English
I
WhenthefirstdubiousNovembersnowhadfiltereddown,shadingwithwhitethebareclodsintheplowedfields,whenthefirstsmallfirehadbeenstartedinthefurnace,whichistheshrineofaGopherPrairiehome,Carolbegantomakethehouseherown.
Shedismissedtheparlorfurniture—thegoldenoaktablewithbrassknobs,themoldybrocadechairs,thepictureof"TheDoctor."
ShewenttoMinneapolis,toscamperthroughdepartmentstoresandsmallTenthStreetshopsdevotedtoceramicsandhighthought.
Shehadtoshiphertreasures,butshewantedtobringthembackinherarms.
Carpentershadtornoutthepartitionbetweenfrontparlorandbackparlor,thrownitintoalongroomonwhichshelavishedyellowanddeepblue;aJapaneseobiwithanintricacyofgoldthreadonstiffultramarinetissue,whichshehungasapanelagainstthemaizewall;acouchwithpillowsofsapphirevelvetandgoldbands;chairswhich,inGopherPrairie,seemedflippant.
Shehidthesacredfamilyphonographinthedining–room,andreplaceditsstandwithasquarecabinetonwhichwasasquatbluejarbetweenyellowcandles.
Kennicottdecidedagainstafireplace."We'llhaveanewhouseinacoupleofyears,anyway."
Shedecoratedonlyoneroom.Therest,Kennicotthinted,she'dbetterleavetillhe"madeaten–strike."
Thebrowncubeofahousestirredandawakened;itseemedtobeinmotion;itwelcomedherbackfromshopping;itlostitsmildewedrepression.
ThesupremeverdictwasKennicott's"Well,bygolly,Iwasafraidthenewjunkwouldn'tbesocomfortable,butImustsaythisdivan,orwhateveryoucallit,isalotbetterthanthatbumpyoldsofawehad,andwhenIlookaround—Well,it'sworthallitcost,Iguess."
Everyoneintowntookaninterestintherefurnishing.
Thecarpentersandpainterswhodidnotactuallyassistcrossedthelawntopeerthroughthewindowsandexclaim,"Fine!Looksswell!"
DaveDyeratthedrugstore,HarryHaydockandRaymieWutherspoonattheBonTon,repeateddaily,"How'sthegoodworkcoming?
Ihearthehouseisgettingtoberealclassy."
EvenMrs.Bogart.
Mrs.BogartlivedacrossthealleyfromtherearofCarol'shouse.
Shewasawidow,andaProminentBaptist,andaGoodInfluence.
ShehadsopainfullyrearedthreesonstobeChristiangentlementhatoneofthemhadbecomeanOmahabartender,oneaprofessorofGreek,andone,CyrusN.Bogart,aboyoffourteenwhowasstillathome,themostbrazenmemberofthetoughestganginBoytown.
Mrs.BogartwasnottheacidtypeofGoodInfluence.
Shewasthesoft,damp,fat,sighing,indigestive,clinging,melancholy,depressinglyhopefulkind.
Thereareineverylargechicken–yardanumberofoldandindignanthenswhoresembleMrs.Bogart,andwhentheyareservedatSundaynoondinner,asfricasseedchickenwiththickdumplings,theykeepuptheresemblance.
CarolhadnotedthatMrs.Bogartfromhersidewindowkeptaneyeuponthehouse.
TheKennicottsandMrs.Bogartdidnotmoveinthesamesets—whichmeantpreciselythesameinGopherPrairieasitdidonFifthAvenueorinMayfair.Butthegoodwidowcamecalling.
Shewheezedin,sighed,gaveCarolapulpyhand,sighed,glancedsharplyattherevelationofanklesasCarolcrossedherlegs,sighed,inspectedthenewbluechairs,smiledwithacoysighingsound,andgavevoice:
"I'vewantedtocallonyousolong,dearie,youknowwe'reneighbors,butIthoughtI'dwaittillyougotsettled,youmustruninandseeme,howmuchdidthatbigchaircost?"
