English
Whenonelivesinarowofhouses,itisinterestingtothinkofthethingswhicharebeingdoneandsaidontheothersideofthewalloftheveryroomsoneislivingin.
SarawasfondofamusingherselfbytryingtoimaginethethingshiddenbythewallwhichdividedtheSelectSeminaryfromtheIndiangentleman’shouse.
SheknewthattheschoolroomwasnexttotheIndiangentleman’sstudy,andshehopedthatthewallwasthicksothatthenoisemadesometimesafterlessonhourswouldnotdisturbhim.
“Iamgrowingquitefondofhim,”shesaidtoErmengarde;“Ishouldnotlikehimtobedisturbed.Ihaveadoptedhimforafriend.
Youcandothatwithpeopleyouneverspeaktoatall.
Youcanjustwatchthem,andthinkaboutthemandbesorryforthem,untiltheyseemalmostlikerelations.
I’mquiteanxioussometimeswhenIseethedoctorcalltwiceaday.”
“Ihaveveryfewrelations,”saidErmengarde,reflectively,“andI’mverygladofit.Idon’tlikethoseIhave.
Mytwoauntsarealwayssaying,`Dearme,Ermengarde!Youareveryfat.
Youshouldn’teatsweets,’andmyuncleisalwaysaskingmethingslike,`WhendidEdwardtheThirdascendthethrone?’
and,`Whodiedofasurfeitoflampreys?’”
Saralaughed.
“Peopleyouneverspeaktocan’taskyouquestionslikethat,”shesaid;“andI’msuretheIndiangentlemanwouldn’tevenifhewasquiteintimatewithyou.Iamfondofhim.”
ShehadbecomefondoftheLargeFamilybecausetheylookedhappy;butshehadbecomefondoftheIndiangentlemanbecausehelookedunhappy.
Hehadevidentlynotfullyrecoveredfromsomeverysevereillness.
Inthekitchen—where,ofcourse,theservants,throughsomemysteriousmeans,kneweverything—therewasmuchdiscussionofhiscase.
HewasnotanIndiangentlemanreally,butanEnglishmanwhohadlivedinIndia.
Hehadmetwithgreatmisfortuneswhichhadforatimesoimperilledhiswholefortunethathehadthoughthimselfruinedanddisgracedforever.
Theshockhadbeensogreatthathehadalmostdiedofbrainfever;andeversincehehadbeenshatteredinhealth,thoughhisfortuneshadchangedandallhispossessionshadbeenrestoredtohim.
Histroubleandperilhadbeenconnectedwithmines.
“Andmineswithdiamondsin‘em!”saidthecook.
“Nosavin’sofminenevergoesintonomines—particulardiamondones”—withasideglanceatSara.“Weallknowsomethin’ofthem.”
“Hefeltasmypapafelt,”Sarathought.
“Hewasillasmypapawas;buthedidnotdie.”
Soherheartwasmoredrawntohimthanbefore.
Whenshewassentoutatnightsheusedsometimestofeelquiteglad,becausetherewasalwaysachancethatthecurtainsofthehousenextdoormightnotyetbeclosedandshecouldlookintothewarmroomandseeheradoptedfriend.
Whennoonewasaboutsheusedsometimestostop,and,holdingtotheironrailings,wishhimgoodnightasifhecouldhearher.
“Perhapsyoucanfeelifyoucan’thear,”washerfancy.
“Perhapskindthoughtsreachpeoplesomehow,eventhroughwindowsanddoorsandwalls.
Perhapsyoufeelalittlewarmandcomforted,anddon’tknowwhy,whenIamstandinghereinthecoldandhopingyouwillgetwellandhappyagain.
Iamsosorryforyou,”shewouldwhisperinanintenselittlevoice.
“Iwishyouhada`LittleMissus’whocouldpetyouasIusedtopetpapawhenhehadaheadache.
Ishouldliketobeyour`LittleMissus’myself,poordear!Goodnight—goodnight.Godblessyou!”
Shewouldgoaway,feelingquitecomfortedandalittlewarmerherself.
