English
Itwasadarknight,thoughthefullmoonroseasIlefttheenclosedlands,andpassedoutuponthemarshes.
Beyondtheirdarklinetherewasaribbonofclearsky,hardlybroadenoughtoholdtheredlargemoon.
Inafewminutesshehadascendedoutofthatclearfield,inamongthepiledmountainsofcloud.
Therewasamelancholywind,andthemarsheswereverydismal.
Astrangerwouldhavefoundtheminsupportable,andeventometheyweresooppressivethatIhesitated,halfinclinedtogoback.
But,Iknewthemwell,andcouldhavefoundmywayonafardarkernight,andhadnoexcuseforreturning,beingthere.
So,havingcomethereagainstmyinclination,Iwentonagainstit.
ThedirectionthatItook,wasnotthatinwhichmyoldhomelay,northatinwhichwehadpursuedtheconvicts.
MybackwasturnedtowardsthedistantHulksasIwalkedon,and,thoughIcouldseetheoldlightsawayonthespitsofsand,Isawthemovermyshoulder.
IknewthelimekilnaswellasIknewtheoldBattery,buttheyweremilesapart;sothatifalighthadbeenburningateachpointthatnight,therewouldhavebeenalongstripoftheblankhorizonbetweenthetwobrightspecks.
Atfirst,Ihadtoshutsomegatesafterme,andnowandthentostandstillwhilethecattlethatwerelyinginthebanked-uppathway,aroseandblundereddownamongthegrassandreeds.
Butafteralittlewhile,Iseemedtohavethewholeflatstomyself.
Itwasanotherhalf-hourbeforeIdrewneartothekiln.
Thelimewasburningwithasluggishstiflingsmell,butthefiresweremadeupandleft,andnoworkmenwerevisible.Hardby,wasasmallstone-quarry.
Itlaydirectlyinmyway,andhadbeenworkedthatday,asIsawbythetoolsandbarrowsthatwerelyingabout.
Comingupagaintothemarshleveloutofthisexcavation—fortherudepathlaythroughit—Isawalightintheoldsluice-house.
Iquickenedmypace,andknockedatthedoorwithmyhand.
Waitingforsomereply,Ilookedaboutme,noticinghowthesluicewasabandonedandbroken,andhowthehouse—ofwoodwithatiledroof—wouldnotbeproofagainsttheweathermuchlonger,ifitweresoevennow,andhowthemudandoozewerecoatedwithlime,andhowthechokingvapourofthekilncreptinaghostlywaytowardsme.
Stilltherewasnoanswer,andIknockedagain.Noanswerstill,andItriedthelatch.
Itroseundermyhand,andthedooryielded.
Lookingin,Isawalightedcandleonatable,abench,andamattressonatrucklebedstead.
Astherewasaloftabove,Icalled,“Isthereanyonehere?”butnovoiceanswered.
Then,Ilookedatmywatch,and,findingthatitwaspastnine,calledagain,“Isthereanyonehere?”
Therebeingstillnoanswer,Iwentoutatthedoor,irresolutewhattodo.
Itwasbeginningtorainfast.SeeingnothingsavewhatIhadseenalready,Iturnedbackintothehouse,andstoodjustwithintheshelterofthedoorway,lookingoutintothenight.
WhileIwasconsideringthatsomeonemusthavebeentherelatelyandmustsoonbecomingback,orthecandlewouldnotbeburning,itcameintomyheadtolookifthewickwerelong.
Iturnedroundtodoso,andhadtakenupthecandleinmyhand,whenitwasextinguishedbysomeviolentshock,andthenextthingIcomprehended,was,thatIhadbeencaughtinastrongrunningnoose,thrownovermyheadfrombehind.
“Now,”saidasuppressedvoicewithanoath,“I’vegotyou!”
“Whatisthis?”Icried,struggling.“Whoisit?Help,help,help!”
Notonlyweremyarmspulledclosetomysides,butthepressureonmybadarmcausedmeexquisitepain.
Sometimes,astrongman’shand,sometimesastrongman’sbreast,wassetagainstmymouthtodeadenmycries,andwithahotbreathalwaysclosetome,Istruggledineffectuallyinthedark,whileIwasfastenedtighttothewall.
“Andnow,”saidthesuppressedvoicewithanotheroath,“calloutagain,andI’llmakeshortworkofyou!”