"Seventy–sevendollars!"
"Sev—Sakesalive!Well,Isupposeit'sallrightforthemthatcanaffordit,thoughIdosometimesthink—Ofcourseasourpastorsaidonce,atBaptistChurch—Bytheway,wehaven'tseenyouthereyet,andofcourseyourhusbandwasraisedupaBaptist,andIdohopehewon'tdriftawayfromthefold,ofcourseweallknowthereisn'tanything,notclevernessorgiftsofgoldoranything,thatcanmakeupforhumilityandtheinwardgraceandtheycansaywhattheywanttoabouttheP.E.church,butofcoursethere'snochurchthathasmorehistoryorhasstayedbythetrueprinciplesofChristianitybetterthantheBaptistChurchand—Inwhatchurchwereyouraised,Mrs.Kennicott?"
"W–why,IwenttoCongregational,asagirlinMankato,butmycollegewasUniversalist."
"Well—ButofcourseastheBiblesays,isittheBible,atleastIknowIhavehearditinchurchandeverybodyadmitsit,it'sproperforthelittlebridetotakeherhusband'svesseloffaith,soweallhopeweshallseeyouattheBaptistChurchand—AsIwassaying,ofcourseIagreewithReverendZitterelinthinkingthatthegreattroublewiththisnationtodayislackofspiritualfaith—sofewgoingtochurch,andpeopleautomobilingonSundayandheavenknowswhatall.
ButstillIdothinkthatonetroubleisthisterriblewasteofmoney,peoplefeelingthatthey'vegottohavebath–tubsandtelephonesintheirhouses—Iheardyouweresellingtheoldfurniturecheap."
"Yes!"
"Well—ofcourseyouknowyourownmind,butIcan'thelpthinking,whenWill'smawasdownherekeepinghouseforhim—SHEusedtorunintoSEEme,realOFTEN!—itwasgoodenoughfurnitureforher.
Butthere,there,Imustn'tcroak,Ijustwantedtoletyouknowthatwhenyoufindyoucan'tdependonalotofthesegaddingyoungfolksliketheHaydocksandtheDyers—andheavenonlyknowshowmuchmoneyJuanitaHaydockblowsininayear—whythenyoumaybegladtoknowthatslowoldAuntyBogartisalwaysrightthere,andheavenknows—"Aportentoussigh."
—IHOPEyouandyourhusbandwon'thaveanyofthetroubles,withsicknessandquarrelingandwastingmoneyandallthatsomanyoftheseyoungcouplesdohaveand—ButImustberunningalongnow,dearie.
It'sbeensuchapleasureand—Justruninandseemeanytime.IhopeWilliswell?Ithoughthelookedaweemitepeaked."
ItwastwentyminuteslaterwhenMrs.Bogartfinallyoozedoutofthefrontdoor.
Carolranbackintotheliving–roomandjerkedopenthewindows.
"Thatwomanhasleftdampfinger–printsintheair,"shesaid.
II
Carolwasextravagant,butatleastshedidnottrytoclearherselfofblamebygoingaboutwhimpering,"IknowI'mterriblyextravagantbutIdon'tseemtobeabletohelpit."
Kennicotthadneverthoughtofgivingheranallowance.Hismotherhadneverhadone!
Asawage–earningspinsterCarolhadassertedtoherfellowlibrariansthatwhenshewasmarried,shewasgoingtohaveanallowanceandbebusiness–likeandmodern.
ButitwastoomuchtroubletoexplaintoKennicott'skindlystubbornnessthatshewasapracticalhousekeeperaswellasaflightyplaymate.
Sheboughtabudget–planaccountbookandmadeherbudgetsasexactasbudgetsarelikelytobewhentheylackbudgets.
Forthefirstmonthitwasahoneymoonjesttobegprettily,toconfess,"Ihaven'tacentinthehouse,dear,"andtobetold,"You'reanextravagantlittlerabbit."
Butthebudgetbookmadeherrealizehowinexactwereherfinances.
