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ButitwasaperilousthingforErmengardeandLottietomakepilgrimagestotheattic.
TheycouldneverbequitesurewhenSarawouldbethere,andtheycouldscarcelyeverbecertainthatMissAmeliawouldnotmakeatourofinspectionthroughthebedroomsafterthepupilsweresupposedtobeasleep.
Sotheirvisitswererareones,andSaralivedastrangeandlonelylife.
Itwasalonelierlifewhenshewasdownstairsthanwhenshewasinherattic.
Shehadnoonetotalkto;andwhenshewassentoutonerrandsandwalkedthroughthestreets,aforlornlittlefigurecarryingabasketoraparcel,tryingtoholdherhatonwhenthewindwasblowing,andfeelingthewatersoakthroughhershoeswhenitwasraining,shefeltasifthecrowdshurryingpasthermadeherlonelinessgreater.
WhenshehadbeenthePrincessSara,drivingthroughthestreetsinherbrougham,orwalking,attendedbyMariette,thesightofherbright,eagerlittlefaceandpicturesquecoatsandhatshadoftencausedpeopletolookafterher.
Ahappy,beautifullycaredforlittlegirlnaturallyattractsattention.
Shabby,poorlydressedchildrenarenotrareenoughandprettyenoughtomakepeopleturnaroundtolookatthemandsmile.
NoonelookedatSarainthesedays,andnooneseemedtoseeherasshehurriedalongthecrowdedpavements.
Shehadbeguntogrowveryfast,and,asshewasdressedonlyinsuchclothesastheplainerremnantsofherwardrobewouldsupply,sheknewshelookedveryqueer,indeed.
Allhervaluablegarmentshadbeendisposedof,andsuchashadbeenleftforheruseshewasexpectedtowearsolongasshecouldputthemonatall.
Sometimes,whenshepassedashopwindowwithamirrorinit,shealmostlaughedoutrightoncatchingaglimpseofherself,andsometimesherfacewentredandshebitherlipandturnedaway.
Intheevening,whenshepassedhouseswhosewindowswerelightedup,sheusedtolookintothewarmroomsandamuseherselfbyimaginingthingsaboutthepeopleshesawsittingbeforethefiresoraboutthetables.
Italwaysinterestedhertocatchglimpsesofroomsbeforetheshutterswereclosed.
TherewereseveralfamiliesinthesquareinwhichMissMinchinlived,withwhichshehadbecomequitefamiliarinawayofherown.
TheoneshelikedbestshecalledtheLargeFamily.
ShecalledittheLargeFamilynotbecausethemembersofitwerebig--for,indeed,mostofthemwerelittle—butbecausethereweresomanyofthem.
TherewereeightchildrenintheLargeFamily,andastout,rosymother,andastout,rosyfather,andastout,rosygrandmother,andanynumberofservants.
Theeightchildrenwerealwayseitherbeingtakenouttowalkortorideinperambulatorsbycomfortablenurses,ortheyweregoingtodrivewiththeirmamma,ortheywereflyingtothedoorintheeveningtomeettheirpapaandkisshimanddancearoundhimanddragoffhisovercoatandlookinthepocketsforpackages,ortheywerecrowdingaboutthenurserywindowsandlookingoutandpushingeachotherandlaughing—infact,theywerealwaysdoingsomethingenjoyableandsuitedtothetastesofalargefamily.
Sarawasquitefondofthem,andhadgiventhemnamesoutofbooks—quiteromanticnames.
ShecalledthemtheMontmorencyswhenshedidnotcallthemtheLargeFamily.
Thefat,fairbabywiththelacecapwasEthelbertaBeauchampMontmorency;thenextbabywasVioletCholmondeleyMontmorency;thelittleboywhocouldjuststaggerandwhohadsuchroundlegswasSydneyCecilVivianMontmorency;andthencameLilianEvangelineMaudMarion,RosalindGladys,GuyClarence,VeronicaEustacia,andClaudeHaroldHector.
Oneeveningaveryfunnythinghappened—though,perhaps,inonesenseitwasnotafunnythingatall.
