"Don'tI,inlookingforthingstodo,showthatI'mnotattentiveenoughtoWill?AmIimpressedenoughbyhiswork?Iwillbe.Oh,Iwillbe.IfIcan'tbeoneofthetown,ifImustbeanoutcast—" WhenKennicottcamehomeshebustled,"Dear,youmusttellmealotmoreaboutyourcases.Iwanttoknow.Iwanttounderstand." "Sure.Youbet."Andhewentdowntofixthefurnace. Atsuppersheasked,"Forinstance,whatdidyoudotoday?" "Medically.Iwanttounderstand—" "Today?Oh,therewasn'tmuchofanything:couplechumpswithbellyaches,andasprainedwrist,andafoolwomanthatthinksshewantstokillherselfbecauseherhusbanddoesn'tlikeherand—Justroutinework." "Buttheunhappywomandoesn'tsoundroutine!" "Her?Justcaseofnerves.Youcan'tdomuchwiththesemarriagemix–ups." "Butdear,PLEASE,willyoutellmeaboutthenextcasethatyoudothinkisinteresting?" "Sure.Youbet.Tellyouaboutanythingthat—Saythat'sprettygoodsalmon.GetitatHowland's?" FourdaysaftertheJollySeventeendebacleVidaSherwincalledandcasuallyblewCarol'sworldtopieces. "MayIcomeinandgossipawhile?"shesaid,withsuchexcessofbrightinnocencethatCarolwasuneasy. Vidatookoffherfurswithabounce,shesatdownasthoughitwereagymnasiumexercise,sheflungout: "Feeldisgracefullygood,thisweather!RaymondWutherspoonsaysifhehadmyenergyhe'dbeagrandoperasinger. Ialwaysthinkthisclimateisthefinestintheworld,andmyfriendsarethedearestpeopleintheworld,andmyworkisthemostessentialthingintheworld.ProbablyIfoolmyself. ButIknowonethingforcertain:You'rethepluckiestlittleidiotintheworld." "Andsoyouareabouttoflaymealive."Carolwascheerfulaboutit. I'vebeenwondering—Iknowthatthethirdpartytoasquabbleisoftenthemosttoblame:theonewhorunsbetweenAandBhavingabeautifultimetellingeachofthemwhattheotherhassaid. ButIwantyoutotakeabigpartinvitalizingGopherPrairieandso—Suchaveryuniqueopportunityand—AmIsilly?" "Iknowwhatyoumean.IwastooabruptattheJollySeventeen." "Itisn'tthat.Matteroffact,I'mgladyoutoldthemsomewholesometruthsaboutservants. (Thoughperhapsyouwerejustabittactless.)It'sbiggerthanthat. Iwonderifyouunderstandthatinasecludedcommunitylikethiseverynewcomerisontest? Peoplecordialtoherbutwatchingherallthetime. IrememberwhenaLatinteachercameherefromWellesley,theyresentedherbroadA.Weresureitwasaffected.Ofcoursetheyhavediscussedyou—" "Havetheytalkedaboutmemuch?" "IalwaysfeelasthoughIwalkedaroundinacloud,lookingoutatothersbutnotbeingseen. Ifeelsoinconspicuousandsonormal—sonormalthatthere'snothingaboutmetodiscuss. Ican'trealizethatMr.andMrs.Haydockmustgossipaboutme." Carolwasworkingupasmallpassionofdistaste."AndIdon'tlikeit. ItmakesmecrawlytothinkoftheirdaringtotalkoverallIdoandsay.Pawingmeover!Iresentit.Ihate—" "Wait,child!Perhapstheyresentsomethingsinyou.Iwantyoutotryandbeimpersonal.They'dpawoveranybodywhocameinnew.Didn'tyou,withnewcomersinCollege?" "Wellthen!Willyoubeimpersonal?I'mpayingyouthecomplimentofsupposingthatyoucanbe.Iwantyoutobebigenoughtohelpmemakethistownworthwhile." "I'llbeasimpersonalascoldboiledpotatoes.