Shebecameself–conscious;occasionallyshewasindignantthatsheshouldalwayshavetopetitionhimforthemoneywithwhichtobuyhisfood.
Shecaughtherselfcriticizinghisbeliefthat,sincehisjokeabouttryingtokeepheroutofthepoorhousehadoncebeenacceptedasadmirablehumor,itshouldcontinuetobehisdailybonmot.
Itwasanuisancetohavetorundownthestreetafterhimbecauseshehadforgottentoaskhimformoneyatbreakfast.
Butshecouldn't"hurthisfeelings,"shereflected.Helikedthelordlinessofgivinglargess.
Shetriedtoreducethefrequencyofbeggingbyopeningaccountsandhavingthebillssenttohim.
Shehadfoundthatstaplegroceries,sugar,flour,couldbemostcheaplypurchasedatAxelEgge'srusticgeneralstore.ShesaidsweetlytoAxel:
"IthinkI'dbetteropenachargeaccounthere."
"Idon'tdonobusinessexceptforcash,"gruntedAxel.
Sheflared,"DoyouknowwhoIam?"
"Yuh,sure,Iknow.Thedocisgoodforit.Butthat'syoostaruleImade.Imakelowprices.Idobusinessforcash."
Shestaredathisredimpassiveface,andherfingershadtheundignifieddesiretoslaphim,butherreasonagreedwithhim."You'requiteright.Youshouldn'tbreakyourruleforme."
Herragehadnotbeenlost.Ithadbeentransferredtoherhusband.
Shewantedtenpoundsofsugarinahurry,butshehadnomoney.
SheranupthestairstoKennicott'soffice.
Onthedoorwasasignadvertisingaheadachecureandstating,"Thedoctorisout,backat—"Naturally,theblankspacewasnotfilledout.Shestampedherfoot.
Sherandowntothedrugstore—thedoctor'sclub.
AssheenteredsheheardMrs.Dyerdemanding,"Dave,I'vegottohavesomemoney."
Carolsawthatherhusbandwasthere,andtwoothermen,alllisteninginamusement.
DaveDyersnapped,"Howmuchdoyouwant?Dollarbeenough?"
"No,itwon't!I'vegottogetsomeunderclothesforthekids."
"Why,goodLord,theygotenoughnowtofilltheclosetsoIcouldn'tfindmyhuntingboots,lasttimeIwantedthem."
"Idon'tcare.They'reallinrags.Yougottogivemetendollars—"
CarolperceivedthatMrs.Dyerwasaccustomedtothisindignity.
Sheperceivedthatthemen,particularlyDave,regardeditasanexcellentjest.
Shewaited—sheknewwhatwouldcome—itdid.
Daveyelped,"Where'sthattendollarsIgaveyoulastyear?"
andhelookedtotheothermentolaugh.Theylaughed.
Coldandstill,CarolwalkeduptoKennicottandcommanded,"Iwanttoseeyouupstairs."
"Why—somethingthematter?"
"Yes!"
Heclumpedafterher,upthestairs,intohisbarrenoffice.Beforehecouldgetoutaqueryshestated:
"Yesterday,infrontofasaloon,IheardaGermanfarm–wifebegherhusbandforaquarter,togetatoyforthebaby—andherefused.
JustnowI'veheardMrs.Dyergoingthroughthesamehumiliation.AndI—I'minthesameposition!Ihavetobegyouformoney.Daily!
IhavejustbeeninformedthatIcouldn'thaveanysugarbecauseIhadn'tthemoneytopayforit!"
"Whosaidthat?ByGod,I'llkillany—"
"Tut.Itwasn'thisfault.Itwasyours.Andmine.
Inowhumblybegyoutogivemethemoneywithwhichtobuymealsforyoutoeat.Andhereaftertorememberit.Thenexttime,Isha'n'tbeg.Ishallsimplystarve.Doyouunderstand?Ican'tgoonbeingaslave—"
Herdefiance,herenjoymentoftherole,ranout.
