"No.Icouldn'tfallinlovewithhim.Ilikehim,verymuch.Buthe'stoomuchofarecluse.CouldIkisshim?No!No! GuyPollockattwenty–sixIcouldhavekissedhimthen,maybe,evenifIweremarriedtosomeoneelse,andprobablyI'dhavebeenglibinpersuadingmyselfthat'itwasn'treallywrong.' "TheamazingthingisthatI'mnotmoreamazedatmyself.I,thevirtuousyoungmatron.AmItobetrusted?IfthePrinceCharmingcame— "AGopherPrairiehousewife,marriedayear,andyearningfora'PrinceCharming'likeabachfischofsixteen!Theysaythatmarriageisamagicchange.ButI'mnotchanged.But— "No!Iwouldn'twanttofallinlove,evenifthePrincedidcome.Iwouldn'twanttohurtWill.IamfondofWill.Iam!Hedoesn'tstirme,notanylonger.ButIdependonhim.Heishomeandchildren. "Iwonderwhenwewillbegintohavechildren?Idowantthem. "IwonderwhetherIrememberedtotellBeatohavehominytomorrow,insteadofoatmeal?Shewillhavegonetobedbynow.PerhapsI'llbeupearlyenough— "EversofondofWill.Iwouldn'thurthim,evenifIhadtolosethemadlove. IfthePrincecameI'dlookonceathim,andrun.Darnfast!Oh,Carol,youarenotheroicnorfine. Youaretheimmutablevulgaryoungfemale. "ButI'mnotthefaithlesswifewhoenjoysconfidingthatshe's'misunderstood.'Oh,I'mnot,I'mnot! "AtleastIdidn'twhispertoGuyaboutWill'sfaultsandhisblindnesstomyremarkablesoul.Ididn't! Matteroffact,Willprobablyunderstandsmeperfectly! Ifonly—ifhewouldjustbackmeupinrousingthetown. "Howmany,howincrediblymanywivestheremustbewhotingleoverthefirstGuyPollockwhosmilesatthem.No! Iwillnotbeoneofthatherdofyearners!Thecoyvirginbrides. YetprobablyifthePrincewereyounganddaredtofacelife— "I'mnothalfaswellorientedasthatMrs.Dillon.Soobviouslyadoringherdentist!AndseeingGuyonlyasaneccentricfogy. "Theyweren'tsilk,Mrs.Dillon'sstockings.Theywerelisle.Herlegsareniceandslim.Butnonicerthanmine. Ihatecottontopsonsilkstockings....Aremyanklesgettingfat?IwillNOThavefatankles! "No.IamfondofWill.Hiswork—onefarmerhepullsthroughdiphtheriaisworthallmyyammeringforacastleinSpain.Acastlewithbaths. "Thishatissotight.Imuststretchit.Guylikedit. "There'sthehouse.I'mawfullychilly.Timetogetoutthefurcoat. IwonderifI'lleverhaveabeavercoat?NutriaisNOTthesamething!Beaver–glossy.Liketorunmyfingersoverit.Guy'smustachelikebeaver.Howutterlyabsurd! "Iam,IAMfondofWill,and—Can'tIeverfindanotherwordthan'fond'? "He'shome.He'llthinkIwasoutlate. "Whycan'theeverremembertopulldowntheshades? CyBogartandallthebeastlyboyspeepingin. Butthepoordear,he'sabsent–mindedaboutminute—minush—whateverthewordis. Hehassomuchworryandwork,whileIdonothingbutjabbertoBea. "IMUSTN'Tforgetthehominy—" Shewasflyingintothehall.KennicottlookedupfromtheJournaloftheAmericanMedicalSociety. "Hello!Whattimedidyougetback?"shecried. "Aboutnine.Youbeengadding.Hereitispasteleven!"Good–naturedyetnotquiteapproving. "Well,youdidn'tremembertoclosethelowerdraftinthefurnace." "Oh,I'msosorry.ButIdon'toftenforgetthingslikethat,doI?" Shedroppedintohislapand(afterhehadjerkedbackhisheadtosavehiseye–glasses,andremovedtheglasses,andsettledherinapositionlesscrampingtohislegs,andcasuallyclearedhisthroat)hekissedheramiably,andremarked: "Nope,Imustsayyou'refairlygoodaboutthingslikethat.Iwasn'tkicking. IjustmeantIwouldn'twantthefiretogooutonus. Leavethatdraftopenandthefiremightburnupandgooutonus. Andthenightsarebeginningtogetprettycoldagain.Prettycoldonmydrive. Iputtheside–curtainsup,itwassochilly. Butthegeneratorisworkingallrightnow." "Yes.Itischilly.ButIfeelfineaftermywalk." "IwentuptoseethePerrys."Byadefiniteactofwillsheaddedthetruth:"Theyweren'tin.AndIsawGuyPollock.Droppedintohisoffice." "Why,youhaven'tbeensittingandchinningwithhimtilleleveno'clock?" "Ofcoursethereweresomeotherpeoplethereand—Will!WhatdoyouthinkofDr.Westlake?" "Inoticedhimonthestreettoday." "Washelimping?IfthepoorfishwouldhavehisteethX–rayed,I'llbetnineandahalfcentshe'dfindanabscessthere.'Rheumatism'hecallsit.Rheumatism,hell!He'sbehindthetimes.Wonderhedoesn'tbleedhimself! Wellllllll—"Aprofoundandseriousyawn. "Ihatetobreakuptheparty,butit'sgettinglate,andadoctorneverknowswhenhe'llgetroutedoutbeforemorning." (Sherememberedthathehadgiventhisexplanation,inthesewords,notlessthanthirtytimesintheyear.) "Iguesswebetterbetrottinguptobed. I'vewoundtheclockandlookedatthefurnace. Didyoulockthefrontdoorwhenyoucamein?" Theytrailedup–stairs,afterhehadturnedoutthelightsandtwicetestedthefrontdoortomakesureitwasfast. Whiletheytalkedtheywerepreparingforbed. Carolstillsoughttomaintainprivacybyundressingbehindthescreenoftheclosetdoor.Kennicottwasnotsoreticent. Tonight,aseverynight,shewasirritatedbyhavingtopushtheoldplushchairoutofthewaybeforeshecouldopentheclosetdoor. Everytimesheopenedthedoorsheshovedthechair.Tentimesanhour. ButKennicottlikedtohavethechairintheroom,andtherewasnoplaceforitexceptinfrontofthecloset. Shepushedit,feltangry,hidheranger.Kennicottwasyawning,moreportentously.Theroomsmelledstale.Sheshruggedandbecamechatty: "YouwerespeakingofDr.Westlake.Tellme—you'veneversummedhimup:Ishereallyagooddoctor?" "Ohyes,he'sawiseoldcoot." ("There!Youseethereisnomedicalrivalry.Notinmyhouse!"shesaidtriumphantlytoGuyPollock.) Shehunghersilkpetticoatonaclosethook,andwenton,"Dr.Westlakeissogentleandscholarly—" "Well,Idon'tknowasI'dsayhewassuchawhaleofascholar. I'vealwayshadasuspicionhedidagooddealoffour–flushingaboutthat. HelikestohavepeoplethinkhekeepsuphisFrenchandGreekandLordknowswhatall;andhe'salwaysgotanoldDagobooklyingaroundthesitting–room,butI'vegotahunchhereadsdetectivestories'boutliketherestofus. AndIdon'tknowwherehe'deverlearnsodog–gonemanylanguagesanyway! HekindofletspeopleassumehewenttoHarvardorBerlinorOxfordorsomewhere,butIlookedhimupinthemedicalregister,andhegraduatedfromahickcollegeinPennsylvania,'waybackin1861!" "Butthisistheimportantthing:Isheanhonestdoctor?" "Howdoyoumean'honest'?Dependsonwhatyoumean." "Supposeyouweresick.Wouldyoucallhimin?Wouldyouletmecallhimin?" "NotifIwerewellenoughtocussandbite,Iwouldn't!No,SIR! Iwouldn'thavetheoldfakeinthehouse. Makesmetired,hiseverlastingpalaveringandsoft–soaping. He'sallrightforanordinarybellyacheorholdingsomefoolwoman'shand,butIwouldn'tcallhiminforanhonest–to–Godillness,notmuchIwouldn't,NO–sir! YouknowIdon'tdomuchback–biting,butsametime—I'lltellyou,Carrrie:I'venevergotoverbeingsoreatWestlakeforthewayhetreatedMrs.Jonderquist. Nothingthematterwithher,whatshereallyneededwasarest,butWestlakekeptcallingonherandcallingonherforweeks,almosteveryday,andhesentheragoodbigfatbill,too,youcanbet!Ineverdidforgivehimforthat. Nicedecenthard–workingpeopleliketheJonderquists!" Inherbatistenightgownshewasstandingatthebureauengagedintheinvariableritesofwishingthatshehadarealdressing–tablewithatriplemirror,ofbendingtowardthestreakyglassandraisingherchintoinspectapin–headmoleonherthroat,andfinallyofbrushingherhair.Inrhythmtothestrokesshewenton: "But,Will,thereisn'tanyofwhatyoumightcallfinancialrivalrybetweenyouandthepartners—WestlakeandMcGanum—isthere?" Heflippedintobedwithasolemnback–somersaultandaludicrouskickofhisheelsashetuckedhislegsundertheblankets.Hesnorted,"Lordno! Ineverbegrudgeanymananickelhecangetawayfromme—fairly." "ButisWestlakefair?Isn'thesly?" "Slyistheword.He'safox,thatboy!" ShesawGuyPollock'sgrininthemirror.Sheflushed. Kennicott,withhisarmsbehindhishead,wasyawning: "Yump.He'ssmooth,toosmooth. ButIbetImakeprett'nearasmuchasWestlakeandMcGanumbothtogether,thoughI'veneverwantedtograbmorethanmyjustshare. Ifanybodywantstogotothepartnersinsteadoftome,that'shisbusiness. ThoughImustsayitmakesmetiredwhenWestlakegetsholdoftheDawsons. HereLukeDawsonhadbeencomingtomeforeverytoeacheandheadacheandalotoflittlethingsthatjustwastedmytime,andthenwhenhisgrandchildwasherelastsummerandhadsummer–complaint,Isuppose,orsomethinglikethat,probably—youknow,thetimeyouandIdroveuptoLac–qui–Meurt—why,WestlakegotholdofMaDawson,andscaredhertodeath,andmadeherthinkthekidhadappendicitis,and,bygolly,ifheandMcGanumdidn'toperate,andhollertheirheadsoffabouttheterribleadhesionstheyfound,andwhataregularCharleyandWillMayotheywereforclassysurgery. Theyletonthatifthey'dwaitedtwohoursmorethekidwouldhavedevelopedperitonitis,andGodknowswhatall;andthentheycollectedanicefathundredandfiftydollars. Andprobablythey'dhavechargedthreehundred,iftheyhadn'tbeenafraidofme! I'mnohog,butIcertainlydohatetogiveoldLuketendollars'worthofadviceforadollarandahalf,andthenseeahundredandfiftygoglimmering. AndifIcan'tdoabetter'pendectomythaneitherWestlakeorMcGanum,I'lleatmyhat!" AsshecreptintobedshewasdazzledbyGuy'sblazinggrin.Sheexperimented: "ButWestlakeisclevererthanhisson–in–law,don'tyouthink?" "Yes,Westlakemaybeold–fashionedandallthat,buthe'sgotacertainamountofintuition,whileMcGanumgoesintoeverythingbull–headed,andbuttshiswaythroughlikeadamnyahoo,andtriestoarguehispatientsintohavingwhateverhediagnosesthemashaving! AboutthebestthingMaccandoistosticktobaby–snatching. He'sjustaboutonaparwiththisbone–poundingchiropractorfemale,Mrs.MattieGooch." "Mrs.WestlakeandMrs.McGanum,though—they'renice.They'vebeenawfullycordialtome." "Well,noreasonwhytheyshouldn'tbe,isthere? Oh,they'reniceenough—thoughyoucanbetyourbottomdollarthey'rebothpluggingfortheirhusbandsallthetime,tryingtogetthebusiness. AndIdon'tknowasIcallitsodamncordialinMrs.McGanumwhenIholleratheronthestreetandshenodsbacklikeshehadasoreneck.Still,she'sallright. It'sMaWestlakethatmakesthemischief,pussyfootingaroundallthetime. ButIwouldn'ttrustanyWestlakeoutofthewholelot,andwhileMrs.McGanumSEEMSsquareenough,youdon'tneverwanttoforgetthatshe'sWestlake'sdaughter.Youbet!" "WhataboutDr.Gould?Don'tyouthinkhe'sworsethaneitherWestlakeorMcGanum?He'ssocheap—drinking,andplayingpool,andalwayssmokingcigarsinsuchacockyway—" "That'sallrightnow!TerryGouldisagooddealofatin–hornsport,butheknowsalotaboutmedicine,anddon'tyouforgetitforonesecond!" ShestareddownGuy'sgrin,andaskedmorecheerfully,"Ishehonest,too?" "Ooooooooooo!GoshI'msleepy!" Heburrowedbeneaththebedclothesinaluxuriousstretch,andcameuplikeadiver,shakinghishead,ashecomplained,"How'sthat?Who?TerryGouldhonest? Don'tstartmelaughing—I'mtooniceandsleepy!Ididn'tsayhewashonest. Isaidhehadsavvyenoughtofindtheindexin'Gray'sAnatomy,'whichismorethanMcGanumcando! ButIdidn'tsayanythingabouthisbeinghonest.Heisn't.Terryiscrookedasadog'shindleg.He'sdonememorethanonedirtytrick. HetoldMrs.Glorbach,seventeenmilesout,thatIwasn'tup–to–dateinobstetrics.Fatlotofgooditdidhim!Shecamerightinandtoldme!AndTerry'slazy. He'dletapneumoniapatientchokeratherthaninterruptapokergame." "Doesheplaymuchpoker?Dr.DillontoldmethatDr.Gouldwantedhimtoplay—" "Dillontoldyouwhat?Where'dyoumeetDillon?He'sjustcometotown." "HeandhiswifewereatMr.Pollock'stonight." "Say,uh,what'dyouthinkofthem?Didn'tDillonstrikeyouasprettylight–waisted?" "Whyno.Heseemedintelligent.I'msurehe'smuchmorewide–awakethanourdentist." "Wellnow,theoldmanisagooddentist.Heknowshisbusiness. AndDillon—Iwouldn'tcuddleuptotheDillonstooclose,ifIwereyou. AllrightforPollock,andthat'snoneofourbusiness,butwe—IthinkI'djustgivetheDillonsthegladhandandpass'emup." "That's—all—right!"Kennicottwasaggressivelyawakenow. "He'llworkrightinwithWestlakeandMcGanum. Matteroffact,Isuspecttheywerelargelyresponsibleforhislocatinghere. They'llbesendinghimpatients,andhe'llsendallthathecangetholdoftothem. Idon'ttrustanybodythat'stoomuchhand–in–glovewithWestlake. YougiveDillonashotatsomefellowthat'sjustboughtafarmhereanddriftsintotowntogethisteethlookedat,andafterDillongetsthroughwithhim,you'llseehimedgingaroundtoWestlakeandMcGanum,everytime!" Carolreachedforherblouse,whichhungonachairbythebed. Shedrapeditabouthershoulders,andsatupstudyingKennicott,herchininherhands. Inthegraylightfromthesmallelectricbulbdownthehallshecouldseethathewasfrowning. "Will,thisis—Imustgetthisstraight.Someonesaidtometheotherdaythatintownslikethis,evenmorethanincities,allthedoctorshateeachother,becauseofthemoney—" "I'llbetahatitwasyourVidaSherwin.She'sabrainywoman,butshe'dbeadamnsightbrainierifshekepthermouthshutanddidn'tletsomuchofherbrainsoozeoutthatway." "Will!OWill!That'shorrible! Asidefromthevulgarity—Someways,Vidaismybestfriend.EvenifsheHADsaidit. Which,asamatteroffact,shedidn't." Hereareduphisthickshoulders,inabsurdpinkandgreenflannelettepajamas. Hesatstraight,andirritatinglysnappedhisfingers,andgrowled: "Well,ifshedidn'tsayit,let'sforgether.Doesn'tmakeanydifferencewhosaidit,anyway.Thepointisthatyoubelieveit.God!Tothinkyoudon'tunderstandmeanybetterthanthat!Money!" ("Thisisthefirstrealquarrelwe'veeverhad,"shewasagonizing.) Hethrustouthislongarmandsnatchedhiswrinklyvestfromachair.Hetookoutacigar,amatch.Hetossedthevestonthefloor. Helightedthecigarandpuffedsavagely. Hebrokeupthematchandsnappedthefragmentsatthefoot–board. Shesuddenlysawthefoot–boardofthebedasthefoot–stoneofthegraveoflove. Theroomwasdrab–coloredandill–ventilated—Kennicottdidnot"believeinopeningthewindowssodarnwidethatyouheatalloutdoors."Thestaleairseemednevertochange. Inthelightfromthehalltheyweretwolumpsofbedclotheswithshouldersandtousledheadsattached. Shebegged,"Ididn'tmeantowakeyouup,dear.Andpleasedon'tsmoke.You'vebeensmokingsomuch.Pleasegobacktosleep.I'msorry." "Beingsorry'sallright,butI'mgoingtotellyouoneortwothings. Thisfallingforanybody'ssay–soaboutmedicaljealousyandcompetitionissimplypartandparcelofyourusualwillingnesstothinktheworstyoupossiblycanofuspoordubsinGopherPrairie. Troublewithwomenlikeyouis,youalwayswanttoARGUE.Can'ttakethingsthewaytheyare.Gottoargue. Well,I'mnotgoingtoargueaboutthisinanyway,shape,manner,orform. Troublewithyouis,youdon'tmakeanyefforttoappreciateus. You'resodamnedsuperior,andthinkthecityissuchahellofalotfinerplace,andyouwantustodowhatYOUwant,allthetime—" "That'snottrue!It'sIwhomaketheeffort. It'sthey—it'syou—whostandbackandcriticize. Ihavetocomeovertothetown'sopinion;Ihavetodevotemyselftotheirinterests. Theycan'tevenSEEmyinterests,tosaynothingofadoptingthem. IgeteversoexcitedabouttheiroldLakeMinniemashieandthecottages,buttheysimplyguffaw(inthatlovelyfriendlywayyouadvertisesomuch)ifIspeakofwantingtoseeTaorminaalso." "Sure,Tormina,whateverthatis—someniceexpensivemillionairecolony,Isuppose. Sure;that'stheidea;champagnetasteandbeerincome;andmakesurethatweneverwillhavemorethanabeerincome,too!" "AreyoubyanychanceimplyingthatIamnoteconomical?" "Well,Ihadn'tintendedto,butsinceyoubringitupyourself,Idon'tmindsayingthegrocerybillsareabouttwicewhattheyoughttobe." "Yes,theyprobablyare.I'mnoteconomical.Ican'tbe.Thankstoyou!" "Whered'yougetthat'thankstoyou'?" "Pleasedon'tbequitesocolloquial—orshallIsayVULGAR?" "I'llbeasdamncolloquialasIwantto.Howdoyougetthat'thankstoyou'? Hereaboutayearagoyoujumpmefornotrememberingtogiveyoumoney.Well,I'mreasonable. Ididn'tblameyou,andISAIDIwastoblame. ButhaveIeverforgottenitsince—practically?" "No.Youhaven't—practically!Butthatisn'tit.Ioughttohaveanallowance.Iwill,too!Imusthaveanagreementforaregularstatedamount,everymonth." "Fineidea!Ofcourseadoctorgetsaregularstatedamount!Sure!Athousandonemonth—andluckyifhemakesahundredthenext." "Verywellthen,apercentage.Orsomethingelse.Nomatterhowmuchyouvary,youcanmakearoughaveragefor—" "Butwhat'stheidea?Whatareyoutryingtogetat?MeantosayI'munreasonable? ThinkI'msounreliableandtightwadthatyou'vegottotiemedownwithacontract?ByGod,thathurts! IthoughtI'dbeenprettygenerousanddecent,andItookalotofpleasure—thinksI,'she'llbetickledwhenIhandheroverthistwenty'—orfifty,orwhateveritwas;andnowseemsyoubeenwantingtomakeitakindofalimony. Me,likeapoorfool,thinkingIwasliberalallthewhile,andyou—" "Pleasestoppityingyourself!You'rehavingabeautifultimefeelinginjured.Iadmitallyousay.Certainly.You'vegivenmemoneybothfreelyandamiably.QuiteasifIwereyourmistress!" "Imeanit!Whatwasamagnificentspectacleofgenerositytoyouwashumiliationtome.YouGAVEmemoney—gaveittoyourmistress,ifshewascomplaisant,andthenyou—" "(Don'tinterruptme!)