(NotthatIshalleverbeabletohelpyou'makethetownworthwhile.')Whatdotheysayaboutme?Really.Iwanttoknow." "OfcoursetheilliterateonesresentyourreferencestoanythingfartherawaythanMinneapolis.They'resosuspicious—that'sit,suspicious.Andsomethinkyoudresstoowell." "Oh,theydo,dothey!ShallIdressingunny–sackingtosuitthem?" "Please!Areyougoingtobeababy?" "Youcertainlywill,orIwon'ttellyouonesinglething. Youmustunderstandthis:I'mnotaskingyoutochangeyourself.Justwantyoutoknowwhattheythink. Youmustdothat,nomatterhowabsurdtheirprejudicesare,ifyou'regoingtohandlethem. Isityourambitiontomakethisabettertown,orisn'tit?" "Idon'tknowwhetheritisornot!" "Why—why—Tut,tut,now,ofcourseitis!Why,Idependonyou.You'reabornreformer." "Oh,ifIreallycouldhelp—SotheythinkI'maffected?" "Mylamb,theydo!Nowdon'tsaythey'renervy. Afterall,GopherPrairiestandardsareasreasonabletoGopherPrairieasLakeShoreDrivestandardsaretoChicago. Andthere'smoreGopherPrairiesthanthereareChicagos.OrLondons. And—I'lltellyouthewholestory:Theythinkyou'reshowingoffwhenyousay'American'insteadof'Ammurrican.'Theythinkyou'retoofrivolous. Life'ssoserioustothemthattheycan'timagineanykindoflaughterexceptJuanita'ssnortling. EthelVilletswassureyouwerepatronizingherwhen—" "—youtalkedaboutencouragingreading;andMrs.Elderthoughtyouwerepatronizingwhenyousaidshehad'suchaprettylittlecar.'Shethinksit'sanenormouscar! Andsomeofthemerchantssayyou'retooflipwhenyoutalktotheminthestoreand—" "Poorme,whenIwastryingtobefriendly!" "—everyhousewifeintownisdoubtfulaboutyourbeingsochummywithyourBea. Allrighttobekind,buttheysayyouactasthoughshewereyourcousin.(Waitnow!There'splentymore.) Andtheythinkyouwereeccentricinfurnishingthisroom—theythinkthebroadcouchandthatJapanesedingusareabsurd.(Wait!Iknowthey'resilly.) AndIguessI'veheardadozencriticizeyoubecauseyoudon'tgotochurchoftenerand—" "Ican'tstandit—Ican'tbeartorealizethatthey'vebeensayingallthesethingswhileI'vebeengoingaboutsohappilyandlikingthem.Iwonderifyououghttohavetoldme?Itwillmakemeself–conscious." "Iwonderthesamething.OnlyanswerIcangetistheoldsawaboutknowledgebeingpower. Andsomedayyou'llseehowabsorbingitistohavepower,evenhere;tocontrolthetown—Oh,I'macrank.ButIdoliketoseethingsmoving." "Ithurts.Itmakesthesepeopleseemsobeastlyandtreacherous,whenI'vebeenperfectlynaturalwiththem.Butlet'shaveitall.WhatdidtheysayaboutmyChinesehouse–warmingparty?" "Goon.OrI'llmakeupworsethingsthananythingyoucantellme." "Theydidenjoyit.ButIguesssomeofthemfeltyouwereshowingoff—pretendingthatyourhusbandisricherthanheis." "Ican't—TheirmeannessofmindisbeyondanyhorrorsIcouldimagine. TheyreallythoughtthatI—Andyouwantto'reform'peoplelikethatwhendynamiteissocheap?Whodaredtosaythat?Therichorthepoor?" "Can'ttheyatleastunderstandmewellenoughtoseethatthoughImightbeaffectedandculturine,atleastIsimplycouldn'tcommitthatotherkindofvulgarity? Iftheymustknow,youmaytellthem,withmycompliments,thatWillmakesaboutfourthousandayear,andthepartycosthalfofwhattheyprobablythoughtitdid. Chinesethingsarenotveryexpensive,andImademyowncostume—" "Stopit!Stopbeatingme!Iknowallthat. Whattheymeantwas:theyfeltyouwerestartingdangerouscompetitionbygivingapartysuchasmostpeopleherecan'tafford. Fourthousandisaprettybigincomeforthistown." "Ineverthoughtofstartingcompetition. WillyoubelievethatitwasinallloveandfriendlinessthatItriedtogivethemthegayestpartyIcould? Itwasfoolish;itwaschildishandnoisy.ButIdidmeanitsowell." "Iknow,ofcourse.AnditcertainlyisunfairofthemtomakefunofyourhavingthatChinesefood—chowmen,wasit?