Faintandsickwiththepainofmyinjuredarm,bewilderedbythesurprise,andyetconscioushoweasilythisthreatcouldbeputinexecution,Idesisted,andtriedtoeasemyarmwereiteversolittle.But,itwasboundtootightforthat.
Ifeltasif,havingbeenburntbefore,itwerenowbeingboiled.
Thesuddenexclusionofthenightandthesubstitutionofblackdarknessinitsplace,warnedmethatthemanhadclosedashutter.
Aftergropingaboutforalittle,hefoundtheflintandsteelhewanted,andbegantostrikealight.
Istrainedmysightuponthesparksthatfellamongthetinder,anduponwhichhebreathedandbreathed,matchinhand,butIcouldonlyseehislips,andthebluepointofthematch;eventhose,butfitfully.
Thetinderwasdamp—nowonderthere—andoneafteranotherthesparksdiedout.
Themanwasinnohurry,andstruckagainwiththeflintandsteel.
Asthesparksfellthickandbrightabouthim,Icouldseehishands,andtouchesofhisface,andcouldmakeoutthathewasseatedandbendingoverthetable;butnothingmore.
PresentlyIsawhisbluelipsagain,breathingonthetinder,andthenaflareoflightflashedup,andshowedmeOrlick.
WhomIhadlookedfor,Idon’tknow.Ihadnotlookedforhim.Seeinghim,IfeltthatIwasinadangerousstraitindeed,andIkeptmyeyesuponhim.
Helightedthecandlefromtheflaringmatchwithgreatdeliberation,anddroppedthematch,andtroditout.
Then,heputthecandleawayfromhimonthetable,sothathecouldseeme,andsatwithhisarmsfoldedonthetableandlookedatme.
ImadeoutthatIwasfastenedtoastoutperpendicularladderafewinchesfromthewall—afixturethere—themeansofascenttotheloftabove.
“Now,”saidhe,whenwehadsurveyedoneanotherforsometime,“I’vegotyou.”
“Unbindme.Letmego!”
“Ah!”hereturned,“I’llletyougo.I’llletyougotothemoon,I’llletyougotothestars.Allingoodtime.”
“Whyhaveyouluredmehere?”
“Don’tyouknow?”saidhe,withadeadlylook
“Whyhaveyousetuponmeinthedark?”
“BecauseImeantodoitallmyself.Onekeepsasecretbetterthantwo.Ohyouenemy,youenemy!”
HisenjoymentofthespectacleIfurnished,ashesatwithhisarmsfoldedonthetable,shakinghisheadatmeandhugginghimself,hadamalignityinitthatmademetremble.
AsIwatchedhiminsilence,heputhishandintothecornerathisside,andtookupagunwithabrass-boundstock.
“Doyouknowthis?”saidhe,makingasifhewouldtakeaimatme.“Doyouknowwhereyousawitafore?Speak,wolf!”
“Yes,”Ianswered.
“Youcostmethatplace.Youdid.Speak!”
“WhatelsecouldIdo?”
“Youdidthat,andthatwouldbeenough,withoutmore.HowdaredyoutocomebetwixtmeandayoungwomanIliked?”
“WhendidI?”
“Whendidn’tyou?ItwasyouasalwaysgiveOldOrlickabadnametoher.”
“Yougaveittoyourself;yougaineditforyourself.Icouldhavedoneyounoharm,ifyouhaddoneyourselfnone.”
“You’realiar.Andyou’lltakeanypains,andspendanymoney,todrivemeoutofthiscountry,willyou?”
saidhe,repeatingmywordstoBiddyinthelastinterviewIhadwithher.
“Now,I’lltellyouapieceofinformation.
Itwasneversowellworthyourwhiletogetmeoutofthiscountryasitisto-night.Ah!
Ifitwasallyourmoneytwentytimestold,tothelastbrassfarden!”
Asheshookhisheavyhandatme,withhismouthsnarlinglikeatiger’s,Ifeltthatitwastrue.
“Whatareyougoingtodotome?”
“I’ma-going,”saidhe,bringinghisfistdownuponthetablewithaheavyblow,andrisingastheblowfell,togiveitgreaterforce,“I’ma-goingtohaveyourlife!”
Heleanedforwardstaringatme,slowlyunclenchedhishandanddrewitacrosshismouthasifhismouthwateredforme,andsatdownagain.
