English
Helayinprisonveryill,duringthewholeintervalbetweenhiscommittalfortrial,andthecomingroundoftheSessions.
Hehadbrokentworibs,theyhadwoundedoneofhislungs,andhebreathedwithgreatpainanddifficulty,whichincreaseddaily.
Itwasaconsequenceofhishurt,thathespokesolowastobescarcelyaudible;therefore,hespokeverylittle.
But,hewaseverreadytolistentome,anditbecamethefirstdutyofmylifetosaytohim,andreadtohim,whatIknewheoughttohear.
Beingfartooilltoremaininthecommonprison,hewasremoved,afterthefirstdayorso,intotheinfirmary.
ThisgavemeopportunitiesofbeingwithhimthatIcouldnototherwisehavehad.
Andbutforhisillnesshewouldhavebeenputinirons,forhewasregardedasadeterminedprison-breaker,andIknownotwhatelse.
AlthoughIsawhimeveryday,itwasforonlyashorttime;hence,theregularlyrecurringspacesofourseparationwerelongenoughtorecordonhisfaceanyslightchangesthatoccurredinhisphysicalstate.
IdonotrecollectthatIoncesawanychangeinitforthebetter;hewasted,andbecameslowlyweakerandworse,daybyday,fromthedaywhentheprisondoorcloseduponhim.
Thekindofsubmissionorresignationthatheshowed,wasthatofamanwhowastiredout.
Isometimesderivedanimpression,fromhismannerorfromawhisperedwordortwowhichescapedhim,thatheponderedoverthequestionwhetherhemighthavebeenabettermanunderbettercircumstances.
But,heneverjustifiedhimselfbyahinttendingthatway,ortriedtobendthepastoutofitseternalshape.
Ithappenedontwoorthreeoccasionsinmypresence,thathisdesperatereputationwasalludedtobyoneorotherofthepeopleinattendanceonhim.
Asmilecrossedhisfacethen,andheturnedhiseyesonmewithatrustfullook,asifhewereconfidentthatIhadseensomesmallredeemingtouchinhim,evensolongagoaswhenIwasalittlechild.
Astoalltherest,hewashumbleandcontrite,andIneverknewhimcomplain.
WhentheSessionscameround,Mr.JaggerscausedanapplicationtobemadeforthepostponementofhistrialuntilthefollowingSessions.
Itwasobviouslymadewiththeassurancethathecouldnotlivesolong,andwasrefused.
Thetrialcameonatonce,and,whenhewasputtothebar,hewasseatedinachair.
Noobjectionwasmadetomygettingclosetothedock,ontheoutsideofit,andholdingthehandthathestretchedforthtome.
Thetrialwasveryshortandveryclear.
Suchthingsascouldbesaidforhim,weresaid—howhehadtakentoindustrioushabits,andhadthrivenlawfullyandreputably.
But,nothingcouldunsaythefactthathehadreturned,andwasthereinpresenceoftheJudgeandJury.
Itwasimpossibletotryhimforthat,anddootherwisethanfindhimguilty.
Atthattime,itwasthecustom(asIlearntfrommyterribleexperienceofthatSessions)todevoteaconcludingdaytothepassingofSentences,andtomakeafinishingeffectwiththeSentenceofDeath.
Butfortheindeliblepicturethatmyremembrancenowholdsbeforeme,Icouldscarcelybelieve,evenasIwritethesewords,thatIsawtwo-and-thirtymenandwomenputbeforetheJudgetoreceivethatsentencetogether.
Foremostamongthetwo-and-thirty,washe;seated,thathemightgetbreathenoughtokeeplifeinhim.
Thewholescenestartsoutagaininthevividcoloursofthemoment,downtothedropsofAprilrainonthewindowsofthecourt,glitteringintheraysofAprilsun.
Pennedinthedock,asIagainstoodoutsideitatthecornerwithhishandinmine,werethetwo-and-thirtymenandwomen;somedefiant,somestrickenwithterror,somesobbingandweeping,somecoveringtheirfaces,somestaringgloomilyabout.
Therehadbeenshrieksfromamongthewomenconvicts,buttheyhadbeenstilled,ahushhadsucceeded.