—andtolaughaboutyourwearingthoseprettytrousers—" Carolsprangup,whimpering,"Oh,theydidn'tdothat! Theydidn'tpokefunatmyfeast,thatIorderedsocarefullyforthem! AndmylittleChinesecostumethatIwassohappymaking—Imadeitsecretly,tosurprisethem. Andthey'vebeenridiculingit,allthiswhile!" Vidawasstrokingherhair,muttering,"Ishouldn't—" Shroudedinshame,CaroldidnotknowwhenVidaslippedaway. Theclock'sbell,athalfpastfive,arousedher. "ImustgetholdofmyselfbeforeWillcomes. Ihopeheneverknowswhatafoolhiswifeis....Frozen,sneering,horriblehearts." Likeaverysmall,verylonelygirlshetrudgedup–stairs,slowstepbystep,herfeetdragging,herhandontherail. Itwasnotherhusbandtowhomshewantedtorunforprotection—itwasherfather,hersmilingunderstandingfather,deadthesetwelveyears. Kennicottwasyawning,stretchedinthelargestchair,betweentheradiatorandasmallkerosenestove. Cautiously,"Willdear,Iwonderifthepeopleheredon'tcriticizemesometimes?Theymust.Imean:iftheyeverdo,youmustn'tletitbotheryou." "Criticizeyou?Lord,Ishouldsaynot.Theyallkeeptellingmeyou'retheswellestgirltheyeversaw." "Well,I'vejustfancied—ThemerchantsprobablythinkI'mtoofussyaboutshopping.I'mafraidIboreMr.DashawayandMr.HowlandandMr.Ludelmeyer." "Icantellyouhowthatis.Ididn'twanttospeakofitbutsinceyou'vebroughtitup:ChetDashawayprobablyresentsthefactthatyougotthisnewfurnituredownintheCitiesinsteadofhere. Ididn'twanttoraiseanyobjectionatthetimebut—Afterall,Imakemymoneyhereandtheynaturallyexpectmetospendithere." "IfMr.Dashawaywillkindlytellmehowanycivilizedpersoncanfurnisharoomoutofthemortuarypiecesthathecalls—"Sheremembered.Shesaidmeekly,"ButIunderstand." "AndHowlandandLudelmeyer—Oh,you'veprobablyhanded'emafewroastsforthebumstockstheycarry,whenyoujustmeanttojolly'em.Butrats,whatdowecare! Thisisanindependenttown,notliketheseEasternholeswhereyouhavetowatchyourstepallthetime,andliveuptofooldemandsandsocialcustoms,andalotofoldtabbiesalwaysbusycriticizing. Everybody'sfreeheretodowhathewantsto." Hesaiditwithaflourish,andCarolperceivedthathebelievedit. Sheturnedherbreathoffuryintoayawn. "Bytheway,Carrie,whilewe'retalkingofthis:OfcourseIliketokeepindependent,andIdon'tbelieveinthisbusinessofbindingyourselftotradewiththemanthattradeswithyouunlessyoureallywantto,butsametime:I'dbejustasgladifyoudealtwithJensonorLudelmeyerasmuchasyouran,insteadofHowland&Gould,whogotoDr.Gouldeverylasttime,andthewholetribeof'emthesameway. Idon'tseewhyIshouldbepayingoutmygoodmoneyforgroceriesandhavingthempassitontoTerryGould!" "I'vegonetoHowland&Gouldbecausethey'rebetter,andcleaner." "Iknow.Idon'tmeancutthemoutentirely. CourseJensonistricky—giveyoushortweight—andLudelmeyerisashiftlessoldDutchhog. Butsametime,Imeanlet'skeepthetradeinthefamilywheneveritisconvenient,seehowImean?" "Well,guessit'sabouttimetoturnin." Heyawned,wentouttolookatthethermometer,slammedthedoor,pattedherhead,unbuttonedhiswaistcoat,yawned,woundtheclock,wentdowntolookatthefurnace,yawned,andclumpedup–stairstobed,casuallyscratchinghisthickwoolenundershirt. Tillhebawled,"Aren'tyouevercominguptobed?"shesatunmoving. 
