English
"Girls,whereareyougoing?"askedAmy,comingintotheirroomoneSaturdayafternoon,andfindingthemgettingreadytogooutwithanairofsecrecywhichexcitedhercuriosity.
"Nevermind.Littlegirlsshouldn'taskquestions,"returnedJosharply.
Nowifthereisanythingmortifyingtoourfeelingswhenweareyoung,itistobetoldthat,andtobebiddento"runaway,dear"isstillmoretryingtous.
Amybridledupatthisinsult,anddeterminedtofindoutthesecret,ifsheteasedforanhour.
TurningtoMeg,whoneverrefusedheranythingverylong,shesaidcoaxingly,"Dotellme!
Ishouldthinkyoumightletmego,too,forBethisfussingoverherpiano,andIhaven'tgotanythingtodo,andamsolonely."
"Ican't,dear,becauseyouaren'tinvited,"beganMeg,butJobrokeinimpatiently,"Now,Meg,bequietoryouwillspoilitall.Youcan'tgo,Amy,sodon'tbeababyandwhineaboutit."
"YouaregoingsomewherewithLaurie,Iknowyouare.Youwerewhisperingandlaughingtogetheronthesofalastnight,andyoustoppedwhenIcamein.Aren'tyougoingwithhim?"
"Yes,weare.Nowdobestill,andstopbothering."
Amyheldhertongue,butusedhereyes,andsawMegslipafanintoherpocket.
"Iknow!Iknow!
You'regoingtothetheatertoseetheSevenCastles!"
shecried,addingresolutely,"andIshallgo,forMothersaidImightseeit,andI'vegotmyragmoney,anditwasmeannottotellmeintime."
"Justlistentomeaminute,andbeagoodchild,"saidMegsoothingly.
"Motherdoesn'twishyoutogothisweek,becauseyoureyesarenotwellenoughyettobearthelightofthisfairypiece.
NextweekyoucangowithBethandHannah,andhaveanicetime."
"Idon'tlikethathalfaswellasgoingwithyouandLaurie.Pleaseletme.
I'vebeensickwiththiscoldsolong,andshutup,I'mdyingforsomefun.Do,Meg!
I'llbeeversogood,"pleadedAmy,lookingaspatheticasshecould.
"Supposewetakeher.Idon'tbelieveMotherwouldmind,ifwebundleherupwell,"beganMeg.
"IfshegoesIshan't,andifIdon't,Lauriewon'tlikeit,anditwillbeveryrude,afterheinvitedonlyus,togoanddraginAmy.
Ishouldthinkshe'dhatetopokeherselfwheresheisn'twanted,"saidJocrossly,forshedislikedthetroubleofoverseeingafidgetychildwhenshewantedtoenjoyherself.
HertoneandmannerangeredAmy,whobegantoputherbootson,saying,inhermostaggravatingway,"Ishallgo.MegsaysImay,andifIpayformyself,Lauriehasn'tanythingtodowithit."
"Youcan'tsitwithus,forourseatsarereserved,andyoumustn'tsitalone,soLauriewillgiveyouhisplace,andthatwillspoilourpleasure.
Orhe'llgetanotherseatforyou,andthatisn'tproperwhenyouweren'tasked.
Youshan'tstirastep,soyoumayjuststaywhereyouare,"scoldedJo,crosserthanever,havingjustprickedherfingerinherhurry.
Sittingonthefloorwithonebooton,AmybegantocryandMegtoreasonwithher,whenLauriecalledfrombelow,andthetwogirlshurrieddown,leavingtheirsisterwailing.
Fornowandthensheforgothergrown–upwaysandactedlikeaspoiledchild.
Justasthepartywassettingout,Amycalledoverthebanistersinathreateningtone,"You'llbesorryforthis,JoMarch,seeifyouain't."
"Fiddlesticks!"returnedJo,slammingthedoor.
Theyhadacharmingtime,forTheSevenCastlesOfTheDiamondLakewasasbrilliantandwonderfulasheartcouldwish.
Butinspiteofthecomicalredimps,sparklingelves,andthegorgeousprincesandprincesses,Jo'spleasurehadadropofbitternessinit.