SeveraloftheMontmorencyswereevidentlygoingtoachildren’sparty,andjustasSarawasabouttopassthedoortheywerecrossingthepavementtogetintothecarriagewhichwaswaitingforthem.
VeronicaEustaciaandRosalindGladys,inwhite-lacefrocksandlovelysashes,hadjustgotin,andGuyClarence,agedfive,wasfollowingthem.
Hewassuchaprettyfellowandhadsuchrosycheeksandblueeyes,andsuchadarlinglittleroundheadcoveredwithcurls,thatSaraforgotherbasketandshabbycloakaltogether—infact,forgoteverythingbutthatshewantedtolookathimforamoment.Soshepausedandlooked.
ItwasChristmastime,andtheLargeFamilyhadbeenhearingmanystoriesaboutchildrenwhowerepoorandhadnomammasandpapastofilltheirstockingsandtakethemtothepantomime—childrenwhowere,infact,coldandthinlycladandhungry.
Inthestories,kindpeople—sometimeslittleboysandgirlswithtenderhearts—invariablysawthepoorchildrenandgavethemmoneyorrichgifts,ortookthemhometobeautifuldinners.
GuyClarencehadbeenaffectedtotearsthatveryafternoonbythereadingofsuchastory,andhehadburnedwithadesiretofindsuchapoorchildandgiveheracertainsixpencehepossessed,andthusprovideforherforlife.
Anentiresixpence,hewassure,wouldmeanaffluenceforevermore.
Ashecrossedthestripofredcarpetlaidacrossthepavementfromthedoortothecarriage,hehadthisverysixpenceinthepocketofhisveryshortman-o-wartrousers;AndjustasRosalindGladysgotintothevehicleandjumpedontheseatinordertofeelthecushionsspringunderher,hesawSarastandingonthewetpavementinhershabbyfrockandhat,withheroldbasketonherarm,lookingathimhungrily.
Hethoughtthathereyeslookedhungrybecauseshehadperhapshadnothingtoeatforalongtime.
Hedidnotknowthattheylookedsobecauseshewashungryforthewarm,merrylifehishomeheldandhisrosyfacespokeof,andthatshehadahungrywishtosnatchhiminherarmsandkisshim.
Heonlyknewthatshehadbigeyesandathinfaceandthinlegsandacommonbasketandpoorclothes.
Soheputhishandinhispocketandfoundhissixpenceandwalkeduptoherbenignly.
“Here,poorlittlegirl,”hesaid.“Hereisasixpence.Iwillgiveittoyou.”
Sarastarted,andallatoncerealizedthatshelookedexactlylikepoorchildrenshehadseen,inherbetterdays,waitingonthepavementtowatchherasshegotoutofherbrougham.
Andshehadgiventhempenniesmanyatime.
Herfacewentredandthenitwentpale,andforasecondshefeltasifshecouldnottakethedearlittlesixpence.
“Oh,no!”shesaid.“Oh,no,thankyou;Imustn’ttakeit,indeed!”
Hervoicewassounlikeanordinarystreetchild’svoiceandhermannerwassolikethemannerofawell-bredlittlepersonthatVeronicaEustacia(whoserealnamewasJanet)andRosalindGladys(whowasreallycalledNora)leanedforwardtolisten.
ButGuyClarencewasnottobethwartedinhisbenevolence.Hethrustthesixpenceintoherhand.
“Yes,youmusttakeit,poorlittlegirl!”heinsistedstoutly.“Youcanbuythingstoeatwithit.Itisawholesixpence!”
Therewassomethingsohonestandkindinhisface,andhelookedsolikelytobeheartbrokenlydisappointedifshedidnottakeit,thatSaraknewshemustnotrefusehim.
Tobeasproudasthatwouldbeacruelthing.
Sosheactuallyputherprideinherpocket,thoughitmustbeadmittedhercheeksburned.
“Thankyou,”shesaid.“Youareakind,kindlittledarlingthing.”
Andashescrambledjoyfullyintothecarriageshewentaway,tryingtosmile,thoughshecaughtherbreathquicklyandhereyeswereshiningthroughamist.
Shehadknownthatshelookedoddandshabby,butuntilnowshehadnotknownthatshemightbetakenforabeggar.
AstheLargeFamily’scarriagedroveaway,thechildreninsideitweretalkingwithinterestedexcitement.
“Oh,Donald,”(thiswasGuyClarence’sname),Janetexclaimedalarmedly,“whydidyouofferthatlittlegirlyoursixpence?I’msuresheisnotabeggar!”
“Shedidn’tspeaklikeabeggar!”criedNora.“Andherfacedidn’treallylooklikeabeggar’sface!”
“Besides,shedidn’tbeg,”saidJanet.“Iwassoafraidshemightbeangrywithyou.Youknow,itmakespeopleangrytobetakenforbeggarswhentheyarenotbeggars.”
“Shewasn’tangry,”saidDonald,atrifledismayed,butstillfirm.“Shelaughedalittle,andshesaidIwasakind,kindlittledarlingthing.AndIwas!”—stoutly.“Itwasmywholesixpence.”
JanetandNoraexchangedglances.
“Abeggargirlwouldneverhavesaidthat,”decidedJanet.“Shewouldhavesaid,`Thankyerkindly,littlegentleman—thankyer,sir;’andperhapsshewouldhavebobbedacurtsy.”
Saraknewnothingaboutthefact,butfromthattimetheLargeFamilywasasprofoundlyinterestedinherasshewasinit.
Facesusedtoappearatthenurserywindowswhenshepassed,andmanydiscussionsconcerningherwereheldroundthefire.
“Sheisakindofservantattheseminary,”Janetsaid.“Idon’tbelieveshebelongstoanybody.Ibelievesheisanorphan.Butsheisnotabeggar,howevershabbyshelooks.”
Andafterwardshewascalledbyallofthem,“The-little-girl-who-is-not-a-beggar,”whichwas,ofcourse,ratheralongname,andsoundedveryfunnysometimeswhentheyoungestonessaiditinahurry.
Saramanagedtoboreaholeinthesixpenceandhungitonanoldbitofnarrowribbonroundherneck.
HeraffectionfortheLargeFamilyincreased—as,indeed,heraffectionforeverythingshecouldloveincreased.
ShegrewfonderandfonderofBecky,andsheusedtolookforwardtothetwomorningsaweekwhenshewentintotheschoolroomtogivethelittleonestheirFrenchlesson.
Hersmallpupilslovedher,andstrovewitheachotherfortheprivilegeofstandingclosetoherandinsinuatingtheirsmallhandsintohers.
Itfedherhungryhearttofeelthemnestlinguptoher.
Shemadesuchfriendswiththesparrowsthatwhenshestooduponthetable,putherheadandshouldersoutoftheatticwindow,andchirped,sheheardalmostimmediatelyaflutterofwingsandansweringtwitters,andalittleflockofdingytownbirdsappearedandalightedontheslatestotalktoherandmakemuchofthecrumbsshescattered.
WithMelchisedecshehadbecomesointimatethatheactuallybroughtMrs.Melchisedecwithhimsometimes,andnowandthenoneortwoofhischildren.
Sheusedtotalktohim,and,somehow,helookedquiteasifheunderstood.
TherehadgrowninhermindratherastrangefeelingaboutEmily,whoalwayssatandlookedonateverything.
Itaroseinoneofhermomentsofgreatdesolateness.
ShewouldhavelikedtobelieveorpretendtobelievethatEmilyunderstoodandsympathizedwithher.
Shedidnotliketoowntoherselfthatheronlycompanioncouldfeelandhearnothing.
Sheusedtoputherinachairsometimesandsitoppositetoherontheoldredfootstool,andstareandpretendaboutheruntilherowneyeswouldgrowlargewithsomethingwhichwasalmostlikefear—particularlyatnightwheneverythingwassostill,whentheonlysoundintheatticwastheoccasionalsuddenscurryandsqueakofMelchisedec’sfamilyinthewall.