Shewassobbingagainsthisovercoat,"Howcanyoushamemeso?"
andhewasblubbering,"Dog–goneit,Imeanttogiveyousome,andIforgotit.IswearIwon'tagain.BygollyIwon't!"
Hepressedfiftydollarsuponher,andafterthatherememberedtogivehermoneyregularly...sometimes.
Dailyshedetermined,"ButImusthaveastatedamount—bebusiness–like.System.Imustdosomethingaboutit."Anddailyshedidn'tdoanythingaboutit.
III
Mrs.Bogarthad,bythesimperingviciousnessofhercommentsonthenewfurniture,stirredCaroltoeconomy.
ShespokejudiciouslytoBeaaboutleft–overs.
Shereadthecookbookagainand,likeachildwithapicture–book,shestudiedthediagramofthebeefwhichgallantlycontinuestobrowsethoughitisdividedintocuts.
Butshewasadeliberateandjoyousspendthriftinherpreparationsforherfirstparty,thehousewarming.
Shemadelistsoneveryenvelopeandlaundry–slipinherdesk.
ShesentorderstoMinneapolis"fancygrocers."Shepinnedpatternsandsewed.
ShewasirritatedwhenKennicottwasjocularabout"thesefrightfulbigdoingsthataregoingon."
SheregardedtheaffairasanattackonGopherPrairie'stimidityinpleasure."I'llmake'emlively,ifnothingelse.
I'llmake'emstopregardingpartiesascommittee–meetings."
Kennicottusuallyconsideredhimselfthemasterofthehouse.
Athisdesire,shewenthunting,whichwashissymbolofhappiness,andsheorderedporridgeforbreakfast,whichwashissymbolofmorality.
Butwhenhecamehomeontheafternoonbeforethehousewarminghefoundhimselfaslave,anintruder,ablunderer.
Carolwailed,"Fixthefurnacesoyouwon'thavetotouchitaftersupper.
Andforheaven'ssaketakethathorribleolddoor–matofftheporch.
Andputonyournicebrownandwhiteshirt.Whydidyoucomehomesolate?Wouldyoumindhurrying?
Hereitisalmostsuppertime,andthosefiendsarejustaslikelyasnottocomeatseveninsteadofeight.PLEASEhurry!"
Shewasasunreasonableasanamateurleadingwomanonafirstnight,andhewasreducedtohumility.
Whenshecamedowntosupper,whenshestoodinthedoorway,hegasped.
Shewasinasilversheath,thecalyxofalily,herpiledhairlikeblackglass;shehadthefragilityandcostlinessofaViennesegoblet;andhereyeswereintense.
Hewasstirredtorisefromthetableandtoholdthechairforher;andallthroughsupperheatehisbreaddrybecausehefeltthatshewouldthinkhimcommonifhesaid"Willyouhandmethebutter?"
IV
Shehadreachedthecalmnessofnotcaringwhetherherguestslikedthepartyornot,andastateofsatisfiedsuspenseinregardtoBea'stechniqueinserving,beforeKennicottcriedfromthebay–windowintheliving–room,"Herecomessomebody!"
andMr.andMrs.LukeDawsonfalteredin,ataquartertoeight.
TheninashyavalanchearrivedtheentirearistocracyofGopherPrairie:allpersonsengagedinaprofession,orearningmorethantwenty–fivehundreddollarsayear,orpossessedofgrandparentsborninAmerica.
Evenwhiletheywereremovingtheirovershoestheywerepeepingatthenewdecorations.
CarolsawDaveDyersecretivelyturnoverthegoldpillowstofindaprice–tag,andheardMr.JuliusFlickerbaugh,theattorney,gasp,"Well,I'llbeswitched,"asheviewedthevermilionprinthangingagainsttheJapaneseobi.Shewasamused.
Butherhighspiritsslackenedasshebeheldthemformindressparade,inalong,silent,uneasycircleclearroundtheliving–room.
Shefeltthatshehadbeenmagicallywhiskedbacktoherfirstparty,atSamClark's.