Hersympathywassostrongthatitseemedasifitmustreachhimsomehowashesataloneinhisarmchairbythefire,nearlyalwaysinagreatdressinggown,andnearlyalwayswithhisforeheadrestinginhishandashegazedhopelesslyintothefire.
HelookedtoSaralikeamanwhohadatroubleonhismindstill,notmerelylikeonewhosetroubleslayallinthepast.
“Healwaysseemsasifhewerethinkingofsomethingthathurtshimnow”,shesaidtoherself,“buthehasgothismoneybackandhewillgetoverhisbrainfeverintime,soheoughtnottolooklikethat.Iwonderifthereissomethingelse.”
Iftherewassomethingelse—somethingevenservantsdidnothearof—shecouldnothelpbelievingthatthefatheroftheLargeFamilyknewit—thegentlemanshecalledMr.Montmorency.
Mr.Montmorencywenttoseehimoften,andMrs.MontmorencyandallthelittleMontmorencyswent,too,thoughlessoften.
Heseemedparticularlyfondofthetwoelderlittlegirls—theJanetandNorawhohadbeensoalarmedwhentheirsmallbrotherDonaldhadgivenSarahissixpence.
Hehad,infact,averytenderplaceinhisheartforallchildren,andparticularlyforlittlegirls.
JanetandNorawereasfondofhimashewasofthem,andlookedforwardwiththegreatestpleasuretotheafternoonswhentheywereallowedtocrossthesquareandmaketheirwell-behavedlittlevisitstohim.
Theywereextremelydecorouslittlevisitsbecausehewasaninvalid.
“Heisapoorthing,”saidJanet,“andhesayswecheerhimup.Wetrytocheerhimupveryquietly.”
Janetwastheheadofthefamily,andkepttherestofitinorder.
ItwasshewhodecidedwhenitwasdiscreettoasktheIndiangentlemantotellstoriesaboutIndia,anditwasshewhosawwhenhewastiredanditwasthetimetostealquietlyawayandtellRamDasstogotohim.TheywereveryfondofRamDass.
HecouldhavetoldanynumberofstoriesifhehadbeenabletospeakanythingbutHindustani.
TheIndiangentleman’srealnamewasMr.Carrisford,andJanettoldMr.Carrisfordabouttheencounterwiththelittle-girl-who-was-not-a-beggar.
Hewasverymuchinterested,andallthemoresowhenheheardfromRamDassoftheadventureofthemonkeyontheroof.
RamDassmadeforhimaveryclearpictureoftheatticanditsdesolateness—ofthebarefloorandbrokenplaster,therusty,emptygrate,andthehard,narrowbed.
“Carmichael,”hesaidtothefatheroftheLargeFamily,afterhehadheardthisdescription,“Iwonderhowmanyoftheatticsinthissquarearelikethatone,andhowmanywretchedlittleservantgirlssleeponsuchbeds,whileItossonmydownpillows,loadedandharassedbywealththatis,mostofit—notmine.”
“Mydearfellow,”Mr.Carmichaelansweredcheerily,“thesooneryouceasetormentingyourselfthebetteritwillbeforyou.
IfyoupossessedallthewealthofalltheIndies,youcouldnotsetrightallthediscomfortsintheworld,andifyoubegantorefurnishalltheatticsinthissquare,therewouldstillremainalltheatticsinalltheothersquaresandstreetstoputinorder.Andthereyouare!”
Mr.Carrisfordsatandbithisnailsashelookedintotheglowingbedofcoalsinthegrate.
“Doyousuppose,”hesaidslowly,afterapause—”doyouthinkitispossiblethattheotherchild—thechildIneverceasethinkingof,Ibelieve—couldbe—couldpossiblybereducedtoanysuchconditionasthepoorlittlesoulnextdoor?”
Mr.Carmichaellookedathimuneasily.Heknewthattheworstthingthemancoulddoforhimself,forhisreasonandhishealth,wastobegintothinkintheparticularwayofthisparticularsubject.
“IfthechildatMadamePascal’sschoolinPariswastheoneyouareinsearchof,”heansweredsoothingly,“shewouldseemtobeinthehandsofpeoplewhocanaffordtotakecareofher.