“YouwasalwaysinOldOrlick’swaysinceeveryouwasachild.Yougoesoutofhisway,thispresentnight.He’llhavenomoreonyou.You’redead.”
IfeltthatIhadcometothebrinkofmygrave.ForamomentIlookedwildlyroundmytrapforanychanceofescape;buttherewasnone.
“Morethanthat,”saidhe,foldinghisarmsonthetableagain,“Iwon’thavearagofyou,Iwon’thaveaboneofyou,leftonearth.
I’llputyourbodyinthekiln—I’dcarrytwosuchtoit,onmyshoulders—and,letpeoplesupposewhattheymayofyou,theyshallneverknownothing.”
Mymind,withinconceivablerapidity,followedoutalltheconsequencesofsuchadeath.
Estella’sfatherwouldbelieveIhaddesertedhim,wouldbetaken,woulddieaccusingme;evenHerbertwoulddoubtme,whenhecomparedtheletterIhadleftforhim,withthefactthatIhadcalledatMissHavisham’sgateforonlyamoment;JoeandBiddywouldneverknowhowsorryIhadbeenthatnight;nonewouldeverknowwhatIhadsuffered,howtrueIhadmeanttobe,whatanagonyIhadpassedthrough.
Thedeathclosebeforemewasterrible,butfarmoreterriblethandeathwasthedreadofbeingmisrememberedafterdeath.
Andsoquickweremythoughts,thatIsawmyselfdespisedbyunborngenerations—Estella’schildren,andtheirchildren—whilethewretch’swordswereyetonhislips.
“Now,wolf,”saidhe,“aforeIkillyoulikeanyotherbeast—whichiswotImeantodoandwotIhavetiedyouupfor—I’llhaveagoodlookatyouandagoodgoadatyou.Oh,youenemy!”
Ithadpassedthroughmythoughtstocryoutforhelpagain;thoughfewcouldknowbetterthanI,thesolitarynatureofthespot,andthehopelessnessofaid.
Butashesatgloatingoverme,Iwassupportedbyascornfuldetestationofhimthatsealedmylips.
Aboveallthings,IresolvedthatIwouldnotentreathim,andthatIwoulddiemakingsomelastpoorresistancetohim.
Softenedasmythoughtsofalltherestofmenwereinthatdireextremity;humblybeseechingpardon,asIdid,ofHeaven;meltedatheart,asIwas,bythethoughtthatIhadtakennofarewell,andnevernevernowcouldtakefarewell,ofthosewhoweredeartome,orcouldexplainmyselftothem,oraskfortheircompassiononmymiserableerrors;still,ifIcouldhavekilledhim,evenindying,Iwouldhavedoneit.
Hehadbeendrinking,andhiseyeswereredandbloodshot.
Aroundhisneckwasslungatinbottle,asIhadoftenseenhismeatanddrinkslungabouthiminotherdays.
Hebroughtthebottletohislips,andtookafierydrinkfromit;andIsmeltthestrongspiritsthatIsawflashintohisface.
“Wolf!”saidhe,foldinghisarmsagain,“OldOrlick’sa-goingtotellyousomethink.Itwasyouasdidforyourshrewsister.”
Againmymind,withitsformerinconceivablerapidity,hadexhaustedthewholesubjectoftheattackuponmysister,herillness,andherdeath,beforehisslowandhesitatingspeechhadformedthesewords.
“Itwasyou,villain,”saidI.
“Itellyouitwasyourdoing—Itellyouitwasdonethroughyou,”heretorted,catchingupthegun,andmakingablowwiththestockatthevacantairbetweenus.
“Icomeuponherfrombehind,asIcomeuponyouto-night.Igiv’ither!
Ileftherfordead,andiftherehadbeenalimekilnasnighherasthereisnownighyou,sheshouldn’thavecometolifeagain.
Butitwarn’tOldOrlickasdidit;itwasyou.
Youwasfavoured,andhewasbulliedandbeat.OldOrlickbulliedandbeat,eh?Nowyoupaysforit.Youdoneit;nowyoupaysforit.”
Hedrankagain,andbecamemoreferocious.
Isawbyhistiltingofthebottlethattherewasnogreatquantityleftinit.