"HaveIgottoliftthem,likesomanypigsofiron?Idon'tknowthatIcanmakethemhappy,butI'llmakethemhectic."
Asilverflameinthedarklingcircle,shewhirledaround,drewthemwithhersmile,andsang,"Iwantmypartytobenoisyandundignified!
Thisisthechristeningofmyhouse,andIwantyoutohelpmehaveabadinfluenceonit,sothatitwillbeagiddyhouse.
Forme,won'tyoualljoininanold–fashionedsquaredance?AndMr.Dyerwillcall."
Shehadarecordonthephonograph;DaveDyerwascaperinginthecenterofthefloor,loose–jointed,lean,small,rustyheaded,pointedofnose,clappinghishandsandshouting,"Swingy'pardners—alamunlef!"
EventhemillionaireDawsonsandEzraStowbodyand"Professor"GeorgeEdwinMottdanced,lookingonlyslightlyfoolish;andbyrushingabouttheroomandbeingcoyandcoaxingtoallpersonsoverforty–five,CarolgotthemintoawaltzandaVirginiaReel.
ButwhensheleftthemtodisenjoythemselvesintheirownwayHarryHaydockputaone–steprecordonthephonograph,theyoungerpeopletookthefloor,andalltheelderssneakedbacktotheirchairs,withcrystallizedsmileswhichmeant,"Don'tbelieveI'lltrythisonemyself,butIdoenjoywatchingtheyoungstersdance."
Halfofthemweresilent;halfresumedthediscussionsofthatafternooninthestore.
EzraStowbodyhuntedforsomethingtosay,hidayawn,andofferedtoLymanCass,theowneroftheflour–mill,"Howd'youfolkslikethenewfurnace,Lym?Huh?So."
"Oh,letthemalone.Don'tpesterthem.
Theymustlikeit,ortheywouldn'tdoit."Carolwarnedherself.
Buttheygazedathersoexpectantlywhensheflickeredpastthatshewasreconvincedthatintheirdebauchesofrespectabilitytheyhadlostthepowerofplayaswellasthepowerofimpersonalthought.
Eventhedancersweregraduallycrushedbytheinvisibleforceoffiftyperfectlypureandwell–behavedandnegativeminds;andtheysatdown,twobytwo.
Intwentyminutesthepartywasagainelevatedtothedecorumofaprayer–meeting.
"We'regoingtodosomethingexciting,"Carolexclaimedtohernewconfidante,VidaSherwin.
Shesawthatinthegrowingquiethervoicehadcarriedacrosstheroom.
NatHicks,EllaStowbody,andDaveDyerwereabstracted,fingersandlipsslightlymoving.
SheknewwithacoldcertaintythatDavewasrehearsinghis"stunt"abouttheNorwegiancatchingthehen,Ellarunningoverthefirstlinesof"AnOldSweetheartofMine,"andNatthinkingofhispopularparodyonMarkAntony'soration.
"ButIwillnothaveanybodyusetheword'stunt'inmyhouse,"shewhisperedtoMissSherwin.
"That'sgood.Itellyou:whynothaveRaymondWutherspoonsing?"
"Raymie?Why,mydear,he'sthemostsentimentalyearnerintown!"
"Seehere,child!Youropinionsonhouse–decoratingaresound,butyouropinionsofpeoplearerotten!Raymiedoeswaghistail.
Butthepoordear—Longingforwhathecalls'self–expression'andnotraininginanythingexceptsellingshoes.Buthecansing.
AndsomedaywhenhegetsawayfromHarryHaydock'spatronageandridicule,he'lldosomethingfine."
Carolapologizedforhersuperciliousness.
SheurgedRaymie,andwarnedtheplannersof"stunts,""Weallwantyoutosing,Mr.Wutherspoon.
You'retheonlyfamousactorI'mgoingtoletappearonthestagetonight."
