English
I
"Carrie'sallright.She'sfinicky,butshe'llgetoverit.ButIwishshe'dhurryupaboutit!
Whatshecan'tunderstandisthatafellowpractisingmedicineinasmalltownlikethishasgottocutoutthehighbrowstuff,andnotspendallhistimegoingtoconcertsandshininghisshoes.
(Notbutwhathemightbejustasgoodatalltheseintellectualandartthingsassomeotherfolks,ifhehadthetimeforit!)"
Dr.WillKennicottwasbroodinginhisoffice,duringafreemomenttowardtheendofthesummerafternoon.
Hehuncheddowninhistilteddesk–chair,undidabuttonofhisshirt,glancedatthestatenewsinthebackoftheJournaloftheAmericanMedicalAssociation,droppedthemagazine,leanedbackwithhisrightthumbhookedinthearm–holeofhisvestandhisleftthumbstrokingthebackofhishair.
"Bygolly,she'stakinganawfulbigchance,though.
You'dexpecthertolearnbyandbythatIwon'tbeaparlorlizard.Shesayswetryto'makeherover.'
Well,she'salwaystryingtomakemeover,fromaperfectlygoodM.D.intoadamnpoetwithasocialistnecktie!
She'dhaveafitifsheknewhowmanywomenwouldbewillingtocuddleuptoFriendWillandcomforthim,ifhe'dgive'emthechance!
There'sstillafewdamesthatthinktheoldmanisn'tsodarnunattractive!
I'mgladI'veduckedallthatwoman–gamesinceI'vebeenmarriedbut—BeswitchedifsometimesIdon'tfeeltemptedtoshineuptosomegirlthathassenseenoughtotakelifeasitis;somefrauthatdoesn'twanttotalkLongfellowallthetime,butjustholdmyhandandsay,'Youlookallin,honey.Takeiteasy,anddon'ttrytotalk.'
"Carriethinksshe'ssuchawhaleatanalyzingfolks.Givingthetowntheonce–over.Tellinguswherewegetoff.
Why,she'dsimplyturnuphertoesandcroakifshefoundouthowmuchshedoesn'tknowaboutthehigholdtimesawiseguycouldhaveinthisburgontheQ.T.,ifhewasn'tfaithfultohiswife.ButIam.
Atthat,nomatterwhatfaultsshe'sgot,there'snobodyhere,no,norinMinn'apluseither,that'sasnice–lookingandsquareandbrightasCarrie.
Sheoughttoofbeenanartistorawriteroroneofthosethings.
Butonceshetookashotatlivinghere,sheoughttostickbyit.Pretty—Lordyes.Butcold.
Shesimplydoesn'tknowwhatpassionis.
Shesimplyhasn'tgotaní–deahowharditisforafull–bloodedmantogoonpretendingtobesatisfiedwithjustbeingendured.
Itgetsawfultiresome,havingtofeellikeacriminaljustbecauseI'mnormal.
She'sgettingsoshedoesn'tevencareformykissingher.Well—
"IguessIcanweatherit,sameasIdidearningmywaythroughschoolandgettingstartedinpractise.ButIwonderhowlongIcanstandbeinganoutsiderinmyownhome?"
HesatupattheentranceofMrs.DaveDyer.
Sheslumpedintoachairandgaspedwiththeheat.
Hechuckled,"Well,well,Maud,thisisfine.Where'sthesubscription–list?
WhatcausedoIgetrobbedfor,thistrip?"
"Ihaven'tanysubscription–list,Will.Iwanttoseeyouprofessionally."
"AndyouaChristianScientist?Haveyougiventhatup?Whatnext?NewThoughtorSpiritualism?"
"No,Ihavenotgivenitup!"
"Strikesmeit'skindofaknockonthesisterhood,yourcomingtoseeadoctor!"
"No,itisn't.It'sjustthatmyfaithisn'tstrongenoughyet.Sotherenow!Andbesides,youAREkindofconsoling,Will.Imeanasaman,notjustasadoctor.You'resostrongandplacid."
Hesatontheedgeofhisdesk,coatless,hisvestswingingopenwiththethickgoldlineofhiswatch–chainacrossthegap,hishandsinhistrouserspockets,hisbigarmsbentandeasy.
Asshepurredhecockedaninterestedeye.
MaudDyerwasneurotic,religiocentric,faded;heremotionsweremoist,andherfigurewasunsystematic—splendidthighsandarms,withthickankles,andabodythatwasbulgyinthewrongplaces.