—thenyoufeltyou'ddischargedallobligation. Well,hereafterI'llrefuseyourmoney,asagift. EitherI'myourpartner,inchargeofthehouseholddepartmentofourbusiness,witharegularbudgetforit,orelseI'mnothing. IfI'mtobeamistress,Ishallchoosemylovers. Oh,Ihateit—Ihateit—thissmirkingandhopingformoney—andthennotevenspendingitonjewelsasamistresshasarightto,butspendingitondouble–boilersandsocksforyou!Yesindeed!You'regenerous! Yougivemeadollar,rightout—theonlyprovisoisthatImustspenditonatieforyou!Andyougiveitwhenandasyouwish. HowcanIbeanythingbutuneconomical?" "Ohwell,ofcourse,lookingatitthatway—" "Ican'tshoparound,can'tbuyinlargequantities,havetosticktostoreswhereIhaveachargeaccount,gooddealofthetime,can'tplanbecauseIdon'tknowhowmuchmoneyIcandependon. That'swhatIpayforyourcharmingsentimentalitiesaboutgivingsogenerously.Youmakeme—" "Wait!Wait!Youknowyou'reexaggerating. Youneverthoughtaboutthatmistressstufftilljustthisminute! Matteroffact,youneverhave'smirkedandhopedformoney.'Butallthesame,youmayberight. Yououghttorunthehouseholdasabusiness. I'llfigureoutadefiniteplantomorrow,andhereafteryou'llbeonaregularamountorpercentage,withyourowncheckingaccount." "Oh,thatISdecentofyou!"Sheturnedtowardhim,tryingtobeaffectionate. Buthiseyeswerepinkandunlovelyintheflareofthematchwithwhichhelightedhisdeadandmalodorouscigar. Hisheaddrooped,andaridgeoffleshscatteredwithpalesmallbristlesbulgedoutunderhischin. Shesatinabeyancetillhecroaked: "No.'Tisn'tespeciallydecent.It'sjustfair.AndGodknowsIwanttobefair.ButIexpectotherstobefair,too. Andyou'resohighandmightyaboutpeople. TakeSamClark;bestsoulthateverlived,honestandloyalandadamngoodfellow—" ("Yes,andagoodshotatducks,don'tforgetthat!") ("Well,andheisagoodshot,too!)Samdropsaroundintheeveningtositandvisit,andbygollyjustbecausehetakesadrysmokeandrollshiscigararoundinhismouth,andmaybespitsafewtimes,youlookathimasifhewasahog. Oh,youdidn'tknowIwasontoyou,andIcertainlyhopeSamhasn'tnoticedit,butInevermissit." "Ihavefeltthatway.Spitting—ugh!ButI'msorryyoucaughtmythoughts.Itriedtobenice;Itriedtohidethem." "MaybeIcatchawholelotmorethanyouthinkIdo!" "Andd'youknowwhySamdoesn'tlighthiscigarwhenhe'shere?" "He'ssodarnafraidyou'llbeoffendedifhesmokes.Youscarehim. Everytimehespeaksoftheweatheryoujumphimbecauseheain'ttalkingaboutpoetryorGertie—Goethe?—orsomeotherhighbrowjunk. You'vegothimsoleeryhescarcelydarestocomehere." "Oh,IAMsorry.(ThoughI'msureit'syouwhoareexaggeratingnow.") "Wellnow,Idon'tknowasIam!AndIcantellyouonething:ifyoukeeponyou'llmanagetodriveawayeveryfriendI'vegot." "Thatwouldbehorribleofme.YouKNOWIdon'tmeantoWill,whatisitaboutmethatfrightensSam—ifIdofrightenhim." "Oh,youdo,allright!'Steadofputtinghislegsuponanotherchair,andunbuttoninghisvest,andtellingagoodstoryormaybekiddingmeaboutsomething,hesitsontheedgeofhischairandtriestomakeconversationaboutpolitics,andhedoesn'tevencuss,andSam'sneverrealcomfortableunlesshecancussalittle!" "Inotherwords,heisn'tcomfortableunlesshecanbehavelikeapeasantinamudhut!" "Nowthat'llbeaboutenoughofthat!Youwanttoknowhowyouscarehim? Firstyoudeliberatelyfiresomequestionathimthatyouknowdarnwellhecan'tanswer—anyfoolcouldseeyouwereexperimentingwithhim—andthenyoushockhimbytalkingofmistressesorsomething,likeyouweredoingjustnow—" "OfcoursethepureSamuelneverspeaksofsucherringladiesinhisprivateconversations!" "Notwhenthere'sladiesaround!Youcanbetyourlifeonthat!" "Sotheimpurityliesinfailingtopretendthat—" "Nowwewon'tgointoallthat—eugenicsorwhateverdamnfadyouchoosetocallit. AsIsay,firstyoushockhim,andthenyoubecomesodarnflightythatnobodycanfollowyou. Eitheryouwanttodance,oryoubangthepiano,orelseyougetmoodyasthedevilanddon'twanttotalkoranythingelse. Ifyoumustbetemperamental,whycan'tyoubethatwaybyyourself?" "Mydearman,there'snothingI'dlikebetterthantobebymyselfoccasionally!Tohavearoomofmyown! Isupposeyouexpectmetosithereanddreamdelicatelyandsatisfymy'temperamentality'whileyouwanderinfromthebathroomwithlatheralloveryourface,andshout,'Seenmybrownpants?'" "Huh!"Hedidnotsoundimpressed.Hemadenoanswer. Heturnedoutofbed,hisfeetmakingonesolidthudonthefloor. Hemarchedfromtheroom,agrotesquefigureinbaggyunion–pajamas. Sheheardhimdrawingadrinkofwateratthebathroomtap. Shewasfuriousatthecontemptuousnessofhisexit. Shesnuggleddowninbed,andlookedawayfromhimashereturned.Heignoredher. Asheflumpedintobedheyawned,andcasuallystated: "Well,you'llhaveplentyofprivacywhenwebuildanewhouse. "Oh,I'llbuilditallright,don'tyoufret!ButofcourseIdon'texpectanycreditforit." Nowitwasshewhogrunted"Huh!"andignoredhim,andfeltindependentandmasterfulassheshotupoutofbed,turnedherbackonhim,fishedaloneandpetrifiedchocolateoutofherglove–boxinthetopright–handdrawerofthebureau,gnawedatit,foundthatithadcocoanutfilling,said"Damn!" wishedthatshehadnotsaidit,sothatshemightbesuperiortohiscolloquialism,andhurledthechocolateintothewastebasket,whereitmadeanevilandmockingclatteramongthedebrisoftornlinencollarsandtoothpastebox. Then,ingreatdignityandself–dramatization,shereturnedtobed. Allthistimehehadbeentalkingon,embroideringhisassertionthathe"didn'texpectanycredit." Shewasreflectingthathewasarustic,thatshehatedhim,thatshehadbeeninsanetomarryhim,thatshehadmarriedhimonlybecauseshewastiredofwork,thatshemustgetherlongglovescleaned,thatshewouldneverdoanythingmoreforhim,andthatshemustn'tforgethishominyforbreakfast. Shewasrousedtoattentionbyhisstorming: "I'mafooltothinkaboutanewhouse.BythetimeIgetitbuiltyou'llprobablyhavesucceededinyourplantogetmecompletelyinDutchwitheveryfriendandeverypatientI'vegot." Shesatupwithabounce.Shesaidcoldly,"Thankyouverymuchforrevealingyourrealopinionofme. Ifthat'sthewayyoufeel,ifI'msuchahindrancetoyou,Ican'tstayunderthisroofanotherminute. AndIamperfectlywellabletoearnmyownliving. Iwillgoatonce,andyoumaygetadivorceatyourpleasure! Whatyouwantisanicesweetcowofawomanwhowillenjoyhavingyourdearfriendstalkabouttheweatherandspitonthefloor!" "YouwillverysoonfindoutwhetherI'mafoolornot!Imeanit! DoyouthinkI'dstayhereonesecondafterIfoundoutthatIwasinjuringyou? AtleastIhaveenoughsenseofjusticenottodothat." "Pleasestopflyingoffattangents,Carrie.This—" "Tangents?TANGENTS!Letmetellyou—" "—isn'tatheater–play;it'saseriousefforttohaveusgettogetheronfundamentals. We'vebothbeencranky,andsaidalotofthingswedidn'tmean. Iwishwewereacoupleo'bloomin'poetsandjusttalkedaboutrosesandmoonshine,butwe'rehuman.Allright.Let'scutoutjabbingateachother.Let'sadmitwebothdofoolthings. Seehere:YouKNOWyoufeelsuperiortofolks. You'renotasbadasIsay,butyou'renotasgoodasyousay—notbyalongshot!What'sthereasonyou'resosuperior?Whycan'tyoutakefolksastheyare?" HerpreparationsforstalkingoutoftheDoll'sHousewerenotyetvisible.Shemused: "Ithinkperhapsit'smychildhood."Shehalted. Whenshewentonhervoicehadanartificialsound,herwordsthebookishqualityofemotionalmeditation. "Myfatherwasthetenderestmanintheworld,buthedidfeelsuperiortoordinarypeople.Well,hewas! AndtheMinnesotaValley—IusedtositthereonthecliffsaboveMankatoforhoursatatime,mychininmyhand,lookingwaydownthevalley,wantingtowritepoems. Theshinytiltedroofsbelowme,andtheriver,andbeyonditthelevelfieldsinthemist,andtherimofpalisadesacross—Itheldmythoughtsin.ILIVED,inthevalley. Buttheprairie—allmythoughtsgoflyingoffintothebigspace.Doyouthinkitmightbethat?" "Um,well,maybe,but—Carrie,youalwaystalksomuchaboutgettingallyoucanoutoflife,andnotlettingtheyearsslipby,andhereyoudeliberatelygoanddepriveyourselfofalotofrealgoodhomepleasurebynotenjoyingpeopleunlesstheywearfrockcoatsandtrotout—" ("Morningclothes.Oh.Sorry.Didn'tmeant'interruptyou.") "—toalotoftea–parties.TakeJackElder. YouthinkJackhasn'tgotanyideasaboutanythingbutmanufacturingandthetariffonlumber. ButdoyouknowthatJackisnuttyaboutmusic? He'llputagrand–operarecordonthephonographandsitandlistentoitandclosehiseyes—OryoutakeLymCass. Everrealizewhatawell–informedmanheis?" "ButIShe?GopherPrairiecallsanybody'well–informed'who'sbeenthroughtheStateCapitolandheardaboutGladstone." "NowI'mtellingyou!Lymreadsalot—solidstuff—history.OrtakeMartMahoney,thegarageman. He'sgotalotofPerryprintsoffamouspicturesinhisoffice. OroldBinghamPlayfair,thatdiedhere'boutayearago—livedsevenmilesout. HewasacaptainintheCivilWar,andknewGeneralSherman,andtheysayhewasaminerinNevadarightalongsideofMarkTwain. You'llfindthesecharactersinallthesesmalltowns,andapileofsavvyineverysingleoneofthem,ifyoujustdigforit." "Iknow.AndIdolovethem.EspeciallypeoplelikeChampPerry.ButIcan'tbesoveryenthusiasticoverthesmugcitslikeJackElder." "ThenI'masmugcit,too,whateverthatis." "No,you'reascientist.Oh,IwilltryandgetthemusicoutofMr.Elder. Only,whycan'theletitCOMEout,insteadofbeingashamedofit,andalwaystalkingabouthuntingdogs?ButIwilltry.Isitallrightnow?" "Sure.Butthere'soneotherthing.Youmightgivemesomeattention,too!" "That'sunjust!YouhaveeverythingIam!" "No,Ihaven't.Youthinkyourespectme—youalwayshandoutsomespielaboutmybeingso'useful.'Butyouneverthinkofmeashavingambitions,justasmuchasyouhave—" "Perhapsnot.Ithinkofyouasbeingperfectlysatisfied." "Well,I'mnot,notbyalongshot!Idon'twanttobeapluggeneralpractitionerallmylife,likeWestlake,anddieinharnessbecauseIcan'tgetoutofit,andhave'emsay,'Hewasagoodfellow,buthecouldn'tsaveacent.' NotthatIcareawhoopwhattheysay,afterI'vekickedinandcan'thear'em,butIwanttoputenoughmoneyawaysoyouandIcanbeindependentsomeday,andnothavetoworkunlessIfeellikeit,andIwanttohaveagoodhouse—bygolly,I'llhaveasgoodahouseasanybodyinTHIStown! —andifwewanttotravelandseeyourTorminaorwhateveritis,whywecandoit,withenoughmoneyinourjeanssowewon'thavetotakeanythingoffanybody,orfretaboutouroldage. Youneverworryaboutwhatmighthappenifwegotsickanddidn'thaveagoodfatwadsaltedaway,doyou!" "Wellthen,Ihavetodoitforyou.AndifyouthinkforonemomentIwanttobestuckinthisburgallmylife,andnothaveachancetotravelandseethedifferentpointsofinterestandallthat,thenyousimplydon'tgetme. Iwanttohaveasquintattheworld,much'syoudo.Only,I'mpracticalaboutit. Firstplace,I'mgoingtomakethemoney—I'minvestingingoodsafefarmlands.Doyouunderstandwhynow?" "Willyoutryandseeifyoucan'tthinkofmeassomethingmorethanjustadollar–chasingroughneck?" "Oh,mydear,Ihaven'tbeenjust!IAMdifficile.AndIwon'tcallontheDillons!AndifDr.DillonisworkingforWestlakeandMcGanum,Ihatehim!" 