WhileRaymieblushedandadmitted,"Oh,theydon'twanttohearme,"hewasclearinghisthroat,pullinghiscleanhandkerchieffartheroutofhisbreastpocket,andthrustinghisfingersbetweenthebuttonsofhisvest.
InheraffectionforRaymie'sdefender,inherdesireto"discoverartistictalent,"Carolpreparedtobedelightedbytherecital.
Raymiesang"FlyasaBird,""ThouArtMyDove,"and"WhentheLittleSwallowLeavesItsTinyNest,"allinareasonablybadoffertorytenor.
Carolwasshudderingwiththevicariousshamewhichsensitivepeoplefeelwhentheylistentoan"elocutionist"beinghumorous,ortoaprecociouschildpubliclydoingbadlywhatnochildshoulddoatall.
ShewantedtolaughatthegratifiedimportanceinRaymie'shalf–shuteyes;shewantedtoweepoverthemeekambitiousnesswhichcloudedlikeanaurahispaleface,flapears,andsandypompadour.
Shetriedtolookadmiring,forthebenefitofMissSherwin,thattrustingadmirerofallthatwasorconceivablycouldbethegood,thetrue,andthebeautiful.
AttheendofthethirdornithologicallyricMissSherwinrousedfromherattitudeofinspiredvisionandbreathedtoCarol,"My!Thatwassweet!
OfcourseRaymondhasn'tanunusuallygoodvoice,butdon'tyouthinkheputssuchalotoffeelingintoit?"
Carolliedblacklyandmagnificently,butwithoutoriginality:"Ohyes,IdothinkhehassomuchFEELING!"
Shesawthatafterthestrainoflisteninginaculturedmannertheaudiencehadcollapsed;hadgivenuptheirlasthopeofbeingamused.
Shecried,"Nowwe'regoingtoplayanidioticgamewhichIlearnedinChicago.
Youwillhavetotakeoffyourshoes,forastarter!
Afterthatyouwillprobablybreakyourkneesandshoulder–blades."
Muchattentionandincredulity.AfeweyebrowsindicatingaverdictthatDocKennicott'sbridewasnoisyandimproper.
"Ishallchoosethemostvicious,likeJuanitaHaydockandmyself,astheshepherds.Therestofyouarewolves.Yourshoesarethesheep.Thewolvesgooutintothehall.
Theshepherdsscatterthesheepthroughthisroom,thenturnoffallthelights,andthewolvescrawlinfromthehallandinthedarknesstheytrytogettheshoesawayfromtheshepherds—whoarepermittedtodoanythingexceptbiteanduseblack–jacks.
Thewolveschuckthecapturedshoesoutintothehall.Nooneexcused!Comeon!Shoesoff!"
Everyonelookedateveryoneelseandwaitedforeveryoneelsetobegin.
Carolkickedoffhersilverslippers,andignoredtheuniversalglanceatherarches.
TheembarrassedbutloyalVidaSherwinunbuttonedherhighblackshoes.
EzraStowbodycackled,"Well,you'reaterrortooldfolks.
You'relikethegalsIusedtogohorseback–ridingwith,backinthesixties.
Ain'tmuchaccustomedtoattendingpartiesbarefoot,butheregoes!"
WithawhoopandagallantjerkEzrasnatchedoffhiselastic–sidedCongressshoes.
Theothersgiggledandfollowed.
Whenthesheephadbeenpennedup,inthedarknessthetimorouswolvescreptintotheliving–room,squealing,halting,thrownoutoftheirhabitofstoliditybythestrangenessofadvancingthroughnothingnesstowardawaitingfoe,amysteriousfoewhichexpandedandgrewmoremenacing.
Thewolvespeeredtomakeoutlandmarks,theytouchedglidingarmswhichdidnotseemtobeattachedtoabody,theyquiveredwitharaptureoffear.Realityhadvanished.
Ayelpingsquabblesuddenlyrose,thenJuanitaHaydock'shightitter,andGuyPollock'sastonished,"Ouch!Quit!You'rescalpingme!"