Idistinctlyunderstoodthathewasworkinghimselfupwithitscontents,tomakeanendofme.
Iknewthateverydropitheld,wasadropofmylife.
IknewthatwhenIwaschangedintoapartofthevapourthathadcrepttowardsmebutalittlewhilebefore,likemyownwarningghost,hewoulddoashehaddoneinmysister’scase—makeallhastetothetown,andbeseenslouchingaboutthere,drinkingattheale-houses.
Myrapidmindpursuedhimtothetown,madeapictureofthestreetwithhiminit,andcontrasteditslightsandlifewiththelonelymarshandthewhitevapourcreepingoverit,intowhichIshouldhavedissolved.
ItwasnotonlythatIcouldhavesummedupyearsandyearsandyearswhilehesaidadozenwords,butthatwhathedidsaypresentedpicturestome,andnotmerewords.
Intheexcitedandexaltedstateofmybrain,Icouldnotthinkofaplacewithoutseeingit,orofpersonswithoutseeingthem.
Itisimpossibletoover-statethevividnessoftheseimages,andyetIwassointent,allthetime,uponhimhimself—whowouldnotbeintentonthetigercrouchingtospring!
—thatIknewoftheslightestactionofhisfingers.
Whenhehaddrunkthissecondtime,herosefromthebenchonwhichhesat,andpushedthetableaside.
Then,hetookupthecandle,andshadingitwithhismurderoushandsoastothrowitslightonme,stoodbeforeme,lookingatmeandenjoyingthesight.
“Wolf,I’lltellyousomethingmore.ItwasOldOrlickasyoutumbledoveronyourstairsthatnight.”
Isawthestaircasewithitsextinguishedlamps.
Isawtheshadowsoftheheavystair-rails,thrownbythewatchman’slanternonthewall.
IsawtheroomsthatIwasnevertoseeagain;here,adoorhalfopen;there,adoorclosed;allthearticlesoffurniturearound.
“AndwhywasOldOrlickthere?I’lltellyousomethingmore,wolf.
Youandherhaveprettywellhuntedmeoutofthiscountry,sofarasgettingaeasylivinginitgoes,andI’vetookupwithnewcompanions,andnewmasters.
Someof‘emwritesmyletterswhenIwants‘emwrote—doyoumind?—writesmyletters,wolf!
Theywritesfiftyhands;they’renotlikesneakingyou,aswritesbutone.
I’vehadafirmmindandafirmwilltohaveyourlife,sinceyouwasdownhereatyoursister’sburying.
Ihan’tseenawaytogetyousafe,andI’velookedarteryoutoknowyourinsandouts.
For,saysOldOrlicktohimself,‘SomehoworanotherI’llhavehim!’What!
WhenIlooksforyou,IfindsyouruncleProvis,eh?”
MillPondBank,andChinks’sBasin,andtheOldGreenCopperRope-Walk,allsoclearandplain!
Provisinhisrooms,thesignalwhoseusewasover,prettyClara,thegoodmotherlywoman,oldBillBarleyonhisback,alldriftingby,asontheswiftstreamofmylifefastrunningouttosea!
“Youwithauncletoo!Why,Iknow’dyouatGargery’swhenyouwassosmallawolfthatIcouldhavetookyourweazenbetwixtthisfingerandthumbandchuckedyouawaydead(asI’dthoughtso’doing,oddtimes,whenIseeyouloiteringamongstthepollardsonaSunday),andyouhadn’tfoundnounclesthen.No,notyou!
ButwhenOldOrlickcomefortohearthatyouruncleProvishadmostlikeworetheleg-ironwotOldOrlickhadpickedup,filedasunder,onthesemesheseversomanyyearago,andwothekepbyhimtillhedroppedyoursisterwithit,likeabullock,ashemeanstodropyou—hey?—whenhecomefortohearthat—hey?—”
Inhissavagetaunting,heflaredthecandlesocloseatme,thatIturnedmyfaceaside,tosaveitfromtheflame.
“Ah!”hecried,laughing,afterdoingitagain,“theburntchilddreadsthefire!
OldOrlickknowedyouwasburnt,OldOrlickknowedyouwassmugglingyouruncleProvisaway,OldOrlick’samatchforyouandknow’dyou’dcometo-night!
NowI’lltellyousomethingmore,wolf,andthisendsit.