Thefairyqueen'syellowcurlsremindedherofAmy,andbetweentheactssheamusedherselfwithwonderingwhathersisterwoulddotomakeher'sorryforit'.
SheandAmyhadhadmanylivelyskirmishesinthecourseoftheirlives,forbothhadquicktempersandwereapttobeviolentwhenfairlyroused.
AmyteasedJo,andJoirritatedAmy,andsemioccasionalexplosionsoccurred,ofwhichbothweremuchashamedafterward.
Althoughtheoldest,Johadtheleastself–control,andhadhardtimestryingtocurbthefieryspiritwhichwascontinuallygettingherintotrouble.
Herangerneverlastedlong,andhavinghumblyconfessedherfault,shesincerelyrepentedandtriedtodobetter.
HersistersusedtosaythattheyratherlikedtogetJointoafurybecauseshewassuchanangelafterward.
PoorJotrieddesperatelytobegood,butherbosomenemywasalwaysreadytoflameupanddefeather,andittookyearsofpatientefforttosubdueit.
Whentheygothome,theyfoundAmyreadingintheparlor.
Sheassumedaninjuredairastheycamein,neverliftedhereyesfromherbook,oraskedasinglequestion.
Perhapscuriositymighthaveconqueredresentment,ifBethhadnotbeentheretoinquireandreceiveaglowingdescriptionoftheplay.
Ongoinguptoputawayherbesthat,Jo'sfirstlookwastowardthebureau,forintheirlastquarrelAmyhadsoothedherfeelingsbyturningJo'stopdrawerupsidedownonthefloor.
Everythingwasinitsplace,however,andafterahastyglanceintohervariousclosets,bags,andboxes,JodecidedthatAmyhadforgivenandforgottenherwrongs.
ThereJowasmistaken,fornextdayshemadeadiscoverywhichproducedatempest.
Meg,Beth,andAmyweresittingtogether,lateintheafternoon,whenJoburstintotheroom,lookingexcitedanddemandingbreathlessly,"Hasanyonetakenmybook?"
MegandBethsaid,"No."atonce,andlookedsurprised.Amypokedthefireandsaidnothing.Josawhercolorriseandwasdownuponherinaminute.
"Amy,you'vegotit!"
"No,Ihaven't."
"Youknowwhereitis,then!"
"No,Idon't."
"That'safib!"criedJo,takingherbytheshoulders,andlookingfierceenoughtofrightenamuchbraverchildthanAmy.
"Itisn't.Ihaven'tgotit,don'tknowwhereitisnow,anddon'tcare."
"Youknowsomethingaboutit,andyou'dbettertellatonce,orI'llmakeyou."AndJogaveheraslightshake.
"Scoldasmuchasyoulike,you'llneverseeyoursillyoldbookagain,"criedAmy,gettingexcitedinherturn.
"Whynot?"
"Iburneditup."
"What!MylittlebookIwassofondof,andworkedover,andmeanttofinishbeforeFathergothome?Haveyoureallyburnedit?"
saidJo,turningverypale,whilehereyeskindledandherhandsclutchedAmynervously.
"Yes,Idid!ItoldyouI'dmakeyoupayforbeingsocrossyesterday,andIhave,so..."
Amygotnofarther,forJo'shottempermasteredher,andsheshookAmytillherteethchatteredinherhead,cryinginapassionofgriefandanger...
"Youwicked,wickedgirl!Inevercanwriteitagain,andI'llneverforgiveyouaslongasIlive."
MegflewtorescueAmy,andBethtopacifyJo,butJowasquitebesideherself,andwithapartingboxonhersister'sear,sherushedoutoftheroomuptotheoldsofainthegarret,andfinishedherfightalone.
Thestormclearedupbelow,forMrs.Marchcamehome,and,havingheardthestory,soonbroughtAmytoasenseofthewrongshehaddonehersister.
Jo'sbookwastheprideofherheart,andwasregardedbyherfamilyasaliterarysproutofgreatpromise.
Itwasonlyhalfadozenlittlefairytales,butJohadworkedoverthempatiently,puttingherwholeheartintoherwork,hopingtomakesomethinggoodenoughtoprint.
