthereWASanyMr.Swiftwaite,"itcertainlywasstrangethatnobodyseemedtoknowanythingabouthim!"
ButshehadmadeforRitaGouldanorgandyfrockandhattomatchuniversallyadmittedtobe"toocunningforwords,"andthematronswentcautiously,withdartingeyesandexcessivepoliteness,totheroomswhichMrs.SwiftwaitehadtakenintheoldLukeDawsonhouse,onFloralAvenue.
WithnoneofthespiritualpreparationwhichnormallyprecedesthebuyingofnewclothesinGopherPrairie,CarolmarchedintoMrs.Swiftwaite's,anddemanded,"Iwanttoseeahat,andpossiblyablouse."
Inthedingyoldfrontparlorwhichshehadtriedtomakesmartwithapierglass,coversfromfashionmagazines,anemicFrenchprints,Mrs.Swiftwaitemovedsmoothlyamongthedress–dummiesandhat–rests,spokesmoothlyasshetookupasmallblackandredturban.
"Iamsuretheladywillfindthisextremelyattractive."
"It'sdreadfullytabbyandsmall–towny,"thoughtCarol,whileshesoothed,"Idon'tbelieveitquitegoeswithme."
"It'sthechoicestthingIhave,andI'msureyou'llfinditsuitsyoubeautifully.Ithasagreatdealofchic.Pleasetryiton,"saidMrs.Swiftwaite,moresmoothlythanever.
Carolstudiedthewoman.Shewasasimitativeasaglassdiamond.
Shewasthemorerusticinherefforttoappearurban.
Sheworeaseverehigh–collaredblousewitharowofsmallblackbuttons,whichwasbecomingtoherlow–breastedslimneatness,butherskirtwashystericallycheckered,hercheeksweretoohighlyrouged,herlipstoosharplypenciled.
Shewasmagnificentlyaspecimenoftheilliteratedivorceeoffortymadeuptolookthirty,clever,andalluring.
WhileshewastryingonthehatCarolfeltverycondescending.
Shetookitoff,shookherhead,explainedwiththekindsmileforinferiors,"I'mafraiditwon'tdo,thoughit'sunusuallyniceforsosmallatownasthis."
"Butit'sreallyabsolutelyNew–Yorkish."
"Well,it—"
"Yousee,IknowmyNewYorkstyles.IlivedinNewYorkforyears,besidesalmostayearinAkron!"
"Youdid?"Carolwaspolite,andedgedaway,andwenthomeunhappily.
ShewaswonderingwhetherherownairswereaslaughableasMrs.Swiftwaite's.
Sheputontheeye–glasseswhichKennicotthadrecentlygiventoherforreading,andlookedoveragrocerybill.
Shewenthastilyuptoherroom,tohermirror.Shewasinamoodofself–depreciation.
Accuratelyornot,thiswasthepictureshesawinthemirror:
Neatrimlesseye–glasses.Blackhairclumsilytuckedunderamauvestrawhatwhichwouldhavesuitedaspinster.Cheeksclear,bloodless.Thinnose.Gentlemouthandchin.
Amodestvoileblousewithanedgingoflaceattheneck.
Avirginalsweetnessandtimorousness—noflareofgaiety,nosuggestionofcities,music,quicklaughter.
"Ihavebecomeasmall–townwoman.Absolute.Typical.Modestandmoralandsafe.Protectedfromlife.GENTEEL!
TheVillageVirus—thevillagevirtuousness.Myhair—justscrambledtogether.
WhatcanErikseeinthatweddedspinsterthere?Hedoeslikeme!
BecauseI'mtheonlywomanwho'sdecenttohim!Howlongbeforehe'llwakeuptome?
...I'vewakeduptomyself....AmIasoldas—asoldasIam?
"Notreallyold.Becomecareless.Letmyselflooktabby.
"IwanttochuckeverystitchIown.Blackhairandpalecheeks—they'dgowithaSpanishdancer'scostume—rosebehindmyear,scarletmantillaoveroneshoulder,theotherbare."
Sheseizedtherougesponge,daubedhercheeks,scratchedatherlipswiththevermilionpenciluntiltheystung,toreopenhercollar.
Sheposedwithherthinarmsintheattitudeofthefandango.Shedroppedthemsharply.Sheshookherhead."Myheartdoesn'tdance,"shesaid.Sheflushedasshefastenedherblouse.
"AtleastI'mmuchmoregracefulthanFernMullins.Heavens!WhenIcameherefromtheCities,girlsimitatedme.NowI'mtryingtoimitateacitygirl."
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