There’sthemthat’sasgoodamatchforyouruncleProvisasOldOrlickhasbeenforyou.
Lethim‘warethem,whenhe’slosthisnevvy!
Lethim‘warethem,whennomancan’tfindaragofhisdearrelation’sclothes,noryetaboneofhisbody.
There’sthemthatcan’tandthatwon’thaveMagwitch—yes,Iknowthename!
—aliveinthesamelandwiththem,andthat’shadsuchsureinformationofhimwhenhewasaliveinanotherland,asthathecouldn’tandshouldn’tleaveitunbeknownandputthemindanger.
P’rapsit’sthemthatwritesfiftyhands,andthat’snotlikesneakingyouaswritesbutone.
‘WareCompeyson,Magwitch,andthegallows!”
Heflaredthecandleatmeagain,smokingmyfaceandhair,andforaninstantblindingme,andturnedhispowerfulbackashereplacedthelightonthetable.
Ihadthoughtaprayer,andhadbeenwithJoeandBiddyandHerbert,beforeheturnedtowardsmeagain.
Therewasaclearspaceofafewfeetbetweenthetableandtheoppositewall.
Withinthisspace,henowslouchedbackwardsandforwards.
Hisgreatstrengthseemedtositstrongeruponhimthaneverbefore,ashedidthiswithhishandshanginglooseandheavyathissides,andwithhiseyesscowlingatme.Ihadnograinofhopeleft.
Wildasmyinwardhurrywas,andwonderfultheforceofthepicturesthatrushedbymeinsteadofthoughts,IcouldyetclearlyunderstandthatunlesshehadresolvedthatIwaswithinafewmomentsofsurelyperishingoutofallhumanknowledge,hewouldneverhavetoldmewhathehadtold.
Ofasudden,hestopped,tookthecorkoutofhisbottle,andtosseditaway.
Lightasitwas,Ihearditfalllikeaplummet.
Heswallowedslowly,tiltingupthebottlebylittleandlittle,andnowhelookedatmenomore.
Thelastfewdropsofliquorhepouredintothepalmofhishand,andlickedup.
Then,withasuddenhurryofviolenceandswearinghorribly,hethrewthebottlefromhim,andstooped;andIsawinhishandastone-hammerwithalongheavyhandle.
TheresolutionIhadmadedidnotdesertme,for,withoututteringonevainwordofappealtohim,Ishoutedoutwithallmymight,andstruggledwithallmymight.
ItwasonlymyheadandmylegsthatIcouldmove,buttothatextentIstruggledwithalltheforce,untilthenunknown,thatwaswithinme.
InthesameinstantIheardresponsiveshouts,sawfiguresandagleamoflightdashinatthedoor,heardvoicesandtumult,andsawOrlickemergefromastruggleofmen,asifitweretumblingwater,clearthetableataleap,andflyoutintothenight.
Afterablank,IfoundthatIwaslyingunbound,onthefloor,inthesameplace,withmyheadonsomeone’sknee.
Myeyeswerefixedontheladderagainstthewall,whenIcametomyself—hadopenedonitbeforemymindsawit—andthusasIrecoveredconsciousness,IknewthatIwasintheplacewhereIhadlostit.
Tooindifferentatfirst,eventolookroundandascertainwhosupportedme,Iwaslyinglookingattheladder,whentherecamebetweenmeandit,aface.ThefaceofTrabb’sboy!
“Ithinkhe’sallright!”saidTrabb’sboy,inasobervoice;“butain’thejustpalethough!”
Atthesewords,thefaceofhimwhosupportedmelookedoverintomine,andIsawmysupportertobe—
“Herbert!GreatHeaven!”
“Softly,”saidHerbert.“Gently,Handel.Don’tbetooeager.”
“Andouroldcomrade,Startop!”Icried,ashetoobentoverme.
“Rememberwhatheisgoingtoassistusin,”saidHerbert,“andbecalm.”
Theallusionmademespringup;thoughIdroppedagainfromthepaininmyarm.
“Thetimehasnotgoneby,Herbert,hasit?Whatnightisto-night?HowlonghaveIbeenhere?”
For,IhadastrangeandstrongmisgivingthatIhadbeenlyingtherealongtime—adayandanight—twodaysandnights—more.
“Thetimehasnotgoneby.ItisstillMondaynight.”
“ThankGod!”