Mrs.LukeDawsongallopedbackwardonstiffhandsandkneesintothesafetyofthelightedhallway,moaning,"Ideclare,Inev'wassoupsetinmylife!"
Buttheproprietywasshakenoutofher,andshedelightedlycontinuedtoejaculate"Nev'inmyLIFE"asshesawtheliving–roomdooropenedbyinvisiblehandsandshoeshurlingthroughit,assheheardfromthedarknessbeyondthedoorasquawling,abumping,aresolute"Here'salotofshoes.Comeon,youwolves.Ow!Y'would,wouldyou!"
WhenCarolabruptlyturnedonthelightsintheembattledliving–room,halfofthecompanyweresittingbackagainstthewalls,wheretheyhadcraftilyremainedthroughouttheengagement,butinthemiddleofthefloorKennicottwaswrestlingwithHarryHaydock—theircollarstornoff,theirhairintheireyes;andtheowlishMr.JuliusFlickerbaughwasretreatingfromJuanitaHaydock,andgulpingwithunaccustomedlaughter.
GuyPollock'sdiscreetbrownscarfhungdownhisback.
YoungRitaSimons'snetblousehadlosttwobuttons,andbetrayedmoreofherdeliciousplumpshoulderthanwasregardedaspureinGopherPrairie.
Whetherbyshock,disgust,joyofcombat,orphysicalactivity,allthepartywerefreedfromtheiryearsofsocialdecorum.
GeorgeEdwinMottgiggled;LukeDawsontwistedhisbeard;Mrs.Clarkinsisted,"Ididtoo,Sam—Igotashoe—IneverknewIcouldfightsoterrible!"
Carolwascertainthatshewasagreatreformer.
Shemercifullyhadcombs,mirrors,brushes,needleandthreadready.Shepermittedthemtorestorethedivinedecencyofbuttons.
ThegrinningBeabroughtdown–stairsapileofsoftthicksheetsofpaperwithdesignsoflotosblossoms,dragons,apes,incobaltandcrimsonandgray,andpatternsofpurplebirdsflyingamongsea–greentreesinthevalleysofNowhere.
"These,"Carolannounced,"arerealChinesemasqueradecostumes.
IgotthemfromanimportingshopinMinneapolis.
Youaretoputthemonoveryourclothes,andpleaseforgetthatyouareMinnesotans,andturnintomandarinsandcooliesand—andsamurai(isn'tit?),andanythingelseyoucanthinkof."
Whiletheywereshylyrustlingthepapercostumesshedisappeared.
TenminutesaftershegazeddownfromthestairsupongrotesquelyruddyYankeeheadsaboveOrientalrobes,andcriedtothem,"ThePrincessWinkyPoosaluteshercourt!"
Astheylookedupshecaughttheirsuspenseofadmiration.
Theysawanairyfigureintrousersandcoatofgreenbrocadeedgedwithgold;ahighgoldcollarunderaproudchin;blackhairpiercedwithjadepins;alanguidpeacockfaninanout–stretchedhand;eyesupliftedtoavisionofpagodatowers.
WhenshedroppedherposeandsmileddownshediscoveredKennicottapoplecticwithdomesticpride—andgrayGuyPollockstaringbeseechingly.
Forasecondshesawnothinginallthepinkandbrownmassoftheirfacessavethehungerofthetwomen.
Sheshookoffthespellandrandown."We'regoingtohavearealChineseconcert.Messrs.Pollock,Kennicott,and,well,Stowbodyaredrummers;therestofussingandplaythefife."
Thefifeswerecombswithtissuepaper;thedrumsweretabouretsandthesewing–table.
LorenWheeler,editoroftheDauntless,ledtheorchestra,witharulerandatotallyinaccuratesenseofrhythm.
Themusicwasareminiscenceoftom–tomsheardatcircusfortune–tellingtentsorattheMinnesotaStateFair,butthewholecompanypoundedandpuffedandwhinedinasing–song,andlookedrapturous.