Thesheriffswiththeirgreatchainsandnosegays,othercivicgewgawsandmonsters,criers,ushers,agreatgalleryfullofpeople—alargetheatricalaudience—lookedon,asthetwo-and-thirtyandtheJudgeweresolemnlyconfronted.Then,theJudgeaddressedthem.
Amongthewretchedcreaturesbeforehimwhomhemustsingleoutforspecialaddress,wasonewhoalmostfromhisinfancyhadbeenanoffenderagainstthelaws;who,afterrepeatedimprisonmentsandpunishments,hadbeenatlengthsentencedtoexileforatermofyears;andwho,undercircumstancesofgreatviolenceanddaringhadmadehisescapeandbeenre-sentencedtoexileforlife.
Thatmiserablemanwouldseemforatimetohavebecomeconvincedofhiserrors,whenfarremovedfromthescenesofhisoldoffences,andtohavelivedapeaceableandhonestlife.
Butinafatalmoment,yieldingtothosepropensitiesandpassions,theindulgenceofwhichhadsolongrenderedhimascourgetosociety,hehadquittedhishavenofrestandrepentance,andhadcomebacktothecountrywherehewasproscribed.
Beingherepresentlydenounced,hehadforatimesucceededinevadingtheofficersofJustice,butbeingatlengthseizedwhileintheactofflight,hehadresistedthem,andhad—hebestknewwhetherbyexpressdesign,orintheblindnessofhishardihood—causedthedeathofhisdenouncer,towhomhiswholecareerwasknown.
Theappointedpunishmentforhisreturntothelandthathadcasthimout,beingDeath,andhiscasebeingthisaggravatedcase,hemustpreparehimselftoDie.
Thesunwasstrikinginatthegreatwindowsofthecourt,throughtheglitteringdropsofrainupontheglass,anditmadeabroadshaftoflightbetweenthetwo-and-thirtyandtheJudge,linkingbothtogether,andperhapsremindingsomeamongtheaudience,howbothwerepassingon,withabsoluteequality,tothegreaterJudgmentthatknowethallthingsandcannoterr.
Risingforamoment,adistinctspeckoffaceinthiswayoflight,theprisonersaid,“MyLord,IhavereceivedmysentenceofDeathfromtheAlmighty,butIbowtoyours,”andsatdownagain.
Therewassomehushing,andtheJudgewentonwithwhathehadtosaytotherest.
Then,theywereallformallydoomed,andsomeofthemweresupportedout,andsomeofthemsaunteredoutwithahaggardlookofbravery,andafewnoddedtothegallery,andtwoorthreeshookhands,andotherswentoutchewingthefragmentsofherbtheyhadtakenfromthesweetherbslyingabout.
Hewentlastofall,becauseofhavingtobehelpedfromhischairandtogoveryslowly;andheheldmyhandwhilealltheotherswereremoved,andwhiletheaudiencegotup(puttingtheirdressesright,astheymightatchurchorelsewhere)andpointeddownatthiscriminaloratthat,andmostofallathimandme.
IearnestlyhopedandprayedthathemightdiebeforetheRecorder’sReportwasmade,but,inthedreadofhislingeringon,IbeganthatnighttowriteoutapetitiontotheHomeSecretaryofState,settingforthmyknowledgeofhim,andhowitwasthathehadcomebackformysake.
IwroteitasferventlyandpatheticallyasIcould,andwhenIhadfinisheditandsentitin,IwroteoutotherpetitionstosuchmeninauthorityasIhopedwerethemostmerciful,anddrewuponetotheCrownitself.
ForseveraldaysandnightsafterhewassentencedItooknorestexceptwhenIfellasleepinmychair,butwaswhollyabsorbedintheseappeals.
AndafterIhadsentthemin,Icouldnotkeepawayfromtheplaceswheretheywere,butfeltasiftheyweremorehopefulandlessdesperatewhenIwasnearthem.
Inthisunreasonablerestlessnessandpainofmind,Iwouldroamthestreetsofanevening,wanderingbythoseofficesandhouseswhereIhadleftthepetitions.
Tothepresenthour,thewearywesternstreetsofLondononacolddustyspringnight,withtheirrangesofsternshut-upmansionsandtheirlongrowsoflamps,aremelancholytomefromthisassociation.