“Andyouhaveallto-morrow,Tuesday,torestin,”saidHerbert.“Butyoucan’thelpgroaning,mydearHandel.Whathurthaveyougot?Canyoustand?”
“Yes,yes,”saidI,“Icanwalk.Ihavenohurtbutinthisthrobbingarm.”
Theylaiditbare,anddidwhattheycould.
Itwasviolentlyswollenandinflamed,andIcouldscarcelyenduretohaveittouched.
But,theytoreuptheirhandkerchiefstomakefreshbandages,andcarefullyreplaceditinthesling,untilwecouldgettothetownandobtainsomecoolinglotiontoputuponit.
Inalittlewhilewehadshutthedoorofthedarkandemptysluice-house,andwerepassingthroughthequarryonourwayback.
Trabb’sboy—Trabb’sovergrownyoungmannow—wentbeforeuswithalantern,whichwasthelightIhadseencomeinatthedoor.
But,themoonwasagoodtwohourshigherthanwhenIhadlastseenthesky,andthenightthoughrainywasmuchlighter.
Thewhitevapourofthekilnwaspassingfromusaswewentby,and,asIhadthoughtaprayerbefore,Ithoughtathanksgivingnow.
EntreatingHerberttotellmehowhehadcometomyrescue—whichatfirsthehadflatlyrefusedtodo,buthadinsistedonmyremainingquiet—IlearntthatIhadinmyhurrydroppedtheletter,open,inourchambers,wherehe,cominghometobringwithhimStartopwhomhehadmetinthestreetonhiswaytome,foundit,verysoonafterIwasgone.
Itstonemadehimuneasy,andthemoresobecauseoftheinconsistencybetweenitandthehastyletterIhadleftforhim.
Hisuneasinessincreasinginsteadofsubsidingafteraquarterofanhour’sconsideration,hesetoffforthecoach-office,withStartop,whovolunteeredhiscompany,tomakeinquirywhenthenextcoachwentdown.
Findingthattheafternooncoachwasgone,andfindingthathisuneasinessgrewintopositivealarm,asobstaclescameinhisway,heresolvedtofollowinapost-chaise.
So,heandStartoparrivedattheBlueBoar,fullyexpectingtheretofindme,ortidingsofme;but,findingneither,wentontoMissHavisham’s,wheretheylostme.
Hereupontheywentbacktothehotel(doubtlessataboutthetimewhenIwashearingthepopularlocalversionofmyownstory),torefreshthemselvesandtogetsomeonetoguidethemoutuponthemarshes.
AmongtheloungersundertheBoar’sarchway,happenedtobeTrabb’sboy—truetohisancienthabitofhappeningtobeeverywherewherehehadnobusiness—andTrabb’sboyhadseenmepassingfromMissHavisham’sinthedirectionofmydining-place.
Thus,Trabb’sboybecametheirguide,andwithhimtheywentouttothesluice-house:thoughbythetownwaytothemarshes,whichIhadavoided.
Now,astheywentalong,Herbertreflected,thatImight,afterall,havebeenbroughtthereonsomegenuineandserviceableerrandtendingtoProvis’ssafety,and,bethinkinghimselfthatinthatcaseinterruptionmustbemischievous,lefthisguideandStartopontheedgeofthequarry,andwentonbyhimself,andstoleroundthehousetwoorthreetimes,endeavouringtoascertainwhetherallwasrightwithin.
Ashecouldhearnothingbutindistinctsoundsofonedeeproughvoice(thiswaswhilemymindwassobusy),heevenatlastbegantodoubtwhetherIwasthere,whensuddenlyIcriedoutloudly,andheansweredthecries,andrushedin,closelyfollowedbytheothertwo.
WhenItoldHerbertwhathadpassedwithinthehouse,hewasforourimmediatelygoingbeforeamagistrateinthetown,lateatnightasitwas,andgettingoutawarrant.
But,Ihadalreadyconsideredthatsuchacourse,bydetainingusthere,orbindingustocomeback,mightbefataltoProvis.
Therewasnogainsayingthisdifficulty,andwerelinquishedallthoughtsofpursuingOrlickatthattime.
Forthepresent,underthecircumstances,wedeemeditprudenttomakeratherlightofthemattertoTrabb’sboy;whoIamconvincedwouldhavebeenmuchaffectedbydisappointment,ifhehadknownthathisinterventionsavedmefromthelimekiln.