Shehadjustcopiedthemwithgreatcare,andhaddestroyedtheoldmanuscript,sothatAmy'sbonfirehadconsumedthelovingworkofseveralyears.
Itseemedasmalllosstoothers,buttoJoitwasadreadfulcalamity,andshefeltthatitnevercouldbemadeuptoher.
Bethmournedasforadepartedkitten,andMegrefusedtodefendherpet.
Mrs.Marchlookedgraveandgrieved,andAmyfeltthatnoonewouldlovehertillshehadaskedpardonfortheactwhichshenowregrettedmorethananyofthem.
Whentheteabellrang,Joappeared,lookingsogrimandunapproachablethatittookallAmy'scouragetosaymeekly...
"Pleaseforgiveme,Jo.I'mvery,verysorry."
"Inevershallforgiveyou,"wasJo'ssternanswer,andfromthatmomentsheignoredAmyentirely.
Noonespokeofthegreattrouble,notevenMrs.March,forallhadlearnedbyexperiencethatwhenJowasinthatmoodwordswerewasted,andthewisestcoursewastowaittillsomelittleaccident,orherowngenerousnature,softenedJo'sresentmentandhealedthebreach.
Itwasnotahappyevening,forthoughtheysewedasusual,whiletheirmotherreadaloudfromBremer,Scott,orEdgeworth,somethingwaswanting,andthesweethomepeacewasdisturbed.
Theyfeltthismostwhensingingtimecame,forBethcouldonlyplay,Jostooddumbasastone,andAmybrokedown,soMegandMothersangalone.
Butinspiteoftheireffortstobeascheeryaslarks,theflutelikevoicesdidnotseemtochordaswellasusual,andallfeltoutoftune.
AsJoreceivedhergood–nightkiss,Mrs.Marchwhisperedgently,"Mydear,don'tletthesungodownuponyouranger.Forgiveeachother,helpeachother,andbeginagaintomorrow."
Jowantedtolayherheaddownonthatmotherlybosom,andcryhergriefandangerallaway,buttearswereanunmanlyweakness,andshefeltsodeeplyinjuredthatshereallycouldn'tquiteforgiveyet.
Soshewinkedhard,shookherhead,andsaidgrufflybecauseAmywaslistening,"Itwasanabominablething,andshedoesn'tdeservetobeforgiven."
Withthatshemarchedofftobed,andtherewasnomerryorconfidentialgossipthatnight.
Amywasmuchoffendedthatheroverturesofpeacehadbeenrepulsed,andbegantowishshehadnothumbledherself,tofeelmoreinjuredthanever,andtoplumeherselfonhersuperiorvirtueinawaywhichwasparticularlyexasperating.
Jostilllookedlikeathundercloud,andnothingwentwellallday.
Itwasbittercoldinthemorning,shedroppedherpreciousturnoverinthegutter,AuntMarchhadanattackofthefidgets,Megwassensitive,Bethwouldlookgrievedandwistfulwhenshegothome,andAmykeptmakingremarksaboutpeoplewhowerealwaystalkingaboutbeinggoodandyetwouldn'teventrywhenotherpeoplesetthemavirtuousexample.
"Everybodyissohateful,I'llaskLaurietogoskating.Heisalwayskindandjolly,andwillputmetorights,Iknow,"saidJotoherself,andoffshewent.
Amyheardtheclashofskates,andlookedoutwithanimpatientexclamation.
"There!ShepromisedIshouldgonexttime,forthisisthelasticeweshallhave.Butit'snousetoasksuchacrosspatchtotakeme."
"Don'tsaythat.Youwereverynaughty,anditishardtoforgivethelossofherpreciouslittlebook,butIthinkshemightdoitnow,andIguessshewill,ifyoutryherattherightminute,"saidMeg."Goafterthem.
Don'tsayanythingtillJohasgotgood–naturedwithLaurie,thantakeaquietminuteandjustkissher,ordosomekindthing,andI'msureshe'llbefriendsagainwithallherheart."
"I'lltry,"saidAmy,fortheadvicesuitedher,andafteraflurrytogetready,sheranafterthefriends,whowerejustdisappearingoverthehill.