Theyadoptedherbecauseshehadbeenthefavoritecompanionoftheirlittledaughterwhodied.
Theyhadnootherchildren,andMadamePascalsaidthattheywereextremelywell-to-doRussians.”
“Andthewretchedwomanactuallydidnotknowwheretheyhadtakenher!”exclaimedMr.Carrisford.
Mr.Carmichaelshruggedhisshoulders.
“Shewasashrewd,worldlyFrenchwoman,andwasevidentlyonlytoogladtogetthechildsocomfortablyoffherhandswhenthefather’sdeathlefthertotallyunprovidedfor.
Womenofhertypedonottroublethemselvesaboutthefuturesofchildrenwhomightproveburdens.
Theadoptedparentsapparentlydisappearedandleftnotrace.”
“Butyousay`ifthechildwastheoneIaminsearchof.Yousay‘if.’Wearenotsure.Therewasadifferenceinthename.”
“MadamePascalpronounceditasifitwereCarewinsteadofCrewe—butthatmightbemerelyamatterofpronunciation.
Thecircumstanceswerecuriouslysimilar.
AnEnglishofficerinIndiahadplacedhismotherlesslittlegirlattheschool.
Hehaddiedsuddenlyafterlosinghisfortune.”
Mr.Carmichaelpausedamoment,asifanewthoughthadoccurredtohim.
“AreyousurethechildwasleftataschoolinParis?AreyousureitwasParis?”
“Mydearfellow,”brokeforthCarrisford,withrestlessbitterness,“Iamsureofnothing.
Ineversaweitherthechildorhermother.
RalphCreweandIlovedeachotherasboys,butwehadnotmetsinceourschooldays,untilwemetinIndia.
Iwasabsorbedinthemagnificentpromiseofthemines.Hebecameabsorbed,too.
Thewholethingwassohugeandglitteringthatwehalflostourheads.
Whenwemetwescarcelyspokeofanythingelse.
Ionlyknewthatthechildhadbeensenttoschoolsomewhere.
Idonotevenremember,now,howIknewit.”
Hewasbeginningtobeexcited.Healwaysbecameexcitedwhenhisstillweakenedbrainwasstirredbymemoriesofthecatastrophesofthepast.
Mr.Carmichaelwatchedhimanxiously.Itwasnecessarytoasksomequestions,buttheymustbeputquietlyandwithcaution.
“ButyouhadreasontothinktheschoolwasinParis?”
“Yes,”wastheanswer,“becausehermotherwasaFrenchwoman,andIhadheardthatshewishedherchildtobeeducatedinParis.Itseemedonlylikelythatshewouldbethere.”
“Yes,”Mr.Carmichaelsaid,“itseemsmorethanprobable.”
TheIndiangentlemanleanedforwardandstruckthetablewithalong,wastedhand.
“Carmichael,”hesaid,“Imustfindher.Ifsheisalive,sheissomewhere.
Ifsheisfriendlessandpenniless,itisthroughmyfault.
Howisamantogetbackhisnervewithathinglikethatonhismind?
Thissuddenchangeofluckatthemineshasmaderealitiesofallourmostfantasticdreams,andpoorCrewe’schildmaybebegginginthestreet!”
“No,no,”saidCarmichael.“Trytobecalm.Consoleyourselfwiththefactthatwhensheisfoundyouhaveafortunetohandovertoher.”
“WhywasInotmanenoughtostandmygroundwhenthingslookedblack?”Carrisfordgroanedinpetulantmisery.
“IbelieveIshouldhavestoodmygroundifIhadnotbeenresponsibleforotherpeople’smoneyaswellasmyown.
PoorCrewehadputintotheschemeeverypennythatheowned.Hetrustedme—helovedme.
AndhediedthinkingIhadruinedhim—I—TomCarrisford,whoplayedcricketatEtonwithhim.
Whatavillainhemusthavethoughtme!”
“Don’treproachyourselfsobitterly.”
“Idon’treproachmyselfbecausethespeculationthreatenedtofail—Ireproachmyselfforlosingmycourage.