NotthatTrabb’sboywasofamalignantnature,butthathehadtoomuchsparevivacity,andthatitwasinhisconstitutiontowantvarietyandexcitementatanybody’sexpense.
Whenweparted,Ipresentedhimwithtwoguineas(whichseemedtomeethisviews),andtoldhimthatIwassorryevertohavehadanillopinionofhim(whichmadenoimpressiononhimatall).
Wednesdaybeingsocloseuponus,wedeterminedtogobacktoLondonthatnight,threeinthepost-chaise;therather,asweshouldthenbeclearaway,beforethenight’sadventurebegantobetalkedof.
Herbertgotalargebottleofstuffformyarm,andbydintofhavingthisstuffdroppedoveritallthenightthrough,Iwasjustabletobearitspainonthejourney.
ItwasdaylightwhenwereachedtheTemple,andIwentatoncetobed,andlayinbedallday.
Myterror,asIlaythere,offallingillandbeingunfittedfortomorrow,wassobesetting,thatIwonderitdidnotdisablemeofitself.
Itwouldhavedoneso,prettysurely,inconjunctionwiththementalwearandtearIhadsuffered,butfortheunnaturalstrainuponmethatto-morrowwas.
Soanxiouslylookedforwardto,chargedwithsuchconsequences,itsresultssoimpenetrablyhiddenthoughsonear.
Noprecautioncouldhavebeenmoreobviousthanourrefrainingfromcommunicationwithhimthatday;yetthisagainincreasedmyrestlessness.
Istartedateveryfootstepandeverysound,believingthathewasdiscoveredandtaken,andthiswasthemessengertotellmeso.
IpersuadedmyselfthatIknewhewastaken;thattherewassomethingmoreuponmymindthanafearorapresentiment;thatthefacthadoccurred,andIhadamysteriousknowledgeofit.
Asthedayworeonandnoillnewscame,asthedayclosedinanddarknessfell,myovershadowingdreadofbeingdisabledbyillnessbeforeto-morrowmorning,altogethermasteredme.
Myburningarmthrobbed,andmyburningheadthrobbed,andIfanciedIwasbeginningtowander.
Icounteduptohighnumbers,tomakesureofmyself,andrepeatedpassagesthatIknewinproseandverse.
Ithappenedsometimesthatinthemereescapeofafatiguedmind,Idozedforsomemomentsorforgot;thenIwouldsaytomyselfwithastart,“Nowithascome,andIamturningdelirious!”
Theykeptmeveryquietallday,andkeptmyarmconstantlydressed,andgavemecoolingdrinks.
WheneverIfellasleep,IawokewiththenotionIhadhadinthesluice-house,thatalongtimehadelapsedandtheopportunitytosavehimwasgone.
AboutmidnightIgotoutofbedandwenttoHerbert,withtheconvictionthatIhadbeenasleepforfour-and-twentyhours,andthatWednesdaywaspast.
Itwasthelastself-exhaustingeffortofmyfretfulness,for,afterthat,Isleptsoundly.
WednesdaymorningwasdawningwhenIlookedoutofwindow.
Thewinkinglightsuponthebridgeswerealreadypale,thecomingsunwaslikeamarshoffireonthehorizon.
Theriver,stilldarkandmysterious,wasspannedbybridgesthatwereturningcoldlygrey,withhereandthereattopawarmtouchfromtheburninginthesky.
AsIlookedalongtheclusteredroofs,withChurchtowersandspiresshootingintotheunusuallyclearair,thesunroseup,andaveilseemedtobedrawnfromtheriver,andmillionsofsparklesburstoutuponitswaters.
Frommetoo,aveilseemedtobedrawn,andIfeltstrongandwell.
Herbertlayasleepinhisbed,andouroldfellow-studentlayasleeponthesofa.
Icouldnotdressmyselfwithouthelp,butImadeupthefire,whichwasstillburning,andgotsomecoffeereadyforthem.
Ingoodtimetheytoostartedupstrongandwell,andweadmittedthesharpmorningairatthewindows,andlookedatthetidethatwasstillflowingtowardsus.
“Whenitturnsatnineo’clock,”saidHerbert,cheerfully,“lookoutforus,andstandready,youoverthereatMillPondBank!”
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