Oneofher“pretends”wasthatEmilywasakindofgoodwitchwhocouldprotecther.
Sometimes,aftershehadstaredatheruntilshewaswroughtuptothehighestpitchoffancifulness,shewouldaskherquestionsandfindherselfalmostfeelingasifshewouldpresentlyanswer.Butsheneverdid.
“Astoanswering,though,”saidSara,tryingtoconsoleherself,“Idon’tanswerveryoften.IneveranswerwhenIcanhelpit.
Whenpeopleareinsultingyou,thereisnothingsogoodforthemasnottosayaword—justtolookatthemandthink.
MissMinchinturnspalewithragewhenIdoit,MissAmelialooksfrightened,andsodothegirls.
Whenyouwillnotflyintoapassionpeopleknowyouarestrongerthantheyare,becauseyouarestrongenoughtoholdinyourrage,andtheyarenot,andtheysaystupidthingstheywishtheyhadn’tsaidafterward.
There’snothingsostrongasrage,exceptwhatmakesyouholditin—that’sstronger.
It’sagoodthingnottoansweryourenemies.Iscarcelyeverdo.
PerhapsEmilyismorelikemethanIamlikemyself.
Perhapsshewouldrathernotanswerherfriends,even.Shekeepsitallinherheart.”
Butthoughshetriedtosatisfyherselfwiththesearguments,shedidnotfinditeasy.
When,afteralong,hardday,inwhichshehadbeensenthereandthere,sometimesonlongerrandsthroughwindandcoldandrain,shecameinwetandhungry,andwassentoutagainbecausenobodychosetorememberthatshewasonlyachild,andthatherslimlegsmightbetiredandhersmallbodymightbechilled;whenshehadbeengivenonlyharshwordsandcold,slightinglooksforthanks;whenthecookhadbeenvulgarandinsolent;whenMissMinchinhadbeeninherworstmood,andwhenshehadseenthegirlssneeringamongthemselvesathershabbiness—thenshewasnotalwaysabletocomforthersore,proud,desolateheartwithfancieswhenEmilymerelysatuprightinheroldchairandstared.
Oneofthesenights,whenshecameuptotheatticcoldandhungry,withatempestraginginheryoungbreast,Emily’sstareseemedsovacant,hersawdustlegsandarmssoinexpressive,thatSaralostallcontroloverherself.
TherewasnobodybutEmily—nooneintheworld.Andthereshesat.
“Ishalldiepresently,”shesaidatfirst.
Emilysimplystared.
“Ican’tbearthis,”saidthepoorchild,trembling.“IknowIshalldie.
I’mcold;I’mwet;I’mstarvingtodeath.
I’vewalkedathousandmilestoday,andtheyhavedonenothingbutscoldmefrommorninguntilnight.
AndbecauseIcouldnotfindthatlastthingthecooksentmefor,theywouldnotgivemeanysupper.
Somemenlaughedatmebecausemyoldshoesmademeslipdowninthemud.I’mcoveredwithmudnow.Andtheylaughed.Doyouhear?”
Shelookedatthestaringglasseyesandcomplacentface,andsuddenlyasortofheartbrokenrageseizedher.
SheliftedherlittlesavagehandandknockedEmilyoffthechair,burstingintoapassionofsobbing—Sarawhonevercried.
“Youarenothingbutadoll!”shecried.“Nothingbutadoll—doll—doll!Youcarefornothing.Youarestuffedwithsawdust.Youneverhadaheart.Nothingcouldevermakeyoufeel.Youareadoll!”
Emilylayonthefloor,withherlegsignominiouslydoubledupoverherhead,andanewflatplaceontheendofhernose;butshewascalm,evendignified.Sarahidherfaceinherarms.
Theratsinthewallbegantofightandbiteeachotherandsqueakandscramble.
Melchisedecwaschastisingsomeofhisfamily.
Sara’ssobsgraduallyquietedthemselves.
Itwassounlikehertobreakdownthatshewassurprisedatherself.