ThedailyvisitsIcouldmakehimwereshortenednow,andhewasmorestrictlykept.
Seeing,orfancying,thatIwassuspectedofanintentionofcarryingpoisontohim,IaskedtobesearchedbeforeIsatdownathisbedside,andtoldtheofficerwhowasalwaysthere,thatIwaswillingtodoanythingthatwouldassurehimofthesinglenessofmydesigns.Nobodywashardwithhim,orwithme.
Therewasdutytobedone,anditwasdone,butnotharshly.
Theofficeralwaysgavemetheassurancethathewasworse,andsomeothersickprisonersintheroom,andsomeotherprisonerswhoattendedonthemassicknurses(malefactors,butnotincapableofkindness,Godbethanked!),alwaysjoinedinthesamereport.
Asthedayswenton,Inoticedmoreandmorethathewouldlieplacidlylookingatthewhiteceiling,withanabsenceoflightinhisface,untilsomewordofminebrighteneditforaninstant,andthenitwouldsubsideagain.
Sometimeshewasalmost,orquite,unabletospeak;then,hewouldanswermewithslightpressuresonmyhand,andIgrewtounderstandhismeaningverywell.
Thenumberofthedayshadrisentoten,whenIsawagreaterchangeinhimthanIhadseenyet.Hiseyeswereturnedtowardsthedoor,andlightedupasIentered.
“Dearboy,”hesaid,asIsatdownbyhisbed:“Ithoughtyouwaslate.ButIknowedyoucouldn’tbethat.”
“Itisjustthetime,”saidI.“Iwaitedforitatthegate.”
“Youalwayswaitsatthegate;don’tyou,dearboy?”
“Yes.Nottoloseamomentofthetime.”
“Thank’eedearboy,thank’ee.Godblessyou!You’veneverdesertedme,dearboy.”
Ipressedhishandinsilence,forIcouldnotforgetthatIhadoncemeanttodeserthim.
“Andwhat’sthebestofall,”hesaid,“you’vebeenmorecomfortablealongerme,sinceIwasunderadarkcloud,thanwhenthesunshone.That’sbestofall.”
Helayonhisback,breathingwithgreatdifficulty.Dowhathewould,andlovemethoughhedid,thelightlefthisfaceeverandagain,andafilmcameovertheplacidlookatthewhiteceiling.
“Areyouinmuchpainto-day?”
“Idon’tcomplainofnone,dearboy.”
“Youneverdocomplain.”
Hehadspokenhislastwords.Hesmiled,andIunderstoodhistouchtomeanthathewishedtoliftmyhand,andlayitonhisbreast.
Ilaiditthere,andhesmiledagain,andputbothhishandsuponit.
Theallottedtimeranout,whilewewerethus;but,lookinground,Ifoundthegovernoroftheprisonstandingnearme,andhewhispered,“Youneedn’tgoyet.”
Ithankedhimgratefully,andasked,“MightIspeaktohim,ifhecanhearme?”
Thegovernorsteppedaside,andbeckonedtheofficeraway.
Thechange,thoughitwasmadewithoutnoise,drewbackthefilmfromtheplacidlookatthewhiteceiling,andhelookedmostaffectionatelyatme.
“DearMagwitch,Imusttellyou,nowatlast.YouunderstandwhatIsay?”
Agentlepressureonmyhand.
“Youhadachildonce,whomyoulovedandlost.”
Astrongerpressureonmyhand.
“Shelivedandfoundpowerfulfriends.Sheislivingnow.Sheisaladyandverybeautiful.AndIloveher!”
Withalastfainteffort,whichwouldhavebeenpowerlessbutformyyieldingtoitandassistingit,heraisedmyhandtohislips.
Then,hegentlyletitsinkuponhisbreastagain,withhisownhandslyingonit.
Theplacidlookatthewhiteceilingcameback,andpassedaway,andhisheaddroppedquietlyonhisbreast.
Mindful,then,ofwhatwehadreadtogether,IthoughtofthetwomenwhowentupintotheTempletopray,andIknewtherewerenobetterwordsthatIcouldsaybesidehisbed,than“OLord,bemercifultohim,asinner!”
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