"Jo,I'manxiousaboutBeth." "Why,Mother,shehasseemedunusuallywellsincethebabiescame." "It'snotherhealththattroublesmenow,it'sherspirits.I'msurethereissomethingonhermind,andIwantyoutodiscoverwhatitis." "Whatmakesyouthinkso,Mother?" "Shesitsaloneagooddeal,anddoesn'ttalktoherfatherasmuchassheused. Ifoundhercryingoverthebabiestheotherday. Whenshesings,thesongsarealwayssadones,andnowandthenIseealookinherfacethatIdon'tunderstand. Thisisn'tlikeBeth,anditworriesme." "Haveyouaskedheraboutit?" "Ihavetriedonceortwice,butsheeitherevadedmyquestionsorlookedsodistressedthatIstopped.Ineverforcemychildren'sconfidence,andIseldomhavetowaitforlong." Mrs.MarchglancedatJoasshespoke,butthefaceoppositeseemedquiteunconsciousofanysecretdisquietudebutBeth's,andaftersewingthoughtfullyforaminute,Josaid,"Ithinksheisgrowingup,andsobeginstodreamdreams,andhavehopesandfearsandfidgets,withoutknowingwhyorbeingabletoexplainthem. Why,Mother,Beth'seighteen,butwedon'trealizeit,andtreatherlikeachild,forgettingshe'sawoman." "Sosheis.Dearheart,howfastyoudogrowup,"returnedhermotherwithasighandasmile. "Can'tbehelped,Marmee,soyoumustresignyourselftoallsortsofworries,andletyourbirdshopoutofthenest,onebyone.Ipromisenevertohopveryfar,ifthatisanycomforttoyou." "It'sagreatcomfort,Jo.Ialwaysfeelstrongwhenyouareathome,nowMegisgone.BethistoofeebleandAmytooyoungtodependupon,butwhenthetugcomes,youarealwaysready." "Why,youknowIdon'tmindhardjobsmuch,andtheremustalwaysbeonescrubinafamily. AmyissplendidinfineworksandI'mnot,butIfeelinmyelementwhenallthecarpetsaretobetakenup,orhalfthefamilyfallsickatonce. Amyisdistinguishingherselfabroad,butifanythingisamissathome,I'myourman." "IleaveBethtoyourhands,then,forshewillopenhertenderlittlehearttoherJosoonerthantoanyoneelse. Beverykind,anddon'tletherthinkanyonewatchesortalksabouther. Ifsheonlywouldgetquitestrongandcheerfulagain,Ishouldn'thaveawishintheworld." "Happywoman!I'vegotheaps." "I'llsettleBethy'stroubles,andthenI'lltellyoumine. Theyarenotverywearing,sothey'llkeep." andJostitchedaway,withawisenodwhichsethermother'sheartatrestaboutherforthepresentatleast. Whileapparentlyabsorbedinherownaffairs,JowatchedBeth,andaftermanyconflictingconjectures,finallysettledupononewhichseemedtoexplainthechangeinher. AslightincidentgaveJothecluetothemystery,shethought,andlivelyfancy,lovingheartdidtherest. ShewasaffectingtowritebusilyoneSaturdayafternoon,whensheandBethwerealonetogether. Yetasshescribbled,shekepthereyeonhersister,whoseemedunusuallyquiet. Sittingatthewindow,Beth'sworkoftendroppedintoherlap,andsheleanedherheaduponherhand,inadejectedattitude,whilehereyesrestedonthedull,autumnallandscape. Suddenlysomeonepassedbelow,whistlinglikeanoperaticblackbird,andavoicecalledout,"Allserene!Comingintonight." Bethstarted,leanedforward,smiledandnodded,watchedthepasser–bytillhisquicktrampdiedaway,thensaidsoftlyasiftoherself,"Howstrongandwellandhappythatdearboylooks." "Hum!"saidJo,stillintentuponhersister'sface,forthebrightcolorfadedasquicklyasitcame,thesmilevanished,andpresentlyatearlayshiningonthewindowledge. Bethwhiskeditoff,andinherhalf–avertedfacereadatendersorrowthatmadeherowneyesfill. Fearingtobetrayherself,sheslippedaway,murmuringsomethingaboutneedingmorepaper. "Mercyonme,BethlovesLaurie!"shesaid,sittingdowninherownroom,palewiththeshockofthediscoverywhichshebelievedshehadjustmade."Ineverdreamedofsuchathing.WhatwillMothersay? Iwonderifher..."thereJostoppedandturnedscarletwithasuddenthought. "Ifheshouldn'tlovebackagain,howdreadfulitwouldbe.Hemust.I'llmakehim!" andsheshookherheadthreateninglyatthepictureofthemischievous–lookingboylaughingatherfromthewall. "Ohdear,wearegrowingupwithavengeance. Here'sMegmarriedandamamma,AmyflourishingawayatParis,andBethinlove. I'mtheonlyonethathassenseenoughtokeepoutofmischief." Jothoughtintentlyforaminutewithhereyesfixedonthepicture,thenshesmoothedoutherwrinkledforeheadandsaid,withadecidednodatthefaceopposite,"Nothankyou,sir,you'reverycharming,butyou'venomorestabilitythanaweathercock. Soyouneedn'twritetouchingnotesandsmileinthatinsinuatingway,foritwon'tdoabitofgood,andIwon'thaveit." Thenshesighed,andfellintoareveriefromwhichshedidnotwaketilltheearlytwilightsentherdowntotakenewobservations,whichonlyconfirmedhersuspicion. ThoughLaurieflirtedwithAmyandjokedwithJo,hismannertoBethhadalwaysbeenpeculiarlykindandgentle,butsowaseverybody's. Therefore,noonethoughtofimaginingthathecaredmoreforherthanfortheothers. Indeed,ageneralimpressionhadprevailedinthefamilyoflatethat'ourboy'wasgettingfonderthaneverofJo,who,however,wouldn'thearaworduponthesubjectandscoldedviolentlyifanyonedaredtosuggestit. Iftheyhadknownthevarioustenderpassageswhichhadbeennippedinthebud,theywouldhavehadtheimmensesatisfactionofsaying,"Itoldyouso." ButJohated'philandering',andwouldn'tallowit,alwayshavingajokeorasmilereadyattheleastsignofimpendingdanger. WhenLauriefirstwenttocollege,hefellinloveaboutonceamonth,butthesesmallflameswereasbriefasardent,didnodamage,andmuchamusedJo,whotookgreatinterestinthealternationsofhope,despair,andresignation,whichwereconfidedtoherintheirweeklyconferences. ButtherecameatimewhenLaurieceasedtoworshipatmanyshrines,hinteddarklyatoneall–absorbingpassion,andindulgedoccasionallyinByronicfitsofgloom. Thenheavoidedthetendersubjectaltogether,wrotephilosophicalnotestoJo,turnedstudious,andgaveoutthathewasgoingto'dig',intendingtograduateinablazeofglory. Thissuitedtheyoungladybetterthantwilightconfidences,tenderpressuresofthehand,andeloquentglancesoftheeye,forwithJo,braindevelopedearlierthanheart,andshepreferredimaginaryheroestorealones,becausewhentiredofthem,theformercouldbeshutupinthetinkitchentillcalledfor,andthelatterwerelessmanageable. Thingswereinthisstatewhenthegranddiscoverywasmade,andJowatchedLauriethatnightasshehadneverdonebefore. Ifshehadnotgotthenewideaintoherhead,shewouldhaveseennothingunusualinthefactthatBethwasveryquiet,andLaurieverykindtoher. Buthavinggiventhereintoherlivelyfancy,itgallopedawaywithheratagreatpace,andcommonsense,beingratherweakenedbyalongcourseofromancewriting,didnotcometotherescue. AsusualBethlayonthesofaandLauriesatinalowchaircloseby,amusingherwithallsortsofgossip,forshedependedonherweekly'spin',andheneverdisappointedher. ButthateveningJofanciedthatBeth'seyesrestedonthelively,darkfacebesideherwithpeculiarpleasure,andthatshelistenedwithintenseinteresttoanaccountofsomeexcitingcricketmatch,thoughthephrases,'caughtoffatice','stumpedoffhisground',and'theleghitforthree',wereasintelligibletoherasSanskrit. Shealsofancied,havingsetherheartuponseeingit,thatshesawacertainincreaseofgentlenessinLaurie'smanner,thathedroppedhisvoicenowandthen,laughedlessthanusual,wasalittleabsent–minded,andsettledtheafghanoverBeth'sfeetwithanassiduitythatwasreallyalmosttender. "Whoknows?Strangerthingshavehappened,"thoughtJo,asshefussedabouttheroom. "Shewillmakequiteanangelofhim,andhewillmakelifedelightfullyeasyandpleasantforthedear,iftheyonlyloveeachother. Idon'tseehowhecanhelpit,andIdobelievehewouldiftherestofuswereoutoftheway." Aseveryonewasoutofthewaybutherself,Jobegantofeelthatsheoughttodisposeofherselfwithallspeed.Butwhereshouldshego? Andburningtolayherselfupontheshrineofsisterlydevotion,shesatdowntosettlethatpoint. Now,theoldsofawasaregularpatriarchofasofa––long,broad,well–cushioned,andlow,atrifleshabby,aswellitmightbe,forthegirlshadsleptandsprawledonitasbabies,fishedovertheback,rodeonthearms,andhadmenageriesunderitaschildren,andrestedtiredheads,dreameddreams,andlistenedtotendertalkonitasyoungwomen. Theyalllovedit,foritwasafamilyrefuge,andonecornerhadalwaysbeenJo'sfavoriteloungingplace. Amongthemanypillowsthatadornedthevenerablecouchwasone,hard,round,coveredwithpricklyhorsehair,andfurnishedwithaknobbybuttonateachend. Thisrepulsivepillowwasherespecialproperty,beingusedasaweaponofdefense,abarricade,orasternpreventiveoftoomuchslumber. Laurieknewthispillowwell,andhadcausetoregarditwithdeepaversion,havingbeenunmercifullypummeledwithitinformerdayswhenrompingwasallowed,andnowfrequentlydebarredbyitfromtheseathemostcovetednexttoJointhesofacorner. If'thesausage'astheycalledit,stoodonend,itwasasignthathemightapproachandrepose,butifitlayflatacrossthesofa,woetoman,woman,orchildwhodareddisturbit! ThateveningJoforgottobarricadehercorner,andhadnotbeeninherseatfiveminutes,beforeamassiveformappearedbesideher,andwithbotharmsspreadoverthesofaback,bothlonglegsstretchedoutbeforehim,Laurieexclaimed,withasighofsatisfaction... "Now,thisisfillingattheprice." "Noslang,"snappedJo,slammingdownthepillow.Butitwastoolate,therewasnoroomforit,andcoastingontothefloor,itdisappearedinamostmysteriousmanner. "Come,Jo,don'tbethorny.Afterstudyinghimselftoaskeletonalltheweek,afellowdeservespettingandoughttogetit." "Bethwillpetyou.I'mbusy." "No,she'snottobebotheredwithme,butyoulikethatsortofthing,unlessyou'vesuddenlylostyourtasteforit.Haveyou?Doyouhateyourboy,andwanttofirepillowsathim?" Anythingmorewheedlesomethanthattouchingappealwasseldomheard,butJoquenched'herboy'byturningonhimwithasternquery,"HowmanybouquetshaveyousentMissRandalthisweek?" "Notone,uponmyword.She'sengaged.Nowthen." "I'mgladofit,that'soneofyourfoolishextravagances,sendingflowersandthingstogirlsforwhomyoudon'tcaretwopins,"continuedJoreprovingly. "SensiblegirlsforwhomIdocarewholepapersofpinswon'tletmesendthem'flowersandthings',sowhatcanIdo?Myfeelingsneeda'vent'." "Motherdoesn'tapproveofflirtingeveninfun,andyoudoflirtdesperately,Teddy." "I'dgiveanythingifIcouldanswer,'Sodoyou'.AsIcan't,I'llmerelysaythatIdon'tseeanyharminthatpleasantlittlegame,ifallpartiesunderstandthatit'sonlyplay." "Well,itdoeslookpleasant,butIcan'tlearnhowit'sdone. I'vetried,becauseonefeelsawkwardincompanynottodoaseverybodyelseisdoing,butIdon'tseemtogeton",saidJo,forgettingtoplaymentor. "TakelessonsofAmy,shehasaregulartalentforit." "Yes,shedoesitveryprettily,andneverseemstogotoofar.Isupposeit'snaturaltosomepeopletopleasewithouttrying,andotherstoalwayssayanddothewrongthinginthewrongplace." "I'mgladyoucan'tflirt.It'sreallyrefreshingtoseeasensible,straightforwardgirl,whocanbejollyandkindwithoutmakingafoolofherself. Betweenourselves,Jo,someofthegirlsIknowreallydogoonatsucharateI'mashamedofthem. Theydon'tmeananyharm,I'msure,butiftheyknewhowwefellowstalkedaboutthemafterward,they'dmendtheirways,Ifancy." "Theydothesame,andastheirtonguesarethesharpest,youfellowsgettheworstofit,foryouareassillyasthey,everybit. Ifyoubehavedproperly,theywould,butknowingyouliketheirnonsense,theykeepitup,andthenyoublamethem." "Muchyouknowaboutit,ma'am,"saidLaurieinasuperiortone. "Wedon'tlikerompsandflirts,thoughwemayactasifwedidsometimes. Thepretty,modestgirlsarenevertalkedabout,exceptrespectfully,amonggentleman.Blessyourinnocentsoul! Ifyoucouldbeinmyplaceforamonthyou'dseethingsthatwouldastonishyouatrifle. Uponmyword,whenIseeoneofthoseharum–scarumgirls,IalwayswanttosaywithourfriendCockRobin... ItwasimpossibletohelplaughingatthefunnyconflictbetweenLaurie'schivalrousreluctancetospeakillofwomankind,andhisverynaturaldislikeoftheunfemininefollyofwhichfashionablesocietyshowedhimmanysamples. Joknewthat'youngLaurence'wasregardedasamosteligiblepartibyworldlymamas,wasmuchsmileduponbytheirdaughters,andflatteredenoughbyladiesofallagestomakeacoxcombofhim,soshewatchedhimratherjealously,fearinghewouldbespoiled,andrejoicedmorethansheconfessedtofindthathestillbelievedinmodestgirls. Returningsuddenlytoheradmonitorytone,shesaid,droppinghervoice,"Ifyoumusthavea'vent',Teddy,goanddevoteyourselftooneofthe'pretty,modestgirls'whomyoudorespect,andnotwasteyourtimewiththesillyones." "Youreallyadviseit?"andLaurielookedatherwithanoddmixtureofanxietyandmerrimentinhisface. "Yes,Ido,butyou'dbetterwaittillyouarethroughcollege,onthewhole,andbefittingyourselffortheplacemeantime. You'renothalfgoodenoughfor––well,whoeverthemodestgirlmaybe." andJolookedalittlequeerlikewise,foranamehadalmostescapedher. "ThatI'mnot!"acquiescedLaurie,withanexpressionofhumilityquitenewtohim,ashedroppedhiseyesandabsentlywoundJo'saprontasselroundhisfinger. "Mercyonus,thiswillneverdo,"thoughtJo,addingaloud,"Goandsingtome.I'mdyingforsomemusic,andalwayslikeyours." "I'dratherstayhere,thankyou." "Well,youcan't,thereisn'troom.Goandmakeyourselfuseful,sinceyouaretoobigtobeornamental. Ithoughtyouhatedtobetiedtoawoman'sapronstring?" retortedJo,quotingcertainrebelliouswordsofhisown. "Ah,thatdependsonwhowearstheapron!"andLauriegaveanaudacioustweakatthetassel. "Areyougoing?"demandedJo,divingforthepillow. Hefledatonce,andtheminuteitwaswell,"UpwiththebonnetsofbonnieDundee,"sheslippedawaytoreturnnomoretilltheyounggentlemandepartedinhighdudgeon. Jolaylongawakethatnight,andwasjustdroppingoffwhenthesoundofastifledsobmadeherflytoBeth'sbedside,withtheanxiousinquiry,"Whatisit,dear?" "Ithoughtyouwereasleep,"sobbedBeth. "Isittheoldpain,myprecious?" "No,it'sanewone,butIcanbearit,"andBethtriedtocheckhertears. "Tellmeallaboutit,andletmecureitasIoftendidtheother." "Youcan't,thereisnocure."ThereBeth'svoicegaveway,andclingingtohersister,shecriedsodespairinglythatJowasfrightened. "Whereisit?ShallIcallMother?" "No,no,don'tcallher,don'ttellher.Ishallbebettersoon.Liedownhereand'poor'myhead.I'llbequietandgotosleep,indeedIwill." Joobeyed,butasherhandwentsoftlytoandfroacrossBeth'shotforeheadandweteyelids,herheartwasveryfullandshelongedtospeak. Butyoungasshewas,Johadlearnedthathearts,likeflowers,cannotberudelyhandled,butmustopennaturally,sothoughshebelievedsheknewthecauseofBeth'snewpain,sheonlysaid,inhertenderesttone,"Doesanythingtroubleyou,deary?" "Yes,Jo,"afteralongpause. "Wouldn'titcomfortyoutotellmewhatitis?" "ThenIwon'task,butremember,Bethy,thatMotherandJoarealwaysgladtohearandhelpyou,iftheycan." "Iknowit.I'lltellyouby–and–by." "Oh,yes,muchbetter,youaresocomfortable,Jo." "Gotosleep,dear.I'llstaywithyou." Socheektocheektheyfellasleep,andonthemorrowBethseemedquiteherselfagain,forateighteenneitherheadsnorheartsachelong,andalovingwordcanmedicinemostills. ButJohadmadeuphermind,andafterponderingoveraprojectforsomedays,sheconfidedittohermother. "Youaskedmetheotherdaywhatmywisheswere.I'lltellyouoneofthem,Marmee,"shebegan,astheysatalongtogether."Iwanttogoawaysomewherethiswinterforachange." "Why,Jo?"andhermotherlookedupquickly,asifthewordssuggestedadoublemeaning. WithhereyesonherworkJoansweredsoberly,"Iwantsomethingnew. Ifeelrestlessandanxioustobeseeing,doing,andlearningmorethanIam. Ibroodtoomuchovermyownsmallaffairs,andneedstirringup,soasIcanbesparedthiswinter,I'dliketohopalittlewayandtrymywings." "ToNewYork.Ihadabrightideayesterday,andthisisit. YouknowMrs.Kirkewrotetoyouforsomerespectableyoungpersontoteachherchildrenandsew. It'sratherhardtofindjustthething,butIthinkIshouldsuitifItried." "Mydear,goouttoserviceinthatgreatboardinghouse!"andMrs.Marchlookedsurprised,butnotdispleased. "It'snotexactlygoingouttoservice,forMrs.Kirkeisyourfriend––thekindestsoulthateverlived––andwouldmakethingspleasantforme,Iknow. Herfamilyisseparatefromtherest,andnooneknowsmethere.Don'tcareiftheydo. It'shonestwork,andI'mnotashamedofit." "Allthebetterforthechange.Ishallseeandhearnewthings,getnewideas,andevenifIhaven'tmuchtimethere,Ishallbringhomequantitiesofmaterialformyrubbish." "Ihavenodoubtofit,butaretheseyouronlyreasonsforthissuddenfancy?" JolookedupandJolookeddown,thensaidslowly,withsuddencolorinhercheeks."Itmaybevainandwrongtosayit,but––I'mafraid––Laurieisgettingtoofondofme." "Thenyoudon'tcareforhiminthewayitisevidenthebeginstocareforyou?"andMrs.Marchlookedanxiousassheputthequestion. "Mercy,no!Ilovethedearboy,asIalwayshave,andamimmenselyproudofhim,butasforanythingmore,it'soutofthequestion." "Because,dear,Idon'tthinkyousuitedtooneanother. Asfriendsyouareveryhappy,andyourfrequentquarrelssoonblowover,butIfearyouwouldbothrebelifyouwerematedforlife. Youaretoomuchalikeandtoofondoffreedom,nottomentionhottempersandstrongwills,togetonhappilytogether,inarelationwhichneedsinfinitepatienceandforbearance,aswellaslove." "That'sjustthefeelingIhad,thoughIcouldn'texpressit. I'mgladyouthinkheisonlybeginningtocareforme. Itwouldtroublemesadlytomakehimunhappy,forIcouldn'tfallinlovewiththedearoldfellowmerelyoutofgratitude,couldI?" "Youaresureofhisfeelingforyou?" ThecolordeepenedinJo'scheeksassheanswered,withthelookofmingledpleasure,pride,andpainwhichyounggirlswearwhenspeakingoffirstlovers,"I'mafraiditisso,Mother. Hehasn'tsaidanything,buthelooksagreatdeal. IthinkIhadbettergoawaybeforeitcomestoanything." "Iagreewithyou,andifitcanbemanagedyoushallgo." Jolookedrelieved,andafterapause,said,smiling,"HowMrs.Moffatwouldwonderatyourwantofmanagement,ifsheknew,andhowshewillrejoicethatAnniemaystillhope." "Ah,Jo,mothersmaydifferintheirmanagement,butthehopeisthesameinall––thedesiretoseetheirchildrenhappy. Megisso,andIamcontentwithhersuccess. YouIleavetoenjoyyourlibertytillyoutireofit,foronlythenwillyoufindthatthereissomethingsweeter. Amyismychiefcarenow,buthergoodsensewillhelpher. ForBeth,Iindulgenohopesexceptthatshemaybewell. Bytheway,sheseemsbrighterthislastdayortwo.Haveyouspokentoher?' "Yes,sheownedshehadatrouble,andpromisedtotellmeby–and–by.Isaidnomore,forIthinkIknowit,"andJotoldherlittlestory. Mrs.Marchshookherhead,anddidnottakesoromanticaviewofthecase,butlookedgrave,andrepeatedheropinionthatforLaurie'ssakeJoshouldgoawayforatime. "Letussaynothingaboutittohimtilltheplanissettled,thenI'llrunawaybeforehecancollecthiswitsandbetragic. BethmustthinkI'mgoingtopleasemyself,asIam,forIcan'ttalkaboutLaurietoher. ButshecanpetandcomforthimafterI'mgone,andsocurehimofthisromanticnotion. He'sbeenthroughsomanylittletrialsofthesort,he'susedtoit,andwillsoongetoverhislovelornity." Jospokehopefully,butcouldnotridherselfoftheforebodingfearthatthis'littletrial'wouldbeharderthantheothers,andthatLauriewouldnotgetoverhis'lovelornity'aseasilyasheretofore. Theplanwastalkedoverinafamilycouncilandagreedupon,forMrs.KirkegladlyacceptedJo,andpromisedtomakeapleasanthomeforher. Theteachingwouldrenderherindependent,andsuchleisureasshegotmightbemadeprofitablebywriting,whilethenewscenesandsocietywouldbebothusefulandagreeable. Jolikedtheprospectandwaseagertobegone,forthehomenestwasgrowingtoonarrowforherrestlessnatureandadventurousspirit. Whenallwassettled,withfearandtremblingshetoldLaurie,buttohersurprisehetookitveryquietly. Hehadbeengraverthanusualoflate,butverypleasant,andwhenjokinglyaccusedofturningoveranewleaf,heansweredsoberly,"SoIam,andImeanthisoneshallstayturned." Jowasverymuchrelievedthatoneofhisvirtuousfitsshouldcomeonjustthen,andmadeherpreparationswithalightenedheart,forBethseemedmorecheerful,andhopedshewasdoingthebestforall. "OnethingIleaveinyourespecialcare,"shesaid,thenightbeforesheleft. "Youmeanyourpapers?"askedBeth. "No,myboy.Beverygoodtohim,won'tyou?" "OfcourseIwill,butIcan'tfillyourplace,andhe'llmissyousadly." "Itwon'thurthim,soremember,Ileavehiminyourcharge,toplague,pet,andkeepinorder." "I'lldomybest,foryoursake,"promisedBeth,wonderingwhyJolookedathersoqueerly. WhenLauriesaidgood–by,hewhisperedsignificantly,"Itwon'tdoabitofgood,Jo.Myeyeisonyou,somindwhatyoudo,orI'llcomeandbringyouhome."