AfterawhilesheraisedherfaceandlookedatEmily,whoseemedtobegazingatherroundthesideofoneangle,and,somehow,bythistimeactuallywithakindofglassy-eyedsympathy.Sarabentandpickedherup.Remorseovertookher.
Sheevensmiledatherselfaverylittlesmile.
“Youcan’thelpbeingadoll,”shesaidwitharesignedsigh,“anymorethanLaviniaandJessiecanhelpnothavinganysense.Wearenotallmadealike.Perhapsyoudoyoursawdustbest.”
Andshekissedherandshookherclothesstraight,andputherbackuponherchair.
Shehadwishedverymuchthatsomeonewouldtaketheemptyhousenextdoor.
Shewisheditbecauseoftheatticwindowwhichwassonearhers.
Itseemedasifitwouldbesonicetoseeitproppedopensomedayandaheadandshouldersrisingoutofthesquareaperture.
“Ifitlookedanicehead,”shethought,“Imightbeginbysaying,`Goodmorning,’andallsortsofthingsmighthappen.
But,ofcourse,it’snotreallylikelythatanyonebutunderservantswouldsleepthere.”
Onemorning,onturningthecornerofthesquareafteravisittothegrocer’s,thebutcher’s,andthebaker’s,shesaw,tohergreatdelight,thatduringherratherprolongedabsence,avanfulloffurniturehadstoppedbeforethenexthouse,thefrontdoorswerethrownopen,andmeninshirtsleevesweregoinginandoutcarryingheavypackagesandpiecesoffurniture.
“It’staken!”shesaid.“Itreallyistaken!Oh,Idohopeaniceheadwilllookoutoftheatticwindow!”
Shewouldalmosthavelikedtojointhegroupofloitererswhohadstoppedonthepavementtowatchthethingscarriedin.
Shehadanideathatifshecouldseesomeofthefurnitureshecouldguesssomethingaboutthepeopleitbelongedto.
“MissMinchin’stablesandchairsarejustlikeher,”shethought;“IrememberthinkingthatthefirstminuteIsawher,eventhoughIwassolittle.
Itoldpapaafterward,andhelaughedandsaiditwastrue.
IamsuretheLargeFamilyhavefat,comfortablearmchairsandsofas,andIcanseethattheirred-flowerywallpaperisexactlylikethem.
It’swarmandcheerfulandkind-lookingandhappy.”
Shewassentoutforparsleytothegreengrocer’slaterintheday,andwhenshecameuptheareastepsherheartgavequiteaquickbeatofrecognition.
Severalpiecesoffurniturehadbeensetoutofthevanuponthepavement.
Therewasabeautifultableofelaboratelywroughtteakwood,andsomechairs,andascreencoveredwithrichOrientalembroidery.
Thesightofthemgaveheraweird,homesickfeeling.
ShehadseenthingssoliketheminIndia.
OneofthethingsMissMinchinhadtakenfromherwasacarvedteakwooddeskherfatherhadsenther.
“Theyarebeautifulthings,”shesaid;“theylookasiftheyoughttobelongtoaniceperson.Allthethingslookrathergrand.Isupposeitisarichfamily.”
Thevansoffurniturecameandwereunloadedandgaveplacetoothersalltheday.
SeveraltimesitsohappenedthatSarahadanopportunityofseeingthingscarriedin.
Itbecameplainthatshehadbeenrightinguessingthatthenewcomerswerepeopleoflargemeans.
Allthefurniturewasrichandbeautiful,andagreatdealofitwasOriental.
Wonderfulrugsanddraperiesandornamentsweretakenfromthevans,manypictures,andbooksenoughforalibrary.
AmongotherthingstherewasasuperbgodBuddhainasplendidshrine.
“SomeoneinthefamilymusthavebeeninIndia,”Sarathought.
“TheyhavegotusedtoIndianthingsandlikethem.Iamglad.
Ishallfeelasiftheywerefriends,evenifaheadneverlooksoutoftheatticwindow.”