Itwasnotfartotheriver,butbothwerereadybeforeAmyreachedthem.Josawhercoming,andturnedherback.
Lauriedidnotsee,forhewascarefullyskatingalongtheshore,soundingtheice,forawarmspellhadprecededthecoldsnap.
"I'llgoontothefirstbend,andseeifit'sallrightbeforewebegintorace,"Amyheardhimsay,asheshotaway,lookinglikeayoungRussianinhisfur–trimmedcoatandcap.
JoheardAmypantingafterherrun,stampingherfeetandblowingonherfingersasshetriedtoputherskateson,butJoneverturnedandwentslowlyzigzaggingdowntheriver,takingabitter,unhappysortofsatisfactioninhersister'stroubles.
Shehadcherishedherangertillitgrewstrongandtookpossessionofher,asevilthoughtsandfeelingsalwaysdounlesscastoutatonce.
AsLaurieturnedthebend,heshoutedback...
"Keepneartheshore.Itisn'tsafeinthemiddle."
Joheard,butAmywasstrugglingtoherfeetanddidnotcatchaword.
Joglancedoverhershoulder,andthelittledemonshewasharboringsaidinherear...
"Nomatterwhethersheheardornot,lethertakecareofherself."
Lauriehadvanishedroundthebend,Jowasjustattheturn,andAmy,farbehind,strikingouttowardthesmoothericeinthemiddleoftheriver.
ForaminuteJostoodstillwithastrangefeelinginherheart,thensheresolvedtogoon,butsomethingheldandturnedherround,justintimetoseeAmythrowupherhandsandgodown,withasuddencrashofrottenice,thesplashofwater,andacrythatmadeJo'sheartstandstillwithfear.
ShetriedtocallLaurie,buthervoicewasgone.
Shetriedtorushforward,butherfeetseemedtohavenostrengthinthem,andforasecond,shecouldonlystandmotionless,staringwithaterror–strickenfaceatthelittlebluehoodabovetheblackwater.
Somethingrushedswiftlybyher,andLaurie'svoicecriedout...
"Bringarail.Quick,quick!"
Howshedidit,sheneverknew,butforthenextfewminutessheworkedasifpossessed,blindlyobeyingLaurie,whowasquiteself–possessed,andlyingflat,heldAmyupbyhisarmandhockeysticktillJodraggedarailfromthefence,andtogethertheygotthechildout,morefrightenedthanhurt.
"Nowthen,wemustwalkherhomeasfastaswecan.
Pileourthingsonher,whileIgetofftheseconfoundedskates,"criedLaurie,wrappinghiscoatroundAmy,andtuggingawayatthestrapswhichneverseemedsointricatebefore.
Shivering,dripping,andcrying,theygotAmyhome,andafteranexcitingtimeofit,shefellasleep,rolledinblanketsbeforeahotfire.
DuringthebustleJohadscarcelyspokenbutflownabout,lookingpaleandwild,withherthingshalfoff,herdresstorn,andherhandscutandbruisedbyiceandrailsandrefractorybuckles.
WhenAmywascomfortablyasleep,thehousequiet,andMrs.Marchsittingbythebed,shecalledJotoherandbegantobindupthehurthands.
"Areyousuresheissafe?"whisperedJo,lookingremorsefullyatthegoldenhead,whichmighthavebeensweptawayfromhersightforeverunderthetreacherousice.
"Quitesafe,dear.Sheisnothurt,andwon'teventakecold,Ithink,youweresosensibleincoveringandgettingherhomequickly,"repliedhermothercheerfully.
"Lauriediditall.Ionlylethergo.
Mother,ifsheshoulddie,itwouldbemyfault."
AndJodroppeddownbesidethebedinapassionofpenitenttears,tellingallthathadhappened,bitterlycondemningherhardnessofheart,andsobbingouthergratitudeforbeingsparedtheheavypunishmentwhichmighthavecomeuponher.
"It'smydreadfultemper!Itrytocureit,IthinkIhave,andthenitbreaksoutworsethanever.Oh,Mother,whatshallIdo?WhatshallIdo?"criedpoorJo,indespair.