Buthermilkyskinwasdelicious,hereyeswerealive,herchestnuthairshone,andtherewasatenderslopefromherearstotheshadowyplacebelowherjaw.
Withunusualsolicitudeheutteredhisstockphrase,"Well,whatseemstobethematter,Maud?"
"I'vegotsuchabackacheallthetime.I'mafraidtheorganictroublethatyoutreatedmeforiscomingback."
"Anydefinitesignsofit?"
"N–no,butIthinkyou'dbetterexamineme."
"Nope.Don'tbelieveit'snecessary,Maud.Tobehonest,betweenoldfriends,Ithinkyourtroublesaremostlyimaginary.Ican'treallyadviseyoutohaveanexamination."
Sheflushed,lookedoutofthewindow.Hewasconsciousthathisvoicewasnotimpersonalandeven.
Sheturnedquickly."Will,youalwayssaymytroublesareimaginary.Whycan'tyoubescientific?
I'vebeenreadinganarticleaboutthesenewnerve–specialists,andtheyclaimthatlotsof'imaginary'ailments,yes,andlotsofrealpain,too,arewhattheycallpsychoses,andtheyorderachangeinawoman'swayoflivingsoshecangetonahigherplane—"
"Wait!Wait!Whoa–up!Waitnow!
Don'tmixupyourChristianScienceandyourpsychology!They'retwoentirelydifferentfads!You'llbemixinginsocialismnext!
You'reasbadasCarrie,withyour'psychoses.'
Why,GoodLord,Maud,Icouldtalkaboutneurosesandpsychosesandinhibitionsandrepressionsandcomplexesjustaswellasanydamnspecialist,ifIgotpaidforit,ifIwasinthecityandhadthenervetochargethefeesthatthosefellowsdo.
Ifaspecialiststungyouforahundred–dollarconsultation–feeandtoldyoutogotoNewYorktoduckDave'snagging,you'ddoit,tosavethehundreddollars!
Butyouknowme—I'myourneighbor—youseememowingthelawn—youfigureI'mjustapluggeneralpractitioner.
IfIsaid,'GotoNewYork,'Daveandyouwouldlaughyourheadsoffandsay,'LookattheairsWillisputtingon.Whatdoeshethinkheis?'
"Asamatteroffact,you'reright.Youhaveaperfectlywell–developedcaseofrepressionofsexinstinct,anditraisestheoldNedwithyourbody.
WhatyouneedistogetawayfromDaveandtravel,yes,andgotoeverydog–gonekindofNewThoughtandBahaiandSwamiandHooptedoodlemeetingyoucanfind.Iknowit,well'syoudo.ButhowcanIadviseit?
Davewouldbeupheretakingmyhideoff.
I'mwillingtobefamilyphysicianandpriestandlawyerandplumberandwet–nurse,butIdrawthelineatmakingDaveloosenuponmoney.Toohardajobinweatherlikethis!So,savvy,mydear?
Believeitwillrainifthisheatkeeps—"
"But,Will,he'dnevergiveittomeonmysay–so.He'dneverletmegoaway.
YouknowhowDaveis:sojollyandliberalinsociety,andoh,justLOVEStomatchquarters,andsuchaperfectsportifheloses!
Butathomehepinchesanickeltillthebuffalodripsblood.
Ihavetonaghimforeverysingledollar."
"Sure,Iknow,butit'syourfight,honey.Keepafterhim.He'dsimplyresentmybuttingin."
Hecrossedoverandpattedhershoulder.
Outsidethewindow,beyondthefly–screenthatwasopaquewithdustandcottonwoodlint,MainStreetwashushedexceptfortheimpatientthrobofastandingmotorcar.
Shetookhisfirmhand,pressedhisknucklesagainsthercheek.
"OWill,Daveissomeanandlittleandnoisy—theshrimp!You'resocalm.Whenhe'scuttingupatpartiesIseeyoustandingbackandwatchinghim—thewayamastiffwatchesaterrier."
Hefoughtforprofessionaldignitywith,"Dave'snotabadfellow."
Lingeringlyshereleasedhishand."Will,droproundbythehousethiseveningandscoldme.Makemebegoodandsensible.AndI'msolonely."
"IfIdid,Davewouldbethere,andwe'dhavetoplaycards.It'shiseveningofffromthestore."
"No.TheclerkjustgotcalledtoCorinth—mothersick.
Davewillbeinthestoretillmidnight.Oh,comeonover.