Whenshewastakingintheevening’smilkforthecook(therewasreallynooddjobshewasnotcalledupontodo),shesawsomethingoccurwhichmadethesituationmoreinterestingthanever.
Thehandsome,rosymanwhowasthefatheroftheLargeFamilywalkedacrossthesquareinthemostmatter-of-factmanner,andranupthestepsofthenext-doorhouse.
Heranupthemasifhefeltquiteathomeandexpectedtorunupanddownthemmanyatimeinthefuture.
Hestayedinsidequitealongtime,andseveraltimescameoutandgavedirectionstotheworkmen,asifhehadarighttodoso.
Itwasquitecertainthathewasinsomeintimatewayconnectedwiththenewcomersandwasactingforthem.
“Ifthenewpeoplehavechildren,”Saraspeculated,“theLargeFamilychildrenwillbesuretocomeandplaywiththem,andtheymightcomeupintotheatticjustforfun.”
Atnight,afterherworkwasdone,Beckycameintoseeherfellowprisonerandbringhernews.
“It’sa’Nindiangentlemanthat’scomin’tolivenextdoor,miss,”shesaid.
“Idon’tknowwhetherhe’sablackgentlemanornot,buthe’saNindianone.
He’sveryrich,an’he’sill,an’thegentlemanoftheLargeFamilyishislawyer.
He’shadalotoftrouble,an’it’smadehimillan’lowinhismind.Heworshipsidols,miss.
He’san‘eathenan’bowsdowntowoodan’stone.
Iseena’idolbein’carriedinforhimtoworship.Somebodyhadoughtersendhimatrac’.Youcangetatrac’forapenny.”
Saralaughedalittle.
“Idon’tbelieveheworshipsthatidol,”shesaid;“somepeopleliketokeepthemtolookatbecausetheyareinteresting.Mypapahadabeautifulone,andhedidnotworshipit.”
ButBeckywasratherinclinedtoprefertobelievethatthenewneighborwas“an‘eathen.”
Itsoundedsomuchmoreromanticthanthatheshouldmerelybetheordinarykindofgentlemanwhowenttochurchwithaprayerbook.
Shesatandtalkedlongthatnightofwhathewouldbelike,ofwhathiswifewouldbelikeifhehadone,andofwhathischildrenwouldbelikeiftheyhadchildren.
Sarasawthatprivatelyshecouldnothelphopingverymuchthattheywouldallbeblack,andwouldwearturbans,and,aboveall,that—liketheirparent—theywouldallbe”’eathens.”
“Ineverlivednextdoortono‘eathens,miss,”shesaid;“Ishouldliketoseewhatsorto’waysthey’dhave.”
Itwasseveralweeksbeforehercuriositywassatisfied,andthenitwasrevealedthatthenewoccupanthadneitherwifenorchildren.
Hewasasolitarymanwithnofamilyatall,anditwasevidentthathewasshatteredinhealthandunhappyinmind.
Acarriagedroveuponedayandstoppedbeforethehouse.
WhenthefootmandismountedfromtheboxandopenedthedoorthegentlemanwhowasthefatheroftheLargeFamilygotoutfirst.
Afterhimtheredescendedanurseinuniform,thencamedownthestepstwomen-servants.
Theycametoassisttheirmaster,who,whenhewashelpedoutofthecarriage,provedtobeamanwithahaggard,distressedface,andaskeletonbodywrappedinfurs.
Hewascarriedupthesteps,andtheheadoftheLargeFamilywentwithhim,lookingveryanxious.
Shortlyafterwardadoctor’scarriagearrived,andthedoctorwentin—plainlytotakecareofhim.
“Thereissuchayellowgentlemannextdoor,Sara,”LottiewhisperedattheFrenchclassafterward.“DoyouthinkheisaChinee?ThegeographysaystheChineemenareyellow.”
“No,heisnotChinese,”Sarawhisperedback;“heisveryill.Goonwithyourexercise,Lottie.`Non,monsieur.Jen’aipaslecanifdemononcle.’”
ThatwasthebeginningofthestoryoftheIndiangentleman.
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