"Watchandpray,dear,nevergettiredoftrying,andneverthinkitisimpossibletoconqueryourfault,"saidMrs.March,drawingtheblowzyheadtohershoulderandkissingthewetcheeksotenderlythatJocriedevenharder.
"Youdon'tknow,youcan'tguesshowbaditis!
ItseemsasifIcoulddoanythingwhenI'minapassion.
Igetsosavage,Icouldhurtanyoneandenjoyit.
I'mafraidIshalldosomethingdreadfulsomeday,andspoilmylife,andmakeeverybodyhateme.Oh,Mother,helpme,dohelpme!"
"Iwill,mychild,Iwill.Don'tcrysobitterly,butrememberthisday,andresolvewithallyoursoulthatyouwillneverknowanotherlikeit.
Jo,dear,weallhaveourtemptations,somefargreaterthanyours,anditoftentakesusallourlivestoconquerthem.
Youthinkyourtemperistheworstintheworld,butmineusedtobejustlikeit."
"Yours,Mother?Why,youareneverangry!"AndforthemomentJoforgotremorseinsurprise.
"I'vebeentryingtocureitforfortyyears,andhaveonlysucceededincontrollingit.
Iamangrynearlyeverydayofmylife,Jo,butIhavelearnednottoshowit,andIstillhopetolearnnottofeelit,thoughitmaytakemeanotherfortyyearstodoso."
ThepatienceandthehumilityofthefaceshelovedsowellwasabetterlessontoJothanthewisestlecture,thesharpestreproof.
Shefeltcomfortedatoncebythesympathyandconfidencegivenher.
Theknowledgethathermotherhadafaultlikehers,andtriedtomendit,madeherowneasiertobearandstrengthenedherresolutiontocureit,thoughfortyyearsseemedratheralongtimetowatchandpraytoagirloffifteen.
"Mother,areyouangrywhenyoufoldyourlipstighttogetherandgooutoftheroomsometimes,whenAuntMarchscoldsorpeopleworryyou?"
askedJo,feelingneareranddearertohermotherthaneverbefore.
"Yes,I'velearnedtocheckthehastywordsthatrisetomylips,andwhenIfeelthattheymeantobreakoutagainstmywill,Ijustgoawayforaminute,andgivemyselfalittleshakeforbeingsoweakandwicked,"answeredMrs.Marchwithasighandasmile,asshesmoothedandfastenedupJo'sdisheveledhair.
"Howdidyoulearntokeepstill?Thatiswhattroublesme,forthesharpwordsflyoutbeforeIknowwhatI'mabout,andthemoreIsaytheworseIget,tillit'sapleasuretohurtpeople'sfeelingsandsaydreadfulthings.Tellmehowyoudoit,Marmeedear."
"Mygoodmotherusedtohelpme..."
"Asyoudous..."interruptedJo,withagratefulkiss.
"ButIlostherwhenIwasalittleolderthanyouare,andforyearshadtostruggleonalone,forIwastooproudtoconfessmyweaknesstoanyoneelse.
Ihadahardtime,Jo,andshedagoodmanybittertearsovermyfailures,forinspiteofmyeffortsIneverseemedtogeton.
Thenyourfathercame,andIwassohappythatIfounditeasytobegood.
Butby–and–by,whenIhadfourlittledaughtersroundmeandwewerepoor,thentheoldtroublebeganagain,forIamnotpatientbynature,andittriedmeverymuchtoseemychildrenwantinganything."
"PoorMother!Whathelpedyouthen?"
"Yourfather,Jo.Heneverlosespatience,neverdoubtsorcomplains,butalwayshopes,andworksandwaitssocheerfullythatoneisashamedtodootherwisebeforehim.
Hehelpedandcomfortedme,andshowedmethatImusttrytopracticeallthevirtuesIwouldhavemylittlegirlspossess,forIwastheirexample.
Itwaseasiertotryforyoursakesthanformyown.
AstartledorsurprisedlookfromoneofyouwhenIspokesharplyrebukedmemorethananywordscouldhavedone,andthelove,respect,andconfidenceofmychildrenwasthesweetestrewardIcouldreceiveformyeffortstobethewomanIwouldhavethemcopy."