There'ssomelovelybeerontheice,andwecansitandtalkandbeallcoolandlazy.
Thatwouldn'tbewrongofus,WOULDit!"
"No,no,courseitwouldn'tbewrong.Butstill,oughtn'tto—"HesawCarol,slimblackandivory,cool,scornfulofintrigue.
"Allright.ButI'llbesolonely."
Herthroatseemedyoung,aboveherlooseblouseofmuslinandmachine–lace.
"Tellyou,Maud:I'lldropinjustforaminute,ifIhappentobecalleddownthatway."
"Ifyou'dlike,"demurely."OWill,Ijustwantcomfort.
Iknowyou'reallmarried,andmy,suchaproudpapa,andofcoursenow—IfIcouldjustsitnearyouinthedusk,andbequiet,andforgetDave!YouWILLcome?"
"SureIwill!"
"I'llexpectyou.I'llbelonelyifyoudon'tcome!Good–by."
Hecursedhimself:"Darnedfool,what'dIpromisetogofor?
I'llhavetokeepmypromise,orshe'llfeelhurt.
She'sagood,decent,affectionategirl,andDave'sacheapskate,allright.
She'sgotmorelifetoherthanCarolhas.Allmyfault,anyway.
Whycan'tIbemorecagey,likeCalibreeandMcGanumandtherestofthedoctors?
Oh,Iam,butMaud'ssuchademandingidiot.
Deliberatelybamboozlingmeintogoinguptheretonight.
Matterofprinciple:oughtnottolethergetawaywithit.Iwon'tgo.
I'llcallherupandtellherIwon'tgo.
Me,withCarrieathome,finestlittlewomanintheworld,andamessy–mindedfemalelikeMaudDyer—no,SIR!
Thoughthere'snoneedofhurtingherfeelings.
Imayjustdropinforasecond,totellherIcan'tstay.
Allmyfaultanyway;oughtnevertohavestartedinandjolliedMaudalongintheolddays.
Ifit'smyfault,I'vegotnorighttopunishMaud.
IcouldjustdropinforasecondandthenpretendIhadacountrycallandbeatit.
Damnnuisance,though,havingtofakeupexcuses.
Lord,whycan'tthewomenletyoualone?
Justbecauseonceortwice,sevenhundredmillionyearsago,youwereapoorfool,whycan'ttheyletyouforgetit?Maud'sownfault.I'llstaystrictlyaway.
TakeCarrietothemovies,andforgetMaud....Butitwouldbekindofhotatthemoviestonight."
Hefledfromhimself.Herammedonhishat,threwhiscoatoverhisarm,bangedthedoor,lockedit,trampeddownstairs."Iwon'tgo!"
hesaidsturdilyand,ashesaidit,hewouldhavegivenagooddealtoknowwhetherhewasgoing.
Hewasrefreshed,asalways,bythefamiliarwindowsandfaces.
ItrestoredhissoultohaveSamClarktrustinglybellow,"Bettercomedowntothelakethiseveningandhaveaswim,doc.
Ain'tyougoingtoopenyourcottageatall,thissummer?Bygolly,wemissyou."
Henotedtheprogressonthenewgarage.
Hehadtriumphedinthelayingofeverycourseofbricks;inthemhehadseenthegrowthofthetown.
HispridewasusheredbacktoitsthronebytherespectfulnessofOleySundquist:"Evenin',doc!Thewomanisalotbetter.Thatwasswellmedicineyougaveher."
Hewascalmedbythemechanicalnessofthetasksathome:burningthegraywebofatent–wormonthewildcherrytree,sealingwithgumacutintherightfronttireofthecar,sprinklingtheroadbeforethehouse.Thehosewascooltohishands.
Asthebrightarrowsfellwithafaintputteringsound,acrescentofblacknesswasformedinthegraydust.
DaveDyercamealong.
"Wheregoing,Dave?"
"Downtothestore.Justhadsupper."
"ButThursday'syournightoff."
"Sure,butPetewenthome.Hismother'ssupposedtobesick.Gosh,theseclerksyougetnowadays—overpay'emandthentheywon'twork!"
"That'stough,Dave.You'llhavetoworkclearuptilltwelve,then."
"Yup.Betterdropinandhaveacigar,ifyou'redowntown.
"Well,Imay,atthat.MayhavetogodownandseeMrs.ChampPerry.She'sailing.Solong,Dave."
Kennicotthadnotyetenteredthehouse.
