Butabove-stairsitwasdifferent.Oneday,forinstance,afterbreakfast,thekingwentintohiscountinghouse,andcountedouthismoney. Theoperationgavehimnopleasure. “Tothink,”saidhetohimself,“thateveryoneofthesegoldsovereignsweighsaquarterofanounce,andmyreal,live,flesh-and-bloodprincessweighsnothingatall!” Andhehatedhisgoldsovereigns,astheylaywithabroadsmileofself-satisfactionallovertheiryellowfaces. Thequeenwasintheparlour,eatingbreadandhoney. Butatthesecondmouthfulsheburstoutcrying,andcouldnotswallowit.Thekingheardhersobbing. Gladofanybody,butespeciallyofhisqueen,toquarrelwith,heclashedhisgoldsovereignsintohismoneybox,clappedhiscrownonhishead,andrushedintotheparlour. “Whatisallthisabout?”exclaimedhe.“Whatareyoucryingfor,queen?” “Ican’teatit,”saidthequeen,lookingruefullyatthehoney-pot. “Nowonder!”retortedtheking.“You’vejusteatenyourbreakfast—twoturkeyeggs,andthreeanchovies.” “Oh,that’snotit!”sobbedherMajesty.“It’smychild,mychild!” “Well,what’sthematterwithyourchild?She’sneitherupthechimneynordownthedraw-well.Justhearherlaughing.” Yetthekingcouldnothelpasigh,whichhetriedtoturnintoacough,saying: “Itisagoodthingtobelight-hearted,Iamsure,whethershebeoursornot.” “Itisabadthingtobelight-headed,”answeredthequeen,lookingwithpropheticsoulfarintothefuture. “’Tisagoodthingtobelight-handed,”saidtheking. “’Tisabadthingtobelight-fingered,”answeredthequeen. “’Tisagoodthingtobelight-footed,”saidtheking. “’Tisabadthing—”beganthequeen;butthekinginterruptedher. “Infact,”saidhe,withthetoneofonewhoconcludesanargumentinwhichhehashadonlyimaginaryopponents,andinwhich,therefore,hehascomeofftriumphant—”infact,itisagoodthingaltogethertobelight-bodied.” “Butitisabadthingaltogethertobelight-minded,”retortedthequeen,whowasbeginningtolosehertemper. ThislastanswerquitediscomfitedhisMajesty,whoturnedonhisheel,andbetookhimselftohiscountinghouseagain.Buthewasnothalfwaytowardsit,whenthevoiceofhisqueenovertookhim. “Andit’sabadthingtobelight-haired,”screamedshe,determinedtohavemorelastwords,nowthatherspiritwasroused. Thequeen’shairwasblackasnight;andtheking’shadbeen,andhisdaughter’swas,goldenasmorning. Butitwasnotthisreflectiononhishairthatarrestedhim;itwasthedoubleuseofthewordlight. Forthekinghatedallwitticisms,andpunningespecially. Andbesides,hecouldnottellwhetherthequeenmeantlight-hairedorlight-haired;forwhymightshenotaspiratehervowelswhenshewasexasperatedherself? Heturneduponhisotherheel,andrejoinedher.Shelookedangrystill,becausesheknewthatshewasguilty,or,whatwasmuchthesame,knewthathethoughtso. “Mydearqueen,”saidhe,“duplicityofanysortisexceedinglyobjectionablebetweenmarriedpeopleofanyrank,nottosaykingsandqueens;andthemostobjectionableformduplicitycanassumeisthatofpunning.” “There!”saidthequeen,“Inevermadeajest,butIbrokeitinthemaking.Iamthemostunfortunatewomanintheworld!” Shelookedsoruefulthatthekingtookherinhisarms;andtheysatdowntoconsult. “Canyoubearthis?”saidtheking. “No,Ican’t,”saidthequeen. “Well,what’stobedone?”saidtheking. “I’msureIdon’tknow,”saidthequeen.“Butmightyounottryanapology?” “Tomyoldsister,Isupposeyoumean?”saidtheking. “Well,Idon’tmind,”saidtheking. Sohewentthenextmorningtothehouseoftheprincess,and,makingaveryhumbleapology,beggedhertoundothespell. Buttheprincessdeclared,withagraveface,thatsheknewnothingatallaboutit. Hereyes,however,shonepink,whichwasasignthatshewashappy. Sheadvisedthekingandqueentohavepatience,andtomendtheirways.Thekingreturneddisconsolate.Thequeentriedtocomforthim. “Wewillwaittillsheisolder.Shemaythenbeabletosuggestsomethingherself.Shewillknowatleasthowshefeels,andexplainthingstous.” “Butwhatifsheshouldmarry?”exclaimedtheking,insuddenconsternationattheidea. “Well,whatofthat?”rejoinedthequeen. “Justthink!Ifsheweretohavechildren!Inthecourseofahundredyearstheairmightbeasfulloffloatingchildrenasofgossamersinautumn.” “Thatisnobusinessofours,”repliedthequeen.“Besides,bythattimetheywillhavelearnedtotakecareofthemselves.” Asighwastheking’sonlyanswer. Hewouldhaveconsultedthecourtphysicians;buthewasafraidtheywouldtryexperimentsuponher. 