"Oh,Mother,ifI'meverhalfasgoodasyou,Ishallbesatisfied,"criedJo,muchtouched.
"Ihopeyouwillbeagreatdealbetter,dear,butyoumustkeepwatchoveryour'bosomenemy',asfathercallsit,oritmaysadden,ifnotspoilyourlife.Youhavehadawarning.
Rememberit,andtrywithheartandsoultomasterthisquicktemper,beforeitbringsyougreatersorrowandregretthanyouhaveknowntoday."
"Iwilltry,Mother,Itrulywill.Butyoumusthelpme,remindme,andkeepmefromflyingout.
IusedtoseeFathersometimesputhisfingeronhislips,andlookatyouwithaverykindbutsoberface,andyoualwaysfoldedyourlipstightandwentaway.Washeremindingyouthen?"askedJosoftly.
"Yes.Iaskedhimtohelpmeso,andheneverforgotit,butsavedmefrommanyasharpwordbythatlittlegestureandkindlook."
Josawthathermother'seyesfilledandherlipstrembledasshespoke,andfearingthatshehadsaidtoomuch,shewhisperedanxiously,"Wasitwrongtowatchyouandtospeakofit?
Ididn'tmeantoberude,butit'ssocomfortabletosayallIthinktoyou,andfeelsosafeandhappyhere."
"MyJo,youmaysayanythingtoyourmother,foritismygreatesthappinessandpridetofeelthatmygirlsconfideinmeandknowhowmuchIlovethem."
"IthoughtI'dgrievedyou."
"No,dear,butspeakingofFatherremindedmehowmuchImisshim,howmuchIowehim,andhowfaithfullyIshouldwatchandworktokeephislittledaughterssafeandgoodforhim."
"Yetyoutoldhimtogo,Mother,anddidn'tcrywhenhewent,andnevercomplainnow,orseemasifyouneededanyhelp,"saidJo,wondering.
"IgavemybesttothecountryIlove,andkeptmytearstillhewasgone.
WhyshouldIcomplain,whenwebothhavemerelydoneourdutyandwillsurelybethehappierforitintheend?
IfIdon'tseemtoneedhelp,itisbecauseIhaveabetterfriend,eventhanFather,tocomfortandsustainme.
Mychild,thetroublesandtemptationsofyourlifearebeginningandmaybemany,butyoucanovercomeandoutlivethemallifyoulearntofeelthestrengthandtendernessofyourHeavenlyFatherasyoudothatofyourearthlyone.
ThemoreyouloveandtrustHim,theneareryouwillfeeltoHim,andthelessyouwilldependonhumanpowerandwisdom.
Hisloveandcarenevertireorchange,canneverbetakenfromyou,butmaybecomethesourceoflifelongpeace,happiness,andstrength.
Believethisheartily,andgotoGodwithallyourlittlecares,andhopes,andsins,andsorrows,asfreelyandconfidinglyasyoucometoyourmother."
Jo'sonlyanswerwastoholdhermotherclose,andinthesilencewhichfollowedthesincerestprayershehadeverprayedleftherheartwithoutwords.
Forinthatsadyethappyhour,shehadlearnednotonlythebitternessofremorseanddespair,butthesweetnessofself–denialandself–control,andledbyhermother'shand,shehaddrawnnearertotheFriendwhoalwayswelcomeseverychildwithalovestrongerthanthatofanyfather,tendererthanthatofanymother.
Amystirredandsighedinhersleep,andasifeagertobeginatoncetomendherfault,Jolookedupwithanexpressiononherfacewhichithadneverwornbefore.
"Iletthesungodownonmyanger.Iwouldn'tforgiveher,andtoday,ifithadn'tbeenforLaurie,itmighthavebeentoolate!HowcouldIbesowicked?"
saidJo,halfaloud,assheleanedoverhersistersoftlystrokingthewethairscatteredonthepillow.
Asifsheheard,Amyopenedhereyes,andheldoutherarms,withasmilethatwentstraighttoJo'sheart.
Neithersaidaword,buttheyhuggedoneanotherclose,inspiteoftheblankets,andeverythingwasforgivenandforgotteninoneheartykiss.
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