HewasconsciousthatCarolwasnearhim,thatshewasimportant,thathewasafraidofherdisapproval;buthewascontenttobealone.
Whenhehadfinishedsprinklinghestrolledintothehouse,uptothebaby'sroom,andcriedtoHugh,"Story–timefortheoldman,eh?"
Carolwasinalowchair,framedandhaloedbythewindowbehindher,animageinpalegold.Thebabycurledinherlap,hisheadonherarm,listeningwithgravitywhileshesangfromGeneField:
'TislittleLuddy–Dudinthemorning—
'TislittleLuddy–Dudatnight:
Andalldaylong
'Tisthesamedearsong
Ofthatgrowing,crowing,knowinglittlesprite.
Kennicottwasenchanted.
"MaudDyer?Ishouldsaynot!"
Whenthecurrentmaidbawledup–stairs,"Supperondetable!"
Kennicottwasuponhisback,flappinghishandsintheearnestefforttobeaseal,thrilledbythestrengthwithwhichhissonkickedhim.
HeslippedhisarmaboutCarol'sshoulder;hewentdowntosupperrejoicingthathewascleansedofperilousstuff.
WhileCarolwasputtingthebabytobedhesatonthefrontsteps.
NatHicks,tailorandroue,cametositbesidehim.
Betweenwavesofhishandashedroveoffmosquitos,Natwhispered,"Say,doc,youdon'tfeellikeimaginingyou'reabacheldoreagain,andcomingoutforaTimetonight,doyou?"
"Ashow?"
"Youknowthisnewdressmaker,Mrs.Swiftwaite?—swelldamewithblondinehair?Well,she'saprettygoodgoer.
MeandHarryHaydockaregoingtotakeherandthatfatwrenthatworksintheBonTon—nicekid,too—onanautoridetonight.
Maybewe'lldrivedowntothatfarmHarrybought.
We'retakingsomebeer,andsomeofthesmoothestryeyoueverlaidtongueto.
I'mnotpredictingnone,butifwedon'thaveapicnic,I'llmissmyguess."
"Gotoit.Noskinoffmyear,Nat.ThinkIwanttobefifthwheelinthecoach?"
"No,butlookhere:ThelittleSwiftwaitehasafriendwithherfromWinona,dandylookerandsomegaybird,andHarryandmethoughtmaybeyou'dliketosneakoffforoneevening."
"No—no—"
"Ratsnow,doc,forgetyoureverlastingdignity.Youusedtobeaprettygoodsportyourself,whenyouwerefoot–free."
ItmayhavebeenthefactthatMrs.Swiftwaite'sfriendremainedtoKennicottanill–toldrumor,itmayhavebeenCarol'svoice,wistfulinthepallideveningasshesangtoHugh,itmayhavebeennaturalandcommendablevirtue,butcertainlyhewaspositive:
"Nope.I'mmarriedforkeeps.Don'tpretendtobeanysaint.
LiketogetoutandraiseCainandshootafewdrinks.
Butafellowowesaduty—Straightnow,won'tyoufeellikeasneakwhenyoucomebacktothemissusafteryourjamboree?"
"Me?Mymoralinlifeis,'Whattheydon'tknowwon'thurt'emnone.'Thewaytohandlewives,likethefellowsays,istocatch'emearly,treat'emrough,andtell'emnothing!"
"Well,that'syourbusiness,Isuppose.ButIcan'tgetawaywithit.
Besidesthat—wayIfigureit,thisillicitlove–makingistheonegamethatyoualwaysloseat.
Ifyoudolose,youfeelfoolish;andifyouwin,assoonasyoufindouthowlittleitisthatyou'vebeenschemingfor,whythenyouloseworsethanever.Naturestingingus,asusual.
Butatthat,Iguessalotofwivesinthisburgwouldbesurprisediftheykneweverythingthatgoesonbehindtheirbacks,eh,Nattie?"
"WOULDthey!Say,boy!
IfthegoodwivesknewwhatsomeoftheboysgetawaywithwhentheygodowntotheCities,why,they'dthrowafit!Sureyouwon'tcome,doc?
Thinkofgettingallcooledoffbyagoodlongdrive,andthenthelov–e–lySwiftwaite'swhitehandmixingyouagoodstiffhighball!"
"Nope.Nope.Sorry.GuessIwon't,"grumbledKennicott.
HewasgladthatNatshowedsignsofgoing.Buthewasrestless.HeheardCarolonthestairs."Comehaveaseat—havethewholeearth!"heshoutedjovially.