BeforetheywerequitetiredoftheconcertCarolledtheminadancingprocessiontothedining–room,tobluebowlsofchowmein,withLicheenutsandgingerpreservedinsyrup.
Noneofthemsavethatcity–rounderHarryHaydockhadheardofanyChinesedishexceptchopsooey.
Withagreeabledoubttheyventuredthroughthebambooshootsintothegoldenfriednoodlesofthechowmein;andDaveDyerdidanotveryhumorousChinesedancewithNatHicks;andtherewashubbubandcontentment.
Carolrelaxed,andfoundthatshewasshockinglytired.
Shehadcarriedthemonherthinshoulders.Shecouldnotkeepitup.
Shelongedforherfather,thatartistatcreatinghystericalparties.
Shethoughtofsmokingacigarette,toshockthem,anddismissedtheobscenethoughtbeforeitwasquiteformed.
ShewonderedwhethertheycouldforfiveminutesbecoaxedtotalkaboutsomethingbesidesthewintertopofKnuteStamquist'sFord,andwhatAlTingleyhadsaidabouthismother–in–law.Shesighed,"Oh,let'emalone.I'vedoneenough."
Shecrossedhertrouseredlegs,andsnuggledluxuriouslyabovehersaucerofginger;shecaughtPollock'scongratulatorystillsmile,andthoughtwellofherselfforhavingthrownaroselightonthepallidlawyer;repentedthehereticalsuppositionthatanymalesaveherhusbandexisted;jumpeduptofindKennicottandwhisper,"Happy,mylord?...No,itdidn'tcostmuch!"
"Bestpartythistowneversaw.Only—Don'tcrossyourlegsinthatcostume.Showsyourkneestooplain."
Shewasvexed.Sheresentedhisclumsiness.
ShereturnedtoGuyPollockandtalkedofChinesereligions—notthatsheknewanythingwhateveraboutChinesereligions,buthehadreadabookonthesubjectas,onlonelyeveningsinhisoffice,hehadreadatleastonebookoneverysubjectintheworld.
Guy'sthinmaturitywaschanginginhervisiontoflushedyouthandtheywereroaminganislandintheyellowseaofchatterwhensherealizedthattheguestswerebeginningthatcoughwhichindicated,intheuniversalinstinctivelanguage,thattheydesiredtogohomeandgotobed.
Whiletheyassertedthatithadbeen"thenicestpartythey'deverseen—my!
socleverandoriginal,"shesmiledtremendously,shookhands,andcriedmanysuitablethingsregardingchildren,andbeingsuretowrapupwarmly,andRaymie'ssingingandJuanitaHaydock'sprowessatgames.
ThensheturnedwearilytoKennicottinahousefilledwithquietandcrumbsandshredsofChinesecostumes.
Hewasgurgling,"Itellyou,Carrie,youcertainlyareawonder,andguessyou'rerightaboutwakingfolksup.
Nowyou'veshowed'emhow,theywon'tgoonhavingthesameoldkindofpartiesandstuntsandeverything.Here!Don'ttouchathing!Doneenough.Popuptobed,andI'llclearup."
Hiswisesurgeon's–handsstrokedhershoulder,andherirritationathisclumsinesswaslostinhisstrength.
V
FromtheWeeklyDauntless:
OneofthemostdelightfulsocialeventsofrecentmonthswasheldWednesdayeveninginthehousewarmingofDr.andMrs.Kennicott,whohavecompletelyredecoratedtheircharminghomeonPoplarStreet,andisnowextremelyniftyinmoderncolorscheme.
Thedoctorandhisbridewereathometotheirnumerousfriendsandanumberofnoveltiesindiversionswereheld,includingaChineseorchestrainoriginalandgenuineOrientalcostumes,ofwhichYeEditorwasleader.
DaintyrefreshmentswereservedintrueOrientalstyle,andoneandallvotedadelightfultime.
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Theweekafter,theChetDashawaysgaveaparty.Thecircleofmournerskeptitsplaceallevening,andDaveDyerdidthe"stunt"oftheNorwegianandthehen.
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