Iranawaylikeaswindlerandathief,becauseIcouldnotfacemybestfriendandtellhimIhadruinedhimandhischild.”
Thegood-heartedfatheroftheLargeFamilyputhishandonhisshouldercomfortingly.
“Youranawaybecauseyourbrainhadgivenwayunderthestrainofmentaltorture,”hesaid.“Youwerehalfdeliriousalready.
Ifyouhadnotbeenyouwouldhavestayedandfoughtitout.
Youwereinahospital,strappeddowninbed,ravingwithbrainfever,twodaysafteryoulefttheplace.Rememberthat.”
Carrisforddroppedhisforeheadinhishands.
“GoodGod!Yes,”hesaid.
“Iwasdrivenmadwithdreadandhorror.Ihadnotsleptforweeks.
ThenightIstaggeredoutofmyhousealltheairseemedfullofhideousthingsmockingandmouthingatme.”
“Thatisexplanationenoughinitself,”saidMr.Carmichael.“Howcouldamanonthevergeofbrainfeverjudgesanely!”
Carrisfordshookhisdroopinghead.
“AndwhenIreturnedtoconsciousnesspoorCrewewasdead—andburied.AndIseemedtoremembernothing.
Ididnotrememberthechildformonthsandmonths.
EvenwhenIbegantorecallherexistenceeverythingseemedinasortofhaze.”
Hestoppedamomentandrubbedhisforehead.“ItsometimesseemssonowwhenItrytoremember.SurelyImustsometimehaveheardCrewespeakoftheschoolshewassentto.Don’tyouthinkso?”
“Hemightnothavespokenofitdefinitely.Youneverseemeventohaveheardherrealname.”
“Heusedtocallherbyanoddpetnamehehadinvented.Hecalledherhis`LittleMissus.’
Butthewretchedminesdroveeverythingelseoutofourheads.Wetalkedofnothingelse.
Ifhespokeoftheschool,Iforgot—Iforgot.AndnowIshallneverremember.”
“Come,come,”saidCarmichael.“Weshallfindheryet.
WewillcontinuetosearchforMadamePascal’sgood-naturedRussians.
SheseemedtohaveavagueideathattheylivedinMoscow.Wewilltakethatasaclue.IwillgotoMoscow.”
“IfIwereabletotravel,Iwouldgowithyou,”saidCarrisford;“butIcanonlysitherewrappedinfursandstareatthefire.
AndwhenIlookintoitIseemtoseeCrewe’sgayyoungfacegazingbackatme.
Helooksasifhewereaskingmeaquestion.
SometimesIdreamofhimatnight,andhealwaysstandsbeforemeandasksthesamequestioninwords.
Canyouguesswhathesays,Carmichael?”
Mr.Carmichaelansweredhiminaratherlowvoice.
“Notexactly,”hesaid.
“Healwayssays,`Tom,oldman—Tom—whereistheLittleMissus?’”HecaughtatCarmichael’shandandclungtoit.“Imustbeabletoanswerhim—Imust!”hesaid.“Helpmetofindher.Helpme.”
OntheothersideofthewallSarawassittinginhergarrettalkingtoMelchisedec,whohadcomeoutforhiseveningmeal.
“Ithasbeenhardtobeaprincesstoday,Melchisedec,”shesaid.“Ithasbeenharderthanusual.
Itgetsharderastheweathergrowscolderandthestreetsgetmoresloppy.
WhenLavinialaughedatmymuddyskirtasIpassedherinthehall,Ithoughtofsomethingtosayallinaflash—andIonlyjuststoppedmyselfintime.
Youcan’tsneerbackatpeoplelikethat--ifyouareaprincess.
Butyouhavetobiteyourtonguetoholdyourselfin.Ibitmine.Itwasacoldafternoon,Melchisedec.Andit’sacoldnight.”
Quitesuddenlysheputherblackheaddowninherarms,assheoftendidwhenshewasalone.
“Oh,papa,”shewhispered,“whatalongtimeitseemssinceIwasyour`LittleMissus’!”
Thiswaswhathappenedthatdayonbothsidesofthewall.
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