Shedidnotanswerhisjoviality.Shesatontheporch,rockedsilently,thensighed,"Somanymosquitosouthere.Youhaven'thadthescreenfixed."
Asthoughhewastestingherhesaidquietly,"Headachingagain?"
"Oh,notmuch,but—ThismaidisSOslowtolearn.Ihavetoshowhereverything.
Ihadtocleanmostofthesilvermyself.AndHughwassobadallafternoon.Hewhinedso.
Poorsoul,hewashot,buthedidwearmeout."
"Uh—Youusuallywanttogetout.Liketowalkdowntothelakeshore?(Thegirlcanstayhome.)Orgotothemovies?Comeon,let'sgotothemovies!
OrshallwejumpinthecarandrunouttoSam's,foraswim?"
"Ifyoudon'tmind,dear,I'mafraidI'mrathertired."
"Whydon'tyousleepdown–stairstonight,onthecouch?Becooler.I'mgoingtobringdownmymattress.Comeon!Keeptheoldmancompany.
Can'ttell—Imightgetscaredofburglars.
Lettin'littlefellowlikemestayallalonebyhimself!"
"It'ssweetofyoutothinkofit,butIlikemyownroomsomuch.Butyougoaheadanddoit,dear.
Whydon'tyousleeponthecouch,insteadofputtingyourmattressonthefloor?
WellIbelieveI'llruninandreadforjustasecond—wanttolookatthelastVogue—andthenperhapsI'llgoby–by.Unlessyouwantme,dear?
Ofcourseifthere'sanythingyoureallyWANTmefor?"
"No.No....Matteroffact,IreallyoughttorundownandseeMrs.ChampPerry.She'sailing.
Soyouskipinand—Maydropinatthedrugstore.
IfI'mnothomewhenyougetsleepy,don'twaitupforme."
Hekissedher,rambledoff,noddedtoJimHowland,stoppedindifferentlytospeaktoMrs.TerryGould.
Buthisheartwasracing,hisstomachwasconstricted.Hewalkedmoreslowly.HereachedDaveDyer'syard.Heglancedin.
Ontheporch,shelteredbyawild–grapevine,wasthefigureofawomaninwhite.
Heheardtheswing–couchcreakasshesatupabruptly,peered,thenleanedbackandpretendedtorelax.
"Benicetohavesomecoolbeer.Justdropinforasecond,"heinsisted,asheopenedtheDyergate.
II
Mrs.BogartwascallinguponCarol,protectedbyAuntBessieSmail.
"Haveyouheardaboutthisawfulwomanthat'ssupposedtohavecomeheretododressmaking—aMrs.Swiftwaite—awfulperoxideblonde?"moanedMrs.Bogart.
"Theysaythere'ssomeoftheawfullestgoings–onatherhouse—mereboysandoldgray–headedripssneakinginthereeveningsanddrinkinglickerandeverykindofgoings–on.
Wewomencan'tneverrealizethecarnalthoughtsintheheartsofmen.
Itellyou,eventhoughIbeenacquaintedwithWillKennicottalmostsincehewasamereboy,seemslike,Iwouldn'ttrustevenhim!
Whoknowswhatdesignin'womenmighttempthim!
Especiallyadoctor,withwomenrushin'intoseehimathisofficeandall!
YouknowIneverhintaround,buthaven'tyoufeltthat—"
Carolwasfurious."Idon'tpretendthatWillhasnofaults.
ButonethingIdoknow:He'sassimple–heartedaboutwhatyoucall'goings–on'asababe.
Andifheeverweresuchasaddogastolookatanotherwoman,Icertainlyhopehe'dhavespiritenoughtodothetempting,andnotbecoaxedintoit,asinyourdepressingpicture!"
"Why,whatawickedthingtosay,Carrie!"fromAuntBessie.
"No,Imeanit!Oh,ofcourse,Idon'tmeanit!
But—Iknoweverythoughtinhisheadsowellthathecouldn'thideanythingevenifhewantedto.
Nowthismorning—Hewasoutlate,lastnight;hehadtogoseeMrs.Perry,whoisailing,andthenfixaman'shand,andthismorninghewassoquietandthoughtfulatbreakfastand—"Sheleanedforward,breatheddramaticallytothetwoperchedharpies,"Whatdoyousupposehewasthinkingof?"
"What?"trembledMrs.Bogart.
"Whetherthegrassneedscutting,probably!There,there!Don'tmindmynaughtiness.Ihavesomefresh–maderaisincookiesforyou."
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